Chapter I: HAD lived a bachelor’s life for the reason I have heretofore given,

and had been exceedingly contented. But now nothing but an overpowering desire for connubial felicity found place in my thoughts, and that felicity persisted in centering around the writer of the message I have set forth at length.

I had been made much of by many admirable women, owing to my many adventures and traveling experiences, as, somehow or other, women like brave men, and a man who has traveled a great deal they think must of necessity be brave. I do not wish to be understood as saying they made love to me; far from it; they were too polished: but I doubt not, had I been so inclined, my suit would have received favor. But now my soul was consuming for the presence of this unknown.

The days of magic were over, else I would have sought its aid. And yet I was in a land of mystery. Might I not find some one whose vision might locate this fair one?

I searched among the tribes of nomads diligently, without any degree of success. Many there were told me much I knew, and more of which I have not ascertained the truth or lack of it.

I spent several months in these fruitless efforts, and at last was brought to a realization I had never failed when I relied on my own ingenuity, and I should not fail in this case.

A short time spent in analyzing the situation, when I had reached this conclusion, gave me a plan of operations: I must build another airship and sail over the country until I found her, which should be a matter of brief duration, as, if I could rise high enough, I could take in a vast space, and must discover the white trees from a great distance, and those once discovered, nothing could prevent reaching the goal.

I therefore journeyed to the mountains, as I could not launch my craft from a low altitude.

About half way up the mountain side I came upon a cabin occupied by a hermit. Now it so happened that one side of his cabin was composed of a single board—just precisely what I desired. I made the remark I would be glad to purchase it of him. At which suggestion he laughed immoderately. What had he to do with gold? He neither bought nor sold. He did not even so much as exchange one thing for another—not even in the matter of clothing. I was convinced I could not find another board so well suited to my needs, and I was not to be rebuffed.

I asked him upon what terms he would part with it. No terms whatever. Did it not form one side of his cabin, and was it not exactly what he needed in the place in which it was? I admitted the point. And he went so far as to assert it came with very ill grace for me to suggest its removal. Not saying as much as he would like, or as the circumstances might permit, he would, however, state that I was laboring from one of the ailments which were ultimately to ruin the human race, to-wit, selfishness; that it had been the one blot on his fair life, and he had come hither to atone.

I showed my interest, and he narrated the following story:

_The Hermit’s Story_

Five years ago come spring I was a husky man, indeed. Of such power was I there were few men in the realm having sufficient temerity to cross weapons of whatever nature with me.

There was a very beautiful woman in the country, to whose hand I laid siege. I may as well state in the outset, I had little hope, but I determined if I should not succeed no other one would. Her father was very austere, and gave her few liberties, though she was permitted greater license than any other young lady. Her father loved her dearly, and it was his wish she should marry well. It is my opinion she inherited a desire in a similar direction, for no one of her suitors received the slightest encouragement.

At the time I came upon the scene of her life there was a chivalrous young man who considered all else but her love of trifling importance. I quickly became of the same opinion. Each observed closely all the other did, and it so happened I one day met him in the woods at the hunt.

When we came in at the death I rode to a conspicuous place and challenged to mortal combat any man who held claim as a suitor of the princess—for she was a princess, and would, if she chose, receive the throne on her father’s demise. The young man rode forth, spear in hand, and the entire company proceeded to an opening of size near by, which we circled around for some time, when he suddenly wheeled his horse and came at me with his lance atilt. I was on my guard, and by a simple twist broke his lance. I rode away, and a friend handed him a broad-sword; mine was at my side.

I could have killed him before, but preferred to prolong the matter for the edification of the assembly. He was frothing with rage, and his eyes blazed dangerously as he came at a swinging gallop, his sword in a very awkward position—so it seemed to me, but proved otherwise, and I barely escaped without injury. My horse was of excellent metal, and was snorting gleefully. I whirled about and made at my antagonist pellmell.

I now observed that he was left-handed, which accounted for my supposition of awkwardness on his part. He therefore tried to ride on the opposite from the usual side, which I tried to prevent, but was not quick enough, and lost the top of my helmet, being thankful to come off so well.

My veins were now well filled, and I set my teeth hard as I careered toward him in an attempt to quarter his course, and his sword struck my horse’s flanks as I swung my sword with a blow that would have split in twain an ordinary man. He caught it with such dexterity as to break my sword in halves.

I dismounted, drew my light Damascus blade, and stood awaiting him. He was no laggard, and was soon facing me, as the guests formed a circle. It was as pretty a battle as any one might wish to see. I never saw a man with such a pair of lungs. He never seemed in the least to suffer for breath, though I kept him quite busy, and I may say he kept me well occupied. Neither of us could gain a point.

Suddenly there broke into the ring a page from the court, who cried aloud:

“Gentlemen: The princess sends greeting, and says she has learned you are indulging in this display of valor because of her. Therefore she sends word, saying as follows: She is curious in no way as to what the outcome may be, as she is not in the least interested in either of you. And she says furthermore if but one of you survive he shall be banished from the realm during the remainder of his natural life for deigning to go to such extremities without her permission. And that if this message shall have the effect of stopping the combat it will show your true merit. And she wished me to close my remarks with the following manifesto: That whoever shall further witness your efforts upon this or any other field shall be punished by banishment and confiscation of his entire property and title.”

Thereupon he left us. Neither of us speaking nor moving for a time, the entire body of spectators disappeared, and we were alone. Then he spake:

“Sir Swelltoad, you have heard the message. The combat was stopped without the consent of either, and therefore I must give warning and say that I seek banishment. What is your will?”

“Defend yourself,” was my reply.

It was a short matter, for he was now over-zealous, and I was soon on my horse and am here where you have found me.

I might add that two years ago the princess became so disgusted with all mankind she had a wonderful labyrinth erected for her, repaired into its secret chamber, and will see no one who will not solve its mystery; but that no one who has ever fought for her may strive to enter under penalty of death in a most ignominious manner.

* * * * *

This ended the hermit’s story. It is needless to say my interest was aroused, and with all the composure and carelessness I could command I endeavored to adroitly ascertain the whereabouts of the labyrinth. I therefore said:

“And has no one found the secret chamber?”

“No one has found it, and no one has returned, for it is so constructed that, having once entered the labyrinth, there is no way of return, and he who enters wanders until starvation ends him.”

“Is this labyrinth at a great distance?”

“It is the other side of the mountains,” he returned.

“I am exceedingly curious to see what that secret chamber is like,” I remarked, carelessly.

“Let me dissuade you,” said he, “from the undertaking, for it will be fruitless.”

“Why so?” I asked.

“For it is a most wonderful labyrinth. It is full of every imaginable thing in the way of pit-falls and wild-eyed beasts, and it is impossible for any one to succeed. I say this, because a most formidable knight who had faced death in every conceivable form went on the quest a month ago and has not returned. Each day there is a herald sent forth to cry out whether any one has succeeded. A week ago—the last news I had—no one had been crowned. And no one ever will be.”

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XVIIII

_I enter the labyrinth and listen to the rules
governing my progress therein. I meet a terrible
lion which I overcome quite readily, as I likewise
do other difficulties I encounter, especially a huge
serpent which I gorge with an indigestible meal._

NOTWITHSTANDING what the hermit had said, I proceeded on my journey across the mountains. When I reached the highest peak I saw a square of white trees. This was of great extent, inclosing several hundred square miles of land, which was full of hills and rivers. I noticed the trees within the square were so closely set the ground was not visible from my position, and if I had passed over it in my airship I should have been none the wiser.

I observed, however, what I supposed to be an entrance on each of the four sides, and made my way to the nearest one.

As I was about to enter, I was accosted by a voice (the owner of which I could not discover, though I diligently sought to do so) which said:

“Enterest thou here as a suitor to the hand of the princess?”

“Thou dost speak with great truthfulness,” I made answer.

“Then harken thou to the following rules, each one of which must receive strict attention at your hands under penalty of death.

“First: If thou hast fought because of the princess, turn back at once.

“Second: Thou shalt seek to gain the secret chamber by no unfair means.

“Third: Thou shalt not speak aloud, unless bidden so to do by the princess herself.

“Fourth: Thou shalt not carry any weapon.

“Fifth: Thou shalt not kill anything.

“Sixth: Thou shalt not pluck any leaf, blossom, twig, or limb that is alive.

“Seventh: Thou shalt not leave marks by the aid of which to retrace thy steps.

“Eighth: Thou shalt not depart from the paths on any pretense whatsoever.

“Dost thou agree to these rules?”

“I do,” was my reply.

“Know ye the breaking of any of them will result in thy instant death?”

“I know.”

“Proceed.”

I deposited all my weapons, of which I had a goodly number, on a pile of several hundred others, and stood a moment in contemplation.

Before me were three avenues, so closely lined with trees with such dense foliage the sky was nowhere visible and a deep twilight pervaded beneath them. There was one straight ahead, one to the right, one to the left, each leading at right angle to its neighbor. All were alike, with this difference: that two of them somehow gave me the feeling they had been well traveled, while the third, which was on the right, had been little used.

I chose the one on the right and started forward.

How far I had traveled I do not know, for I had gone at a brisk pace and the way had been so winding and twisting and turning, when there came to my ears the low growl of an eager lion. I hailed the sound with joy, for I was satisfied the road leading to victory would be a very dangerous one and most difficult to travel, and I had gone such a distance without an obstacle I was beginning to be doubtful. The muffled roar of the beast reassured me and I pressed onward.

I came to where the road branched in three directions. I was thankful I possessed a keen ear, for by its aid was I enabled to take the one which led to the lion, and I soon saw him stretched on the ground gnawing a bone which was probably all that was left of some suitor.

The lion raised his head and looked at me long and steadily, as if to say: “What! Another?”

Now, I had heard if a lion meets an unflinching gaze he will take himself off without attempting to injure the gazer. I walked within a few yards and set my glance on his eyes. He seemed slightly astonished after a few minutes, and I persisted. Then his tail began to sway from side to side with great force. His next movement was to fix himself for a spring. Perhaps he had had so much of that gazing business he was used to it; in any event, it was not working like a charm, and I resorted to other tactics.

I must pass that lion, and the path was so narrow his body completely filled it.

I stood my ground and saw his muscles set as his body grew closer and closer to the ground. Then his fibers began to tremble, and I knew the time was near at hand.

With a terrific roar that almost unsettled me, he sprang into the air. I stooped low and ran with great speed, passing under him as he flew to the spot I had just quitted. Nor did I slacken my speed until I reached a river flowing with surging force down a channel fifteen or twenty feet across. Hearing the lion coming, I cast about me, knowing if I could cross the stream the lion would not, for lions hate water, like all the cat tribe.

I repeated the rules so many times as I came along I knew them by heart. “Thou shalt not pluck any leaf, blossom, twig, or limb that is alive,” one of them said.

Now, I saw a dead vine which hung from the top of one of the trees, and which was broken off a few feet from the ground. This last I did not discover until I had made an examination, for the end was hidden in the foliage. The lion was coming with more speed as my tracks were so fresh. I seized the end of the vine firmly in my hands and swung backward and forward until by an extra effort I reached the other side just as the lion reached the spot I had swung from. By carefully gauging the distance I sent the vine back to its hiding place in order that I should leave nothing by which I might retrace my steps, to comply with another of the rules.

I thought I heard an exclamation near by, but could not discern from whence it came. As night was approaching I hastened on in the hope I might find some safe place for the night.

I had proceeded some space by devious paths, keeping to the right when there was a fork in the roads, until I stood at the top of an incline, down which the narrow way went on. About half way to the bottom I saw a huge serpent lying with his great mouth directly toward me, the balance of him meandering among the trees and shrubs on both sides, leaving no possibility of my passing him.

Again I was delighted at this new evidence I was on the right road, and devised a plan by which I circumvented the snake. Since my boyhood experience I had taken great joy in outwitting reptiles, and had been always successful; therefore I had no fear in this case.

As my enemy appeared half asleep, having probably been gorged by other suitors, but not in the manner following, I took that much advantage of him.

The top of the hill was well supplied with large round boulders. I loosened one of them, and it was a prodigious one, and put it in the center of the path. I went for another and another until I had quite a stock of stone cannon balls.

Then I sighted one of them most carefully and sent it spinning down the hill. It went true as a die and entered the serpent’s mouth, holding it firmly, for a moment, to the ground. Then I opened my fusillade in dead earnest, and such a dinner no scaly fiend ever had, for by the time I got to the coffee and cigars he was so full the last few hit against those lodged in his mouth and rolled on harmlessly. His condition must have been indeed awkward, for him, for he now lay as straight as a kite-string in a gale, and he could but emit a hoarse hiss as I passed him by, wishing him success in recovering from his indigestion.

I was now quite positive I heard a suppressed laugh, but could discover no one by peering into the foliage, as I was not permitted to leave the path on any pretense.

I continued my journey and had barely reached the bottom of the incline when there came shooting after me such a torrent of boulders I had to run for it to save my life, and I am quite sure I should have been a goner had the path continued straight; but, to my great joy, I came upon an abrupt turn and lost no time in getting around the happy corner.

The poor snake’s stomach must have troubled him. I fear the effort required to relieve his overcharged condition quite put him out of the running, for I saw and heard no more of him.

I came next to a chasm, several yards in width and exceedingly deep. There was nothing but shrubbery on either side, and it was impossible to scale this or the other side. Neither was it possible for me to jump it, and I am no mean jumper.

There was nothing that could be of any possible assistance but a bare pole. I tried to push this across, but could not manage it. I endeavored to let it fall over, but in length it was a trifle short of the width of the chasm, and I almost lost it.

I had about concluded to camp there for the night, though I shivered when I thought of the serpent and that he might give chase when he had recuperated somewhat. The more I thought of that venom-spitter, the more reluctant was I to remain on that side of the gorge during the whole night, unarmed as I was and unprotected in any way from a thing that could follow me anywhere I might go.

With joy I finally saw a crack in the edge of the rock. I quickly grasped the pole and rammed one end into that, wedging it tightly. This left it in a perpendicular position, and I lost no time mounting to its top. When there it seemed such a short distance across I felt inclined to chance a jump for it; but my sense came to my rescue, and getting a secure grip on the very end of the pole with both hands, I started it to falling across. When I was well under way through the air, I gave my body a twist and lengthened the pole in that manner by my whole length, which brought me sprawling but happily on the other side, the pole tumbling into the stream. Thus I had again left nothing by which I could retrace my steps.

I was mightily well pleased to find a snug house before I had gone half a mile, for I was bent on putting as much space between that snake and myself, for that chasm did not seem such a terrible thing for him to cross when I remembered his horrible length—it would have been no trick at all for him to have spanned it with but a kink or two.

So, as I say, I was delighted at the sight of the habitation.

On the steps sat an old woman, and I paid her a pleasant time of day. She said not a word, but arose and entered the house.

My nose told me there was that within which would quiet the pangs of hunger now giving me much discomfort, and I followed her.

There was a table with one chair at it and she was busy at the fire. I stood by the chair and she looked at me with every kind of astonishment. This confused me so that I sat in the chair and she went on with her cooking.

I could not resist the tempting meal that lay before me, and as she made no protest when I had taken one mouthful, and I eyed her closely as I took it, I took another, and another, until I had finally eaten a hearty meal, and felt nice and smooth and very much pleased with everything.

I arose and gazed about me. She went to a ladder which led to an upper floor, looked up it and then passed out the door. When she returned, which she did after a few minutes, I was in the very same place.

She went to the ladder again, looked up it, and again passed out. When she again returned I was still there. Again she went to the ladder, looked up it a third time, and a third time passed out.

What she meant now began to percolate through my brain. You see, I had eaten so heartily and felt so comfortable my brain had got to sleep before my body had, and I had really not been thinking. But now I went to the ladder and looked up, and was so doing when she again returned to the door, glanced at me and went away.

Then I climbed the ladder and I was almost asleep all over before I could get to it; for there before my very eyes was the softest bed conjurable. So, I do not remember anything more, whether I just tumbled onto the cozy thing and was in slumber before I struck it, or whether I went through the usual routine.

Anyhow, my repose was pleasant, for it was filled with dreams of the beautiful princess I was soon to see, as it seemed to me the difficulties I had already overcome were greater than any that could possibly present themselves. Alas, how mistaken was I!

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XX

_I continue my travel, splendidly refreshed by a
good night’s sleep. I explain how I escaped from the
angry bears and from a host of hungry alligators;
how I charmed the deadly vipers, and how I ascended
a glistening granite precipice._

WHEN I awoke on the following morning, I descended and found a magnificent repast awaiting me. So bounteous was the supply I was astonished. As I could not tell how long it might be before I would be again so fortunate, I ate heartily, and after thanking the old lady sincerely, as she had refused, silently but positively, any remuneration, I went my way.

I came to a round, clear opening, covered with grass, a meadow, out of which were paths innumerable.

I lay down in such a position I could inspect each path in turn and subjected each to a rigid inspection from that distance. Some were narrow, some wide, some gravel, some sod, some lined with flowers, some rocky, some dry, some wet and marshy, some straight, some crooked, some overhung with foliage, and some on which the sun shone brilliantly.

On one side the hills came sharp down to the meadow. At one place there appeared to be a small cave out of which a stream of water was flowing. As I was very thirsty I thought there must be a spring in the cavern and thither I bent my steps. The stream was of clear, sparkling water, of which I partook freely. There was such a cool air coming from the cave, and as it was becoming quite warm in the sun, I went in to sit down during the heat of the day.

I had sat but a moment when my old spirit of investigation came on me and I sought to learn how far into the earth the cave extended, knowing well I could easily retrace my steps without using any unfair means.

I went in a great distance, and came to a branch. Along one course I thought I could detect a point of light indicating another end to the cave; the other passage was dark.

After a time I discovered that the first was filled with animals. It now occurred to me that in all probability this was the true way to the secret chamber, and the passage occupied by the beasts was the one I should take. So, on I went, quite sure and confident. The snarling and growling of the animals increased in volume as I approached, and when I reached a swell in the tunnel I found this cavern contained a number of large bears, which raised their heads and sniffed the air, evidently scenting me.

How was I to pass them, as pass them I must, was the question I had to answer.

They were ferocious in the extreme, for there were old and young ones, and they were now engaged in quarreling over a very scanty meal which they would undoubtedly take great pleasure in making larger and more fitting to their number and size.

One old surly she-bear had concluded to look up the intruder, and approached me, growling in a very menacing manner. I could not see her all the time, for she would pass to one side or the other of the light, and be in darkness most. This increased my difficulty.

I must not kill her, or any of them; but I must pass them, and would pass them without killing them, for I had matured a plan for so doing.

I dare not use my voice, and it is doubtful I could have frightened them by the use of it. Being very swift of foot I dodged the mother bear who was searching for me, and came up to the snarling, snapping cubs. They suddenly scented me and backed away a short distance from their meal, prior to bounding on me.

This was what I had calculated they would do, and I grasped the opportunity by rushing in and picking up their repast, which consisted of a young deer, though I had feared I would find it to be another suitor.

I backed away and they followed. As they increased their speed I increased mine. I was leading them around the cavern away from the tunnel with the light at the end. When we reached the farther end and started toward the light, I began to run, and just as I got to the entrance to the lighted passage I dropped the deer and fled, while they pounced on their meal with renewed vengeance, the old she-bear alone following. I soon left her behind and reached the sunlight, much to my relief, which, however, was but temporary, for two enormous bears were coming up the path. My flight had been so precipitate, and I was now going at such speed it was impossible for me to stop my progress.

They arose on their hind legs to embrace me, and, being an athlete, I took a flying leap, striking one of them in the stomach with such force as to send it sprawling with a monstrous grunt of disapproval, and I bounded over its prostrate form and disappeared before either could recover from the astonishment that had so suddenly overwhelmed them.

I was so full of desire to complete my undertaking I did not ease up on my pace for many miles, and only did so then because I had arrived at the brink of a terrible precipice, at which the path ended. I stood on the verge and looked into a deep lake one hundred and fifty feet below me. The water was so clear I could see large bodies moving in all directions in it, which turned out to be great crocodiles.

It would have been an easy matter to have taken a header into the water, for I was an expert diver, but how was I to avoid the saurians? That was the problem I set myself to solve, which I did in the following comfortable manner.

The lake was fully half a mile long, and at the foot of the precipice but a few yards wide. Now, I had prodigious strength of arm, and I took advantage of those water cattle by selecting a lot of good-sized stones, which I threw with all my might; and so great was the space traveled by them before they struck, the crocodiles could not swim the space in several minutes.

As the stones began to strike the water they were all excitement, and at once proceeded to learn the cause of the disturbance, and away they went.

When they had all reached the spot, I sprang head first into the water, and rising easily to the surface swam to shore before they had fairly got started back to investigate the new commotion.

While standing on the summit of the rock I had decided which of several paths I should take, the one I had selected being through a grassy bit of country.

Over this I went upwards of a mile, when I found my further progress impeded by a swarm of deadly vipers, which so filled the way I could scarcely see the ground. They were having a very quiet time, but on becoming aware of my presence they set up such a rattling I thought for a moment there was a shower of pebbles falling on the rocks.

Now, being possessed of a very strong pair of boots, which came high on my legs, I could readily have stamped them all to death, but I dare not harm them, and I knew that to attempt to pass them and leave them unhurt was simple suicide. I therefore hit upon the following plan to evade them and continue my way:

As I was passing through the water on my dive I had observed a beautiful colored shell on the bottom of the lake, and had brought it with me. I now looked it over. As the snakes had not yet determined to attack me because I had not disturbed them, I stepped to a large boulder of sandstone near by, and by dint of using it as a grinder I succeeded in wearing away the end of the shell. Then, by the aid of a sharp stone, I bored eight holes in it at proper intervals. When I had done, I put the instrument to my lips and began to play on it, for, as I have stated before, I believe, I am an accomplished musician.

I executed a low, plaintive air at first, which appeared to please my audience and they uncoiled themselves and assumed a less warlike attitude. Then I shortened the time and had them dancing for joy. When I had them thus entranced I cautiously made my way through their numbers and changed to a very slow and heavy measure, and in a very short time had put them all soundly to sleep, in which condition I left them and went onward.

I was now approaching another mountain and was suddenly stopped by an abrupt end to the path. There was no mistaking the fact, the path turned neither to the right nor to the left, but that the way to the secret chamber lay up a perpendicular wall a hundred feet high and as smooth as glass.

This exceeded my wildest imaginings of difficulties. I was completely nonplussed, and I reclined on the ground in absolute discouragement. It was my first real discouragement. Never before had I met an insurmountable barrier between me and my desires; but here seemed to be one, without any shadow of doubt.

And I was decidedly fatigued, for I had come a great distance. I was also positively aware my hearty breakfast had served its usefulness, and my power would soon wane by virtue of hunger.

I saw all my castles in the air tumbling down most miserably. The dear princess was fading in the distance. I was so put out, so tired, and so hungry I must have fallen asleep, for I became conscious suddenly by feeling something cold running over my face. “Snakes” of all sizes were in my mind; but it was but a harmless lizard, though of good size, some two feet long. There were hundreds of them, and how I envied them as they scampered carelessly and, I thought, mockingly over the face of my enemy, the granite precipice. They were hunting a species of large insect which sometimes paused to rest on the rock, at such times a herd endeavoring to effect a capture.

In one of these attacks the insect was wounded, but escaped their tongues, fell at my feet, and died.

My spirits arose, and I quickly secured it, placing it in my pocket for use at the proper time. I found in the grass a lot of dead, pliable roots. Having secured the requisite number of these, I picked up some dried switches and spliced the roots until I had a pole of the desired length.

This brought me to the interesting part of my plan, which I had formed from watching the lizards, bless them!

I then tied the bug to the end of the pole, and by handling my fishing outfit adroitly I enticed a lizard close enough to capture him, and then another, and still another, and yet another, until I had about twenty of them. I was astonished at their strength. As I captured them I tied the tail of one to the neck of another, so I was compelled to hold but one, the last one, and that was enough, as they got stronger each time I added one. At last my team was harnessed, and it was a goodly tandem, the wheel horse being a magnificent specimen, with a tail of sufficient size for me to grasp it firmly in my right hand.

I then held the bug in front of my leader in such a position they could all see it, and after it they all went. I started the insect up the surface of the rock, and they went at such speed they gave my arm quite a wrench when they lifted me off my feet and started up the rock with me dangling. Maybe I did not have the grip of my life on that tail! It is a wonder I did not squeeze it square off.

When I was hanging midway between the top and bottom I really thought it was all over and that they had come to the conclusion the bug wasn’t worth it anyway. I put all my ingenuity into that insect, and made him appear so entrancing that away they went after him, I always keeping him just out of the reach of the leader. But this time I had to give each one a sniff of it, and as I dipped it along in this way I thought my arm would come out, for they literally humped themselves to get it.

As I neared the top I had, of course, to come at it on an angle, as I could not lead them directly over the edge, and so I did, and when they had dragged me over the edge onto some nice green grass, I tell you, I heaved a monstrous sigh of victory.

But I was not out of my trouble. They had the bug, of course, and I had to let go my hold, which was no easy matter. I at length succeeded, and at once unharnessed my good team and let them free, each one going away with my blessing.

But I was too tired to go another step, and was about to lie down on the sweet grass and go to sleep when I saw a house quite similar to the one I had met the night before, and on the steps of which I saw another old lady, in all respects like the one who had cooked my meals at the other house.

She nodded her head in such a way as to turn me round and cause me to look off across the country, and I there saw a most exquisite palace of white marble with a dome of amethyst just then glittering in the rays of the setting sun.

I gazed at her inquiringly, and she nodded her head in a fashion which assured me she understood my glance.

But the scent of food within drove all else out of my mind, and I made bold to enter. I enjoyed a rich repast in every way equal to the one of the night before, after which I ascended the ladder and was soon asleep.

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XXI

_My vigor renewed by another night of refreshing
repose, I proceed on my journey, overcoming, in
turn, a sharp decline covered with round, smooth,
loose stones, a swarm of hornets, a slippery, zigzag
descent, a great lake filled with countless leeches,
and a wedge in the forest._

WHAT bothered me for a moment in the morning was the fact the path I must take led me directly away from that dear palace; but this I did not permit to disturb me any great length, for the presence of the palace told me distinctly I was on the right track, and I would vary from it on no account.

I gazed long and earnestly on the beautiful object, and when I at last turned around and started forward I heard an exclamation of joy, and on looking at the old woman standing in the door I saw a smile on her face, and I considered that she had given voice to some thought in her peculiar mind, for I saw nothing taking place that could cause any sentiment.

So on I journeyed and came to a sharp decline which was so covered with perfectly round, loose pebbles it would have been a very hazardous undertaking to have attempted to descend. In fact, I tried it, and quickly found myself sprawling and tumbling, bringing up against the edge of the path much bruised and shaken.

I scrambled to the top, as I had come but a few busy feet, and sat down, as was my invariable custom when I wished to think deeply.

Glancing about I saw four sticks of dead timber of about equal length. Those I secured, for they were neither “leaves, blossoms, nor twigs.” In searching among the stones I found four which had holes in them, and they happened to be of sufficient depth and size to admit the ends of my sticks. When I had fixed the sticks firmly by pounding them in, I secured some dead roots and bound the other sticks on the first two in such manner as to make a very serviceable wagon, as I had tied them together so as to permit the first two to turn readily.

I then placed my hands on the front axle, so as to regulate the speed of my descent, and my knees on the cross sticks. In this manner I went down quite handily. Though I was somewhat shaken, I reached the bottom in very good shape, as the pebbles and stones rolled under my wheels in such a way as to make a very soft ball-bearing, and the descent was quite easy, albeit rapid.

Here another difficulty met me, and I should certainly have been stung to death but for my presence of mind, as the way was literally filled with hornets, sizzing here and there with terrible swiftness.

I quickly tore loose one of my axles, which was hollow. The pathway here was thick with dust. By putting the end of my axle in the dust and blowing through it with all my lung power, I stirred up such a cloud the hornets lost their way and failed to find me. By walking slowly along, covered by the cloud of dust and completely enveloped in it, I came safely through the hornets’ territory, suffering only from one or two of their stings.

I next came to where the path went down another slope, so steep the road went down it in a zigzag course, each turn being a very sharp angle. In such manner are the roads constructed up the sides of steep mountains. If the roadbed had not been of a peculiar composition I should easily have gone forward; but it was of soapstone, and the mountain side being full of springs the stone was thus kept moist, and was therefore very slippery. One of the rules said distinctly I should not depart from the path on any pretense whatever, and I knew very well if I started down and slipped, which I was quite likely to do, I should certainly shoot over the edge of the path, and thus break the rule if I did not break my neck, and both would probably result.

Even had I my wagon I could not turn the abrupt comers. So, what was I to do? If I had not followed my usual method of sitting down to think it out, I should in all probability be at the top of that slope yet, still thinking.

As it was, though I did sit down I remained in a sitting posture no great length of time, for immediately beneath me was an enormous bumblebees’ nest, and a number of the most pugnacious resented at the point of their swords my trespass on their territory, and with great alacrity I coincided in their views.

Thus it was I was enabled to make the descent with no discomfort whatever; for, having lighted my pipe, I blew a cloud of smoke into the nest, so the inhabitants were only too glad to fly away and let me do my worst, which consisted in extracting enough of their store of honey with which to coat the soles of my boots enough times to keep them in such condition they would adhere tightly to the soapstone until I had reached the plain below, which I did, as I have said, very neatly.

At the bottom of this incline I had another view of the gorgeous palace; but the path again led away from it, and I followed it with grim determination, feeling, however, just a little doubtful about the justice of further perplexities in my path. Yet, she it was who had planned them, and I was finally but too glad to do her sweet bidding, realizing it was but a question of time, as I feared no further impediments. And I could but scold myself for taking the path I did, for there was another leading directly toward my goal. Though I felt that in all my travels I had never been beset in such a brief compass of time with so many obstacles, and would gladly have seen the end of them, I could not satisfy myself the other path was the proper one, and my judgment again proved unerring.

And the next barrier interposed, which temporarily stopped my further progress, came near causing me to give up the whole affair, and I should probably have done so had not I imagined I heard a scornful laugh when my discomfiture was most apparent on my countenance—I say, had it not been for the stinging of that laugh, I might have lain down right there and died from wounded pride.

And though that titulation was but an hallucination of my brain, it sent my forces back into the ranks and I went at the obstacle in such a business-like way it was soon a thing of the past.

The obstacle was a lake about two miles wide. Now, I could easily have swam it, but it was well tenanted with a large variety of leech, as I was made aware when I recklessly launched myself upon its surface, for they attacked me in such numbers their weight would have drowned me then and there had I reached a sufficient distance from the shore to have been in water over my head. As it was I was so thoroughly tired out in carrying myself thus burdened with them back to shore I sat down with only enough power remaining to remove them and cast them on the ground.

It was at that moment I thought I heard the scornful laugh, and I was then gazing at those leeches anything but pleasantly, for they had all but spent my entire strength in the brief space during which they had been fastened on me.

My eye caught sight of a small feather on the sand, and a broad smile must have appeared on my face, for I was instantly filled with joy.

I bit off the small tip of the quill and likewise enough of the other end to permit me to blow out the pith. I was forbidden to kill anything, and I did not propose to kill these leeches unless it became necessary; but I admit I bore them no good will, and under other circumstances I could have enjoyed tearing them to pieces one by one.

I inserted the quill in each in turn and blew up a hundred or more of them until they looked like great balls. I then put the mouth of one to the side of another, to which it adhered tenaciously, until I had a square of them several feet across. I then made another square of the same size, and laid that on top of the first, and then another, and laid that on top of the second, and still another on top of the third.

I pushed my raft into the water and got upon it. As there was quite a breeze blowing, I spread my mantle and sailed slowly but positively to the point on the other side at which the path continued its course.

As I walked along I noticed the trees on either side were increasing in height and becoming thicker and closer to the path as I went on, with the result I at length found myself in what might well be termed a pocket, with trees towering two hundred feet in the air, and so close together it was impossible for me to squeeze between the next two, the last two having flattened me all nature would stand.

Through a narrow slit I saw the path continued, but of such narrowness was this aperture I could barely put my arm through it.

I sat down to think it out; or, rather, in lieu of sitting I leaned against a tree, for they were too closely set to permit me to sit.

I could think of no way out of the dilemma, and was so tired withal I fell sound asleep. When I opened my eyes it was as black as a ton of coal. I went again to sleep, as I received no new thought, and was awakened by a peal of thunder. The air was literally full of lightning sparks, darting about in every conceivable direction, crossing each other at every possible angle, and from the distance came the roar of a frightful wind. I was about to be overtaken by a cyclone, and I could do nothing but wait. I dared not depart from the path, and, in fact, the path was as safe as any place. I knew very well if the storm center should pass in my vicinity I should be killed by the falling timber; yet I was determined not to give up my purpose—I would rather die complying with the rules.

The storm seemed an age in coming, and at last I saw the whirling center would pass far enough away not to carry me up in its funnel; this I could tell by the noise among the trees. It was terrible; what majestic wrenchings were going on! How the great forest giants struggled, only to be torn up by the roots or twisted into splinters and hurled furiously away! And the rushing of the wind—what horrors it contained—a demon freed and wreaking his vengeance for having been imprisoned—how he shrieked in his mad delirium! How he howled and hissed in his tantrum! It nearly froze the marrow in my bones.

A strong current of air was rushing by me, and growing steadily stronger each second. I should be picked up by it before the end and whirled—the Lord knew where—but I prayed I should not be taken out of the path.

I felt the first real gush of the tearing wind. It was entering my pocket. What would it do? I did not have long to wait for my answer, brought by the wind itself. The pressure it exerted soon became almost unbearable, and while the tension was at its height a vivid flash of lightning showed me that the trees in my path were being forced apart, and even now the slit was wide enough for me to spring through. No sooner thought than done. And all I had to do was to loosen my grip on the tree to which I had been holding and be blown through by the rushing wind. The blast that took me through was the last throe in that particular vicinity.

I was lying on the ground, much jarred and bruised, but decidedly happy, for the path lay before, waiting for my feet. So I gave thanks to the storm and proceeded to finish my nap, for it was now dark, and I was completely fagged.

When the dawn made things again clear I could not refrain from inspecting the place through which I had come.

Now, there are times in every man’s life when he feels he has been a sad mistake; that when his anatomical machine was assembled it was not put together right; that there is a screw loose somewhere in his being. And so it then seemed to me as I gazed at the slot between the trees.

There was but one excuse for me, my brains must have been lost in the last episode, or I had lost the combination to my thought-maker. There before my eyes stood the monument of my stupidity; there was the proof I was nothing but a streaked ninnyhammer of the rankest breed. There stood the slot as my accuser, the witness whose testimony should send me to a home for incurable imbeciles.

While it was true that for twenty-five or fifty feet it was impossible for me to get between the trees, yet it was also true that by the distance of one hundred feet there was ample space for my passage. It would have taken time, of course, to have climbed up and down between each pair of trees. Ah, greater evidence of my moon-eyed condition. By climbing to the limbs I might have run like a squirrel from one tree to another the entire distance.

It is nothing to my credit I should have been compelled to have jumped several rods through the air between two trees, for my mental sagacity had not got so far as that. I felt humiliated beyond expression. Never before had I been compelled to call on the forces of Nature to help me out of a difficulty. It would be the last time. There was consolation in that.

However, it was best as it was, for there might have been a question whether or not climbing the trees would have been leaving the path.

Nevertheless, I turned from the scene in a state of complete disgust, absolutely forgetting I had had not a morsel to eat since the prior morning. This was brought back with all its pain by the sight of the style of a house with which I had become familiar. I suffered not this time my natural diffidence to retard me from entering without ceremony and taking possession of the only chair at the table. Neither could I resist taking a short nap after the meal, for I had slept anything but comfortably; and should not have slept at all but from complete exhaustion.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

XXII

_I continue to proceed and outwit an immense giant;
escape from a herd of angry cattle; scale a water
fence; meet a friendly spider._

WHEN I arose from my siesta I observed the dame in charge of the caravansary was less dumb than the others I had met, and that her countenance bore evidence of the passing over it of a late smile or two. The faces of the others were so placid a really pleasant emotion would have slipped up on them had it attempted to cross their countenances.

These were my meditations as I passed along my way.

My late experiences had not dimmed my ardor in the least, and the refreshment both of victuals and of sleep had restored me to a very vigorous condition. So high-spirited was I that when I came to an immense giant sitting on a stump by the pathside, I was not in the least abashed or flustered. He was forming a toothpick by the aid of a pocket knife which would have answered me quite well for a sword, and he glanced at me quite merrily out of the corner of his eye.

Now, while I was not a giant in stature, I was not by any means this man’s inferior in real strength, as will be shown by the following incident.

I bade him good-day, and after conversing with him for a time I made as if to go on, when he said I should have to kill him first.

I told him it was against the rules to kill any living thing within the enclosure, and his reply was quite to the point; for he said I would never pass on then.

I told him I thought I should go right on about my business, just as though I had not had the honor of his acquaintance; that I did not consider he could possibly prevent me from doing just as I liked. But such talk aside, he was not so strong or powerful as he undoubtedly thought he was; that he had plenty of bulk, I was willing to admit, but it was nothing else—it had no life in it.

This he did not agree with; but I insisted I was right, for I was sure I could outrun him, or outjump him, and do anything requiring quickness better than he could.

He only grinned.

I told him he certainly must admit I could jump higher than he could in proportion to my height.

I stood in the middle of the path, and springing nimbly upward, caught a branch of the tree and brought it down with me, being exceedingly careful not to pluck a leaf from it.

The limb next above that one was several good feet higher and quite strong enough to sustain his weight should he reach it, as I knew he quite well could.

The temptation was too great for him, and so he walked backward, to keep it in view all the time, to where I had stood, and stooping gave a very fine leap, in which he caught the branch all well enough, and I likewise caught his feet and ran swiftly in the direction in which I wished to go, a sufficient distance to bring him his full length on the ground, which he struck with sufficient force to stun or daze him, and he was not aware of my escape until I was too far away for him to overtake me, and I saw no more of him.

My ears next caught a sound which turned out to be the bellowing of a herd of cattle, coming at a terrific speed down my path. There were several hundred of them, according to the count I made of them as they were passing me, and they were in very much of a hurry and frightfully excited, one old bull in the lead having his head down, uttering dreadful cries and snorting viciously.

They would quickly be upon me, and they were so thick and dense I could not squeeze to one side and let them pass without being trod upon.

My presence of mind saved me from an awful death; a few seconds longer of delay on my part and I should have been crushed by their horrid hoofs. In those few seconds I grasped a sapling, bent its top into the path, took a firm hold and let go the other hand, swinging clear of their heads and horns just in the nick of time.

And my new dilemma was as great as the one I had safely passed. The leaves were so thick and so were the little branches, it became a very serious matter to fall to the ground without carrying with me a leaf or two or a twig or so. I was satisfied I could not escape such a catastrophe, and was about to resign myself to my fate, when a most peculiar thing happened.

A mammoth spider was spinning his web among the branches above my head, and his web was like linen thread. A happy thought came into my mind, and I was about to put it into execution when I saw he had stretched a thread across the path and I had disarranged this when I had bent down the tree, and he was now about to repair the damage. The best of it all was his main line was quite within my reach, along which he was just then traveling.

He belonged to a distinct species, specimens of which I have not seen since, for he spun five threads at a time. His progress was not very rapid, for he braided the threads together as he went.

He reached the other side, and after having made fast the end of his braid or rope, he came just as slowly back, leaving another line trailing behind.

When he reached a point just above me and had securely fastened his line by wrapping it several times around a good limb, and glueing it, I began to tease him with a small branch that I twisted around for the purpose, and he became so enraged he lost his hold and fell to the ground.

I quickly snipped the line which he had spun in his descent, pulled myself up to his rope bridge, along which I went hand over hand until I reached the middle of the path, where I swayed up and down until I could let go and drop to the ground without injury, which I did, quite glad of my escape from certain death; for so read the rule, and I could have come down in no other way without bringing with me many leaves and some twigs.

In a short time I came to a stop, as the path had done the same. I could not determine where it continued, for there was a very respectable waterfall into which it led, and over which, or rather up which, it undoubtedly went. No man could swim or climb that torrent of water; but mount it I must, for there was no path leading in any other direction.

I sat for a long time with my feet in the water, having removed my boots for the purpose, as my feet were hot from the long walk; but I could not concoct any scheme for scaling the water fence.

I was just dropping into a doze, when I heard a splashing below me and saw some great sturgeon preparing to shoot the falls. It took me no time at all to wade into the water, and as a big one shot by, grasp him by his caudal fin, and I was up the chute before I had time to breathe. In fact, the transit was so sudden it was quite a spell before I got my breath back again; but I did it just in time to save myself from being swept back, for the great fish had shaken me loose when we had barely passed the verge.

But I had left my boots below, and I could never enter the presence of the Princess barefoot. So I secured them in this manner:

Disengaging one of the rope-walks of the giant spider I fastened one end to a long stone of such size and shape as when I threw it into the leg of the boot it stuck tight, and I was enabled to draw it up. I got the first one easily enough, but was less fortunate with the second, for as I was pulling it over the fall, a fish swallowed it, thinking it was some bait intended for him, and I had a very severe struggle with him. Had it not been for the strength of my rope I should have lost my boot; but the fish, evidently becoming convinced he would be delayed too long if he remained until he had his meal, peacefully coughed up the boot and went on.

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XXIII

_I offer a few suggestions and relate other
experiences which happened after I had reached the
palace for which I had so long been striving, where
I meet the “sweetest woman ever born,” whose husband
I have the honor of becoming._