Chapter XII: Act III: Scene IV

ENTER GIULIANO, WITH BIANCHA.

GIU. Well, sister, I tell you true: and you'll find
it so in the end.

BIA. Alas, brother, what would you have me to do?
I cannot help it; you see, my brother Prospero he brings
them in here, they are his friends.

GIU. His friends? his friends? 'sblood, they do nothing
but haunt him up and down like a sort of unlucky sprites,
and tempt him to all manner of villainy that can be thought
of; well, by this light, a little thing would make me play
the devil with some of them; an't were not more for your
husband's sake than any thing else, I'd make the house too
hot for them; they should say and swear, hell were broken
loose, ere they went. But by God's bread, 'tis nobody's
fault but yours; for an you had done as you might have done,
they should have been damn'd ere they should have come
in, e'er a one of them.

BIA. God's my life; did you ever hear the like? what a
strange man is this! could I keep out all them, think you?
I should put myself against half a dozen men, should I?
Good faith, you'd mad the patient'st body in the world,
to hear you talk so, without any sense or reason.

[ENTER MATHEO WITH HESPERIDA, BOBADILLA, STEPHANO,
LORENZO JUNIOR, PROSPERO, MUSCO.]

HESP. Servant, (in troth) you are too prodigal of your
wits' treasure, thus to pour it forth upon so mean a
subject as my worth.

MAT. You say well, you say well.

GIU. Hoyday, here is stuff.

LOR. JU. Oh now stand close; pray God she can get
him to read it.

PROS. Tut, fear not: I warrant thee he will do it of
himself with much impudency.

HES. Servant, what is that same, I pray you?

MAT. Marry, an Elegy, an Elegy, an odd toy.

GIU. Ay, to mock an ape withal. O Jesu.

BIA. Sister, I pray you let's hear it.

MAT. Mistress, I'll read it, if you please.

HES. I pray you do, servant.

GIU. Oh, here's no foppery. 'Sblood, it frets me to the
gall to think on it.

[EXIT.]

PROS. Oh ay, it is his condition, peace: we are fairly
rid of him.

MAT. Faith, I did it in an humour: I know not how it is,
but please you come near, signior: this gentleman hath
judgment, he knows how to censure of a -- I pray you, sir,
you can judge.

STEP. Not I, sir: as I have a soul to be saved, as I am a
gentleman.

LOR. JU. Nay, it's well; so long as he doth not forswear
himself.

BOB. Signior, you abuse the excellency of your mistress and
her fair sister. Fie, while you live avoid this prolixity.

MAT. I shall, sir; well, incipere dulce.

LOR. JU. How, incipere dulce? a sweet thing to be a fool
indeed.

PROS. What, do you take incipere in that sense?

LOR. JU. You do not, you? 'Sblood, this was your villainy
to gull him with a motte.

PROS. Oh, the benchers' phrase: pauca verba, pauca verba.

MAT. "Rare creature, let me speak without offence,
Would God my rude words had the influence
To rule thy thoughts, as thy fair looks do mine,
Then shouldst thou be his prisoner, who is thine."

LOR. JU. 'Sheart, this is in Hero and Leander!

PROS. Oh ay: peace, we shall have more of this.

MAT. "Be not unkind and fair: misshapen stuff
Is of behaviour boisterous and rough":
How like you that, Signior? 'sblood, he shakes his head
like a bottle, to feel an there be any brain in it.

MAT. But observe the catastrophe now,
"And I in duty will exceed all other,
As you in beauty do excel love's mother."

LOR. JU. Well, I'll have him free of the brokers, for
he utters nothing but stolen remnants.

PROS. Nay, good critic, forbear.

LOR. JU. A pox on him, hang him, filching rogue, steal
from the dead? it's worse than sacrilege.

PROS. Sister, what have you here? verses? I pray you
let's see.

BIA. Do you let them go so lightly, sister?

HES. Yes, faith, when they come lightly.

BIA. Ay, but if your servant should hear you, he would
take it heavily.

HES. No matter, he is able to bear.

BIA. So are asses.

HES. So is he.

PROS. Signior Matheo, who made these verses? they are
excellent good.

MAT. O God, sir, it's your pleasure to say so, sir.
Faith, I made them extempore this morning.

PROS. How extempore?

MAT. Ay, would I might be damn'd else; ask Signior Bobadilla.
He saw me write them, at the -- (pox on it) the Mitre yonder.

MUS. Well, an the Pope knew he cursed the Mitre it were
enough to have him excommunicated all the taverns in the town.

STEP. Cousin, how do you like this gentleman's verses?

LOR. JU. Oh, admirable, the best that ever I heard.

STEP. By this fair heavens, they are admirable,
The best that ever I heard.

[ENTER GIULIANO.]

GIU. I am vext I can hold never a bone of me still,
'Sblood, I think they mean to build a Tabernacle here, well?

PROS. Sister, you have a simple servant here, that crowns
your beauty with such encomiums and devices, you may see what
it is to be the mistress of a wit that can make your
perfections so transparent, that every blear eye may look
through them, and see him drowned over head and ears in the
deep well of desire. Sister Biancha, I marvel you get you
not a servant that can rhyme and do tricks too.

GIU. O monster! impudence itself! tricks!

BIA. Tricks, brother? what tricks?

HES. Nay, speak, I pray you, what tricks?

BIA. Ay, never spare any body here: but say, what tricks?

HES. Passion of my heart! do tricks?

PROS. 'Sblood, here's a trick vied, and revied: why, you
monkeys, you! what a cater-wauling do you keep! has he not
given you rhymes, and verses, and tricks?

GIU. Oh, see the devil!

PROS. Nay, you lamp of virginity, that take it in snuff so:
come and cherish this tame poetical fury in your servant,
you'll be begg'd else shortly for a concealment: go to,
reward his muse, you cannot give him less than a shilling in
conscience, for the book he had it out of cost him a teston
at the least. How now gallants, Lorenzo, Signior Bobadilla!
what, all sons of silence? no spirit.

GIU. Come, you might practise your ruffian tricks somewhere
else, and not here, I wiss: this is no tavern, nor no place
for such exploits.

PROS. 'Sheart, how now!

GIU. Nay, boy, never look askance at me for the matter;
I'll tell you of it, by God's bread, ay, and you and your
companions mend yourselves when I have done.

PROS. My companions?

GIU. Ay, your companions, sir, so I say! 'Sblood, I am not
afraid of you nor them neither, you must have your poets,
and your cavaliers, and your fools follow you up and down
the city, and here they must come to domineer and swagger?
sirrah, you ballad-singer, and slops, your fellow there,
get you out; get you out: or (by the will of God) I'll cut
off your ears, go to.

PROS. 'Sblood, stay, let's see what he dare do: cut off his
ears; you are an ass, touch any man here, and by the Lord
I'll run my rapier to the hilts in thee.

GIU. Yea, that would I fain see, boy.

BIA. O Jesu! Piso! Matheo! murder!

HES. Help, help, Piso!

[THEY ALL DRAW, ENTER PISO AND SOME MORE OF THE HOUSE
TO PART THEM, THE WOMEN MAKE A GREAT CRY.]

LOR. JU. Gentlemen, Prospero, forbear, I pray you.

BOB. Well, sirrah, you Holofernes: by my hand, I will pink
thy flesh full of holes with my rapier for this, I will, by
this good heaven: nay, let him come, let him come,
gentlemen, by the body of St. George, I'll not kill him.

[THEY OFFER TO FIGHT AGAIN, AND ARE PARTED.]

PIS. Hold, hold, forbear.

GIU. You whoreson, bragging coistril.

[ENTER THORELLO.]

THO. Why, how now? what's the matter? what stir is here?
Whence springs this quarrel? Piso, where is he?
Put up your weapons, and put off this rage.
My wife and sister, they are cause of this.
What, Piso? where is this knave?

PIS. Here, sir.

PROS. Come, let's go: this is one of my brother's ancient
humours, this.

STEP. I am glad nobody was hurt by this ancient humour.

[EXIT PROSPERO, LORENZO JU., MUSCO, STEPHANO, BOBADILLA,
MATHEO.]

THO. Why, how now, brother, who enforced this brawl?

GIU. A sort of lewd rake-hells, that care neither for God
nor the devil. And they must come here to read ballads and
roguery, and trash. I'll mar the knot of them ere I sleep,
perhaps; especially Signior Pithagoras, he that's all
manner of shapes: and songs and sonnets, his fellow there.

HES. Brother, indeed you are too violent,
Too sudden in your courses, and you know
My brother Prospero's temper will not bear
Any reproof, chiefly in such a presence,
Where every slight disgrace he should receive,
Would wound him in opinion and respect.

GIU. Respect? what talk you of respect 'mongst such
As had neither spark of manhood nor good manners?
By God I am ashamed to hear you: respect?

[EXIT.]

HES. Yes, there was one a civil gentleman,
And very worthily demeaned himself.

THO. Oh, that was some love of yours, sister.

HES. A love of mine? i'faith, I would he were
No other's love but mine.

BIA. Indeed, he seem'd to be a gentleman of an exceeding
fair disposition, and of very excellent good parts.

[EXIT HESPERIDA, BIANCHA.]

THO. Her love, by Jesu: my wife's minion,
Fair disposition? excellent good parts?
'Sheart, these phrases are intolerable,
Good parts? how should she know his parts? well, well,
It is too plain, too clear: Piso, come hither.
What, are they gone?

PIS. Ay, sir, they went in.

THO. Are any of the gallants within?

PIS. No sir, they are all gone.

THO. Art thou sure of it?

PIS. Ay, sir, I can assure you.

THO. Piso, what gentleman was that they praised so?

PISO. One they call him Signior Lorenzo, a fair young
gentleman, sir.

THO. Ay, I thought so: my mind gave me as much:
'Sblood, I'll be hang'd if they have not hid him in the house,
Some where, I'll go search, Piso, go with me,
Be true to me and thou shalt find me bountiful.

[EXEUNT.]