Chapter I: NEED not detail all the vicissitudes through which I passed before I (2)

Hear ye, O, my brothers, and harken unto the wise sayings I am about to send forth for thy help and satisfaction. For thus it was I was commanded by my ancestor, through his sons my fathers, to keep with great safety and accuracy this historical account of various and divers exploits by him and by them accomplished, that is to say:

* * * * *

By way of salutation then:

Know ye there was a time when the earth was liquid, and so it ever would have remained but for the following circumstances.

A mighty fish swam in the midst of the waters and his length was so great it was curved half way round the globe; so that by constantly swimming in this manner his backbone had become fixed in a half circle.

About this time there descended from Jupiter a man of mammoth stature, so tall, in fact, when he stood within the ocean his head and shoulders protruded above the surface. He had scarcely taken a hasty survey above the tumultuous waves when this gigantic fish observed him and, being almost famished (for it had eaten up all the other fish many months before), it smacked its huge jaws with such relish and vehemence the attention of this man (who, by the way, was my great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, grandfather) was attracted toward him. But my ancestor took very little care of his adversary, knowing well his power to undo him at the proper time.

And so it happened when this great fish had approached with consummate stealth and was about to seize its prey, grandfather grasped the top of a high mountain and tipped the earth over so that all the water ran off. Then it was the curvature of the fish’s spine was his destruction; for the waters being removed, so great was the weight of his body and so rigid his spine he broke entirely in two and immediately succumbed.

My grandfather at once took from him his skin which he neatly dressed and dried in the sun and ever afterward used as a horn to call his hosts together from the four quarters of the sky; which he immediately did and peopled the earth which was now dry and green and exceedingly fair to behold.

* * * * *

By way of prelude then.

In those old days when the world was peopled with giants there became classes and clans, or tribes, as they were then known, each of which was composed of the descendants of one man, and they were all such a merry lot life was considered a most excellent thing indeed.

One day my grandfather, to whom I have alluded in my salutation, went up to the North Pole. There he learned the cause of the change of seasons, and finding it exceedingly cold conceived a joke he would play upon his tribe. Thereupon he filled his horn full of the northern air and carried it back.

Now it happened the day on which he returned was bath day and the whole tribe was bathing in the lake. When he was within such distance he could put the mouth of the horn to the edge of the lake he did so and blew softly upon it.

The lake was immediately covered by a coat of ice upon which the people at once stood, for the water was becoming so cold they could not stay in it. He continued to blow on the horn and the people got so cold they began to shrivel up, and had he not at last blown all the cold out of this horn they would have shrunken into mere nothing. As it was they were so small he had to look several times to discover where they were, and he put the whole tribe in the pocket of his overcoat and carried them to his tent. He tried hard to warm them up and bring them back to their normal size, but it was impossible.

Thus it came about that this tribe became the forefathers of what are now called Pigmies and Dwarfs, and their mixture with the giants produced the present stature of the people of the earth.

* * * * *

By way of interlude then.

There was a time when the complexion of the people of the earth was red and they had bright red hair and beards; and it would have been so unto this day had not the following occurred:

There was a very warm spring in which certain of the family or tribe loved to sport. How it came about, except that some subterranean stream had broken out immediately beneath the lake, it was never known; but so it was while they were all in bathing and another tribe was looking on, the water became fiercely black and very hot. They hastened to the shore, and when they got up out of the water they were all black as midnight and the tribe on the shore became so transfixed with fear their countenances, hair, and beard changed to an absolute white. All the efforts of the medical force failed to change the first tribe from black or the second tribe from white back to their usual color.

The white tribe held a great caucus and they came in great numbers to debate the occurrence, and thus they came to be called Caucusions or Caucasians.

And so it was there came to be variations not alone in the complexion of the peoples of the earth, but in the hue of their hair and beard.

* * * * *

By way of postlude then.

So it was the mixture of tribes brought about a kind or class of people with eyes so tender and delicate the light of the sun worked them great inconvenience. They were people with pinkish-hued eyes and skin, with hair exceedingly light in color.

Owing to this their affliction they were the ones who were employed to dig wells, as they were thus freed from the attacks of the rays of the sun.

Now it happened one day while they were down a great depth digging a well the auger slipped from their hands and they listened and heard it strike something far down within the earth.

At first they were much astonished; but being a very inquisitive people they set about investigating the matter. One of them peered through the hole and suddenly rose upon his feet exclaiming he saw daylight. They hastened to the surface and told the people they had dug clear through the earth. But they were not believed, and vast numbers went into the well to look at the other side of the earth, and one philosopher was in high and brilliant feather, for he had maintained most vigorously the earth was flat, though many had told him they had been entirely around it and knew it could not be so. Yet he insisted, because the surface of the other side was likewise diversified, they had been led into a mistake.

Then happened a very astonishing thing. The next day there were gathered in the well as many as could well stand on the bottom of it of this people with the pink eyes, and so great was their excitement they jumped up and down, when the bottom suddenly gave way, and down these people went. They were sure they would be killed or fly out into space and never get back, one and all, but the bottom of the well struck on a soft and yielding soil and they were not harmed in the least.

But those who had not been down in the well at the time were filled with sorrow and despair and made long lines and dropped them down. At last they felt a tugging at a line, and on pulling it up, along with it came one of their fellows to their great joy.

This rescued one told delightful and beautiful stories about a land which had a delicious twilight always; was filled with sweet streams and odorous lakes; where large trees grew bearing excellent fruit; where were flocks of sheep of a peculiar kind, but very tender and juicy, and other animals equally fit to sustain life.

Such effect had these stories, that with one accord all the pink-eyed people descended into this new country.

In course of time it became a custom with them to celebrate their release from torture, and at such times they made great fires at the mouths of winding natural wells which led to the surface of the earth. Now, these fires were so fierce because of the draught they melted the sides of the holes and the suction carried the molten matter out into the air.

So it was volcanoes came to be used as a token of joy, as well as to communicate to the people of the earth above that these people were not only still in existence but exceedingly and gloriously happy.

Occasionally some of these people come up onto the earth on visits and they are termed Albinos.

And these people have a great many drinks which they store in great caverns by air pressure, using great electric engines for the purpose of forcing it to all parts of their realm. Once in a while the people of the earth bore down into one of these reservoirs and there spurts up one of these drinks. They are called mineral springs.

* * * * *

By way of finale then.

I am aware, according to the tradition as remitted to future generations by one of my grandfathers, the different seasons are due to the tipping of the earth by one of our ancestors prying over the North Pole. But there is a tradition which comes down my mother’s side of the family, which is so logical and so true to nature and man it deserves a place in the archives of our history. I will therefore be pardoned for inserting it here. I have had reverence at all times for the veracity of the historical account to which I allude, and I desire it understood at the outset I pass no judgment on it, but leave the matter to the reader’s acumen and discernment to distinguish and decide between them.

One of the great-grandfathers of my wife (in fact, I believe it was her remote ancestor, who of course must have been related to my remote ancestor) made weekly trips into space.

Now it so happened when leaving the earth on such occasions he did so by way of the North Pole—it may have been the south pole, for our language at that date was so meager it is impossible to discover any real distinction between the word which stands for “north” and the word representing “south,” and I am inclined to think at that early date it had not become necessary to make any distinction between the two directions, as the inhabitants were then hardly conscious of direction at all.

But be that as it may, the Pole projected a great distance into space, so that he could run out upon it and use it as a spring-board to gain momentum in starting on his journey.

And so it was one night while on earth in sleep he divulged the fact he had taken to himself another wife in one of the other planets, which knowledge so enraged his wife she went forth in search for a suitable instrument for cracking his skull. While she was gone a servant awoke him and gave him the above information. He, well knowing the capacity of his better half, conceived it a wise plan, a very wise plan indeed, to start on one of his journeys, which he lost no time in doing; but just before he reached the Pole, on glancing over his shoulder he observed his irate spouse coming after him at a tremendous rate, which so accelerated his speed that he made such a terrific spring from the Pole the earth was thrown out of plumb, and it has so remained to this day.

And the narration concludes with the information, which may be safely regarded as remarkably accurate, that his wife was so put out by his escape she vented her spite by hacking viciously at the Pole, which she thumped so heartily she loosened the masses of ice thereabouts, which immediately began to slide toward the middle of the earth, and have so continued to do down to this date, and they are now termed “icebergs,” “glaciers,” and the like.

* * * * *

By way of ending then.

I wish to impress upon him to whom this document shall descend it will always be found in company with a document written and compiled by one of my fathers, and no change must be made in the same, not so much as in a single word, for no one could be possessed of sufficient knowledge so to do properly and might by so doing convey an erroneous impression to future generations.

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VIIII

Being the first item of the Third Document, and
contains the history of the rapidly growing tree
with the golden fruit which undid a king and made
another. This document, in its several items, gives
many startling details of facts and fables not
generally known and heretofore unpublished.

THIRD DOCUMENT

STO RY begat An An Ias, who begat Wha Pur, who begat Ala Din, who begat Sin Bad, who begat El Ra Shad, who begat Mun Chau Sen (the elder), who begat Mun Chau Sen the younger (my grandfather), who submits the following Items with knowledge they will be favorably received and conscientiously preserved by his descendants:

_Item First_

My five-great-grandfather was walking in an orchard one day when he discovered a tree laden with a peculiar fruit. He gazed on it with wonder, for but the day before he had planted the sprout which had been sent to him by his grandfather. He could scarcely comprehend he was awake and in his right senses, but such was the case. The fruit seemed of gold, and as he was a poor man his heart immediately yearned for the possession of enough of it that he might buy a cow that his children might have milk; to buy a few bees that they might have honey with which to eat the milk; to buy a horse that he might no longer have to walk to the city; to buy a farm on which to raise food; to buy a few sheep to grow wool for clothing; to buy seed to sow, and to buy material with which to build a house, for they were very, very poor and had lived in a cave and subsisted on roots and things like that.

And he went up to the tree, put forth his hand to take some of the fruit, when lo, the tree grew so rapidly he could not reach the fruit. He became frenzied with the desire for it and he put forth such strength to reach the lowest shining globe his arm was lengthened thereby to a length almost sufficient to reach it, but not quite. So he persevered until his arm had grown so long he had not strength in his body to keep it longer in an upright position and it fell to the ground, from whence he could not raise it, nor did it resume its former length, but remained as it was.

He gazed aloft at the golden fruit, tears streaming down his face.

Then he started off in great haste in search of a ladder, as the tree seemed to have stopped its remarkable growth, and he was forced to drag his arm and hand after him trailing on the ground.

When he had gone a great distance he was suddenly stopped by the king, who was out riding, for the king had not ever seen a man with such an arm. In answer to the king’s question as to how he came by it, he told his story. The king immediately ordered one of his attendants to dismount, and had my forefather put on the horse and directed him to lead the way to this wonder, which they very soon reached.

Thereupon the king commanded one of his attendants (who happened to be one of the ancestors of Sin Bad) to climb the tree and throw down the fruit.

When the man began to climb, the tree began to grow above him; he climbed and climbed and climbed until he was worn out with exhaustion and slid down with such force he lay stunned for several hours.

In the meantime the king ordered his hewer to cut down the tree, which he proceeded to do with a great show of confidence. But, strange though it may seem it is nevertheless in strict accord with veracity, before the chopper could make a second stroke the cut he had made had risen above his reach by reason of the swift growth of the tree; and he was fain to desist after a long and hard struggle to strike the blows quickly enough to get two cuts in the same place.

He was at once beheaded by the order of the king, who was frantic with rage at his defeat.

He then ordered his bridgemaker to tie a chain around the tree, hitch twenty oxen to the chain, and thus pull the tree up by the roots.

Now, this driver of oxen was a vainglorious man and earnestly sought emulation in the sight of his majesty, and it was with exceeding readiness he set about obeying the command. He dextrously switched his oxen into line, and they were lusty ones, and with much adroitness took a lockstitch around the trunk of the tree. Then he reached for his whip, and observed the oxen all dangling in the air above his head, bellowing with fear and liked all to have their necks broken by the phenomenal growth of the tree. Had the chain not broken by the efforts of the oxen to free themselves, they had all surely been done to death by the tree.

But the extreme weight of the oxen thus hanging on one side of the tree had made a kink in the trunk, and a peculiar thing happened—the tree now grew upward in kinks.

The king was simply beside himself with passion and with his own hand cut off the head of the oxen driver; and he then commanded his commander of war engines to knock the tree down with a battering ram.

Now, this commander had had nothing to do for ages, as the king had hitherto been a peaceable man, and he felt the honor of receiving a command from his monarch so keenly he strutted about the work of arranging the ram for decisive action.

This was a ponderous piece of machinery, had cost many talents of gold, but had never been brought into actual use. It had an ugly-looking ram which seemed powerful enough to have knocked down a castle with a single blow. It was worked by electricity, and all the commander had to do was to press the button and it would do the kicking.

When all was ready, he pressed the button. The ram shot forward with enormous velocity, only to come at the tree as one of the kinks removed the trunk from its track. And no matter how rapidly the button was pushed, so it was thought, a kink in which there was no tree was always found in front of the shooting ram. So the commander was beheaded, and the king jumped from his horse and danced up and down in a frightful state.

He turned upon my forefather and would have beheaded him on the spot for having told him about the thing, had not my forefather asked the privilege of cutting down the tree. He was at once commanded so to do, and in not very choice language, for the king was so far gone he had entirely forgotten the rules of polite society.

My forefather had been thinking all this time and thinking pretty hard, too, for he felt pretty sure he would not be home for supper that night if the king got no golden apples. And he thought to some purpose, and had observed the tree very minutely.

He took a long piece of heavy wire from his pocket, quickly placed it around the trunk of the tree, and, though he was carried some distance up before he could fasten it to his liking, he succeeded in doing so and dropping safely to the ground, though it was a goodly jump he had to make.

As the tree expanded in its growth of girth in proportion to its upward movement the wire soon began to cut into the trunk. Thus the tree was caught, for it had now grown to such a height if it did not keep on growing larger around it would become top-heavy and break off at the narrow point where was the wire.

And now the king’s pleasure knew no more bounds than did his wrath, and he knighted my forefather on the spot.

The work of the wire was made apparent by the waving of the tree top, which soon became quite visible; but the tree had grown so high when the wire had finished its task, the top fell far out into the ocean, with all its golden fruit.

And now the king did a very mean thing—he directed his sword-bearer to give him his long sword, which was about twenty feet long, with which he desired to have the honor of removing my forefather’s head.

But my forebear was not to be outdone. He grasped the king about the middle with the long fingers of his long hand on his long arm, held him high above his head for a moment, then threw him far out to sea, telling him to bring him some of the golden fruit and he would sit on his throne until he did so, which he proceeded to do, and thereby attained all the things he would have bought with the golden fruit, and many more besides.

So great had been the effort in throwing the king into the ocean, my forefather’s arm at once resumed its natural length.

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X

_Wherein the Third Document is continued, relating
here the second item thereof, which has to do with
that mighty hunter my four-great-grandfather,
and tells how he made a wonderful capture of a
remarkable beast in nick of time to save his own
life from the headsman of the king._

THIRD DOCUMENT—CONTINUED

_Item Second_

MY four-great-grandfather was a mighty hunter. So great a hunter was he, he was employed by the king to furnish his zoölogical garden, each Saturday of each week, with a new animal for his royal inspection.

There was but one single restriction on his employment not to my ancestor’s liking; but he knew his powers so well he had confidence he would never lose his employment in that manner. The restriction was, if he failed to present the king with a new manner of beast upon any Saturday he would lose his employment by having his head removed suddenly from his body.

It happened he was, like most young men, smitten by love, and one week he went away to get married, the nuptials not being finished until late Friday night. He had provided, however, against this contingency by capturing two new beasts the week before, thus having one on hand. What was his horror you may well imagine then when he found it had escaped.

There was nothing to do but go forth and capture another, and he was abroad the next morning before there was light enough to see.

He went into the forest at a new place and had traveled many miles without securing anything. Hitherto his practice had been to learn the whereabouts of the animals, then to set traps for them in the night time so he might obtain them without blemish, as it would have been worth his life to have taken before the king an animal marred or injured in any way. But now he had not time in which to set traps, and he knew not where to set them anyway.

And so it was as he was wandering along he observed at a great distance a most curious animal; for it had a head in front and a head behind, so that it could run either way and go forward all the time. In addition to this it had six legs—two at either end and two in the middle—the last two it could turn either way, so that it could have hind legs no matter in which direction it traveled.

It stopped and viewed him, with first one set of eyes, then with the other, and then with both sets; but kept just the same distance from him all the time—it was a very foxy animal.

He was much put out to discover the impossibility of capturing this wondrous beast. He thought of the thing he always carried with him, but the distance was too great to permit even one of his strength to throw a noose successfully over either set of horns, or in fact anywhere near it.

At last he discovered a great curved rock at some distance beyond the animal, and so maneuvered the animal finally stood beside it. Now, whenever he stopped the creature would stop; so he then stopped, and so did it. He then tied the end of his cord to an arrow and shot it with such dexterity and precision it went beneath the animal, struck the rock in such a manner it was turned back to him, and he immediately grasped both ends with such rapidity he was soon homeward bound with his prize, and his head was safe from the sword of the king’s executioner.

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XI

_Relating a fish story of no mean pretensions and a
fairy tale most graceful and entertaining._

THIRD DOCUMENT—Continued

_Item Third_

MY three-great-grandfather was a noted fisherman, and one of his adventures may not be out of place here, as it sets forth quite fully the sagacity and foresight of my ancestry.

He was one day sailing to his nets when he observed the buoys moving in a most erratic manner. It was his habit to prepare nets to entrap a delicious fish much in demand at the table of royalty, and he alone of all the fishermen it was who knew the feeding places of this particular fish and had received a royal patent giving him the exclusive right to sell that particular fish in the entire kingdom.

But this season had been very dull, and he had about concluded the fish had changed pasturage, and had settled upon a plan of action that would locate their new feeding grounds.

So withal he was much surprised to find his nets many miles nearer shore than was the place at which he had staked them but the day previous, and to behold them moving toward him at a steady gait, which could not be accounted for by reckoning the wind, of which there was not a breath at this time.

But his tremendous knowledge of the habits of the denizens of the deep came to his rescue and he veered from his course, let the nets go by, and turned and followed them at such convenient distance he discovered the truth of his conjecture.

There was a class of shark infesting those waters which had an especial liking for the kind of fish he was snaring, and these same sharks were exceedingly observant of his actions, as was now evident from the fact that at either end of the net, holding a stake in his jaws, was an enormous specimen swimming with great swiftness.

Hither and thither went the sharks, carrying the net in all directions. After an hour or two spent in this fashion, my forefather observed the speed of the net was slackening and he prepared for action, for he conceived the net was becoming so full of fish the sharks could not much longer propel it, and he was satisfied they would soon stop and go in for the feast they had thus prepared.

He was never taken unawares, and so it happened that the large saw fastened to the keel of his boat was brought into play.

And so it was, when the sharks at last stuck the stakes in the bottom, swam out in front of the net and stood side by side greedily contemplating the magnificent feast spread before them, my ancestor bore down upon them swiftly and sawed them each into two pieces so quickly neither of them was aware of it for some time after their tails had wiggled away, and might never have found out what was the trouble had they not looked back to see why their tails did not obey their commands to push them ahead. When they did find it out they were so chagrined they with one accord died then and there, as a just tribute to their sublime disgust with themselves.

And the amount of fish thus taken by my ancestor was so incomprehensible words fail to convey any adequate idea of its magnitude. There was not a single mesh in the net which did not contain at least one fish, and the net was four hundred feet long and five fathoms deep and each mesh was an inch and a half square. The method of computation is easy, but time is precious.

Thereupon my ancestor became a baron and the title has descended to your humble servant.

_Item Fourth_

My two-great-grandfather was a wise magician, and, so celebrated was he, wise men of the entire world consulted him upon doubtful questions which he readily solved without a single error in his calculations.

His various experiences when a mere lad with the genii were the foundation of his accomplishments, and in maturer years he made countless discoveries of new and wonderful things. It is my pleasure to regale you with one of these.

He had obtained great wealth by the aid of the curious lamp he had found in the most marvelous manner, but which is of small importance in comparison with what I am about to relate; and he so considered it, for he gave the lamp to a beggar when he had secured the talisman which is the subject of this sketch.

Then be it remembered that in the land of the Sapphires and Diamonds there lived a princess of such matchless beauty no man had yet looked upon her and survived the fire of the love which was instantaneously engendered within his breast; for he could sleep neither by day nor by night, nor could he eat or drink, but could think of nothing but this lovely princess. And the final end of each was the final end of all, which was by kissing the princess on the lips, for so cold was she the chilling shock to the burning heart produced instant death.

It was the serious desire of this princess when she became queen to wed, and so great was her disappointment at the death of each and every suitor she offered her realm to the man who should survive her kiss.

It so happened upon the publication of that information in the daily papers of the kingdom, the number of dead bodies in the queen’s palace became so great she could not move from where she stood, and suitors were not permitted to make the attempt for the space of six months, it requiring that time to remove and properly bury the dead, which were men of valor and renown, and their deaths were much deplored. No war had ever destroyed so many mighty warriors and statesmen and poets and clergymen and priests and common men in the history of the world.

It was about the end of the six months that my forefather entered the kingdom and became possessed of this information.

Being at the age when all the fires of existence are strong and steady, he would have at once entered the lists had he not been awakened one dark night by the moaning of the wind. Being well versed in the language of the breezes he accurately read the message and without loss of time took to his horse and sped over the mountains. He traveled steadily onward for several days, all the while rising high and higher.

But one gigantic peak remained to be scaled, when his progress was stopped by the great body of a terrible serpent so large in circumference it would have taken years to have built a bridge across it, as it extended several times around the peak.

This serpent my ancestor knew to be the genii which stood guard over the treasure of which he was in search. So, leaving his horse, he crept stealthily along until he found the monster’s head and it was sound asleep. He took from his pouch two large burning glasses and calculated the distance with such nicety the fire of the sun consumed both its eyes instantly. So great was its pain it uncoiled itself from about the mountain and rushed off into the valley, not knowing whither it went.

My forefather then bestrode his horse and safely arrived at the edge of the summit.

But here again his progress was stopped by a gate made of pure glass several feet thick and of great height, and which was but part of a fence of similar material that extended entirely around the top of the peak.

Within the enclosure was an extensive, magnificent park filled with large trees, around and among which twined countless vines, each bearing exquisite flowers, each of a different hue and of delightful fragrance. So beautiful was all within and so handsome the fence, he would not destroy it as he easily might have done. So he cast about him for a means of entrance to this paradise.

Now, it so occurred he had brought with him a compound which he mixed with the gum of a certain tree standing close by. Then with his hatchet he formed pieces of wood which he proceeded to place against the glass and which adhered firmly thereto by reason of the paste with which he had coated one side thereof. And thus he made a very comfortable ladder by virtue of which he was soon on the other side, for he made steps on that as he had done on the first side.

In turning a corner in one of the many lanes, he was confronted by ten ravishingly beautiful women, so rich had Nature been in her adornment of them. They stopped him and asked which was the most beautiful one of the ten. He gazed at them critically, and then insisted he was utterly unable to tell, for each was so deliciously sweet any man would be contented and happy with her. And so it was they exclaimed in unison he was a most excellent man and deserved everything he could wish as his reward, for he had been exceedingly wise in his answer.

He said he could not imagine for a moment any one could have made any other guess than the one he had made, when he was told there had been a princess there some years agone and had been asked the same question. They told him she had replied by selecting one of them, whereupon the princess was stricken with a heart of ice for having preferred one of the sisters above the others.

“A heart of ice!” he exclaimed.

“Yes, yes,” they replied; “a heart of ice.”

“What is that? The poor princess.”

“It is indeed sad,” said they; “for she will freeze to death every lover that kisses her lips and she will endure terrible agonies; for every man who looks upon her will be smitten, and she will let him kiss her to test his love, and he will die on the spot, frozen through and through by the shock of the cold of her heart striking against the heat of his heart.”

“Too bad!” said he.

“Not so,” they cried. “It served her right.”

“But is there no cure for this malady?” he asked.

“Yes, indeed,” they cried; “and a very sweet one it is.”

“What is it?” asked he. “Inasmuch as you have said I deserve everything I wish, I wish that information.”

They laughed and glanced merrily at each other, thinking he was trying to catch them in a falsehood.

“First of all, then,” said one, “there must come a very brave man; for he must overcome the serpent at the foot of the hill; he must scale the fence of glass, and he must answer our question correctly. And then he must go to the center of the earth and kiss our queen.”

“Show me the way to the center of the earth,” he demanded.

They laughingly led him to a great hole in the ground, which was as smooth as glass, and he afterward learned it was a glass tube which ran to the center of the earth. As he stood looking down it and meditating they said many had gone down but not one had ever returned.

His quick mind had solved the difficulty, for to the one nearest him he said:

“Will you give me as a talisman one hair from the top of your head and permit me to select it?”

The others became quite hilarious at this, and twitted him on making his first guess a lie.

When he had obtained the hair he turned to the next one and made of her a similar request, and so on until he had a hair from the head of each one. Then he braided them together and asked:

“You say many have gone down but none has returned. What became of them?”

“They have fallen and died, for they knew not how to get down,” was their answer.

He then took from his pocket a small phial, removed the cork, took some of the contents on the tips of his fingers and rubbed it on the rope made of the hair of their heads. It at once began to grow in length much faster than it grew in size, and ere he had used the contents of the phial the end had touched the center of the earth.

Then he said to them: “You hold this end and I will go to the center of the earth, and wait you here and hold the rope until I come. You will promise that, as I wish it and you have promised to grant me whatever I wish.”

They agreed. He wrapped the rope about a stick of glass and quickly disappeared.

At the end of his descent he found himself in the midst of a large assemblage, who looked upon him wonderingly, not knowing what sort of a being he was, or seeming not to know. He was led toward a throne which flashed upon him with such brilliance he did not at first behold it was occupied. When he became accustomed to the dazzling radiance of the throne he beheld sitting upon it the most beautiful woman, and she must have been indeed fascinating, for he had never dreamed of one so bewitching, and he was a great dreamer.

It was impossible for him to remove his gaze from her for a long time, and when she spoke the music of her tones held him spellbound. The glances of her eyes were almost torturing.

But he kept saying to himself she could not be more delicious than the princess, and surely not so many men have died for this one’s love as have died for the love of the princess; therefore, the princess must be still more lovely.

Thus saying he recovered his composure, stepped to the throne, and began to ascend. Thereupon a murmur arose which made him pause for an instant; but the queen held out her arms; into them he flew and sought to kiss her, but she clung to him so tenderly and cautiously he could not do so at once. He was not to be outdone, however, and lavished caresses upon her until she was off her guard, when he kissed her full upon her red lips. There went a thrill through him he had never experienced and it made him dizzy for awhile, for she did not permit him to remove his lips from hers.

Then came before his mind’s eye the poor princess and her torturing condition. His sense of duty to her overcame the blandishments of this fair, sweet one, and slowly but delicately he freed himself from her embrace, saying:

“O, Queen, thou art the most beautiful of all flesh; there are no other lips like thine; no other woman was ever possessed of such an exquisite form; no other woman’s voice hath so many charms—thou art the queen of queens.”

“Then abide thou here and be my king,” said she.

“It may not be,” said he, “for I have a duty to perform to one of thy sex who is suffering from a terrible malady, and that duty is greater than thy charms, though none knows their grandeur.”

Then the queen drew him gently to her and kissed him on the forehead most lovingly, and bade him sit beside her.

After long and beautiful converse with her, in which she told him she was but tempting him to test his fitness for the mission, he left her with instructions to treat each of the ten maids above as he had treated her—which made him tremble slightly.

When he had ascended to the garden the ten maids were waiting for him and one of them held out her arms to him. He responded with alacrity and she held him so lovingly that for a moment his resolution wavered. But he released himself only to be folded in the arms of another and another until the last one twined her arms about him.

It had been a gallant struggle, but it had ended there had not the neighing of his horse recalled him to himself.

Thereupon he tore himself away, ran up the ladder, down the other side, mounted his horse, and they flew down the steep incline with such speed that though the old serpent had returned with new eyes they cleared his body at a single bound and were off through the mountains in the twinkling of a star, speeding toward the palace of the princess.

When he entered the hall but one suitor had been tested and he lay dead on the floor. There followed him in, however, a horde of would-be lovers, of all stations and degrees, but the strict order of arrival was observed, and he stood next in succession.

As he advanced toward the bewitching being his eyes burned and his pulse throbbed with twice its usual power. He was drawn with such magnetism he could not resist. She was even more comely than any of the charmers he had met in the mountain.

He was within ten paces of her and she was looking at him yearningly, when there suddenly appeared between them the ten maids, who asked of her:

“Which of us is the most beautiful?”

The princess queen was undecided, glancing slowly from one to the other. Then she was bewildered, and at last cried:

“I cannot tell, for you are all so lovely it is impossible for any mortal to say.”

Thereupon they clapped their hands and vanished.

Then he stepped forward and folded her in his arms. Their lips met not once or twice, but many, many times. The crowd had expected him to fall dead, and it now roared with rage, for it had not observed the maids and knew not what had really happened, and each had considered that had it been himself that had pressed her lips he should not have died.

So my forefather became the king of the realm and ruled so well and amiably he was beloved by all his subjects, but most of all by the ten fairies, for they were nothing less, who lived on the mountain top and to whom each year he gave a great feast.

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XII

_Being a continuation still further into the Third
Document and giving a careful account of a most
marvelous sailing trip in Item Fifth of said
Document._

THIRD DOCUMENT—CONTINUED

_Item Fifth_

MY one-great-grandfather was a renowned sailor, of such repute his name was known in all the countries of the earth. It may not be amiss to relate the occurrences of a single voyage made by him, the like of which has not been met with since nor had been met with before.

He determined to sail around the earth in a straight line, for it was known, even by my remote ancestor, the earth was round. It was difficult for him to get a sufficient crew for his ship, but as he had made a wager with the king, of a thousand talents of gold, he could do it, and offered to divide the result with his sailors, he at last had his ship manned and ready to sail. The last thing put aboard was a great trough made in sections.

He set sail upon a day in June. After sailing before a stiff breeze for many days, land was sighted, toward which the ship’s nose was pointed. At this the sailors became alarmed, for they were sure they would be dashed to pieces on the shore, which, however, was a sandy beach. But my forefather kept on his course and when they were within a short distance of the beach, he made known the use to which he was about to put the trough, which was to lay it before the ship in such manner the keel would run in it and as fast as she left one section behind it was taken up and placed down before.

In this manner they sailed until they came to a large lake, across which he kept his course, having again placed the trough on board. When they reached the other side, the trough was again brought into requisition. And so they sailed across the continent and into the other ocean.

When they had crossed this and were once more sailing along the trough across the next and last continent the natives appeared in great numbers, thinking it was an angel or a god, for the white wings above the boat looked strange and unearthly to them. And so it was to prove their belief they brought great nuggets of gold and piled them in the way of the ship in such quantities the boat was soon loaded by the crew with such a stock of yellow metal my forefather feared she would sink when she was again launched into the sea. Therefore just before again embarking he hid away a large part of the treasure, which he afterward returned and got.

As they were sailing now toward home he saw the king’s navy ahead drawn up in battle array. This he could not understand, but it was soon made plain to him, by reasoning that the king could not afford to part with so much gold and had sent out his ships to sink him should he ever appear. But he nevertheless sailed straight toward them, which again alarmed the sailors, for by the division of the gold now on board and what had been left behind each was so rich he could hardly wait to get home and begin to spend his wealth.

Now it turned out the king himself was upon the ship toward which my ancestor was sailing, and he made ready for battle; for that was part of the plan he had in mind when he made the wager, knowing my forefather to be a very determined and wise man. My forebear, however, did not know the king was on board, and grieved ever after that such should have been the case.

When he was about a league off he caused to be brought up from the hold some planks which were then formed into a large rudder, which he put behind the ship, but not held as a rudder ordinarily is, it being laid flat on the water. It was now observed the masts were hinged where they entered the ship.

When he had come within about three ship lengths he put a great force on the rudder and bent the masts backward against powerful springs. The pushing down upon the rudder caused the ship’s nose to dip down and to enter the water, which it did with such rapidity it shot clear below the other ship and would have passed without accident had not one of the sailors lost his presence of mind and released the masts just as the boat was coming up on the other side. The masts sprung upright with such speed and force they caught the ship the king was on, threw it high in the air, turning it upside down and throwing all upon it into the sea and they were drowned.

When my forefather landed he went to the palace of the king to demand his talents of gold. He then learned the king had been on that particular ship, and knew he must have perished.

The renown of the voyage spread like wildfire and created such a sentiment nothing would do but my forefather must be made king, and he was crowned at once, and having so much gold his kingdom became the richest in the world.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

XIII

_Being another item in the same document, and a most
interesting one, as it gives some incidents in the
life of one of my ancestors who was at some time a
Caliph of Bagdad._

THIRD DOCUMENT—CONTINUED

_Item Sixth_

MY grandfather, who was a Caliph of Bagdad, was an illustrious story-teller, and I should be doing him an injustice to omit from this narrative one or two of the most wonderful of the tales he told.

He was in the habit of indulging in practical jokes and whenever a new idea he could use for that purpose came to him he was prone to put it into operation without delay.

And so it happened a thought of this character came to him one day in midsummer and he invited all his retinue to a month of banqueting. Well knowing the lavish supply he always provided, his palace was filled to overflowing. To aid him in his joke he had employed a chemist of great learning to assist in compounding the viands, always taking care that while his portions resembled the others closely they did not contain certain ingredients present in the others.

He also arranged for games on the lawns of great expanse around about his palace, and it so occurred that while viewing these his guests were compelled to sit in the sunlight unprovided with shelter from its rays. And it also turned out all looking-glasses were secreted, which caused much dismay in the minds of the feminine guests. And each guest, owing to the brilliancy of the beams, was given colored glasses to wear.

The last half of the month contained a great novelty, so the guests thought, for during that time every window was sealed and every door closed so tightly not a ray of light penetrated anywhere, and all functions were observed in the darkness.

At the end of that time the light was one day admitted throughout the entire building and great was the consternation thereat. Husbands knew not their wives and wives disowned their husbands. Lovers were horror-stricken on the discovery by each the other was as black as the ace of spades.

Oh, there was a tumult, for each was hastening to leave the place, but he prevailed upon them to remain another week and all would be well. Thereupon he explained to them he was but illustrating the way in which the Africans became black. That he had added to the portions each day a certain amount of silver which had at last mixed with their blood, and that when they came into the sunlight the silver in them had oxidized and made them black. He assured them the portions they would now receive would quickly remove the silver and they would again become white.

And it so happened.

At another time, when he was about to start on a long journey, he called his servants together and instructed them he would be gone some time and they must under no circumstances admit into the palace any stranger unless ordered to do so by his chief butler, whom he had told to put all strangers in certain rooms and to lock them in there.

It turned out he was going away in search of a certain robber who had been troublesome; indeed, so much so he had carried away such a quantity of wealth he was fast becoming as powerful as he.

And so it was he had been gone but a day or two when a handsome cavalier announced himself and was admitted by the butler, and placed in one of the rooms, he having arrived at night-fall, craving a lodging from an impending storm.