Chapter II: Part 2

Oh, Mama! the longing I sometimes have for dear Papa surpasses all
bounds. In thought he is ever present and near me; still we are but
mortals, and as such at times long for him also. Dear, good Papa!
Take courage, dear Mama, and feel strong in the thought that you
require all your moral and physical strength to continue the
journey which brings you daily nearer to _Home_ and to _Him_! I
know how weary you feel, how you long to rest your head on his dear
shoulder, to have him to soothe your aching heart. You will find
this rest again, and how blessed will it not be! Bear patiently
and courageously your heavy burden, and it will lighten
imperceptibly as you near him, and God’s love and mercy will
support you. Oh, could my feeble words bring you the least comfort!
They come from a trusting, true, and loving heart, if from naught
else.

AUERBACH, August 16th.

* * * We do feel for you so deeply and would wish so much to help
you, but there is but One who can do that, and you know whom to
seek. He will give you strength to live on till the bright day of
reunion. * * *

AUERBACH, August 21st.

* * * Our visit to Giessen[19] went off very well. The people were
most loyal. We went to see the Gymnasts, and Louis walked about
amongst them, which pleased them very much. He is very popular
there, and I am very glad we both went, for it made a good
impression.

We drove to Louis’ property, Stauffenberg, a beautiful (alas!
ruined) castle, which by degrees he is having restored, and which
will be a charming house for us, if it is finished, which can only
be done gradually.

AUERBACH, August 23d.

* * * Try and gather in the few bright things you have remaining
and cherish them, for though faint, yet they are types of that
infinite joy still to come. I am sure, dear Mama, the more you try
to appreciate and to find the good in that which God in His love
has _left_ you, the more worthy you will daily become of that which
is in store. That earthly happiness you had is indeed gone forever,
but you must not think that every ray of it has left you. You have
the privilege, which dear Papa knew so well how to value, in your
exalted position, of doing good and living for others, of carrying
on his plans, his wishes into fulfilment, and as you go on doing
your duty, this will, this must, I feel sure, bring you peace and
comfort. Forgive me, darling Mama, if I speak so openly; but my
love for you is such that I cannot be silent, when I long so
fervently to give you some slight comfort and hope in your present
life.

I have known and watched your deep sorrow with a sympathizing,
though aching heart. Do not think that absence from you can still
that pain. My love for you is strong, is constant; I would like to
shelter you in my arms, to protect you from all future anxiety, to
still your aching longing! My own sweet Mama, you know I would give
my life for you, could I alter what you have to bear!

_Trust in God!_ ever and constantly. In _my_ life I feel that to be
my stay and my strength, and the feeling increases as the days go
on. My thoughts of the future are bright, and this always helps to
make the minor worries and sorrows of the present dissolve before
the warm rays of that light which is our guide.

AUERBACH, August 25th.

* * * To-day is the Ludwigstag, a day kept throughout the country,
and on which every Ludwig receives presents, etc.; but we spend it
quite quietly. Louis’ parents and the others are coming to
breakfast, and remain during the day. Louis is out riding. We
always get up early. He rides whilst I write, and we then walk
together and breakfast somewhere out of doors.

We went to the little church here yesterday, which is very old, and
they sang so well.

I drew out of doors also, as it was very fine; but it is very
difficult, as it is all green, and the trees are my misfortune, as
I draw them so badly. I play sometimes with Christa[20]; she plays
very well.

August 26th [Prince Consort’s Birthday].

With a heavy heart do I take up my pen to write to you to-day--this
dear day, now so sad, save through its bright recollections. I
cannot bear to think of it now, with no one to bring our wishes to,
with that painful silence where such mirth and gaiety used to be.
It is very hard to bear, and the first anniversary is like the
commencement of a new epoch in our deep sorrow.

When your dear present was brought to me this morning, I could not
take my eyes from it, though they were blinded with tears. Oh,
those beautiful, those loved features! There wants but his kind
look and word to make the picture alive! Thousand thanks for it,
dear Mama.

How trying this day will be for you! My thoughts are constantly
with you, and I envy the privilege the others have in being near
you and being able to do the least thing for you.

The sun shines brightly in the still blue sky; how bright and
peaceful it must be where our dear Spirit dwells, if it is already
so beautiful here.

September 5th.

* * * Two days ago Louis and I went to Worms. Whilst he went to his
regiment, which the Grand Duke came to inspect, I went to the Dom,
which is most beautiful; and then went in a little boat on the
Rhine, which was charming. It took us, driving, an hour and a half
from Auerbach to Worms.

AUERBACH, September 7th.

* * * For Louis’ birthday we are going to Darmstadt; it is getting
cold and damp here, and the house is small. We take our meals in
another house, and it is cold to walk over there of an evening.
Think of us on the 12th. It was such a happy day last year.[21]

I have such _Heimweh_ [yearning] after beloved Papa; it is dreadful
sometimes when I think of him and of our home. But he is so happy
in his bright home, could we but catch a glimpse of him there. Dear
Grandmama [the Duchess of Kent], too, is constantly in my thoughts
lately. I can see her before me--so dear, kind, and merry. As time
goes on, such things only mingle themselves more vividly with one’s
usual life; for it is their _life_ which is nearest us again, and
not their _death_, which casts such a gloom over their remembrance.

AUERBACH, September 11th.

* * * How beautiful Heidelberg is! we went all over the Castle, and
with such glorious weather. There is one side still standing, built
and decorated by a pupil of Michael Angelo, which dear Papa admired
so much. How do I miss not being able to talk to beloved Papa of
all I see, hear, feel, and think! His absence makes such a gap in
my existence.

DARMSTADT, October 13th.

* * * Our visit to Baden was charming, and dear Fritz and
Louise[22] so kind! Louis and I were both delighted by our visit.
The Queen, the Duchess of Hamilton, and Grand Duchess Hélène were
there, besides dear Aunt [Princess Hohenlohe], and Countess
Blücher. The two latter, dear and precious as ever.

We left yesterday morning; spent three hours with Grand Duchess
Sophie, who is the most agreeable, clever, amiable person one can
imagine. It gave me real pleasure to make her acquaintance. Aunt
Feodore’s house, though small, is really very pretty, and her rooms
are hung full of pictures. I saw Winterhalter also, in his lovely
new house, which he has gone and sold, saying it was too good for
him. He has painted a most beautiful picture of the Grand Duchess
Hélène--quite speaking.

* * * I am going to make my will before leaving. I do not like
leaving (for England) without having done something.

DARMSTADT, October 17th.

First of all, thousand thanks from Louis and me for your having
allowed dear Arthur[23] to come with us. I cannot tell you what
pleasure it has been to me to have that dear child a little bit. He
has won all hearts, and I am so proud when they admire my little
brother, who is a mixture of you and adored Papa.

DARMSTADT, October 23d.

* * * We intend probably leaving this on Saturday, the 8th,
remaining until the 10th at Coblenz, from whence we go direct in
eleven hours and three-quarters to Antwerp, leaving Antwerp the
morning of the 12th, to reach Windsor that evening or the next
morning.

We always continue reading together, and have read _Hypatia_, a
most beautiful, most interesting, and very learned and clever
book, which requires great attention.

I have the great bore to read the newspapers every day, which I
must do; see Dr. Becker[24] from eleven to twelve; then I write,
and have constantly people to see, so that I have scarcely any time
to draw or to play. I also read serious book to myself.

Louis would like to go to Leeds and Manchester from Osborne, as he
wants to go to London from Windsor. I shall accompany him
sometimes.

October 25th.

As you come later to Windsor, we shall not leave till the 10th,
remain the 11th with the Queen, then go direct to Antwerp. If the
weather is bad we shall wait. Then on the 14th or 15th we shall be
at Windsor, which we prefer to coming to Osborne. We hope this will
suit you.

_All_ are full of lamentations at our departure, and for so long,
which is most natural; but they are very kind. We have a family
dinner in our little room to-day, which is large enough for a few
people. The Grand Duke has quite lost his heart to Arthur, and
Bertie [Prince of Wales] pleased him also very much.

In talking together last night, Louis said what I feel so often,
that he always felt as if it must come right again some time, and
we should find dear Papa home again. In another _home_ we shall.

October 30th.

The Grand Duke was quite overcome when I gave him the photographs,
and with Baby’s [Princess Beatrice’s] he is quite enchanted, and
wishes me to tell you how grateful he is, and how much he thanks
you. You cannot think _how_ pleased he was, and the more so that
_you_ sent them him. He has a warm heart and feels very much for
you, and takes a warm interest in all my brothers and sisters.

I am glad you are going to see dear Fritz of Baden; he will be so
pleased. We shall see Louise at Coblenz.

The plans for our house have come, and even the simplest is far
above what we poor mortals can build.

November 6th.

* * * Yesterday, Mrs. Combe, widow of George Combe and daughter of
Mrs. Siddons, came to see me and was with me some time. She is a
clever, amiable old lady. It gave me such pleasure to see and talk
with her. Will you tell Sir James Clark so, as she is an old friend
of his.

1863.

Each visit to her old home seemed to give fresh life to Princess Alice, and it can therefore be easily understood how great her happiness was at being again under her mother’s roof and care, there to await the realization of her fondest hopes.

It was also a great comfort to the Princess to spend the first anniversary of her father’s death with her family around her.

On the 18th of December, 1862, the remains of the Prince Consort were placed in a temporary sarcophagus, in the centre of the newly-erected mausoleum at Frogmore in the presence of the Prince of Wales, Prince Arthur, Prince Leopold, and Prince Louis of Hesse.

Prince Louis occupied much of his time during his long stay in England in making a number of interesting visits to the chief industrial centres, and to military arsenals and depots.

Princess Alice met with a carriage accident on the last day of the old year, which happily was followed by no bad consequences.

On the 10th of March, 1863, the Prince of Wales was married to the Princess Alexandra of Denmark, at St. George’s Chapel, Windsor Castle, in the presence of the whole Royal family. It was the first Royal marriage which had been celebrated in that chapel since the marriage of Henry I., in 1122.

Soon after, on Easter Sunday, the 5th of April, 1863, Princess Louis of Hesse gave birth to a daughter at Windsor Castle. This event was made known next day at Darmstadt by the firing of twenty-one guns. The best possible news continued to be received of the well-doing of mother and child.

The little Princess was christened on the 27th of April, at Windsor, by the Hessian Court chaplain, Bender. She received the names of Victoria Alberta Elizabeth Matilda. The Princes Alexander and Henry of Hesse represented the Grand Ducal family at the christening.

Princess Alice completed her recovery during a stay at Osborne in May, and while there was able to accompany the Queen on a visit to the Military Hospital at Netley.

After a short stay in London, Prince and Princess Louis of Hesse and their little daughter returned to Darmstadt. They spent the summer months at Kranichstein, a shooting-lodge near Darmstadt, belonging to the Grand Duke. The Princess employed her time in becoming better acquainted with her adopted country, its inhabitants, their customs, and ways of thinking.

The Congress of German Potentates and Princes at Frankfort, in August, brought the Princess in contact with many crowned heads. She proved herself her father’s true child in regard to politics. The Prince Consort had always longed for an united Germany, with Prussia at its head, and a Liberal constitution. Princess Alice’s letters will show how truly German her feelings were in the Schleswig-Holstein question, which at that time, owing to the death of King Frederick VII. of Denmark, and the claims made by his successor, King Christian IX., to the succession in the Duchies also, assumed a European interest, and led to consequences of permanent importance in the history of Europe. The accounts of the manner in which the Prince and Princess Louis endeavored to fulfil their social duties throw a significant light upon the way in which the young Princess discharged her duties as the mistress of her home.

In August the Princess met Queen Victoria at Coburg; and afterward had the happiness of receiving Her Majesty and her sisters Hélèna, Louise and Beatrice, and her brother Alfred, on a short visit at Kranichstein.

A few weeks later the Prince and Princess with their child joined the Queen at Balmoral, where nearly all the members of the Royal family were assembled.

In November they returned to Darmstadt, where, during their absence, the new palace had made rapid progress, and was roofed in. It was built on a site given by the Grand Duke, and after plans designed by the Princess herself. The arrangement of the interior was entirely carried out by herself in a manner both practical and artistic.

In December, Prince Louis’ only sister, Anna, was engaged to be married to the Grand Duke of Mecklenburg-Schwerin, an event which gave great satisfaction at the time. The Princess spent her first Christmas in Germany this year--1863.

MARLBOROUGH HOUSE, May 14th.

DEAREST MAMA:--Our parting this morning was most painful to both of
us--from you to whom we _owe_ so much, and whom we love so dearly.

May God comfort and support you, beloved Mama, on your sad and
weary pilgrimage!

MARLBOROUGH HOUSE, May 16th.

I could not get your dear face and your sweet voice out of my mind
for an instant, and everywhere I thought I must see you or dear
Papa. It seemed so strange; I had the tears in my eyes all day.
The worst was the opera, for I had never been without you or Papa,
and all was the same and yet so different. It was very trying to
me; and so will the drawing-room be to-day. * * * I saw Lady
Jocelyn, Duchess of Manchester, Sir Charles Locock, and Lord Alfred
Paget, to show them baby, and all find her like what we all were.
How much _we_ have to thank for in her name. Your affection for her
and all you have done for her have touched us more than I can say.
It seemed to me quite wrong to take her from you.

On Wednesday, Alix [Princess of Wales] and myself go to the
studios. This morning we drove in Battersea Park.

May 19th.

* * * The drawing-room was long, but Alix and I were not so tired,
considering the length of time, for we stood, excepting twenty
minutes, in the middle, when there was a block and the people could
not come.

In to-day’s letter you mention again your wish that we should soon
be with you again. Out of the ten months of our married life five
have been spent under your roof, so you see how ready we are to be
with you. Before next year Louis does not think we shall be able to
come; at any rate when we can we shall, and I hope we shall be able
to see you for a day or two in Germany to divide the time.

DARMSTADT, May 23d.

* * * Baby[25] has been so much admired, and all the clothes you
gave her.

DARMSTADT, May.

I sha’n’t have time to write more than a few words, as we have just
returned from church and are going to Mayence till Wednesday. The
Grand Duke came all the way to Kranichstein yesterday to go about
with us, and see how to arrange it comfortably. He is most kind,
and sat an hour with me.

We have received two deputations this morning, and my things, which
ought to have been here before us, only arrived to-day.

MAYENCE, June 2d.

There was a large dinner yesterday; the Nassaus dined here, and
this morning we have been to Biebrich. The Duke and Duchess,
Nicolas Nassau, Marianne of Prussia,[26] her sister the Duchess of
Altenburg, and Landgrave William were there. They were most kind
and civil. We hurried back in time for dinner. The Grand Duke is
most kind, has taken me everywhere about himself--into the Dom,
into several shops, etc.

Now when I return I shall have to unpack and pack again for
Kranichstein, and arrange the house there, which has not been lived
in for eighty years, so that for writing I have barely a moment.

I have good accounts of baby, whom all the old gentlemen run out of
their houses to look at, when she walks in the garden, and try to
tell Moffat [her nurse] what they think of her, but she of course
understands nothing.

DARMSTADT, June 3d.

I write to you to-day, as Louis is going for all day to Worms
to-morrow, and I am going to Jugenheim to Uncle Alexander. It is
already warm here, and we are going in a day or two into the
country.

The Queen of Prussia passes through here to-day, and I shall
probably hear from her what her intentions are about England. I
have received a splendid bracelet from the Empress of Russia--for
baby’s picture. She is said to be far from well.

DARMSTADT, June 6th.

* * * Louis was away from four o’clock yesterday morning till
eleven at night. He was at Worms with Uncle Louis. Tuesday is his
birthday, and we shall very likely go on Monday to Mayence, as
Uncle Louis is always wishing for us.

I took a walk at Jugenheim yesterday with Uncle Alexander, his wife
and children, of more than two hours, and it was so beautiful, and
numberless little birds singing. Uncle Alexander was so grateful
for all your kindness, and was above all so charmed with you. It
always makes me so happy to be able to talk about you, and to hear
you appreciated as you ought to be, darling Mama.

June 8th.

* * * Baby sits up quite strong, and looks about and laughs. She
has got on wonderfully, and she is so good. She was an hour with us
yesterday evening wide awake, and so good. She is as well and as
strong as any child could be. To-day we go to Mainz, and to-morrow
night from thence to Kranichstein. All our beds must be moved
meanwhile, as there are none in the house.

KRANICHSTEIN, June 12th.

Louis went at six this morning to Darmstadt for the inspection of
his regiment by Uncle Louis, Princess Charles’ birthday is on the
18th. The Grand Duke will be at Friedberg, and we are to go for the
day, which will be rather tiring, as it is a good way by rail and
back again, and we have to wait an hour at Frankfort.

Louis is going to take his seat in the Chamber on the 23d. He was
unable to do so last year, as we left for England two days before
the time.

June 19th.

* * * You ask me again if I occupy myself much and seriously? Not a
moment of the day is wasted, and I have enough to read and to think
about: what with the many and different papers, and interesting
books. Dr. Becker comes daily, and I have a good deal to look
after.

We have a dinner to-day--Prince and Princess Charles, Uncle
Adalbert, Anna, William, and the suites.

June 23d.

* * * You will be amused to hear that I have taken a little black
(a Malay) into my service. He is a dear good boy, was brought over
two years ago by a gentleman, to whom he was given away by his own
parents as a mark of gratitude for some service done. This man has
had him here two years, but has never had him taught any thing. He
has no religion, and can neither read nor write. I am going to have
him taught, and, later, christened. He is very intelligent,
thirteen years old.

We shall remain here for the present; we go about a good deal
seeing things near by, and then it is the first time we have our
household and stable, so that on account of Haushaltung
[housekeeping], etc., we are going to remain here for a little
time. It is very pleasant besides, and constant moving is far too
expensive for us. We give dinners here, which are also useful, as I
know so few people. Some of the Ständesherren are coming
to-morrow, and later some of the Abgeordneten [Deputies] of the
Second Chamber, which will give us an opportunity of making the
acquaintance of some of the Liberals in the country.

I cannot get rid of my rheumatism, which is so unpleasant.

Louis is very busy; he reads to me sometimes out of Lord Macaulay’s
last volume of the English History, which I had not yet read. Twice
a week Louis takes drill with his cavalry regiment, and he has to
ride out at six in the morning, as it is some way off.

June 27th.

* * * I bathe every morning and swim about; there is a nice little
bathing-house.

I hear baby shrieking out of doors; she does not cry very much, but
she is very passionate. She was vaccinated two days ago by Dr.
Weber, and I am going to be done next week; the small-pox is at
Darmstadt, and a man died of it yesterday. Louis is very
industrious and busy; he has all the papers of the Stände [State
papers] to read and look through, and reads other useful books,
besides papers and other things which he must read. He wrote to
Lord Derby to express his thanks for having been made a Doctor at
Oxford. He takes a great deal of exercise, riding, walking, rowing,
swimming. We get up at six every morning, and go to bed after ten.

Louis has always a good deal to do at home, and a good many things
which would never be expected of him in England. He knows the
necessity and importance of working. I hope next month Uncle
Ernest[27] will come to us for a day on his way back from Homburg.
He has asked us for a few days to the Calenberg whilst you are in
Germany, and then in the winter we hope to be for a few days at
Gotha.

The Lützows,[28] and Miss Seymour dine with us to-day.

June 30th.

Lady Fife is at Homburg, and is coming to dine with us. To-morrow
all the family and some other people come to dinner. We have seen a
good many people; we receive in the morning or for dinner.

Dalwigk gave a large _soirée_ in the woods, with a supper for us,
last night. All the Ständesherren and Foreign Ministers were there.

To-morrow is our dear wedding-day. With what gratitude do I look
back to that commencement of such happiness, and such real and true
love, which even daily increases in my beloved husband. Oh, may we
not be deprived of it too soon! I admire and respect him for his
true-hearted, generous, unselfish, and just nature! Oh, dear Mama,
if you only knew how excellent he is! I wish I were good like him,
for he is free from any selfish, small, or uncharitable feelings.
You should see how he is beloved by all his people; our servants
adore him. I open my heart to you, who have so warm and
sympathizing a heart, that even in the midst of such deep grief and
sorrow as yours will listen to what your children, who love you
dearly, long to say.

Our little one is grown so pretty; she has little pink cheeks, and
is so fat and so good-humored. I often think her like you when she
smiles.

July 2d.

You can fancy how much we thought of this day last year, and of
you and all the love and kindness you showed us then. How truly we
both love you, and, when we can, how willingly we shall come to
your side, and be of the least use to you, you know, for I feel for
you and with you, more than words can describe.

Our first large dinner yesterday went off very well. We make our
arrangements, sitting, etc., all as you and dear Papa had it, which
is new here, but I am happy to say, approved of. We always dine at
four. Baby appeared afterward, and really never cries when she is
shown, but smiles, and seems quite amused. She is immensely
admired, particularly for her healthy appearance and fine large
eyes. I really think her like you now; she is very much changed,
and, when she sits up, looks so pretty and dear.

To-day we have again a dinner. There is a fine dining-room and
drawing-room here, so that we can see a good many people.

July 4th.

Shortly we are going to pay Prince Solms-Lich, the president of the
First Chamber, a visit. He is very liberal on the whole, rich, and
a nice old gentleman. He knew Grandpapa in the year 1820, also
Uncle Charles, Uncle Hohenlohe, Aunt Feodore, and Eliza. Lady Fife,
Annie, and Mr. Corbett from Frankfort are coming to us to-day.

The Grand Duke of Weimar was here yesterday for dinner at the
Schloss.

What you said about Germany is so true; and Louis has the real good
of his country near at heart. They always have to vote for or
against what the Second Chamber brings forward, and the other day a
vote was sent in from the Liberals for an alteration of a press
law. Only one voice in the whole Chamber was for it, which was
Louis’, and this produced a very good effect among the Liberals. He
is no coward, and will say what he thinks, if it is necessary, even
if all are against him.

KRANICHSTEIN, July 15th.

To-day is Uncle Alexander’s birthday, and we have to drive for
dinner to Seeheim. To-morrow morning we leave for Lich at five in
the morning.

Two nights ago a horrid and _schauerliches_ [appalling] event took
place here. I went out about eight down to the pond, which is close
to the house, to meet Louis. I met an odd-looking pale man, who
neither bowed nor looked about, walking slowly along; and when I
joined Louis he asked me if I had seen him, as he had been prowling
about all the afternoon. We stopped a little longer, when at the
end our grooms were running. We rowed on to see what was the
matter, and on coming near, a body was floating in the water, the
face already quite blue and lifeless. I recognized him at once.
Louis and the others with trouble fished him out and laid him in
our boat to bring him on shore. It was very horrid to see. We
brought him on shore, tried all means to restore him to life, but
of no avail. He was carried into the stable. He had committed
suicide, and we heard afterward that he was a very bad character.
You can fancy that it was very unpleasant to me, to have that
disfigured corpse next me in the boat; and it haunts me now,--for a
violent death leaves frightful traces, so unlike any thing else.
But half or quarter of an hour before, I had passed that man in
life, and so shortly after to see him floating by quite lifeless!
It brings death before one in its worst form, when one sees a _bad
man_ die by his own hand. The indifference with which the other
people treated it, and dragged him along, was also revolting to
one’s feelings; but one must be manly, and not mind those things;
yet I own it made me rather sick, and prevented my sleep that
night.

I am glad we are going away for a few days; the change will be
pleasant.

It was such a pleasure to me to have seen dear Lady Frances Baillie
the other day, and she was looking well, though she is very thin.

You kindly gave me our dear Papa’s Farm-book for the Farmers’ Union
here; the people are so touched and pleased. I send you the letter
of thanks to read.

LICH, July 18th.

* * * We leave to-morrow afternoon for Frankfort, and the next day
we go to Homburg on the way home. The Prince and Princess are most
kind and civil; they have a fine Schloss, and are rich. The latter
is clever and amiable, and the young people--their nephews and
nieces--are very nice and very kind. It is a fine, rich country,
and they seem very much beloved. The sister of the Princess,
Princess Solms-Laubach, _née_ Büdingen, is here also. Her husband
was in the Prussian service, and they lived at Bonn whilst dear
Papa was there. He came to see them and to spend the evening there
very often. She told me how handsome he then was, and how much
praised and liked by all. She asked after Rath Florschütz,[29] and
Eos,[30] and if dear Papa continued later on to be so sleepy of an
evening, as he was even then.

KRANICHSTEIN, July 21st.

Our visit at Lich went off very well. Everything is so _vornehm_
[in such good style] and so well arranged.

July 23d.

We are going to give Heinrich[31] a rendezvous somewhere, perhaps
at Kreuznach, which is not very far. On August 1st, we are going to
the north of the country,--a part which I do not know,--and on the
way we stop at Giessen, where we have been invited to see an
agricultural exhibition. On Monday we give a tea and a
dance--between fifty and sixty people. The advantage of this place
is its nearness to Darmstadt, and that there is room enough to
receive people.

The Russian and French ambassadors, with their wives, and Mr.
Corbett and Lord Robert S. Kerr, dine with us to-day.

July 27th.

I have no news to give. To-night we give our first large
party--seventy people.

August 1st.

Yesterday we were all day at Rumpenheim: so kindly received! The
Landgrave, his two brothers, Frederic and George, the Dowager
Duchess of Mecklenburg-Strelitz, her daughter Duchess Caroline,
Aunt Cambridge, Mary, Augusta, and Adolphus; Fritz and Anna of
Hesse and good Princess Louise, kindness itself. Aunt Cambridge was
very amiable, and spoke most tenderly of you. To-morrow morning
Louis goes to Oberhessen, where I join him in two days. I go to see
Uncle Alexander at Jugenheim; go on Monday to Friedberg, where
there is an asylum for blind people, of which I am Protectorin
[Patroness]. I go to see it, and sleep at the Castle. The next day
I stop on my road to see Marburg, and shall be in the evening at
Alsfeld, where I find Louis. The next day I go on to Herr von
Riedesel at Altenburg, where I breakfast, and I dine and spend the
night with another Riedesel family at Eisenbach. Louis joins me
that evening. The next day we go on though the country, as the
people are anxious to see us, and the country is very beautiful. On
Thursday and Friday we shall be at Giessen, on Saturday at home.

GIESSEN, August 7th.

I am very hot and tired; we have only just reached this place, and
have to go out almost immediately to see the animals and machines.

Our journey has been most prosperous, but rather tiring, and the
heat quite fearful. We were most kindly received everywhere.
English, Hessian, German flags everywhere, and _Gesangvereine_ of
an evening.

Last night we slept at Schotten, and posted from thence to-day
through a lovely, rich, wooded, and mountainous district, the
Vogelsberg.

We have had but one room everywhere, and have remained only long
enough at a place to see it, so that writing has been impossible.
To-morrow evening we return to Kranichstein, and then I will write
to you an account of every thing. Here, with no time, and with such
heat and noise, it is impossible.

KRANICHSTEIN, August 9th.

* * * We went, when I last wrote to you at Giessen, to see the
different machines at work, in a crowd close round us and a
smothering heat. It was interesting, though, in spite of all. The
people cheered and were very civil. That day, at the meeting of
the agriculturists, Count Laubach told me dear Papa’s book lay on
the table, and is of the greatest use and interest. I am so pleased
to have been the first in Germany to make known something of Papa’s
knowledge in this science, one of the many in which dear Papa
excelled. The people are so grateful to you for having sent it. In
the evening the president and some other scientific gentlemen came
to tea with us. I was so glad to see how pleased the people were at
the interest Louis takes in these things. A procession was really
very pretty; large carts, decorated with the different agricultural
emblems, peasants in their different costumes--it was something
quite new to me.

At Marburg, I saw in the beautiful church the grave of St.
Elizabeth, the castle where she lived, and many other things which
Kingsley mentions in his “Saint’s Tragedy.”

This week the Emperor of Austria and other potentates came to
Frankfort. The King of Prussia has refused, so that now, as it is
not a universal meeting, it will not be what it might have been.

August 19th.

* * * The Emperor came all the way to Kranichstein to pay us a
visit, and is very amiable, though not very talkative. Archduke
William, King Max, and the Duke of Brunswick were also here
yesterday.

We saw the procession to the Römer from a small room, already
filled by twelve Rumpenheimers! It was a very interesting sight.

August 21st.

* * * This evening all the crowned heads nearly are coming to the
opera, and the Rumpenheimers very likely also. Uncle Ernest comes
to us for dinner, and we take him with us.

August 24th.

* * * We dined at Homburg yesterday afternoon with the old
hereditary Grand Duchess of Schwerin, Louis’ great-aunt, who is
eighty-six, and as fresh and lively as ever. The Duke of Altenburg
and the Grand Duke of Schwerin were with us, and both of them wish
to have their respectful duty sent to you.

[During the months of September and October the Princess was in England on a visit to the Queen.]

BUCKINGHAM PALACE, October 28th.

Thousand thanks for your dear lines! How sad that we should be
reduced to writing again! It was such a happiness to speak to you,
and in return to hear all you had to say,--to try and soothe you,
and try to make your burden lighter. I always feel separation from
you so much, for I feel for and with you, more, oh, far more, than
I can ever express! I can only say again, trust, hope, and be
courageous, and every day will bring something in the fulfilment of
all your great duties, which will bring you peace, and make you
feel that you are not forsaken, that God has heard your prayer,
felt for you, as a loving Father would, and that dear Papa is not
far from you.

We remain here to-night, as Louis had a bad sick-headache,
toothache, and so on, and he must rest. We leave to-morrow
afternoon.

Affie [Prince Alfred] and William (of Hesse) were very well, and
seem quite happy together. Affie sends love, and William his
respects.

DARMSTADT, November 2d.

Before going out (half-past six) I begin these lines. You will have
heard what an awful passage we had. Christa and I had one of those
cabins near the paddle-box, and good old May[32] was with us. Each
wave that broke on the ship Christa and I groaned, and May
exclaimed: “Oh, goodness, gracious me! what an awful sea! Lord
bless you, child, I hope it is all safe!” and so on. If we had not
been so wretched, and had not looked so awful with those mountains
of waves about us, I should have laughed. All the maids and Moffat
were sick. Baby was sick all over her nice new shawl, which was a
great grief.

Uncle Louis and Uncle Gustav received us at the station. My
parents-in-law don’t return till Wednesday. Yesterday Uncle Louis
gave us a large dinner, and to-day he dines _en famille_ in our
house with Prince Adalbert of Bavaria, Uncle Gustav,[33] and
ourselves.

I was quite done up by this journey. At four in the morning we
changed carriages at Cologne, and did not get here till past twelve
o’clock--twenty-nine hours under way.

November 5th.

* * * Yesterday evening Louis and I were at a chemical lecture,
which was very interesting, by young Hallnachs, the brother of the
one Becker spoke to you about.

Our house is getting on very well, and we are often there.

Louis is very grateful and touched by your kind message, and kisses
your hand. He is often away for those tiresome Jagden
[shooting-parties] from five in the morning till eight at night, as
it is some way off.

November 14th.

It is not yet eight, and I have such cold fingers. The messenger
leaves at nine, so I must write now. We are going to Mayence
to-day, to see a house of our architect Kraus, which is said to be
very pretty and very English.

I paid Becker and his mother a visit yesterday. Their rooms are so
nice, pictures and presents from you and dear Papa in all
directions, remembrances of past, such happy, years!

Yesterday also I drove baby out in my little carriage. She sat on
Christa’s knees and looked about her so much; she went to sleep at
last.

November 17th.

* * * Yesterday I was all the morning with Julie Battenberg buying
Christmas presents. To-day also I am much occupied. We get up at
seven, with candles, every morning, as this is the best time for
doing all business, and breakfast at eight.

November 21st.

* * * The Holstein question, I fear, will lead to war. Fritz’[34]
rights are so clear. And I am sure all Germany will help him to
maintain his rights, for the cause is a just one.

I am sure, dear Mama, you are worried to death about it, which is
very hard, for you cannot undo what once exists. _Any thing_ only
to _avoid_ war! It would be a sad calamity for Germany, the end of
which no one can foresee.

My baby has this morning cut her first tooth, and makes such faces
if one ventures to touch her little mouth.

To-day I am going to visit the hospital in the town, which is said
not to be good or well looked after. I want to be able to do
something for it, and hope to succeed, for the people have plenty
of money, only not the will. The Burgomaster and Gemeinderath [the
Town Councillors] will meet me there.

I have just called into life what did not exist--that is, linen to
be lent for the poor women in their confinements, and which I hope
will be of use to them, for the dirt and discomfort is very great
in those classes.

November 28th.

* * * My visit to the hospital was very interesting, and the air
was good, the place clean and fresh. There were few people
dangerously ill there, and they looked well taken care of. Air and
water are making their way into these places to the benefit of
mankind.

I was so much distressed the other day; for the poor man who fell
in our house has died. He was a soldier, and so respectable and
industrious, not above twenty-four. This is already the second who
has died in consequence of a fall.

Our visit to Carlsruhe was very pleasant. The Queen [of Prussia]
was there, and we spoke so much of you together. She enters quite
into all your feelings, and perfectly understands all the sad
trials and difficulties of your position in addition to your just
and natural grief.

November 30th.

A few words of love and affection from us both on this dear
day--the third anniversary of the commencement of all our
happiness, which dear Papa and you enabled us to form.

Those happy days at Windsor and those awful days the year after! I
assure you the season, the days, _all_ make me sad--for the
impression of those two years can never be wiped out of my mind. I
can write but a few lines, as to-morrow we leave for Amorbach, and
to-day I go with Louis out shooting. It is cold and fine, as it was
two years ago.

Darling Mama, again and again we thank you and beloved Papa for all
your love to us at that time.

AMORBACH, December 2d.

* * * We arrived here at half-past four yesterday, after a bitter
cold drive in an open carriage over hard roads, all being frozen,
since ten in the morning. The country we came through was
beautiful, though all white, up and down hill all the way, through
many villages, through woods, etc. The house is large and
comfortable, full of souvenirs of dear Grandmama [Duchess of Kent],
of Uncle Charles.

I am so pleased to be with Ernest and Marie,[35] it is a bit of
home again.

DARMSTADT, December 6th.

* * * Our visit to Amorbach was so pleasant, though the weather was
bad. I was so happy to be once more with Ernest and Marie.
Edward[36] was very amusing and good-natured. I saw poor old
Wagner,[37] who wishes me to send you his duty.

December 8th.

* * * Think, only yesterday evening at a concert they played “Ruy
Blas,” which I had not heard since Windsor. The room, the band,
dear Papa, all came before me, and made my heart sink at the
thought that _that_ belonged to the bright recollections of the
past! I cried all the way home. Such trivial things sometimes
awaken recollections more vividly, and hurt more keenly, than
scenes of real distress. I am sure you know what I mean.

December 12th.

* * * I must close; my tears fall fast, and I ought not to make you
sadder, when you are sad enough already. Pray for me when you kneel
at _his_ grave--pray that my happiness may be allowed to last long;
think of me when you kneel there where on that day my hand rested
on your and Papa’s dear hands, two years ago. That bond between us
both is _so_ strong, beloved Mama. I feel it as a legacy from him.

December 22d.

A great pleasure I have had in arranging a tree for our good
servants. I bought all the things myself at the market, and hung
them on the tree; then I also got things for darling Louis.

December 26th.

* * * We all had trees in one large room in the Palace, and our
presents underneath it looked extremely pretty. Uncle Alexander’s
five children were there, and made such a noise with their
play-things.

Baby had a little tree early at her Grandpapa and Grandmama’s, with
all her pretty things.

Many thanks for the turkey-pie; we give a dinner to-day in honor.

1864.

The year 1864 was a most eventful one for Germany. After a severe struggle, the Duchies of Schleswig-Holstein were wrested from the control of the German Confederation or Diet at Frankfort, and occupied by Austrian and Prussian troops. The Princess’ own life that year was full of joyful events, and no cloud of sorrow came to disturb her happiness.

The marriage of Princess Anna of Hesse, which took place on the 12th of May, was a cause of great rejoicing to the family.

During the first months of the year the Prince and Princess paid several short visits to Gotha, Carlsruhe, and Munich, and in the summer spent three happy months in England.

On their return to Germany they received numerous guests at Kranichstein. But in spite of the many social duties and distractions in which the Princess took an active part, she never lost sight of more serious duties and pursuits. She became the “Protectress” of the “Heidenreich Institution for Lying-in Women,” which was the beginning of the active interest afterward taken by her in all sanitary improvements. This interest was heightened by the birth of her second daughter, who was born on the 1st of November, 1864, and christened on the 28th of that month, receiving the names of Elizabeth Alexandra Louise Alice. The Princess was very proud of being able to nurse her child herself, and from this time she took up with the keenest interest all questions relating to the physical, mental, and moral training of children. She found an able supporter and independent adviser in Dr. Weber, a very eminent medical man, resident at Darmstadt.

January 5th.

* * * The cold here is awful. I skated yesterday, and to-day we are
going to the pond at Kranichstein. (Very few people skate
here--only one lady, and she very badly.) Baby only goes out for
half an hour in the middle of the day, well wrapped up. It would
not do to keep her quite at home, as she would become so sensitive
when first taken out again. Of course when it is windy or too cold
she stops in.

January 9th.

I was aghast on receiving of Bertie’s telegram this morning
announcing the birth of their little son. Oh, may dear Papa’s
blessing rest on the little one; may it turn out like dear Papa,
and be a comfort and a pride to you, and to its young parents! Your
first English grandchild. Dear Mama, my heart is so full. May dear
Alix and the baby only go on well!

January 16th.

* * * Baby says “Papa,” “Mama,” and yesterday several times
“Louis.” She imitates every thing she hears, all noises and sounds;
she gets on her feet alone by a chair, and is across the room
before one can turn round. Her adoration for Louis is touching. She
stops always, since the summer, alone in our room, so she never
cries for Moffat [her nurse], and is very happy on the floor with
her play-things. She is a very dear little thing and gets on very
fast, but equally in all things, and is as fat as she was. It is so
interesting to watch the progress and development of such a little
being; and baby is so expressive, she makes such a face when she is
not pleased, and laughs so heartily when she is contented. She is
more like a child of two years old a great deal.

GOTHA, January 22d.

After a very cold journey we arrived here on Wednesday afternoon. I
found dear uncle and aunt well, Leopoldine (who is very dear and
nice) and Hermann,[38] Edward and Marie Leiningen, and Prince
Lowenstein here. Only Hermann and Leopoldine live in the Castle
besides us; the others are all at uncle’s house.

January 30th.

* * * These poor Schleswig-Holsteiners do what they can to liberate
themselves from the Danish yoke, and to regain their lawful
sovereign, Fritz. And why is England, who stands up for freedom of
countries, who in Italy, where there was less cause, did what she
could to liberate the country from her lawful sovereigns, to do
what she can to prevent the Schleswig-Holsteiners from liberating
themselves from a king who has no right over them, merely because
they are unfortunate good-natured Germans, who allow themselves to
be oppressed?

February 5th.

In the distance, dear Mama, one really cannot judge correctly of
reasons for or against things, when one does not exactly know how
every thing stands.

February 14th.

* * * We have been in sledges to-day, and everybody drives about
the town with them; it sounds so pretty, all the jingling bells.

* * * Shakespeare’s words came home to him--

Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.

Thank God, my husband has none! I thank the Almighty daily for our
peaceful homely life, in which sphere we can do a good deal of good
to our fellow-creatures, without having to mix in those hateful
politics.

Our life is a very, very happy one. I have nothing on earth to wish
for, and much as I loved my precious Louis when I married him,
still more do I love him now and daily; for his character is worthy
of love and respect, and a better husband or father, a more
unselfish and kind one, there does not live. His love for you, you
know; and on our return how glad we shall be to be near you once
more.

February 16th.

Louis is in the Chamber to-day from nine till one, long enough at a
stretch, and immediately after breakfast. We always breakfast at
eight; then Louis sees the three officers who come every morning on
his military business, then Westerweller and all others who have
business. We usually walk before luncheon, which is at twelve; and
often drive at two or three. At five we dine; at half-past six,
theatre, four times a week, till half-past nine; then we take tea
together, Louis reads to me, and I work. On other week-days there
are concerts or parties. We are often in our new house, and in the
garden, arranging things and watching the progress. We also go to
lectures here, and are much occupied, which makes the day pass so
quickly.

March 1st.

I have learned much since I married, and, above all, not to be
dependent on others in my existence. To be able to make a bright
and comfortable home for my dear husband is my constant aim; but
even in this one often fails, for self constantly turns up, like a
bad sixpence. Oh, how dear Papa spoke about that! His whole noble
life was that one bright example of sacrificing himself to his
duty. Dear, adored Papa! such goodness, such love, when one thinks
of it, must silence all complaints of petty troubles in the mouths
of his children and servants. You, dear Mama, are the one who
suffers the most, though this awful loss has touched all; and to
soothe your grief and to help you lightens one’s own.

March 5th.

* * * Spring always makes me so _wehmüthig_ [sad], I don’t know
why; one longs for every thing and any thing which is out of one’s
reach.