Chapter XI: Appendix: Extracts From the Critics (4)

WIT. As can be;
Coach it to _Pimlico_; daunce the _Saraband_; [151]
Heare, and talke bawdy; laugh as loud, as a larum; 165
Squeake, ſpring, do any thing.

EIT. In young company, _Madame_.

TAY. Or afore gallants. If they be braue, or _Lords_,
A woman is ingag’d.

FIT. I ſay ſo, _Ladies_,
It is ciuility to deny vs nothing.

PVG. You talke of a _Vniuerſity_! why, _Hell_ is 170
A Grammar-ſchoole to this!

_The_ Diuell _admires him_.

EIT. But then,
Shee muſt not loſe a looke on ſtuffes, or cloth, _Madame_.

TAY. Nor no courſe fellow.

WIT. She muſt be guided, _Madame_
By the clothes he weares, and company he is in;
Whom to ſalute, how farre--

FIT. I ha’ told her this. 175
And how that bawdry too, vpo’ the point,
Is (in it ſelfe) as ciuill a diſcourſe--

WIT. As any other affayre of fleſh, what euer.

FIT. But ſhee will ne’r be capable, ſhee is not
So much as comming, _Madame_; I know not how 180
She loſes all her opportunities
With hoping to be forc’d. I’haue entertain’d
_He ſhews his_ Pug.
A gentleman, a younger brother, here,
Whom I would faine breed vp, her _Eſcudero_,
Againſt ſome expectation’s that I haue, 185
And ſhe’ll not countenance him.

WIT. What’s his name?

FIT. _Diuel_, o’ _Darbi-ſhire_.

EIT. Bleſſe us from him!

TAY. _Diuell?_
Call him _De-uile_, ſweet _Madame_.

M^rs. FI. What you pleaſe, _Ladies_.

TAY. _De-uile’s_ a prettier name!

EIT. And ſounds, me thinks,
As it came in with the _Conquerour_--

MAN. Ouer ſmocks! 190
What things they are? That nature ſhould be at leaſure
Euer to make ’hem! my woing is at an end.

Manly _goes out with indignation_.

WIT. What can he do?

EIT. Let’s heare him.

TAY. Can he manage?

FIT. Pleaſe you to try him, _Ladies_. Stand forth, _Diuell_.

PVG. Was all this but the preface to my torment? 195

FIT. Come, let their _Ladiſhips_ ſee your honours.

EIT. O,
Hee makes a wicked leg.

TAY. As euer I ſaw!

WIT. Fit for a _Diuell_.

TAY. Good _Madame_, call him _De-uile_.

WIT. _De-uile_, what property is there moſt required
I’ your conceit, now, in the _Eſcudero_? 200

_They begin their_ Catechiſme.

FIT. Why doe you not speake?

PVG. A ſetled diſcreet paſe, _Madame_.

WIT. I thinke, a barren head, Sir, Mountaine-like,
To be expos’d to the cruelty of weathers--

FIT. I, for his Valley is beneath the waſte, _Madame_,
And to be fruitfull there, it is ſufficient. 205
Dulneſſe vpon you! Could not you hit this?

PVG. Good Sir--

_He ſtrikes him._

WIT. He then had had no barren head.
You daw him too much, in troth, Sir.

FIT. I muſt walke
With the _French_ ſticke, like an old vierger for you.

PVG. O, _Chiefe_, call mee to _Hell_ againe, and free mee. 210

_The_ Diuell _prayes_.

FIT. Do you murmur now?

PVG. Not I, S^r.

WIT. What do you take [152]
M^r. _Deuile_, the height of your employment,
In the true perfect _Eſcudero_?

FIT. When?
What doe you anſwer?

PVG. To be able, _Madame_,
Firſt to enquire, then report the working, 215
Of any _Ladies_ phyſicke, in ſweete phraſe.

WIT. Yes, that’s an act of elegance, and importance.
But what aboue?

FIT. O, that I had a goad for him.

PVG. To find out a good _Corne-cutter_.

TAY. Out on him!

EIT. Moſt barbarous!

FIT. Why did you doe this, now? 220
Of purpoſe to diſcredit me? you damn’d _Diuell_.

PVG. Sure, if I be not yet, I ſhall be. All
My daies in _Hell_, were holy-daies to this!

TAY. ’Tis labour loſt, _Madame_?

EIT. H’is a dull fellow
Of no capacity!

TAI. Of no diſcourſe! 225
O, if my _Ambler_ had beene here!

EIT. I, _Madame_;
You talke of a man, where is there ſuch another?

WIT. M^r. _Deuile_, put caſe, one of my _Ladies_, heere,
Had a fine brach: and would imploy you forth
To treate ’bout a conuenient match for her. 230
What would you obſerue?

PVG. The color, and the ſize, _Madame_.

WIT. And nothing elſe?

FIT. The Moon, you calfe, the Moone!

WIT. I, and the Signe.

TAI. Yes, and receits for proneneſſe.

WIT. Then when the _Puppies_ came, what would you doe?

PVG. Get their natiuities caſt!

WIT. This’s wel. What more? 235

PVG. Conſult the _Almanack-man_ which would be leaſt?
Which cleanelieſt?

WIT. And which ſilenteſt? This’s wel, _madame_!

WIT. And while ſhe were with puppy?

PVG. Walke her out,
And ayre her euery morning!

WIT. Very good!
And be induſtrious to kill her fleas? 240

PVG. Yes!

WIT. He will make a pretty proficient.

PVG. Who,
Comming from _Hell_, could looke for ſuch Catechiſing?
The _Diuell_ is an _Aſſe_. I doe acknowledge it.

FIT. The top of woman! All her ſexe in abſtract!
Fitz-dottrel _admires_ Wittipol.
I loue her, to each ſyllable, falls from her. 245

TAI. Good _madame_ giue me leaue to goe aſide with him!
And try him a little!

WIT. Do, and I’ll with-draw, _Madame_,
VVith this faire _Lady_: read to her, the while.

TAI. Come, S^r.

PVG. Deare _Chiefe_, relieue me, or I periſh.

_The_ Diuel _praies again_.

WIT. _Lady_, we’ll follow. You are not iealous Sir? 250

FIT. O, _madame_! you ſhall ſee. Stay wife, behold,
I giue her vp heere, abſolutely, to you,
She is your owne. Do with her what you will!
_He giues his wife to him, taking him to be a_ Lady.
Melt, caſt, and forme her as you ſhall thinke good!
Set any ſtamp on! I’ll receiue her from you 255
As a new thing, by your owne ſtandard!

VVIT. Well, Sir!

[615] SD. om. G

[616] 1 _Wit._ [_Takes Manly aside._]

[617] 2 SN. om. G wondering G

[618] 8 SN. _Hee_ om. G

[619] 13 o’] of W

[620] 14 had] has W, G

[621] 17 hear. _Wit._ They G

[622] 22 Camphire 1716, f.

[623] 32, 3 _leuante ... di_ om. 1641

[624] 34 _Grosia_ 1641

[625] 35 _Zucchi_ 1641

[626] 36 varnish G

[627] 39 at] as 1716, f.

[628] 43 o’ ret. G

[629] 53 or] nor W, G

[630] 59 SN. om. G

[631] 60 [_Aside._ G

[632] 61 Madam--[_whispers Wit._] G

[633] 63 up. [_Aside to Pug._ G

[634] 70 EIT.] _Lady T._ G

[635] 71 Diamonds 1692, 1716 diamonds W, G

[636] 75 WIT. ...] speech given to TAI. 1716, f.

[637] 76 EIT. ...] speech given to WIT. 1716, f.

[638] 77 guarda W, G

[639] 78 this. [_Points to Trains._ G

[640] 79 in the 1716, f.

[641] 84 onl’ 1692, 1716 only W, G

[642] 89 dance 1692, f. || Handkerchief 1716 handkerchief W, G

[643] 90 This is W, G

[644] 94 dozen 1692, f.

[645] 103 now! [_Aside to Meer._ G

[646] 106 SN.] [_Gives the ring to Mrs. Fitzdottrel._ G Surely 1641
tongue. [_Aside._ G

[647] 107 SN.] [_Aside to Wit._ G

[648] 108 SN. om. [_Exeunt Meer, and Trains_ G

[649] 110 heare? [_Takes Mrs. Fitz. aside._] G You’re 1716, W into]
in 1641 schoole 1641 School 1692, 1716 school W, G

[650] 117 SN. om. G

[651] 118 left] let 1641 entered W enter’d G

[652] 120 owne om. G

[653] 121 sha’] she’ 1692 she 1716, f. enjoy’d 1692, f.

[654] 124 your 1641, f.

[655] 125 kindnesse 1641 Kindness 1692, 1716 kindness W, G

[656] 147 Marquess 1692, 1716 marquess W

[657] 149 FIT.] _Eith._ 1716, W _Wit._ They G

[658] 153 SN. om. G || You’re 1716, W

[659] 160 He ’as 1716, W

[660] 162 venture 1692, f.

[661] 164 dance 1641, f.

[662] 168 engag’d W engaged G

[663] 171 SN.] [_Aside._ G

[664] 176 baudery 1641

[665] 182 SN. om. G

[666] 192 SN.] [_Aside, and exit with indignation._ G || Wooing 1692,
1716 wooing W, G

[667] 195 [_Aside._ G

[668] 196 Ladiship 1641

[669] 200, 210 SN. om. G

[670] 201 pase] pause 1641

[671] 207 SN.] [_Fit strikes Pug._ W || _He_ om. G

[672] 208 draw 1716

[673] 209 Virger W verger G

[674] 210 [_Aside._ G

[675] 212 Divele 1641

[676] 223 [_Aside._ G

[677] 224 He’s 1716, W He is G

[678] 229 employ 1692, f.

[679] 235, 237 This’s] This is 1716, f.

[680] 237 cleanliest 1692, f. silent’st 1692. f.

[681] 238 WIT. om. 1692, f.

[682] 242 such] such a W, G

[683] 243 [_Aside._ G

[684] 244 SN.] [_Aside, and looking at Wittipol._ G

[685] 249 SN.] [_Aside._ G

[686] 253 SN. om. G

[687] 256 [_Exit Wit._ Well, sir! [_Exeunt Wittipol with Mrs. Fitz.
and Tailbush and Eitherside with Pug._ G

ACT. IIIJ. SCENE. V.

MERE-CRAFT. FITZ-DOTTREL. PIT-FAL.
EVER-ILL. PLVTARCHUS.

But what ha’ you done i’ your _Dependance_, ſince? [153]

FIT. O, it goes on, I met your Couſin, the _Maſter_--

MER. You did not acquaint him, S^r?

FIT. Faith, but I did, S^r.
And vpon better thought, not without reaſon!
He being chiefe _Officer_, might ha’ tane it ill, elſe, 5
As a _Contempt_ againſt his Place, and that
In time Sir, ha’ drawne on another _Dependance_.
No, I did finde him in good termes, and ready
To doe me any ſeruice.

MER. So he said, to you?
But S^r, you do not know him.

FIT. VVhy, I presum’d 10
Becauſe this _bus’neſſe_ of my wiues, requir’d mee,
I could not ha’ done better: And hee told
Me, that he would goe preſently to your _Councell_,
A Knight, here, i’ the Lane--

MER. Yes, _Iuſtice Either-ſide_.

FIT. And get the _Feoffment_ drawne,
with a letter of _Atturney_, 15
For _liuerie_ and _ſeiſen_!

MER. That I knowe’s the courſe.
But Sir, you meane not to make him _Feoffee_?

FIT. Nay, that I’ll pauſe on!

MER. How now little _Pit-fall_.

PIT. Your Couſin Maſter _Euer-ill_, would come in--
But he would know if Maſter _Manly_ were heere. 20

MER. No, tell him, if he were, I ha’ made his peace!
Mere-craft _whiſpers againſt him_.
Hee’s one, Sir, has no State, and a man knowes not,
How such a trust may tempt him.

FIT. I conceiue you.

EVE. S^r. this ſame deed is done here.

MER. Pretty _Plutarchus_?
Art thou come with it? and has Sir _Paul_ view’d it? 25

PLV. His hand is to the draught.

MER. VVill you step in, S^r.
And read it?

FIT. Yes.

EVE. I pray you a word wi’ you.
Eueril _whiſpers against_ Mere-craft.
Sir _Paul Eitherside_ will’d mee gi’ you caution,
Whom you did make _Feoffee_: for ’tis the truſt
O’ your whole State: and though my Cousin heere 30
Be a worthy Gentleman, yet his valour has
At the tall board bin queſtion’d: and we hold
Any man ſo impeach’d, of doubtfull honesty!
I will not iuſtiſie this; but giue it you
To make your profit of it: if you vtter it, 35
I can forſweare it!

FIT. I beleeue you, and thanke you, Sir.

[688] SD. V] III. 1641 ACT. ...] SCENE II. _Another Room in the same.
Enter_ MEERCRAFT _and_ FITZDOTTREL. G

[689] 5 taken G

[690] 9 service 1641, W, G Service 1692, 1716

[691] 18 on. _Enter_ PITFALL. G

[692] 20 Mr. 1692, 1716 mr. W

[693] 21 [_Exit Pitfall._ SN. om. G

[694] 23 _Enter_ EVERILL _and_ PLUTARCHUS. G

[695] 25 _Poul_ 1692, 1716 Poul W

[696] 27 SN.] [_Aside to Fitz._ G

[697] 28 give 1641, G _Paul_] as in 4.5.25

[698] 36 [_Exeunt._ G

ACT. IIIJ. SCENE. VI.

VVITTIPOL. Mistresse FITZ-DOTTREL.
MANLY. MERE-CRAFT.

Be not afraid, ſweet _Lady_: yo’ are truſted [154]
To loue, not violence here; I am no rauiſher,
But one, whom you, by your faire truſt againe,
May of a ſeruant make a moſt true friend.

M^rs. FI. And ſuch a one I need, but not this way: 5
Sir, I confeſſe me to you, the meere manner
Of your attempting mee, this morning tooke mee,
And I did hold m’inuention, and my manners,
Were both engag’d, to giue it a requitall;
But not vnto your ends: my hope was then, 10
(Though interrupted, ere it could be vtter’d)
That whom I found the Maſter of ſuch language,
That braine and ſpirit, for ſuch an enterpriſe,
Could not, but if thoſe ſuccours were demanded
To a right vſe, employ them vertuouſly! 15
And make that profit of his noble parts,
Which they would yeeld. S^r, you haue now the ground,
To exerciſe them in: I am a woman:
That cannot ſpeake more wretchedneſſe of my ſelfe,
Then you can read; match’d to a maſſe of folly; 20
That euery day makes haſte to his owne ruine;
The wealthy portion, that I brought him, ſpent;
And (through my friends neglect) no ioynture made me.
My fortunes ſtanding in this precipice,
’Tis _Counſell_ that I want, and honeſt aides: 25
And in this name, I need you, for a friend!
Neuer in any other; for his ill,
Muſt not make me, S^r, worſe.

Manly, _conceal’d this while, ſhews himſelf_.

MAN. O friend! forſake not
The braue occaſion, vertue offers you,
To keepe you innocent: I haue fear’d for both; 30
And watch’d you, to preuent the ill I fear’d.
But, ſince the weaker ſide hath ſo aſſur’d mee,
Let not the ſtronger fall by his owne vice,
Or be the leſſe a friend, cauſe vertue needs him.

WIT. Vertue ſhall neuer aske my ſuccours twice; 35
Moſt friend, moſt man: your _Counſells_ are commands:
Lady, I can loue _goodnes_ in you, more [155]
Then I did _Beauty_; and doe here intitle
Your vertue, to the power, vpon a life
You ſhall engage in any fruitfull ſeruice, 40
Euen to forfeit.

MER. _Madame_: Do you heare, Sir,
Mere-craft _takes_ Wittipol _aſide,_
& _moues a proiect for himſelfe_.
We haue another leg-ſtrain’d, for this _Dottrel_.
He’ha’s a quarrell to carry, and ha’s cauſ’d
A deed of _Feoffment_, of his whole eſtate
To be drawne yonder; h’ha’ſt within: And you, 45
Onely, he meanes to make _Feoffee_. H’is falne
So deſperatly enamour’d on you, and talkes
Moſt like a mad-man: you did neuer heare
A _Phrentick_, ſo in loue with his owne fauour!
Now, you doe know, ’tis of no validity 50
In your name, as you ſtand; Therefore aduiſe him
To put in me. (h’is come here:) You ſhall ſhare Sir.

[699] SD. SCENE III _Another Room in the same. Enter_ WITTIPOL,
_and Mrs._ FITZDOTTREL. G

[700] 1 Yo’] you W

[701] 4 MANLY _enters behind_. G

[702] 8 m’] W, G

[703] 28 SN.] [_comes forward._] G

[704] 40 faithfull 1641

[705] 41 SN.] _Enter_ MEERCRAFT. (after ‘forfeit.’)
_Aside to Wittipol._ (after ‘Sir,’) G

[706] 42 leg-strain’d] hyphen om. 1692, f.

[707] 43 He’] H’ 1692, 1716

[708] 45 h’ om. 1641 he W, G

[709] 46 H’is] He’s 1716, W He is G

[710] 49 phrenetic G

[711] 52 me!--_Enter_ FITZDOTTREL, EVERILL, _and_ PLUTARCHUS. G || h’is
He’s 1716, f.

ACT. IV. SCENE. VIJ.

WITTIPOL. Miſtreſſe FITZ-DOTTREL.
MANLY. MERE-CRAFT.
FITZ-DOTTRELL. EVERILL.
PLVTARCHVS.

FIT. _Madame_, I haue a ſuit to you; and afore-hand,
I doe beſpeake you; you muſt not deny me,
I will be graunted.

WIT. Sir, I muſt know it, though.

FIT. No _Lady_; you muſt not know it: yet, you muſt too.
For the truſt of it, and the fame indeed, 5
Which elſe were loſt me. I would vfe your name,
But in a _Feoffment_: make my whole eſtate
Ouer vnto you: a trifle, a thing of nothing,
Some eighteene hundred.

WIT. Alas! I vnderſtand not
Thoſe things Sir. I am a woman, and moſt loath, 10
To embarque my ſelfe--

FIT. You will not ſlight me, _Madame_?

WIT. Nor you’ll not quarrell me?

FIT. No, ſweet _Madame_, I haue
Already a _dependance_; for which cauſe
I doe this: let me put you in, deare _Madame_,
I may be fairely kill’d.

WIT. You haue your friends, Sir, 15
About you here, for choice.

EVE. She tells you right, Sir.

_Hee hopes to be the man._

FIT. Death, if ſhe doe, what do I care for that?
Say, I would haue her tell me wrong.

WIT. Why, Sir, [156]
If for the truſt, you’ll let me haue the honor
To name you one.

FIT. Nay, you do me the honor, _Madame_: 20
Who is’t?

WIT. This Gentleman:

_Shee deſignes_ Manly.

FIT. O, no, sweet _Madame_,
H’is friend to him, with whom I ha’ the _dependance_.

WIT. Who might he bee?

FIT. One _Wittipol_: do you know him?

WIT. Alas Sir, he, a toy: This Gentleman
A friend to him? no more then I am Sir! 25

FIT. But will your _Ladyſhip_ vndertake that, _Madame_?

WIT. Yes, and what elſe, for him, you will engage me.

FIT. What is his name?

VVIT. His name is _Euſtace Manly_.

FIT. VVhence do’s he write himſelfe?

VVIT. of _Middle-ſex_, _Eſquire_.

FIT. Say nothing, _Madame_. _Clerke_, come hether 30
VVrite _Euſtace Manly_, Squire o’ _Middle-ſex_.

MER. What ha’ you done, Sir?

VVIT. Nam’d a gentleman,
That I’ll be anſwerable for, to you, Sir.
Had I nam’d you, it might ha’ beene ſuſpected:
This way, ’tis ſafe.

FIT. Come Gentlemen, your hands, 35
For witnes.

MAN. VVhat is this?

EVE. You ha’ made _Election_
Eueril _applaudes it_.
Of a moſt worthy _Gentleman_!

MAN. VVould one of worth
Had ſpoke it: whence it comes, it is
Rather a ſhame to me, then a praiſe.

EVE. Sir, I will giue you any Satisfaction. 40

MAN. Be ſilent then: “falſhood commends not truth”.

PLV. You do deliuer this, Sir, as your deed.
To th’ vſe of M^r. _Manly_?

FIT. Yes: and Sir--
VVhen did you ſee yong _Wittipol_? I am ready,
For proceſſe now; Sir, this is _Publication_. 45
He ſhall heare from me, he would needes be courting
My wife, Sir.

MAN. Yes: So witneſſeth his Cloake there.

FIT. Nay good Sir,--_Madame_, you did vndertake--

Fitz-dottrel _is ſuſpicious of_ Manly _ſtill_.

VVIT. VVhat?

FIT. That he was not _Wittipols_ friend.

VVIT. I heare S^r. no confeſſion of it.

FIT. O ſhe know’s not; 50
Now I remember, _Madame_! This young _Wittipol_,
VVould ha’ debauch’d my wife, and made me _Cuckold_,
Through a caſement; he did fly her home
To mine owne window: but I think I ſou’t him,
And rauifh’d her away, out of his pownces. 55
I ha’ ſworne to ha’ him by the eares: I feare
The toy, wi’ not do me right.

VVIT. No? that were pitty!
VVhat right doe you aske, Sir? Here he is will do’t you?

Wittipol _diſcouers himſelfe_.

FIT. Ha? _Wittipol_?

VVIT. I Sir, no more _Lady_ now,
Nor _Spaniard_!

MAN. No indeed, ’tis _Wittipol_. 60

FIT. Am I the thing I fear’d?

VVIT. A _Cuckold_? No Sir,
But you were late in poſſibility,
I’ll tell you ſo much.

MAN. But your wife’s too vertuous!

VVIT. VVee’ll ſee her Sir, at home, and leaue you here,
To be made _Duke o’ Shore-ditch_ with a proiect. [157] 65

FIT. Theeues, rauiſhers.

VVIT. Crie but another note, Sir,
I’ll marre the tune, o’ your pipe!

FIT. Gi’ me my deed, then.

_He would haue his_ deed _again_.

VVIT. Neither: that ſhall be kept for your wiues good,
VVho will know, better how to vſe it.

FIT. Ha’
To feaſt you with my land?

VVIT. Sir, be you quiet, 70
Or I ſhall gag you, ere I goe, conſult
Your Maſter of dependances; how to make this
A ſecond buſineſſe, you haue time Sir.

VVitipol _bafflees him, and goes out_.

FIT. Oh!
VVhat will the ghoſt of my wiſe Grandfather,
My learned _Father_, with my worſhipfull _Mother_, 75
Thinke of me now, that left me in this world
In ſtate to be their _Heire_? that am become
A _Cuckold_, and an _Aſſe_, and my wiues Ward;
Likely to looſe my land; ha’ my throat cut:
All, by her practice!

MER. Sir, we are all abus’d! 80

FIT. And be ſo ſtill! VVho hinders you, I pray you,
Let me alone, I would enioy my ſelfe,
And be the _Duke o’ Drown’d-Land_, you ha’ made me.

MER. Sir, we muſt play an _after-game_ o’ this.

FIT. But I am not in caſe to be a _Gam-ſter_: 85
I tell you once againe--

MER. You muſt be rul’d
And take some counſell.

FIT. Sir, I do hate counſell,
As I do hate my wife, my wicked wife!

MER. But we may thinke how to recouer all:
If you will act.

FIT. I will not think; nor act; 90
Nor yet recouer; do not talke to me?
I’ll runne out o’ my witts, rather then heare;
I will be what I am, _Fabian Fitz-Dottrel_,
Though all the world ſay nay to’t.

MER. Let’s follow him.

[712] SD. om. G

[713] 3 granted 1692, f.

[714] 16 SN. om. G

[715] 21 SN. _She_ om. W _She_ ...] [_Pointing to Manly._ G

[716] 22 He’s 1716, f.

[717] 30 [_To Plutarchus._ G || hither 1692, f.

[718] 32 sir? [_Aside to Wit._ G

[719] 36 SN. om. G

[720] 38 it! but now whence W, G

[721] 39 to] unto W, G

[722] 43 [_To Manly._ G

[723] 48 SN. om. G

[724] 49 VVIT. _What._ 1641

[725] 53 Thorow 1692 Thorough 1716, f.

[726] 54 sou’t] fou’t 1692 fought 1716, W sous’d G

[727] 58 SN. Wittipol om. G

[728] 67 SN. om. G

[729] 69 Ha! 1692, f.

[730] 73 SN.] [_Baffles him, and exit with Manly._ G

[731] 82 injoy 1641

[732] 94 to’t. [_Exit._ G || Let’s Let us W, G || him. [_Exeunt._ G

ACT. V. SCENE. I. [158]

AMBLER. PITFALL. MERE-CRAFT.

Bvt ha’s my Lady miſt me?

PIT. Beyond telling!
Here ha’s been that infinity of ſtrangers!
And then ſhe would ha’ had you, to ha’ ſampled you
VVith one within, that they are now a teaching;
And do’s pretend to your ranck.

AMB. Good fellow _Pit-fall_, 5
Tel M^r. _Mere-craft_, I intreat a word with him.
Pitfall _goes out_.
This most vnlucky accident will goe neare
To be the loſſe o’ my place; I am in doubt!

MER. VVith me? what ſay you M^r _Ambler_?

AMB. Sir,
I would beſeech your worſhip ſtand betweene 10
Me, and my _Ladies_ diſpleaſure, for my abſence.

MER. O, is that all? I warrant you.

AMB. I would tell you Sir
But how it happened.

MER. Brief, good Maſter _Ambler_,
Put your selfe to your rack: for I haue taſque
Of more importance.
Mere-craft _ſeemes full of buſineſſe_.

AMB. Sir you’ll laugh at me? 15
But (ſo is _Truth_) a very friend of mine,
Finding by conference with me, that I liu’d
Too chaſt for my complexion (and indeed
Too honeſt for my place, Sir) did aduiſe me
If I did loue my ſelfe (as that I do, 20
I muſt confeſſe)

MER. Spare your _Parentheſis_.

AMB. To gi’ my body a little euacuation--

MER. Well, and you went to a whore?

AMB. No, S^r. I durſt not
(For feare it might arriue at ſome body’s eare,
It ſhould not) truſt my ſelfe to a common houſe; 25
Ambler _tels this with extraordinary ſpeed_.
But got the Gentlewoman to goe with me,
And carry her bedding to a _Conduit-head_,
Hard by the place toward _Tyborne_, which they call
My L. Majors _Banqueting-houſe_. Now Sir, This morning
Was _Execution_; and I ner’e dream’t on’t 30
Till I heard the noiſe o’ the people, and the horſes;
And neither I, nor the poore Gentlewoman [159]
Durſt ſtirre, till all was done and paſt: ſo that
I’ the _Interim_, we fell a ſleepe againe.

_He flags_.

MER. Nay, if you fall, from your gallop, I am gone S^r. 35

AMB. But, when I wak’d, to put on my cloathes, a ſute,
I made new for the action, it was gone,
And all my money, with my purſe, my ſeales,
My hard-wax, and my table-bookes, my ſtudies,
And a fine new deuiſe, I had to carry 40
My pen, and inke, my ciuet, and my tooth-picks,
All vnder one. But, that which greiu’d me, was
The Gentlewoman’s ſhoes (with a paire of roſes,
And garters, I had giuen her for the buſineſſe)
So as that made vs ſtay, till it was darke. 45
For I was faine to lend her mine, and walke
In a rug, by her, barefoote, to Saint _Giles’es_.

MER. A kind of Iriſh penance! Is this all, Sir?

AMB. To ſatisfie my _Lady_.

MER. I will promiſe you, S^r.

AMB. I ha’ told the true _Diſaſter_.

MER. I cannot ſtay wi’ you 50
Sir, to condole; but gratulate your returne.

AMB. An honeſt gentleman, but he’s neuer at leiſure
To be himſelfe: He ha’s ſuch tides of buſineſſe.

[733] SD. AMBLER ...] _A Room in_ Tailbush’s _House.
Enter_ AMBLER _and_ PITFALL. G

[734] 6 entreat W, G || SN.] [_Exit Pitfall._ G

[735] 8 _Enter_ MEERCRAFT. G

[736] 12 that] this 1641

[737] 14 a tasque 1641

[738] 15 SN. om. G

[739] 16 () ret. G.

[740] 25 SN. Ambler om. G

[741] 29 Mayor’s 1716, f.

[742] 30 never W, G

[743] 34 SN. _slags_ 1641

[744] 43, 4 (with ... garters,) W || () ret. G

[745] 51, 3 [_Exit._ G

ACT. V. SCENE. II.

PVG. AMBLER.

O, Call me home againe, deare _Chiefe_, and put me
To yoaking foxes, milking of Hee-goates,
Pounding of water in a morter, lauing
The ſea dry with a nut-ſhell, gathering all
The leaues are falne this _Autumne_, drawing farts 5
Out of dead bodies, making ropes of ſand,
Catching the windes together in a net,
Muſtring of ants, and numbring atomes; all
That hell, and you thought exquiſite torments, rather
Then ſtay me here, a thought more: I would ſooner 10
Keepe fleas within a circle, and be accomptant
A thouſand yeere, which of ’hem and how far
Out leap’d the other, then endure a minute
Such as I haue within. There is no hell
To a _Lady_ of faſhion. All your torture there 15
Are paſtimes to it. ’T would be a refreſhing [160]
For me, to be i’ the fire againe, from hence.

Ambler _comes in, & ſuruayes him_.

AMB. This is my ſuite, and thoſe the ſhoes and roſes!

PVG. Th’ haue such impertinent vexations,
A generall Councell o’ _diuels_ could not hit-- 20
Pug _perceiues it, and ſtarts_.
Ha! This is hee, I tooke a ſleepe with his _Wench_,
And borrow’d his cloathes. What might I doe to balke him?

AMB. Do you heare, S^r?

PVG. Answ. him but not to th’purpoſe

AMB. What is your name, I pray you Sir.

PVG. Is’t ſo late Sir?

_He anſwers quite from the purpoſe._

AMB. I aske not o’ the time, but of your name, Sir. 25

PVG. I thanke you, Sir. Yes it dos hold Sir, certaine.

AMB. Hold, Sir? what holds? I muſt both hold, and talke to you
About theſe clothes.

PVG. A very pretty lace!
But the _Taylor_ coſſend me.

AMB. No, I am coſſend
By you! robb’d.

PVG. Why, when you pleaſe Sir, I am 30
For three peny _Gleeke_, your man.

AMB. Pox o’ your _gleeke_,
And three pence. Giue me an anſwere.

PVG. Sir,
My maſter is the beſt at it.

AMB. Your maſter!
Who is your Maſter.

PVG. Let it be friday night.

AMB. What ſhould be then?

PVG. Your beſt ſongs _Thom. o’ Bet’lem_ 35

AMB. I thinke, you are he. Do’s he mocke me trow, from purpoſe?
Or do not I ſpeake to him, what I meane?
Good Sir your name.

PVG. Only a couple a’ _Cocks_ Sir,
If we can get a _Widgin_, ’tis in ſeaſon.

AMB. He hopes to make on o’ theſe _Scipticks_ o’ me 40
_For_ Scepticks.
(I thinke I name ’hem right) and do’s not fly me.
I wonder at that! ’tis a ſtrange confidence!
I’ll prooue another way, to draw his anſwer.

[746] SD.] SCENE II. _Another Room in the Same. Enter_ PUG. G

[747] 8 mustering G numbering G

[748] 17 SN.] _Enter_ AMBLER, _and surveys him_. G

[749] 18 [_Aside._ G

[750] 19 They’ve W They have G

[751] 20 SN. om. 1641 [_sees Ambler._] G

[752] 22,3 [_Aside._ G

[753] 23 him om. 1641

[754] 24, 40 SN. om. G

[755] 31 o’ ret. G

[756] 35 _Tom_ 1641, G || o’ ret. G || _Bethlem_ 1716, G Bethlem W

[757] 38 a’] o’ 1692, 1716, W of G

[758] 40 on] one 1641, f.

[759] 41 () ret. G

[760] 43 [_Exeunt severally._ G

ACT. V. SCENE. IIJ.

MERE-CRAFT. FITZ-DOTTREL.
EVERILL. PVG.

It is the eaſieſt thing Sir, to be done.
As plaine, as fizzling: roule but wi’ your eyes,
And foame at th’ mouth. A little caſtle-ſoape
Will do’t, to rub your lips: And then a nutſhell,
With toe, and touch-wood in it to ſpit fire, 5
Did you ner’e read, Sir, little _Darrels_ tricks,
With the boy o’ _Burton_, and the 7. in _Lancaſhire,
Sommers_ at _Nottingham_? All theſe do teach it.
And wee’ll giue out, Sir, that your wife ha’s bewitch’d you: [161]

_They repaire their old plot_.

EVE. And practiſed with thoſe two, as _Sorcerers_. 10

MER. And ga’ you potions, by which meanes you were
Not _Compos mentis_, when you made your _feoffment_.
There’s no recouery o’ your ſtate, but this:
This, Sir, will ſting.

EVE. And moue in a Court of equity.

MER. For, it is more then manifeſt, that this was 15
A plot o’ your wiues, to get your land.

FIT. I thinke it.

EVE. Sir it appeares.

MER. Nay, and my coſſen has knowne
Theſe gallants in theſe ſhapes.

EVE. T’haue don ſtrange things, Sir.
One as the _Lady_, the other as the _Squire_.

MER. How, a mans honeſty may be fool’d! I thought him 20
A very _Lady_.

FIT. So did I: renounce me elſe.

MER. But this way, Sir, you’ll be reueng’d at height.

EVE. Vpon ’hem all.

MER. Yes faith, and ſince your Wife
Has runne the way of woman thus, e’en giue her--

FIT. Loſt by this hand, to me, dead to all ioyes 25
Of her deare _Dottrell_, I ſhall neuer pitty her:
That could, pitty her ſelfe.

MER. Princely reſolu’d Sir,
And like your ſelfe ſtill, in _Potentiâ_.

[761] SD.] SCENE III. _A Room in_ Fitzdottrel’s _House.
Enter_ MEERCRAFT, FITZDOTTREL, _and_ EVERILL. G

[762] 2 Roll 1692, 1716 roll W, G

[763] 9 SN. om. G

[764] 11 gave G

[765] 13 estate 1641

[766] 18 shapes--G

[767] 27 could not pity W could [not] pity G

ACT. V. SCENE. IV.

MERE-CRAFT, &c. _to them_. GVILT-HEAD.
SLEDGE. PLVTARCHVS. SERIEANTS.

_Gvilt-head_ What newes?

FIT. O Sir, my hundred peices:
Let me ha’ them yet.

Fitz-dottrel _aſkes for his money_.

GVI. Yes Sir, officers
Arreſt him.

FIT. Me?

SER. I arreſt you.

SLE. Keepe the peace,
I charge you gentlemen.

FIT. Arreſt me? Why?

GVI. For better ſecurity, Sir. My ſonne _Plutarchus_ 5
Aſſures me, y’are not worth a groat.

PLV. Pardon me, _Father_,
I said his worſhip had no foote of Land left:
And that I’ll iuſtifie, for I writ the deed.

FIT. Ha’ you theſe tricks i’ the citty?

GVI. Yes, and more.
Arreſt this gallant too, here, at my ſuite. 10

_Meaning_ Mere-craft.

SLE. I, and at mine. He owes me for his lodging
Two yeere and a quarter.

MER. Why M. _Guilt-head_, Land-Lord,
Thou art not mad, though th’art _Constable_
Puft vp with th’ pride of the place? Do you heare, Sirs.
Haue I deſeru’d this from you two? for all 15
My paines at _Court_, to get you each a patent.

GVI. For what?

MER. Vpo’ my proiect o’ the _forkes_,

SLE. _Forkes?_ what be they? [162]

_The_ Project _of forks_.

MER. The laudable vſe of forkes,
Brought into cuſtome here, as they are in _Italy_,
To th’ ſparing o’ _Napkins_. That, that ſhould haue made 20
Your bellowes goe at the forge, as his at the fornace.
I ha’ procur’d it, ha’ the Signet for it,
Dealt with the _Linnen-drapers_, on my priuate,
By cause, I fear’d, they were the likelyeſt euer
To ſtirre againſt, to croſſe it; for ’twill be 25
A mighty ſauer of _Linnen_ through the kingdome
(As that is one o’ my grounds, and to ſpare waſhing)
Now, on you two, had I layd all the profits.
_Guilt-head_ to haue the making of all thoſe
Of gold and ſiluer, for the better perſonages; 30
And you, of thoſe of _Steele_ for the common ſort.
And both by _Pattent_, I had brought you your ſeales in.
But now you haue preuented me, and I thanke you.

Sledge _is brought about_.

SLE. Sir, I will bayle you, at mine owne ap-perill.

MER. Nay chooſe.

PLV. Do you ſo too, good Father. 35

_And_ Guilt-head _comes_.

GVI. I like the faſhion o’ the proiect, well,
The forkes! It may be a lucky one! and is not
Intricate, as one would ſay, but fit for
Plaine heads, as ours, to deale in. Do you heare
_Officers_, we diſcharge you.

MER. Why this ſhewes 40
A little good nature in you, I confeſſe,
But do not tempt your friends thus. Little _Guilt-head_,
Aduiſe your ſire, great _Guilt-head_ from theſe courſes:
And, here, to trouble a great man in reuerſion,
For a matter o’ fifty on a falſe _Alarme_, 45
Away, it ſhewes not well. Let him get the pieces
And bring ’hem. Yo’ll heare more elſe.

PLV. _Father._

[768] SD. MERE. ... _them_] _To them._ Mere-craft &c. 1692
MERE-CRAFT, &c. om. 1716. W

[769] ACT. ...] _Enter_ GILTHEAD, PLUTARCHUS, SLEDGE, _and_ Serjeants. G

[770] 2 SN. om. G

[771] 3 SER.] I _Serj._ G

[772] 6 y’] you W, G

[773] 10 SN.] [_Points to Meercraft._ G

[774] 13 th’] thou W, G

[775] 18 SN. om. G

[776] 23, 4 private Bie, ’cause 1692, 1716 private, Because W, G

[777] 27 to] so 1641

[778] 33, 5 SN. om. G

[779] 37, 8 Not intricate (l. 38) G

[780] 40 you. [_Exeunt Serjeants._ G

[781] 45 on] in W, G

[782] 47 You’ll 1692, 1716 You’ll W || _Exeunt Gilt. and Plut.
Enter_ AMBLER, _dragging in_ PUG. G

ACT. V. SCENE. V.

AMBLER. {_To them._

O Maſter _Sledge_, are you here? I ha’ been to ſeeke you.
You are the _Conſtable_, they ſay. Here’s one
That I do charge with _Felony_, for the ſuite
He weares, Sir.

MER. Who? M. _Fitz-Dottrels_ man?
Ware what you do, M. _Ambler_.

AMB. Sir, theſe clothes 5
I’ll ſweare, are mine: and the ſhooes the gentlewomans
I told you of: and ha’ him afore a _Iuſtice_, [163]
I will.

PVG. My maſter, Sir, will paſſe his word for me.

AMB. O, can you ſpeake to purpoſe now?

FIT. Not I,
If you be ſuch a one Sir, I will leaue you 10
To your _God fathers_ in Law. Let twelue men worke.

Fitz-dottrel _diſclaimes him_.

PVG. Do you heare Sir, pray, in priuate.

FIT. well, what ſay you?
Briefe, for I haue no time to looſe.

PVG. Truth is, Sir,
I am the very _Diuell_, and had leaue
To take this body, I am in, to ſerue you; 15
Which was a _Cutpurſes_, and hang’d this Morning.
And it is likewiſe true, I ſtole this ſuite
To cloth me with. But Sir let me not goe
To priſon for it. I haue hitherto
Loſt time, done nothing; ſhowne, indeed, no part 20
O’ my _Diuels_ nature. Now, I will ſo helpe
Your malice, ’gainst theſe parties; ſo aduance
The buſineſſe, that you haue in hand of _witchcraft_,
And your _poſſeſſion_, as my ſelfe were in you.
Teach you ſuch tricks, to make your belly ſwell, 25
And your eyes turne, to foame, to ſtare, to gnaſh
Your teeth together, and to beate your ſelfe,
Laugh loud, and faine ſix voices--

FIT. Out you Rogue!
You moſt infernall counterfeit wretch! Auant!
Do you thinke to gull me with your _Æſops Fables_? 30
Here take him to you, I ha’ no part in him.

PVG. Sir.

FIT. Away, I do diſclaime, I will not heare you.

_And ſends him away._

MER. What ſaid he to you, Sir?

FIT. Like a lying raskall
Told me he was the _Diuel_.

MER. How! a good ieſt!

FIT. And that he would teach me, ſuch fine _diuels_ tricks 35
For our new reſolution.

EVE. O’ pox on him,
’Twas excellent wiſely done, Sir, not to truſt him.

Mere-craft _giues the instructions to him and the reſt_.

MER. Why, if he were the Diuel, we ſha’ not need him,
If you’ll be rul’d. Goe throw your ſelfe on a bed, Sir,
And faine you ill. Wee’ll not be ſeene wi’ you, 40
Till after, that you haue a fit: and all
Confirm’d within. Keepe you with the two _Ladies_
And perſwade them. I’ll to _Iuſtice Either-ſide_,
And poſſeſſe him with all. _Traines_ ſhall ſeeke out _Ingine_,
And they two fill the towne with’t, euery cable 45
Is to be veer’d. We muſt employ out all
Our _emiſſaries_ now; Sir, I will ſend you
_Bladders_ and _Bellowes_. Sir, be confident,
’Tis no hard thing t’out doe the _Deuill_ in:
A Boy o’ thirteene yeere old made him an _Aſſe_ 50
But t’toher day.

FIT. Well, I’ll beginne to practice;
And ſcape the imputation of being _Cuckold_,
By mine owne act.

MER. yo’ are right.

EVE. Come, you ha’ put
Your ſelfe to a ſimple coyle here, and your freinds, [164]
By dealing with new _Agents_, in new plots. 55

MER. No more o’ that, ſweet couſin.

EVE. What had you
To doe with this ſame _Wittipol_, for a _Lady_?

MER. Queſtion not that: ’tis done.

EVE. You had ſome ſtraine
’Boue E-_la_?

MER. I had indeed.

EVE. And, now, you crack for’t.

MER. Do not vpbraid me.

EVE. Come, you muſt be told on’t; 60
You are ſo couetous, ſtill, to embrace
More then you can, that you looſe all.

MER. ’Tis right.
What would you more, then Guilty? Now, your ſuccours.

[783] SD. om. G

[784] 5 _Ambler. Enter_ FITZDOTTREL. G

[785] 11 SN. om. G

[786] 12 private. [_Takes him aside._ G

[787] 28 loud] round 1716

[788] 32 SN.] [_Exit Sledge with Pug._ G

[789] 36 O’] O W O, G

[790] 37 SN. om. G

[791] 42 [_to Everill._ G

[792] 43 I will G

[793] 45 two] to 1641

[794] 46 imploy 1641

[795] 49 t’ ret. G

[796] 51 t’tother 1692 t’other 1716. f.

[797] 53 You’re 1716, W right. || [_Exit Fitz._ G

[798] 61 imbrace 1641

[799] 63 [_Exeunt._ G

ACT. V. SCENE. VJ.

SHAKLES. PVG. INIQUITY. DIVEL.

Pug _is brought to_ New-gate.

Here you are lodg’d, Sir, you muſt ſend your garniſh,
If you’ll be priuat.

PVG. There it is, Sir, leaue me.
To _New-gate_, brought? How is the name of _Deuill_
Diſcredited in me! What a loſt fiend
Shall I be, on returne? My _Cheife_ will roare 5
In triumph, now, that I haue beene on earth,
A day, and done no noted thing, but brought
That body back here, was hang’d out this morning.
Well! would it once were midnight, that I knew
My vtmoſt. I thinke Time be drunke, and ſleepes; 10
He is ſo ſtill, and moues not! I doe glory
Now i’ my torment. Neither can I expect it,
I haue it with my fact.

_Enter_ Iniquity _the_ Vice.

INI. _Child_ of hell, be thou merry:
Put a looke on, as round, boy, and red as a cherry.
Caſt care at thy poſternes; and firke i’ thy fetters, 15
They are ornaments, _Baby_, haue graced thy betters:
Looke vpon me, and hearken. Our _Cheife_ doth ſalute thee,
And leaſt the coldyron ſhould chance to confute thee,
H’hath ſent thee, _grant-paroll_ by me to ſtay longer
A moneth here on earth, againſt cold _Child_, or honger. 20

PVG. How? longer here a moneth?

ING. Yes, boy, till the _Seſſion_,
That ſo thou mayeſt haue a triumphall egreſſion.

PVG. In a cart, to be hang’d.

ING. No, _Child_, in a Carre,
The charriot of Triumph, which moſt of them are.
And in the meane time, to be greazy, and bouzy, 25
And naſty, and filthy, and ragged and louzy,
With dam’n me, renounce me, and all the fine phraſes;
That bring, vnto _Tiborne_, the plentifull gazes.

PVG. He is a _Diuell_! and may be our _Cheife_! [165]
The great Superiour _Diuell_! for his malice: 30
_Arch-diuel_! I acknowledge him. He knew
What I would ſuffer, when he tie’d me vp thus
In a rogues body: and he has (I thanke him)
His tyrannous pleaſure on me, to confine me
To the vnlucky carkaſſe of a _Cutpurſe_, 35
wherein I could do nothing.

_The great_ Deuill _enters, and vpbraids
him with all his dayes worke_.

DIV. Impudent fiend,
Stop thy lewd mouth. Doeſt thou not ſhame and tremble
To lay thine owne dull damn’d defects vpon
An innocent caſe, there? Why thou heauy ſlaue!
The ſpirit, that did poſſeſſe that fleſh before 40
Put more true life, in a finger, and a thumbe,
Then thou in the whole Maſſe. Yet thou rebell’ſt
And murmur’ſt? What one profer haſt thou made,
Wicked inough, this day, that might be call’d
Worthy thine owne, much leſſe the name that ſent thee? 45
Firſt, thou did’ſt helpe thy ſelfe into a beating
Promptly, and with’t endangered’ſt too thy tongue:
A _Diuell_, and could not keepe a body intire
One day! That, for our credit. And to vindicate it,
Hinderd’ſt (for ought thou know’ſt) a deed of darkneſſe: 50
Which was an act of that egregious folly,
As no one, to’ard the _Diuel_, could ha’ thought on.
This for your acting! but for suffering! why
Thou haſt beene cheated on, with a falſe beard,
And a turn’d cloake. Faith, would your predeceſſour 55
The _Cutpurſe_, thinke you, ha’ been ſo? Out vpon thee,
The hurt th’ haſt don, to let men know their ſtrength,
And that the’are able to out-doe a _diuel_
Put in a body, will for euer be
A ſcarre vpon our Name! whom haſt thou dealt with, 60
Woman or man, this day, but haue out-gone thee
Some way, and moſt haue prou’d the better fiendes?
Yet, you would be imploy’d? Yes, hell ſhall make you
_Prouinciall_ o’ the _Cheaters_! or _Bawd-ledger_,
For this ſide o’ the towne! No doubt you’ll render 65
A rare accompt of things. Bane o’ your itch,
And ſcratching for imployment. I’ll ha’ brimſtone
To allay it ſure, and fire to ſindge your nayles off,
But, that I would not ſuch a damn’d diſhonor
Sticke on our ſtate, as that the _diuell_ were hang’d; 70
And could not ſaue a body, that he tooke
From _Tyborne_, but it muſt come thither againe:
You ſhould e’en ride. But, vp away with him--

Iniquity _takes him on his back_.

INI. Mount, dearling of darkneſſe, my ſhoulders are broad:
He that caries the fiend, is ſure of his loade. 75
The _Diuell_ was wont to carry away the euill; [166]
But, now, the Euill out-carries the _Diuell_.

[800] SD. VJJ VII. W ACT. ...] SCENE IV. _A Cell in Newgate.
Enter_ SHAKLES, _with_ PVG _in chains_. G

[801] 2 [_Exit Shackles._

[802] SN. (after ‘fact.’ 13) _the_ Vice om. G

[803] 12 i’] in W

[804] 18 the] our 1692, 1716

[805] 19 parole G

[806] 22 maist 1692 may’st 1716 mayst W, G

[807] 36 SN.] _Enter_ SATAN. G DIV.] _Sat._ G

[808] 37 Dost 1692, 1716

[809] 44 enough 1692, f.

[810] 48 entire W, G

[811] 57 th’] thou G

[812] 58 the’are] they are 1641, G the’are are 1692 they’re 1716, W

[813] 63 employ’d W, G

[814] 67 employment W, G

[815] 64 Cheaters] _heaters_ 1641

[816] 77 [_Exeunt._ [_A loud explosion, smoke, &c._ G

ACT. V. SCENE. VIJ.

SHAKLES. KEEPERS.

_A great noise is heard in_ New-gate,
_and the Keepers come out affrighted_.
O mee!

KEE. 1. What’s this?

2. A piece of Iustice Hall
Is broken downe.

3. Fough! what a ſteeme of brimſtone
Is here?

4. The priſoner’s dead, came in but now!

SHA. Ha? where?

4. Look here.

KEE. S’lid, I ſhuld know his countenance!
It is _Gill-Cut-purſe_, was hang’d out, this morning! 5

SHA. ’Tis he!

2. The _Diuell_, ſure, has a hand in this!

3. What ſhall wee doe?

SHA. Carry the newes of it
Vnto the _Sherifes_.

1. And to the _Iuſtices_.

4. This ſtrange!

3. And ſauours of the _Diuell_, ſtrongly!

2. I’ ha’ the _ſulphure_ of _Hell-coale_ i’ my noſe. 10

1. Fough.

SHA. Carry him in.

1. Away.

2. How ranke it is!

[817] SD.] _Enter_ SHAKLES, _and the_ Under-keepers, _affrighted_. G

[818] 3 Is here?] part of line 2 W

[819] 9 This is 1716, f.

[820] 11 [_Exeunt with the body._ G

ACT. V. SCENE. VIII.

Sir POVLE. MERE-CRAFT. EVER-ILL.
TRAINES. PITFALL. FITZ-DOTTREL.

{_To them_}

VVITTIPOL. MANLY. Miſtreſſe FITZ-DOTTREL.

INGINE. _To them_} GVILT-HEAD.
SLEDGE. _to them_} SHACKLES.

_The Iuſtice comes out wondring, and the reſt informing him._

This was the notableſt Conſpiracy,
That ere I heard of.

MER. Sir, They had giu’n him potions,
That did enamour him on the counterfeit _Lady_--

EVE. Iuſt to the time o’ deliuery o’ the deed--

MER. And then the witchcraft ’gan’t’ appeare, for ſtreight 5
He fell into his fit.

EVE. Of rage at firſt, Sir,
Which ſince, has ſo increaſed.

TAY. Good S^r. _Poule_, ſee him,
And puniſh the impoſtors.

POV. Therefore I come, _Madame_.

EIT. Let M^r. _Etherſide_ alone, _Madame_.

POV. Do you heare?
Call in the Conſtable, I will haue him by: 10
H’is the Kings _Officer_! and ſome Cittizens, [167]
Of credit! I’ll diſcharge my conſcience clearly.

MER. Yes, Sir, and ſend for his wife.

EVE. And the two _Sorcerers_,
By any meanes!

TAY. I thought one a true _Lady_,
I ſhould be ſworne. So did you, _Eyther-ſide_? 15

EIT. Yes, by that light, would I might ne’r ſtir elſe, _Tailbuſh_.

TAY. And the other a ciuill Gentleman.

EVE. But, _Madame_,
You know what I told your _Ladyſhip_.

TAY. I now ſee it:
I was prouiding of a banquet for ’hem.
After I had done inſtructing o’ the fellow 20
_De-uile_, the Gentlemans man.

MER. Who’s found a thiefe, _Madam_.
And to haue rob’d your Vsher, Maſter _Ambler_,
This morning.

TAY. How?

MER. I’ll tell you more, anon.

FIT. Gi me ſome _garlicke, garlicke, garlicke, garlicke_.

_He beginnes his fit._

MER. Harke the poore Gentleman, how he is tormented! 25

FIT. _My wife is a whore, I’ll kiſſe her no more: and why?
Ma’ſt not thou be a Cuckold, as well as I?
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, &c._

POV. That is the _Diuell_ ſpeakes, and laughes in him.

_The Iuſtice interpret all:_

MER. Do you thinke ſo, S^r.

POV. I diſcharge my conſcience. 30

FIT. _And is not the Diuell good company? Yes, wis._

EVE. How he changes, Sir, his voyce!

FIT. _And a Cuckold is
Where ere hee put his head, with a_ a _Wanion,
If his hornes be forth, the Diuells companion!
Looke, looke, looke, elſe._

MER. How he foames!

EVE. And ſwells! 35

TAY. O, me! what’s that there, riſes in his belly!

EIT. A ſtrange thing! hold it downe:

TRA. PIT. We cannot, _Madam_.

POV. ’Tis too apparent this!

FIT. _Wittipol, Wittipol._

Wittipol, _and_ Manly _and_ Mistr. Fitz-dottrel _enter_.

WIT. How now, what play ha’ we here.

MAN. What fine, new matters?

WIT. The _Cockſcomb_, and the _Couerlet_.

MER. O ſtrang impudēce! 40
That theſe ſhould come to face their ſinne!

EVE. And out-face
_Iuſtice_, they are the parties, Sir.

POV. Say nothing.

MER. Did you marke, Sir, vpon their comming in,
How he call’d _Wittipol_.

EVE. And neuer ſaw ’hem.

POV. I warrant you did I, let ’hem play a while. 45

FIT. _Buz, buz, buz, buz._

TAY. Laſſe poore Gentleman!
How he is tortur’d!

M^rs. FI. Fie, Maſter _Fitz-dottrel_!
What doe you meane to counterfait thus?

FIT. _O, ô,_
_His wife goes to him._
_Shee comes with a needle, and thruſts it in,_
_Shee pulls out that, and ſhee puts in a pinne,_ 50
_And now, and now, I doe not know how, nor where,_
_But ſhee pricks mee heere, and ſhee pricks me there: ôh, ôh:_

POV. Woman forbeare.

WIT. What, S^r?

POV. A practice foule
For one ſo faire:

WIT. Hath this, then, credit with you?

MAN. Do you beleeue in’t?

POV. Gentlemen, I’ll diſcharge
My conſcience. ’Tis a cleare conſpiracy! 56
A darke, and diuelliſh practice! I deteſt it!

WIT. The _Iuſtice_ ſure will proue the merrier man! [168]

MAN. This is moſt ſtrange, Sir!

POV. Come not to confront
Authority with impudence: I tell you,
I doe deteſt it. Here comes the Kings _Conſtable_,
And with him a right worſhipfull _Commoner_;
My good friend, Maſter _Guilt-head_! I am glad
I can before ſuch witneſſes, profeſſe
My conſcience, and my deteſtation of it. 65
Horible! moſt vnaturall! Abominable!

EVE. You doe not tumble enough.

MER. Wallow, gnaſh:

_They whiſper him._

TAY. O, how he is vexed!

POV. ’Tis too manifeſt.

EVE. Giue him more ſoap to foame with, now lie ſtill.

_and giue him ſoape to act with._

MER. And act a little.

TAY. What do’s he now, S^r.

POV. Shew
The taking of _Tabacco_, with which the _Diuell_
Is ſo delighted.

FIT. _Hum!_

POV. And calls for _Hum_.
You takers of ſtrong _Waters_, and _Tabacco_,
Marke this.

FIT. _Yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow_, &c.

POV. That’s _Starch_! the _Diuells_ Idoll of that colour. 75
He ratifies it, with clapping of his hands.
The proofes are pregnant.

GVI. How the _Diuel_ can act!

POV. He is the Maſter of _Players_! Master _Guilt-head_,
And _Poets_, too! you heard him talke in rime!
I had forgot to obſerue it to you, ere while! 80

TAY. See, he ſpits fire.

POV. O no, he plaies at _Figgum_,
The _Diuell_ is the Author of wicked _Figgum_--

_Sir_ Poule _interprets_ Figgum _to be a Iuglers game_.

MAN. Why ſpeake you not vnto him?

WIT. If I had
All innocence of man to be indanger’d,
And he could ſaue, or ruine it: I’ld not breath 85
A ſyllable in requeſt, to ſuch a foole,
He makes himſelfe.

FIT. _O they whiſper, whiſper, whiſper.
Wee ſhall haue more, of Diuells a ſcore,
To come to dinner, in mee the ſinner._

EYT. Alas, poore Gentleman!

POV. Put ’hem aſunder. 90
Keepe ’hem one from the other.

MAN. Are you phrenticke, Sir,
Or what graue dotage moues you, to take part
VVith so much villany? wee are not afraid
Either of law, or triall; let vs be
Examin’d what our ends were, what the meanes? 95
To worke by, and poſſibility of thoſe meanes.
Doe not conclude againſt vs, ere you heare vs.

POV. I will not heare you, yet I will conclude
Out of the circumſtances.

MAN. VVill you ſo, Sir?

POV. Yes, they are palpable:

MAN. Not as your folly: 100

POV. I will diſcharge my conſcience, and doe all
To the _Meridian_ of Iuſtice:

GVI. You doe well, Sir.

FIT. _Prouide mee to eat, three or foure diſhes o’ good meat,
I’ll feaſt them, and their traines, a Iuſtice head and braines
Shall be the firſt._

POV. The _Diuell_ loues not Iuſtice, [169]
There you may ſee.

FIT. _A ſpare-rib O’ my wife, 106
And a whores purt’nance! a_ Guilt-head _whole_.

POV. Be not you troubled, Sir, the _Diuell_ ſpeakes it.

FIT. _Yes, wis, Knight, ſhite, Poule, Ioule, owle, foule,
troule, boule._

POV. _Crambe_, another of the _Diuell’s_ games! 110

MER. Speake. Sir, ſome _Greeke_, if you can. Is not the _Iuſtice_
A ſolemne gameſter?

EVE. Peace.

FIT. Οὶ μοὶ, κακοδαιμων,
Καὶ τρισκακοδαίμων, καὶ τετράκις, καὶ πεντάκις,
Καὶ δοδεκάκις, καὶ μυριάκις.

POV. Hee curſes.
In _Greeke_, I thinke.

EVE. Your _Spaniſh_, that I taught you. 115

FIT. _Quebrémos el ojo de burlas_,

EVE. How? your reſt--
Let’s breake his necke in ieſt, the _Diuell_ ſaies.

FIT. _Di grátia, Signòr mio ſe haúete denári fataméne parte._

MER. What, would the _Diuell_ borrow money?

FIT. _Ouy,
Ouy Monſieur, ùn pàuure Diable! Diablet in!_ 120

POV. It is the _diuell_, by his ſeuerall langauges.

_Enter the_ Keeper _of_ New-gate.

SHA. Where’s S^r. _Poule Ether-ſide_?

POV. Here, what’s the matter?

SHA. O! ſuch an accident falne out at _Newgate_, Sir:
A great piece of the priſon is rent downe!
The _Diuell_ has beene there, Sir, in the body-- 125
Of the young _Cut-Purſe_, was hang’d out this morning,
But, in new clothes, Sir, euery one of vs know him.
Theſe things were found in his pocket.

AMB. Thoſe are mine, S^r.

SHA. I thinke he was commited on your charge, Sir.
For a new felony.

AMB. Yes.

SHA. Hee’s gone, Sir, now, 130
And left vs the dead body. But withall, Sir,
Such an infernall ſtincke, and ſteame behinde,
You cannot ſee S^t. _Pulchars Steeple_, yet.
They ſmell’t as farre as _Ware_, as the wind lies, 134
By this time, ſure.

FIT. Is this vpon your credit, friend?

Fitz-dottrel _leaues counterfaiting_.

SHA. Sir, you may ſee, and ſatisfie your ſelfe.

FIT. Nay, then, ’tis time to leaue off counterfeiting.
Sir I am not bewitch’d, nor haue a _Diuell_:
No more then you. I doe defie him, I,
And did abuſe you. Theſe two Gentlemen 140
Put me vpon it. (I haue faith againſt him)
They taught me all my tricks. I will tell truth,
And ſhame the _Feind_. See, here, Sir, are my bellowes,
And my falſe belly, and my _Mouſe_, and all
That ſhould ha’ come forth?

MAN. Sir, are not you aſham’d
Now of your ſolemne, ſerious vanity? 146

POV. I will make honorable amends to truth.

FIT. And ſo will I. But theſe are _Coozeners_, ſtill;
And ha’ my land, as plotters, with my wife:
Who, though ſhe be not a witch, is worſe, a whore. 150