Chapter XI: Part 11

In the reign of caliph Haroun Alraschid, there lived at Bagdad a very rich merchant, who, having married a woman pretty well in years, had but one son, whom he named Abon Hassan, and educated with great restraint. When this son was thirty years old, the merchant died, and left him his sole heir, and master of great riches, which his father had amassed together by his industry, frugality, and great application to business.

Abon Hassan, whose views and inclinations were very much different from those of his father, was resolved to make another use of his wealth; for, as his father had never allowed him any money but what was just necessary for subsistence, and he had always envied those young persons of his age who wanted none, and who debarred themselves from none of those pleasures to which youth are too much addicted, he resolved, in his turn, to signalize himself by extravagances proportionable to his fortune. To this end, he divided his riches in two parts; with one half he bought houses in town and land in the country, with a promise to himself never to touch the income of his estate, which was considerable enough to live upon very handsomely, but lay it all by; with the other half, which he kept by him in ready money, he designed to make himself amends for the time he had lost in the severe restraint with which his father had always kept him.

With this intent, Abon Hassan associated himself in a few days with people of his age and condition, and thought of nothing more than how to spend their time agreeably. Every day he gave them splendid entertainments, at which the most exquisite and delicate wines flowed in plenty, while concerts of the best vocal and instrumental music heightened their pleasures; and then this young band of debauchees, with glasses in their hands, sang and joined with the music; and these feasts generally ended with balls at night, to which the best dancers in Bagdad, of both sexes, were invited. These entertainments, renewed every day, were so expensive to Abon Hassan, that he could not support the extravagance above one year; and, in short, the great sum which he had consecrated to this prodigality and the year ended together. As soon as he left off keeping this table, his friends forsook him: whenever they saw him, they avoided him; and if by chance he met any of them, and would stop them, they always excused themselves on some pretence or other.

Abon Hassan, touched more to the quick at this strange behaviour of his friends, who had forsaken him so basely and ungratefully, after all the protestations of friendship they had made him, and their inviolable attachment to his service, than all the money he had foolishly squandered away, went, melancholy and thoughtful, into his mother’s apartment, and sat down on a sofa a good distance from her. What is the matter with you, son? said his mother, reading his grief in his countenance: why are you so altered, so dejected, and so much different from yourself? You could not certainly be more concerned if you had lost all you had in the world. I know you have lived very profusely, and believe all your money is spent; yet you have a good estate; and the reason I did not so very much oppose your irregular way of living, was, I knew the wise precaution you had taken to preserve half your substance; therefore I do not see why you should plunge yourself into this deep melancholy.

At these words, Abon Hassan melted into tears, and in the midst of his sighs cried out, Ah! mother, I see at last, by sad experience, how insupportable poverty is: I am sensible that it deprives us of joy, as much as the setting sun does of light. In poverty, we have no commendations and fine things said unto us: we endeavour to conceal all our actions, and spend our nights in tears and sorrow. In short, a poor man is looked upon, both by friends and relations, as a stranger. You know, mother, how I have used my friends for this year past: I have entertained them with all imaginable generosity, till I have spent all my money; and now they have left me, when I can treat them no longer. For my estate, I thank Heaven for having given me the grace to keep the oath I have made not to enter upon that; and now I shall know how to make a good use of it. But first, I will try the gratitude of friends, who deserve not that I should call them so: I will go to them one after another, and when I have represented to them what I have done for their sakes, I will ask them to make me up a sum of money among them, to relieve me out of the miserable condition I am reduced to: these are the steps I intend to take to try their gratitude.

I do not pretend, son, said Abon Hassan’s mother, to dissuade you from executing your design; but I can tell you before-hand, that you have no ground for any hope: believe me, you will find no relief, but from the estate you have reserved. I see you do not, but will soon know those people, whom we generally call friends; and I wish to Heaven you may, in the manner I desire; that is to say, for your own good. Mother, replied Abon Hassan, I am persuaded of the truth of what you say; but shall be certain of a fact which concerns me so nearly, when I shall inform myself better of their baseness. Upon this, Abon Hassan went immediately to his friends, whom he found at home, represented to them the great need he was in, and begged of them to loose their purse-strings to assist him. He promised to give every one bonds to pay them the money they lent him, as soon as his affairs were made up; giving them to understand, at the same time, that it was, in a great measure, upon their accounts that he was undone; and forgetting not to allure them with the hopes of being once again entertained in the same manner as before.

Not one of his bottle companions was affected with the arguments which the afflicted Abon Hassan made use of to persuade them; and he had the mortification to find, that many of them told him plainly they scarce knew him.

He returned home again full of grief and rage; and, going into his mother’s apartment, said, Ah! madam, you was in the right of it; instead of friends, I have found none but ungrateful, perfidious wretches, who deserve not my friendship; whom I renounce, and promise never to see them more. He resolved to be as good as his word; and, to that end, took all possible precautions to avoid falling into the same inconvenience, taking an oath never to give an inhabitant of Bagdad any entertainment again. Afterwards he opened a strong chest, in which he had put the rents he had received from his estate, and resolved to take every day a sum that was sufficient to defray the expense of a single person to sup with him; who, according to the oath he had taken, must be a stranger that came into Bagdad the same day, and must take his leave of him the next morning.

According to this project, Abon Hassan took care every morning to provide whatever he designed for night, and towards the close of the evening went and sat on Bagdad bridge; and, as soon as ever he saw a stranger, of whatever condition he was, he accosted him civilly, and invited him to sup and lodge with him that night; and, after having informed him of the law he had imposed upon himself, took him home with him. The repast with which Abon Hassan regaled his guests was not costly, but always plain and neat, with plenty of good wine, and generally lasted till the night was pretty well advanced; when, instead of entertaining his guest with the affairs of state, his family or business, as is too frequent, he affected to talk of indifferent subjects, and was naturally of so gay and pleasant a temper, that he could give the most agreeable turns in conversation, and make the most reserved and melancholy persons merry. When he saw his guest again the next morning, he always said to him, God preserve you from all sorrow wherever you go: when I invited you yesterday to come and sup with me, I informed you of the law I have made; therefore do not take it ill if I tell you that we must never see one another again, nor drink together, for reasons best known to myself: so God conduct you.

Abon Hassan was very exact in the observation of this oath, and never looked upon, or spoke to, any stranger he had once entertained, wherever he met them; and had lived for a long time after this manner, when one afternoon, a little before sunset, as he was sitting upon the bridge, according to custom, the caliph Haroun Alraschid came by so disguised that nobody could know him: for that monarch, though his chief ministers and officers of justice acquitted themselves of their duty very punctually, yet would take notice of every thing himself; and, to that purpose, often disguised himself, and walked through the city and suburbs of Bagdad; and that day was dressed like a merchant of Moussel, who had but just disembarked, and was followed by a slave.

As the caliph had in his disguise a grave and awful air, Abon Hassan, who thought him to be a Moussel merchant, went directly to him; and, after having saluted him with a smiling countenance, and kissed his hand, said, Sir, I congratulate you on your happy arrival, and beg of you to do me the honour to go and sup with me, and repose yourself at my home this night, after the fatigue of your voyage; and, to oblige him not to deny him that favour, he told him his custom of entertaining the first stranger he met with. The caliph found something so odd and singular in Abon Hassan’s taste, that he was very desirous to know the bottom, without quitting the character of a merchant; and told him, that he could not better answer that great civility, which he did not expect at his arrival at Bagdad, than by accepting the obliging offer that he made him.

Abon Hassan, who knew not that the guest which fortune presented to him was so very much above him, treated him as his equal, carried him home, and led him into a room very neatly furnished, where he set him on a sofa, at the upper end of a table that was ready laid for supper, which was soon after sent up by Abon Hassan’s mother, who took upon herself the care of the kitchen, and consisted of three dishes. The first was a capon and four large pullets, which were set in the middle; and the second and third, placed on each side, were a fat roasted goose and boiled pigeons, all dressed very neatly, and with proper sauces.

Abon Hassan sat down over against his guest, and he and the caliph began to eat heartily of what they liked best, without speaking or drinking, according to the custom of the country. When they had done eating, the caliph’s slave brought them water to wash their hands; and, in the mean time, Abon Hassan’s mother sent up a dessert of all sorts of dried sweetmeats, and all the fruits then in season, as grapes, peaches, apples, pears, &c. As soon as it grew dark, wax-candles were lighted, and Abon Hassan, after charging his mother to take care of the caliph’s slave, brought bottles and glasses.

Then Abon Hassan, sitting down with the pretended Moussel merchant again, filled out a glass of wine, before he touched the dessert; and holding it out in his hand, said to the caliph, You know, sir, that the cock never drinks before he calls to his hens to come and drink with him; so I invite you to follow my example. I do not know what you may think; for my part, I cannot reckon him a wise man who does not love wine: come, let us leave those sort of people to their dull melancholy humours, and seek for mirth, which is only to be found in a brimmer.

While Abon Hassan was drinking, the caliph, taking the glass that was set by him, said, Now I like you, you are an honest fellow; I am mightily taken with your pleasant temper, and expect you should fill me as much. Abon Hassan, as soon as he had drunk, filled the caliph’s glass, and giving it to him, Here, sir, said he, taste this wine; I will warrant it good. I am very well persuaded, replied the caliph, laughing, that you know how to make choice of the best. O, replied Abon Hassan, while the caliph was taking off his glass, one may easily find that you know what good living is, and have seen the world. Alas! how happy is my house in your presence, and how overjoyed am I for meeting with a man of so much merit.

The caliph, who was naturally a merry man, was mightily diverted with these sallies of Abon Hassan, and took great pleasure in promoting drinking, often asking for wine, thinking that when that began to work, he might penetrate so far into his discourse as to satisfy his curiosity. Therefore, to enter into conversation, he asked him his name, his business, and how he spent his life. My name, sir, replied he, is Abon Hassan: my father, whom I buried, was a merchant of Bagdad; and though he was not the richest, yet he lived very well. When he died, he left me enough in my station to live free from ambition; but as he always kept a very strict hand over me in his life-time, I was willing, when he was gone, to make up the time I thought I had lost.

But notwithstanding, continued Abon Hassan, in this I was more prudent than most young people are, who give themselves unto debauchery without any thought, and who reduce themselves to the utmost poverty, and are forced to do penance all the rest of their lives after. Now I, to avoid this misfortune, divided what I had left me in two parts, and with one bought an estate, with a resolution not to finger my rents at that time; and kept the other in ready money to pursue my extravagances with. I associated myself with young people of my age, and with my ready money, which I spent profusely, treated them every day; and, in short, spared for no sort of pleasure. But these feastings did not last long; for by that time the year was out, I had got to the bottom of my cash, and then all my friends vanished. I made a visit to every one of them, and represented to them the miserable condition I was in, but none of them would relieve me. Upon this, I renounced their friendship, and retrenched so far as to live within the compass of my income, and obliged myself to keep company with none but the first stranger I could meet with, coming that day into Bagdad, and to entertain him but one night. I have told you the rest before; and I thank my good fortune this day for meeting with a stranger of so much worth.

The caliph was very well satisfied with this information, and said to Abon Hassan, I cannot enough commend the measures you have taken, and the prudence with which you have acted, by forsaking your debauchery; a conduct rarely to be met with in young persons; and I esteem you the more for being so just to yourself as you have been. It was a slippery path you trode in; and I cannot enough admire, how, after having seen the end of your ready money, you had so great a command over yourself not to enter upon your estate. In short, I must own I envy your happiness: you are the only happy man in the world, to enjoy every day the company of some one honest man, with whom you can discourse freely and agreeably, and to whom you give an opportunity to declare, wherever he goes, how handsomely he was received by you. But we talk too long without drinking; come drink, and pour out to me.

In this manner the caliph and Abon Hassan entertained each other, drinking and talking of indifferent matters till the night was pretty far advanced; when the caliph, pretending to be fatigued after his voyage, told his host he stood in need of a little rest; but, added he, that I may not deprive you of yours, before we part, because to-morrow I may be gone before you are stirring, I would be glad to show you how sensible I am of your civility, and the kind and obliging hospitality you have shown me. The only thing that troubles me is, that I know not which way to pay my acknowledgment; therefore I beg of you to let me understand how I may, and you shall see I will not be ungrateful; for certainly you must have some business in which you may be served, or must want something which you could wish for. Speak freely, and declare your mind; for, though I am but a merchant, it may be in mine or some friend’s power to oblige you.

To these offers of the caliph, Abon Hassan, taking him still for a Moussel merchant, replied, I am very well persuaded, good sir, that it is not out of a compliment that you make me these generous tenders; but, upon the word of an honest man, I have nothing that troubles me, no business nor desires, and want not any thing. I have not the least ambition, as I told you before, but am very well satisfied with my condition. Therefore, I can only thank you for your obliging proffers, and the honour you have done me to come and take a slight repast with me. Yet I must tell you, pursued Abon Hassan, there is one thing gives me great uneasiness. You know the town of Bagdad is divided into several parts and divisions, to each of which there belongs a mosque, and an iman to read prayers at certain hours. The iman of the division I live in is an old man, of an austere countenance, and the greatest hypocrite in the world. This man, and four old men of this neighbourhood, who are people of the same stamp, meet every day at the iman’s house; there they vent their slander, calumny, and malice against me and the whole division, to the disturbance of the public peace of the neighbourhood, and the promotion of dissension. Some they threaten, others they rail against; and, in short, would be lords paramount, and have every one govern himself according to their caprice; and, at the same time, know not how to govern themselves. Indeed, I would have them meddle with nothing but their Alcoran, and let the world live quietly.

Well, I suppose, said the caliph, you would willingly put a stop to this disorder. You have guessed it, answered Abon Hassan; and the only thing I should desire, would be to be caliph only for one day, in the stead of our sovereign lord and master Haroun Alraschid, the commander of the faithful. What would you do if you were? said the caliph. I would make them examples, answered Abon Hassan, to the satisfaction of all honest men. I would punish the four old men with each a hundred bastinadoes on the soles of their feet, and the iman with four hundred, to learn them not to disturb and abuse their neighbours any more.

The caliph was extremely well pleased with this thought of Abon Hassan’s; and, as he was a prince who loved adventures, he fancied to make this a very singular one. Indeed, said he, I approve very much of your wish, which I see proceeds from an upright mind, that cannot bear to see the malice of wicked people go unpunished. I could like to see it take effect, and that is not so impossible a thing as you imagine. I am persuaded that the caliph would willingly put his authority for twenty-four hours into your hands, if he knew your good intentions, and the just use you would make of it. I see, said Abon Hassan, you laugh at my foolish fancy; and the caliph himself would laugh at my extravagance too if he knew it; but yet it would be a means of informing him of the iman’s and his companions’ behaviour, and he might chastise them.

Heaven forbid, replied the caliph, that I, who have been so handsomely entertained by you, should laugh at you; neither do I believe, as much a stranger as I am, that the caliph would be displeased. But let us lay this discourse aside; it is almost midnight, and time to go to bed. With all my heart, said Abon Hassan, I would not be any hindrance to your going to rest; but there is still some wine in the bottle, and, if you please, we will drink it off first. The only thing that I have to recommend to you is, that, when you go out in the morning, if I am not up, you will give yourself the trouble of shutting the door after you, which the caliph promised; and while Abon Hassan was talking, took the bottle and two glasses, and filled his own first, saying, Here is a cup of thanks to you; and then filling the other, put artfully a little powder, which he had about him, into it, and giving it to Abon Hassan, said, you have taken the pains to fill for me all this night, and it is the least I can do to save you the trouble once; come, drink to our good repose.

Abon Hassan took the glass, and, to show his guest with how much pleasure he received the honour he did him, whipped it off at once; but had scarcely set the glass upon the table before the powder began to work, and he fell into so sound a sleep, that his head knocked against his knees. The caliph ordered the slave that he had brought along with him, and who came again into the room as soon as he had supped, to take him upon his back, and follow him; but to be sure to observe the house, that he might know it again when he should bring him back; and in this manner the caliph, followed by the slave with Abon Hassan on his back, went out of the house, but without shutting the door after him, as Abon Hassan desired, and went directly to his palace, and, by a backdoor, into his own apartment, where all the officers of his apartment were waiting for him, whom he ordered to undress him, and put him in his bed, which they immediately performed.

Then the caliph sent for all the officers and ladies of the palace, and said to them, I would have all those whose business it is to attend my levee wait to-morrow morning upon this man who lies in my bed, and pay the same respect to him as to myself, and obey him in whatever he commands; let him be refused in nothing that he asks for, and be spoken to and answered in every thing he says or does, as if he was the commander of the faithful. In short, I expect you to look upon him as the true caliph, and neglect not the least circumstance.

The officers and ladies presently understood that the caliph had a mind to divert himself, and made low bows to show their obedience, and then withdrew, every one full of the part they were to act.

Then he sent for the grand vizier: Giafar, said he, I have sent for you to instruct you, and to prevent your being surprised to-morrow when you come to an audience, to see this man, that is laid here in my bed, seated on my throne in my royal robes: accost him with the same reverence and respect you pay to myself; observe, and punctually execute, whatever he bids you do, the same as if I commanded you, even if his liberality should extend so far as to empty all the coffers in my treasury; and remember to acquaint all my emirs and huissirs, all the officers without the palace, to pay him the same honour at audience as the commander of the believers himself; and to carry on the matter so well, that he might not perceive the least thing that may interrupt this joke which I am diverting myself with.

Afterwards the grand vizier retired, and the caliph went to bed in another apartment; and ordered Mesrour, the chief of his eunuchs, to take care to manage things so well, that he might see how Abon Hassan would use the power and authority of the caliph for the time he desired to have it; and, above all, charged him to awake him at the usual hour, before he awakened Abon Hassan, because he had a mind to be present when he rose.

Mesrour failed not to do as the caliph had commanded; and, as soon as the caliph went into the room where Abon Hassan lay, he placed himself in a little closet, from whence he could see all that passed. All the officers and ladies who were to attend Abon Hassan’s levee, took their posts according to their rank, with great silence, and discharged themselves as punctually of their offices as if the caliph had been to rise.

As it was just day-break, and time to rise to morning prayer before sun-rise, the officer that stood nearest to the head of the bed, put a sponge steeped in vinegar to Abon Hassan’s nose; who, presently turning his head about without opening his eyes, sneezed heartily, which was generally the effect of the caliph’s powder, and which lasted longer or shorter in proportion to the dose. Then opening his eyes, he found himself, by the small light that appeared, in a stately room magnificently furnished, the ceiling of which was finely painted, and the floor covered with a rich silk tapestry, and surrounded by a great many young and handsome ladies, with all sorts of instruments of music in their hands, and black eunuchs richly clothed, all standing with great modesty and respect. After casting his eyes on the quilt of the bed, he perceived it was cloth of gold, richly embossed with pearls and diamonds; and that there was laid by the bed a habit of the same stuff and trimmings, with a caliph’s turban.

At the sight of these glittering objects, Abon Hassan was in the most inexpressible confusion and amazement, and looked upon all he saw as a dream. So, said he to himself, I am caliph; but, added he a little after, it is only a dream, the effect of the wish I entertained my guest with last night; and then he turned himself about to sleep again. At the same time, the eunuch said very respectfully, Commander of the Faithful, it is time for your majesty to rise to prayers; the morning begins to advance.

These words very much surprised Abon Hassan. Am I awake, or do I sleep? said he to himself. Ah! certainly I am asleep! continued he, keeping his eyes shut; there is no reason to doubt of it.

Immediately the eunuch, who saw he had no inclination to get up, and that he gave him no answer, said again, Your majesty, I hope, will not be angry, if I tell you once more that it is time to rise to morning prayer, which you never neglect, and the sun is just upon rising. I am mistaken, said Abon Hassan presently; I am not asleep, but awake: for those that sleep do not hear, and I hear very distinctly. Then opening his eyes, he saw plainly by broad daylight, what appeared but uncertain before, and rising upon his breech, with a smiling countenance, like a man overjoyed at a sudden promotion, pleased the caliph, who penetrated into the bottom of his thoughts.

Then the ladies of the palace prostrated themselves with their faces to the ground before Abon Hassan, and those who had the instruments of music in their hands, wished him a good-morrow, by a concert of soft flutes, hautboys, theorboes, and other harmonious instruments, with which he was ravished, and was in such an ecstasy, that he knew not himself, nor where he was; but, recovering at last his first idea, he doubted whether what he saw was a dream or matter of fact. He clapped his hands before his eyes, and lowering his head, said to himself, What means all this? where am I? and whom does this palace belong to? What can these eunuchs, officers, beautiful ladies, and musicians signify? How is it possible for me to distinguish whether I am in my right senses or in a dream? When he took his hands from his eyes, the sun shone full in at the chamber-window; and at that instant, Mesrour, the chief of the eunuchs, came in, prostrated himself before Abon Hassan, and said, Commander of the Faithful, your majesty will excuse me for representing to you, that you used not to lie so long, and that the time of prayer is over; I am afraid your majesty has had an ill night, and has been indisposed, and may not be able to ascend your throne in council as usual: all your generals, governors, and other officers of state, wait your presence in the council-hall.

At this discourse of Mesrour’s, Abon Hassan was verily persuaded that he was neither asleep nor in a dream; but, at the same time, was very much embarrassed and confused. At last, looking earnestly at Mesrour, he said to him in a serious tone, Who is it you speak to, and call the commander of the faithful? For my part, I do not know you, and you mistake me for somebody else.

Any person but Mesrour would have been dashed at these questions of Abon Hassan’s; but he had been so well instructed by the caliph, that he played his part to a wonder. My worthy lord and master, said he, your majesty only speaks thus to try me: is not your majesty the commander of the faithful, monarch of the world, and the prophet’s vicar on earth? Mesrour, your slave, has not forgot you, after so many years that he has had the honour and happiness to serve and pay his respects to your majesty; and should think himself the most unhappy of all men if he has incurred your displeasure, and begs of you most humbly to remove his fears; but is apt to believe that you have been disturbed by some troublesome dream last night.

Abon Hassan burst out a-laughing at these words of Mesrour’s, and fell backwards upon the bolster, which pleased the caliph so much, that he would have laughed as loud himself, if he had not been afraid of putting a stop to the pleasant scene he promised himself.

Abon Hassan, when he had tired himself with laughing, sat up again on his breech, and, speaking to a little black eunuch that stood by him, said, Hark ye, tell me who I am. Sir, answered the little boy modestly, your majesty is the commander of the believers, and God’s vicar on earth. You are a liar, sooty face, said Abon Hassan. Then he called the lady that stood the nearest to him: Come hither, fair one, said he, holding out his hand, bite the end of my finger, that I may feel whether I am asleep or awake.

The lady, who knew the caliph saw all that passed, was overjoyed to show how capable she was of diverting him, and went with a grave countenance, and putting his finger between her teeth, she bit so hard that he cried out; and, snatching his hand quickly back again, said, I find I am awake, and not asleep. But by what miracle am I become caliph in a night’s time? This is certainly the most strange and surprising thing in the world! Then addressing himself to the same lady, he said, I conjure you, for Heaven’s sake, not to hide the truth from me; am I really the commander of the faithful? It is so true, answered the lady, that we, who are your slaves, are amazed to find that you will not believe yourself to be so. Ah! you are a deceiver, replied Abon Hassan; I know very well who I am.

As the chief of the eunuchs perceived that Abon Hassan had a mind to rise, he lent him his hand, and helped him to get out of bed. No sooner were his feet set on the floor, than the chamber rang again with repeated acclamations of the officers and ladies, who cried out, God preserve your majesty, and give you a good day. O Heaven! cried Abon Hassan, what a strange thing is this! Last night I was Abon Hassan, and this morning I am the commander of the believers! I cannot comprehend this sudden and surprising change. Presently some of the officers began to dress him; and when they had done, Mesrour led him through all the eunuchs and ladies, who were ranged on both sides quite to the council-chamber door, which was opened by one of the huissirs. Mesrour walked before him to the foot of the throne, where he stopped, and putting one hand under one arm, while another officer did the same by the other, they helped him to ascend the throne.

The caliph, in the mean time, came out of the closet where he was hid, and went into another which looked into the council-hall, from whence he could hear all that passed, and see Abon Hassan, who filled his throne with all the gravity imaginable.

As soon as Abon Hassan had seated himself, the grand vizier Giafar prostrated himself at the foot of the throne, and addressing himself to him, said, God shower down blessings on your majesty in this life, receive you into his paradise in the other world, and confound your enemies!

Abon Hassan, after all that had happened that morning, and these words of the grand vizier, never doubted but he was caliph, as he wished to be; and so, without examining any farther, how, or by what adventure or sudden change of fortune, he immediately began to exercise his power, and looking very gravely upon the vizier, asked him what he had to say. Commander of the Faithful, replied the grand vizier, the emirs, viziers, and other officers who are of your majesty’s council, wait at the door, until your majesty give them leave to come in, and pay their usual respects to you. Abon Hassan presently bade that the door be opened, and the grand vizier gave the sign to the huissir that waited for it.

When the door was opened, the viziers, emirs, and principal officers of the court, all dressed magnificently in their habits of ceremony, went in their order to the foot of the throne, and paid their respects to Abon Hassan; and bowing their heads down to the carpet, kneeling on one knee, saluted him with the title of Commander of the Faithful, according to the instruction of the grand vizier, and afterwards took their seats.

When this ceremony was over, the grand vizier, standing before the throne, began with papers in his hand to make his report of affairs, which at that time were of very little consequence. Nevertheless, Abon Hassan acquitted himself in his great post without the least embarrassment; and gave judgment so well in all matters, that the caliph could not help wondering at his address. But before the grand vizier had finished his report, Abon Hassan called the judge of the police, whom he knew by sight, as he sat in his place: Hold, said he to the grand vizier, I have something to order the judge of the police. The judge of the police perceiving that Abon Hassan looked at him, and hearing his name mentioned, arose from his seat, and went gravely to the foot of the throne, where he prostrated himself with his face to the ground. Judge of the police, said Abon Hassan, go immediately to such a division, and seize the iman of the mosque, and four old men, (whom he described,) and give each of the old men a hundred bastinadoes with a bull’s pizzle, and the iman four hundred: after that, mount them all five on camels, with their faces to the tails; and lead them through the whole city, with a crier before them, who shall proclaim, This is the punishment of all those who trouble their heads with other people’s affairs, and make it their business to create disturbances and misunderstandings in families in their neighbourhood. My intention is also, that you enjoin them to leave that division, and never to set a foot more in it; and while your lieutenant is conducting them through the town, return, and give me an account of the execution of my orders. The judge of the police laid his hand upon his head, to show his obedience, and, prostrating himself a second time, went away.

The caliph was extremely well pleased at this order; and perceived by Abon Hassan’s strictness and expedition, that he was resolved not to lose the opportunity of punishing the iman and the other four old hypocrites. In the mean time, the grand vizier went on with his report, and had just done when the judge of the police came back from executing his commission. He went to the throne with the usual ceremony, and said, Commander of the Faithful, I found the iman and his four companions; and for a proof that I have punctually obeyed your commands, I have brought an instrument signed by the principal inhabitants of that division: at the same time, he pulled out a paper, and presented it to the pretended caliph.

Abon Hassan took the paper, and reading over the names of the witnesses, who were all people that he knew very well, said to the judge of the police, It is very well; return to your seat. These old hypocrites, said he to himself, with a great deal of satisfaction in his looks, who must be censuring my actions, and finding fault with my entertaining honest people, deserved this punishment. The caliph all the time penetrated into his thoughts, and conceived a sensible joy in this expedition.

Then Abon Hassan, addressing himself afterwards to the grand vizier, said, Go to the high treasurer for a purse of a thousand pieces of gold, and carry it to the mother of Abon Hassan, who is known by the name of the Debauchee; she lives in the same division into which I sent the judge of the police: return immediately.

The grand vizier, after laying his hand upon his head, and prostrating himself before the throne, went to the high treasurer, who gave him the money, which he ordered a slave to take, and follow him to Abon Hassan’s mother, to whom he gave it, saying only, The caliph makes you this present. She received it with the greatest surprise imaginable, and could not tell what to think of this liberality of the caliph.

During the grand vizier’s absence, the judge of the police acted for him, in making the report, which lasted till the vizier returned. As soon as he came into the council-chamber, and had assured Abon Hassan he had done as he had bade him, Mesrour, the chief of the eunuchs, who returned to the palace after he had conducted Abon Hassan to the council, came again, and made a sign to the viziers, emirs, and other officers, that the council was done, and that they might all retire; which they all did, by making the same reverence and obedience as when they entered.

Abon Hassan sat not long after them, but came down from the throne, supported in the same manner as he went up to it, by Mesrour and another eunuch, who attended him back again to the apartment from whence he came, preceded all the way by the grand vizier: but before he reached the apartment, he was taken with a pressing occasion; upon which they showed him into a convenient closet, paved with white marble; and while Abon Hassan was there, the grand vizier went to acquaint the caliph with what had passed, though he had been an eye-witness all the time.

When Abon Hassan came out of the closet, Mesrour went before him, to show him the way into an inner apartment, where there was a table spread. Several eunuchs ran before, to tell the musicians that the sham caliph was coming, who immediately began a concert of vocal and instrumental music, with which Abon Hassan was so charmed and transported, that he could not tell what to think at all he saw and heard. If this is a dream, said he, it is a long one: but certainly, continued he, it is no dream; for I can see and feel, walk, hear, and argue reasonably. Whatever it is, I trust in God: yet I cannot believe but I am the commander of the faithful; for no other person could live in this splendour. The honour and respect that is given me, and the obedience paid to my commands, are sufficient proofs.

In short, Abon Hassan took it for granted that he was caliph, and the commander of the faithful; and was fully convinced of it, when he entered that magnificent and spacious hall, which was finely painted. Seven bands of musicians were placed round the hall, and as many gold branches hung down from the ceiling, which was painted with blue and gold. In the middle of the hall there was spread a table, which was served up with all manner of rarities, in massy gold plates and dishes; and seven young beautiful ladies, dressed in the richest habits, of the most lively colours, stood round this table, each with a fan in her hand, to fan Abon Hassan when at dinner.

If ever mortal was charmed, Abon Hassan was: at every step he took in that stately hall, he could not help stopping to contemplate on all the wonders that regaled his eyes, and turned his head first on one side and then again on the other, which made the caliph almost split his sides with laughing. At last he went and sat down at the table, and presently all the ladies that stood about it began to fan him. He looked first at one and then at another, and admired the grace with which they acquitted themselves; and told them, with a smile, that he believed one fan was enough to cool him, and would have six of the ladies sit at table with him, three on his right hand and three on his left; that, as the table was round, which way soever he turned, his eyes might be saluted with agreeable objects.

The six ladies obeyed; and Abon Hassan taking notice that, out of respect, they did not eat, helped them himself, and invited them to eat in the most pressing and obliging terms. Afterwards, he asked their names; which they told him were, White neck, Coral Lips, Fair Face, Sun Shine, Heart’s Delight, Sweet Looks, and she who fanned him was Sugar Cane. The many soft things he said upon their names, showed him to be a man of a sprightly wit, and very much increased the esteem which the caliph (who saw every thing) had for him.

When the ladies saw that Abon Hassan had done eating, one of them said to the eunuch who waited, the commander of the faithful will go into the next hall to the desert: bring some water. Upon which they all rose from the table, and taking from the eunuchs, one a gold basin, another an ewer, and a third a towel, kneeled down before Abon Hassan, and presented them to him to wash his hands; who, as soon as he had done, got up, and after an eunuch had opened the door, went, preceded by Mesrour, who never left him, into another hall, as large as the former, adorned with the best paintings, gold vessels, silk tapestry, and other rich furniture. There seven other bands of music began a new concert, as soon as Abon Hassan appeared. In this hall there were seven gold branches, and a table full of dried sweetmeats, and the most choice and exquisite fruits, raised in pyramids, in seven gold basins, and seven ladies, more beautiful than the others, standing round it, with fans in their hands.

These new objects put Abon Hassan into a greater admiration than ever; who, after he had made a full stop, and given the most sensible marks of his surprise and astonishment, went directly to the table; where, sitting down, he gazed a considerable time at the seven ladies, with an embarrassment that plainly showed he knew not which to give the preference to. At last he ordered them all to sit and eat with him, telling them that it was not so hot but he could spare them that trouble.

When the ladies were all placed about him, the first thing he did was to ask their names, which were different from the other seven, and expressed some perfection of either mind or body, which distinguished them from one another; and upon which he took an opportunity, when he presented them with fruit, &c. to say somewhat that was handsome. Take this fig, said he to Chain of Hearts, who sat on his right hand, and render the fetters with which you loaded me at first sight more supportable; and so went on to the rest. By these ways, Abon Hassan pleased and diverted the caliph more and more, who was resolved to carry on this scene which entertained him so agreeably.

After Abon Hassan had tasted of all the fruits, &c. he got up and followed Mesrour into a third hall, much more magnificently furnished than the other two; where he was received by the same number of musicians and ladies, who stood about a table covered over with all manner of sweetmeats. After he had looked about him with new admiration, he advanced to the table, the music playing all the time, which ceased when he sat down. The seven ladies sat down with him, by his order, and helped themselves, as he desired them, to what they liked best; and afterwards he informed himself of their names, which pleased him as much as the others had done.

By this time the day began to close, and Abon Hassan was conducted into the fourth hall, much more stately and magnificently furnished, lighted with wax-candles, in seven gold branches and sconces, which were placed all around it, all which made a glorious light. Abon Hassan found the same number of musicians here as he had done in the other halls, and saw also as many ladies standing round a table, furnished with such things as were proper to promote drinking. There he saw a beaufet, which he had not observed in any of the other halls, which was set out with seven large silver flagons full of the choicest wines, and seven crystal glasses by them.

All the day long, Abon Hassan had drunk nothing but water, according to a custom observed at Bagdad, from the highest to the lowest; who never drink wine till the evening, it being accounted the most scandalous thing in the world to be seen drunk in the streets in the day-time.

As soon as Abon Hassan entered the fourth hall, he went directly to the table and sat down, and was a long time in a kind of ecstasy at the sight of those seven ladies, who were much more beautiful than all he beheld in the other halls. He was very desirous to know all their names; but the music playing then so very loud that he could not hear them speak, he made a sign for them to leave off playing: then taking one of the ladies who sat next to him by the hand, he made her sit down by him, and presenting her with some of those relishing viands before him, asked her name. Commander of the Faithful, said the lady, I am called Cluster of Pearls. No name, replied Abon Hassan, could have more properly expressed your worth; and indeed your teeth exceed the finest pearls. Cluster of Pearls, added he, since that is your name, oblige me with a glass of wine from your fair hand. The lady went presently to the beaufet, and brought him a glass with a pleasant air. Abon Hassan took the glass with a smile, and looking passionately upon her; said, Cluster of Pearls, your health; I desire you to fill out as much for yourself, and pledge me. Accordingly she went to the beaufet, and returned with a glass in her hand; but before she drank, she sang a song, and by the sweetness of her voice ravished his senses.

After Abon Hassan had drunk, he made another lady sit, and presenting her with some of the viands, asked her name, which she told him was Morning Star. Your bright eyes, said he, shine with greater lustre than that star you bear the name of. Do me the pleasure to bring me some wine; which she did, with an extraordinary grace. Then turning to the third lady, whose name was Daylight, he ordered her to do the same; and so on to the seventh, to the extreme satisfaction of the caliph.

When they had all filled him round, Cluster of Pearls went to the beaufet, poured out a glass of wine, and putting in a pinch of the same powder the caliph had used the night before, presented it to Abon Hassan. Commander of the Faithful, said she, I beg of your majesty to take this glass of wine; and, before you drink it off, do me the favour to hear a song I have made to-day, and which may not displease you. With all my heart, said Abon Hassan, taking the glass; and, as commander of the faithful, I command you to sing it: for I am persuaded that so beautiful a lady as yourself must abound with wit and humour. The lady took a lute, and tuning it to her voice, sang with so much justness and grace, and with such delicate turns of thought and expression, that Abon Hassan was in perfect ecstasy all the time, and was so much delighted, that he ordered her to sing it again.

When the lady had done, Abon Hassan drank off his glass, and, turning his head towards her, to give her those praises which he thought due to her, fell fast asleep with his mouth open gaping, and his eyes close shut, just in the same condition as when the caliph brought him from home; who took a greater satisfaction in this scene, than he could have promised himself. One of the ladies stood ready to catch the glass, which fell out of his hand; and then the caliph, who was all along a spectator of what had passed, came into the hall to them, and ordered Abon Hassan to be dressed again in his own clothes, and to be carried back again to his own house by the same slave that brought him, charging him to lay him on a sofa in the same room, and to leave the door open.

The slave took Abon Hassan upon his shoulders, and carried him home by a back-door of the palace, and returned with speed to acquaint the caliph he had executed his commands. Well, said the caliph, Abon Hassan wished only to be caliph for one day, to punish the iman of the mosque, and the four scheiks or old men of his division, who had displeased him: I have procured him the means, and he ought to be content.

In the mean time, Abon Hassan, who was laid upon a sofa by the slave, slept very late the next morning. When the powder was worked off, Abon Hassan opened his eyes, and finding himself at home, was in the utmost surprise. Cluster of Pearls! Morning Star! Coral Lips! Fair Face! cried he, calling the ladies of the palace by their names, as he remembered them: Where are you? Come hither.