Chapter VII: Part 7

_Avar._ Then Mercy is a good one; I like her well.

_Adul._ Yet oft turneth she her face away, and will not mell.

_Avar._ Well--fall back, fall edge--I am once at a point,
If Respublica come, t' adventure a joint.

_Adul._ She is fresh and gay and flourisheth; who but she?

_Avar._ Who brought it to such pass, will I tell her, but we?
Or else, making these new ladies of her weary,
We should triumph and reign.

_Adul._ Oh, never so merry!

_Avar._ Well, go to our company, I will remain here;
I may perhaps see Dame Respublica appear:
I will in hand with her, and make a good face.

_Adul._ And what shall I do?

_Avar._ Give warning, in the mean space,
That Insolence shrink not, but play the stout man.

_Adul._ That I know, he will do; for once I know he can.

_Avar._ And that you, all three, be pressed to come hither;
When need shall require, we lay our heads together.
Why, art thou here yet?

_Adul._ I am gone with all my might.

[_Exeat._

_Avar._ And, lo! where Respublica appeareth in sight.

[_Intrat_ RESP[UBLICA].

She is now at [hand,] her nymphs bearing up her train;
I will stand aside, and listen a word or twain.

ACTUS QUINTI, SCENA SEXTA.

RESPUBLICA. AVARICE.

_Resp._ O Lord! Thy mercies shall I sing evermore
Which dost so tenderly Thy handmaid restore.
But what creature would suspicion have had
That my late administers had been men so bad?
Or, who would have thought them counterfeits to have been
That had heard their words, and their countenance seen?
And chiefly Avarice, which did the matter break?

_Avar._ That word toucheth me: now is time for me to speak.

_Resp._ I thought him Policy, as just and true as steel.

_Avar._ I am glad that by me ye do such goodness feel.

_Resp._ And that my wealth did grow, as it hath grown of late.

_Avar._ I ever told ye you should grow to this estate.

_Resp._ Thou tell me?

_Avar._ Yea! I told you so in very deed;
And highly I rejoice it doth so well succeed.
And _salva festa dies_ upon you, Madame!
I am glad ye have got a new robe, so I am:
What saint in the calendar do we serve to-day,
That ye be so gorgeously decked, and so gay?

_Resp._ In rejoicing that I shall be clean rid of thee.

_Avar._ Nay, by this cross! ye shall never be rid for me.

_Resp._ And of thy compeers.

_Avar._ Well, let them do as they lust!
I will ride upon Jill, mine own mare; that is just.
Other ways I shall do you service of the best.

_Resp._ Thou wicked wretch! darest thou with me to jest?

_Avar._ What? I now see, _honores mutant mores_,
But, as seemeth here, _raro in meliores_.

_Resp._ Thee, and all thy service I do from me exile.

_Avar._ Is that the high reward ye promised me erewhile?
Is not this a wise woman, and minded to thrive,
That would me, Policy, out of the country drive?

_Resp._ Thee and thy complices from me I shall outcast.

_Avar._ Then, I pray you, pay us for our pains that are past.

_Resp._ Ye shall be paid.

_Avar._ Once I have done the best I can;
Authority also, he hath played the man;
Reformation hath done his part, I can tell.
If ye mistrust Honesty, faith! ye do not well.
And as for Avarice, he is conveyed quite:
I bade him get him hence, or I would him indite.
I, Policy, have made him to pluck in his horns:
I sware I would else lay him on prickles and thorns,
Where he should take no rest, neither day nor night;
So he had as lief be hanged as come in sight.

_Resp._ I may say with Job, how vainly do ye cheer me,
When all the words ye give, from truth doth disagree;
And with the wise man, I may most justly say this:
_Just[ici]a tamen non luxit in nobis._
Or else, with the prophet, in most sorrowful mood,
The fruit of our justice is turned into wormwood.
Well, the best of you is a detestable vice;
And thou, for thy part, art most stinking Avarice.

_Avar._ Jesu! when were you wont so foul-mouthed to be,
To give such nicknames? Ah, in faith! dame Verity
Hath had you in schooling of late; well, in God's name!
I am sorry for you, e'en sorry, that [I am].
I wis I have wrought to set you in good state,
And watched for that purpose, both early and late.
And I wis, if you would abide my framing,
And not thus to have fall to checking and blaming,
I would, ere long, of you made such carpenter work
That ye should have said, Policy had been a clerk;
Nay! you should have seen, how I would have you compact.

_Resp._ Yea, no doubt! ye would have done some great and fine act.

_Avar._ I would have brought half Kent into Northumberland;
And Somersetshire should have raught to Cumberland.
Then would I have stretched the county of Warwick
Upon tenter hooks, and made it reach to Berwick.
A piece of the bishopric should have come southward--
Tut, tut! I tell you, I had wondrous feats toward.

_Resp._ God hath placed me already in the best wise.

_Avar._ Yea! but yet not half so well as I could devise--
But no force; well then, I see ye will none of me?

_Resp._ No!

_Avar._ Then ye can be content I depart from ye?

_Resp._ Yea!

_Avar._ Well! yet and ye pray me, I will tarry still.

_Resp._ No!

_Avar._ Well, speak me fair, and woo me yet, and I will.

_Resp._ No; hence, avaunt!

_Avar._ Have I had of you such a clog,
And now [you] bid me avaunt and make me a dog?

_Resp._ Hence, at once!

_Avar._ Nay, tut! and ye will ha' us, ha' us.

_Resp._ Out of my presence!

_Avar._ Well then, ye will not ha' us?

_Resp._ No, avoid, I charge thee!

_Avar._ Then needs depart I must.
Adieu! in faith, I would have served ye of trust!
But, since Respublica hath put me to exile,
Where may I go keep myself secret for a while?
Is there never a good chaplain in all this town,
That will, for a while, hide me under his gown?
Never a good farmer? never a good merchantman?
Well, I will go pick out some corner, if I can.
But, first will I monish my fellows of this gear;
And we stay this plunge, I care not for the next year. [_Exeat._

_Resp._ Now will I to Justice and th' other ladies three,
And pray that these vices may all suppressed be.

[_Intrat_ PEOPLE.

But lo! here cometh People; I will now turn again,
And first know of his good state by a word or twain.

ACTUS QUINTI, SCENA SEPTIMA.

RESPUBLICA. PEOPLE.

_Resp._ What standeth he prying? dareth he not enter?

_People._ Chould vain zee my lady: but I sdare not venter.

_Resp._ Shrink not back from me, but draw to me, my dear friend!

_People._ Chill virst know an ye be alone, zo God me mend!

_Resp._ Come! here be none but thy friends, me believe.

_People._ Well then, chill be zo bold to peak in, by your leave.

_Resp._ How happeneth that thou hast so long been me fro?

_People._ Marry! chill tell you: as soon as ye were ago,
Hither came a zort of courtnals, hard men and zore:
They shaked me up, chwas ne'er zo rattled avore.
They vell all upon me, catch a word that might catch;
Well was him that at me, People, might get a snatch.
Chould have been at home rather than a new groat;
Ich may zedge to you, Is feared pulling out my throat.
They bade me pike me home, and come at you no more.
An ich did, they zware, Is should be corrompt therefore.
Zo this prowt whorecop--what call ye him?

_Resp._ Insolence!

_People._ Yea! even this same, he vair popt me to silence.

_Resp._ And how is it with you now? better than it was?

_People._ All beginneth now to come gaily well to pass.
We hear of your good vortune that goeth about;
How ye beeth permounted, which maketh all us prout;
And ich am able since to buy a new coat;
And, Is thank God, chave in my purse a zilver groat.
I wis ich could not zo zai these zix years afore;
Whoever caused it, ill thank have they therefore.

_Resp._ They will be here soon; bide you them here for a train.

_People._ Mass! but I ninnat; would ye have om squat out on's brain?

_Resp._ They shall not do thee harm the value of a point.

_People._ Then, an you zai the word ichill jeopard a joint.

_Resp._ If they but offer thee wrong, they shall smart therefore.

_People._ Nay! will ye be zo good to tie om up avore?
And what shalche zai to om?

_Resp._ Nothing; but be abate,
Till take them all here suddenly I may await.

[_Exeat._

_People._ Well, it shall be do, chould laugh and both my hands clap,
To zee Ricepuddingcakes envies take in a trap.
And azee, pray! if zome of om come not yonder;
Chould my lady had bide ne'er zo little longer.

ACTUS QUINTI, SCENA OCTAVA.

INSOLENCE. ADULATION. OPPRESSION. PEOPLE. AVARICE.

_Insol._ Where is Avarice? Ho! He doth not now appear.

_Adul._ He bid me monish you that we might all meet here.

_Oppr._ But see where People standeth!

_Adul._ What doth he here now?

_Oppr._ About little goodness, I dare my word avow!

_Insol._ Let us speak unto him. People! wherefore and why,
Like a loitering losell, standest thou here idly?

_Oppr._ Thou comest to Respublica to make some mone?

_Adul._ Or else some complaint.

_People._ You all see cham here alone.

_Insol._ Ye must have silver money, must ye, gentleman?
You cannot be content with such coin as we can?

_Oppr._ Ye must burn wood and coal, must ye, all of pleasance?
Burn turves, or some of thy bedstraw, with a vengeance!

_Adul._ Ye must eat fresh meat bought from the shambles, must ye?
Eat garlic and onions, and roots or grass, and lust ye!

_Insol._ In faith! I will whip you for this, peasant lout!

_Adul._ And twig you!

_Insol._ Ere another year come about.

_Adul._ But, see! where Avarice cometh, running very fast.

[_Intrat_ AVARICE.

_Avar._ I have trod and scud till my wind is almost past,
Yet my mates are not where.

_Insol. and Adul._ We be here come of late.

_Avar._ Be there not, trow we, honester men in Newgate?

_Insol._ No words of reproach, brother mine! I rede you.

_Avar._ None but godigod eve, and godigod speed you.
Fare ye well again, an ye be falling out now.

_Insol., Adul._ We mind it not.

_Avar._ 'Twere more need to look about you.

_Insol._ How goeth all? tell us!

_Avar._ My lady is waxed froward;
Our names be all known, so there is array toward.

_Insol., Oppr._ God speed us well!

_Avar._ Once I am thrust out of service.

_Adul._ Alas! what may I do?

_Insol._, _Oppr._ Tell us thy best advice.

_Avar._ Nay! I cannot have you, when I would none of you all;
Therefore, shift for yourselves, each one, for me, you shall.

_Adul._ Nay, for the pash of God! tell us what best to do;
Ye know I was ne'er slack to restore you unto.

_Avar._ These ladies that are come for commonweal's relief,
Prepare to work us woe, and do us all mischief.

_Insol._ Nay, by His precious populorum! I swear
Not the proudest of them all can hurt me a hair.

_Oppr._ If they offer, of us, to make them gauds or toys
They shall [find], I trow! we are no babes nor boys.

_Avar._ To prevail against them with force I do despair.

_Insol._ Be that as be may.

_Adul._ I will fall to speaking fair;
But, of all this trouble, we may thank People, this wretch.

_Oppr._ Faith, villain! if we scape, thou shalt an halter stretch.

_Adul._ But what remedy therewhile?

_Avar._ Faith! all will be nought.

_Adul._ Tell us what to do.

_Avar._ I will--they come--we are caught.

_Adul._ Whither shall I run?

_Avar._ Now sing a song, Honesty!

_Adul._ I am past singing now.

_Avar._ Yes, one song, Honesty!
Hay! hay! hay! hay!
I will be merry while I may.

ACTUS QUINTI, SCENA NONA.

VERITY. JUSTICE. AVARICE. RESPUBLICA. ADULATION.
MISERICORDIA. PEACE. PEOPLE.
INSOLENCE. OPPRESSION.

_Ver._ Here they be, all four! this is a happy chance.

_Avar._ Take each man a lady, sirs! and let us go dance!

_Resp._ I left People here for a train, to hold them talk:
Alas, that I could tell which way best hence to walk!

_Avar._ What be these fair ladies? and whither will they, trow?

_Just._ We arrest you, sirs! all four, as ye stand in a row;
Not so hardy in your hearts, our arrest to gainsay.

_Avar._ Nay! we are content, if ye let us go our way.

_Just._ No, not a foot! we must first your reckoning take.

_Avar._ I ne'er bought nor sold with you, reckoning to make;
Nor I know not who you be.

_Just._ Justice is my name.

_Avar._ Where is your dwelling?

_Just._ In heaven; and, thence I came.

_Avar._ Dwell ye in heaven and so mad to come hither?
All our hucking here is how we may get thither!

_Just._ I bring heaven with me, and make it where I am.

_Avar._ Then I pray you let me be your prentice, Madame!
I will be at your beck.

_Just._ Ye shall, ere ye depart.

_Avar._ I would learn how to make heaven, with all my heart.
Well, as for Lady Misericordia,
I remember I saw you with Respublica.

_Adul._ You, if you so please, may do much good in this land;
Many, at this hour, do need your good helping hand.

_Avar._ And ye came down from heaven too, I judge?

_Miser._ Yea, sure!

_Avar._ Why, what folk are ye that cannot heaven endure?
And what may I call you, lady?

_Pax._ My name is Peace.

_Avar._ Ye have long dwelt with us; we have been long in peace.

_Peace._ Call ye it peace, sirrah! when brother and brother
Cannot be content to live one by another?
When one for his house, for his land, yea, for his groat,
Is ready to strive and pluck out another's throat?
I will in all such things make perfect union.

_Avar._ Then, good-night! the lawyers gain, by Saint Tronnion!
Westminster Hall might go play, if that came to pass.
Faith! we must serve you with a supersedeas.

_Ver._ Well! leave vain prattling, and now come answer to me.

_Avar._ I must hear first what ye say, and who ye be.

_Ver._ I am dame Verity.

_Avar._ What? the daughter of Time?

_Ver._ Yea!

_Avar._ I know my master, your father, well afine.
Welcome, fair lady! sweet lady, little lady,
Plain lady, smooth lady, sometime spital lady;
Lady Long-tongue, lady Tell-all, lady Make-bate:
And, I beseech you, from whence are ye come of late?

_Ver._ I am sprung out of the earth.

_Avar._ What, ye do but jest!

_Ver._ The book sayeth: _Veritas de terra orta est_.

_Avar._ Happy is he which hath that garden plat, I trow!
Out of which such fair blossoms do spring and grow;
Yet this one thing, I say.

_Ver._ What?

_Avar._ Ye are friend to few,
Pressed to open all things, and men's manner to show.

_Ver._ If ye be true and just, that is your benefit.

_Avar._ True or untrue, just or unjust, it is your spite;
And glad ye are to take other folks in a trip.
[Yes! ye do it no]w and then, your ownself, on the whip.
Well, ye might be honest of your tongue, if you would.

_Ver._ If your acts were honest, ye did but as ye should.

_Avar._ Who chargeth me with the crime of any vice?

_Ver._ Thou callst thyself Policy, and art Avarice.

_Avar._ Nay, I defy your malice, I am Policy--
Ask of my fellows here! am not I Policy?

_Ver._ Ladies! will ye all see him openly tried?

_Just._ If he be an ill one, let him be descried.

_Ver._ What hast thou in thy bosom?

_Avar._ Nothing, I, truly!

_Ver._ Nothing truly got, say! show it forth openly.

_Avar._ What should I show forth?

_Ver._ That bag in thy bosom hid.

_Avar._ It lieth well, I thank you; as much as though I did.

_Ver._ Nay, come on! out with it!

_Avar._ Lo! here 'tis, for your fancy.

_Ver._ Give it me!

_Avar._ Yea, nay; I defy that Policy!

_Ver._ Open it!

_Avar._ Yea, that each body might be catching:
Some's teeth, I think, water e'en since to be snatching.

_Ver._ We must needs see what it is.

_Avar._ 'Tis a bag of rye!

_Ver._ Rye, what rye?

_Avar._ A bag of rye [...]

_Ver._ ... such as men do eat?

_Avar._ A bag of rye flour, a great deal better than wheat.

_Ver._ Let us see what rye it is! pour it out in haste!

_Avar._ Yea, shall? I trow not! indeed, so might we make waste.

_Ver._ There is no remedy; pour it out in my lap!

_Avar._ Nay! if there be no choice, I will use mine own cap.

_Ver._ So! a bag of rye, quod thou?

_Avar._ Yea, so God me speed!

_Ver._ Thou sayest even truth; 'tis a bag of rye indeed:
Usury, perjury, pitchery, patchery;
Pilfery, bribery, snatchery, catchery;
Flattery, robbery, cloutery, botchery;
Trumpery, harlotry, misery, treachery!

_Avar._ There is too, an please you, a little sorcery,
Witchery, baudery, and such other grossery.

_Ver._ And how gottst thou all this in thy possession?

_Avar._ Pardon me! and I will make my confession:
The world is hard, and the bag is but very small;
I got it where I could, to go on beg[ging] withal--
A plain true dealing man that loveth not to steal;
And I durst not be bold to crave of commonweal.

_Ver._ Now, do off thy gown, and turn the inside outward!

_Aver._ Let me alone, and an angel for a reward!

_Ver._ Come, off at once! when? come off! no more gaudies [n]or japes.

_Avar._ Must I needs whip over the chain like Jack-a-napes?

_Resp._ Out! in the virtue of God! what do ye here see?

_Avar._ All this had been lost, Respublica, but for me!

_Resp._ O Lord! where hast thou dragged up all these purses?

_Ver._ Where he hath had for them many thousand curses.

_Resp._ Where hast thou gotten them? tell truth, and do not lie!

_Avar._ Where no honest man could have gotten them but I.
In blind corners, where some would have hoarded them,
Had not I take them with the manner and burdened them.

_Resp._ And whither was it thine intent to convey them now?

_Avar._ I hid them that I might bring them safely to you.
I durst not bear them openly, to God I vow!
I wis ye have heard me blame pickpurses or now--
And this is all yours.

_Ver._ It is hers, in very deed!

_Avar._ With sufferance I could get mo to help her need.

_Ver._ How say ye, Respublica! now to Policy?

_Resp._ I ne'er suspect him nor had him in jealousy.

_Ver._ In such like counterfeits shall all the rest appear.
Sirs! do off your utmost robes, each one even here.
Now, what these are, ye see plain demonstration.

_Resp._ Insolence, Oppression, Adulation!
O Lord! how have I be used these five years past!

_People._ Nay, Is ne'er thought better of om, ich, by God's vast.
Vey! madame, my lady! such strussioners as these
Have oft made you believe the moon was a green cheese.

_Ver._ Now ye see what they are; the punishment of this
Must be referred to the goddess Nemesis:
She is the most high goddess of correction;
Clear of conscience, and void of affection;
She hath power from above, and is newly sent down
To redress all outrages, in city and in town;
She hath power from God all practice to repeal
Which might bring annoyance to lady Commonweal;
To her office belongeth the proud to overthrow,
And such to restore as injury hath brought low;
'Tis her power to forbid and punish in all estates
All presumptuous immoderate attemptates.
Her cognisance, therefore, is a wheel and wings to fly,
In token her rule extendeth far and nigh;
A rudder, eke, she beareth in her other hand,
As directri[c]e of all things in every land;
Then pranketh she her elbows out, under her side,
To keep back the heady, and to temper their pride.
To her, therefore, dear sisters! we must now resort,
That she may give sentence upon this naughty sort;
She knoweth what is fittest for their correction;
Nemesis must, therefore, herein give direction.

_Just._ Then, People! while we lady Nemesis do fet
All these offenders in this custody we set;
Them to apprehend and keep till we come again.

_People._ An ye give me tority, chill keep om, that is plain.

_Insol., Oppr._ Shall People keep us, of whom we have been lords?

_People._ Stand still, or by Jis! [chill] bind you vast with cords.
Nay, sirs! ich ha' you now in my custodity.

_Avar._ Mass, I will be gone for my mine own commodity.

_People._ Zoft! whither wilt thou? wilt thou not be roiled?
Stand still, skitbrained thief, or thy bones shall be coiled!
Yond be they coming now, che war't that will tame ye.
A, zee! art thou gone too? come back, and evil a thee!

ACTUS QUINTI, SCENA DE[CIMA].

NEMESIS. RESPUBLICA. MISERICORDIA. VERITAS.
JUSTICE. PAX. PEOPLE. INSOLENCE.
OPPRESSION. ADULATION. AVARICE.

_Nem._ Come forth, Respublica, our darling most dear!

_Resp._ At your word, most gracious lady! I am here.

_Nem._ Are these your trusty men that had you in government?

_People._ The skitb[r]ains nold not be roiled ne'er, since ye went.

_Nem._ People! why art thou bashful and standest so far?
Be of good cheer now; and, I warrant thee, come near!

_People._ I will come no near: cha not be haled up with states,
But I scannot be fichant enough amongst my [mates].

_Nem._ Come near, when I bid thee

_People._ Marry! but I ninnat;
I namnot worthy to perk with you, no, I nam not.

_Nem._ Well, Respublica! are these your late governors,
Whom ye took for faithful and trusty counsellors?

_Resp._ Yea, forsooth, Madame!

_Avar._ These three be, but I am none;
For I was discharged nigh half-an-hour agone.

_Nem._ Come! first stand forth here, thou Adulation!

_Adul._ Speak a good word for me, lady Compassion!

_People._ Nay! she shall not need, I chill speak for thee myself--
Madame, take good heed! for this is a naughty elf.

_Adul._ Nay, Madame! the cause of all this was Avarice;
He forged us new names, and did us all entice.

_Oppr._ We neither did nor could work, but by his advice.

_Adul._ Because I got no more, he chid me once or twice.

_Insol._ Madame! only Avarice made us all to fall.

_Avar._ Yea? Fall to preaching? Nay! then will I tell all.
Madame! ere I had taught these merchants any while,
They were cunninger than I, all men to beguile.
And Verity saw mine were small purses and bags,
Tottering loose about me, like wind-shaken rags.
But he that should have bagged that Insolence did win,
Must have made a poke to put five or six shires in;
He must have made wide sacks for castles, towns, and woods:
The canvas to make them of, were worth ten times my goods.
Then Oppression here, to feather well his nest,
Cared not, of their livelood whom he dispossest.
Bishops, deans, provosts, the poor folk from the spital,
Lands with church and chapel, all was for him too little.
Poor I did not so; I scraped but little crumbs;
And, here and there, with odd ends, patched up my sums.
Flattery got his thrift by counterfeit honesty;
Yet, by these ten bones! I bid him use modesty.
Therefore, spare not him; he will ne'er come to good pass;
But I may well be mended, by the Mary Mass!

_Miser._ Lady Nemesis! now have ye occasion
And matter to show your commiseration.
[It is much] more glory, and standeth with more skill,
Lost sheep to recover, then the scabby to spill.

_Just._ But how shall this redress be well persecuted,
If justice with mercy shall be executed?
Straight Justice must such great enormities redress;
Severity must put men in fear to transgress;
Justice must give each man that he doth deserve.

_Miser._ If offenders were not, wherefore might mercy serve?

_Avar._ Stick hard to it, good, sweet lady Compassion!
We are all else undone, by Cock's bitter passion!

_Miser._ Verity! how say you? have I not spoken well?

_Ver._ Mercy in one place with Justice sometime may dwell,
And right well agree together--how say you, Peace?

_Pax._ Where all thing is well amended, I do increase.

_Nem._ Ladies, we have heard all your discreet advises;
And each one shall have some part of your devises.
Neither all nor none shall taste of severity
But as they are now known through lady Verity;
So shall they receive our mercy or our ire,
As the wealth of Respublica shall best require.
Now, Adulation! what sayeth you in this case?

_Adul._ Nought in mine excuse, but submit me to your grace.
Only this: I promise, if I may Mercy find,
Utterly for ever to change my wicked mind;
I ne'er sought afore mine own private gain so much,
But I will further Commonweal's ten times so much.

_Nem._ Well, thou mayest become a worthy subject, it is plain.

_Adul._ Else ye know at all times how to reach me again.

_Nem._ Thou mightest swerve of frailty, thou might'st do to please;
Thou might'st do for fear, thou might'st do to live in ease;
Well, upon thy promise, for once we pardon thee.
Go, and see that from henceforth thou be perfect Honesty!

_Adul._ So long as shall please God to give me life and heale,
I shall most duly serve God and the Commonweal.
Now to thee, Avarice; have at thy petticoat!

_Nem._ Now the plague of commonweals, as all men do note:
Come forth, Avarice! to spare thee will be no boot;
Thou must be plucked up, e'en by the very root,
Because thou scraped'st up whatever thou might'st get.

_Avar._ Indeed, I thank God there is no man in my debt!

_Nem._ And, because thou caught'st it by wrong contribution,
Thou shalt first and foremost make restitution.

_Avar._ Let me then, with pardon, go hence about it lightly.

_Nem._ No! ye shall have help to see it done uprightly.
People, take this fellow--

_Avar._ God save me from this plunge!

_Nem._ --that he may be pressed as men do press a sponge;
That he may drop aught, t' every man his lot,
To the utmost farthing that he hath falsely got.

_People._ An ye bid me, chill squeeze him as dry as a kyx.

_Avar._ Nay, the pash of God! I shall then die of the flix.

_Nem._ Nay! thou shalt deliver him to the head officer
Which hath authority, justice to minister.

_People._ Chil 'liver him to the constable, and come again.

_Nem._ Now, Justice, for these two that do here remain:
Because the fault of Insolence is heinous and great--
Lucifer's own fault t' aspire to the highest seat--
And because Oppression hath wronged men so sore
That he spoiled innocents of all they had and more,
People shall deliver them unto safe custody,
Where they may no farther annoy anybody.
When the time may serve t' examine and try their cause,
Call them both before you, and judge them by the laws.

_People._ And shalche carry away these same two men also?

_Nem._ Yea; go deliver them to an officer, go!
Now, darling Respublica! ye are in th' old good estate;
And they taken away that spoiled you of late.
Now cleave to these ladies, from heaven to you direct;
They from all corruption will you safe protect.
Well, I must go hence to another count[r]y now,
That hath of redress the like case that was in you.
I leave you for this time, immortal thanks to give
To God, and your Sovereign, which do you thus relieve.

_Resp._ Thanks be to Thee, O Lord! which hast this world wrought,
And hast me to this state from utter ruin brought.

_Pax._ Now let us all together, both with heart and voice,
In God and in Queen Mary most joyfully rejoice.

_Ver._ Praying that her reign, most graciously begun,
[May] long years endure, as hitherto it hath done.

_Just._ Pray we for her Council, to have long life and health,
Their sovereign to serve.

_Pax._ And to maintain Commonwealth.

_Omnes._ Amen!

[_Cantant et exeant_.

FINIS.

]

AN INTERLUDE OF

WEALTH AND HEALTH

VERY MERRY AND FULL OF PASTIME, NEWLY AT THIS TIME IMPRINTED

#The Names of the Players:#

WEALTH
HEALTH
LIBERTY
ILL-WILL
SHREWD WIT
HANCE
REMEDY

Four may easily play this Play

* * * * *

EXTRACT FROM THE STAT. REG. 1557 [ARBER I. 75]

To master John wally these bokes Called _Welth and_ _helthe / the treatise of the ffrere and the boye / stans puer_ _ad mensam_ another of _youghte charyte and humylyte_ an _a b c for cheldren_ in englesshe _with syllabes_ also a boke called _an hundreth mery tayles_.... ij^s

[WEALTH AND HEALTH.]

_A2,r. Here entereth_ WEALTH _and_ HEALTH
_singing together a ballat of two parts, and after speaketh_ WEALTH.

_Wealth._ Why is there no courtesy now I am come?
I trow that all the people be dumb;
Or else, so God help me and halidom!
They were almost asleep.
No words I heard, nor yet no talking;
No instrument went, nor ballats singing;
What ails you all, thus to sit dreaming?
Of whom take ye care?
Of my coming ye may be glad;
Therefore, I pray you be not sad,
For all your desire shall be had:
I can amend your cheer.
By God! I think ye have forgotten me.
I am Wealth of this realm; look upon me!
For I am to every man loving and friendly:
For Wealth hath no peer.

_Health._ Brother Wealth! have ye not yet done?
Ye praise yourself above the moon.
Every man may perceive thereby, soon,
That you lack discretion.

_Wealth._ Wherefore? by God! I cannot say too much.
I am so wealthy of substance and rich;
In all the world where is one such
As I am of comparison?

_Health._ Wealth is good, I cannot denay;
Yet praise yourself too much ye may;
For wealth, oftentimes, doth decay:
And wealth is nothing sure.

_Wealth._ Wealth hath been ever in this country; A2,_v._
And here I purpose still for to be;
For this is the land most meet for me,
And here I will endure.

_Health._ Therein ye speak full lovingly;
For, in this realm, wealth should be;
Yet, no displeasure, I pray you heartily!
But in the way of communication,
And for pastime, I would speak some ways,
Of no comparison, nor to you no dispraise--
I do not intend that manner always--
But for a recreation.

_Wealth._ Brother! whatsoever ye say to me
I will hear you patiently.
I am content, and I thank you heartily;
Begin, and say your pleasure.

_Health._ I thank you heartily; then will I
Somewhat unto my purpose apply:
Though Wealth be praised marvellously,
Yet to mine understanding
Wealth is mutable, and that in shame;
And Wealth is haughty and proud of name;
Wealth is cruel and in great blame;
For Wealth is ever wavering.

_Wealth._ To whom have I done any harm--can ye say?
Ye slander me now; yet I trust I may
Answer for myself in every manner way;
Ye will not deny that?

_Health._ God forbid but ye should do so!
And ye may do it whether I will or no.
In like wise I must answer you, also,
When ye say not true.
Though I be but to you a poor man, A3,_r._
Yet Health I hight; the same I am:
That is desired universally than--
Some calls me as good as you!

_Wealth._ As I? marry! there, indeed, ye do compare;
Such words might bring you soon in care.
Lewd person! thou art not ware
Of what substance I am.

_Health._ Yes! I can tell what you are; be not displeased.
Wealth is of great substance; that cannot be denied.
Yet, show your commodities, and ye shall be answered:
I promise you wealth is fugitive.

_Wealth._ What sayst thou? am I a tagetive?
I was never so taken up in my life,
Nor called unsure--well! I will make no strife.
Yet, whereas thou dost say
That I should show my commodities always,
The best for myself, whereof I ask praise,
If I should stand here all my life days
Yet I could not say.
Nor half the benefits that cometh of me,
It cannot be told nor recited shortly.
Wealth is the flower of all thing earthly--
That you cannot deny.
First, God save our sovereign lady, the Queen;
With all the Council, and all that with them been.
Am not I, Wealth, with them ever at ene?
Who should be there but I?
Men of the law, and jolly rich merchants
There be, wealthy both; of goods and lands,
Without comparison, is in their hands:
I, Wealth, have all treasure.

_Health._ O good sir! of whom cometh all this? A3,_v._
Of God only: to you no thank, I wis.
And yet man's wealth stands not all in riches:
I dare say that boldly.
When a man hath a competent living,
With the grace of God that passeth all thing,
Love of his neighbour, and good reporting:
Then is he wealthy.
Wealth of goods is but a fame;
He is wealthy that hath a good name;
Every wise man will covet the same:
For other wealth I not rech.
If a man have never so much good name
Every wise man will covet the same;
If his dispositions be nought and wood,
Then he is but a wretch.

_Wealth._ Nay! thou art a wretch, and a fool unwise,
Wealth of riches thus to despise;
Dost thou not see all the world arise
By goods and substance?
He that hath plenty of silver and gold
May have all thing, whatsoever he would.
When can Wealth lack, seeing all thing is sold,
And Wealth is of assurance?

_Health._ I deny that; your saying is nought:
Grace, heaven, nor cunning cannot be bought
Without great pain, and good deeds wrought;
Else man cannot them have.

_Wealth._ Stop thereat, and hold thy peace!
May not men buy heaven with richesse,
As to build churches and make by-ways?
Such deeds man's soul doth save.

_Health._ Yea! but yet ye must mark one thing, A4,_r._
If these goods came with wrong-doing
Shall ye have heaven for so spending,
Or yet any meed?
Nay, nay! except that man himself do meek,
And make resistance the right honour to seek,
Else all such good deeds is not worth a leek.
Wealth! hereof take heed!

_Wealth._ Why thinkest thou that all men which hath wealth
Getteth their goods with bribery and stealth?
Thy report is nought; therefore, Health,
I counsel thee to say the best.

_Health._ So I will; but yet, I must say true.
And now a little more I will say to you:
Much sorrow and care wealth doth brew;
He is seldom in rest.
When a man is a little hite and wealthy,
And hath in his chest treasures plenty,
Then will he wrangle, and do shrewdly
By his power and might.
With his neighbours he will go to law;
And a-wreak his malice for value of straw:
Wealth is fickle and out of awe,
Wilful in wrong or right.

_Wealth._ Thou speakest with a slanderous tongue,
All of evil will; and yet, it is wrong:
Wealth in this realm hath been long;
Of me cometh great honour.
Because that I, Wealth, hath great port,
All the world hither doth resort;
Therefore I, Wealth, am this realm's comfort,
And here I will endure.

_Health._ So I would ye should, and I shall do the same.
A4,_v._
Health I am called, and that is my name;
If I would not abide here I were to blame,
For here I am well cherished.
Yet say yourself now, indifferently,
And if every man do not love me,
Health, as well as Wealth? yes, verily!
Thereof I dare be reported.

_Wealth._ Why should they love thee--that would I know--
As well as me? I pray you, show!
I am the superior of high and low;
No man may compare with me.

_Health._ To show why, I will not be afraid;
For, I can bide by that I have said:
If wealthy men be very well apaid,
Or much they set you by.
But of wealth, if they have never so much--
Goods, treasure, and gold--and be called rich,
Yet, if they lack health, their pain is such
That they were better die.
A man to wear gold and be in pain,
What joy hath he? None! but would be fain
To give all his treasure for health, plain;
Or else he were very mad.
For, if a man be never so poor,
Yet if he have health, that is a treasure;
Then, for his living, he may labour,
And in his heart be glad.

_Wealth._ I never marked thus much, nor understood
That health was such a treasure, and to man so good;
Wherefore, I am sorry, and will change my mood:
Now, I pray you, forgive me!

_Health._ I will forgive, or else I were to blame; B1,_r._
And I pray you to forgive me the same;
I love you heartily, and will praise your name
If it please you to keep my company.

_Here entereth_ LIBERTY _with a song_,
_and after speaketh._

_Liberty._ Why tarry, sirs! whither are ye going?
I see well ye looked not for my coming.
Lo! out of sight, out of remembering;
Absence is cause of strangeness.
What look ye on? wherewhy are ye so strange?
From your fellow, Liberty, doth your minds change?
In your company I was wont to range;
What needs all this business?

_Wealth._ By Liberty, now, I do not set
Seeing that Health and I am met,
As felloweth together; no man shall let
Me for to love him best.

_Lib._ Let me hear what ye do say:
Then ye are about to cast me away!
How haps this? Marry! then I may
Go pick straws and take me rest.
I pray you, tell me whom I have offended;
If I have made a fau[l]t it shall be amended;
With so short warning let me not be voided:
I trow yet ye do but jest.

_Health._ Why do ye make this cavillation?
We intend to make no alteration;
Wealth and I have had communication:
He is my friend of old.

_Lib._ What was the matter? I pray you tell!
Methinks, I ought to be of counsel;
Or else, I promise you, ye do not well:
With you I should behold. B1,_v._

_Wealth._ The matter is done; we are agreed;
To reason it more it shall not need.
O, brother Health! thou art, indeed,
More preciouser than gold.

_Lib._ God's body! how cometh this gear to pass?
I am cast out at the cart's arse;
The world is nothing as it was
For I am here refused.

_Health._ Why be you angry that we do agree?
Then are ye not wise; for, if ye love me,
I will love him again; so it should be;
Or else, I were misadvised.

_Lib._ Then of my love ye set no store;
My company, I see well, ye looked not for.
Farewell! I will get me out of the door;
Yet I am your betters, and so am I called.

_Wealth._ Such presumptuous words will have a fall;
Your comparison is but feeble and small:
What can ye do? nothing at all
As you have reputed!

_Lib._ What were ye both two, were not I?
Wretches and caitiffs! look not so high;
Think no scorn hardly,
For I may be your peer.
If Wealth have never so much substance,
Lacking Liberty and were in durance,
Within a whit--I am in assurance--
Ye would pray me come near.
If Health be never so lust and strong,
Yet, if Liberty were kept from him long,
Then sorrow and care would be his song:
It would abate your cheer. B2,_r._
Fie of Wealth, which lacketh Liberty!
Fie of Health, and be in captivity!
Fie of Riches, and lack good company!
Liberty hath no peer!

_Health._ Will ye hear how he doth clatter?
What need ye to rehearse all this matter?
Ye know that we twain, afore any other,
Liberty must needs have still.
Liberty on us is glad to wait;
Ye stand too far in your own conceit:
I wis, Liberty, ye can make no bate
To catch us at your will!

_Lib._ Now, there ye lie! I can suffer no longer:
Wealth for Liberty doth labour ever;
And Health for Liberty is a great store;
Therefore, set me not so light.

_Wealth._ Liberty! I pray ye, reason no more!
Ye are welcome to us as ye were before;
Indeed, of Liberty it is great suitor:
Therefore welcome, by this light!

_Lib._ Now, I thank you both, full kindly!
Your strange words a little did grieve me;
And now, at your commandment, I am ready,
And at your own will.

_Here entereth with some jest_ ILL-WILL.

_Ill-Will._ Marry! I am come at the first call:
Will, your own man, have me who shall;
For I am Will, servant to you all;
Ye shall not need to send for me.

_Wealth._ Who is acquainted with this man?
He is very homely, and little good he can B2,_v._
To come in here so boldly; then
Drive him away quickly!

_Ill-W._ Why, I came not till I was called.
Your own Will openly ye named;
Then I came apace, lest I should be blamed:
Therefore, I pray you, let me bide still.

_[H]eal[th.]_ Whose will, or what will, doth he mean?
Thou art not my will, I forsake thee clean;
My will and their wills is often seen:
Our wills can none ill.

_Ill-W._ Alas, good masters! I can none ill.
Yet, by my troth! I am your evil will--
Your will, and your will, and your will; therefore, keep me:
I love ye, by God's mother!

_Lib._ This is a strange saying unto me:
My will, your will, and his will--this cannot be;
For in our wills is great diversity;
For one is not like another.

_Ill-W._ Yet, by Christ! your own will I am;
The maddest will, and the merriest than.
For God's sake! now let me be your man
Till ye have better acquaintance.

_Wealth._ I perceive this fellow is kind,
And oweth to us good will and mind;
Some kinds again then let him find:
Let him have some furtherance.

_Ill-W._ By God, sir! and I durst be so bold,
Acquaintance of this man claim I would,
And kindred, too; if the truth were told
We be of one consanguinity.

_Health._ How so? let me hear that, I pray thee heartily!

_Ill-W._ Will and Liberty is of ancestry old: B3,_r._
Without Liberty, Will dare not be bold;
And where Will lacketh, Liberty is full cold;
Therefore, Will and Liberty must needs be of kin.

_Lib._ Indeed, as he saith, it may well be;
For Will ever longeth unto Liberty:
Therefore, good friend, welcome to me!
I pray you all be good to him. [_And goeth out._

_Wealth._ For your sake he is welcome to us all;
Let him come to our place, and then he shall
Have succour of us and help withal:
And now we will depart.

[_And_ WEALTH _and_ HEALTH
_goeth out_.

_Ill-W._ Will ye go hence? I thank ye, masters, with all my heart!
I will seek you out, I warrant you! fear not!
Now they be gone; I am glad, by Saint Mary!
A little while here I purpose to tarry:
How to deceive Wealth, Health, and Liberty
Now must I devise.
For I am a child that is past grace;
Ill-Will--I am called that in every place--
Doth much mischief; this is a plain case:
Virtue I do utterly despise.
But if they wist what I were,
Then of my purpose I should be never the near:
I will keep my tongue lest that I mar
My whole intent and will.
But now I marvel, by this day!
Where Shrewd Wit is gone astray;
Some crafty touch is in his way--
I hear him! peace! stand still!

[_Entereth_ SHREWD WIT _with a song_.

_Dieu vous garde playsaunce!_
On seven or on mumchance, what yonkers dare avance B3,_v._
To play a groat or twain?
Lo! here I have in store
Two or three groats, and no more;
I take great thought, therefore,
For to keep it; it is much pain.
I come now out of a place
Where is a company of small grace:
Thieves and whores that spends apace--
They were drunken all the sort.
One of their purses I did aspy
Out of his sleeve, where it did lie;
And one winked on me with his eye:
But there began the sport.
There False Falsehood, and I, Crafty Wit
Got the purse: lo! here I have it.
I came my way and let him sit,
Smoke and shitten arse together.
And if that I had Ill-Will here,
With this money we would make good cheer.
Gentle brother Will! I pray thee, appear!
For thou art in some corner.

_Ill-W._ [_from without._] I would come in, but I am afeard
Lest that I be taken by the beard
With some catchpoll; I have heard
How thou hast stolen a purse.

_Wit._ Thou whoreson! art thou mad? come in, I say!

[ILL-WILL _comes in_.

This is not the first hazard that I have scaped;
If I make an hand to deck myself gay,
What am I the worse?

_Ill-W._ From thy company I cannot abide;
I must needs hold upon thy side:
Ill-Will and Shrewd Wit, who can hide? B4,_r._
For they will be together.

_Wit._ Now welcome, Will! and what cheer?
By God! I thought for thee a thousand year.
Peace! for God's body! who cometh there?
Hance Beerpot, a scon router!

[_Entereth_ HANCE _with a Dutch song_.

[_Hance._] Gut, mynen scone rutters, by the moder Got!
Ic heist nowne schon, for stave ye nete
De qusteke man, iche bie do do?
Van the groate bumbarde well ic wete
Dartyck dowsant van enheb it mete
Ic best de manikin van de keining dangliter
De grot keyser kind ic bene his kusketer.

_Ill-W._ Hear ye not drunken Hance, how he begins to prate?
The malapert Fleming is a little too checkmate.

_Wit._ Let the knave alone! for his name is War:
Such drunken Flemings your company will mar.

_Hance._ Ic best nen einond; ic best in soche;
Ye fecte nete vell; ic forstave ye in doche.

_Ill-W._ Com'st here leyt with your gound? stand near!
It becomes you better to handle a pot of beer.

_Hance._ Dat maght ic veil dan, ic can skynke frelyck;
Tab bers frew; ic bringes brore, begotts nemerick!

_Wit._ The whoreson knave, by the mass! is drunk
A winking, for deep his eyen be clean sunk.

_Hance._ Ic forave ye vell ye seg dac ic slepe
Nenike, nenike, ic compta hore for an audor cepe.

_Ill-W._ Well coppin, I pray thee, heartily tell us true
Wherefore comest thou hither for anything to sue?

_Hance._ Ye icke feger en bumbardere van de koyning wei it be
Heb twe skelling de dagh ic con scote de culveryn.

_Wit._ Nay! ye shall walk, a Fleming knave! will ye not see
B4,_v._
We have English gunners enow? there is no room empty.

_Hance._ Ic best en bomberde mot ye to me spreken
What segge ye? bones! it sal ye yode staen.

_Ill-W._ We speak not to thee; thou art a scon man,
But go thy way! they be not here that promote thee can.

_Hance._ Cant ye me a de house dragen van de grot here?

_Wit._ Hance! ye must go to the court, and for Wealth inquire.

_Hance._ What segte ye, Wealth? nenyke he is net hore;
Wealth best in Flanders; ic myself brought him dore.

_Ill-W._ Beshrew your whoreson Fleming's heart, therefore!
Indeed, as he saith, by war in Flanders there is wealth.

_Hance._ Segt ye dat brower? by the moder Got dan!
Gut naught ic mot watt, to sent Cafrin, to mi lamnan store.

[_And goeth out._

_Ill-W._ Is he gone? farewell, Hanijkin Bowse!
I pray God give him a hounded drouse;
For I trow a knave brought him to house.
But now, Brother Wit!
We must devose how that we may
Be in service with Wealth alway;
Let me hear what thou canst do, or say,
To help for to contrive it.

_Wit._ For thy pleasure that I shall.
This will I do first of all:
Flatter and lie, and evermore call
Them my good masters still.
Then with swearing, lying, and polling,
Bribery, theft, and privy picking,
Thus I, Shrewd Wit, will ever be doing,
I warrant thee, Ill-Will!

_Ill-W._ I can thee thank; this is well devised;
And I, Ill-Will, would have every man despised.
But now, another thing must be contrived, C1,_r._
Or else all will be nought.
There is one they call Good Remedy
In this realm; he hath great authority;
He is a noble man, and much worthy:
Many things he hath wrought.
He is called lust, discreet, and indifferent,
Willing to fulfil his sovereign's commandment;
He is not 'fraid to do right punishment;
Therefore of him I am afraid!

_Wit._ So am I, too; this maketh me very sad.
Yet, oftentimes, I have been hard bestrad;
Now that I am warned of him I am very glad:
S[ome crafty wile] for him [shall ye] had.

_Ill-W._ Peace! no mo words; but mum!
Methink I hear mast Wealth come.
Kneel down and say such devout orison
That they may hear us pray.
Now, Jesu save Wealth, Health, and Liberty!

[LIBERTY _and_ HEALTH _returneth back_
_with_ WEALTH.

_Wealth._ Sirs! you will have both God's blessing;
So are ye worth for your praying;
Ye are well disposed, and of good living--
I will love you the better alway.

_Ill-W._ Sir! this do we use every day;
For Wealth, Health, and Liberty to pray.
This same is my brother to you I [say]:
He is an hard honest man!

_Wit._ Forsooth, master! I am his brother;
To be your servant was my coming hither;
As long as we could be together
Ye shall not perish than.

_Health._ To have you both to service I am content. C1,_v._
How say you, Liberty? will you thereto consent?
Will and Wit God hath us lent:
We may be glad of them.

_Lib._ If we should refuse Will and Wit
We were to blame; for they be fit.
Therefore, by my will they shall not flit:
They be welcome to me.

_Ill-W._ God thank you, masters, all three!
Ye shall find us poor, but true we cannot be--
My tongue stumbles, I cry you mercy!--
We will be true, I should say.

_Wealth._ Sirs, go your way home, unto one place!
And we will hie us after a-pace;
And when we come, we shall set you in case
To have a living alway.

_Health._ Then look ye do both truly and just;
For we must put you in great trust;
All our household guide ye must:
Behave you[r]self well.

_Wit._ Masters, fear not! for I have wit enough
To beguile myself, and to beguile you;
I have beguiled many one, I may say to you:
I pray you keep that in counsel.

_Lib._ Beware of that! what doth he say?
Beguile us all? yet I charge thee, Nay!
Ye shall not beguile us: if I may,
I will beware betime.

_Ill-W._ Sir, be not angry! I you pray;
The fool wotteth not he doth say;
He meaneth that he will be profitable alway,
And save you many things.

_Health._ What he meaneth I cannot tell, C2,_r._
But his saying is not well.
Depart hence, sirs! by my counsel,
And tarry us at our lodging.

_Wit._ Now and it please ye, will ye hear any singing?
Therein, I tell you, I am somewhat conning;
Ye shall hear and ye list.

_Lib._ Sir! I pray you sing and ye can.

_Ill-W._ Now will I begin like a lusty blood than.

[_They sing and go out._

[_Health._] Sirs! now go your way, of you I am glad
As of any servants that ever I had;
For these can do both good and bad:
We must needs have such men.
What were we if we lacked Will?
And without Wit we should live ill;
Therefore, Will and Wit I will keep still:
I promise you I love them.

[_Here cometh_ REMEDY _in and to him saith_--

_Wealth._ Sir! your mastership is heartily welcome;
Take your place here above, as it is reason.

_Health._ I pray you pardon us, we know not what ye be;
Ye seem a man of honour and of great authority.

_Lib._ Sir! to know wherefore ye come we are desirous.