Chapter C: F. Greville (7)

Advt. "FOREIGN BIRDS.--Just arrived at No. 1 Coventry St.,
opposite the Haymarket, among which is, that renowned Bird the
Ostrich, described in ancient and modern History, to be the
largest in the world, it measures 9 feet high, and can admit of
two young Ladies or Gentlemen to ride on its back at a time. This
Bird exceeds, also, in strength, swiftness, and running, all the
feathered tribe in the Creation; it has the best plumage ever
seen on an Ostrich, in this country, for many years. There is
also a very extraordinary Bird, whose feathers resemble hair, and
which has very much the appearance of a beast, weighing near 200
lbs. weight. The Great Horned Owl, described as the inhabitant of
Babylon: the Royal crowned Crane of Africa, and other curious and
uncommon Birds: also a very singular Animal resembling a Spider,
called the Bush Devil; it makes use of its Tail as other Animals
do their paws. Admittance 1s. each, Children and Servants
6d."--(_Times, Jan. 5, 1795._)

We get a very vivid description of how illuminations after a great victory, were managed and received--in those which took place after Lord Howe's "Glorious first of June."

Earl Howe's Victory.

"Several mobs paraded about the streets, at one, and two o'clock,
yesterday morning, breaking the windows of those who had already
shown their good wishes to the general cause, by illuminating
their windows, but had retired to rest. Other houses again,
belonging to the Quakers, were damaged because no lights were put
forth. Such acts are contrary to the way of thinking of this very
respectable class of Citizens. In this outrageous manner did
several mobs proceed during the early part of yesterday morning,
to the very great inconvenience of domestic comfort, and
infringement on public tranquillity."--(_Times, June 13, 1794._)

* * * * *

"The Lord Mayor requests the Inhabitants of the City to
discontinue the Illuminations which have taken place since the
News received of the very glorious Victory obtained by the
British Fleet, under the command of Lord Howe. The Lord Mayor
hopes, that the Public will be satisfied with the general Joy
which has been so conspicuously expressed, and thinks that a
further display of it will tend to disturb the peace and good
order of the Metropolis."--(_Times, June 14, 1794._)

* * * * *

"Illuminations.--The very idea of the horrors attending the cry
of 'Put out your lights,' made a poor Loyal German, in
Bedfordbury, watch his little farthing rush-lights, on Wednesday
last, till a late hour. At length he ventured really to put out
his lights: prudently pasting up at his door the following notice
in capitals: 'Two o'clock--gone to bed. If I am to light again,
pray be so obliging as to ring the bell.'"--(_Times, June 19,
1794._)

* * * * *

"Mr. Wilkes bears the loss of his fine windows with that pleasant
humour so peculiar to him, and absolutely refuses to prosecute
any of the mob--'They are only,' said he, 'some of my pupils now
set up for themselves.'"--(_Times, June 21, 1794._)

* * * * *

Mr. Editor.

"A Gentleman of a village near town, in his zeal for illuminating
on the late joyful Victory by Lord Howe, placed so many candles
in his windows, and that in so negligent a manner, that by two in
the morning, three or four of his sashes were burnt. A Constant
Reader will be favoured by your making room for the following on
the occasion:--

"Village Illuminations.

"Quoth Dick, I scorn such mean display
As rush-lights, sixes and such trash is;
I show my zeal in a nobler way--
I d--n the French and burn my sashes."

--(_Times, July 14, 1794._)

* * * * *

"The following circumstance occurred last week at Long Milford
near Bury St. Edmund's: Three young Ladies of that place, one of
whom is very much celebrated for her mental, as well as personal,
accomplishments, agreed a few days since, to bathe in a river
about half a mile distant from the town, there being no private
accommodation for that purpose in the neighbourhood.

"An early hour, at which they would be the least liable to be
discovered by strangers, was determined on, and at four o'clock
in the morning, they proceeded from home to the appointed place.
As they walked through the town, they were espied by a
blacksmith, who, about the same hour, usually gets up to his
work. Curiosity prompted him to find out whither the fair ones
were bound: but he did not discover himself to them till they
were in the river, the perfect images of their mother _Eve_; when
perceiving him approach, they screamed out, and prudently sat
down in the water. The Modern _Vulcan_, dead to the distresses of
the Venus's, determined to divert his uncouth fancy by carrying
off their clothes, with which he did not return. In this pitiable
situation they were obliged to remain for near an hour, when a
poor woman passing that way, on hearing the rude behaviour they
had experienced, and their consequent embarrassment, procured
them such necessary articles of apparel, as enabled them to get
home.

"The blacksmith has since made a public boast of his exploit,
saying it was a fine piece of sport: and, owing to his unfeeling
and brutish conduct, the young Ladies have ever since been
ashamed to be seen, even by their relations."--(_Times, Aug. 8,
1794._)

* * * * *

"The three _water nymphs_ at Bury have preferred an indictment
against the blacksmith who stole their cloaths, and this may
probably turn out a very serious affair, and make poor _Vulcan_
pay for his _peeping_."--(_Times, Aug. 9, 1794._)

* * * * *

"Bath Charter.--A further degree of power, to be vested in the
Magistrates, being deemed necessary, a new charter was a short
time since granted for that purpose. It was sent by the Mail
Coach, and for want of care in the packing, the impression of the
Great Seal was knocked to atoms. It was presented to the Lord
Chancellor to be resealed: but this his Lordship refused unless
the Mayor and Corporation would petition the Court setting forth
the reasons. The Charter of Bath conveys the exclusive privilege
of electing _two Members_ to the British House of Commons to the
select Corporation of 26, excluding ALL the other
inhabitants."--(_Times, Aug. 9, 1794._)

We have seen, in the Historical Summary attached to this book, how gallantly, year after year, Wilberforce attacked slavery. In England, we see, they euphemised the word _slave_, and called them _Indented Black Servants_, the same as those poor wretched white slaves, the "Redemptioners" who sold themselves into bondage in the Plantations. See the following Advertisement.

"Absconded from his master's service at Cheltenham, on Friday
night the 8th August, between the hours of 9 and 10, an INDENTED
BLACK SERVANT LAD, named TONEY, aged about 19 or 20 years. He is
very black, and slender made, but with remarkably long feet. He
went off in a striped dressing jacket, nankeen waistcoat and
breeches, ribbed cotton stockings, shoes and plated buckles. He
is articled for 5 years, from the 21 April last; and upwards of
£30 has been laid out upon him, in having him taught to shave and
dress, cloathing, and other necessaries for him. A reward of TEN
POUNDS will be paid to any person who shall apprehend, and
deliver him, to Mr. Coningham, Sherborne Lane, London; or lodge
him in any Gaol in this Kingdom, and give notice thereof as
above. There is every reason to believe, that great art, and
industry, have been used to seduce, and spirit away, the lad;
otherwise that he would not have formed a thought of quitting his
master. If, therefore, any person will give such information, and
evidence, as shall be sufficient to convict any responsible
person of having enticed, seduced, or carried away, the negro lad
above described, a reward of TWENTY GUINEAS will be paid to the
person so informing, and giving evidence."--(_Times, Aug. 13,
1794._)

* * * * *

"On Tuesday last, the corpse of a Gentleman, as it was proceeding
in a hearse to the Burial Ground, was arrested by a Sheriff's
officer and his followers, under a warrant as usual granted
against the _body_. The friends who followed, immediately left
their coaches, and told the officer, if he chose, he was welcome
to the body, but he should have neither _coffin_, _shroud_, nor
any particle in which the body was enveloped; and if he took them
by force, he should be indicted for a _highway robbery_, as those
matters were the property of the Executors; nay, they went
further, and said, that as the deceased had, by his will,
bequeathed his body to the Executors, no _execution_ would hold
good against the corpse, the process must be against them. The
Bailiff, very properly being persuaded that the spirit of the law
meant a _living_, and not a dead _body_, marched off without
insisting on the _legality of his capture_. This is the first
instance of the kind that has happened since the arrest of the
dead body of a Sheriff of London, not many years
since."--(_Times, Sept. 5, 1794._)

* * * * *

"_To the_ CONDUCTOR _of the_ TIMES.

"Sir,--Leaving a shop in the City a few days ago, I fell into a
reverie with the thoughts of what trade would come to next
century: how it would be conducted, and by what description of
persons: as in the shop I had just left, one servant said to
another, 'Do you know were _Master_ S---- is gone'? Another
answers, _Mr._ R---- (which was an apprentice) knows: _ask him_.
Presently came down stairs a maid servant, to enquire whether all
the _gentlemen_ (meaning the shopmen) would come to dinner. Half
these _gentlemen_ were booted, as if going to take a morning's
ride. O tempore! O mores!"--(_Times, Sept. 30, 1794._)

* * * * *

"The Glove Manufacturers in the different counties, will no
doubt make the most of the Princess of Wales's delicate hand: but
there is something more than ordinarily ludicrous in the
extravagant anticipation of a Shopkeeper, at the West End of the
Town, who puts up in Roman characters, "Wedding-ring maker to the
Princess Caroline of Brunswick."--(_Times, Nov. 15, 1794_.)

The Lady Lade, here mentioned, once rode a race on horseback at New Market--but lost it:--

"_Lady Lade_ and _Mrs. Hodges_ are to have a _curricle race_ at
Newmarket, at the next Spring Meeting, and the horses are now in
training. It is to be a _five mile course_, and great sport is
expected. The construction of the traces is to be on a plan
similar to that by which _Lord March_, now Duke of Queensbury,
won his famous match against time. The odds, at present, are in
favour of _Lady Lade_. She runs a _grey mare_, which is said to
be the _best_ horse in the _Baronet's stables_."--(_Times, Dec.
20, 1794._)

* * * * *

"The following circumstance is extraordinary beyond parallel:--On
Tuesday se'nnight died, on her return from Bath, Miss Henrietta
Dickenson, the fourteenth daughter of the late John Dickenson,
Esq. of East Place, in Yorkshire, having attained precisely that
age at which each of her 13 sisters died."--(_Times, Dec. 22,
1794._)

* * * * *

"Crosthwaite Church, in the Vale of Keswick, Cumberland, hath
five chapels belonging to it. The Minister's stipend is five
pounds per annum, and _goose grass_, or the right of commoning
his geese: a _whittle gate_, or the valuable privilege of using
his knife for a week at any time, at any table in the parish; and
lastly, a _hardened sark_, or a shirt of coarse linen: whereas
the Rectory of Winweck, a small village in Lancashire, is the
richest living in England. The Rector is Lord of the Manor, and
has a glebe of £1400 annual rent. The whole living is worth £3000
a year."--(_Times, Dec. 26, 1794._)

* * * * *

"At Hanworth Booths, a public-house near to Lincoln, a few days
ago, a man dropped a Boston Bank Bill, value five guineas, which
momentarily disappeared, and a strict search was made without
producing any favourable effect. At length a woman present
recollected a playful _whelp_ chewing something apparently white.
This observation consigned the life of the poor dog to an
immediate sentence and he was instantly hanged, and his thorax
opened, wherein the lost bill was found in a mangled state: but
nevertheless the purport of the paper was evidently discoverable,
and cash to the amount was got for it at the Boston
Bank."--(_Times, Jan. 14, 1795._)

* * * * *

"In the various researches made throughout the house of
_Langleys_, the seat of John Jolliffe Tuffnell, Esq. in Essex,
two caskets of family Jewels have been found concealed amongst
old linen, and near £150,000 in specie, behind the books in the
library, the chief part of which sum he is supposed to have sold
out of the funds, with a view of purchasing some advertised
estates in that county."

* * * * *

"It is worthy of remark, that the number of deaths in this
metropolis, within the last few months past, amounts to double
what it ever has been, within the same space of time, since the
plague, which desolated London in the last century."--(_Times,
Feb. 20, 1795._)

* * * * *

"So great has been the mortality in the metropolis, that the
Undertakers, like the distressed Prompter we read of, have been
obliged 'to mow away brown.' A hearse with bay horses was
actually observed in one of the many melancholy processions in
the course of last week."--(_Times, March 7, 1795._)

* * * * *

"We are informed there is a Cask now building at Messrs Meux and
Co.'s Brewery, in Liquor-pond Street, Grays Inn Lane, the size of
which exceeds all credibility, being designed to hold twenty
thousand barrels of porter; the whole expense attending the same
will be upwards of £10,000."--(_Times, April 1, 1795._)

* * * * *

"Numbers, it is said, have gone into the King's Bench and Fleet
Prison, under an idea that there would be an Act of Grace, on
account of the Prince's marriage--but no such act is to take
place."--(_Times, April 27, 1795._)

* * * * *

"In the absence of our Reporter, we understand that Mr.
Mainwaring, on Monday, presented a Petition to the House of
Commons signed by above 10,000 Livery Servants, against the
Employing of Foreigners in that capacity; which not being
seconded, was not received."--(_Times, April 30, 1795._)

* * * * *

Advt.--ASTROLOGY. _Mrs._ NEWTON respectfully informs her friends
and the Public, that she continues at No. 111 in Wardour St.
Soho, where she may be consulted on Planetary Influence, as it
relates to, involves, and guides all the Events and Occurrences,
as Marriages, Legacies, Possession of Wealth, Attainment of any
particular Desire, the State of an Absent Friend by Sea or Land,
or whatever can interest our Hopes, or agitate our Fears. The
private Door in Portland St., and the Name under the
one-pair-of-stairs window."--(_Times, May 6, 1795._)

Medicinal Waters were in great repute, and if there were any spring, at all charged with mineral matter, near the Metropolis, it was a good thing for the proprietor. They existed at the Beulah Spa, Norwood--Spa fields, Bermondsey--Hampstead--Clerkenwell--Holywell Street, and at this "Duck and Dog" St. George's Fields. This was a famous suburban publichouse--much as the Welsh Harp is nowadays--where shooting matches at small birds was a favourite pastime.

"Advt.--DOG AND DUCK SPA AND BATH, St. Georges Fields.--J. Hedger
respectfully informs the Public, that the Gardens of the above
Spa are open for the reception of those who wish to drink the
Waters on the spot, at the usual terms of 3d. each person. The
general salubrity of this Spa is well known: and its happy
medicinal effects in Scorbutic, Scrophulous, and eruptive
Complaints: as well as in the Gravel, and several other
Disorders, have been long and incontestibly established. It will
be sent to any part of the town in bottles, corked and sealed at
the pump, on receiving orders as above. The Bath and Bowling
Green are also open to Subscribers."--(_Times, May 26, 1795._)

The _Mr. Brothers_ mentioned in the following paragraph had been a Lieutenant in the Navy--and held most extravagantly visionary religious views--he pretended to have revelations from the Deity, and set up as a Prophet. He was imprisoned in 1794 for fear he should create some political disturbance.

"Many persons were yesterday not a little terrified by _St.
Paul's_ clock striking 10 three times within an hour, expecting
every moment, that Mr. _Brothers's_ prophecy was about to be
fulfilled, which had appointed some dreadful calamity to befal
the City of London before the 4th day of June instant."--(_Times,
June 4, 1795._)

In the next paragraph, we must bear in mind the difference in the value of the Currency then and now.

"It is with infinite pleasure we hear, that the Bishops in their
respective dioceses, in conjunction with the opulent pluralists
and other beneficed Clergy, are advancing the stipends, and
making contributions, for their necessitous Curates, in these
times of scarcity. A liberality (or rather an act of justice)
which most probably originated with the Bishop of London, who
declared in his Charge to the Clergy of his dioceses, as long
since as the year 1790, that he would licence no Curate to a
single church under £50, nor to two under £70 per an."--(_Times,
Aug. 13, 1795._)

* * * * *

"That practical bulls are not confined to Ireland, take the
following specimen: A tradesman of this city, out of charity,
took a French boy into his family, who was sent out one evening
in a great hurry for butter. His haste threw him into the kennel,
butter and all. This was an unfortunate mishap: the dirt he could
scrape off, but that partial adhesion of water to grease could
not so easily be removed. At last he hit upon an experiment: The
maid was bawling out for the butter--'Well, well,' quoth
_Jaques_, 'you shall have it quickly. I had the misfortune to wet
it, and have just hung it up on a string, before the great
stove--it will be dry in a moment, for it dripped before I came
away.'"--(_Times, Aug. 21, 1795._)

* * * * *

"What would our forefathers have thought to see a board with this
inscription:--'_With the nicest taste, and by men most exquisite
for their professional abilities_' over a _Barber's
shop_?"--(_Times, Aug. 21, 1795._)

* * * * *

"EPIGRAM. In utramque paratus.

"How shall we Dr. Drawl obey,
His different counsel keep:
Whose _Text_ advises 'Watch and pray,'
Whose _Sermon_ bids you 'Sleep.'"

--(_Times, Aug. 27, 1795._)

* * * * *

"In an advertisement addressed to a young lady who has eloped,
she is _most earnestly_ requested to return to her most
_disconsolate parents_: but it is added, that if she does not
choose to come herself, she is most particularly desired to send
the key of the _tea chest_!"--(_Times, Sept. 4, 1795._)

* * * * *

"The grand match of Cricket, for one thousand guineas, between
Kent and All England, was some days since terminated at
Dandelion,[21] in favour of Kent."--(_Times, Sept. 15, 1795._)

[Footnote 21: Dent de Lion, Margate.]

* * * * *

"A Clergyman in Essex, who had long _farmed_ his _tythes_
alternately among his parishioners, began at last to suspect that
the rogues endeavoured to keep the income of his _small_ living
still _less_, and so determined, this year at least, to take his
_tythes in kind_. To '_Cheat the Parson_' is one of the oldest
jokes in the history of agriculture, and stands on the same
authority with the _wittier malevolence_ of _distressing_ him.
These gentlemen, determined not to be behindhand with their
predecessors: and, in the last harvest, sent to the Parson to
take away his _hay_ the moment it was cut down, alleging, that as
soon as it was cut into _swathes_, it was no longer grass, and
that he might _turn it, and cook it, himself_. Rather than 'go to
law' the Parson submitted, and took his next Sunday's text on
_brotherly kindness_, beginning thus--'Brotherly kindness may be
divided into _three_ parts--domestic affection--social love--and
charity: from all which proper inferences may be drawn for
instruction. Thus brethren, I give you a sermon in _swathes_--you
may turn it, and cook it, yourselves.' The plan succeeded; his
parishioners doubled the income, acknowledging it even then less
than it should be: and thus, what _justice_, and _law_, might
have kept from him for years, was given up to a _clerical
joke_."--(_Times, Sept. 19, 1795._)

* * * * *

"A curious circumstance occurred here (Brighton) yesterday. Sir
John Lade, for a trifling wager, undertook to carry Lord
Cholmondely, on _his back_, from opposite the Pavilion, twice
round the Steine. Several ladies attended to be spectators of
this extraordinary feat of the dwarf carrying a giant. When his
Lordship declared himself ready, Sir John desired him to _strip_.
'Strip!' exclaimed the other: 'why surely you promised to carry
me in my clothes!' 'By no means,' replied the Baronet. 'I engaged
to carry _you_, but not an inch of clothes. So therefore, my
Lord, make ready, and let us not _disappoint_ the ladies.' After
much laughable altercation, it was at length decided that Sir
John had won his wager, the Peer declining to exhibit _in puris
naturalibus_."--(_Times, Oct. 2, 1795._)

What would the writer of the following have thought if he could only have seen Girton and other cognate female Colleges?

"Nobody can doubt of the use and advantage of Boarding-Schools in
an immense capital like this. When a Tradesman's daughter is
taught to jump a dance, to play a tune, and spit French, she is
fit for any thing--but a wife."--(_Times, Oct. 17, 1795._)

* * * * *

"An amiable great lady, though very accomplished in the English
language, now and then makes some innocent mistakes. She lately
asked Lady Jersey if her child would not like _new_
milk?"--(_Times, Nov. 23, 1795._)

* * * * *

"A Gentleman lamenting the robbery committed at Mr. Erskine's
house last week, after enquiring the particulars, said, he 'hoped
none of the Family were alarmed?' 'No,' replied Mr. E., 'but I
wish _they had_.'"--(_Times, Dec. 23, 1795._)

* * * * *

"The name of _Merchant of London_ will be as common in London as
in France. A fellow who keeps a caricature shop in Oxford-Road,
has the impudence to write in large characters against his house,
_Caricature Merchant_.

"We think the Magistrates are deficient in their duty, when they
permit such a number of obscene prints to be exposed in their
windows. It is well known that some of them have likewise rooms
in their houses, where they expose those prints to debauch the
rising generation, and have agents at the public seminaries,
where they introduce them among the boys."--(_Times, Dec. 25,
1795._)

* * * * *

"The Confectioners begin to tremble from the fear that there will
not be frost enough to enable them to lay in a stock of ice
sufficient for the consumption of the ensuing summer. Ice is
become so much a necessary of life in this climate, that the
Island has not always produced a sufficient quantity for the
supply of the inhabitants, and many vessels sent to Norway have
returned freighted with this new luxury. How would Queen
Elizabeth's Maids of Honour have stared at iced oranges after a
hot dinner? They would probably have given them the same
emphatical appellation with a late English Admiral--_painted snow
balls_."--(_Times, Jan. 22, 1796._)

* * * * *

"The vast estate of the Duke of Portland, in Marybone, cost his
ancestors, about 100 years ago, but £9000; and the estate of Mr.
Berners, (all the streets about the Middlesex Hospital) now £6000
a year, were in the year 1730, at a rental of £330 a
year."--(_Times, Jan. 25, 1796._)

* * * * *

"The Balls at Southampton are exceedingly lively, and
well-attended. The young Ladies are particularly favourable to a
German Dance, called _the Volse_: for squeezing, hugging, &c., it
is excellent in its kind, and more than one Lady has actually
fainted in the middle of it."--(_Times, Feb. 19, 1796._)

* * * * *

"Thirteen thousand, five hundred vessels, freighted with
property, to the value of between 60, and 70, millions sterling,
sailed from, and arrived at, the port of London, in the course of
a year."--(_Times, Aug. 29, 1796._)

* * * * *

"Campus Nautica may be sailor-latin for a pleasant exhibition,
though not quite concordical. A sailor at Oxford some time ago,
wished to prove the whole University to be sailor-like, and he
managed it in this way. 'The Gownsmen are _Puppes_, the Tradesmen
are _Naves_, and the women are _nautoe_.' What though the puns
don't quite spell, they are not less true for all
that."--(_Times, Feb. 29, 1796._)

* * * * *

"Lately died, in Scotland, _James Anderson_, a well-known
itinerant tinker, at the astonishing age of 114, after carrying
his budget since his 14th year."--(_Times, March 12, 1796._)

* * * * *

"We learn from Chester, that the Grand Jury at Conway Assizes
found an Indictment against the Bishop of Bangor, his Agent,
Chaplain, and two other Divines, for a riot; and also another
Bill against the Bishop for an assault!!!"--(_Times, April 5,
1796._)

* * * * *

"There was a Bank Note came into the Bank the other day, the
interest of which, calculated from the time it had been in
circulation, amounted to more than £4300."--(_Times, April 26,
1796._)

* * * * *

"Mrs. Mills had fourteen rooms open at her famous Rout and
Supper, in Piccadilly, the other night. The bill for green-peas
was seventy-five pounds."--(_Times, May 18, 1796._)

* * * * *

"At one of Lady B----'s elegant Entertainments at Ham-Common,
amongst other amusements provided for her refined company, were a
pig with a soaped-tail and a smock-race. A Great Number of young
women were collected by curiosity, but none of them could be
prevailed upon to contend for the last prize. They declared
ingenuously, that they only came for curiosity, as they thought
her Ladyship and her Company were to run for it."--(_Times, June
29, 1796._)

* * * * *

"'I should like to be an _emigré_,' said Mr. V----n the other
day. 'Why so?' answered a gentleman present. 'Because,' he
replied, 'the emigrants are the only people in town who know how
to amuse themselves.'

"And surely nothing can exceed the refined elegance of the balls
given by some of the emigrated Ladies, where the widows of twenty
guillotined poor souls, trip the merry country-dance with all the
swiftness of a fairy. We must, however, observe that these
eminent dancers disdain the name of _emigrées_, and call
themselves _Americaines_, from the property they possess in the
West Indies, in order to avoid the reproach of thus squandering
the superfluities of their incomes, which would be better
employed in comforting so many unfortunate families, driven from
their own country."--(_Times, Aug. 1, 1796._)

* * * * *

"A DAY AT MARGATE.

"Rose at seven; went to Sayer's Bathing House, set my name down
on the slate: took a walk on the Pier. Came back and waited a
quarter of an hour, then bathed. Not a little delighted with the
idea of realising in some degree _la theorie des sentimens
agreables_ by dipping in the same ocean with the sea nymphs from
the City. Returned to my lodgings to dress for breakfast. Finding
nobody in the Coffee-room, went back to the Pier, arrived at the
happy moment, just as a hoy was vomiting out its sick: witnessed,
as Peter Paragraph says, the Queen of France abuse, like a drab
of Drury, one of the passengers. The case seemed a strong one,
and well made out on the part of the Lady, but produced, as far
as I saw, no conviction.

"Went to breakfast at Benson's, having first called at the
Post-Office, and found _not sorted_ on the door: eat my
shilling's worth, one buttered roll, one dry toasted, and one
cold ditto: heard who had won, or lost, at whist, and billiards,
the night before; read the newspapers, and wrote a letter. Went
over the way to Silver's library, who at my request gave me the
choice of three rides, observing, that I might take a little of
each by going round by Kingsgate, the North Foreland, and
Broadstairs to Ramsgate, then crossing over to the Camp, and
figuring in by Dandelion. 'What a charming General' (said I)
'spoilt in a Toyman. How you understand tactics, Mr. Silver!'
'Used to it all my life, Sir,' (said he with a pleasing
flippancy) 'plan rides for the company daily all over the
Island.' Set out with the _carte du pays_ in my pocket: visited
all the places in it, and finished with the cricket match, and
the place of the public breakfast. Heard a lady say she had won
two lotteries, and saw _Tom Lord_ run without winning a notch.
Went to the ordinary in the gardens at 6s. 6d. a head, for cold
chicken, and roast lamb, with a haunch of venison given by a
Noble Lord, who, very kindly, having helped himself to the first
slice, sent it on. The heat on the cricket ground was intense. I
was sorry I did not bring my white hat: but a remedy was at hand,
as I learnt afterwards, if I had been ingenious enough to have
tied a white handkerchief round the crown of my black one. Having
finished my second breakfast, I rode home to dine at Margate. The
green where the breakfast was, was much cooler than the burning
cricket field, having the advantage of being shaded by the trees
in the garden at its back; but I found I was out of luck, as
there was no dancing, and, indeed, at the public breakfast, it
sometimes happens, that the wagtails, and the yellow-hammers from
the Capital are so numerous, and frisky, that the humming birds,
the cockatoos, and the birds of Paradise of the higher order
won't always hop with them. Got back to Margate on my pony, for
which I was to pay 18d. a side, and thought as I rode along on
the sands, where I should dine. The boarding houses were all open
to me, on paying for a week, or one guinea. This was a great
temptation: but having been offered a party at the Bowling green,
on Prospect Place, I conceived this to be a better thing, on
account of the humours of the loaded pigeon, and the fun of the
canting machine, and the fireworks at night. I accordingly rode
to my lodgings to dress, and went immediately to dinner. After
dinner proceeded to the libraries, where the raffling lists were
filling fast: was induced to throw in my shillings at Silver's
and Were's: from thence passed on to Wood's, Surflen's, and
Garner's. At Surflen's heard music, and several favourite glees:
from thence to the playhouse, where I was invited to the
rehearsal of a new piece, which was to be full of good things, if
it had been suffered to be represented. It was now time to go to
supper: I accordingly returned to the Coffee House, and from
thence to the Billiard Room, where there was a violent cry of
swindler, black-legs, and pickpocket, at which Mrs. Benson
interfered, whilst her husband walked coolly up and down the
Piazza, not venturing to intrude. The obnoxious person being
turned out, and order restored, I retired at one o'clock in the
morning.

EPHEMERIS."

--(_Times, Oct. 2, 1795._)

Fancy seeing an advertisement like the following, in the _Times_ nowadays:--

Advt.

"A MARE'S to be SOLD,
About six years old,
That's warranted perfectly sound:
Her height's fourteen hands,
And an inch as she stands,
And will trot freely all the way round.
The Mare's to be seen
Any time that's between
The hours of twelve, and of three,
At the Inn called One Bell,
In the Strand they will tell,
Price twenty-five Guineas and three."

--(_Times, June 17, 1796._)

* * * * *

"RAMSGATE. (Extract of a letter.)

"Our early season has already begun, and those who are fond of
cheap lodgings, have made their appearance _hirundine primâ_. I
assure you, we have City Misses here at this moment, each of
whom, in the vain idea of rising 'A new born Goddess from the
Sea' sowces into salt water every morning. Our company is of the
_greater_ sort. We have Mrs. Deputy _Plumb_, with her naked
daughters, who have scarce more cloathing than a _fig_ leaf on
them, and imitate their great grand-dame Eve in much more even
than that. Then we have Mrs. _Pop_ from Whitechapel. She came
down in state in her own job-coach, which was loaded so full with
_unredeemed_ Articles for family wear, that her dear _pledges_ of
domestic Love, her daughters, who are the very _duplicate_ of
herself, in delicacy and beauty, were forced to come in the Hoy.
But she vows it is so shocking to her feelings, that they never
shall ride down _no more_ in that nasty sort of water conveyance,
though she should spend upon their luxury and elegance _ten_,
out of that _thirty per cent._, which she grinds from the
necessitous miseries of hard-earned industry. Then we have three
learned Ladies, who, after the great fatigues of novel-writing in
the winter, have retired hither to display themselves to the vast
pleasure, and edification, of some ancient enamoratus, who would
not yield to Old Q himself in pretensions to gallantry. In truth,
we begin to look gaily, early as it is: and I would that the
salt-water, for the benefit of the _Pops_, and the _Plumbs_, who
frequent our watering places, could as easily wash away the mud
of vulgarity, and affectation, from their hearts, as it does the
_rouge_ from their faces."--(_Times, July 8, 1796._)

* * * * *

"BRIGHTON.--The Prince and Princess of Wales's arrival has been
talked of much in London; but as yet we have no signs of it here.
The Duke and Duchess of Marlborough pass their time in a very
retired manner indeed. His Grace walked for some time yesterday
evening upon the _Steyne_; the company consisted chiefly of
opulent Jews, needy fortune hunters, broken-down Cyprians,
fishermen's daughters, and several fat city-dowdies, from the
environs of Norton Folgate. Her Grace commands the Play on Friday
evening, which will be her _first appearance_ in public here for
this season. The Officers of the Blues are the _great dashers_ of
the place: they associate with no one but their own Corps. The
most of them keep their blood-horses, their curricles, and their
girls. At one o'clock they appear on the parade, to hear the word
of command given to the Subaltern Guard: afterwards they toss off
their _goes_ of brandy, dine about five, and come about eight to
the Theatre, _Vivent L'Amour et Bacchus_."--(_Times, July 13,
1796._)

* * * * *

"Yesterday a curious cricket match was played at Montpelier
Gardens, between 11 of the Greenwich Pensioners, wanting an arm
each, against the same number of their fellow sufferers with each
a wooden leg. Not fewer than 5000 people were assembled on the
occasion, who were highly entertained with the exertions of the
old veterans of the ocean, who never acted against their most
inveterate enemy with more energy, each party striving to quit
the field victorious. The evening coming on, the contest could
not be decided, but it was so much in favour of the Timber toes,
as never to be recovered by the dint of Arms."--(_Times, Aug. 10,
1796._)

* * * * *

"On Wednesday morning the 11 men with one arm, and 11 men with
but one leg, were brought by three Greenwich stages engaged for
that purpose, to the new Cricket Ground, the back of the
Montpelier Tea Gardens, Walworth, when the match was played out,
and the men, with one leg, beat the one arms, by 103 runnings.
After the match was finished, the eleven one-legged men ran a
race of 100 yards distance, for 20 Guineas, and the first three
had prizes."--(_Times, Aug. 12, 1796._)

* * * * *

"A new embankment of the River, on the Middlesex shore, from
Westminster to Chelsea, is just commencing, to prevent the
encroachments which are making almost daily."--(_Times, Aug. 20,
1776._)

* * * * *

"On Tuesday morning, a young whale came up the River as far as
Rotherhithe, and was killed near Execution Dock after having
overset two boats. It measured 19 feet in length."--(_Times, Aug.
25, 1796._)

* * * * *

"This day, the Publicans in the Metropolis, and its vicinity,
have, conformable to an agreement amongst themselves, withdrawn
from the Public the accommodation of finding them Pewter Pots,
agreeable to a long established custom, which will, of course,
occasion great inconvenience to workmen of every description, who
are employed in raising buildings, repairing houses, &c.; as well
as lodgers, and, even, to many respectable families. The profits
upon Porter, for a length of time, have been very considerable,
which proves itself beyond a doubt, by their acknowledging, in a
Bill left at the houses of their customers, that they,
collectively, sustain a loss, annually, of; £100,000 per annum,
in Pots, which, by no means, could have been afforded, were not
their returns somewhat enormous. Under that idea, it is presumed,
having availed themselves of an opportunity, no longer to be
liable to losses of that kind, in future, they will, as a
recompence to the Public, make a reduction in price of the
necessary article of Porter."--(_Times, Sept. 2, 1796._)

* * * * *

"The late determination of several of the Publicans, to alter the
established mode of serving their outdoor customers, with quart,
and pint pots, seems to have been copied from an old resolution
of a certain Borough, which ran thus: 'Resolved, that the best
means of preserving our lamps from being broken, is to take them
down by night, and put them up in the day.' Such of the Publicans
as have come into this new regulation, seem to estimate the loss
of a few pots, beyond that of the most respectable of their
customers. It is, however, very probable, that the Small-Beer
Brewers will profit by this circumstance, as table-beer may be
ordered in by those who cannot be served any longer in the usual
manner."--(_Times, Sept. 21, 1796._)

"The university of Oxford has lately printed, at its own expence,
to be distributed gratis among the French Clergy who have taken
refuge in Great Britain (_ad Usum Cleri Gallicani in Anglia
exulantis_, as the title states) 2000 copies of the _Vulgate_ of
the New Testament, which is the Latin version used by the Roman
Church in all Public Prayers.

"The Marquis of Buckingham, distinguished for his munificence
towards the Clergy, has likewise caused to be printed at his
expence, 2000 copies at the same press, and for the same use. The
University of Oxford has sent its copies to the venerable Bishop
of St. Pol de Leon, for distribution, accompanied by a letter,
analogous to the generous sentiments which dictate this
honourable mark of esteem for the French Clergy, who are fully
sensible of the value of the gift."--(_Times, Oct. 25, 1796._)

* * * * *

"Christmas Eve, 1796, will be recorded hereafter, as the Frost
was more rapid, and more rigorous, it is supposed, than in
1739-40, or any degree of cold ever experienced in England: the
quicksilver in a thermometer in Somerset-place sunk from 28 to 4
degrees above 0 in 12 hours, 3 degrees below the depression of
the Mercury in 1794 and 28 degrees below the freezing point,
while it must necessarily have been still lower in the
country."--(_Times, Dec. 28, 1796._)

Bartholomew fair was first held A.D. 1133, and it was then the principal mart for the vendors, and buyers, of cloth: in fact the name of a street, contiguous to Smithfield, where the fair was held, and which has come down to us,--"Cloth fair," proves it, were there any need. Of late years it got a nuisance, and public opinion demanded its dissolution. The shows were discontinued in 1850, and the fair was proclaimed, for the last time, in 1855. We see by the following paragraph, from the _Times_, what was thought of it by decent-minded people, as far back as 1796.

"BARTHOLOMEW FAIR.

"The various troops of itinerant Comedians, Showmen, Ropedancers,
Jugglers, Conjurors, Fortune Tellers, Giants, Dwarfs, wild
Beasts, learned Beasts, and every _lusus naturæ_ that can be
collected throughout the Kingdom, with all the appendages of
immorality, and vice, were on Saturday put in legal possession of
Smithfield, as the theatre of their achievements. When we add to
these, the numerous tribe of pickpockets, ring-droppers, and
sharpers of every description, we cannot but sincerely regret,
that a scene, productive of so much idleness, and debauchery,
should be sanctioned by the _letter_ of the law, while the
_spirit_ of it shudders at the toleration of such excesses.

"The purposes for which this fair was held by its original tenure
were of a nature directly opposite to those to which it is now
prostituted. They went to the encouragement of industry by the
previous manufacture, and subsequent sale, of necessary articles;
but they are now made subservient to corrupt the public mind by
the most abandoned, and dissolute, manners. The motley multitude
that infests the fair, are the more audacious in their conduct,
from knowing that they are warranted in their proceedings, at
least by the _appearance_ of law, which sanctions this annual
ribaldry.

"We seriously lament, that this 'congratulation[22] of living
vapours' so foul and pestilential to society, should be suffered
to exist in the metropolis, and that the Chief Magistrate of the
City of London should be annually compelled to degrade his
dignity as the principal guardian of the public peace and morals,
by going in state, to license a scene, which constantly
terminates in the most fatal abuses."--(_Times, Sep. 5, 1796._)

[Footnote 22: _Sic_ in original.]

* * * * *

"At the general Meeting of the Magistrates for the division of
Kensington, on Saturday last, complaints were made not only by
the Bishop of London, as Lord of the Manor, but by other
respectable inhabitants thereof, of a nuisance that has prevailed
from time to time on Wormholt Scrubs by bull-baiting, to the
great annoyance of the neighbourhood, and the disturbance of the
public peace, when the Magistrates came to the laudable
resolution of issuing warrants to the High, and Petty, Constables
of the Division, requiring them to exert their utmost endeavours
to prevent the same in future. And, having understood that many
Publicans within their division had conveyed beer, and other
liquors, from their respective houses to Wormholt Scrubs, where
they had retailed it during such bull-baiting, they determined
not to renew their licences."--(_Times, Sept. 8, 1796._)

* * * * *

"A few days ago some villains broke into the Lea Church,
Gloucestershire, and stole a quantity of money, the property of a
company of singers belonging to the said church. A reward of £20
was immediately offered for discovering the offenders,
accompanied by a threat that application would be immediately
made to a conjuror, who lived not far off, to tell who the
robbers were. The sacrilegious rascals, being convinced that the
Devil would betray them, by informing the cunning man who they
were, went in the night to the church, and pushed all the money
they had taken through a slit in the door, where it was found the
next morning."--(_Times, Oct. 4, 1796._)

* * * * *

"An ingenious artist has invented a new Coffin, for which he has
taken out a Patent. In his advertisements he says, he thinks no
family would like to be without one, and that all who have made
trial of them, prefer them to anything in that way, and recommend
them to their friends."--(_Times, Nov. 2, 1796._)

* * * * *

"We hope the Corporation of Bath will avoid a similar mistake as
happened when the Duke of York was there last year, when the gold
box was presented to the Duke, but somehow or other, it was
forgotten to put the _freedom into it_."--(_Times, Nov. 28,
1796._)

The gushing, and eloquent, George Robins could hardly exceed the following:--

Advt. "RUS in URBE PULCHERRIMAM. To be LET furnished, the FIRST,
SECOND and third Floors with a Kitchen, altogether the most
convenient and beautiful little Dwelling in Europe. Satisfactory
references will be required. Enquire at Messrs &c."--(_Times,
Oct. 14, 1796._)

* * * * *

"Lady E. being lately complimented upon her excellent complexion,
assured her friend it was owing to her custom of dipping into
cold water every morning. 'But I see,' said she, 'you don't
believe me.' 'Pardon me,' said the Gentleman, 'if your Ladyship
said you bathed in the Red Sea, I should have believed
you.'"--(_Times, Nov. 24, 1796._)

* * * * *

"Last Sunday, agreeable to his sentence in the Ecclesiastical
Court, a Butcher of Newport Market, did penance in St. Ann's
Church, for scandalizing a neighbour's character."--(_Times, Dec.
2, 1796._)

* * * * *

"There is a Club in St. James St. called the _Transalpine_. To be
a Member, it is indispensable that you have crossed _Mont Cenis_.
One of the advantages of modern travelling is, to be entitled
upon your return to waste your time at home, with those who have
wasted their's abroad. This is the reward of what is called
seeing the world: namely, seeing those who have seen it
too."--(_Times, Jan. 25, 1797._)

* * * * *

"A noble Viscount has instituted a Club, called the
_Ubiquarians_--the Club is ambulatory, and held, in turn, at as
many chop-houses as there are parishes in the capital. The dinner
is at half-a-crown, but it costs as much more to those who are
not good walkers to get at it."--(_Times, Jan. 25, 1797._)

* * * * *

"It is a very curious fact, that the Turkish custom of taking
opium is beginning to prevail in what are called the first
circles of London. This dissipation is spreading wide amongst
female fashion."--(_Times, Feb. 10, 1797._)

* * * * *

"The Gentlemen of the _Rainbow_ (footmen), whose only wear is
_motley_, have within these few days, shewn evident symptoms of
uniting. They declare their wages are very inferior in value to
their services, and threaten their masters with a revolution in
their conduct. When pampered valets claim an increase of salary,
on the ground of meritorious service, a general discharge would
certainly be the most effectual way of quieting their
complaints."--(_Times, June 6, 1797._)

* * * * *

"We are pleased to be able to commend one change of fashion, at
least, that which has deprived the servants of Officers of the
cockade in their hats: and we hope to see it spread, till it
becomes as singular, as it is absurd, to dress up a _Domestic_ in
the characteristics of the field!"--(_Times, June 10, 1797._)

"On Sunday, for the first time, the Civil Power interested itself
in breaking up what was called Cooper's Fair in the Spa Fields,
in consequence of the weekly holdings forth of a variety of
Enthusiasts: such as Mystics, Methodists, Quaking Jews, &c. One
of the latter description being eager for persecution, insisted
upon going into confinement, and was conveyed to Clerkenwell
Bridewell."--(_Times, July 20, 1797._)

* * * * *

"On the 25th of February, died in the Barony of Ivereagh, in the
County of Kerry, Ireland, in the 112th year of his age Daniel
Bull Macarthy Esq. He had been married to five wives: he married
the fifth, who survives him, when he was 84 and she 14, by whom
he had twenty children, she bearing a child every year. He was
very healthy: no cold could affect him: and he could not bear the
warmth of a shirt in the night time, but put it under his pillow,
for the last seventy years. In company he drank plentifully of
rum, and brandy, which he called _naked truth_; and when, out of
complaisance to other gentlemen, he took claret, or port, he
always drank an equal glass of rum, or brandy, to qualify those
liquors: this he called a _wedge_. He used to walk eight, or ten,
miles in a winter's morning with greyhounds, and finders, and
seldom failed to bring home a brace of hares."--(_Times, Aug. 5,
1797._)

* * * * *

"On Sunday morning, about five o'clock, ten Police officers came
to Norwood in three hackney-coaches, threw down all the gypsey
tents, and exposed about 30 men, women, and children, in the
primitive state of man. They carried them to prison, to be dealt
with according to the Vagrant Act.

"It appears that they have made good harvest, this summer, of
female credulity, and have often gained a guinea on a Sunday. Not
only young girls, panting for matrimony, have been their dupes,
but the well experienced dames, curious to trace the steps of
their dear _spouses_, have paid liberally for discovery, as the
following story will prove: On Thursday, as two Gentlemen, who
dined at Norwood, were looking out of a window, they observed a
respectable, well-dressed woman in deep consultation, for a sum
paid to the old gypsey. They observed the good woman greatly
agitated, and heard her ask 'If she was sure it was true'? On
being answered 'As sure as God was in heaven' she gave the gypsey
a further sum, and made further enquiry, and at last gave her a
good pocket-handkerchief, and departed seemingly full of
vengeance. The gentlemen, curious to learn the nature of the good
woman's consultation, sent for the old gypsey, who candidly told
them, that she enquired of her if her husband was continent, and
that she answered he was not, and thereby obtained three presents
instead of one."--(_Times, Aug. 22, 1797._)

Partridge shooting began on 14th September then, instead of the 1st as now.

"FOURTEENTH OF SEPTEMBER.

"Bemired up to the knees, wetted from head to foot by the
incessant rain, fatigued and disappointed, the Cocknies yesterday
returned from their annual field-sport, with very little game
indeed. A detachment from Cheapside, which had filed off early in
the morning, toward Hampstead, with the locks of their
fowling-pieces wrapped up in their handkerchiefs, were so galled
by the rain, that they got no further than _Old Mother Red
Cap's_, where they diverted themselves all day with firing from a
window at some Dutch-pins in the skittle ground. One of these
pins was mortally wounded in the belly by Ensign _Tight
Breeches_, a man milliner's foreman, who drove a ball into it, at
the amazing distance of two yards, without letting the gun fall
out of his hand.

"Six journeymen weavers, from Spital-fields, who went in a chaise
cart, to Ealing, with two guns, were rather more fortunate, in
respect to Game. They killed a lame hen at Acton, shot one goose
on the Common, wounded a large sow, and filled their pockets and
Game-bags with turnips, and cabbages. They imagined they sprung a
pheasant near Gunnersbury House,--but it proved to be an old
turkey-cock. At Eleven, they returned, very wet, and very drunk,
having lost one of their guns, and broke the stock of the other,
by flinging it at a tame rabbit, in a farmer's yard.

"Four _gentlemen_ from Leadenhall-Market, who went on the
long-coach to Woolwich, as there are partridges in that part of
Kent, killed two crows in Hanging-Wood Lane, blinded a jackass
near the Warren, and wounded a sparrow, several feathers being
perceived to drop from its wings. They had tolerable good sport
with a bat, their terriers being of an excellent breed, and
having worried a flock of ducks in a ditch, and killed one, they
returned from _Partridge shooting_ about nine at night, very much
fatigued indeed.

"Five gentlemen who went sporting from Kent Bar to Lewisham,
notwithstanding the wetness of the day, had tolerable good luck.

"They belonged to the Trained Bands, and depended more upon their
bayonets, than their guns. At the Half-Way-House they killed a
fine buck-cat, as he was watching a chaffinch. From the
Half-Way-House to New-Cross Turnpike, every sparrow was
affrighted by the noise of their guns: but the rain by this time
having completely wetted the locks, and damped the powder, they
were obliged to charge with bayonets, and every tree bore marks
of their prowess, to the Lion and Lamb at Lewisham, where they
dined, got drunk, killed two hogs, and a Chinese sow, and, in the
evening, were carried home by the Lewisham stage.

"St. George's Fields, once the mart of London sportsmen, being
now almost covered with houses, very few prentice-boy gunners
were seen there. The birds which now inhabit that quarter, are
many of them jail-birds, and if the new Magistrates were to sport
their authority a little more than they do, they might bring down
some of the most dangerous game with which a neighbourhood was
ever infested.