Chapter IV: Act II: Scene 1

Jeppe.

(Jeppe is represented lying in the Baron's bed, a gold embroidered dressing gown on a chair; he awakes, rubs his eyes, looks around and becomes frightened; rubs his eyes again, feels of his head and finds a gold embroidered nightcap; he moistens his eyelids, rubs them again, turns the nightcap around and examines it, looks at his fine shirt, at the robe, at everything, with strange grimaces. Meanwhile soft music is heard, at which Jeppe folds his hands and weeps; when the music stops he begins to speak.)

But what is this? What sort of splendor is this and how have I come here? Do I dream, or am I awake? No, I am quite awake. Where is my wife, where are my children, where is my house, and where is Jeppe? Everything is changed, myself, too. Ah, what can it be? What can it be? (He calls softly and fearfully.) Nille! Nille! Nille! I believe that I have got into Heaven, Nille, and that without deserving it. But, can it be me? It seems to me it is; then again, it seems to me it isn't. When I feel of my back, which is still sore from the blows I got, when I hear myself speak, when I feel of my hollow tooth, it seems to me that it's me. When, on the other hand, I look at my cap, my shirt, and on all the fine things before me, and hear the beautiful music, I'll be hanged if I can get it into my head that it's me. No, it isn't me. I am a scoundrel a thousand times if it's me! But I wonder if I am dreaming. It doesn't seem so. I'll try to pinch my arm; if it doesn't hurt, then I dream; if it hurts, then I don't dream.--Yes, I felt it, I am awake; to be sure I am awake; no one can deny that. Because if I were not awake I could not--but how can I be awake when I stop to think? It cannot fail then that I am Jeppe on the Hill; I certainly know that I am a poor peasant, a serf, a rascal, a scoundrel, a hungry maggot, a poor worm! But how can I at the same time be king and lord of the castle? No, it must be only a dream. Therefore, it is best to have patience till I wake up. (The music is again heard and Jeppe begins to cry.) Ah! But can a person hear such things in his sleep? That is impossible! But if it is a dream, then I wish that I may never wake up again, and if I am mad, then may I never become sane; for I should sue the doctor who cured me and curse him who woke me up. But I neither dream nor am mad, for I can remember my whole life. I remember that my sainted father was Niels on the Hill, my grandfather, Jeppe on the Hill, my wife's name is Nille, her switch, Master Erik, my sons, Hans, Christopher and Niels. But see! Now I know: it is the other life, it is paradise, it is heaven! I must have drunk too much yesterday at Jakob Skomager's, died and immediately come to heaven. Death cannot be so awful as they would make one believe, since I didn't even feel it. Now, perhaps, Herr Jesper is standing this minute in the pulpit making a funeral sermon over my body and saying: Such was the end of Jeppe on the Hill; he lived like a soldier and died like a soldier. Of course, one might question whether I died on land or sea, since I went out of the world pretty well soaked. Ah, Jeppe, this is something different from going four miles to town to buy soap, from lying on straw and from getting whipped by your wife. Ah! To what bliss have not your suffering and dark days been transformed? Ah! I must weep from joy when I think that this has come to me through no merit of my own. But one thing comes to my mind: I am so thirsty that my lips are nearly parched. If I should wish myself alive again, it would be only that I might get a mug of beer to quench my thirst; for what good does all this glory do me when I must die again of thirst? I remember the preacher has often said that one neither hungers nor thirsts in heaven and further that one finds there all his deceased friends. But I am nearly dying from thirst. I am also quite alone; I don't see a soul. I ought to find my grandfather at least, who was such a decent person that he never left a shilling of debt to his landlord. Of course, I know that many people have lived just as decent lives as I have, why, then, should I alone come to heaven? Therefore, it can't be heaven. But what can it be? I am not asleep, I am not awake; I am not dead, I am not alive; I am not crazy, I am not sane; I am Jeppe on the Hill, I am not Jeppe on the Hill; I am poor, I am rich; I am a poor peasant, I am a king. Ah!--Ah!--Ah! Help! Help! Help!

(At the great commotion several people come in who in the meantime have stood by, watching to see how he would act.)

Scene 2.

Valet. A lackey. Jeppe.

=Valet=--I wish your lordship a hearty good morning! Here's a gown if your lordship wishes to arise. Erik, fetch a towel and a wash basin.

=Jeppe=--Ah, my worshipful valet! I should be glad to arise, but I beg of you that you do not hurt me.

=Valet=--The Lord deliver me from doing your lordship any harm!

=Jeppe=--Ah, before you kill me, will you not do me the favor to tell me who I am?

=Valet=--Does not my lord know who he is?

=Jeppe=--Yesterday I was Jeppe on the Hill, but to-day--ah, I hardly know what to say!

=Valet=--We are glad to see that your lordship is in such good humor to-day, that you are pleased to jest; but heaven defend us, why does your lordship weep?

=Jeppe=--I am not your lordship. I can make my oath that I am not; for so far as I can remember I am Jeppe Nielsen on the Hill, one of the Baron's peasants. If you will send for my wife you shall find it out; but don't let her take Master Erik along.

=Erik, lackey=--This is strange. What can it be? Your lordship cannot be awake, since you never used to jest in this way.

=Jeppe=--Whether I am awake or not I cannot say; but one thing I can say and that is that I am one of the Baron's peasants who is called Jeppe on the Hill, and I have never been either Baron or Count in my life.

=Valet=--Erik, what can that be? I am afraid that his lordship is suffering from some strange disease.

=Erik=--I imagine that he is walking in his sleep, since it frequently happens that people arise, dress, eat and drink in their sleep.

=Valet=--No, Erik, I perceive that his lordship is delirious. Go and fetch a doctor immediately. Ah, your lordship, put all such thoughts away; your lordship is frightening the whole house. Does your lordship not know me?

=Jeppe=--I don't know myself; how can I then know you?

=Valet=--Ah, is it possible that I should hear such words from the lips of my gracious lord, and see him in such a pitiable condition? Ah, our unfortunate house, which must be plagued by such sorcery! Can my lord not remember what he did yesterday when he was out on the hunt?

=Jeppe=--I have never been either hunter or poacher in my life; you know that is work which may send you to prison! Never shall any soul be able to prove that I have ever hunted a hare on the lord's estate!

=Valet=--Ah, gracious lord, I was with you on the hunt myself yesterday.

=Jeppe=--Yesterday I sat at Jakob Skomager's and drank up twelve pence worth of whiskey. How could I then have been on a hunt?

=Valet=--Ah, I implore my gracious lord on my knees that he do not indulge in such talk. Erik, were the doctors sent for?

=Erik=--Yes, they are coming soon.

=Valet=--Let us assist our lord in putting on his dressing gown. Perhaps when he comes out in the fresh air it will be better. Does our lord wish to have on his gown?

=Jeppe=--Most willingly. You may do with me what you like, if only you do not take my life, for I am as innocent as an unborn babe.

Scene 3.

A valet. Erik. Jeppe. Two doctors.

=First Doctor=--We hear with great regret that your lordship is indisposed.

=Valet=--Alas, yes, doctor; he is in a pitiful state.

=Second Doctor=--How is everything with you, my gracious lord?

=Jeppe=--Quite well! Except that I am rather thirsty after the whiskey which I got at Jakob Skomager's yesterday. If you will only give me a mug of beer and let me go, then they may hang you two doctors up for all I care, because I don't need any medicine.

=First Doctor=--That is certainly a clear case of hallucinations.

=Second Doctor=--But the more violent the disease is the sooner he will get over it. Let us feel our lordship's pulse. Quid tibi videtur, domine frater?

=First Doctor=--I am not of that opinion. Such strange weaknesses must be cured in another fashion. Our lordship has had an awful and gruesome dream, which has brought the blood into such commotion and so confused his brain that he imagines himself a peasant. We must try to divert him with the things in which he finds the most pleasure; give him the wines and foods which suit him best, and play for him his favorite pieces of music.

(Lively music begins.)

=Valet=--Why, that is my lord's favorite piece.

=Jeppe=--Perhaps so. Do you always have such fun in this place?

=Valet=--As often as your lordship wishes; since it is you who gives us our wages.

=Jeppe=--But it is strange that I cannot remember what I have done in the past.

=First Doctor=--That is the result of the sickness, your lordship, that one forgets everything that he has done before. I recollect that one of my neighbors a few years ago became so delirious from strong drink that he made himself believe for two days that he had no head.

=Jeppe=--I wish that Christopher, the bailiff, would get the same idea, but he must have a sickness which is just opposite to this; since he imagined that he has a big head, while he really has none at all, as one can see from his decisions.

(They all laugh at this: Ha, ha, ha.)

=Second Doctor=--It is a pleasure to hear our lordship jest. But to come back to the story again, that same person went all over town and asked people if they had found his head, which he had lost, but he got well again and is at this day sexton in Jutland.

=Jeppe=--He might be that, even if he had not found his wits again.

(All laugh: Ha, ha, ha.)

=First Doctor=--Does my colleague remember the story of what happened ten years since to the man who imagined that his head was full of flies? He could not get rid of the notion no matter how much one argued with him, until a shrewd doctor cured him in this wise: He laid a plaster covered with dead flies on his head, and after some time he pulled it off, showed it to the patient, made him believe that they had been extracted from his head, whereupon the patient became well again.

=Second Doctor=--There are innumerable examples of such illusions. I remember also of having heard of one who made himself believe that his nose was ten feet long and warned everyone whom he met not to come too near to him.

=First Doctor=--That is what is the matter with our gracious lord. He imagines that he is a poor peasant. But he must get rid of such thoughts, then he will soon become well again.

=Jeppe=--But can it be possible that it is only imagination?

=First Doctor=--Certainly! Your lordship has heard from these stories what imagination can do.

=Jeppe=--Am I not then Jeppe on the Hill?

=Second Doctor=--No, certainly not.

=Jeppe=--Is the wicked Nille not my wife?

=First Doctor=--By no means, since my lord is a widower.

=Jeppe=--Is it then nothing but imagination that she has a switch called Master Erik?

=Second Doctor=--Purely imagination.

=Jeppe=--Is it then not true that I was to go to town yesterday to buy soap?

=First Doctor=--No.

=Jeppe=--Nor yet, that I drank up all the money at Jakob Skomager's?

=Valet=--Why, my lord was with us on a hunt all day yesterday.

=Jeppe=--Nor yet that I am henpecked?

=Valet=--Why, your wife has been dead for many years.

=Jeppe=--Ah, I am beginning to understand my weakness. I will not think of that peasant any longer, for I see that it is nothing but a dream and a mistake. Isn't it strange though how a person can fall into such an error?

=Valet=--Will it please your lordship to take a walk in the garden while we prepare a little breakfast?

=Jeppe=--To be sure, but see that you are quick about it, for I am both hungry and thirsty.

(Curtain.)