Chapter II: Ammunition

Too much care cannot be exercised in the selection of this article. You must take care that it is adapted to the game. If the bird be an unbleached _blonde_, try first-class prayer-meetings, mild decoctions of Sunday-school exhibitions, parlor concerts, and readings. If it wear spectacles, some light, airy, and poetical reading matter, like BUTLER'S _Analogy_, or the _Tribune_, is useful. If the bird be a _brunette_, try theatres, balls, operas, etc.; suppers at DEL.'S have been known to do execution among this class. Never try lectures to young women with this kind of bird. The bleached _blondes_ are difficult to handle. If you suspect the bleaching, try a judicious mixture of both kinds of ammunition.

Some kinds of ammunition are adapted to all classes. Rings, especially diamonds, fans, bouquets, and jewels can be used in quantities only limited by the amount of your bank account, or of your employer's petty cash. I have seen a bracelet do the business at once, though, to be sure, it was a very gorgeous one. Serenades may be used to advantage, but care must be taken in selecting the songs and the windows. To a _blonde_ you may very well sing, "Thy eyes so blue, of violet hue;" to a _brunette_, "Black-eyed Mary" or Susan; to a bleached _blonde_, "I am dying, Egypt, dying." Never sing vulgar songs, which are used by hungry lovers of cooks, such as, "Wilt thou meat me to-night by the old garden gate," or, "Meat me by moonlight alone."