Chapter I: NEED not detail all the vicissitudes through which I passed before I (3)

As it was afterward learned, this was the very robber my grandfather was in search of, and well knowing he would not make an attempt on his house while he was at home he had had it thus given out that he was away. So the man got himself into bed, as he thought it as well to do, inasmuch as he did not intend to commence his depredations until late at night, and having some distance to travel thereafter he might thus refresh himself.

About this time the room was suddenly filled with a deep yellow light, and grinning skeletons rattled their bones in every corner.

Now this robber was a brave man, and looked upon these things for a moment with anger at being disturbed of his sleep.

Then as suddenly the light was changed and the skeletons became so red they had all the appearance of being covered with fresh blood. And now great red hands appeared flying about the room apparently in search of the man. This seemed slightly to disconcert the thief and he covered himself up with the exception of one eye.

Then the skeletons vanished and large balls of fire raced about the room, and when he saw one of them making for his eye he really became frightened and covered that eye up also.

Now came clanging chains and hideous groans and weeping and wailing most horrible to hear. This so filled him with terror he shivered and his teeth chattered.

In his frenzy, for he was becoming very much excited, he tore off the covering and upon each corner of the bed hung a devilish green monster licking his jaws and eyeing him hungrily with glittering eyes.

He now became desperate and would have fled, but when he made the slightest movement to rise those monsters started toward him, and he hurried beneath the covers.

Then came terrible sounds, the like of which he had never heard, which were caused by the grating together of the teeth of the four monsters and the snapping of their eyes and the smacking of their lips, and he thought the building was on fire.

At last he was so overcome he sank into a stupor and was so found in the morning by the butler, who discovered that what was a man young and vigorous the night before was now an old man with white hair and sunken cheeks and wrinkled forehead, who prayed to be removed from the room that he might die in peace.

My forefather thereupon returning told him he could be removed only on the condition that he return all the gold and goods he had stolen and be a good citizen ever after.

This the man readily promised, and did as he promised he would.

Thus my ancestor not only ridded his kingdom of a pest but recovered his people their lost wealth, and he was much reverenced therefor.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

XIIII

_Still continuing the same document, and showing
what may naturally follow the possession of a
remarkable voice._

THIRD DOCUMENT—CONTINUED

_Item Seventh_

MY father’s voice was of such sweetness and strength when he would form his hands into a sort of trumpet and sing into them the very mountains were overcome and cast at his feet their treasures. It was by this means he saved his country from ruination at a time when a frightful panic shriveled all its industries.

The king was in sore distress when one day my father stood before him and asked what he would give to have sufficient gold and precious stones to tide him over his present difficulties. The king looked upon him with amazement, for he was but a peasant and poorly clad. But my father was not abashed, and stood his ground under the gaze, waiting for his answer.

Somehow the king did not desire to wound his feelings by a positive rejection of him, and therefore asked him by what means he expected to supply him the necessary funds. My father did not deign to answer him, but repeated his question.

At this the king became quite wroth, and my father seeing this began to sing a little song which so thrilled the king he was soon in tears. He thereupon answered my father sensibly, saying he could have whatever he asked if he would only relieve his people.

Then my father requested of him as many wagons and oxen as he could spare, which the king sent with him as he went toward a certain mountain and arrived in due time.

When he was at its foot, he commanded the wagoners to stop and he stood on a log, beginning to sing softly to himself.

The birds ceased their warbling; the wild beasts of the forests came in herds and stood about him.

He grew more earnest and the leaves of the trees paused in their fluttering; the winds sunk into silence; the blades of grass stretched their necks; the flowers quit distilling perfume, and the bees were mute.

Then it was that my father formed his hands into a horn and sang into this with such sweetness and power of tone the mountain began to tremble in ecstasy; its sides opened and streams of molten gold and silver, carrying a covering of all manner of precious gems, flowed to his feet, and the jewels formed themselves into piles at his side, and the gold and silver became blocks and arranged themselves into pyramids several feet high. Thereupon the gems filled up the triangle of each step of each pyramid in this order, diamonds first, emeralds next, then pearls, then rubies, then sapphires, and so on until every precious stone was represented by a band, and upon the apex there was fitted in a diamond of such rarity it vied with the sun in luster.

Then a very strange thing happened. The wagons were silently arranged in such manner the pyramids were made to rest upon them so they might be hauled away, which my father then commanded be done.

When this gorgeous display was brought before the king he was so filled with joy he drew my father to his breast, saying he would share his kingdom with him. To which my ancestor would not consent until the king had promised to banish all lenders of money from the kingdom and to behead whoever should thereafter lend money at usury or whoever should refuse to lend money at a reasonable interest.

And thus it was that that kingdom never more knew troublous times.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

XV

_Being the eighth and last item of this document
containing some very interesting exploits of my
father, which I know the reader will enjoy and
profit by._

THIRD DOCUMENT—CONTINUED

_Item Eighth_

AND now I am in duty bound to add a bit of personal history that it may descend with the above historic accounts of the doings and sayings of my ancestry, in order that future generations may not become conceited in the contemplation of their achievements, as they must be of a less wonderful quality each succeeding year, for the great men are rapidly becoming fewer and fewer and the earth at length will not possess a single one whose deeds will be worthy of recording.

So, out of pride for the past and passing grandeur of my ancestors and their descendants, I yield to my sense of responsibility and pen a sketch or two which should inspire my children and their children with gratitude that they should have been my children and therefore the children of my forefathers.

Be it known then that my great propensity was war. The clash of arms always possessed a fascination I could not withstand. And to that one fact my nation owes its existence, for had I remained at home on a certain day the entire country would have been devastated and the kingdom have gone into other hands. It happened in this wise:

The army of our king had been fighting continuously for many months and it was composed of such great numbers the provender had been exhausted and the warriors were beginning to die of starvation. While it is true a knight may live and fight many days without food and not lose in his execution, yet there is a limit beyond which his power wanes. This limit had been reached some time since and our knights were mere shadows while the forces of our enemies were still well provided with food, were lusty and rampant, and were hewing down great numbers of our chivalry with ease.

I had been detained from the field, for the king could not dispense with my personal service; but when this state of things became known to me I told the king he must excuse my absence, and I departed, much to his displeasure.

When I reached the camp my heart sank within me, for my sorrow was deep upon beholding the wasted forms of such mighty men, still determined of mind but incapacitated of body.

I had brought with me a great auger, which I could make of any length, and, after a few moments spent in calculation, I bored with such persistence the auger seemed to be forced downward by superhuman power. While I was boring with one hand, with the other I formed a great basin about me from softened rock or cement I had brought with me, which hardened as fast as I had it in proper shape, which happened at the time I had my auger at the proper depth.

I thereupon withdrew the auger, and with a single bound cleared the basin just as a stream of liquid, the full size of the hole made by the auger, shot upward and the basin was soon comfortably filled.

The men all being exceedingly thirsty ran with great speed to the edge of the basin, and began to drink. It did my heart good to note the expression of pleasure which instantly spread over their emaciated faces, and to see them motioning to their comrades with their hands to hurry up, but without removing their lips from the liquid. Their strength increased as their hunger decreased, and when they were satisfied they fell upon the enemy like a whirlwind, slaughtering them in every direction, and what were not killed fled precipitately from the country.

Then it became known what manner of spring it was that was so stimulating, and how it had been brought about.

Well knowing the geological formation of the neighborhood, I was aware that at a certain depth there flowed a stream of hot water; above this was a stratum of oysters and shellfish that had been left there by the drain-off of an inlet from the ocean; above this was a stratum of salt which had kept the oysters fresh and good; above this was a layer of pungent earth; above this the ordinary deposits. So that, first the hot water rushed up through the oyster bed, turned the oysters into soup, which next rushed through the salt and was thus seasoned agreeably, and next rushed through the pungent earth, and was given just enough spice to whet the appetite.

And thus it was that oyster soup furnished by Nature won the kingdom for our king.

At another time there was a great wolf hunt proposed by the king in my honor. As I knew the road would lead through a country well filled with streams both wide and narrow, I selected a very slender but exceedingly wiry steed for a purpose that will appear hereafter.

The wolf being located and started, the hounds came down the mountain side in full cry. I had alighted to tighten the girth when they got off; but this did not disconcert me in the least, being quite sure of myself and of my horse.

As I had expected, I overtook them at the bank of a very deep and violent stream. Some horses had refused the wading and some riders, thinking it imprudent to venture, had started around by another way. I sounded my horn as I came on at full speed, notwithstanding the cries of warning which rang from their throats. My horse struck the edge of the bank, made a gallant leap, but would have landed in the water about one-third the way across, but being a man of extraordinary strength, just as he struck the surface of the water I lifted him by the pommel of the saddle, and he made another spring, and just as he struck the water again I lifted him once more, and by a magnificent leap we gained the other side, just as the hounds had brought the wolf at bay within a few hundred yards.

Thinking it unfair to rob my brethren of the pleasure of the death, I waited for them with my lance poised.

The wolf was a monarch of his race and very tough indeed, as was afterward proved. For, when my comrades arrived, he broke through the hounds and made off in long and speedy bounds.

Being at too great distance for my lance, I drew my Winchester, and taking deliberate aim with my horse at full speed I let drive. The wolf was so startled he turned abruptly right about just as the bullet reached his middle, on its course clear through him, and thus sent the bullet back with undiminished velocity, and it struck my good horse between the eyes and went through the entire length of him.

And ever after he was no use in the chase of wild beasts, for the bullet had left the bones of his head in such shape about the hole whenever he was put at a swift gait he became a gigantic organ pipe and frightened the game long before we came upon it.

As it was, however, the wolf was dead, and I had the honor of carrying his scalp home. The manner of his death I almost forgot to mention, for the bullet did not dispatch him.

Having turned about, and the missile’s passage having made him very irritable, he made directly for me. Turning my horse to one side just before he reached me I bent low and sent my lance down his throat, catching the head as it came through and bringing up the wolf nicely impaled upon it—he being then stone dead, for the lance had passed through his heart.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

XVI

_In which I retail a few extraordinary incidents
occurring in my travel in a mountainous region, with
which the world at large is slightly acquainted,
chief among them being a midnight attack made upon
me by a drove of lions and a race for life on the
back of an ostrich I had hatched in the desert._

THE perusal of the preceding documents had caused me much pleasure and profit, and I feel sure the reader has been delighted with them; though I must confess I was very greatly disappointed in them in one essential, which was, that, while they detailed interesting episodes and neat little batches of history, they gave me rather a mean idea of my ancestry, which I had prized most highly as being men of capability and consequence. Except in a few instances this idea was not borne out by the documents, as I say, much to my chagrin. I had understood the marvels they had performed had been thrilling, blood-curdling, fire-eating, terror-striking, etc., and to find them so exceedingly mild when compared with my own exploits, which I shall have the pleasure hereafter to relate, was, as I say again, decidedly humiliating. The published accounts of my grandfather’s travels led me to believe that could I get at the real history of the matter there would be food for the gods, and I had found broth for the invalid.

But be that as it may, there was one part of the papers which caused me to turn the thought over once or twice in my mind as to visiting the center of the earth, which I did, and my experiences during that voyage I will give you at another time.

Suffice it then to say that I ended the trip by being volcanoed out, and I will recount to you what occurred immediately after my advent.

I was somewhat disturbed upon ascertaining I had landed in a small clearing in a pine forest at a very high altitude. Had it not been for the heat caused by the eruption of the volcano I have no doubt I should have found myself several yards down in a snow-bank. But so hot had the fire from the crater been the ground was almost too hot to stand upon and I made haste to find more comfortable quarters.

As I was wending my way through the thick forest I heard a great hissing behind me, and to my astonishment observed a river of lava rushing after me at terrific speed. It was of such width I could not run counter and hope to escape. It so happened that in front of me was an inextricable mass of fallen timber, pitch pine almost entirely, and upon this I quickly placed myself. It was so matted together I believe it would have made a convenient raft upon which to take my ride down the incline.

On came the lava, shooting, spurting along, until it lifted my raft on its red-hot bosom and bore it swiftly onward, consuming everything else in its passage.

I soon became aware it was likewise making inroads on my lifeboat, and the dense volume of smoke which began to rise from it gave me an idea.

My mantle had served me well so far, and I now prepared it with greater care, and, therefore, obtained better service from it than I had done in my descent from the sky.

I tied a rope to each corner and it was quickly filled by a mass of pitchy smoke which was ascending all about me. I had got ready none too soon, for the heat was beginning to scorch me, as the balloon tugged a moment at its cargo and slowly rose. To make sure of a trip of sufficient duration I snatched a number of large pine knots blazing furiously, and held them beneath my chariot.

I must have presented a weird spectacle to the inhabitants, sailing through the air suspended by my parachute and surrounded by a ring of flashing, sputtering, sizzling torchlights. I had quite a comfortable seat where the ropes crossed, and from this position I selected a verdant place to disembark, and succeeded remarkably well, for I landed not only on a nice soft spot, but what was decidedly better, for I was beastly hungry, at a hunter’s camp, and it had been recently occupied, for there were standing against a tree several fine Remington rifles and one Winchester, with full magazines, as I learned.

What then bothered me was the whereabouts of the owners of these fine articles; but as night was coming on rapidly, I made myself comfortable for a good sleep.

I cannot tell what hour it was when I was awakened by a frightful roaring near at hand. Placing my arsenal handy I awaited developments with expectation, knowing if there was one thing above another at which I was an expert it was in the use of firearms.

There was not much delay in the operations, for the lions had undoubtedly been driven from their haunts by the heat from the volcano, by the light from which I soon discovered an immense drove of fine ones on the first ridge between me and the lurid mountain. I counted a hundred, and there were many, very many more—not to say anything about the cubs. And it was to the presence of these young ones that I attributed the fierceness of the old ones.

My experienced eye told me they were advancing directly toward me and I must make ready for them. My knowledge of this game was such I knew my artillery would be of no power whatever against these rapacious animals when once they had scented me, which they quickly did.

Now, what I was to do I did with celerity, and it was to ascend a palm tree and ensconce myself in its branches, taking with me the ropes with which I had constructed my parachute.

As is usually the case the monarch of the herd led the way and was the first to come beneath the tree. In following my scent he ran his head through the noose I had hung down for the purpose. I thereupon gave him such a sudden and powerful jerk as to break his neck. Another came and I treated him to a hanging. And so it went until two massive fellows got their heads in at the same time, and, knowing it would require additional effort to crack such vertebrae I gave them an extra twist; but it seems they must have sprung into the air at the exact moment, and between the force of my arm and the spring of their limbs, they went to such a height as to pass clear over the tree and, what was worse than all, carried my noose with them.

There still remained about twenty females and their young, and these seemed inclined to camp out there and then, which was not at all to my liking. They must have been almost starved, for they fell upon the bodies of their lords and masters with a horrible snarling and snapping.

All would probably have been well if I had not in a spirit of wantonness shot one of the cubs with the only bullet I had brought up, not thinking I should have occasion to use the firearms at all. This so angered the mothers they held a council how to get me down. They began to smell around the guns and I was thunderstruck to see one gray-whiskered old female take the Winchester between her paws, point it at me, and begin to fumble for the trigger. I did not lose my presence of mind, and proceeded to put into execution another plan for ridding myself of these obnoxious beasts.

My knowledge of ventriloquism did me splendid service. I threw my voice into a clump of bushes right behind the madam with the gun, which so startled her she lowered the point of the rifle and while she was turning around to learn the exact whereabouts of the intruder she dispatched the piece twelve times in rapid succession, killing a lion at every crack. Then I threw my voice in such manner as to keep her turning and by the time she had got back to the starting point she had disposed of several more.

Then I threw my voice immediately beneath her and gave a terrific yell, which caused her to bound into the air and discharge her gun as she went, which happened to be pointed toward the other rifles, and the ball somehow or other struck in such a manner as to discharge several of them, one of the balls disposing of her in excellent style, the others killing the few remaining.

I quickly descended from my perch and captured all the cubs, which I tied together and fed with the flesh of the dead lions.

In the morning the hunters returned and their astonishment at the havoc I had wrought among the lions, they could not find an end to their congratulations. I sold them the young lions for a handsome fortune and gave them the hides of the old ones, as they were in the employ of some museums and parks and were out hunting lions for their employers. They had expected to remain a year and this was their first camp. As they only desired twenty lions they could now go back at once with their herd of fifty beautiful cubs.

After they had gone away rejoicing, I laid my course in another direction which finally brought me to the desert.

Wishing to reach an oasis I pressed on, but night overtaking me I lay down on a little mound and went to sleep.

I was awakened at the break of day by the approach of a flock of ostriches coming pellmell toward me. In my hurry to be prepared for them I disengaged my burning fluid from my pocket, and before I could recover it some of it had been spilled on the mound. I had barely time to grab around the neck the young ostrich that was hatched by the heat produced by my fluid—for it was an ostrich nest on which I had slept.

This chick must have been pretty well saturated by the fluid for his growth was prodigious. As he had been born so suddenly, and therefore was a very newcomer in the neighborhood, he became frightened by the noise made by the mothers and fathers of the brood and made off with me on his back, he going at the top of his speed.

I may be pardoned for remarking it was the prettiest race I had ever witnessed, and I believe now I did a very contemptible thing, though it did not so appear to me at the time.

The flock was in ripe feather and represented a goodly pile of gold. As I sped along I concerned myself with the problem of their capture, and I was not long in formulating a plan.

Having observed the growing effect of the fluid on the chick I spread some more of it on him. The result was marvelous indeed, for he grew to such a height it made me dizzy to look upon the flying ground. He expanded in every direction, and his back became large enough for me to walk around upon it with comfort.

By dint of exercising some caution I secured a bit in his mouth and was pleased to find he answered quite readily to the rein.

I then turned him about and made for the flock, which stood in open-mouthed wonder—for none of them had ever seen such a chick. He so shook the earth with his tread that it frightened them and they made off at the top of their speed, which appeared to me quite slow, as I had not the slightest difficulty in riding down first one and then another and pulling out the best feathers. This I continued to do until I had a bale of them many feet square. Then I put them into a frenzy and they scurried across the sand out of sight. I thereupon stopped my horse and alighted with my bale of ostrich feathers. Perhaps it was the love of mother or of father or home, anyhow something, some impulse took possession of my chick and he trotted away leaving me in the burning sand. I grabbed at his tail as he started, but only succeeded in getting fifty or sixty feathers, each about ten feet long and all beautifully curled.

I was somewhat fatigued and lay down on my bale. When I awoke I was surrounded by a herd of Arabs, all with their faces in the sand, muttering exhortations. I spoke in their own tongue, commanding the shiek to arise. When he had done so I asked him the cause of this proceeding. He seemed tongue-tied, with hardly strength enough left to point at the feathers of the young bird.

I asked him what that had to do with it, and after about an hour of urging, with the greatest difficulty he told me, but he had to turn his back to the long feathers, for every time his eyes caught sight of them, he wiggled and twisted, gasped and choked, and would have burrowed his head in the sand at my feet if I had not made him stand up straight.

He said he had no words to describe his admiration for a man who could find such feathers. After about another hour he managed to face the feathers again with composure, though he accomplished it by the exercise of great care; he turned but an inch at a time, and first took a very little peek out of the tail of his eye, then one a little larger after he had got over his spasms, and so on until at last he was fairly capable of real thought. Then he begged the privilege of hefting one of them. I handed one to him, whereupon he cried aloud to his followers, who jumped to their feet and began to sing as he waved the feather backward and forward. When he had finished he returned it to me most tenderly and fell upon his face; whereupon the others did likewise.

I again spoke to him, commanding him to rise and command his fellows to do the same. Then I communicated to them my desire to dispose of my stock. They could do nothing but look at me and at the long feathers; not a word did they utter for such a time I became provoked and said if they did not want to buy to begone.

They shook their heads, saying there was no man among them rich enough to buy them. I told them to pile up their money in front of me, that I might know how much they had. I was surprised at the quantity; for it was considerable—as much as I had any particular use for. I divided the bale into equal parts, one for each Arab, and asked them if that was a fair exchange for their money, and I never saw such grinning since I learned to swim.

There were fifty women in the party, and to each of those I gave a feather from my feathered horse’s tail, and they took turns in embracing me—in fact, they kept it up until I was sore from head to foot, for sometimes there were three or four at it at once, strung along from my neck to my ankles, and I begged them to desist.

The shiek insisted I should select a wife or two from the lot as a slight token of his esteem. This kind offer I politely refused, giving as my reason that I was a man of adventure, and could not very well be burdened with a wife. At this, one of the most beautiful of the girls fell to weeping and tearing her hair. I had great difficulty in reducing her grief sufficiently for her to part with me; but at last, by filling a water-bag with gold, and presenting it to her, together with the remainder of the long feathers, I got away.

The Arabs made a pretty sight as they moved across the desert, their feathers nicely wrapped in tissue paper and waving above their heads.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

XVII

_In which I give an account of the receipt of a
curious message concerning a most beautiful princess
and a labyrinth, and start out in search of both. I
also give some details on transactions on the way,
which I trust will be diverting._

ON reaching an oasis, I was very thirsty, and sought the well, to which I descended, and had about satisfied myself, when I observed a peculiar stone at the bottom, which I procured and was examining when I discovered it was hollow. Now, I knew not whether to break it open or seek some other means of ascertaining whether or not it contained anything of value. I pondered a while on the problem, when I found the stone was quite soft and easily crumbled in my hand. I was about to throw it away when I saw what appeared to be a piece of parchment rolled into a very small parcel. It proved to be what I had supposed it was, and upon it was written the following.:

To him who shall find this message I send greeting, and say unto
him that I am of great beauty and wealth, and that I have sent
this message forth in this manner in order that I may know that
he who shall bring it to me is a man of strength of purpose and
goodness of heart.

For I am lone and lonely, having placed myself in the center of
a troublesome labyrinth, which will test the powers of the most
acute.

But unto him who shall come to me and bring this message, I will
give my love and my wealth and my devotion.

He will know the labyrinth, for it is surrounded by pure white
trees in triple rows, and it is not many leagues from this
place.

TETE TETE.

Now, of all the things I most desired to encounter, a labyrinth was the thing. And as I considered about it, it occurred to me that of the world I had seen enough; in fact, about all there was to be seen, and a great longing for quiet and rest and the companionship of a loving wife came over me, and decided the matter.

But in which direction I was to look for the prize, I at once knew not, for as far as I could see was barren waste and sand.

I climbed to the top of a great palm tree, and gazed about me, but was no wiser.

So I lay down to rest, fell asleep, and dreamed of the princess and the troublesome labyrinth until the following day was well along.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

XVIII

_I continue my search for the labyrinth and come
upon a hermit who relates a rather interesting
story, which decides my course of action._