Chapter I: Preface

Hints on Child-Training may be helpful, where a formal treatise on the subject would prove bewildering. It is easier to see how one phase or another of children’s needs is to be met, than it is to define the relation of that phase of the case to all other phases, or to a system that includes them all. Therefore it is that this series of Hints is ventured by me for the benefit of young parents, although I would not dare attempt a systematic treatise on the entire subject here touched upon.

Thirty years ago, when I was yet a young father, a friend, who knew that I had for years been interested in the study of methods of education, said to me, “Trumbull, what is your theory of child-training?” “Theory?” I responded. “I have no theory in that matter. I had lots of theories before I had any children; but now I do, with fear and trembling, in every case just that which seems to be the better thing for the hour, whether it agrees with any of my old theories or not.”

Whatever theory of child-training may show itself in these Hints, has been arrived at by induction in the process of my experiences with children since I had to deal with the matter practically, apart from any preconceived view of the principles involved. Every suggestion in these Hints is an outcome of experiment and observation in my life as a father and a grandfather, while it has been carefully considered in the light of the best lessons of practical educators on every side.

These Hints were begun for the purpose of giving help to a friend. They were continued because of the evident popular interest in them. They are sent out in this completed form in the hope that they will prove of service to parents who are feeling the need of something more practical in the realm of child-training than untested theories.

H. CLAY TRUMBULL.

PHILADELPHIA, _September 15, 1890_.

CONTENTS.

I. PAGE

CHILD-TRAINING: WHAT IS IT? 11

II.

THE DUTY OF TRAINING CHILDREN 17

III.

SCOPE AND LIMITATIONS OF CHILD-TRAINING 23

IV.

DISCERNING A CHILD’S SPECIAL NEED OF TRAINING 29

V.

WILL-TRAINING, RATHER THAN WILL-BREAKING 37

VI.

THE PLACE OF “MUST” IN TRAINING 53

VII.

DENYING A CHILD WISELY 61

VIII.

HONORING A CHILD’S INDIVIDUALITY 71

IX.

LETTING ALONE AS A MEANS OF CHILD-TRAINING 83

X.

TRAINING A CHILD TO SELF-CONTROL 93

XI.

TRAINING A CHILD NOT TO TEASE 101

XII.

TRAINING A CHILD’S APPETITE 109

XIII.

TRAINING A CHILD AS A QUESTIONER 119

XIV.

TRAINING A CHILD’S FAITH 129

XV.

TRAINING CHILDREN TO SABBATH OBSERVANCE 139

XVI.

TRAINING A CHILD IN AMUSEMENTS 155

XVII.

TRAINING A CHILD TO COURTESY 165

XVIII.

CULTIVATING A CHILD’S TASTE IN READING 175

XIX.

THE VALUE OF TABLE-TALK 187

XX.

GUIDING A CHILD IN COMPANIONSHIPS 197

XXI.

NEVER PUNISH A CHILD IN ANGER 205

XXII.

SCOLDING IS NEVER IN ORDER 217

XXIII.

DEALING TENDERLY WITH A CHILD’S FEARS 223

XXIV.

THE SORROWS OF CHILDREN 239

XXV.

THE PLACE OF SYMPATHY IN CHILD-TRAINING 247

XXVI.

INFLUENCE OF THE HOME ATMOSPHERE 257

XXVII.

THE POWER OF A MOTHER’S LOVE 263

XXVIII.

ALLOWING PLAY TO A CHILD’S IMAGINATION 277

XXIX.

GIVING ADDED VALUE TO A CHILD’S CHRISTMAS 283

XXX.

GOOD-NIGHT WORDS 291

INDEX 301