Chapter VIII: Part 8

_Remedy._ I am he that ought for to be well known
Of you three specially; and of duty
Great pain and business, as for mine own,
For you I have taken because I love you heartily;
To maintain you is all my desire and faculty;
Yet hard it is to do, the people be so variable;
And many be so wilful: they will not be reformable.

_Wealth._ Sir! I pray you pardon us of our ignorance now;
I see well ye know us better than we do you.

_Rem._ I pardon you for I do know you well, both; C2,_v._
Wealth and Health is your right names:
The which England to forbear were very loth.
For by Wealth and Health cometh great fames;
Many other realms, for our great wealth, shames
That they dare not presume, nor they dare not be bold
To strive again England, or any right withhold.

_Health._ Sir! ye be welcome; I beseech you show us your name.

_Rem._ Good Remedy, forsooth! I am the same.

_Lib._ If I durst be so bold I would pray you heartily
To show us a part of your great authority.

_Rem._ My authority is given to me, most special,
To maintain you three in this realm to be:
What mine intent is I will tell, but not all,
For that were too long to rehearse, of a surety;
And I desire you all for to be loving to me,
For your own ease, come wealth and profit.

_Wealth._ Good Remedy! then we must desire your aiding;
For by Good Remedy cometh all our preferring.

_Rem._ All that I do intend, if ye will thereto agree,
And to be reformable for your own ease,
It is not the thing that lieth only in me.
But my good will, therefore, I will not cease,
To have your love and favour; and thereby to please
All the world over, and to promote this realm;
That you three may prosper--ye perceive what I mean?
The chief part of all wealth lieth in great estates:
Their substance and lands is right commendable.
Prelates of the church is wealthy of riches;
Merchants hath merchandise and goods incomparable,
Men of law and franklins is wealthy, which is laudable:
Thus wealth of riches is divided diverse ways; C3,_r._
And to these many charges come now-a-days.

_Health._ My heart rejoiceth to hear your good reporting;
Much are we bound to God which provideth all thing.

_Rem._ Forsooth! here is not half that I could rehearse
The benefits of God that He showeth to you, Wealth.
Consider Englishmen, how valiant they be and fierce;
Of none nations none such when they have their health;
No land can do us harm but with falsehood or stealth.
Remember what number of men, or artillery, and good ordinance;
Specially the grace of God which is our chief furtherance.
If there be any that will grudge, surmise, or do
Again Wealth, Health, and Liberty, then must I, for the same,
Show mine authority and power, for to remedy it, so
That none of you shall diminish, nor amiss be tane.
I, Good Remedy, therefore, may and will speak without blane
For the commonwealth, and health both of the soul and body:
That is my office and power; and therefore I have my authority.

_Wealth._ Our Lord continue ye, and we thank you heartily
Both for your good instruction, and for your kindness
That you intend so well for us, Good Remedy.
When we have need, we will desire your goodness.

_Health._ When we be infect in the soul or body,
Then will I seek Good Remedy for succour.
As yet, I thank God, I have no need greatly;
If I have, then will I seek to have your favour.

_Lib._ Sir! now we will depart hence, with your license,
For other divers business that we must have together.

_Rem._ Sirs! I am content; now, when ye will depart,
To God I commit you; I will not make you tarry.
But yet, I pray with all my mind and heart,
Take heed! in any wise eschew ill and shrewd company.
If a man be never so ...[_original is illegible_] C3,_v._
He shall lose his name, and to some vice they will him tempt;
Therefore beware of such people, and from them be exempt.

_Health._ Yes, yes, I warrant you! of such I will beware--
Farewell, Good Remedy, and well to fare!

[_And goeth out._

_Rem._ I pray God be your speed, and preserve you from pain!
It is my mind ye should prosper; I would have it so, fain.

[ILL-WILL _and_] WIT _returneth_.

_Ill-W._ Here is none of our acquaintance:
We have made too long tarriance--
That will ye say, perchance;
And they be gone home, come away apace.

_Wit._ Nay, by God! not so hasty;
A little while we will tarry.
Good even, sir, to you, marry!
Dwell ye in this place?

_Rem._ Nay, good fellow! I dwell not here:
Wherefore dost thou that inquire?
Holdest thou aught with any here?
Speak! be not afraid!

_Ill-W._ By God! I would I had your gown,
And were a mile without the town;
Thereon I would borrow a crown,
It is I that so said.

_Wit._ How, lookest thou on him half a-scorn?
I promise you he is a scant gentleman born:
What sayest thou in his face?

_Rem._ For somewhat in his face I look;
Indeed, his mastership stands a-crook:
For false shrews both of you I took,
And children that be past grace.

_Ill-W._ I will swear for him, as for these years twenty,
That he hath been ever as true as I;
Yet sometime he will steal and make a lie. C4,_r._
He is of my alliance.

_Rem._ In good faith, the same think I,
That ye be both like, full unthrifty.
Sirs! how do ye live? show me quickly,
Or I shall put you in durance.

_Wit._ How live we? marry, our meat!
Comest thou hither for to threat?
So lordly sir Wittam doth speak!
From whence doth he come--can ye show?

_Ill-W._ What dost thou ail? Canst thou tell?
Hast thou anything with us to mell?
By the mass! thy hands doth tickle--
Thou shalt bear me a blow.

_Rem._ You false thieves! I know ye well:
I shall let your purpose every deal,
Ill-Will and Shrewd Wit, the devil of hell
Take ye both, for me!

_Wit._ Marry, thou liest! our names be not so:
Call us but Wit and Will--add no more thereto.
If thou dost, thou were as good know
We shall handle you shrewdly.

_Rem._ Sirs, farewell! here I will no longer abide:
For you both, shortly, I will provide
That all your false craft shall be outtried,
And your subtilty known. [_And goeth out._

_Wit._ To go so soon, the whoreson was wise;
Therefore some now I must devise
That each man may Wealth, Health, and Liberty despise;
Or else he will mar all our matter.
Brother wat! let me alone:
When they come you shall see me anon;
Complain of him unto them, each one, C4,_v._
And put him out of favour.

_Ill-W._ Peace! no mo words, for they come yonder.

[WEALTH, HEALTH, _and_ LIBERTY _cometh in._]

_Wealth._ Sirs! I am glad that you be here.
How doth all our household? with them what cheer?
Is everything in order there,
After our intent?

_Ill-W._ Yea, Sir! they be all merry and glad;
With revel and rout sometime they be mad--
Pipe whore, hop thief, every knave and drab
Is at our commandment.

[HEALTH _turneth him_.

_Health._ What do ye say? then ye are to blame,
And we put you in trust for the same;
To keep such rule, it is a shame;
It is not for our honour.

_Wit._ By the mass! the whoreson doth lie;
There is no such rule, by God's body!
A man may break his neck as lightly
As his fast in your kitchen or cellar, truly!

[LIBERTY _turneth him_.

_Lib._ With that neither I am not content;
I would there should be liberality competent;
And, with honesty, it is convenient
That our neighbour fare the better.

_Ill-W._ You be angry with all that we have done?
Come away, brother! let us go hence soon;
I know a new master where we shall be welcome.
God be with you, gentle master!

_Wealth._ Why, will ye be gone for a word?
Peradventure, we did but bord;
Methink ye should your master ford
For to speak my mind. D1,_r_.

_Wit._ Nay, nay! I can tell what was the matter:
Remedy was here, and he did flatter;
Ye trust he more than us, and better;
But, mark the end! what ye shall find.

_Health._ With Good Remedy we spake, indeed;
To follow his counsel we had need.
He warned us that we should take heed
Of excess and prodigality.

_Wit._ I marvel ye speak so of Good Remedy:
It is I that can do more than he.
Wit can make shift at necessity
When Remedy cannot be heard.
I know some that hath, this thousand year,
Sought Good Remedy, and yet never the near;
Wit can put Remedy by, yea, this is clear;
For Wit is a crafty lad.

_Ill-W._ And Will is an ungracious stay;
Will hath done many things men say;
And if ye let Wit and Will go his way,
Ye will repent it soon.

_Lib._ Why, what cause have you to go your way?
Ye shall abide with us, though you say, Nay;
I will follow Will and Wit alway;
And so I have ever done.

_Wit._ If I wist all my masters would so do,
Then from your service I would not go;
Speak now! whether ye will or no,
And let us know your mind.

_Health._ Sirs! ye be welcome to me, plain;
And for your company I am full fain;
I had liever suffer great pain
Than to leave my Wit and Will.

_Ill-W._ Then, let us go hence; with kindness my heart do kill.
D1,_v._

_Health._ I pray you, let us go; wherefore do we bide still?

[_And goeth out_. [REMEDY _cometh in_.

_Rem._ As touching my first purpose, hither I am come again.
I trow ye know me; Good Remedy is my name;
That every day doth take great labour or pain
To amend all faults: I am chosen to the same.
If any man's conscience here doth grudge or shame,
Having in himself remorse, and mends in time and space,
I am Good Remedy, and God is full of mercy and grace.
Therefore I will stand aside, and a little while remain,
Of Wealth, Health, and Liberty for to inquire
How they be ordered; and if any man complain
I will be glad to show my remedy--methink I see one appear!

[HANCE _cometh in_.

_Hance._ Be Got's drowse! ic myself bin cumpt heye scon lansman;
Ic mot in ander land lopen, all is quade dan.

_Rem._ Thou Fleming! from whence comest thou, and what dost thou here?

_Hance._ Ic myself cumt from sent Katryn's doxe, mot ic skyne de
can beer.

_Rem._ Get thee thither again, and tarry here no longer!

_Hance._ Sir! ic mot mid ye spreken; ic myself be en scomaker.

_Rem._ What and thou be? therewith I have nothing ado.

_Hance._ Ic dest al forlore; copin is dod, ic maght not do thereto.

_Rem._ I pray thee, go hence, for thou dost trouble me ill.

_Hance._ Nen ic seker, ic wil not gon, ic wold fain live hore stil.

_Rem._ There is too many aliants in this realm; but now I,
Good Remedy, have so provided that Englishmen shall live the
better daily.

_Hance._ What segt ye? by Got's drowse! dai is de quade man;
Be de moro goi, ic myself love de scone Englishman.

_Rem._ Fie on thee, flattering knave! fie on you aliants all, I say!
Ye can, with craft and subtle figure, Englishmen's wealth away.

_Hance._ O, skon mester! ic heb hore bin this darten yeore.
Ic can skote de culverin, and ic can be de beare broer.

[_A line (or lines) apparently missing here_.

[_Rem._] Trust see so provide that Wealth from you have I shall.
D2,_r._

_Hance._ Ic seg to you dat Wealth is lopen in an ander contry;
Wat hebegy dar brough forstan ye net, segt me.

_Rem._ I understand thee well; yet, thou liest, like a knave.
Wealth is here in England, and Wealth still I trust we shall have.

_Hance._ Ic ment no quad, ic love de English man, by min bere!
Cump by sent Katrin, and ic shal ye geven twe stope bere.

_Rem._ Get thee hence, drunken Fleming! thou shalt tarry no
longer here.

_Hance._ Mot it net mare herebin woder sal ic gewest kiskin;
Ic wil to de kaizer gan, dar sall ic wal skinkin.

[_And goeth._

_Rem._ Is he gone? I pray God the devil go with him!
Where is Wealth, Health, and Liberty? I would see them come in.

[HEALTH _cometh in with a kercher on his head_.

_Health._ O, good Lord, help me! by your license, my Sovereign!
I am homely to come here in your presence, thus diseased.
Need constraineth me, for Remedy I would have fain;
I am infect, both body and soul, I pray you be not displeased.

_Rem._ Why, what ail you? show me! yet, you I do not know;
Glad I am to remedy any man that is affirmity;
I perceive by your phisn'amy that ye are very weak, feeble, and low;
Yet show me your grief, and I will help you gladly.

_Health._ Gracious Remedy! I thank you; yet I am half ashamed
To show you my malady and my name--I was called Health;
Therefore, I am well worthy to be punished and blamed
Because I have not followed your counsel, but all thing may be
suffered save Wealth.

_Rem._ Are you Health? this maketh me very pensive and sad:
Yet be of good cheer, and show how you were infect;
To remedy you and succour you, I would be very glad;
For God will punish the people when they be detect.

_Health._ Sir! I thank God therof; for well worthy I am,
My conscience doth judge; some trouble have I must;
Amends I will make to God, and if I can.
Wit and Will hath deceived me: in them I put my trust. D2,_v_.

_Rem._ If thou have done amiss and be sorry therefore,
Then half amends is made, for that is contrition.
Let that pass! now will I axe you one thing more:
Where be Wealth and Liberty? be they of good disposition?

_Health._ As for Wealth [he] is fallen in decay and necessity
By waste and war, through Ill-Will and Shrewd Wit;
And Liberty is kept in durance and captivity.
God help us all, and send us good remedy for it!

_Rem._ For to hear this tale, it maketh my heart heavy;
Yet, be of good comfort! God is full of grace, and I am good.

_Health._ Sir! then I beseech you, help us in the way of charity!

_Rem._ I would fain, but I cannot tell which way to begin,
Except I might catch Will and Wit; then, I trow, I could
Tie them shorter; for they destroy Wealth, Health, and Liberty by sin.
If I had the thieves, punish them extremely I would.

_Health._ You may soon catch them if ye will stand aside;
From this place they two will not long abide.

_Rem._ Methinketh I hear them come; help to hold them fast.

[ILL-WILL _turneth_.

_Ill-W._ Come in, Wit! for here is nobody;
We may be bold, and talk largely
Our hearts to ease, and show plainly
What we have done. [SHREWD WIT _comes in_.

_Wit._ I must needs laugh, I cannot forbear
To remember War, that knave! Will ye hear?
The whoreson Fleming was beshitten for fear,
Because he should void so soon.

_Ill-W._ Hark! now do I marvel, by this bread!
For I ween, surely, that Health be dead!
I saw him go with a kercher on his head,
As he should go to hanging.

_Wit._ Hark, in thine ear!--if the whoreson hap
To complain to him that wears the red cap,
I fear then shortly he will us clap D3,_r._
By the heels from our living.

_Ill-W._ Nay, nay! there is no doubt;
By him I have reported, all about,
That he doth not well his good name to put out:
Ill-Will cannot say well.

_Rem._ Friend! therein thou art the more to blame,
To slander me wrongfully and undeserved;
But, or thou depart thou shalt answer for the same.
Where is Wealth and Liberty? how hast thou them ordered?

_Ill-W._ Qury cisis quest is un malt ombre;
Me is un Spyanardo compoco parlavere.

_Health._ Thou false thief! is thine English tongue gone?
As mischievous Ill-Will and Shrewd Wit ye have destroyed many one.

_Wit._ Sir! hurt not me, and I will tell you truth, anon:
This same is as false a knave as ever came within Saint John's.

_Ill-W._ Per amor de my as pica un poco
Eo queris andar pour lagtaunt creae so.

_Rem._ I cannot tell what thou dost mean, babbler!
But thou shall speak English, and confess another matter.

_Health._ Sir! I beseech your lordship, in the way of charity,
Let not these thieves escape your hands: they have destroyed us
utterly.

_Wit._ Sir! believe him not! he speaks but of malice only.
We be true men; thereof we shall fetch good witness,
An honest man that shall be bound for him and me.
The law saith plain: _Nulla fides contra testes_.

_Rem._ That is truth; but who will be witness or bound for thee?

_Ill-W._ There is three among you in this house.

_Wit._ I will go to fetch them quickly.

_Rem._ They will come unsend for, I warrant you, if they wist.
What be their names? tell me what they be!

_Ill-W._ That one is John Irische and John Sholer:
But full these be honest men, all three. D3,_v._

_Health._ Trust not their words! they will dissemble still;
They are so false and crafty, all their intent is ill.

_Ill-W._ Ye lie falsely! I speak but right and reason;
And by the law of arms, ye must needs be tane.
You are called Good Remedy which, at all season,
Should lean to man's life, and maintain the same.
We be here both your prisoners, wrongfully accused by defame:
Keep one of us fast; let him lie for all;
That other for friends and witness go shall.

_Wit._ Sir! let him not go, and leave me behind;
He will ever be a false knave, for I know his mind.

_Ill-W._ Hold thy tongue, foolish knave! I do not mean so.

_Rem._ I hear now ye cannot agree which of you should go.

_Ill-W._ No, by God's body! there shall none go but I.

_Wit._ Thou playest the knave! it must needs be I!

_Health._ Keep them safe, I pray you; for if they scape again
Many men shall repent it: it shall be to our pain.

_Rem._ They be here yet; to keep them fast is mine intent.
Have them away, both to prison, incontinent!

_Ill-W._ Lo, false knave! this is for thy crafty wit;
Now fast by the heels we are like to sit.

_Wit._ I am content so that I may have company;
If I should be hanged I would be hanged honest.

[_And goeth out._

_Rem._ Go hence with them, and bring Wealth and Liberty.

_Health._ Come away, ye thieves! now I shall keep you surely!

[_And goeth out._

_Ill-W._ Lock us up, and keep us as fast as ye can,
Yet Ill-Will and Shrewd Wit shall be with many a man.

_Rem._ I am half ashamed that long it hath been said
That noble men by such wretches hath been deceived.
They did rejoice and jest, and were very well apaid,
Trusting to scape clear and still for to have reigned.
But now, they shall not so; let them be well assured
That Ill-Will and Shrewd Wit shall have but ill rest; D4,_r._
For wheresoever they be I will break their nest.

_Wealth._ In the honour of God we ask you forgiveness, all three;
We ought to be ashamed to look you in the face.
By our folly and negligence we have done so unwisely;
We were foully deceived; we put us to your grace:
This shall be a good warning for us a long space;
When man is well punished then he will beware;
Who that knoweth what need is, will after dread care.

_Rem._ I may not blame you greatly, for by mine own reason
I know Ill-Will and Shrewd Wit deceiveth great and small.
If ye can remember this, and beware another season,
This is a good example and learning to you all:
Now serve God and love Him, and for grace ever call,
And Ill-Will and Shrewd Wit from you I shall abstain:
Ye have used them too long to your damage and pain.

_Health._ Forsooth, sir! ye say truth; they did us great displeasure;
Full hard it is to vanquish the ungracious Ill-Will,
He is so crooked by flattery, dissimulation, and such other.
Man's mind is so variable, and glad to report ill,
I fear many one yet would have him reign still;
For some unto their own will hath so much affection:
Yet the devil and Ill-Will is both of one complexion.

_Lib._ Ill-Will is nought, but worse is Shrewd Wit;
For he contriveth all subtle imagination;
It were unpossible for a man else to do it.
Shrewd Wit breweth mischief, and false conspiration;
He hath put me, Liberty, in prison and great tribulation;
If it had not been for your good remedy and furtherance,
I, and other that hath liberty, should have been in durance.

_Rem._ Be all of good cheer, and have no mistrust!
The end of Ill-Will and Shrewd Wit is but shame.
Though they reign awhile, wrongfully and unjust,
Yet Truth will appear, and their misdeeds blame; D4,_v._
Then wrong is subdued, and good remedy tane;
Though falsehood cloak and hide his matters all,
Craft will out, and deceit will have a fall.
Whereas ye are now in distress, all three,
Near were ye brought in case like to mar;
Now, have ye no doubt! if ye will be ruled after me
I shall restore ye again as well as ever ye were.
Wealth! keep still this realm; look ye stray not far!
And Health! be of good cheer! your disease I can soon mend.
Liberty! now ye be released, do no more offend!

_Wealth._ Now let us all thank God, that Good Remedy hath send;
Trust to Him only for His grace and goodness.
We axe forgiveness of our trespass; I trust we will amend,
And clean forsake sin, folly, and unthriftiness.
Thus we will here conclude. Sovereign! of your graciousness,
We beseech you to remit our negligence and misbehaviour:
There we have said amiss, we commit all to your favour.

_Health._ And for your preservation heartily we will pray;
Your realm to increase with joy and tranquillity;
That Wealth, Health, and Liberty may continue here alway,
By the oversight and aid of him that is Good Remedy;
Which willingly doth his duty under your authority,
As part here appeareth, your purpose to maintain:
God continue his goodness, that long he may reign.

_Rem._ Jesu! preserve Queen Elizabeth, the noble princess worthy!
Jesu! continue her health long for to endure!
Jesu! endue her in virtue, grace, and honour!
Jesu! maintain the Lords of the Council to execute good remedy ever!
Jesu! speed and help all them God's honour to further!
Jesu! increase the commonalty to prosper and do well!

FINIS.

* * * * *

[The printing of this play in the original is atrocious--_à_ _la_ Cock-Robin shop: type worn and battered; bad spelling; turned letters--b, d, f, long s, k, l--all long "stamps" used interchangeably; throughout a monument of bad Caxtonship.]

]

A NEW INTERLUDE OF

IMPATIENT POVERTY

NEWLY IMPRINTED, 1560

Four men may well and easily play this Interlude

PEACE, and }
COLHAZARD, and } for one man
CONSCIENCE }

ABUNDANCE and } for another man
MISRULE }

IMPATIENT POVERTY }
PROSPERITY, and } for one man
POVERTY }

ENVY, and the } for another man
SUMNER }

Imprinted at London, in Paul's Churchyard
at the Sign of the Swan, by JOHN KING

[IMPATIENT POVERTY.]

PEACE _beginneth_. A2,_r._

_Peace._ The puissant Prince and Innocent most pure,
Which humbly descended from the seat sempiternal,
Illumine his beams of grace to every creature;
To withstand the conflict of our enemies mortal;
The devil, the world, and the flesh, these three in special,
Which setteth division between the soul and the body;
In like wise envy setteth debate between party and party.
I speak for this cause: daily ye may see
How that, by envy and malice, many be destroyed;
Which, if they had lived in peace with patient humility,
Riches and prosperity with them had been employed.
For thereas is peace, no man is annoyed;
For by peace men grow to great richesse;
And by peace men live in great quietness.
I am named Peace, which Envy doth expel.
Envy with me shall never rest;
For Envy is one of the pains of hell.
When that he sojourneth within a man's breast,
Like the burning Phoenix in her own nest,
Though she can none other hurt, ne grieve,
Yet she doth not cease herself to mischieve

_Envy._ A, sir! here was a long predication:
Methought ye said, in your communication,
To every man peace was most behoved.

_Peace._ Forsooth! and so said I.

_Envy._ That shall be proved contrary, by and by;
For by peace much people are undone.

_Peace._ What people are tho[se]?

_Envy._ The armourer, the fletcher, and the bowyer,
Mariners, gunners, and the poor sowdyer;
Yea, and also many another artificer
Which I do not rehearse by name.

_Peace._ I say the universal people doth best obtain A2,_v._
Whereas Peace is ever abiding.

_Envy._ Thou liest! so God me help and halidom!
For then were surgeons clean undone.
Of them that will fight, and break a pate,
They get good living, both early and late;
And what sayest thou by men of law?
Their living were not worth a straw
And every man should live in peace!

_Peace._ That is not for the commons increase;
For by peace they profit in many a thing.
Peace setteth amity between king and king;
In time of peace merchants have their course
To pass and repass.

_Envy._ Thou liest, knave! by the mass!
For under colour of peace much subtlety hath been wrought;
And ships are taken the merchants dear have bought--
Was that for their promotion?
Nay, in time of war,
Such a knave durst not stir.
By the mass! were it not for shame thou shouldst bear me a blow.

_Peace._ Hold thy hands, thou lewd fellow!
Thou art of evil disposition
Thus against peace to repugne;
The which from heaven descended down
To bring man out of captivity.

_Envy._ A, whoreson! why dost thou lie?
When were thou in heaven? tell me by and by!
How camest thou down? with a ladder or a rope?

_Peace._ It were no sin to hang thee by throat;
Thy words be envious, not grounded on charity.

_Envy._ Sir! one thing, I pray you, tell me.

_Peace._ What is that?

_Envy._ Have ye any wife, or no? A3,_r._

_Peace._ Wherefore ask ye so?

_Envy._ Because ye say peace is most expedient:
If your wife made you cuckold, you being present,
What would ye do?

_Peace._ Give her such punishment as longeth thereto.

_Envy._ A false, flattering whoreson, lo!
Now thou sayest against thine own declaration:
If thou fight, where is then peace become?

_Peace._ I break not peace with doing due correction;
For correction should be done charitably--
_Irascemini et nolite peccare_.

_Envy._ I shall meet that at _omnium quare_:
Peace should forgive, and not be revenged.
Hence, whoreson! by our Lady of Wolpit,
I shall rap thee of the pate!

_Peace._ Go hence, wretch! thou makebate!
It were alms to set thee in Newgate.
Ho, Master Constable, come near!
Here is a wretch without reason;
Take and put him in prison,
With as many irons as he may bear!

_Envy._ By our lady! I will come no near.
A constable, quod ha! nay, that will I not abide;
For I am loth to go shorter tide.
Yet long, whoreson! for all thy pride,
I shall meet with thee another day,
When one of us two shall go a knave away.

_Peace._ O, thou wretch! thou ought to remord
That so far art exiled from charity.
Lo! he thinketh not how meekly his Maker and Lord
Suffered reprefe, and died upon a tree,
Giving us example that with humil[it]y
Every man should follow his trace, A3,_v._
That in heaven will claim a place.

[_Enter_ IMPATIENT POVERTY.]

_Imp. Pov._ Keep, keep, for Cock's face!

_Peace._ Why art thou so out of patience?

_Imp. Pov._ A knave would have rested me:
I owe him but forty pence--
He shall abide, by God's dear blest!

_Peace._ Take heed, my friend! thus saith the text:
In little meddling standeth great rest.
Therefore, pay thy duty well and honestly,
With few words discreetly;
Another time ye shall be the better trust.

_Imp. Pov._ That will I never do while I live; let him do his best.
I had liever lay all my good to pledge
To get a writ of privilege;
So may I go by his nose at large,
Spite of his teeth, whosoever say Nay.

_Peace._ This is but a wilful mind: if thou wilt not pay
Thy very duty, which cannot be denied,
Getting of thy writ and expense in the law
Will cost more than thy duty--this well I knaw.
Thy debt therewith cannot be paid;
It is only a deferring of the payment.

_Imp. Pov._ Yet the knave shall not have his intent.

_Peace._ Thou shalt pay by rightful judgment,
For the law is indifferent to every person.

_Imp. Pov._ I see thou holdest on his opinion.
Yet, I set not by you both a rish:
And I meet the knave I shall hew his flesh;
Help him, thou old churl and thou can!

_Peace._ I see thou art an evil-disposed man:
I utterly forsake thy condition.

_Imp. Pov._ Marry! avaunt, long, precious whoreson!
I set not by thee nor him, I make God avow!
I am as good a man as thou, for all thy good: A4,_r._
Let it be tryd by manhood, and thereto I give thee my glove.

_Peace._ All such warriors I do reprove,
For peace loveth not to fight.

_Imp. Pov._ No, old fool! thou hast lost thy might;
For in age is nought else but cowardise.

_Peace._ Youth with his courage light,
Nor strength with multitude, I do thee plight
Are not only the cause of victory.

_Imp. Pov._ No, good sir! what then?

_Peace._ Grace and good governance of man.
For with good discretion they began
That were the great winners of victory.

_Imp. Pov._ Then victory is gotten by discretion;
I pray you, sir, show me this lesson:
How to come to richesse, for that is all my care.
For I am ever in great necessity;
Meat and drink with me is scarcity;
No man will trust me of a penny;
And, also, my clothes are but bare.
Good sir! what say you therein?

_Peace._ I hold it punishment for thy sin:
Show me what is thy name!

_Imp. Pov._ I am named Impatient Poverty.

_Peace._ Forsooth! that may full well be:
Thou art so full of wrath and envy
In thee can grow no grace;
But if thou wilt forsake sensuality,
And be governed by reason, as I shall induce thee,
Thou shalt come to richesse within short space.

_Imp. Pov._ Show me that now, in this place,
And thereto I will agree.

_Peace._ Thou must love thy neighbour with charity;
A4, _v._
Do unto him no manner of disease;
Look how thou would he did to thee,
Do to him no worse, in no degree;
And then thou shalt Our Lord please.

_Imp. Pov._ Shall I love him that loveth not me?
Those that trouble and rebuke me shamefully?
That will I never do, while I live!

_Peace._ Thou must charitably all faults forgive;
Whatsoever any man to thee say
Let as thou heard it not; turn thine ear away;
Thou shalt please God if thou so do.

_Imp. Pov._ Nay, by God! there ho!
What is he, in all this place,
That will do as this man said?
Show me or I go!
If a man do you a great offence
Will ye keep your patience?
Nay, by God, not so!
I put case: I break your head--
Will ye suffer that in very deed?

_Peace._ To suffer, for Christ's sake, I shall have meed.

_Imp. Pov._ That shall I know, by God's bread!

_Peace._ Hold thy hand, and keep patience;
Think what Christ suffered for our offence!
He was beaten, scourged, and spit on with violence,
And suffered death for our sake.
Yet He took it patiently;
He forgave His death, and prayed for His enemies:
_Pater dimitte illis_, His saying was; truly
An example for us to take
To be meek in heart: _beati pauperes spiritu_
Shall Christ say full even;
_Et venite benediciti_, come my blessed children B1,_r._
To the kingdom of heaven!

_Imp. Pov._ Sir! I thank you for your ghostly instruction;
Unto your saying I can make no delayance;
I put me under your governation,
And, for m' ill-deeds, I take great repentance.

_Peace._ Then, to my saying take good remembrance:
Exercise yourself in virtue from this time hence;
And, unto peace, evermore be obedient;
Set before every sharp word a shield of sufferance;
And when time is of your concupiscence,
Then pacify it with benign resistance.

_Imp. Pov._ Sir, gramercy that ye have brought me to this estate;
By your advertisement I am willing to live in Christ's law;
Thereas I have offended Him, both early and late;
I served Him not for love, nor for awe;
Therefore, now right well I know
That poverty and misery that I my life inlead
It is but only punishment for my misdeed.

_Peace._ Now, or we any further proceed,
Hold this vesture, and put it on thee;
From henceforth thou shalt be called Prosperity.

_Prosperity._ I thank God, and you! I am in felicity.

_Peace._ Now, unto you I shall here shew
Of such things as ye shall eschew.
First, your soul look that ye keep clean;
Beware of misrule in any wise;
Play not at cailes, cards, nor dice;
Also from miswomen, for by them mischief may rise,
As it doth often; this daily is seen;
Haunt no taverns, nor sit not up late;
Let not hassard nor rioter with you be checkmate;
For then will Envy come, and make debate,
The which shall cause great trouble. B1,_v._
Be plentiful of such as God hath sent;
Unto the poor people give with good intent;
For every penny that so is spent
God will send thee double--
Take heed and do as I have said.

_Pros._ Sir! therewith I hold me well apaid;
As ye have commanded me, it shall be done.

_Peace_. Then let us depart for a season;
If ye need, I will be your protection.

[_Exeunt ambo._

[_Enter_ ABUNDANCE _and_ CONSCIENCE.]

_Abundance._ Joy and solace be in this hall!
Is there no man here that knoweth me at all?
I am beloved, both with great and small;
Abundance is my name.
I have all things as me list:
Meat, drink, and cloth of the best;
Gold and silver, full is every chest--
In faith! I will not layne.
I think ye know not my ways,
How I get goods, now-a-days,
By a proper mean.
Think you that I wold
Lend either silver or gold?
That day shall not be seen.
But I will lend them ware,
That shall be both bad and dear,
Not worth the money he shall pay;
And if he can no surety get,
Of my ware he getteth right nought
Without a good pledge he lay.
Then will I, for mine avail,
He shall make a bill of sale;
To me full bought and sold.
If the day be expired and past, B2,_r._
Then will I hold it fast;
He shall not have it though he would.
Thus, craft I have long used;
And some men do not yet refuse it:
This is be openly known.
What is he, in all this town,
That will lend without singular commodum?
Should I lend without a profit?
Nay, then I hold nought worth my wit.

_Conscience._ All this ye say is against Conscience.

_Abun._ Conscience, quod a? Nay, then shall we never thrive!
For I know him not alive
By conscience that cometh to substance.
I have all manner of marchandy;
I sell for long days to them that are needy,
And for the payment I have good surety,
Bound in statute marchant.
Because I may forbear,
I sell my ware so dear;
I make forty of twenty in half a year:
Other men do so as well as I.

_Cons._ Evensine very shame! marry, fie!
These goods are gotten untruly;
Many a man is undone thereby,
To take this ware so dear.

_Abun._ They seek to me both far and near;
Methink it is a good deed
To help a man at his need.
Yet have I other means
Whereby I get great gains:
I think ye know not that.

_Cons._ I? no, God wot!

_Abun._ No, ye are but an idiot! B2,_v._
I sold a man as much ware as came to forty pound,
And in an obligation I had him bound
To pay me at a certain day;
And when the bargain was made plain,
Mine own servant bought the same ware again
For the third penny it cost--ye wot what I mean!
But was not this a wise way?

_Cons._ Thou shalt repent it another day;
I charge thee, as far as I may,
Such false ways never begin.

_Abun._ Wherefore? this is no sin:
It is plain buying and selling;
Lawful it is for a man to win,
Else rich shall he never be.

_Cons._ Winning, to be had with due sufficiance,
In true buying and selling is not to discommend;
But for thy false usury thou art cursed in the sentence.
I pray God give thee grace for to amend.

_Abun._ Is every man accursed that doth buy and sell?
Then shall no man with merchandise mell:
How shall the world then be uphold?

_Cons._ Nay, sir, amiss ye do understand me:
All those that occupy false usury,
And transgresseth the laws of God by iniquity,
All such are accursed I you told;
As for buying and selling needs must be;
And God commandeth to lend to them that are needy,
So it be not to their injury
For lucre to them sold.

_Abun._ How should I sell? show me your ways!

_Cons._ Ye may not sell the dearer, for days;
If ye do, it is contrary to God's laws.

_Abun._ It is used in our country. B3,_r._

_Cons._ It is the more pity;
One such is able to destroy a city.
And God show not His great mercy,
All such are damned by His equity.

_Abun._ God forfend that should be!
How shall men do that be of great reputation,
Which kept their goods on this same fashion,
By usury, deceit, and by extortion?
I do so myself: wherefore should I lie?
_Cons._ Thou mayst be the more sorry.

_Abun._ It is so now--what remedy?

_Cons._ To make restitution.

_Abun._ What call ye restitution?

_Cons._ Restore such goods as ye have gotten
Wrongfully, by oppression.

_Abun._ Then shall I have little in my possession:
I will make God amends another way.
I will fast, and I will pray,
And I will give alms every day,
That I have done amiss, I am sorry, therefore.

_Cons._ This is not sufficient; thou must restore;
_Quia non dimittitur peccatum_
_Nisi restituatur ablatum:_
Ye must restore to them ye have offended unto.

_Abun._ Then I shall show you what I shall do!
I will put it in my testament
That my executors shall pay and content;
For while I live I will not have my good spent,
For if I do, I am but spilt.

_Cons._ Make amends, man, for thy guilt;
Rather spoil thy body than spoil thy soul.

_Abun._ Men of substance are ashamed to fall.

_Cons._ That causeth them to rest in their sin. B3,_v._

_Abun._ Yet ever with thy strongest part renneth the ball.

_Cons._ Yesterday thou canst not again call.
When thou art dead the gate of mercy is shut; you cannot come in.

_Abun._ Then let him stand without.

_Cons._ So of thy soul thou hast no doubt?

_Abun._ When thou seest my soul torn, set on a clout.
If falsehood, usury, and extortion should not rout,
Thousands in this realm should be put out;
The third part should not bide, by Saint Paul!

_Cons._ Yet often falsehood hath a great fall:
An example, by King Achab, which is soth,
Desired the vineyard of that poor man Naboth,
By counsel of Jezebel that king's wife.
Because he would not sell his possession,
Of two false witnesses he was peached of high treason;
And, through the mouth of a false quest, it rave;
Which caused the poor man to lose both land and life.
After that, of God's own bidding,
Came Helias the prophet to Achab the King;
Saying he should have evil ending.
And so he had; for by the way as he rode,
He fell and brake his neck where dogs lapped his blood.
This example, to all usurers and oppressors, as thinketh me,
Should cause them of God sore adread to be.

_Abun._ Sir, ye preach very holily, but our deeds be often contrary;
Ye be so acquainted with covetise and simony
That maketh us to take the same way.

_Cons._ So every evil disposed person doth say.
The frailty of man doth often offend;
Then call for grace, and shortly amend;
Therefore I counsel thee to pretend
To repent, and be sorry for thy misdeed.

_Abun._ Yet thus I will my life lead; B4,_r._
For of your saying I take no heed.
Ye will mucker up both gold and treasure;
Ye have riches without measure;
And of the flesh ye have your pleasure;
Ye can find no ways to amend yourself, I you insure.
Therefore rebuke not me for my sin ne good:
God be with you! ye shall not rule me.

_Cons._ O dull wit! plunged by ignorance,
Regarding nothing of ghostly instruction,
Setting more his mind on worldly substance
Than on the everlasting life that is to come!
God will strike when He list; ye know not how soon.
Therefore to every man this counsel I give:
To be sorry for your sin and do penance while ye live.

_Here cometh_ ENVY _running in, laughing,_ _and saith to_ CONSCIENCE.

_Envy._ Now, in faith! I would ye had be there.

_Cons._ Where should I have be?

_Envy._ A better sport ye never see.

_Cons._ Whereat laugh ye so fast?

_Envy._ He to go, and she after;
And, within a while, he caught her.
He took of her an incroke,
And chopt her on the heel with his foot;
Anon he whipt her on the back.
A, whoreson! quod she; playest thou me that?
And with her heel she gave him a spat,
That he was fain to go back again.

_Cons._ Good fellow, thou art to blame
Such words to have: no good thou can.

_Envy._ I said it to make you sport and game.
I cry you mercy! I was to blame:
I see ye are some virtuous man. B4,_v._

_Cons._ Shortly hence, that way thou came!
For here thou shalt not be.

_Envy._ Good Lord! some succour Thou send me,
That I be not outcast!

_Cons._ What is thy name? shortly, show me!

_Envy._ I dare not, sir, by Christ Jesu,
Except ye keep it privily.

_Cons._ Fear not; say on, heartily!

_Envy._ Sir, my right name is Charity.
Sometime beloved I was with the spiritualty;
But now covetise and simony doth them so avance
That good institution is turned to other ordinance;
And _bonum exemplum_ is put to such hindrance
That here I dare not appear.

_Cons._ Simony is not now in the spiritualty:
_Bonus pastor ovium_ thereto will see;
Therefore methink this is a lie:
In holy church simony cannot abide.

_Envy._ He goeth in a cloak, he cannot be espied;
And coveteous so craftily doth provide
That _bonus pastor ovium_ is blind, and will not see.

_Cons._ This that ye speak is upon Envy;
Therefore, I think ye be not Charity,
For Charity alway will say the best.

_Envy._ Amongst them can I have no rest.

_Cons._ How do ye with the temporalty?

_Envy._ There is pride, sloth, and lechery,
Which putteth me from that place.

_Cons._ Then be ye with the commonalty?

_Envy._ They despise me utterly.
One of them love not another;
The sister cannot love the brother;
Ne the child the father, ne mother: C1,_r._
There I dare not show my face.

_Cons._ This is to me a strange case:
What hear ye by Conscience?

_Envy._ Spiritual and temporal set against him, marvellously;
Merchants, men of law, and artificers of every degree;
They will hang him and they him espy.
Such exclamation goeth through this realm, round.

_Cons._ Why what fault have they found
With him, so to do?

_Envy._ His wit is nought, they say; also,
Every man putteth his will thereto,
To banish him for ever.

_Cons._ I know well it is not as ye say;
For I am Conscience, the high judge of the law.

_Envy._ Be ye Conscience? alas! that ever I this day saw!
If ye be taken, ye shall be hanged and draw;
For they have utterly put you down,
And set Covetise in your room,
Subtilty the scribe, his own cousin,
And Falsehood the Sumner, for the Court's promotion.

_Cons._ I marvel wherefore this was done.

_Envy._ When riches came before you, that much will pay--
There he had lived in sin many a day--
Ye should for money let him go quit away,
And put him to no shame.
Let poverty do penance for a little offence:
He is not able to promote you of twenty pence.
Then should ye have kept your residence,
And gotten yourself a good name.

_Cons._ Who so doeth they are to blame
In misordering them in such wise.

[_Envy._] Y-wys, cousin! I show you as now is the guise;
For by covetise much people doth uprise, C1,_v._
Which is against both you and me.

_Cons._ Charity, I pray you show what remedy
In this matter, for me, may be found.

_Envy._ Shortly, get you to wilderness, or some other region;
For they will hang you up at the Tyborn
If they find you in this place;
And I must depart also.

_Cons._ This is to me much sorrow and woe;
I will go into some far country.
Farewell, gentle cousin, Charity!

_Envy._ I shall pray for you: pray ye for me!
This is an heavy departing, [_Et plora._
I can in no wise forbear weeping.
Yet kiss me or ye go;
For sorrow my heart will break in two.
Is he gone? then have at laughing!
A, sir! is not this a jolly game
That Conscience doth not know my name?
Envy, in faith! I am the same:
What needeth me for to lie?
I hate Conscience, Peace, Love and Rest;
Debate and Strife, that love I best,
According to my property.
When a man loveth well his wife,
I bring them at debate and strife--
This is seen daily;
Also, between sister and brother;
There shall no neighbour love another
Where I dwell by.
And now I tell you plain,
Of one man I have disdain;
Prosperity men do him call.
He is nigh of my blood; C2,_r._
And he to have so much worldly good,
That grieveth me worst of all.

_Pros._ Jesus, that is both steadfast and stable,
Ever perseverant, and never mutable--
He save this congregation!

_Envy._ Welcome, Poverty! by Cock's passion!
How have ye done this many a day?

_Pros._ I thank God, as well as any may.
Ye call me wrong: my name is Prosperity.

_Envy._ Prosperity, with an evil hap!
How the devil fortunest that?
I knew thee Impatient Poverty.

_Pros._ Whatsoever I was, let that matter pass,
And take me as I am.

_Envy._ I cry you mercy! I was to blame
To call you by your old name;
Yet all these people think ye are the same
Impatient Poverty, as I said before.

_Pros._ Avaunt! I tell thee, I am gentleman bore;
If I hear thee report such words any more,
Thou shalt be punished like a knave.

_Envy._ A knave, quod a? by Cock's passion!
I am your own cousin,
And nigh of your consanguinity.

_Pros._ Thou and I are not of one affinity.

_Envy._ If I were a rich man ye would not say so by me;
Ye would then say, I were your next kinsman on live.

_Pros._ I say, go hence, and make no more strife;
I set not by such a poor haskard.

_Envy._ Sir, do not ye know my name?

_Pros._ I know thee not, by Saint Jame.

_Envy._ Charity, in faith! I am the same:
What needeth me for to lie? C2,_v._
I am your cousin, and so will I die;
Ye may be glad such a kinsman to have.

_Pros._ Shall we have more ado yet, thou knave?
I charge thee, never know me for your kin!

_Envy._ I pray you, one word or I go.

_Pros._ Say on, shortly; then have I do.

_Envy._ Sir, I have of gold three hundred pound,
In a bag fast i-bound,
At home locked in my chest.
I purpose to go to Jerusalem;
Ye shall keep it till I come again:
I put you best in trust.

_Pros._ Cousin, I would fain do the best
Because ye are near of my blood.

_Envy._ What! are ye now in that mood?
Now I am your kinsman, because of my good;
Before of me he had disdain!

_Pros._ As for that, I was to blame;
I knew you not--be not angry.
Ye are welcome to me, cousin Charity.

_Envy._ Then all these matters let be!
I come hither with you to dwell;
Ye must have more servants, I do you tell,
Such as were necessary for your person.

_Pros._ I am content after your provision;
In every thing let it be done
As ye think most expedient.

_Envy._ Sir, I shall do mine intent
To get you servants mo.

_Pros._ I pray you heartily it may be so:
A little season I will from you go,
To solace me with some recreation. [_Exit._

_Envy._ He that sitteth above the moon C3,_r._
Evermore be in your protection!
Aha! here is sport for a lord,
That Prosperity and I be well at accord!
I shall bring his thrift under the board,
I trust, within short space.
For it grieveth my heart right sore
He hath so much treasure in store,
And I have never the more.
I must find some proper shift
That from his good he may be lift;
To bring him to Misrule I hold it best,
For he can soon bring it to pass.

_Here_ MISRULE _singeth, without coming in._

How! what rutterkin have we here?
I would he were our subchanter
Because he can so well sing. [_Enter_ MISRULE.

_Misrule._ _Venir avecque vous gentyl compaygnon_
_Faictes bone chere pour lamour de sainct John_
_Mon coeur iocund is set on a merry pin_--
By my troth! I am disposed to revelling.

_Envy._ So methinketh, by your coming in.
What, Misrule! where hast thou been many years?

_Mis._ By my troth, even amongst my peers.
I came now straight from the stews,
From little pretty Jone--
Lord! that she is a pretty one!

_Envy._ Hold thy peace; let that alone.
Hark! a word or twain to thee:
I dwell now with Prosperity,
Which hath much worldly treasure;
If thou can contrive, in thy thought,
How that he may be brought to nought,
In all this world I desire no more.

_Mis._ Tush! take no thought therefore; C3,_v._
I can provide for that in the best wise.

_Envy._ Then let me hear thy device.

_Mis._ I will bring him to clash, cards, and dice,
And to proper trulls, that be wanton and nice,
Which will not be kept with a small price.
How thinkest thou? will not this do well?

_Envy._ Yes; but hearken in counsel;
Thou must change thy name.

_Mis._ I will say I hight Mirth.

_Envy._ And I will say the same.
Peace! whist! I see him come. [_Enter_ PROSPERITY.

_Pros._ God save all this honourable company.

_Envy._ Sir, you be welcome, by our blessed lady!
I have thought for you full long.
Here is a gentleman; I pray you, for my sake,
Say he is welcome, and into your service him take,
For great courtesy he can.

_Pros._ Sir, you be welcome; give me your hand,
And show me what is your name.

_Mis._ Sir, my name is Mirth;
Beloved with lords and ladies of birth,
At every triumph I am them with:
They can me not once forbear.

_Envy._ And ye had sought this thousand year
Such another ye shall not find;
Wherefore I counsel you, in my mind,
Let him dwell with you for one year.