Chapter IV: Bagging the Game

This should always be done in the very best style. First-class churches, and two or three parsons, can generally bag you and the bird properly. Notice of the bagging should always be given to your friends, and the bag should be large enough to hold not only the bird, but also any first-class houses, greenbacks, or silver-ware which may be furnished by the friends of the bird. They say that BROWN, of Grace Church, understands all the details of this kind of bagging. The game should be elegantly dressed for the occasion, at the expense of the parent birds, of course. You must take care that the bag is so tied that the bird cannot escape, though they do say that, if you go to the neighborhood of Chicago, the bird will escape, even if the bag is fastened in the most careful manner. I advise you, therefore, not to emigrate in that direction.

By the aid of the foregoing lessons any man should be enabled to catch a bird which, in the course of a month, he will wish he had left alone.

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Military Interference.

The Republicans insist that General GRANT did not intend to interfere with the last New York election. They had better "tell that to the Marines."

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"The Absorption of Germany."

To realize the meaning of the above phrase, which one hears so often now, one need only explore the Bowery of an evening. He will observe that the absorption of Germany is immense.

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Sporting Intelligence.

The great Shakespearian artist, Mr. JAMES MACE, plays two pieces in one evening; he plays "As You Like It," and also _plays_ Cast.

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Not to be Wondered at.

OLIVER DYER, the prototype of "the wickedest man in New York," is getting anxious about "How to get to Heaven."

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Remarkable Feat.

The authorities of Lyons have succeeded in doing with GEORGE FRANCIS TRAIN that which people in this country have tried in vain. They have shut him up.

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A Sure Sign of the Holidays.

When the voice of the turkey is heard in the land.

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The Grant Tartan.

A thousand-dollar check.

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THE WINTER FASHIONS.

Owing to the war in France, which has deprived this country of the usual Paris fashions, it has been feared that no clothes would be worn by the fashionable world this winter; but, fortunately, Mr. PUNCHINELLO is enabled to announce that such will not be the case. Garments of various kinds will be in vogue, and the following descriptions of some of them may prove useful and interesting to the _beau monde:_--

Gentlemen will wear business coats with sleeves. The will open and button in front. Coats buttoning behind now meet with no favor from the strictly fashionable classes. Coats for evening and dress occasions, however, will open behind as well as in front, but the will not open all the way up the back, unless in case of accident.

Pantaloons will be worn on the legs, as last season, and they will reach below the knee.

Vests will be worn under the coat this winter, and will have pockets. One of these is to be appropriated to the watch, and the practice of carrying it in the coat-tail pocket will be entirely abandoned, as it is now considered neither convenient nor stylish.

Collars will be worn around the neck, as last season, and cravats will tie in front. The "Greeley" style is, however, an exception to this rule. It is considered the correct thing, among gentlemen of position in the fashionable world, to wear a cotton or linen shirt under their ordinary suits. Only a small portion of this garment must be exposed,--a part of the bosom, for instance. Handkerchiefs should be hemmed. Stockings are to be worn, this year, under the boots, and although a different arrangement may be allowed to old gentlemen, in icy and sleety weather, it is not considered proper to wear woollen or other stockings over the boots at evening parties or other social reunions. Black is the favorite color for boots, and the most _recherché_ and convenient style is that in which small loops are placed at the top of the boot-leg, one on each side, so that they may be drawn on after having been taken off; thus avoiding the necessity of wearing them at all times. Any one who dislikes sleeping in boots will appreciate this arrangement. Gloves will be made with separate compartments for the fingers, and few persons now wear the old-fashioned mitten at the opera. The best fastenings for gentlemen's clothing will be found to be buttons. No gentleman, having tried these, will be any longer content with hooks and eyes.

In regard to the fashion for ladies, Mr. PUNCHINELLO cannot now enter into details, but he will give a slight description of a few novelties. Frocks, or, as they are now called, dresses, will be worn this winter. Those with skirts are considered much the most stylish. Corsets still maintain a firm hold upon the female portion of the community, and hoop-skirts will not be worn outside of the clothing this winter, but will be tastefully concealed.

Ultra fashionable ladies will wear shoes and stockings this season, not only in the street, but in the house, and Mr. PUNCHINELLO is glad to see the favor accorded to so sensible a fashion. Children will dress very much as the means of their parents allow, but as a rule, their clothes will be cut smaller that those of the adult members of the family.

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Britannia Rules the Waves.

FROM the fate of the _Captain_ and the recent report concerning the _Monarch,_ Mr. PUNCHINELLO would suggest to his friend Miss BRITANNIA, that if she desires to retain her naval supremacy, the best thing she can do is to provide all her rivals with iron-clads of this first-class kind, gratis, so as to induce them to accept them.

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_Gruff Customer._ "OF COURSE I SAID A PLAIN STEW, YOU AGGRAVATING BABOON--SO PLAIN THAT I CAN SEE IT!"]

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WAR DESPATCHES MADE EASY

BERLIN, December 12.--A despatch from King WILLIAM to Queen AUGUSTA has reached this city by telegraph.

[The King WILLIAM above mentioned is a native of Prussia, in which country he is frequently spoken of as König WILHELM. Queen AUGUSTA is his wife. They have been married several years. Some children, one of whom is popularly known as OUR FRITZ, are the fruit of their union. The King has been absent from home a few months, and his wife must have been much pleased to get a despatch from him.]

TOURS, December 12.--Prussian troops, fully armed and equipped, have lately been observed by some of the French outposts.

[Prussian troops have been in France since the early part of August. They entered by force, and have refused to leave, though several times requested to do so. Their presence is not desired by the inhabitants, who are chiefly hostile to them: several attempts to eject them have failed. They wear clothing, and some have whiskers, and they carry a weapon called Zündnadelgewehr. The time of their return to their own country has not yet been definitely agreed upon.]

LONDON, December 13.--Balloon despatches from Paris have been received at Tours. They contain information in regard to affairs within the beleaguered city.

[Paris is a city of several hundred thousand inhabitants. It is located on the Seine, which is the name of a river that divides it. It is also divided by some other things, principally political feeling. Paris is well known by travellers. It has been in its present location more than a thousand years, and will probably remain some time longer. Although it has frequently been moved by great events, it is as stationary as any other city in the world. It is at present surrounded by a Prussian army.]

BRUSSELS, December 13.--Some carrier-pigeons have arrived here from the French capital, bearing important despatches.

[The carrier-pigeon is a bird. It should not be confounded with the elephant or hippopotamus, and only the most ignorant persons would suppose any connection between them. It flies through the air, as birds generally do, and though not lazy it lays. The eggs of this bird are valuable. When properly hatched they produce young pigeons, which often grow up and go into the express business like their parents. The carrier-pigeon is not a modern invention, but was made simultaneously with other ornithological curiosities.]

TOURS, December 14.--GEORGE FRANCIS TRAIN has been arrested by the Government and committed to prison as a nuisance.

[GEORGE FRANCIS TRAIN is a native of Boston, U.S. He is one of the most celebrated men living. He celebrates himself everywhere he goes, and he goes to a great many places. He has an inspired confidence that in the course of a few years all the people of his native country will become idiots, and that they will then make him their ruler. The _civis Americanus sum_ of his existence is talk about GEORGE FRANCIS TRAIN. The American Government does not at present propose to declare war against France for arresting him, but perhaps he will do so himself.]

VIENNA, December 14.--Diplomatic circles are more confident, and it is believed the Black Sea question will be settled.

[The Black Sea is in Europe. It is bounded all round and contains an immense quantity of water, which, being black, is useful for writing. The trouble about the Black Sea is owing altogether to its location, and could be removed forever by filling up the place and laying it out in building-lots. If it were in New Jersey this would be done, but the effete despotisms and bloated aristocracies of the Old World haven't enough enterprise to try it.]

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_Master Tom_. "O, GRAN'MA, GRAN'MA! THE PONY HAS GOT A FIT!--RUN TO THE WINDOW AND LOOK!"

AND THE OLD LADY RUSHED TO THE WINDOW, BUT THE ONLY "FIT" THE PONY HAD WAS THE NEW SIDE-SADDLE SENT AT CHRISTMAS BY UNCLE TOM, WHO, NOT KNOWING MUCH ABOUT PONIES, FANCIED THAT THIS ONE MUST HAVE GROWN TO A HORSE SINCE HE PRESENTED IT LAST YEAR.]

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POEMS OF THE CRADLE.