Chapter XVI: Marriage, the Home and the Family (1)

NECESSITY OF MARRIAGE. The house of the Lord is a house of order and not a house of confusion; and that means that the man is not without the woman in the Lord, neither is the woman without the man in the Lord; and that no man can be saved and exalted in the kingdom of God without the woman, and no woman can reach the perfection and exaltation in the kingdom of God alone. That is what it means. God instituted marriage in the beginning. He made man in his own image and likeness, male and female, and in their creation it was designed that they should be united together in sacred bonds of marriage, and one is not perfect without the other. Furthermore, it means that there is no union for time and eternity that can be perfected outside of the law of God, and the order of his house. Men may desire it, they may go through the form of it, in this life, but it will be of no effect except it be done and sanctioned by divine authority, in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost.--_Apr. C. R.,_ 1913, pp. 118-119.

MARRIAGE, GOD--ORDAINED AND SANCTIONED. "And again, I say unto you, that whoso forbiddeth to marry is not ordained of God, for marriage is ordained of God unto men." (Doc. and Cov. 49:15)

I desire to emphasize this. I want the young men of Zion to realize that this institution of marriage is not a man-made institution. It is of God. It is honorable, and no man who is of marriageable age is living his religion who remains single. It is not simply devised for the convenience alone of man, to suit his own notions, and his own ideas; to marry and then divorce, to adopt and then to discard, just as he pleases. There are great consequences connected with it, consequences which reach beyond this present time, into all {342} eternity, for thereby souls are begotten into the world, and men and women obtain their being in the world. Marriage is the preserver of the human race. Without it, the purposes of God would be frustrated; virtue would be destroyed to give place to vice and corruption, and the earth would be void and empty.

Neither are the relationships that exist, or should exist, between parents and children, and between children and parents, of an ephemeral nature, nor of a temporal character. They are of eternal consequence, reaching beyond the veil, in spite of all that we can do. The man, and the woman who are the agents, in the providence of God, to bring living souls into the world, are made before God and the heavens, as responsible for these acts as is God himself responsible for the works of his own hands, and for the revelation of his own wisdom. The man and the woman who engage in this ordinance of matrimony are engaging in something that is of such far-reaching character, and is of such vast importance, that thereby hangs life and death, and eternal increase. Thereupon depends eternal happiness, or eternal misery. For this reason, God has guarded this sacred institution by the most severe penalties, and has declared that whosoever is untrue to the marriage relation, whosoever is guilty of adultery, shall be put to death. This is scriptural law, though it is not practiced today, because modern civilization does not recognize the laws of God in relation to the moral status of mankind. The Lord commanded, "Whosoever sheddeth innocent blood, by man shall his blood be shed." Thereby God has given the law. Life is an important thing. No man has any right to take life, unless God commanded it. The law of God as to violation of the marriage covenant is just as strict, and is on a parallel with law against murder notwithstanding the former is not carried out. * * *

Now, every young person throughout the Church should {343} understand this very thoroughly. The Church authorities and the teachers of our associations should inculcate the sacredness, and teach the duty of marriage, as it has been revealed in the latter days to us. There should be a reform in the Church in this regard, and a sentiment created in favor of honorable marriage, and that would prevent any young man, or any young woman, who is a member of the Church, from marrying except by that authority which is sanctioned of God. And no man holding the priesthood who is worthy and of age should remain unmarried. They should also teach that the law of chastity is one of the most vital importance, both to children, and to men and to women. It is a vitally important principle to the children of God in all their lives, from the cradle to the grave. God has fixed dreadful penalties against the transgression of his law of chastity, of virtue, of purity. When the law of God shall be in force among men, they will be cut off who are not absolutely pure and unsoiled and spotless--both men and women. We expect the women to be pure, we expect them to be spotless and without blemish, and it is as necessary and important for man to be pure and virtuous as for woman; indeed, no woman would ever be other than pure if men were so. The gospel of Jesus Christ is the law of love, and love of God with the whole heart and mind is the greatest commandment, and the next is like unto it: love thy neighbor as thyself. This also should be remembered in the marriage relation, for, while it is said that the desires of the woman shall be to her husband, and he shall rule over her, it is intended that that rule shall be in love and not in tyranny. God never rules tyrannically, except when men so corrupt themselves that they are unfit to live. Then, and under such conditions, it is the story of all his dealings with mankind, that he sends judgment upon them and wipes them out and destroys them.--_Improvement Era,_ July, 1902, pp. 713-717.

RIGHTEOUSNESS AND NECESSITY OF MARRIAGE. Many {344} people imagine that there is something sinful in marriage; there is an apostate tradition to that effect. This is a false and very harmful idea. On the contrary, God not only commends but he commands marriage. While man was yet immortal, before sin had entered the world, our heavenly Father himself performed the first marriage. He united our first parents in the bonds of holy matrimony, and commanded them to be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth. This command he has never changed, abrogated or annulled; but it has continued in force throughout all the generations of mankind.

Without marriage the purposes of God would be frustrated, so far as this world is concerned, for there would be none, to obey his other commands.

There appears to be a something beyond and above the reasons apparent to the human mind why chastity brings strength and power to the peoples of the earth, but it is so.

Today a flood of iniquity is overwhelming the civilized world. One great reason therefor is the neglect of marriage; it has lost its sanctity in the eyes of the great majority. It is at best a civil contract, but more often an accident or a whim, or a means of gratifying the passions. And when the sacredness of the covenant is ignored or lost sight of, then a disregard of the marriage vows, under the present moral training of the masses, is a mere triviality, a trifling indiscretion.

The neglect of marriage, this tendency to postpone its responsibilities until middle life, that so perniciously affects Christendom, is being felt in the midst of the Saints.

Certainly we are not in favor of the very early marriages that prevailed a few centuries ago.

But what we wish to impress upon the Saints is that the legitimate union of the sexes is a law of God, that to be blessed of him, we must honor that law; that if we do not do so the mere fact that we are called by his name will not {345} save us from the evils that neglect of this law entails, that indeed we are only his people when we observe his law; that when we do not do so we may expect the same unfortunate results to come upon us as flow to the rest of humanity from the same causes.

We believe that every man holding the holy priesthood should be married, with the very few exceptions of those who through infirmities of mind or body are not fit for marriage. Every man is a worse man in proportion as he is unfit for the married state. We hold that no man who is marriageable is fully living his religion who remains unmarried. He is doing a wrong to himself by retarding his progress, by narrowing his experiences, and to society by the undesirable example that he sets to others, as well as he, himself, being a dangerous factor in the community.

We say to our young people, get married, and marry aright. Marry in the faith, and let the ceremony be performed in the place God has appointed. Live so that you may be worthy of this blessing. If, however, obstacles, not at present removable, prevent this most perfect form of marriage, have your bishop perform the ceremony, and then, at the earliest possible moment, go to the temple. But do not marry those out of the Church, as such unions almost invariably lead to unhappiness and quarrels and often finally to separation. Besides, they are not pleasing in the sight of heaven. The believer and unbeliever should not be yoked together, for sooner or later, in time or in eternity, they must be divided again.

And now we desire with holy zeal to emphasize the enormity of sexual sins. Though often regarded as insignificant by those not knowing the will of God, they are, in his eyes an abomination, and if we are to remain his favored people they must be shunned as the gates of hell. The evil results of these sins are so patent in vice, crime, misery and disease that it would appear that all, young and old, must {346} perceive and sense them. They are destroying the world. If we are to be preserved we must abhor them, shun them, not practice the least of them, for they weaken and enervate, they kill man spiritually, they make him unfit for the company of the righteous and the presence of God.--_Juvenile Instructor,_ Vol. 37, p. 400, July 1, 1902.

MALE AND FEMALE ENTER HEAVEN. No man will ever enter there until he has consummated his mission; for we have come here to be conformed to the likeness of God. He made us in the beginning in his own image and in his own likeness, and he made us male and female. We never could be in the image of God if we were not both male and female. Read the Scriptures, and you will see it for yourselves as God has made it. He has made us in his own form and likeness, and here we are male and female, parents and children. And we must become more and more like him--more like him in love, in charity, in forgiveness, in patience, long-suffering and forbearance, in purity of thought and action, intelligence, and in all respects, that we may be worthy of exaltation in his presence. It is for this that we have come to the earth. This is the work that we have to perform. God has shown us the way and given us the means by which we may consummate and fill our mission upon this earth and perfect our destiny; for we are destined and foreordained to become like God, and unless we do become like him we will never be permitted to dwell with him. When we become like him you will find that we will be presented before him in the form in which we were created, male and female. The woman will not go there alone, and the man will not go there alone, and claim exaltation. They may attain a degree of salvation alone, but when they are exalted they will be exalted according to the law of the celestial kingdom. They cannot be exalted in any other way, neither the living nor the dead. It is well for us to learn something about why we build temples, {347} and why we administer in them for the dead as well as for the living. We do this that we may become like unto him, and dwell with him eternally; that we may become sons of God, heirs of God and joint heirs with Jesus Christ.--_Tabernacle Sermon,_ June 12, 1898.

MARRIAGE TO REPLENISH THE EARTH. Those who have taken upon themselves the responsibility of wedded life should see to it that they do not abuse the course of nature; that they do not destroy the principle of life within them, nor violate any of the commandments of God. The command which he gave in the beginning to multiply and replenish the earth is still in force upon the children of men. Possibly no greater sin could be committed by the people who have embraced this gospel than to prevent or to destroy life in the manner indicated. We are born into the world that we may have life, and we live that we may have a fulness of joy, and if we will obtain a fulness of joy, we must obey the law of our creation and the law by which we may obtain the consummation of our righteous hopes and desires--life eternal.--_Apr. C. R.,_ 1900, p. 40.

ETERNAL MARRIAGE. Why did he teach us the principle of eternal union of man and wife? Because God knew that we were his children here, to remain his children forever and ever, and that we were just as truly individuals, and that our individuality was as identical as that of the Son of God, and would therefore continue, worlds without end, so that the man receiving his wife by the power of God, for time and for all eternity, would have the right to claim her and she to claim her husband, in the world to come. Neither would be changed, except from mortality to immortality; neither would be other than himself or herself, but they will have their identity in the world to come precisely as they exercise their individuality and enjoy their identity here. God has revealed this principle, and it has its bearings upon the evidence that we possess of the actual, {348} literal resurrection of the body, just as it is and as the prophets have declared it in the Book of Mormon.--_Apr. C. R.,_ 1912, pp. 136-137; Mosiah 15:20-23; 16:7-11; Alma 40.

ETERNITY OF THE FAMILY ORGANIZATIONS. Our associations (family) are not exclusively intended for this life, for time, as we distinguish it from eternity. We live for time and for eternity. We form associations and relations for time and all eternity. Our affections and our desires are found fitted and prepared to endure not only throughout the temporal or mortal life, but through all eternity. Who are there besides the Latter-day Saints who contemplate the thought that beyond the grave we will continue in the family organization? the father, the mother, the children recognizing each other in the relations which they owe to each other and in which they stand to each other? this family organization being a unit in the great and perfect organization of God's work, and all destined to continue throughout time and eternity?

We are living for eternity and not merely for the moment. Death does not part us from one another, if we have entered into sacred relationships with each other by virtue of the authority that God has revealed to the children of men. Our relationships are formed for eternity. We are immortal beings, and we are looking forward to the growth that is to be attained in an exalted life after we have proved ourselves faithful and true to the covenants that we have entered into here, and then we will receive a fulness of joy. A man and woman who have embraced the gospel of Jesus Christ and who have begun life together, should be able by their power, example and influence to cause their children to emulate them in lives of virtue, honor, and in integrity to the kingdom of God which will redound to their own interest and salvation. No one can advise my children with greater earnestness and solicitude for their happiness and salvation than I can myself. Nobody has more {349} interest in the welfare of my own children than I have. I cannot be satisfied without them. They are part of me. They are mine; God has given them to me, and I want them to be humble and submissive to the requirements of the gospel. I want them to do right, and to be right in every particular, so that they will be worthy of the distinction that the Lord has given them in being numbered among his covenant people who are choice above all other people, because they have made sacrifice for their own salvation in the truth. Speaking of the fashions of the world, I do not care to say very much on the subject, but I do think that we live in an age the very trend of which is to vice and wickedness. I believe that to a very large extent the fashions of the day, and especially the fashions of women, have a tendency to evil and not to virtue or modesty, and I deplore that evident fact for you see it on every hand. Young men want to get homes that are palatial, that are fine in all their appointments, and as modern as anybody else's before they will get married. I think it is a mistake. I think that young men and young women, too, should be willing, even at this day, and in the present condition of things, to enter the sacred bonds of marriage together and fight their way together to success, meet their obstacles and their difficulties, and cleave together to success, and cooperate in their temporal affairs, so that they shall succeed. Then they will learn to love one another better, and will be more united throughout their lives, and the Lord will bless them more abundantly. I regret, I think it is a crying evil, that there should exist a sentiment or a feeling among any members of the Church to curtail the birth of their children. I think that is a crime wherever it occurs, where husband and wife are in possession of health and vigor and are free from impurities that would be entailed upon their posterity. I believe that where people undertake to curtail or prevent the birth of their children that they are going to reap {350} disappointment by and by. I have no hesitancy in saying that I believe this is one of the greatest crimes of the world today, this evil practice.--_Relief Society Magazine,_ Vol. 4, June, 1917, p. 314 _et. seq._

IMPORTANCE OF MARRIAGE WITHIN THE CHURCH. I would rather go myself to the grave than to be associated with a wife outside of the bonds of the new and everlasting covenant. Now, I hold it just so sacred; but some members of the Church do not so regard the matter. Some people feel that it does not make very much difference whether a girl marries a man in the Church, full of the faith of the Gospel, or an unbeliever. Some of our young people have married outside of the Church; but very few of those who have done it have failed to come to grief. I would like to see Latter-day Saint men marry Latter-day Saint women; and Methodists marry Methodists, Catholics marry Catholics, and Presbyterians marry Presbyterians, and so on to the limit. Let them keep within the pale of their own faith and church, and marry and inter-marry there, and let the Latter-day Saints do the same thing in their Church; then we will see who comes out best in the end.--_Oct. C. R.,_ 1909, pp. 5, 6.

NO MARRIAGE IN HEAVEN. Why did Jesus teach the doctrine that there was no marrying nor giving in marriage in the other world? Why did he teach the doctrine that marriage was instituted by the Father and designed to be accomplished in this life? Why did he rebuke those who sought to entrap him when they brought to him the example of the fulfilment of the law of Moses, for Moses wrote the law that God gave him, that if a man married in Israel and died without issue, it was the duty of his brother to take his widow and raise up seed unto his brother; and when seven of these brothers--(which is doubtless a problem that these men put to the Savior in order to entrap him {351} if they could)--had taken her, to whom should she belong in the resurrection, since they all had her? Jesus declared to them, "Ye do err, not knowing the Scriptures, nor the power of God." They did not understand the principle of sealing for time and for all eternity; that what God hath joined together neither man nor death can put asunder. (Matt. 19: 6.) They had wandered from that principle. It had fallen into disuse among them; they had ceased to understand it; and consequently they did not comprehend the truth; but Christ did. She could only be the wife in eternity of the man to whom she was united by the power of God for eternity, as well as for time; and Christ understood the principle, but he did not cast his pearls before the swine that tempted him.--_Apr. C. R._ 1912, p. 136.

PLURAL MARRIAGE FORBIDDEN. Official Statement--"Inasmuch as there are numerous reports in circulation that plural marriages have been entered into contrary to the official declaration of President Woodruff, of September 26, 1890, commonly called the Manifesto, which was issued by President Woodruff and adopted by the Church at its general conference, October 6, 1890, which forbade any marriages violative of the law of the land; I Joseph F. Smith, President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, hereby affirm and declare that no such marriages have been solemnized with the sanction, consent or knowledge of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I hereby announce that all such marriages are prohibited, and if any officer or member of the Church shall assume to solemnize or enter into any such marriage he will be deemed in transgression against the Church and will be liable to be dealt with according to the rules and regulations thereof, and excommunicated therefrom.

"Joseph F. Smith,

"President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints."

--_Apr. C. R.,_ 1904, p. 75.

{352} FURTHER STATEMENT. We have announced in previous conferences, as it was announced by President Woodruff, as it was announced by President Snow, and as it was reannounced by me and my brethren and confirmed by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, plural marriages have ceased in the Church. There isn't a man today in this Church or anywhere else, outside of it, who has authority to solemnize a plural marriage--not one! There is no man or woman in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who is authorized to contract a plural marriage. It is not permitted, and we have been endeavoring to the utmost of our ability to prevent men from being led by some designing person into an unfortunate condition that is forbidden by the conferences, and by the voice of the Church, a condition that has to some extent, at least, brought reproach upon the people. I want to say that we have been doing all in our power to prevent it or to stop it; and in order that we might do this, we have been seeking, to our utmost, to find the men who have been the agents and the cause of leading people into it. We find it very difficult to trace them but when we do find them, and can prove it upon them, we will deal with them as we have dealt with others that we have been able to find.--_Apr. C. R.,_ 1911, p. 8.

MARRIAGE AND LARGE FAMILIES DESIRABLE. Bachelorhood and small families carry to the superficial mind the idea that they are desirable because they bring with them the minimum of responsibility. The spirit that shirks responsibility shirks labor. Idleness and pleasure take the place of industry and strenuous effort. The love of pleasure and of an easy life in turn make demands upon young men who refuse to look upon marriage and its consequent family enlargement as a sacred duty. The real fault lies with the young men. The license of the age leads them from paths of duty and responsibility to the pitfalls of a pleasure-loving {353} world. Their sisters are the victims of neglect and of a great social and family wrong.

Women would marry if they could, and would accept cheerfully the responsibilities of family life. This loss to the home is a loss the nation must feel, as years go on. Time will vindicate the laws of God and the truth that individual human happiness is found in duty and not in pleasure and freedom from care.

The spirit of the world is contagious. We cannot live in the midst of such social conditions without suffering from the effects of their allurements. Our young people will be tempted to follow the example of the world about them. There is already a strong tendency to make sport of the obligations to marry. Pretexts of ambition are set up as an excuse to postpone marriage till some special object is attained. Some of our leading young men desire to complete first a course of study at home or abroad. Being natural leaders in society their example is dangerous and the excuse is one of questionable propriety. It were better far that many such young men never went to college than that the excuse of college life be made the reason for postponing marriage beyond the proper age.--_Juvenile Instructor,_ Vol. 40, pp. 240, 241, April 15, 1905.

BE TRUE TO YOUR WIVES AND CHILDREN. And oh! my brethren, be true to your families, be true to your wives and children. Teach them the way of life. Do not allow them to get so far from you that they will become oblivious to you or to any principle of honor, purity or truth. Teach your children so that they cannot commit sin without violating their conscience, teach them the truth, that they may not depart from it. Bring them up in the way they should go, and when they get old they will not depart from it. If you will keep your boys close to your heart, within the clasp of your arms; if you will make them to feel that you love them, that you are their parents, that they are your {354} children, and keep them near to you, they will not go very far from you, and they will not commit any very great sin. But it is when you turn them out of the home, turn them out of your affection--out into the darkness of the night into the society of the depraved or degraded; it is when they become tiresome to you, or you are tired of their innocent noise and prattle at home, and you say, "Go off somewhere else,"--it is this sort of treatment of your children that drives them from you, and helps to make criminals and infidels of them. You cannot afford to do this. How would I feel to enter into the kingdom of God--(if such a thing were possible) and see one of my children outside among the sorcerers, the whoremongers, and those who love and make a lie, and that because I have neglected my duty toward him or have not kept a proper restraint upon him? Do you think I shall be exalted in the kingdom of my God with this stain and blot upon my soul? I tell you, No! No man can get there until he atones for such crime as this--for it is a crime in the sight of God and man for a father to carelessly or wilfully neglect his children. This is my sentiment. Take care of your children. They are the hope of Israel, and upon them will rest by and by, responsibility of the bearing of the kingdom of God in the earth. The Lord bless them and keep them in the path of righteousness. I humbly pray, in the name of Jesus. Amen.--_Apr. C. R.,_ 1902, p. 87.

RESPECT THE RIGHTS OF OTHERS. I sincerely hope that we shall succeed in impressing upon the minds of the rising generation a sincere regard, not only for themselves, to keep themselves pure and unspotted from the world, but a sincere regard for the rights and privileges of others. Our children should be taught to respect not only their fathers and their mothers, and their brothers and sisters, but they should be taught to respect all mankind, and especially should they be instructed and taught and brought up to {355} honor the aged and the infirm, the unfortunate and the poor, the needy, and those who lack the sympathies of mankind.

We too frequently see a disposition on the part of our children to make fun of the unfortunate. A poor cripple, or a poor weak-minded person comes along, and the boys will poke fun at him, and make unbecoming remarks about him. This is entirely wrong, and such a spirit as this should never be witnessed among the children of the Latter-day Saints. They ought to be taught better at home. They should be thoroughly taught better than this in our Sunday schools, and in all the schools, so far as that is concerned, that our children attend. Our children should be taught to venerate that which is holy, that which is sacred. They should venerate the name of God. They should hold in sacred veneration the name of the Son of God. They should not take Their holy names in vain; and they should also be taught to respect and venerate the temples of God, the places of worship of their fathers and mothers. Our children should be taught also that they have rights in the house of the Lord equal to their parents and equal to their neighbors or anybody else. It always pains me to see our little ones disturbed in this right. I witnessed a little circumstance in our meeting this afternoon in the aisle; a little child was sitting by its mother on a seat. Somebody came along and took the little child off its seat, and occupied the seat himself, leaving the child to stand. I want to say to you, my brethren and sisters, that that act sent a pang to my heart. I would not, for anything in the shape of remuneration of a worldly character, grieve the heart of a little child in the house of God, lest an impression should be left upon its mind that would make the house of worship a distasteful place, and it would prefer not to come within its walls, than to come and be offended.--_Juvenile Instructor,_ Vol. 39, p. 657, Semi-Annual S. S. Conference, October 9, 1904.

MUTUAL TREATMENT OF HUSBAND, WIFE AND CHILDREN. {356} Parents, in the first place, whether they do it or not, should love and respect each other, and treat each other with respectful decorum and kindly regard, all the time. The husband should treat his wife with the utmost courtesy and respect. The husband should never insult her; he should never speak slightly of her, but should always hold her in the highest esteem in the home, in the presence of their children. We do not always do it, perhaps; some of us, perhaps, do not do it at all. But nevertheless it is true that we ought to do it. The wife, also should treat the husband with the greatest respect and courtesy. Her words to him should not be keen and cutting and sarcastic. She should not pass slurs or insinuations at him. She should not nag him. She should not try to arouse his anger or make things unpleasant about the home. The wife should be a joy to her husband, and she should live and conduct herself at home so the home will be the most joyous, the most blessed place on earth to her husband. This should be the condition of the husband, wife, the father and the mother, within the sacred precinct of that holy place, the home. Then it will be easy for the parents to instill into the hearts of their children not only love for their fathers and their mothers, not only respect and courtesy towards their parents, but love and courtesy and deference between the children at home. The little brothers will respect their little sisters. The little boys will respect one another. The little girls will respect one another and the girls and boys will respect one another, and treat one another with that love, that deference and respect that should be observed in the home on the part of the little children. Then it will be easy for the Sunday school teacher to continue the training of the child under the hallowed influence of the Sabbath school; and the child will be tractable and easily led, because the foundation of a correct education has been laid in the heart and mind of the child at home. The teacher can then help the {357} little children, brought up under these proper influences, to render respect and courtesy to all men and especially to the unfortunate, the aged and the infirm.--_Apr. C. R.,_ 1905, pp. 84-85.

WE SHOULD BE EXAMPLES TO OUR FAMILIES. When I think of our mothers, the mothers of our children, and realize that under the inspiration of the gospel they live virtuous, pure honorable lives, true to their husbands, true to their children, true to their convictions of the gospel, oh, how my soul goes out in pure love for them how noble and how God-given, how choice, how desirable and how indispensable they are to the accomplishment of God's purposes and the fulfilment of his decrees! My brethren, can you mistreat your wives, the mothers of your children? Can you help treating them with love and kindness? Can you help trying to make their lives as comfortable and happy as possible, lightening their burdens to the utmost of your ability, making life pleasant for them and for their children in their homes? How can you help it? How can any one help feeling an intense interest in the mother of his children, and also in his children? If we possess the Spirit of God, we can not do otherwise. It is only when men depart from the right spirit, when they digress from their duty, that they will neglect or dishonor any soul that is committed to their care. They are bound to honor their wives and children. Intelligent men, men of business, men of affairs, men who are involved constantly in the labors of life, and have to devote their energies and thought to their labors and duties, may not enjoy as many comforts with their families as they would like, but if they have the Spirit of the Lord with them in the performance of their temporal duties, they will never neglect the mothers of their children, nor their children. They will not fail to teach them the principles of life and set before them a proper example. Don't do anything yourselves that you would have {358} to say to your boy, "Don't do it." Live so that you can say, "My son, do as I do, follow me, emulate my example." That is the way fathers should live, every one of us; and it is a shame, a weakening, shameful thing for any member of the Church to pursue a course that he knows is not right, and that he would rather his children should not follow.--_Apr. C. R.,_ 1915, pp. 6-7.

THE TRUEST GREATNESS. After all, to do well those things which God ordained to be the common lot of all man--kind, is the truest greatness. To be a successful father or a successful mother is greater than to be a successful general or a successful statesman. One is universal and eternal greatness, the other is ephemeral. It is true that such secondary greatness may be added to that which we style commonplace; but when such secondary greatness is not added to that which is fundamental, it is merely an empty honor, and fades away from the common and universal good in life, even though it may find a place in the desultory pages of history. Our first care, after all, brings us back to that beautiful admonition of our Savior: "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." (Matt. 6:33.)

We should never be discouraged in those daily tasks which God has ordained to the common lot of man. Each day's labor should be undertaken in a joyous spirit and with the thought and conviction that our happiness and eternal welfare depend upon doing well that which we ought to do, that which God has made it our duty to do. Many are unhappy because they imagine that they should be doing something unusual or something phenomenal. Some people would rather be the blossom of a tree and be admiringly seen than be an enduring part of the tree and live the commonplace life of the tree's existence.

Let us not be trying to substitute an artificial life for the true one. He is truly happy who can see and appreciate {359} the beauty with which God has adorned the commonplace things of life.--_Juvenile Instructor,_ Vol. 40, pp. 752-3, Dec. 15, 1905.

PARENTS RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR CHILDREN. The parents in Zion will be held responsible for the acts of their children, not only until they become eight years old, but, perhaps, throughout all the lives of their children, provided they have neglected their duty to their children while they were under their care and guidance and the parents were responsible for them.--_Apr. C. R.,_ 1910, p. 6.

THE FATHER THE PRESIDING AUTHORITY OF THE FAMILY. There is no higher authority in matters relating to the family organization, and especially when that organization is presided over by one holding the higher priesthood, than that of the father. The authority is time honored, and among the people of God in all dispensations it has been highly respected and often emphasized by the teachings of the prophets who were inspired of God. The patriarchal order is of divine origin and will continue throughout time and eternity. There is, then, a particular reason why men, women and children should understand this order and this authority in the households of the people of God, and seek to make it what God intended it to be, a qualification and preparation for the highest exaltation of his children. In the home the presiding authority is always vested in the father, and in all home affairs and family matters there is no other authority paramount. To illustrate this principle, a single incident will perhaps suffice. It sometimes happens that the elders are called in to administer to the members of a family. Among these elders there may be presidents of stakes, apostles, or even members of the first presidency of the Church. It is not proper under these circumstances for the father to stand back and expect the elders to direct the administration of this important ordinance. The father is there. It is his right and it is his duty {360} to preside. He should select the one who is to administer the oil, and the one who is to be mouth in prayer, and he should not feel that because there are present presiding authorities in the Church that he is therefore divested of his rights to direct the administration of that blessing of the gospel in his home. (If the father be absent, the mother should request the presiding authority present to take charge.) The father presides at the table, at prayer, and gives general directions relating to his family life whoever may be present. Wives and children should be taught to feel that the patriarchal order in the kingdom of God has been established for a wise and beneficent purpose, and should sustain the head of the household and encourage him in the discharge of his duties, and do all in their power to aid him in the exercise of the rights and privileges which God has bestowed upon the head of the home. This patriarchal order has its divine spirit and purpose, and those who disregard it under one pretext or another are out of harmony with the spirit of God's laws as they are ordained for recognition in the home. It is not merely a question of who is perhaps the best qualified. Neither is it wholly a question of who is living the most worthy life. It is a question largely of law and order, and its importance is seen often from the fact that the authority remains and is respected long after a man is really unworthy to exercise it.

This authority carries with it a responsibility and a grave one, as well as its rights and privileges, and men can not be too exemplary in their lives, nor fit themselves too carefully to live in harmony with this important and God-ordained rule of conduct in the family organization. Upon this authority certain promises and blessings are predicated, and those who observe and respect this authority have certain claims on divine favor which they cannot have except they respect and observe the laws that God has established for the regulation and authority of the home. "Honor thy {361} father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee," was a fundamental law to ancient Israel, and is binding upon every member of the Church today, for the law is eternal.

The necessity, then, of organizing the patriarchal order and authority of the home rests upon principle as well as upon the person who holds that authority, and among the Latter-day Saints family discipline, founded upon the law of the patriarchs, should be carefully cultivated, and fathers will then be able to remove many of the difficulties that now weaken their position in the home, through unworthy children.

The principles here set forth are of more importance than many parents have heretofore attached to them, and the unfortunate position today in the homes of many of the elders of Israel is directly traceable to a want of appreciation of their truthfulness.--_Juvenile Instructor,_ Vol. 37, p. 148, March 1, 1902.

DUTIES OF FATHERS. May the fathers in Israel live as they should live; treat their wives as they should treat them; make their homes as comfortable as they possibly can; lighten the burden upon their companions as much as possible; set a proper example before their children; teach them to meet with them in prayer, morning and night, and whenever they sit down to partake of food, to acknowledge the mercy of God in giving them the food that they eat and the raiment that they wear, and acknowledge the band of God in all things. This is our duty, and if we do not do it the Lord will be displeased, for he has said so. He is only pleased with those who acknowledge his hand in all things._--Oct. C. R.,_ 1909, p. 9; Doc. and Cov. 59: 7, 21.

MOTHERHOOD THE FOUNDATION OF HOME AND NATION. Motherhood lies at the foundation of happiness in the home, and of prosperity in the nation. God has laid upon men and women very sacred obligations with respect to motherhood, {362} and they are obligations that cannot be disregarded without invoking divine displeasure. In I Timothy 2:13-15, we are told that "Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety." Can she be saved without child-bearing? She indeed takes an awful risk if she wilfully disregards what is a pronounced requirement of God. How shall she plead her innocence when she is not innocent? How shall she excuse her guilt when it is fastened upon her?

The question of parental obligation in the matter of children is not generally denied. A failure to fulfill the obligation, however, is too frequently excused.

"Children," we are told, "are a heritage of the Lord;" they are also, the Psalmist tells us, "his reward." If children are cut off from their birthright, how shall the Lord be rewarded? They are not a source of weakness and poverty to family life, for they bring with them certain divine blessings that make for the prosperity of the home and the nation. "As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate." (Psalm 127:4, 5)

What answer shall men and women make in excuse of conduct which contravenes the commandments of God? Those whose hearts are in touch with God's most sacred laws will make great sacrifices honestly to fulfil them.

There has, however, of late arisen a condition in our social life that is working against the divine requirements of motherhood. Men and women plead the enormous increase in the cost of child-bearing. The requirements for motherhood in matters of doctor's fees, nurses' bills and hospital charges, are so great as to discourage men and women of {363} slender means. The burden of such expenses is certainly becoming great, and if they are likely to stand directly in the way of God's requirement, something should be done either to remove them or mitigate them, and some means should be provided that will protect the family and the nation against destruction. It is a problem well worthy the attention of our law-makers, who appropriate generously in matters that are insignificant when compared with the health, wealth and physical prosperity of the nation that encourages the birth of children.--_Juvenile Instructor,_ Vol. 50, pp. 290, 291, May, 1915.

HUSBAND'S SUCCESS DEPENDENT UPON WIFE'S FITNESS. There is no organization or government in the world so perfectly planned for the education of men and women to executive responsibilities as is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Government in the home and in the Church constitutes an important part in the lives of the people, and the government in the home is the basis of all successful government in church or state. In the home the mother is the principal disciplinarian in early child life, and her influence and discipline determine in a great measure the ability of her children to assume in manhood and womanhood the larger governments in church and state.

In addition, however, to home government, women often stand with their husbands in responsible places and share in some measure the success or failure which characterizes their husbands' administration of affairs. In selecting men to occupy responsible positions in the Church, it not infrequently happens that a useful and competent man is barred from consideration because of the deplorable want of fitness in the wife, and though a wife may not always bar a husband's opportunities, she may, nevertheless, prove a great hindrance to him in the discharge of the duties that belong to his office. If our sisters could only realize how helpful they might be to their husbands who hold responsible {364} positions in the Church, and if they would only take pride and pleasure in their husbands' administration of affairs, the conduct of men in public office would in many instances be very greatly improved.

The word and the law of God are as important for women who would reach wise conclusions as they are for men; and women should study and consider the problems of this great latter-day work from the standpoint of God's revelations, and as they may be actuated by his Spirit, which it is their right to receive through the medium of sincere and heartfelt prayer. A woman without heartfelt devotion for the things of God is not prepared to stand at her husband's side and enjoy his confidence in the graver responsibilities that devolve upon him in the government of the Church. Husbands are justified in withholding their confidence from and in refusing to be influenced by wives whose worldly ambitions and want of appreciation of divine things lead them to contend for personal advantages and selfish gains. Wives of leaders should have a generous feeling for all that relates to the affairs over which their husbands preside. Such women should not be exclusive in their social relations, and should avoid the evils that frequently come from yielding to the influence and views of a small coterie that may have selfish aims and personal advantages to serve.--_Juvenile Instructor,_ _Vol._ 38, pp. 371, 372, 1903.

DUTY OF PARENTS. It is the duty of Latter-day Saints to teach their children the truth, to bring them up in the way they should go, to teach them the first principles of the gospel, the necessity of baptism for the remission of sins, and for membership in the Church of Christ; teaching them the necessity of receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands, which will lead them into all truth, and which will reveal to them things that have passed and things which are to come, and show to them more clearly those things which are present with them, that they may comprehend {365} the truth, and that they may walk in the light as Christ is in the light; that they may have fellowship with him and that his blood may cleanse them from all sin.--_Apr. C. R.,_ 1912, p. 135.

WATCH YOUR CHILDREN. Some people have grown to possess such unlimited confidence in their children that they do not believe it possible for them to be led astray or to do wrong. They do not believe they could do wrong, because they have such confidence in them. The result is they turn them loose, morning, noon and night, to attend all kinds of entertainments and amusement, often in company with those whom they know not and do not understand. Some of our children are so innocent that they do not suspect evil, and, therefore, they are off their guard and are trapped into evil.--_Oct. C. R.,_ 1909, p. 4.

DUTY TO TEACH CHILDREN. Another great and important duty devolving upon this people is to teach their children, from their cradle until they become men and women, every principle of the gospel, and endeavor, as far as it lies in the power of the parents, to instil into their hearts a love for God, the truth, virtue, honesty, honor and integrity to everything that is good. That is important for all men and women who stand at the head of a family in the household of faith. Teach your children the love of God, teach them to love the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Teach them to love their fellowmen, and especially to love their fellow members in the Church that they may be true to their fellowship with the people of God. Teach them to honor the priesthood, to honor the authority that God has bestowed upon his Church for the proper government of his Church.--_Apr. C. R.,_ 1915, pp. 4, 5.