Chapter VI

Old Plato, that learned divine,
He fondly to wisdom was prone,
But had it not been for good wine,
His merits had never been known;
By wine we are generous made,
It furnishes fancy with wings,
Without it we ne'er shou'd have had
Philosophers, poets, or kings.

Thirdly and lastly, I wish in Chap. XXIII. in your answer to the objection, "That one cannot trust a man that gets drunk," you had been pleased to have taken notice of the taciturnity and continency of the right worshipful the free masons in this respect. For though otherwise they are _free_ enough of speech, yet I do assure you, as to secrets, though some of them love the creature very heartily, and carouse abundantly, yet has it never been known, though never so fuddled, (for free masons will get fuddled,) that they ever discovered any of their secrets. This is irresistible, irrefragable, irrefutable, or if you will, to speak (_norunt dialectici_) _in stylo infinito_, non-resistible, non-refragable, and non-refutable, and, indeed, is my _Argumentum palmare Scotisticum_.

But, and Fourthly also, and Finally, you will give me leave to remark to you, That in relation to St. Boniface's cup, which you take notice of in Chap. XI. p. 68, l. 13, I do assure you, sir, the practice was some years ago, to my certain knowledge, much in vogue, (and, as I am credibly informed, is still wonderfully catholic,) and, by the bye, take the following relation.

In the beginning of the last wars, when I was very young, I had the misfortune to be prisoner in Luxembourg, and not too civilly treated by the governor, the morose Count Dautel. Close confinement, (though in the postmaster's house,) with the unusual smell of the stoves, (for it was in the cold month of March,) made me very ill, and worse, in all probability, should have been, had I not obtained the liberty of the town, which, after many fruitless solicitations, I despaired, from the ill-natured governor, nor should ever have had, were it not by the pressing instance of Father Cripps, a German Franciscan friar, of the convent of Luxembourg, whom they called there Heer[1] Cripps, being confessor to the governor, and having been once sent on a message of moment from him to the king of Spain, Philip the Fifth, now reigning.

This Father was really a good man, and a man of honour; him I gained by the good-nature of the postmaster, whose son was then in his noviceship, in the noviciate of their Order at Ulflingen. I need not tell you, that by noviceship is meant that year of probation, which those who have a mind to enter into any religious order in the church of Rome, must pass through, before they can be professed, or take their vows. This you, who have been abroad, must know as well as I.

This good father, with much ado, obtained what I desired from the governor, who he said was, _homo mirabilis in negotiis suis_, which, by the sequel of his discourse, I understood signified, a very strange man in his affairs. Gratitude obliged me to invite this reverend father to a glass of Rhenish, the wine of the country, which, he frankly accepted of in the afternoon, and, indeed, drank very plentifully, more Germanorum, as you have described. But though he would drink largely as well as his companion, yet I must own, that in none of the many merry bouts we had together (for he visited me very often afterwards, as I did him, I never saw him so far advanced as to lose his reason) he never failed a large glass brimful to St. Boniface, which he drank to the pious memory of the good Father, _ad piam memoriam boni patris_, and sometimes only to the good Father, _ad bonum patrem_. I found afterwards the same laudable custom of St. Boniface's cup in the Low Countries, France and Italy, &c. amongst the religious.

And now, before I subscribe myself,

Sir,

Your most obedient, &c.

give me leave to tell you, that the French religious, who do not speak much Latin, drink healths in their own language. But I was surprised, when I heard in a certain monastery every one of the fathers drink a full glass to each other in these words, "a bumper," as I thought. I am obliged to your reverence (reverend father, said I to the procurator, who sat next me, and drank to me in the same words) in drinking in our country language, you do me a great deal of honour. It may be your country phrase, said the prior to me, very gravely, for what I know; your countrymen make use of a great many of our words, but the thing itself, let the word (or _vox significans_) be what it will, the thing (or _res significata_) is very laudable, and every one will practise, who has any respect for the sacred see, holy church, and the good of his own soul. Did you never hear of the indulgences that the good father, holy pope St. Boniface, has granted to such as drink his cup, and which we have just now piously done? I ask your reverence's pardon, reverend father, said I, I thought we had only been drinking a bumper to one another. _Seulement au bon pere_! replied he a little warmly (for the conversation was all in French, and which word I till then mistook for a bumper.) Why, that is all, said he, _mais_ (continued he) _c'êtoit au bon pere_ Saint Boniface. You see, sir, the _double entendre_[2], and that drinking of bumpers, which some precisians have ignorantly called profane, is a practice very orthodox and catholic.

_Heigh Church militant, rare Church militant, dainty Church militant, O_!

_Dub. Dub. Dub. Dub a dub. Dub. Dub._

_Tan. Tan. Tan. Tan. tara rara ra._

_Adieu, mon tres-cher,_
_Votre ami tres-affectioné_
_&_
_Valet bien humble_

May 1, 1723,
From my Garret in
Bandy-legged Walk.

F. SANS-TERRE.

_P.S._ I paid the waterman six-pence.

FINIS.

[Footnote 1: Heer, in High Dutch, is the same as Monsieur in
French, and is given to persons of the highest destinction.]

[Footnote 2: The transition from _au bon pere_, which is pure
French, to a _bumper_, is very natural, and infinitely more so,
than that golden pippin should be derived from Cooper, which was
said to be effected, in process of time, after this manner,
Cooper, Hooper, Roper, Diaper, Napkin, Pipkin, King Pepin, Golden
Pippin.]

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Errors and Inconsistencies (noted by transcriber)

_Errors in French are noted separately, below._

Most non-standard spellings are carried over from the 1723 original.

The title page of the 1723 edition included this paragraph, immediately before the author's name:

Confirmed by the example of heathens, Turks, infidels,
primitive Christians, saints, popes, bishops, doctors,
philosophers, poets, free masons, and other men of learning
in all ages

Corrected text:

Omnes unius estimemus assis. [uninus]
Montaigne[7] tells us [tell us; _1723 has "tells"_]
in his apology for Herodotus [hi apology: _1723 has "his"_]
PS. Cum coronâ ebrium [P. S.]
pars ego sæpe fui [sepæ]
Hic segetes, illic veniunt fælicius uvæ.
[Hic segetis; misspelling "fælicius" for "felicius" unchanged]
There grows also most excellent wines in France [text unchanged]

Unchanged text:

holydays [one word]
weild
frier ["friar" also occurs]
... lets put ... [no apostrophe]
desert [modern spelling "dessert"]
desart [modern spelling "desert" (noun)]
THE TIPLING PHILOSOPHERS. [spelled "tippling" elsewhere]
[Advertising] Fabulus History

[Some Latin passages use the abbreviation "q;" for "que".]
Quis tulerit Gracchos de seditione quærentes.
[error for "querentes"]
mæchos [correct form is "moechos"; ae/oe variation is common]

Spelling of names (representative list):
Final "e" omitted: Jerom, Augustin
Simple "e" for "ae" or "æ": Lacedemonia, Cecilius, Megera, Eschylus
French forms: Gascogn, Trimalchion

Punctuation and Typography:

[Contents] CHAP. II. That Wine ... [CHAP II.]
[Contents] out-of-the-Way Thoughts [out-of-the-Way-Thoughts]
Be merry to-day, depend not on to-morrow [1723 has hyphen]
_... ex superfluorum potuum indulgentia[2]_. [" at end]
"Sanctus Dominicus sit [' for "]
"Illa dies hæc est [' for "]
but undoubtedly Bacchus is your liber pater
[invisible hyphen at line-break "un-/doubtedly"]
[Chapter XVI] [Footnote 21: Voyag. t. ii. p. 129.] [t. ii p. 129.]
_Hanno_[11], says he ... [not italicized]
say this, or that, of us----. [. missing]

Unchanged quotation marks (unless otherwise noted, close quote is missing at end):

a perfect cure for heaviness and sorrow.
so far as an old drunkard[8].
That experience proves ... people that "have infinitely more wit
[1723 has open quote before "That..." instead of "have..."]
Le don de l'immortalité.
Perfusis halante mero gaudere sepulchris.
Nor this other, [open quote missing]
habitet in sicco._ To which ... addition, It is very probable
[missing close quote after "in sicco"; open quote before "It is"]
to the age of fourscore.
spending his money to no purpose[15].
[the footnote symbols shown as [15] and [17] were also misprinted]
Crateras magnas statuunt et vina coronant.
drive away care. ... pellite curas._"
[close quote should be after "care"]
namely, eloquence.

French:

_Unless otherwise noted, accents were printed as shown. This includes pairs such as a:à and ou:où. Some questioned readings were checked against the 1714 French original._

Qu' importe si c'est un plaisir, [Qu' importe]
"Oui, Thirsis, c'est le vin qui nous fait rejeunir, [cest]
Le regret de choses passees, [possees]
Chaque coup m'ôte la memorie [memorie]
Nous la permet pour la santé!" [sante]
Qu'il faut a chaque mois. [Qui'l]
Venez yvresse temeraire,
Transports ignorez du vulgaire [temerarie ... vulgarie]
"Nous devons tous boire en repos [boirè]
Son noms ses armes sont des pots [son noms]
"De ceux qui vivent dans l'histoire, [historie]
Ma foi je n'envierai le sort. [fois]
Nargues du Temple de Memoire [Memorie]
J'aime bien mieux vivre pendant ma vie [ma vin]
Mais que te sert il que ta gloire [glorie]
Quand tu seras mangé des vers? [mangè]
Elle-même joüit des objets qu'elle a feints.
[Elle-méme joûit l'objets qu'elle a fenits:
_line corrected from 1714 original_]
"[10]Bûveurs brisez le joug d'une raison trop fiere [Bûveur's briser]
D'autres enseignent l'art d'augmenter sa lumiere [d'augmente]
Mais l'art de l'eteindre est plus beau." [l'art eteindre]
Qui dit qu'il faut a chaque mois [fait]
De ce qu'Alexandre le grand, [qu' Alexandre]
Le vin retarde plus la mort, qu'il ne la hâte, [háte]
En pleurs a ce que dit l'histoire, [cè]
Au plaisir, a la bônne chere. [bônne]

Greek:

+pheu tines hudôr / pinousi maniên sôphrona mainomenoi.+

Quotation as printed:
+pheu tines udôr / piuousi maniên sôphrona mainomenoi.+
[The 1723 edition, or its reprint, has far more errors.]