Chapter VI: Part 6

After the close of the war, those at the head of the committee (or Society) made themselves responsible, so far as lay in their power, for the wounded and disabled, and for the families of those who had fallen in the war. It was, however, felt to be very desirable that other committees should be formed throughout the country for the purpose of training specially-qualified nurses.

The Princess was deeply interested in this question--indeed, her whole attention had been directed to it since the beginning of the war, after she had seen what was done in Baden under the direction of the Grand Duchess. She had also before her the example of Florence Nightingale, and the good she had done during and after the Crimean war. The Princess was naturally fond of nursing, and of all that had to do with it, and she therefore eagerly took up the idea of founding a Frauen-Verein, or “Ladies’ Union”--an idea which, under her auspices, was soon most successfully carried out.

She wished lay women and ladies of all classes to join in this undertaking, so that the nursing should not be confined, as heretofore, to religious orders only. After much consultation a committee was formed in 1867, consisting of six ladies and four doctors, with the Princess as President. The central committee of the “Ladies’ Union” was to be at Darmstadt, under the Princess’ direction. The other committees spread over the whole country. Its object was to assist “the nursing and supporting of the troops in times of war,” and in times of peace to “train nurses, to assist other hospitals, or amongst the poor, or to nurse the rich”--in fact, to help wherever help was required. In 1868 the members belonging to the “Ladies’ Union” had greatly increased, and in 1869 they reached the number of 2,500.

The duties of the local committees consisted in collecting money and all necessary materials for the wounded or for the troops on the march. The central committee did its best in times of peace to direct the general attention to this most important question by lectures on the subject, delivered by medical men.

At the time the Princess started this undertaking she was also much occupied with another all-engrossing subject--viz.: the improvement of the condition of poor unmarried women and girls, as well as the education of girls in general. The Princess found an able assistant in Fräulein Louise Büchner--a most distinguished authoress, and the champion of women’s rights, more particularly of the higher education of women.

With her help the Princess formed another committee for the encouragement of “Female Industry.” A permanent Bazaar was established on the 25th of November, 1867, called after the Princess, “The Alice Bazaar,” for the purpose of receiving and disposing of articles of needlework at their proper value, and also for obtaining employment for women of all classes. The “Bazaar” soon became a flourishing institution.

At the beginning of the year 1867 the Prince and Princess went to Gotha, where they met the Crown Prince and Princess of Prussia for the first time since the war. They then went for a few weeks to Berlin. After the threatening rumors of war caused by the Luxembourg question had been dispersed, the Emperor Napoleon invited all the Sovereigns and Princes of Europe to visit the great International Exhibition at Paris. Prince and Princess Louis, amongst others, accepted the invitation, and were at Paris at the same time as the Emperor of Russia, the King of Prussia, and the Crown Prince and Princess of Prussia. The Prince and Princess visited many other places of interest and note at Paris besides the great Exhibition. All institutions for art had a great attraction for her, and she took up the idea most warmly of founding Schools of Design in her own country, as she hoped they would exercise a good influence there.

During the Prince and Princess’ visit the great review of the Imperial troops in the Bois de Boulogne took place; and on that day, too, the happily unsuccessful attempt on the Emperor of Russia’s life was made.

After attending all the festivities at the Imperial Court, where the Prince and Princess received every possible attention and kindness from the Emperor and Empress, they left Paris on the 10th of June, and, having met their children at Calais, crossed over to England. During this stay in England the Princess visited the German and many other Hospitals, and she also assisted in doing the honors for the Queen at several Court festivities. She was present at Windsor and Osborne during the visits of the Sultan, who had been so cordially received in England, and in whose honor a great naval review at Spithead was held.

Prince and Princess Louis returned to Darmstadt in the first days of August; and, having established their children there, they left for St. Moritz in the Engadine, where they intended to spend a month, and where the Princess was to take the baths.

Whilst there they made several excursions, travelling about quite simply, like any other tourists.

On their return to Germany, the Prince and Princess spent a few days with the Grand Duke and Grand Duchess of Baden on the island of Mainau on the Lake of Constance. During the autumn the Princess met several of her own brothers and sisters. She also went to Cassel to meet the Crown Prince and Princess of Prussia, who were returning from a visit to England.

GOTHA, January 15th.

* * * It is a great happiness to be with dear Vicky and Fritz, and
the future--that which is to be feared, that which must inevitably
come--is of course our constant talk. Whatever comes, our position,
and that of other small sovereigns, must undergo a change, which
for the older ones will be very hard, and which they will ever
feel. Even dear Louis, who is so sensible and reasonable, says he
has been brought up with particular rights, which for centuries
have been ours, and he feels sore that he is never to inherit them.

Dear aunt seems very well, and is ever like a second mother to us,
so loving and kind; also dear uncle. Papa’s and your children are
dear to him almost as though they were his own; and he lives to see
us with our families and in our homes, whereas darling Papa does
not. Yesterday the _Braut von Messina_ was given--that beautiful
piece which Papa was so fond of. I thought so much of you.

On Thursday Vicky and Fritz go to Berlin. We remain here until
Sunday afternoon, as on Sunday is the Ordensfest; and as many will
be decorated who fought against us, Louis thought it better to
arrive after the ceremony. Hermann is here still. He has been to
see Feo,[70] who has been very ill. Fritz William [the Crown
Prince] saw Ada and Fritz Holstein at Carlsruhe, and Fritz and Anna
of Hesse--all four turned out of their countries. * * *

I am delighted to hear of dear Arthur having passed so good an
examination. How proud you must be of him! And the good Major,[71]
who has spared no pains, I know--how pleased he must be! Arthur has
a uniform now, I suppose.

BERLIN, January 26th.

* * * We remain here a little longer, probably until the following
Saturday, as the King, owing to his cold, could not see us often,
and begged us to remain longer.

I saw Amalie Lauchert[72] here two days ago, looking so well, and
charming as ever.

Little Vicky is such a darling, very like her poor little
brother--so merry, so good, one never hears her cry--and it is
really a comfort to Vicky to have that dear little thing. Poor
Vicky is very sad and low at times.

After intense cold it is quite warm, like spring, which is very
unwholesome and tiring.

DARMSTADT, February 16th.

* * * I think I can understand what you must feel. I know well what
those first three years were--what fearful suffering, tearing and
uprooting those feelings which had been centred in beloved Papa’s
existence! It is indeed, as you say “in mercy,” that after the long
storm a lull and calm ensues, though the violent pain, which is but
the reverse side of the violent love, seems only to die out with
it, and that is likewise bitter. Yet, beloved Mama, could it be
otherwise? There would be no justice or mercy, were the first stage
of sorrow to be the perpetual one; and God grant, that time may
still soothe and alleviate that which it cannot change! I can only
imagine what the loss must be, if I measure it by the possession of
that one adored being, who is the centre and essence of my
existence.

DARMSTADT, February 28th.

* * * Yesterday we had a very interesting lecture in our house
about Art in Venice, by a young Swede [Herr von Molin], who has
been studying three years in Italy. We had the room full of people,
artists, and professors, who liked to listen.

* * * All the natural cleverness and sharpness in the world won’t
serve nowadays, unless one has learnt something. I feel this so
much; and just in our position it is more and more required and
expected, particularly in a small place, where so much depends on
the personal knowledge and exertions of the Princes.

DARMSTADT, March 8th.

* * * The knowledge of dear sweet Alix’s state makes me too sad. It
is hard for them both, and the nursing must be very fatiguing for
Mrs. Clarke. I am so distressed about darling Alix that I really
have no peace. It may, and probably will, last long, which is so
dreadful.[73]

March 28th.

* * * We mean to have some children on the 5th, so that Victoria
can have a party.

My father-in-law is better again, I am happy to say. The warm
weather did him good at once.

DARMSTADT, April 1st.

* * * I could not write the other day, as I had a good deal to do
with two committees for charities, which had to be got into order,
and which took up a great deal of my time.

Cold, hail, snow, and rain, have returned; and Irène has got a
cold, which most people here have. The weather is so unpleasant.

We shall stop here in town until we go to England, as we have
nowhere to go to before. It is a pity for the children to have no
country air, and they miss the flowers in their walks. I can’t
praise Orchard[74] enough. Such order she keeps, and is so
industrious and tidy, besides understanding so much about the
management of the children’s health and characters.

DARMSTADT, April 5th.

Thousand thanks for your dear letter, and for the kind wishes for
Victoria’s birthday! I pray she may be a worthy granddaughter and
goddaughter of my darling Mamma! I shall never forget that
day--your kindness to us, and the tender nurse you were. * * *

Victoria means to dictate a letter to you; she is so much pleased
with her presents. Irène has not a tooth yet, and is not very fat,
poor little thing! but she is fresh and rosy, and, I think, strong.

This last week the excitement here has been dreadful, as all
anticipated a war with France on account of Luxembourg. I fear
sooner or later it will come. May the Almighty avert such a
calamity!

The Moriers were quite in ecstasies about your handsome present.
The christening[75] went off very well.

April 8th.

* * * We have just returned from church, and to-morrow morning we
all take the Sacrament at nine o’clock in the Schlosskirche.
Professor Jowett is here on a visit to the Moriers, and is going to
read the service on Sunday. I have not had an opportunity to attend
our English service since we were at Windsor, excepting one Sunday
at Berlin with Vicky and Fritz.

People think now, the evil of war is put off for a few weeks, but
that is all. Henry is here for Easter, and says the same from all
he heard at Berlin.

April 21st.

* * * How I wish you may be right in _not_ believing in war. I
always fear it is not Luxembourg, but the intense jealousy of the
French nation, that they should not be the first on the Continent,
and that Germany is becoming independent and powerful against their
will. Then, again, the Germans feel their new position, and assert
their rights with more force because unanimous, and neither nation
will choose to give in to the other.

The war would be totally useless, and sow no end of dissension and
hatred between the two neighbor countries, who, for their own good
as for that of mankind, ought to live in peace and harmony with
each other.

We seem drifting back to the Middle Ages, as each question is
pushed to the point of the sword. It is most sad. How dear Papa
would have disapproved of much that has happened since 1862!

Is the Catalogue which Mr. Ruland sent some time ago to Mr.
Woodward for dear Papa’s Raphael Collection in print now?[76] So
many people know of its coming out, and are anxious to see it, as,
indeed, I am likewise, for it is the only complete collection in
the world, and the world of art is anxious to know all about it.
Will you, perhaps, let me know through Mr. Sahl,[77] as I believe
it is already a good while since you approved of its being
published, and gave the orders for its being printed?

May 2d.

As yet none dare to be sure of the peace, but all live again since
there are more chances for its being maintained. But, then, I trust
it will be a permanent peace, not merely a putting off till next
year!

The French press was so very warlike, and it always talks of the
French honor not being able to allow such a mighty empire as the
German is becoming to gain the upper hand; and then rectification
of her frontiers, always wishing for the Rhine.

Poor little Anna of Mecklenburg is here; it seemed so sad to see
the dear little child come alone to inhabit the rooms its Mama had
never returned to. She looks delicate, very fair, but with dark,
thick eyebrows and eyelashes; rather shy and silent for she has no
little children to play with in her home. My two led her about at
once, and tried to amuse her. Ella, who is five months older, is a
head taller and twice as broad. I am so afraid they will be too
rough with her, for dear, fat Ella is very strong, and by no means
gentle.

Annchen has an old nervous nurse, who is too frightened about her.
It is a great responsibility, where there is no mother. It looks so
sad!

May 13th.

I must tell you something in confidence of what has taken place
here with regard to Louis. * * * Since Louis took the command last
August, and since the Convention with Prussia has been settled,
Louis has been opposed by Uncle Louis and the _Kriegsministerium_
[War Department], in doing all the things which he thought
absolutely necessary, and which toward Prussia the Grand Duke had
promised to do, so as to get the troops into the necessary order
and organization. Here the Government is, Louis has reason to fear,
once more playing a false game toward Prussia, and all his true
friends and a small party of the clever-thinking people have
encouraged him in the idea that to serve his country, he _may_ and
_must_ not be implicated in the present sad and desperate state of
affairs.

It has cost him a great struggle to make up his mind to ask Uncle
Louis to accept his resignation, which he has been obliged to
demand, as he felt that under present circumstances he could not
fulfil what was desired of him.

Uncle Louis may refuse to let him go; then he intends to ask for
leave until the 1st of October, the date when the Convention must
be carried out, when he hopes and trusts the King will send a
Prussian general to put all in order.

Uncle Louis and his _Umgebung_ [the people about him] will all be
against my Louis, as they think it a shame and injustice to give up
any of their rights, and that it is unpardonable of Louis to act up
to what he has always said. He is so good a nephew, that all this
will be dreadfully painful to him; but he is quite convinced that
his duty to his country and his future demands this step of him. He
is obliged to go away from here, as he does not think it right for
him to be always in opposition to Uncle Louis, and as he cannot
gain by it what the country and the troops require. On account of
all these reasons he considers it right to leave.

He wished me to write all this to you, as he knows you will
understand and not disapprove the confidence he bestows on one, on
whose opinion he quite relies. He looks forward so much to coming
to England, as he is worried and harassed by all that has happened.
In all this he has again shown, as of old, that he always places
_himself_ and his _wishes_ and _feelings_ in the background, and
that to serve others and to do his duty are the sole aims of his
existence. He will, as soon as he has received an answer from the
Grand Duke, telegraph to you to settle our plans. The children are
overjoyed at the prospect of seeing their dear Grandmama again.

I am not up to very much, I don’t always feel quite strong; but the
change will do me good, I am sure.

May 16th.

The Grand Duke has not as yet consented to Louis’ resignation.
Louis has made conditions, under which it will be possible for him
to remain, if Uncle L. consents. The first condition is to have a
Prussian officer at his side. The Grand Duke declared he would
sooner lose his country than give his consent to that. Louis has
now officially written his letter of requirements, and sent it.
But, whatever happens, he will be able to get a short leave, he
thinks, by the beginning of June.

May 19th.

The military affair is at length settled. Uncle Louis has given in
to the points Louis demanded, and he retains his command. All are
astonished at Louis’ unlooked-for success in this affair, and as
Uncle L. would not have a Prussian General, and had no one here to
take in Louis’ stead, who could do the things well, he had to agree
and to allow what Louis was justified in asking. Louis’ firmness
and decision have done great good, and all are thankful to him for
it, though others, who ought to do as he has done, have never shown
the courage.

Louis is laid up with the most awful nettle-rash all over face and
body, and is so unwell with it. He has had it now three days.
Altogether since the winter, or rather since the war, he has had so
much cause for vexation, that he has been constantly unwell; and
each time he is much worried he has an attack of illness.

May 29th.

* * * I presided at my committee of seven ladies and four
gentlemen a long while yesterday, and to-morrow I have my other
one, which is more numerous. It is an easy task, but I hope we
shall have good results from our endeavors.

PARIS, June 9th.

I really am half killed from sight-seeing and fêtes, but all has
interested me so much, and the Emperor and Empress [of the French]
have been most kind. Yesterday was the ball at the Hôtel de Ville,
quite the same as it had been for you and dear Papa, and there were
more than 8,000 people there. It was the finest sight I have ever
seen, and it interested me all the more, as I knew it was the same
as in the year when you were at Paris.

Every morning we went to the Exhibition, and every evening there
was a dinner or ball. It was most fatiguing. To-morrow morning we
leave, and had really great trouble to get away, for the Emperor
and Empress and others begged us so much to remain for the ball at
the Tuileries to-morrow night; but we really could not, on account
of Wednesday’s concert,[78] as we should barely arrive in time.

The _attentat_ on the Emperor of Russia was dreadful, and we were
close by at the time. The Empress can’t get over it, and she does
not leave Uncle Sache’s[79] side for an instant now, and takes him
everywhere in her carriage.

To-day we are going with the whole Court to Versailles. Dear Vicky
is gone. She was so low the last days, and dislikes going to
parties so much just now, that she was longing to get home. The
King [of Prussia] wished them both to stop, but only Fritz
remained. How sad these days will be for her, poor love! She was
in such good looks; every one here is charmed with her.

* * * * *

[During the months of June and July, 1867, the Princess with her family was on a visit in England.]

* * * * *

DARMSTADT, August 4th.

We arrived here at midnight on Friday and I was so knocked up * * *
that I was incapable of doing any thing yesterday.

* * * My poor Willem[80] was buried yesterday. Every one regrets
the poor child, for he was very dear. I miss him so much here, for
he did every thing for me, and liked being about me and the
children. All our servants went to the burial. It quite upset me
here not to find him, for I was really attached to him, and he
learnt so well, and was in many ways so nice, though of course
troublesome too at times. How short life is, and the instant one is
gone, he is so wiped away for others, and one knows _so_ absolutely
_nothing_ about the person any more! Were it not for a strong faith
in a future, it would indeed be cruel to bear. No one of the family
is here. We leave to-morrow for Zürich, where we shall be at ten at
night; the next day to Chur, and the next day to St. Moritz.

ST. MORITZ, August 1st.

With perfect weather we accomplished our journey perfectly, and
were enchanted with the beautiful scenery from Zürich here, not to
speak of this place.

The first day--5th--we left Darmstadt at 11 A.M., and did not reach
Zürich till eleven at night. We got two little rooms in the Hôtel
Baur, but the whole place was full. The next morning after
breakfast we went to look at the lovely lake, which is green and
quite transparent. It was a beautiful warm morning. We left by rail
at ten, partly along the lake of Zürich and then along the
Wallenstädter See, which is long and narrow, with high
perpendicular mountains down to the water--very wild and
picturesque. This lake likewise is of that marvellous green color.
We reached Chur at three that afternoon--a pretty small town,
situated close up against a mountain. We visited a beautiful old
church there, which contains fine old pictures and relics; it was
built in the time of the Romans, and is still the chief church of
the bishopric.

The next morning we two, with Sarah, Logoz and our footman, left at
six o’clock in a diligence (we both sitting in the coupé in front)
with four horses, for here the road is the grandest one can
imagine, perpetually ascending for two hours, and then descending
again, always along precipices, and the horses at a quick trot
turning sharp round the corners--which, I assure you is a trial to
the best nerves. We drove over the Julier Pass, which was a road
already used by the Romans, and which is almost the highest in
Switzerland. One passes close to the top of the mountains, which
have snow on them, and are wild and rugged like the top of
Lochnagar. Lower down, the mountains are covered with bright green
grass and fir trees, but rocks look out everywhere, and there are
constantly lovely water-falls.

After crossing the Pass, we drove down--very steep, of course
nothing on the edge of the road, always zigzag, and at a sharp
trot--for some distance down to Silva Plana, where the view over
the valley and lakes of the Engadine, where St. Moritz lies, is
beyond description beautiful.

We reach this in the evening at six o’clock, the weather being most
beautiful. The Curhaus is below the town, and looks like a large
asylum. It is overfilled with people. We have two rooms, but our
people as yet, none, though they hope for some to-morrow.

I saw Dr. Berry, a little Swiss man, and he recommended me to take
the baths twice a week, besides drinking the waters; which I have
begun this morning at seven o’clock, the usual hour, as one has to
walk up and down a quarter of an hour between the glasses. The bath
I took at ten. It is tepid and also iron water, which bubbles like
soda water, and makes one feel as if insects were crawling over
one.

Lina Aumale is here, the Parises and Nemours. Fritz and Louise [of
Baden] leave to-morrow. This afternoon we drove with them, in two
funny little “Wageli” with one horse, to Samaden, where Louise went
into the hotel to see Mme. d’Usedom, who was lately upset with her
carriage off the road, as there is no barrier, and hurt herself
severely. We saw her brother likewise.

I have sent you a nosegay of Edelweiss and other Alp flowers. I
hope it won’t arrive quite dead. You must fancy them alive, and, if
they could speak, they would tell you how much I love you, and how
constantly I think of you, and of my dear, dear home!

ST. MORITZ, August 11th.

* * * All the Orleans’ left this place suddenly yesterday, as there
are three cases of scarlatina in the house. We consulted the doctor
immediately, whether he thought it safe for Louis to remain, he
never having had it, and he said, “Perfectly, as we are at the
other end of the house, and out nearly all day.”

Victor and Lolo [Count and Countess Gleichen] are here, and we went
out drawing together yesterday; but it is too difficult here. I
think constantly how much you would admire this place: it is indeed
exquisitely beautiful--much the finest I have ever seen. It is very
wild and reminds me in parts of dear Scotland.

You say that our home in England is dull now for those who like to
amuse themselves. It is _never_ dull, darling Mama, when one can be
with you, for I have indeed never met a more agreeable charming
companion. Time always flies by when one is with you. I hope it is
not impertinent my saying so.

ST. MORITZ, August 13th.

* * * I knew you would feel for me at the loss of my poor Willem.
Of course one must feel that sort of loss more than that of many a
relation, if one knew the latter but little. I said to Louis at the
time, that Willem’s death distressed me more than would that of
several relations who were not intimate with me. * * *

Yesterday we and the Gleichens went to the Rosegg Glacier, and to
get there had to go from Pontresina in little _Bergwagen_, which
are strong miniature _Leiterwagen_ without springs, and we went
over a horrid path with quantities of stones, so the shaking was
beyond description.

Victor and Lolo go mostly with us and we always dine together.

I take three glasses beginning at seven in the morning, and a bath
at eight. One lies in a wooden thing, covered over up to one’s chin
with boards, and remains so twenty minutes.

We lunch at twelve and dine at half-past six, and go to bed early.
We are out nearly all day long. It is very warm, the sun scorching;
my face is quite red-brown, in spite of veils and parasols. I feel
already very much better, and Louis says my face is quite fat. I
wish we could remain longer than the end of the month, but Louis
must be home.

I hope you notice the pains I take with my writing, for you
complained of it at Osborne--I fear, justly--and I am trying to
improve it again.

ST. MORITZ, August 16th.

Yesterday we made a beautiful expedition, which it may amuse you to
hear of, as in an exaggerated way it reminded me of our nice Scotch
ones. The evening before we left with Victor and Lolo (without
servants) about eight o’clock for Pontresina. The country looked
more beautiful than ever in the brightest moonlight. We found two
very small but clean rooms in an hotel outside the village.

The next morning we got up at half-past four, dressed, and
breakfasted, then got on four horses with most uncomfortable
saddles, with our guide Adam Engler, an amusing man, most active
and helpful. We saw the sun rising over the snow-covered mountains,
and the valleys gradually coming out clearer.

We were to ascend the Piz Languard, a mountain 1,200 feet high. We
rode for two hours by a worse and much steeper road than up the
Glassalt, then walked over rocks, sand, and slippery grass, so
steep that one could not look up to see where one was going to,
quite precipitous on each side, leaving snow and glacier below us.
The last bit has a sort of immensely high steps hewn in the rock.
After an hour and a half’s hard labor we reached the summit, which
is rocky and small--enormous precipices all round. Poor Lolo was
giddy for some time, which was very unpleasant. The view from the
top is most extensive. The Italian, Swiss, and Tyrolese Alps are
all to be seen, but the view was not very clear. We rested and ate
something, and drank some Lochnagar whisky. The sun was getting
intense. We commenced our descent at eleven o’clock, and had to
walk the whole way back, for one can’t ride down. We did not reach
Pontresina till nearly four, as we had to rest several times, our
limbs ached so, for there is no level ground the whole way, and the
stones slip, and it was very hot. I had quite sore feet with
blisters all over, so that the last hours were really agonizing.
But it is a thing to have done, and the view amply repaid one,
though one does not feel tempted to do it a second time. I feel
very well, excepting my face, (which is still burning and quite
red), and my unfortunate feet.

Poor Christa wrote to me yesterday, and says:--

“I must also tell your Royal Highness that I have received a letter
in her own hand from Her Majesty the Queen. I cannot express how
deeply this has moved me and filled me with gratitude. God bless
the Queen for her rare human love; for surely there is no one, who
in such a position as hers, has preserved a heart like hers, so
full of kindness and sympathy for others.”[81]

Dear sweet Mama, your kind and sisterly words have been balsam to
many a wounded heart, and many are the blessings that have been
craved for you from above by hearts filled with thankfulness for
your true sympathy.

ST. MORITZ, August 21st.

* * * Now I will tell you of our expedition. Louis and I, Victor
and Lolo, and a guide, with each a small bag, left this early on
the morning of the 17th (dear Grandmama’s birthday) in a carriage
for Pontresina; from thence, in two of those shaky _Bergwagen_,
over part of the Bernina Pass, past the magnificent Morteratsch
Glacier, which we saw perfectly. The guide told us he had been
there with Professor Tyndall, and that the latter had observed that
the glacier advanced a foot a day in the warm weather, and old
people recollect it having been a mile higher up. We soon left the
high-road, and all vegetation, save grass, for a bad path into the
Val da Fain. The heat was again intense. We lunched and rested, and
then took the horses out of the carts for us ladies to ride. The
scenery was wild and severe, until we began again to descend, and
came down upon the lovely Livigno Valley, which is Italian, and
covered with brown châlets. We reached the village of Livigno, with
only wooden huts, by six o’clock, and turned into a funny little
dark inn, in which we four found one small but clean room for
us--most primitive. As the inhabitants speak a sort of Italian, we
had the greatest difficulty to make ourselves understood. Victor
cooked part of the dinner, and it was quite good.

We all slept--I resting _on_ a bed, the other three on the
floor--in this little room, with the small window wide open.

The next morning we left at nine, and drove on no road in such a
small carriage--of course, no springs--our husbands at first
getting a lift on the horses, without saddles; then on foot up a
steep and dangerous ascent. Splendid weather, but too hot. We went
over the Pass of the Stretta: a more difficult and rough ground I
never crossed in my life, but splendid scenery. We came on a view
which was glorious--such enormous snow-covered mountains and
glaciers, with the green valleys deep below looking on Italy and
the Tyrol.

We reached Bormio by seven, and took up our residence at a
bathing-place, quite magnificently situated, very high up--also
Italian. The next morning we started early in carriages, and went
over the Stelvio Pass. There, nearly at the risk of my neck, I
picked for the first time some Edelweiss, which I am very proud of,
as it is always difficult and rare to get.

We got down to St. Maria, which is at the upper end of the
Münsterthal and belongs to Switzerland. In the afternoon,
dreadfully hot, I was very thirsty and drank off a glass of milk;
but how it tasted! It was goat’s milk; the people keep the cow’s
milk for butter and cheese. We remained the night there, and left
the next morning for here, by Zernetz and Ofen. To get from one
valley into another, one has always to ascend and descend enormous
heights, and always by narrow paths at the edge of precipices. We
enjoyed our tour immensely, and got on perfectly without servants.
Packing up my things, though, every morning was a great trouble,
and the bag would usually not shut at first. The trees growing here
are splendid larches and arven[82]; the latter grow only in these
very high regions and in Siberia. Victor and his wife are most
amiable and pleasant travelling-companions, and pleased with every
thing; not minding to rough it, which we had to do.

SCHLOSS MAINAU, August 30th.

* * * We left St. Moritz at seven, and reached Chur at seven in the
evening. The next day we came on here to Louise of Baden. Fritz is
at Carlsruhe. This place is very lovely, though, alas! the fine
mountains are gone, which one always misses so much.

I thought of you more than I can say on the dear 26th, and I felt
low and sad all day. Dear Papa! Time has not yet accustomed us to
see each anniversary come round again, and he still remain away. It
is so inexpressibly hard for you, and you must feel such intense
longing for the dear past. There remains a future! that is the only
consolation.

To-day we went with Louise by carriage, and then across part of the
lake to the property of the Emperor Napoleon, Arenenberg, which the
Empress gave him eight years ago, and which was his home with his
mother, and where she died. Every picture and bit of furniture is
replaced as it was when the Emperor lived there, and he was there
himself and replaced every thing. It is quite a page in history to
see all the things that surrounded the Emperor in the days of his
misfortune.

DARMSTADT, September 8th.

* * * I spent three days and two nights with dear Alix at
Wiesbaden, and I find her leg decidedly better. * * * It is a
little less hot to-day, but much hotter even now than we ever have
in England. Stallmeister Meyer[83] came to see us yesterday, and we
took him out riding, which made him quite happy. Any one who
reminds me of the good old times before the 14th of December does
me good; it is a pleasure to speak about those past, so happy
days! When they came to a close, I lost the greater part of my
joyousness, which, though I am so happy, has never returned. A
certain melancholy and sadness sometimes overcome me, which I can’t
shake off; then I have _Heimweh_ after adored Papa to such an
extent that tears are my only relief.

DARMSTADT, September 20th.

* * * The King of Prussia’s visit went off very well here, and both
high personages seemed pleased to have got over the meeting. The
King came most kindly to see us, and went over all our rooms, which
seemed to amuse him. * * * Yesterday evening Sache and Minnie[84]
arrived, and we intend going over to see them all to-morrow.

Louis will retain the command, but, according to the King’s advice,
has demanded a Prussian General Stabschef [Chief of the Staff],
which will be a great assistance to him.

At the sale of the Homburg things I bought a lovely miniature of
dear Grandmama in a black velvet gown, with a red shawl over her
shoulder--shortly after her marriage, I think.

DARMSTADT, October 3d.

Yesterday evening I returned from Wiesbaden, leaving Alix well, but
having caught a bad cold myself. The children have equally heavy
ones.

DARMSTADT, October 8th.

Many thanks for your letter just received, and for the review of
dear Papa’s Life, which is excellent, and which I sent on to Aunt
Feodore, as you desired. I have been laid up for a week with
influenza, and am only about again since yesterday, though not out
of the house. I am quite weak from it. The whole house is laid up
with bad colds, and baby can’t shake her’s off at all. The cough is
so tiring, and she whoops whenever she coughs. Poor Jäger, who is,
alas! we fear, consumptive, broke a blood-vessel two days ago, and
is dangerously ill, to the great grief of all in the house. He is
our best servant, and so devoted; he never would take care of
himself, as he could not bear letting any one but himself attend on
Louis. We have just got a _Diakonissin_ [Deaconness] to nurse him;
on account of his great weakness he can’t be left alone one
instant.

Sir William, Lady, and Charlotte Knollys have been on a visit to
us; also Lady Geraldine Somerset for two nights. They are all
interested to see our house.

Uncle George has made me a present of one of the horses the Sultan
sent him.

DARMSTADT, October 10th.

I can’t find words to say how sorry I am that dear sweet Arthur
should have the small-pox! and that you should have this great
anxiety and worry. God grant that the dear boy may get well over
it, and that his dear handsome face be not marked! Where in the
world could he have caught it? The Major kindly telegraphs daily,
and you can fancy, far away, how anxious one is. I shall be very
anxious to get a letter with accounts, for I think constantly of
him, and of you. My parents-in-law wish me to tell you how they
share your anxiety, and how they wish soon to hear of dear Arthur’s
convalescence; of course my Louis likewise, for he shares all my
feelings, being a real brother towards my _Geschwister_ [brothers
and sisters].

We both paid the King of Prussia our respects at Frankfort this
morning, principally to tell him that Bertie had been so grieved
at the ill success of his intended visit, as the Queen begged us to
do.

I am better to-day, but Ella and Irène can’t shake off their colds,
and poor Ella is altogether unwell. Victoria is all right.

We are going on the 18th to Baden for Fritz’s birthday.

DARMSTADT, October 14th.

How glad I am to see by your letter that darling Arthur is going on
so very well. One can’t be too thankful; and it is a good thing
over, and will spare one’s being anxious about him on other
occasions.

Bertie and Alix have been here since Saturday afternoon, and leave
to-morrow. They go straight to Antwerp, and Bertie is going back to
Brussels to see the cousins.

The visit of the King went off very well, and Alix was pleased with
the kindness and civility of the King. I hear that the meeting was
satisfactory to both parties, which I am heartily glad of. Bearing
ill-will is always a mistake, besides its not being right.

Dear Alix walked up our staircase with two sticks, of course very
slowly, but she is improving wonderfully, though her knee is quite
stiff.

Poor Jäger is a little better, and the momentary danger is past,
though I fear he cannot ultimately recover. How hard for poor
Katrinchen! There is much sorrow in the world, and how often such a
share falls to the best and gentlest! I, of course, go to see him
daily, but it always goes to my very heart to see that attached and
faithful creature dying slowly away. How is Brown’s sister?

We hope that Countess Blücher will return here with Vicky and me
from Baden for a few days, as it is an age since Vicky has seen
her.

Dear Alix is writing in my room at this moment, and is so dear and
sweet. She is a most lovable creature.

DARMSTADT, October 23d.

I have had the pleasure of having Augusta and the Dean [Stanley]
here since yesterday, but they leave again this morning.

The King of Prussia is here to-day, and there is a large dinner for
him in the Schloss, and he is kind enough to come and see me
afterward.

The accounts of poor dear Aunt Feodore are so sad, and I hear she
does not look well, and is so low about her eyes and being unable
to see you again after so long a separation. She seems alone and
lonely, with old age and sickness coming over her. If I had been
well, I should have gone to see her. I am much better these last
days. I can breathe much better, but the dreadfully swelled ankles
and wrists remain as bad as before, and cause great discomfort and
even pain. I never had this before.

SCHWEINSBERG, October 24th.

Dear Vicky and Fritz left us yesterday morning. It is such a
pleasure to me to think that they, like Bertie and Alix, know my
house, and that they have lodged under our roof. When will you,
darling Mama? If ever again you go abroad and wish to rest on your
way, all in the world we have is at your disposal. How happy that
would make us!

We ourselves left at four yesterday afternoon, remaining the night
at Marburg, and leaving at a quarter to five in the morning, so
that Louis could reach Alsfeld in time to join the shooting-party.
We parted at Kirchhain, and I came here with Christa to her
mother’s house--so sad and changed since three years ago. It is
most kind of them to have taken me up here, and the bracing air
will do me good. They know that I can understand what a house of
mourning is, and that I don’t want to amuse myself.

Ella cried on parting with us yesterday, and wanted to get into the
train with us.

Victoria is going to have a little lesson every other day, when I
go back, from Mr. Geyer, who taught poor Willem, and who teaches
little girls particularly well. She must begin in my room, as it is
better not to have lessons in the nursery, I think. Vicky and I
spoke much together about education and taking a governess. I
thought to wait a year (for financial reasons), and I think it time
enough then--do not you?

DARMSTADT, October 26th.

* * * We arrived late at Baden, and Vicky and Fritz, who had had
two long days’ journey, were very tired; but we had to go to dress
at once, to go to a _soirée_ at Madame Viardot’s, which lasted till
midnight, and at which the King and Queen were present. Her
daughters and scholars sang a little operetta she had composed,
which was very pretty.

I hope the inauguration of the statue went off as well as the
weather would permit.

November 15th.

* * * It is so good and wholesome not always to be one’s own
master, and to have to suit one’s self to the wish of others, and,
above all, to that of one’s mother and sovereign. ---- feels it as
such, and often told me so, regretting how seldom such was the
case.

The Moriers are often with us, and we value them much; they are
such pleasant companions, and such excellent, clever people.

DARMSTADT, December 6th.

* * * The visit to Claremont must have been quite peculiar for you;
and I can fancy it bringing back to your mind the recollections of
your childhood. In spring it must be a lovely place, and, with
gayer papers on the walls, and a little modern comfort, the house
must likewise be very pleasant. Ella, who was breakfasting with me
just now, saw me dip my _Bretzel_ in my coffee, and said: “Oh,
Mama, you must not! Do you allow yourself to do that?” because I
don’t allow her to do it. She is too funny, and by no means quite
easy to manage--a great contrast to Victoria, who is a very
tractable child. Ella has a wonderful talent for sewing, and, when
she keeps quiet a little while, sews quite alone and without
mistakes. She is making something for you for Christmas, which she
is quite excited about. Victoria’s little afternoon lesson answers
admirably, and is the happiest time of the day for her. She can
read words already.

We have snow and ice, and no sunshine since some time, and it is
not inviting to take the dull walks in the town. But I make a rule
to go out twice a day, and keep nearly the same hours as at home.

The account of your visit to Lady Palmerston and to her daughter is
most touching. It is so inexpressibly sad for grandmother and
mother, for it is unnatural for parents to survive their children,
and that makes the grief a so peculiar one, and very hard to bear.

December 9th.

* * * During the long winter days, when Louis is away sometimes
four times in the week from six in the morning till six in the
evening, and then when he returns from his shooting has his work
to do, I feel lonely. I am often for several hours consecutively
quite by myself; and for my meals and walks only a lady, as she is
the only person in the house besides ourselves. It is during these
hours, when one cannot always be reading or at work, that I should
wish to have some one to go to, or to come to me to sit and speak
with; but such is not the case, and it is this I regret--accustomed
as I was to a house full of people, with brothers and sisters, and
above all, the chance of being near you. I always feel how
willingly I would spend some of those hours with or near you--and
the sea ever lies between us! When Louis is at home and free--for
in the morning I don’t see him--then I have _all_ that this world
can give me, for I am indeed never happier than at his dear side;
and time only increases our affection, and binds us closer to each
other.

We have deep snow now and sledging the last two days.

December 12th.

Before going to rest, I take up my pen to write a few loving words
that they may reach you on the morning of the 14th. The sound of
that date brings with it that sad and dreary recollection which,
for you, my poor dear Mama, and for us, time cannot alter. As long
as our lives last, this time of year must fill us with sad and
earnest feelings, and revive the pain of that bitter parting.

I ought not to dwell on those hours now, for it is wrong to open
those wounds afresh, which God in His mercy finds little ways and
means to heal and soothe the pain of.

Dear darling Papa is, and ever will be _immortal_. The good he has
done; the great ideas he has promulgated in the world; the noble
and unselfish example he has given, will live on, as I am sure he
must ever do, as one of the best, purest, most God-like men that
have come down into this world. His example will, and does,
stimulate others to higher and purer aims; and I am convinced that
darling Papa did not live in vain. His great mission was done; and
what has remained undone he has placed in your dear hands, who will
know best how to achieve his great works of love and justice. I
shall think much, very much, of you on the 14th, and you will be
more in my prayers than ever. Think also a little of your most
devoted child!

DARMSTADT, Christmas Day.

We missed poor Willem so much in arranging all the things; and poor
Jäger’s illness was also sad. We gave him a tree in his room. He
looks like a shadow, and his voice is quite hoarse.

To two hospitals, the military and the town one, I took presents
yesterday, and saw many a scene of suffering and grief. My children
are going to give a certain number of poor children a _Bescheerung_
on New Year’s Day. It is so good to teach them early to be generous
and kind to the poor. They even wish to give some of their own
things, and such as are _not_ broken.

Your many generous presents will find their use at once, and the
Christmas pie, etc., be shared by all the family. The remembrances
of those bright happy Christmases at Windsor are constantly before
me. None will ever be again what those were, without you, dear
Papa, and dear kind Grandmama.

DARMSTADT, December 27th.

* * * I am sure you will have felt under many a circumstance in
life, that if any momentary feeling was upon you, and you were
writing to some one near and dear, it did you good to put down
those feelings on paper, and that, even in the act of doing so,
when the words were barely written, the feeling had begun to die
away, and the intercourse had done you good.

1868.

Although the winter season brought many social duties with it, the Princess’ active personal attention to all those good works and institutions which she had called into existence never flagged. No subject of interest or importance escaped her, and her time was always fully occupied. In April she met the Crown Prince at Gotha, where Prince Louis also came, on his return from Munich, to fetch her. She spent the months of June and July in England with her three little girls, either at Osborne, Windsor, or in London. The return journey to Darmstadt was made by water as far as Mayence. The autumn was spent at Kranichstein, in the neighborhood of which the manœuvres of the Hessian division took place, at some of which the Princess was present.

On the 25th of November, to the great joy of the parents and the country, a son and heir was born--“a splendid boy.” At his christening, on the 28th of December, he received, at the special desire of the Grand Duke, the names Ernst Ludwig--which had been borne by so many of the old Landgraves of Hesse. The sponsors were the Queen of England and the King of Prussia.

DARMSTADT, January 24th.

* * * To-night I am going to act with two other persons in our
dining-room a pretty little piece called “Am Klavier,” but I fear I
shall be very nervous, and consequently act badly, which would be
too tiresome.

I have never tried to act in any thing since “Rothkäppchen.”

February 14th.