Chapter D: The letter D dates from about 967 B. C

Hipopotamia, one of Solomon’s many wives, having been blessed with no children, had a little pet animal, presumably much like the modern _lap dog_, of which she was very fond and was forever exclaiming of it, “Isn’t it Dear!” or “Isn’t it a Darling!” Solomon would invariably reply, “No, Dog gone it!” and sometimes even, “No, D—— it!” Then Hipopotamia would smile, disclosing two very lovely Dimples.

Realizing the usefulness of such words, Solomon created the letter D, in order to be able to spell them. In the hieroglyphics of the times it was written as this fragment will show, the form being taken from Hipopotamia’s little pet dog, Hydrophobia.

D has turned out to be one of the most useful letters in Cupid’s Alphabet, beginning as it does, Dearie, Ducky, Dreams, Delight, Determination, and Desire. But it has an unhappy side in Don’t, Disappointment, and Despair.

The girls under this letter are all Darlings. See any one of them.

DARLING. From Dearling, a little Dear—sometimes excessively
dear.

DEAR. Beloved—also expensive.

DAWN. A term for early morning, used by people who don’t have
to get up.

DEFECTS. What a woman loves a man for.

DELUSION. Hope’s dressmaker.

DESIRE. Love’s partner.

DIMPLE, _f._ A pitfall in a garden of Blush Roses.

DOGGEREL. Rhyme without reason, generally written by puppies.

DOUGH. That which is kneaded. A slang word for money.

DOVE. A tender fowl, popular both in poetry and cookery books.
When too old to roast or broil, may be served up in verse as
the emblem of conjugal love.

DREAM. _Fem._ Term used by a woman describing a hat.

_Mas._ Term describing the woman used by the man who is
destined to buy the hat.

DUEL. The highest compliment two men can pay one woman.

DUTY. A millstone sometimes mistaken by Cupid for a heart. What
we expect in others.

E

The letter E takes its shape from the Elephant, in whose symbolical anatomy it plays the most important part.

It is the belief of scientists that no animal has been responsible for more exclamations expressive of amazement than the Elephant, the presence of “E” in E jaculation, E xtraordinary, E gad, E normous, is directly traceable to the close relation of the letter to that popular pachyderm.

The girls under E, for instance, Edith, Eleanor, Elizabeth, Elsie, Emily, Emma, Esther, Eunice, Evangeline, and Evelina, are distinguished for Ease, Elegance, Excitability, and Economy, and will be most attracted in the opposite sex by Extravagance, Eccentricity, and Earlyrising.

ESCAPE. Divorce.

ETERNITY. “I’ll be down in a minute.”

EVIL. A wile of the devil.

“EVER AND FOR EVER.” The devil of a while.

EXCUSE. Self accusation.

EXPERIENCE. An expensive tutor.

EYEBROW. A mustache worn over the eye. An incentive to sonnets.

F

The form of the letter F was first discovered on an ancient fragment of pottery by a German archæologist, in the shape of a sandal on what is supposed to be the foot of Achilles. As will be seen in the accompanying cut the heel of the sandal and the part covering what is known as the “tendon of Achilles” is peculiarly designed for the protection of that part of the foot which was the only vulnerable spot in Achilles’s foot. This can at best be accepted only as an ingenious conjecture.

F girls will be Frank, Fragile, and Fastidious, and those named Fanny, Felicia, Flora, Fidelia, Florence, Frances, or Flo will find their affinities in those of the opposite sex who are Fearless, Fickle, and Fantastic.

FAINTING. (Obsolete.) A feminine manœuvre.

FASHION. _Fem._ The sum of all the virtues.

FIG, Fig Leaf. A Fall Fashion of a false modiste. See Fig. 1.

FIRST. First Love. An appetiser. First Kiss. Much has
been written about the exquisite joy of this, still it is
unsatisfying, hence the Second, the Third, etc., _ad lib._

FLIRTATION. A way for two people, who are not married to each
other, to pass the time. As a matter of fact a flirtation isn’t
anything, it’s a thing to do and is really easier to do than to
describe. There are many sorts of Flirtation. The Every-day
or Sidewalk Flirtation is the commonest kind. Other very
popular forms are the Eye, the Eyebrow, the Fan, the Glove, the
Handkerchief, and the Foot Flirtation.

A natural attribute to woman, but an easily acquired
accomplishment in man.

FOREVER. Love’s promissory note (subject to discount).

G

The present form of the letter G is derived from the ancient Babylonian symbol _Gee_. The letter in its present shape is composed of only half of the Babylonian symbol, which is properly written GG or Gee Gee (_see cut_).

When we consider that without this letter there could be no girls in the world, we should be thankful for G; in fact _we_ are in favor of its being made the National Thanksgiving Letter.

Gertrude, Georgiana, Grace, and all the girls of this letter will be Glorious with their Generosity, Gentleness, Grace, and Gaiety, and cannot be won by Gold or Gems. He who would win one of these must be Guileless and Go-ahead.

GARTER. (See knee.) A species of serpent.

GAS, Gas-light. A light often too weak for one and generally
too strong for two. “The fainter the gas the braver the
beau.”—_Shakespeare._

GIRL. The beginning of trouble. An apple blossom in the Garden
of Love.

GOOSEBERRY. An unbidden fruit.

GOSSIP. Nothing to speak of.

GRASS WIDOW. A Grass Widow is a Widow which makes hay.

NOTE THE HEAD-DRESS OR WAR-BONNET OF FEATHERS. THEY HAVE ALSO VARIOUS COLORED SUBSTANCES KNOWN AS “WAR-PAINT,” WHICH THEY SMEAR ON THEIR FACES, GIVING A GHASTLY AND UNNATURAL APPEARANCE. THIS PRACTICE IS QUITE COMMON. SOME OF THIS TYPE, HOWEVER, ARE MOST ATTRACTIVE, ESPECIALLY THOSE FOUND IN THE UN-UNITED STATE]

H

, the eighth letter of Cupid’s Alphabet, takes its form from the Hittite symbol meaning, “An Heir has been born to his House.” The symbol as shown in the cut represents two Hittite gentlemen shaking hands. The gladder looking one is the proud father, and is being congratulated upon the birth of his first son. (Girls did not count for so much then as now.) In later symbolic writing this symbol came to stand for a pleasant or good-natured greeting, as shown in such words as, Howdhy (Hittite), How (North American Indian), Howdedo (New England), Hello (Telephonic), and Hail.

It would be hard to reckon the immense amount of good this letter has done, for without Hell and Headache how many of us would be good? And O the joys of life! For without H where would Happiness and the Honeymoon be? And where Heart, Hope, Health, and Harmony?

Girls under this sign will be Handsome, Honest, and Home-loving, but those named Helen, Harriet, Henrietta, and Hannah seem to be easily Hypnotized by Hollow, Hypocritical Humbugs of the opposite sex.

_Hooray!_

HAPPINESS. The mainspring of the good-time piece.

HEAVEN. “All in her eye.”

HEART. The ticker in the Bourse of Love.

HEARTICULTURE. See Cupid’s Almanac.

HELL! An expression of petulance.

HESITATION. The thief of good times.

HONESTY. A bunker in the game of Love.

HONEYMOON. The sugar on the bread of matrimony.

HOPE. “… the child of Care,
And pretty sister of Despair.”