Chapter XII: Theater, Opera, and Concert-Hall 215 (4)

At a public dinner the tickets may or may not be taken up. Sometimes there is a man in livery at the door of the dining-room who performs this office, sometimes each waiter collects them from the diners at the table where he is stationed. When the plan of printing a sheet containing the names of all the subscribers is followed, and no one is assigned a seat after this list goes to press, it is not really necessary to take up the tickets. If any one has forgotten to pay, the committee can easily send him a bill. Where the tickets are collected, it suffices for a man who has forgotten his to give his visiting-card. At men’s dinners no tickets are demanded from guests. Those invited by the association are seated at the speaker’s or other special table, and paid for by the society. Those asked by private members are paid for by the latter. A gentleman who engages a table for himself and his friends is held responsible for it.

The society giving the banquet is held responsible for the whole number of persons actually present at the dinner. Hence a careful count of them must be made. After taking up the tickets at the different tables, the waiters report to the captain of the floor. This functionary informs the chairman of the dinner committee of the result of the count about the time when the third course is put on. It is now the duty of the chairman to see that the number has been correctly estimated. He leaves his seat, goes about the room and into the gallery if he pleases, counting the diners. Since all the tables seat the same number of persons, usually eight, this is not so difficult as it might appear. It takes some time, however, to count several hundred people, especially as it must be done a second time if the reckoning of the chairman does not agree with that of the captain of the floor. When this officer of the association acts as toastmaster also, as often happens, he has no time to eat any dinner, and a supper is served to him afterward.

The question may be asked, “Should public dinners be opened with grace?” They often are, but the custom is by no means universal. If a clergyman is at the speaker’s table, he will be requested to ask a blessing. A guest of distinction is occasionally invited to do so, sometimes to his great surprise. It is always possible to use the silent grace of the Quakers or Friends. The usual form is, “For what we are about to receive make us truly thankful,” etc. Those who find themselves seated at table with people whom they do not know should remember that it is always courteous to say a few words to one’s next-door neighbors, even if they are strangers. They may prove to be very agreeable people.

The president of the association, or the chairman of the committee in charge, calls the company to order at the end of the dinner. He makes a short address himself, and then introduces the speakers in turn, with a few words of compliment or explanation. A good toastmaster must have a voice clear and strong enough to be heard all over the room. He should also be witty, gracious, and tactful. If the president is not well qualified for this office, the vice-president or some other person should be asked to make the introductions. It is sometimes arranged to have the speakers begin while the dinner is still in progress. The rattling of the plates, as the servants remove and replace them, creates so much disturbance that this plan should be adopted only where the service has been delayed and the hour is growing late. Occasionally we hear of a dinner where all speech-making has been omitted, or replaced by “Voiceless Speech.” Dancing now tends to crowd out all other forms of amusement at entertainments of all sorts.

The regulation wear for a public, as for a private, dinner is evening dress. At a political banquet, however, a variety of costumes may be seen, some men coming in business suits, either because they find this more convenient or because they do not possess a dress-suit. A man who is a faithful adherent of his party may feel it to be his duty and his pleasure to attend its festivities. At a stag dinner a dinner-jacket with black waistcoat, black trousers and tie may be worn. Many women wear low-necked and short-sleeved gowns. Others dislike doing so on such a public occasion. They wear handsome costumes of silk, satin, velvet, brocade, chiffon, or other dressy material, slightly cut down at the neck and with elbow-sleeves. The French call this “demi-toilette,” signifying that it is a half-way stage between every-day and full dress. For a public reception in the evening, the dress is much the same as at a dinner. Most women wear no hats, but some appear in light-colored, dressy bonnets.

As a public dinner often lasts very late, many persons slip quietly out between the speeches, taking leave only of those sitting next them. It is discourteous to go out in the middle of an address. If one should meet a member of the reception committee, one would naturally express pleasure in the evening’s entertainment. Guests at the speaker’s table would take leave of the presiding officer, if seated near him. The general body of diners do not think it necessary to take leave, since every man has paid for his own ticket, and so is in a sense his own host.

If anybody has any cause of complaint, it is best to say nothing about it at the time, but to speak or write afterward to the head of the proper committee. One should begin by praising the entertainment as a whole, and then suggest in a courteous way that such and such a matter might perhaps be arranged differently on the occasion of the next banquet.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

VIII

BALLS AND DANCES

Dinner and Subscription Dances—Roof-garden Dances—Reciprocal Duties of the Chaperon and Her Charge—How to Enter and How to Leave a Ballroom—Objectionable Styles of Dancing—The Stag Line and the Dance Programme—The Hostess and Her Assistants—The Host—Introductions at Public and at Private Dances—Duties of Floor Committee—Supper Etiquette—Dress for Young Girls and Married Women—Dress for Men.

ACCORDING to the rules of good society, her mother, or some other chaperon of good position and suitable age, should always accompany a young girl when she goes to a ball or other dance in the evening. If this rule were always enforced as it should be, we should not hear of the escapades which some thoughtless young women have indulged in of late years. The swinging back of the pendulum, which is sure to follow an excess in one direction, will doubtless result before long in a stricter chaperonage. Suffice it to say that at present, while a matron is expected to go with her charge to public balls and dances and on many other occasions, at subscription affairs and at those in private houses she often does not do so. It must not be supposed that the young women go alone or under masculine escort. This would be contrary to good form. In the absence of the mother a lady’s-maid accompanies the daughter, waits for her until the dance is over, and returns in the carriage with her. The girls are not wholly without chaperons, as the patronesses act in this capacity. It must be remembered also that these subscription dances are in a sense private affairs, although held in assembly-rooms. The patronesses make out a list of eligible persons whom they ask to subscribe, and permit no one else to do so. Certain assemblies are arranged upon another plan, the patronesses each subscribing for twelve tickets, and then inviting six men and five girls to be their guests. They often ask these young ladies to dine with them on the evening of the dance, or the girls may take dinner with friends and all go on together.

The case is very different with the afternoon and evening dances which have sprung up in such great numbers since the advent of the tango craze. Since anybody is admitted who pays the entrance fee, these are public affairs, and not private in any sense of the word. The so-called chaperon who at some places acts as mistress of ceremonies is supposed to pass judgment on the applicants for admission; but evidently it would not be possible for her to exercise this right of judgment except in the most superficial way. To a dance of this sort no young woman should think of going without a personal chaperon. In a city like New York we should strongly advise her to attend only afternoon affairs, and to remain an onlooker. In a smaller place where every one knows everybody else, and all are acquainted with the person getting up the dance, the case would be different. At a public dance the chaperon should not permit any introductions to be made to the young girl under her charge by persons unknown to her, and she most certainly should not allow the latter to dance with strangers. The mistress of ceremonies makes introductions where they are desired, but to form acquaintances in a public resort of this kind is not according to good form, and might indeed be very unsafe. Strangers coming to New York, or any other large city, should make careful inquiries before going to roof-gardens or other places of entertainment where there is dancing, for while some of these are entirely respectable, others are not.

We have said that at a private or subscription dance a girl often does not have a personal chaperon, the patronesses assuming the duties of the latter in a general way. When a matron does accompany a young woman, it is the duty of the former to promote the pleasure of her young charge, to prevent her from forming undesirable acquaintances and from making herself too conspicuous. For all these reasons she needs to keep a watchful eye on her daughter or other young friend. If the girl wanders off into the gallery in the company of some agreeable young man, mamma must go or send after them and bid them return to the floor of the ballroom. A patroness would do this in the case of an unchaperoned girl. If a girl shows too marked a partiality for any individual, the mother who is a clever woman of the world manages to break up the tête-à-tête.

She would do the same thing should a man of whom she disapproved be introduced to her daughter. Formerly a chaperon worthy of the name sat still and served as an island of refuge to the young woman under her care. The latter returned to her protecting wing to rest between the numbers of the programme, or when she had no partner for supper or dance. Whenever opportunity offered, the chaperon introduced young men to her charge. It must be confessed that the modern conditions of the ballroom restrict the beneficent activity of the matron on many occasions. In the first place, she finds it much harder to sit still. No one under the age of Methuselah is immune from the present craze for dancing. At the Charity Ball in New York this year the boxes were deserted, old as well as young capering about on the light fantastic toe. In the second place, the new custom of almost continuous dancing leaves few or no intervals for rest. Hence a girl cannot return to her chaperon so frequently as under the old régime.

Youth is apt to be selfish, often through thoughtlessness. The young woman who is having a delightful evening must not forget that the hours will pass much more slowly for her chaperon. Even if the latter dances herself, she will not be able to continue it so long as those of the younger generation. A girl must have some consideration for her mother and not keep her up until an unconscionably late hour. If mamma sends word to her daughter that it is time to go home, the latter should come without unnecessary delay. The girl should return to her mother’s side from time to time as opportunity offers, especially if the latter knows few people and is having a dull evening. She will, of course, always allow the older lady to precede her, and will introduce her young friends to her chaperon as occasion arises. Thus, when they make their first entrance into the ballroom at the beginning of the evening, the latter goes in a step or two in advance of the younger woman. If a man is of the party, he follows the ladies. The custom of entering arm-in-arm has gone entirely out of fashion, as we have already said. At subscription dances in New York it is usual to announce the guests as they go in, a servant standing at the door for the purpose. The patronesses should be in line to receive them; but at some dances there is no one to perform the office. These official hostesses may greet all comers with a bow or courtesy, or they may follow the more cordial custom of shaking hands. At the subscription dances in New York the last-named method is usually followed. In Boston a girl is taken up to the receiving-line by an usher. She then makes a sweeping courtesy to all the patronesses, and dances with him. Whether they shake hands or merely bow, it is the duty of the ladies who receive to do so in a gracious manner, as befits a hostess.

Should one take leave of the latter after a dance? This depends upon circumstances. The persons who take their departure early often slip out quietly, in order not to advertise the fact that they are going. It is not altogether a compliment to a hostess to leave early in the evening, and if many people did so it would tend to break up the ball. Should one pass near the lady of the house, however, politeness requires that one should bid her good night and express pleasure in the evening’s entertainment or congratulate her on its success. Later on, when the movement to go home becomes general, all take their leave of the hostess, and of the host, if he is standing near.

The discussion about the merits and demerits of the new styles of dancing has raged so vigorously in press and pulpit that every one is familiar with it. The result of all this debate has been good, since the objectionable features have been to a great extent removed. When the tango and the other new dances were first introduced, there was a great deal of unfavorable criticism of the method of holding the partner, and of the “shaking and wiggling” motions of the body. The latter was a consequence, it is said, of the slow movement of the music. This rendered it difficult to dance without a swaying accompaniment. By making the tempo a little more rapid it has been found possible to eliminate the last feature, and good dancers have proved that the tango, one-step, and the like can be executed well and gracefully without holding the partner too closely. It is evident that the new dances have been greatly modified, and that they will not be given up at present. It is pointed out that there always have been, and perhaps always will be, some persons who dance in a way that people of refinement disapprove of. It is a rule of good society to avoid everything that makes a person conspicuous, hence amateur dancers of good taste do not take their steps in the exaggerated and sensational style suitable only for professional performers.

A lady who wishes to give a large dance usually hires an assembly-room, unless she possesses a very spacious house. The arrangements at the front door, in the dressing-rooms, etc., are the same as those described elsewhere. Checks for the wraps, hats, and coats will be needed, cigars and cigarettes may be provided for the men. The use of dance programmes has been abandoned to a great extent, except at college, military, and naval balls. Here the young ladies often come from a distance, and the dance-cards are filled out for them beforehand by their brothers or friends.

Where a débutante is to be introduced to society she stands beside her mother, who shakes hands cordially with all her guests and then presents her daughter to the ladies, the men being introduced to the young girl. If the older daughters assist in receiving, they stand beyond the youngest. The husband sometimes receives with his wife, and sometimes does not. At a dance in a private house, a greater responsibility devolves upon the hostess than in a subscription affair, where a floor committee have the management of matters. She endeavors to provide her guests with partners, and makes some introductions, her husband and daughters assisting her.

At a subscription dance, if a young girl after making her bow to the patronesses fails to meet any one whom she knows, one of these official hostesses or a member of the floor committee presents a partner to her. These gentlemen wear a small boutonnière to indicate their office. It is their duty and pleasure to make everything go off well, and to assist the young girls in any way that may be needed. They know most of the guests and make introductions.

According to the present system of dancing, a number of the men form “a stag line” near the patronesses. After a couple have danced one or more times around the room, another man steps out from this line and “breaks in,” as the term is. That is to say, he interrupts their progress and asks the girl to dance with him. This she should certainly do, unless there is some very special reason for refusing. It would be awkward for the young man to go back to the line, as every one would see that his invitation had been declined. It would probably result in an awkward situation for the girl also, as to dance a long time with the same partner continuously is now considered highly undesirable. A young woman who does so runs the risk of being considered a wall-flower. If she does not know many of the young men present, it may happen that no one will “break in,” and it will become her duty, after a certain length of time, to release her partner. There are several ways of doing this. She may ask to speak to the patronesses or to another girl. In the last case an exchange of partners may be effected, or the young man whom she is releasing may bring up a third man and present him to the other young lady; or our young friend may appeal to a member of the floor committee. He will perhaps dance with her himself, or present another partner to her. Young women sometimes serve on the floor committee at a dance. These are usually girls who have been for some years in society.

While, as has been said, a young woman should not under ordinary circumstances refuse to dance with a man who “breaks in,” it is permissible for her to do so, if her partner is unwilling to release her. If he intimates to the new-comer that it is his dance and that he does not want to give it up, then the girl may, if she pleases, go on dancing with him. This arrangement of a stag line with frequent change of partners is suitable only for private or semi-private affairs, such as subscription dances. For a public ball the older method of engaging a partner for an entire number is the proper one.

For the time being, the cotillion, or German, has gone very much out of fashion. The modern system of continuous dancing and taking only short turns with each partner, makes it less of a compliment than formerly to engage a young lady for a single dance. Hence special emphasis is now laid on the invitation to supper. A man who wishes to make some return for hospitality extended to him, or to show a young woman particular attention, asks her to go in to supper with him, as he would a few years ago have engaged her for the German. Hence it is very desirable for a girl to have this part of the programme arranged in good season. If she has no partner when the supper-hour arrives, she is in rather an awkward position, especially if she has no chaperon. The man with whom she is talking at the moment will be obliged to excuse himself if he has previously arranged to take in some one else. She should ask him to escort her to her chaperon, if the latter is present, or to the patronesses; or she may retire to the dressing-room or go home. Occasionally one girl joins another who is provided with an escort, but this is seldom advisable, even if the two young women know each other well. Since “Two are company but three are a crowd,” a girl does not wish to spoil her friend’s pleasure by making an unwelcome third member of the party.

If the young lady has a supper-partner, the question may be asked, what becomes of her chaperon at a subscription dance? The latter sometimes goes into the dining-room with one of the older men, or she joins the patronesses. These ladies are now quite independent, and go in to supper with or without male escort, as they find convenient, since few of the husbands attend the dances. The young people march in after the elders, going in pairs, but not arm-in-arm. Sometimes four or five couples arrange to have supper together, and thus make a merry affair of it.

At a dance in a private house, when the musicians play the march which indicates that all is in readiness in the dining-room, the host leads the way thither with the eldest or the most distinguished lady present. The other guests follow without formality. The hostess makes sure that all have preceded her, or, if some of the ladies prefer to remain in the drawing-room, she despatches a gentleman or one of the waiters to attend to their wants. This in case the service is “en buffet.” If little tables are provided for the guests, then all should be seated thereat. Should the supper-room not be large enough to contain these comfortably, the tables should be brought in and distributed about the drawing-rooms and halls. With this arrangement a course supper is provided. The buffet service is easier and calls for fewer waiters to serve the guests. The large table, decked with lights, flowers, and many good things to eat, produces a brilliant effect. As much space as possible is procured by setting all the chairs against the walls of the dining-room. It must be confessed, however, that when the company is large there is often an unpleasant jam in the supper-room.

Bouillon, salads, croquettes, oysters, sandwiches or rolls, ices, fancy cakes, bonbons, and coffee constitute the usual bill of fare, to which other and more expensive dainties, such as terrapin and birds, are sometimes added. For an informal dance the menu may be much simplified. If wine is served, it is usually champagne, although less expensive and less “heady” beverages, such as light Rhine wines, are sometimes substituted. There should always be a punch-bowl filled with lemonade, wine-cup, or punch that is not too strong, placed in the hall or elsewhere for the benefit of thirsty dancers. On a formal occasion a servant ladles this out. At an informal affair the guests help themselves.

At a large public function, such as the Charity Ball in New York, the floor committee make introductions if these are desired, but the guests usually go with their own parties. Where the tickets cost five dollars apiece, in addition to the price of the supper, a certain degree of exclusiveness is attained, although, as we all know, there are many persons who have plenty of money yet lack social culture and experience.

The opening of such an affair is quite imposing. The officers of the ball enter in a grand march, the patronesses coming first on the arms of the governors, the remaining members of the committee following two by two, all the men wearing badges. Where officers of the army and navy take part, their uniforms add to the brilliancy of the general effect. There is usually no reception of guests at such a function, and no formal entrance to the supper-room. The thoughtful man endeavors to have a table reserved for his party when a great many people are present.

All the large hotels in New York now have roof-gardens where there is dancing in the afternoon and evening. Many people go to these as lookers-on, ordering a cup of tea, ices, and coffee or wine. The price of admission in the daytime usually includes the cost of the tea. At certain of the evening resorts the very objectionable custom exists of charging no entrance fee but demanding that guests shall purchase a bottle of champagne. Those who refuse to order wine and insist upon having a milder beverage are furnished with coffee at the price of one dollar for each cup. Careful people do not patronize places of this sort unless they look in for a short time as a matter of curiosity. If they wish to dance, they go to hotels of established reputation, usually in parties of four or six. They can thus have a good time together and be entirely independent of the rest of the company.

“Dinner dances” may be given either at the residence of the hostess or at assembly-rooms, as is most convenient. An entertainment at a private house brings with it an atmosphere of hospitality which is lacking in a hotel ballroom. Hence, if the affair is not on so large a scale as to overcrowd her rooms and if these have good hard-wood floors, the hostess will probably decide to use her own house. If a large number of persons are to be invited, it will be necessary to engage the requisite space at a good hotel. The hostess sends out two sets of invitations; those for the dinner are in her own name, and that of her husband also, with the words “Dancing at eleven” or “ten,” as the case may demand, in the lower left-hand corner. The invitations for the dance are in the name of the hostess alone. They may be in the “At Home” or “Requests the pleasure” form. The hour for the second part of the entertainment must be late enough to insure the termination of the dinner before the arrival of those invited for the dancing only. Great pains must be taken to have the floors in first-class condition, polished sufficiently, yet not made too slippery. For a small dinner dance at a private house, the supper should be a simple affair, served “en buffet.”

The combination “dinner dance” affords a pleasant way of dividing the evening’s hospitality so that no hostess need be unduly burdened. Several friends arrange to give dinners on the same evening, one of the circle undertaking to have a dance at her house, or at an assembly-room if she prefers. In either case she assumes the expense of the occasion; she furnishes the supper, engages the musicians, and the hall also, if the affair takes place there. The guests “go on” in automobiles or omnibuses from the various houses where they have been entertained, meeting at the dwelling of the latest hostess, or at the assembly-room, at ten or eleven o’clock. The dancing usually lasts till one or two o’clock.

For a ball, women wear their handsomest clothes, and married ladies adorn themselves with a profusion of jewels. All appear in décolleté gowns made with short sleeves and more or less train, according to the fashion of the moment. In America many elderly ladies claim exemption from this fashion, thinking the costume inappropriate to persons of their years. Here, at least, we are certainly more sensible than our English sisters, who make a sort of fetish of the low-necked gown. While some American women carry this style to an immodest extreme, the majority are too wise to do so. Ball dresses for married ladies are made of rich and expensive materials—silks, satins, brocades—trimmed with beautiful laces or combined with chiffon or other gauzy stuffs. While a great deal of jewelry is worn, it is well to have a certain unity of effect. The woman who puts on a great variety of jewels combined in a tasteless way may produce a strong impression upon the beholder, but it will not be an agreeable one. For young girls, décolleté gowns of diaphanous material, either white or of a delicate tint, are the most appropriate and becoming. They should wear little jewelry, simplicity being the keynote of their costume. Diamonds and rich laces are not suitable for a débutante. Men wear the regulation evening dress, black swallow-tail coat with trousers to match, low-cut white waistcoat, white dress-shirt, patent-leather shoes or pumps, black socks, white lawn tie, and white or light gloves.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

IX

AUTOMOBILE TRIPS

The Automobilist as Host—Provision for Comfort of Guests—Duties of Guest—Dress and Luggage—Automobile Picnics—Entertainment of Chauffeur—When a Visit Becomes a Visitation.

THE owner of an automobile is able to entertain his friends in a pleasant way with comparatively little trouble. He can take them out for a spin without interfering with the machinery of the household or giving extra work to the servants. Almost every one enjoys motoring in warm weather, and it is easy to stop for luncheon at a country club or an inn or to have a picnic by the wayside, should the owner of the car wish to show more than mere “carriage hospitality.” The trip may be short or long, as he pleases, and as he thinks will be agreeable to his guests. If these are persons who are not young, or who are unaccustomed to motoring, he must be careful not to take them too far nor too fast. The fatigue of going a long distance at a rapid rate is a severe tax on the uninitiated. It is well to have the excursion include some object of interest, such as a beautiful piece of scenery or fine buildings. During the great heat, motoring for its own sake is found very refreshing, simply because the rapidity of the motion makes every one feel cool. In winter few people care to go out for pleasure trips, but many persons continue to use their cars as a quick and convenient way of getting about, when the snow and mud are not too bad. It is a kind attention to lend a friend one’s automobile for a shopping tour or for paying visits. She should not detain it a moment after the hour named for its return. If none has been mentioned, she may be able to find out from the chauffeur how much time the trip is expected to occupy, or calculate it herself, remembering that one should not overtax the generosity of a friend. Having decided upon the hour when the car should return, it is well to say to the chauffeur, “Please let me know when it is time to turn back.” One should in any event use the car only for a moderate distance, since every mile traversed costs a certain sum.

The automobilist who has invited one or more ladies to go out with him stops for them in his car. Arrived at their dwelling, he asks to have them informed that the car is there, and waits for them in the reception or drawing-room. He assists his guests to enter the car, and wraps the robe carefully around them, tucking it in at the sides. In winter, plenty of fur or heavy woolen robes should be provided. In summer lighter ones will suffice, with linen covers to protect the dresses from the dust. For an open car, it is well to have several pairs of goggles of different kinds on hand, and to offer these to the guests if a long trip is contemplated or if the roads are dusty. The host asks whether the ladies would like the windows open or closed, and the wind-shield up or down. In the course of the trip he repeats these inquiries, especially if there is a strong breeze blowing, or if a change occurs in the weather. Having made sure that his guests are comfortably settled, he climbs in and takes his place. While the tonneau, or main body of the automobile, is held to be the place of honor, because it is less exposed than the front seats, the latter are really more comfortable in many cars because the motion is less felt there. Hence if the host is driving himself, he will ask whether any of his guests would like to sit beside him. Some young lady will probably prefer to do so, unless he is a very tiresome person. A good driver does not go too fast, and proceeds with caution over the rough places, in order not to shake up the occupants of the car.

The host decides in what direction the trip shall be, although he may very properly ask whether his guests would like to go there. If requested to do so, the latter are at liberty to express their choice. A courteous person does not insist, however, on being taken in any special direction. Where the proposed trip is a long one, and the guest has a later engagement, he should say frankly: “I should enjoy very much going to ——, but I fear there will not be time, as I have promised to be down-town at five o’clock.”

If the excursion is to be an all-day or overnight affair, it is usually arranged beforehand. When the owner of the car invites the party to go with him at his expense and makes this evident by saying explicitly, “I want you all to be my guests for the trip,” he pays the hotel bill and all other costs. He acts as host just as he would in his own house, ordering the meals and naming the hours when they shall be served. He should inquire whether any of the party would like to have breakfast served in their own rooms. He plans the whole trip and lays out the course to be traversed each day.

There are some circumstances, however, under which the automobilist may very properly offer only a limited hospitality to his guests. Thus, it may happen that a number of friends all wish to go to see a football game or other athletic contest in a neighboring town. If one of the number then offers to take them there in his car, it is understood of course that his hospitality extends only to the means of transportation. All procure their tickets beforehand, and the expense of the entertainment at the hotel is divided among them. When one is doubtful on which plan the trip is to be conducted, one should by all means endeavor to pay one’s share. It is best in a case of this sort for a single individual to speak for the rest. He can say when the time comes for payment, “You must let us know, John, what our share of the hotel bill is.” Or it could be proposed beforehand that one of the number should act as treasurer. This is an ungrateful office to fill, since some one is apt to forget to pay, and dunning friends is an unpleasant task. The man selected should not be the host, who may be thought to have done his share. He should, however, be the richest man of the party; first, because it will be easier for him than for his poorer comrades to bear any loss should there be one; second, because in nine cases out of ten rich people care more about money than poor ones; third, because they are more accustomed to making financial arrangements. Hence the job of collecting is less difficult for them. A guest should embark on a motor-trip with the intention of having a good time and enjoying all that there is to be enjoyed. He should be prepared to take any delay or mishap with cheerful philosophy. A man or a woman who possesses the true spirit of sport will not sulk or complain if the tire bursts or the engine for some mysterious reason refuses to work. All complicated machinery is liable to accident, and if one enjoys all the advantages of very rapid motion, one must expect from time to time to experience the drawbacks. Neither should one take it in dudgeon if rain comes on. The host cannot be expected to insure good weather. A guest sitting in the rear must not talk to the driver. The latter must constantly watch the road, and cannot turn his head to speak to any one behind him without risk of accident.

The automobile practically annihilates distance, thus greatly increasing the number of places which can be readily reached from any given spot. A picnic to which the company go in motor-cars may be ten, twenty, or more miles away. If many people are to take part in it, the site must be selected with great care. When half a dozen friends go off for a frolic, it does not so much matter what sort of place they choose, because if it does not come up to their expectations they can eat their luncheon without leaving the car. For a larger number all the arrangements should be carefully made in advance. A committee of one or more should visit the chosen spot beforehand, and get the owner’s permission to hold the picnic there. It is very sad for a party of friends on pleasure bent to be warned off the grounds just as they have their whole luncheon unpacked and spread out on the grass. Yet this frequently happens at places in the neighborhood of summer resorts. The city visitor, misled by the uncultivated aspect of some beautiful spot, fails to realize that it is private property, and that the owners may find it extremely inconvenient to have their premises constantly invaded and their privacy destroyed. Some owners are willing to allow picknickers to come to their places, provided permission is obtained beforehand, the débris removed, and no damage done to the trees and shrubs. The vandalism of certain summer visitors is hardly believable. They will calmly leave the unsightly and unwholesome remains of their repast lying about to offend the eyes and nostrils of later comers and to breed flies. Farmers and others sometimes make a regular charge for letting their grounds for the day.

Our committee of one should choose a spot where the grass is not too long, and should find out whether there is any danger of an incursion by cattle. It is very desirable to select a place near shade-trees. Luncheon-baskets furnished with knives, forks, etc., can now be readily purchased. Cold water, fruit-punch, or lemonade and hot coffee may be conveniently transported in Thermos bottles. Some people carry chafing-dishes and prepare scrambled eggs, mushrooms, or Welsh rarebit on the spot. It is usual to have every one contribute some article to the bill of fare at a picnic. In order that there shall not be a surplus of one article and a shortage of another, the persons or committee who get up the affair should arrange with each individual or party what they shall bring. If there are tables at the appointed rendezvous, cold ham, chickens, etc., may be brought whole. If the cloth is to be spread upon the grass, the carving should all be done beforehand. The idea of a picnic is that it shall be a more or less unceremonious occasion, yet care must be taken that informality does not degenerate into slovenly disorder. The food should all be done up neatly and daintily, napkins of paper, if not of linen, should be provided, also knives and forks and spoons where these will be needed.

The best results are secured by deputing two or more persons to arrange the table, instead of intrusting this task to the whole company. When the feast is ready the gentlemen pass the dishes to the ladies, but it is a part of the fun to have the latter assist in the work. If there are older people present, they are asked to sit still and be waited upon. At formal picnics the table is arranged and the food set out by servants. Impromptu vaudeville, charades, tableaux, or songs with guitar accompaniment make a pleasant ending to the affair, where time permits. Dancing has always been popular on these occasions. They are often held at some place of resort which boasts a hall or open-air platform for the dancers.

In dressing for a trip in a motor-car, a woman should wear a small, close-fitting hat or an automobile bonnet. This and the large veil covering it should be securely fastened down, so that there will be no danger of their blowing away. All superfluous ribbons and streamers should be avoided for the same reason. A dust-cloak of linen or pongee is a great protection in summer. As such a garment affords little warmth, the tourist should provide herself with a cloth coat also. Men wear small caps and dusters or light overcoats. Since there is little room for luggage on a car, a guest who is invited to go for a tour should take as little as possible, packing it in a suit-case or bag, or small automobile trunk, if she has received permission to carry one. Since motoring is extremely dusty business, it is well to take a change of costume to wear in the evening, if this is to be spent at an inn. Foulards and India silks are excellent for this purpose, as they weigh so little and are not easily creased or tumbled. If one has not space for an entire gown, a dressy waist should be carried.

The craze for motoring has developed many wayside inns scattered along the routes most frequented by tourists. Some of these are ancient hostelries, or reproductions of the same, charmingly furnished in ye olden style. Here travelers by automobile stop for lunch, afternoon tea, or dinner, or to spend the night. As inn-keepers sometimes charge the owners of motor-cars extortionate prices, those who wish to avoid great expense should carry lunch-baskets with them. They can then arrange an impromptu picnic by the wayside and so be independent of landlords, should the latter be unreasonable in their charges. Indeed, many people consider these wayside lunches part of the fun of a motor-trip. They start off for a tour of several days, equipped with a large basket containing plenty of provisions. Some picturesque spot is chosen for the daily picnic, the basket being replenished at shops or hotels _en route_, should this be necessary.

People who wish to go on a motor-trip in Europe now find it better to take over their own car and chauffeur, rather than to hire these on the other side of the water. It is necessary, however, to procure a permit allowing the party to cross from one country into another. Otherwise the traveler is subject to vexatious delays at the frontiers. The owner of a car must always remember that the chauffeur, like the passengers, requires food at regular intervals. Sometimes an allowance is made to him and he gets his meals where he likes; sometimes his employer arranges for his entertainment. As he is usually of a better class than the ordinary domestic, he is not willing to eat with the servants. He prefers to take his meals after his employer, but at the same table. If the latter is visiting at an expensive inn, and there are cheaper ones of a suitable character in the neighborhood, he may request his chauffeur to dine or spend the night at one of these, furnishing him with the money.

Instead of staying at an inn, the automobilist sometimes makes a visit to friends in the country. Where this is by invitation, the host entertains the chauffeur, or arranges to have him cared for in the neighborhood. As the touring party probably consists of two or three people in addition, such a visit, if prolonged, may readily become a tax on the hospitality of the host. Hence the stay should be limited to one or two nights, else it may become a “visitation.”

If a party of motorists stop to lunch or spend the night at a friend’s house without previous invitation, they should endeavor to provide for the entertainment of their chauffeur elsewhere, since it would hardly be courteous to put this additional strain on the hospitality of their host.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

X

BRIDGE PARTIES AND EVENING RECEPTIONS

Arrangement of the Card-tables—Playing for Prizes—Good and Bad Manners at the Card-table—Why Certain People are not Asked—Duties of Hostess—Card Parties for Charity—Dress and Etiquette of Evening Receptions.

THE extreme popularity of bridge has somewhat lessened since the tango craze invaded society. Card-playing still has many devotees, however, and is likely to have them in the future, as in the past. When not carried on too strenuously, it affords a mild and gentle form of amusement that is especially valuable to elderly persons, or to younger ones of quiet tastes.

For a bridge party, card-tables and light chairs can be hired from furniture stores or caterers. Ordinary tables may be used, provided they are large enough to seat four persons comfortably, and not so large as to make it difficult to reach across them to gather up the tricks. It is now thought well to cover them with a cloth, although our grandparents used the bare mahogany, if we may judge by the tables that have come down to us. Hostesses who often give card parties will find it convenient to buy several tables. These may be covered with green baize or enamel cloth, or upholstered in silk or damask to match the room. In the latter case one should have white linen slips that can be taken off and washed every time they are used. Small, light chairs are preferred to heavy ones, and they must be of the right height. The hostess should measure her rooms beforehand, to see how many people she can accommodate comfortably.

Space must be left to pass between the tables, and these must not be placed too near steam-pipes or draughty windows. The drawing-rooms should be well ventilated before the guests arrive, yet not quite so cool as they would be for a dance. Should they become close in the course of the evening, the hostess should be careful not to open a window without warning those in the vicinity that she is about to do so, and so give them an opportunity of changing their seats. In a house furnished with electric lights, it is easy to have the rooms well lighted yet not overheated. Where it is necessary to use lamps or candles, their arrangement will require some care. They must be near enough the players to enable them to see, yet never set on the card-table itself. It is dangerous to place them on stands so small and light that they are liable to be upset.

All the paraphernalia used in the game, the playing-cards, scoring tablets or cards, counters, etc., must be fresh and in good condition. A pencil that refuses to write furnishes one of the peculiarly exasperating, though small, miseries of life. If many people are invited, new cards should be provided. For progressive euchre there must be punches and score-cards. The hostess asks some one to do the punching, or attends to it herself. At a large party she does not play unless it is necessary to fill an empty place.

Some persons think it no harm to play for money, provided the stakes are very small. The habit of gambling, which was introduced into society in this country not many years ago, has resulted in such scandals and so much evil that the wisest and safest way is to avoid it altogether. Even where there is playing for money, a hostess must provide one or more tables for those guests who object to it on principle. Good form and common sense alike demand this. Many people become so excited by the desire to win the prize or stakes of the evening that they treat one another with scanty politeness, and the unfortunate player who makes a mistake is often roundly scolded for her carelessness. During the card mania which prevailed at Newport a year or two ago, it was said that many people did not speak as they passed by, owing to quarrels over bridge. To give prizes that are very handsome and expensive is not considered to be in the best taste. The hostess should take pains to secure articles that are pretty and attractive, but not of great money value. It is also thought best not to show them until the playing is over.

Some people find it interesting to play nominally, but not actually, for money. A gentleman who took part in a series of games while crossing the Atlantic was relieved when the voyage was over to find that the ladies of the party construed all the financial obligations in a purely Pickwickian sense. The score was made out, but no payments were permitted. It need scarcely be said that a real debt at the gaming-table is held to be one of honor, for the simple reason that there is no legal obligation to pay it. To induce a young man or woman to play, and perhaps lose a large sum of money, may be thought a greater offense against honor.

Good form demands that all who take part in a game of cards shall pay strict attention to it and follow the rules. Not every one can win, but all should do their best. It is extremely annoying to devotees of bridge to be interrupted by conversation while the hands are being played. The great actress Charlotte Cushman once had her patience severely taxed by a gentleman who persisted in talking to her partner. Presently she said in her rich, deep voice, with great emphasis:

“_Remember, this is whist._”

The effect was startling, and the offender sinned no more, at least on that occasion.

If a player does her best, more cannot be expected of her. To find fault with one’s partner, asking her in an injured tone why she did not return a certain lead, or why she played that ace of hearts second hand, is decidedly bad form. We must always remember that among ladies and gentlemen card-playing should be considered as an amusement, serious if you will, but nevertheless a form of diversion and not a matter of business. Hence the well-bred woman loses neither her temper nor her philosophical spirit. She may wish to win, but her desire must not be so overwhelming as to make every one feel uncomfortable if she loses. If she destroys the pleasure of her neighbors by sulking, by snubbing or scolding her partner, she has only herself to thank if she is not invited to card parties. The habitual late-comer is also likely to be left out. The person who arrives after every one has begun to play, or who leaves before the games are over, interferes seriously with the pleasure of others. As we have said above, the hostess does not play when many persons are present, in order that she may be free to receive late-comers and to have a general supervision of the comfort and pleasure of her guests.

Bridge parties may be arranged for the afternoon or evening, or they may take place in connection with a luncheon or a dinner. In either of the latter cases it suffices to have lemonade or some other cooling drink handed to the guests as they sit at the card-table. Some hostesses offer sandwiches also, or give ices in the evening; others serve tea in the afternoon. Where guests are invited to the card party only, a light supper is served in the evening. Hostesses who expect to have bridge follow a dinner should either invite card-players only or else arrange for the entertainment of those who do not take part in the game. It is rather forlorn for a single couple to be left out in the cold when the players retire to another room and shut the doors to avoid being disturbed. The former, having no one save their hosts to talk to, soon take their leave.