Chapter IX: Appendix: Extracts From the Critics (2)

FIT. But what is a _Proiector_?
I would conceiue.

ING. Why, one Sir, that proiects 10
Wayes to enrich men, or to make ’hem great,
By ſuites, by marriages, by vndertakings:
According as he ſees they humour it.

FIT. Can hee not coniure at all?

ING. I thinke he can, Sir.
(To tell you true) but, you doe know, of late, 15
The State hath tane ſuch note of ’hem, and compell’d ’hem,
To enter ſuch great bonds, they dare not practice.

FIT. ’Tis true, and I lie fallow for’t, the while!

ING. O, Sir! you’ll grow the richer for the reſt.

FIT. I hope I ſhall: but _Ingine_, you doe talke 20
Somewhat too much, o’ my courſes. My Cloake-cuſtomer
Could tell mee ſtrange particulars.

ING. By my meanes? [111]

FIT. How ſhould he haue ’hem elſe?

ING. You do not know, S^r,
What he has: and by what arts! A monei’d man, Sir,
And is as great with your _Almanack-Men_, as you are! 25

FIT. That Gallant?

ING. You make the other wait too long, here:
And hee is extreme punctuall.

FIT. Is he a gallant?

ING. Sir, you ſhall ſee: He’is in his riding ſuit,
As hee comes now from Court. But heere him ſpeake:
Miniſter matter to him, and then tell mee. 30

[254] SD. om. G

[255] 3 _Exit Pug. Re-enter_ ENGINE. G

[256] 4 th’] the G§

[257] 7 H’is] he’s 1716, f. () ret. G

[258] 9 businesse 1641

[259] 12 undertaking 1641

[260] 16 ’hem] ’em G

[261] 21 o’ ret. G

[262] 27 a om. 1692, 1716, W

[263] 28 He’is] He’s 1716 he’s W, G

[264] 30 [_Exeunt._ G

ACT. IJ. SCENE. I.

MEER-CRAFT. FITZ-DOTTREL. INGINE.
TRAINES. PVG.

Sir, money’s a whore, a bawd, a drudge;
Fit to runne out on errands: Let her goe.
_Via pecunia!_ when ſhe’s runne and gone,
And fled and dead; then will I fetch her, againe,
With _Aqua-vitæ_, out of an old Hogs-head! 5
While there are lees of wine, or dregs of beere,
I’le neuer want her! Coyne her out of cobwebs,
Duſt, but I’ll haue her! Raiſe wooll vpon egge-ſhells,
Sir, and make graſe grow out o’ marro-bones.
To make her come. (Commend mee to your Miſtreſſe, 10
_To a waiter._
Say, let the thouſand pound but be had ready,
And it is done) I would but ſee the creature
(Of fleſh, and blood) the man, the _prince_, indeed,
That could imploy ſo many millions
As I would help him to.

FIT. How, talks he? millions? 15

MER. (I’ll giue you an account of this to morrow.)
Yes, I will talke no leſſe, and doe it too;
_To another._
If they were _Myriades_: and without the _Diuell_,
By direct meanes, it ſhall be good in law.

ING. Sir. [112]

MER. Tell M^r. _Wood-cock_, I’ll not faile to meet him 20
_To a third._
Vpon th’ _Exchange_ at night. Pray him to haue
The writings there, and wee’ll diſpatch it. Sir,
_He turnes to_ Fitz-dottrel.
You are a Gentleman of a good preſence,
A handſome man (I haue conſidered you)
As a fit ſtocke to graft honours vpon: 25
I haue a proiect to make you a _Duke_, now.
That you muſt be one, within ſo many moneths,
As I ſet downe, out of true reaſon of ſtate,
You ſha’ not auoyd it. But you muſt harken, then.

ING. Harken? why S^r, do you doubt his eares? Alas! 30
You doe not know Maſter _Fitz-dottrel_.

FIT. He do’s not know me indeed. I thank you, _Ingine_,
For rectifying him.

MER. Good! Why, _Ingine_, then
_He turnes to_ Ingine.
I’le tell it you. (I see you ha’ credit, here,
And, that you can keepe counſell, I’ll not queſtion.) 35
Hee ſhall but be an vndertaker with mee,
In a moſt feaſible bus’neſſe. It shall cost him
Nothing.

ING. Good, S^r.

MER. Except he pleaſe, but’s count’nance;
(That I will haue) t’appeare in’t, to great men,
For which I’ll make him one. Hee ſhall not draw 40
A ſtring of’s purſe. I’ll driue his pattent for him.
We’ll take in Cittizens, _Commoners_, and _Aldermen_,
To beare the charge, and blow ’hem off againe,
Like ſo many dead flyes, when ’tis carryed.
The thing is for recouery of drown’d land, 45
Whereof the _Crowne’s_ to haue his moiety,
If it be owner; Elſe, the _Crowne_ and Owners
To ſhare that moyety: and the recouerers
T’enioy the tother moyety, for their charge.

ING. Thorowout _England_?

MER. Yes, which will ariſe 50
To eyghteene _millions_, ſeuen the firſt yeere:
I haue computed all, and made my ſuruay
Vnto an acre. I’ll beginne at the Pan,
Not, at the skirts: as ſome ha’ done, and loſt,
All that they wrought, their timber-worke, their trench, 55
Their bankes all borne away, or elſe fill’d vp
By the next winter. Tut, they neuer went
The way: I’ll haue it all.

ING. A gallant tract
Of land it is!

MER. ’Twill yeeld a pound an acre.
Wee muſt let cheape, euer, at firſt. But Sir, 60
This lookes too large for you, I ſee. Come hither,
We’ll haue a leſſe. Here’s a plain fellow, you ſee him,
Has his black bag of papers, there, in Buckram,
Wi’ not be ſold for th’Earledome of _Pancridge_: Draw,
Gi’ me out one, by chance. Proiect. 4. _Dog-skinnes?_ 65
Twelue thouſand pound! the very worſt, at firſt. [113]

FIT. Pray, you let’s ſee’t Sir.

MER. ’Tis a toy, a trifle!

FIT. Trifle! 12. thouſand pound for dogs-skins?

MER. Yes,
But, by my way of dreſſing, you muſt know, Sir,
And med’cining the leather, to a height 70
Of improu’d ware, like your _Borachio_
Of _Spaine_, Sir. I can fetch nine thouſand for’t--

ING. Of the Kings glouer?

MER. Yes, how heard you that?

ING. Sir, I doe know you can.

MER. Within this houre:
And reſerue halfe my ſecret. Pluck another; 75
See if thou haſt a happier hand: I thought ſo.
_Hee pluckes out the 2. Bottle-ale._
The very next worſe to it! Bottle-ale.
Yet, this is two and twenty thouſand! Pr’y thee
Pull out another, two or three.

FIT. Good, ſtay, friend,
By bottle-ale, two and twenty thouſand pound? 80

MER. Yes, Sir, it’s caſt to penny-hal’penny-farthing,
O’ the back-ſide, there you may ſee it, read,
I will not bate a _Harrington_ o’ the ſumme.
I’ll winne it i’ my water, and my malt,
My furnaces, and hanging o’ my coppers, 85
The tonning, and the ſubtilty o’ my yeſt;
And, then the earth of my bottles, which I dig,
Turne vp, and ſteepe, and worke, and neale, my ſelfe,
To a degree of _Porc’lane_. You will wonder,
At my proportions, what I will put vp 90
In ſeuen yeeres! for ſo long time, I aske
For my inuention. I will ſaue in cork,
In my mere ſtop’ling, ’boue three thouſand pound,
Within that terme: by googing of ’hem out
Iuſt to the ſize of my bottles, and not ſlicing, 95
There’s infinite loſſe i’ that. What haſt thou there?
O’ making wine of raiſins: this is in hand, now,
_Hee drawes out another_. Raiſines.

ING. Is not that ſtrange, S^r, to make wine of raiſins?

MER. Yes, and as true a wine, as the wines of _France_,
Or _Spaine_, or _Italy_, Looke of what grape 100
My raiſin is, that wine I’ll render perfect,
As of the _muſcatell_ grape, I’ll render _muſcatell_;
Of the _Canary_, his; the _Claret_, his;
So of all kinds: and bate you of the prices,
Of wine, throughout the kingdome, halfe in halfe. 105

ING. But, how, S^r, if you raiſe the other commodity, Rayſins?

MER. Why, then I’ll make it out of blackberries:
And it ſhall doe the ſame. ’Tis but more art,
And the charge leſſe. Take out another.

FIT. No, good Sir.
Saue you the trouble, I’le not looke, nor heare 110
Of any, but your firſt, there; the _Drown’d-land_:
If’t will doe, as you ſay.

MER. Sir, there’s not place,
To gi’ you demonſtration of theſe things. [114]
They are a little to ſubtle. But, I could ſhew you
Such a neceſſity in’t, as you muſt be 115
But what you pleaſe: againſt the receiu’d hereſie,
That _England_ beares no Dukes. Keepe you the land, S^r,
The greatneſſe of th’ eſtate ſhall throw’t vpon you.
If you like better turning it to money,
What may not you, S^r, purchaſe with that wealth? 120
Say, you ſhould part with two o’ your millions,
To be the thing you would, who would not do’t?
As I proteſt, I will, out of my diuident,
Lay, for ſome pretty principality,
In _Italy_, from the Church: Now, you perhaps, 125
Fancy the ſmoake of _England_, rather? But--
Ha’ you no priuate roome, Sir, to draw to,
T’enlarge our ſelues more vpon.

FIT. O yes, _Diuell_!

MER. Theſe, Sir, are bus’neſſes, aske to be carryed
With caution, and in cloud.

FIT. I apprehend, 130
They doe ſo, S^r. _Diuell_, which way is your Miſtreſſe?

PVG. Aboue, S^r. in her chamber.

FIT. O that’s well.
Then, this way, good, Sir.

MER. I ſhall follow you; _Traines_,
Gi’ mee the bag, and goe you preſently,
Commend my ſeruice to my Lady _Tail-buſh_. 135
Tell her I am come from Court this morning; ſay,
I’haue got our bus’neſſe mou’d, and well: Intreat her,
That ſhee giue you the four-ſcore Angels, and ſee ’hem
Diſpos’d of to my Councel, Sir _Poul Eytherſide_.
Sometime, to day, I’ll waite vpon her Ladiſhip, 140
With the relation.

ING. Sir, of what diſpatch,
He is! Do you marke?

MER. _Ingine_, when did you ſee
My couſin _Euer-ill_? keepes he ſtill your quarter?
I’ the _Bermudas_?

ING. Yes, Sir, he was writing
This morning, very hard.

MER. Be not you knowne to him,
That I am come to Towne: I haue effected 146
A buſineſſe for him, but I would haue it take him,
Before he thinks for’t.

ING. Is it paſt?

MER. Not yet.
’Tis well o’ the way.

ING. O Sir! your worſhip takes
Infinit paines.

MER. I loue Friends, to be actiue: 150
A ſluggish nature puts off man, and kinde.

ING. And ſuch a bleſſing followes it.

MER. I thanke
My fate. Pray you let’s be priuate, Sir?

FIT. In, here.

MER. Where none may interrupt vs.

FIT. You heare, _Diuel_,
Lock the ſtreete-doores faſt, and let no one in 155
(Except they be this Gentlemans followers)
To trouble mee. Doe you marke? Yo’ haue heard and ſeene
Something, to day; and, by it, you may gather
Your Miſtreſſe is a fruite, that’s worth the ſtealing
And therefore worth the watching. Be you ſure, now [115]
Yo’ haue all your eyes about you; and let in 161
No lace-woman; nor bawd, that brings French-maſques,
And cut-works. See you? Nor old croanes, with wafers,
To conuey letters. Nor no youths, diſguis’d
Like country-wiues, with creame, and marrow-puddings. 165
Much knauery may be vented in a pudding,
Much bawdy intelligence: They’are ſhrewd ciphers.
Nor turne the key to any neyghbours neede;
Be’t but to kindle fire, or begg a little,
Put it out, rather: all out, to an aſhe, 170
That they may ſee no ſmoake. Or water, ſpill it:
Knock o’ the empty tubs, that by the ſound,
They may be forbid entry. Say, wee are robb’d,
If any come to borrow a ſpoone, or ſo.
I wi’ not haue good fortune, or gods bleſſing 175
Let in, while I am buſie.

PVG. I’le take care, Sir:
They ſha’ not trouble you, if they would.

FIT. Well, doe ſo.

[265] SD. MEER. ...] _A Room in_ Fitzdottrel’s _House. Enter_ FITZDOTTREL, ENGINE, _and_ MEERCRAFT, _followed by_ TRAINS _with a bag, and three or four Attendants_. G

[266] 1 ’s] is G

[267] 10 SN. _To_ ...] [_To 1 Attendant._] G

[268] 12 done. [_Exit 1 Attend._] G

[269] 14 employ W, G

[270] 15 How, talks] How talks 1716, f.

[271] 17 SN.] [_To 2 Attendant._] [_Exit 2 Atten._ G || talke]
take 1641, 1716, f.

[272] 18 _Myriads_ 1716 Myriads W myriads G

[273] 20 SN. om. 1641, 1692. 1716, W [_to 3 Atten._] G || M^r.]
master G passim

[274] 22 it. [_Exit 3 Atten._] G || SN. om. 1641, f.

[275] 24 () om. W

[276] 28 reasons G

[277] 29 sha’] shall G

[278] 33 SN. om. 1641. f.

[279] 34 it om. 1641

[280] 34, 35, 39 () ret. G

[281] 44 ’tis] it is G

[282] 46 his] a 1641, f.

[283] 50 Throughout 1641, 1692, 1716, W Thoroughout G

[284] 53 an] my 1692, f.

[285] 62 fellow, [_points to Trains_] G

[286] 64 Wi’] Will W, G

[287] 65 chance. [_Trains gives him a paper out of the bag._] G || Project; foure 1641 Project: four 1692, 1716 Project four; W Project four: G || Dog-skinnes] dogs-skins 1641 Dogs Skins 1692, 1716 dogs skins W Dogs’ skins G

[288] 67 see’t] see it G

[289] 68 MER. Yes,] included in line 69 1692, 1716, W

[290] 69 my om. 1641

[291] 76 SN. _Hee_ ...] [_Trains draws out another._] (after ‘hand:’ 76) G

[292] 78 Pr’y thee] Pry’thee W Prithee G

[293] 78-80 Pr’y thee--pound? om. 1692, 1716

[294] 81 hal’] half G

[295] 89 Proc’lane 1641 porcelane G

[296] 93 above G

[297] 97 O’] O! G || SN.] [_Trains draws out another._] G

[298] 99 a om. 1641

[299] 103 Of the] Of 1641

[300] 114 subtile 1692, 1716, W

[301] 115 in’t] in it G

[302] 123 Dividend 1716 dividend W, G

[303] 124 petty 1692, 1716, W

[304] 131 so om. G sir.--_Enter_ PUG. G

[305] 137 entreat W, G

[306] 141 relation. [_Exit Trains._ G

[307] 142 mark? [_Aside to Fitz._ G

[308] 150 love] love, 1716, W

[309] 154 us. [_Exeunt Meer. and Engine._ G

[310] 157, 161 Yo’haue] You’ve 1716, W

[311] 169 ’t] it G

[312] 175 will G§ good fortune, gods blessing] G capitalizes throughout.

[313] 177 _Exit._ G SD. om. G

ACT. II. SCENE. II.

PVG. Miſtreſſe FITZDOTTRELL.

I haue no ſingular ſeruice of this, now?
Nor no ſuperlatiue Maſter? I ſhall wiſh
To be in hell againe, at leaſure? Bring,
A _Vice_ from thence? That had bin ſuch a ſubtilty,
As to bring broad-clothes hither: or tranſport 5
Freſh oranges into _Spaine_. I finde it, now:
My _Chiefe_ was i’ the right. Can any feind
Boaſt of a better _Vice_, then heere by nature,
And art, th’are owners of? Hell ne’r owne mee,
But I am taken! the fine tract of it 10
Pulls mee along! To heare men ſuch profeſſors
Growne in our ſubtleſt _Sciences_! My firſt _Act_, now,
Shall be, to make this Maſter of mine cuckold:
The primitiue worke of darkneſſe, I will practiſe!
I will deſerue ſo well of my faire Miſtreſſe, 15
By my diſcoueries, firſt; my counſells after;
And keeping counſell, after that: as who,
So euer, is one, I’le be another, ſure,
I’ll ha’ my ſhare. Most delicate damn’d fleſh!
Shee will be! O! that I could ſtay time, now, [116] 20
Midnight will come too faſt vpon mee, I feare,
To cut my pleaſure--

M^rs. FI. Looke at the back-doore,
_Shee ſends_ Diuell _out_.
One knocks, ſee who it is.

PVG. Dainty _ſhe-Diuell_!

M^rs. FI. I cannot get this venter of the cloake,
Out of my fancie; nor the Gentlemans way, 25
He tooke, which though ’twere ſtrange, yet ’twas handſome,
And had a grace withall, beyond the newneſſe.
Sure he will thinke mee that dull ſtupid creature,
Hee ſaid, and may conclude it; if I finde not
Some thought to thanke th’ attemp. He did preſume, 30
By all the carriage of it, on my braine,
For anſwer; and will ſweare ’tis very barren,
If it can yeeld him no returne. Who is it?

Diuell _returnes_.

PVG. Miſtreſſe, it is, but firſt, let me aſſure
The excellence, of Miſtreſſes, I am, 35
Although my Maſters man, my Miſstreſſe ſlaue,
The ſeruant of her ſecrets, and ſweete turnes,
And know, what fitly will conduce to either.

M^rs. FI. What’s this? I pray you come to your ſelfe and thinke
What your part is: to make an anſwer. Tell, 40
Who is it at the doore?

PVG. The Gentleman, M^rs,
Who was at the cloake-charge to ſpeake with you,
This morning, who expects onely to take
Some ſmall command’ments from you, what you pleaſe,
Worthy your forme, hee ſaies, and gentleſt manners. 45

M^rs. FI. O! you’ll anon proue his hyr’d man, I feare,
What has he giu’n you, for this meſſage? Sir,
Bid him put off his hopes of ſtraw, and leaue
To ſpread his nets, in view, thus. Though they take
Maſter _Fitz-dottrell_, I am no ſuch foule, 50
Nor faire one, tell him, will be had with ſtalking.
And wiſh him to for-beare his acting to mee,
At the Gentlemans chamber-window in _Lincolnes-Inne_ there,
That opens to my gallery: elſe, I ſweare
T’acquaint my huſband with his folly, and leaue him 55
To the iuſt rage of his offended iealouſie.
Or if your Maſters ſenſe be not ſo quicke
To right mee, tell him, I ſhall finde a friend
That will repaire mee. Say, I will be quiet.
In mine owne houſe? Pray you, in thoſe words giue it him. 60

PVG. This is ſome foole turn’d!

_He goes out._

M^rs. FI. If he be the Maſter,
Now, of that ſtate and wit, which I allow him;
Sure, hee will vnderſtand mee: I durſt not
Be more direct. For this officious fellow,
My husbands new groome, is a ſpie vpon me, 65
I finde already. Yet, if he but tell him
This in my words, hee cannot but conceiue [117]
Himſelfe both apprehended, and requited.
I would not haue him thinke hee met a _ſtatue_:
Or ſpoke to one, not there, though I were ſilent. 70
How now? ha’ you told him?

PVG. Yes.

M^rs. FI. And what ſaies he?

PVG. Sayes he? That which my ſelf would ſay to you, if I durſt.
That you are proude, ſweet Miſtreſſe? and with-all,
A little ignorant, to entertaine
The good that’s proffer’d; and (by your beauties leaue) 75
Not all ſo wiſe, as ſome true politique wife
Would be: who hauing match’d with ſuch a _Nupſon_
(I ſpeake it with my Maſters peace) whoſe face
Hath left t’accuſe him, now, for’t doth confeſſe him,
What you can make him; will yet (out of ſcruple, 80
And a ſpic’d conſcience) defraud the poore Gentleman,
At leaſt delay him in the thing he longs for,
And makes it hs whole ſtudy, how to compaſſe,
Onely a title. Could but he write _Cuckold_,
He had his ends. For, looke you--

M^rs. FI. This can be 85
None but my husbands wit.

PVG. My pretious M^rs.

M. FI. It creaks his _Ingine_: The groome neuer durſt
Be, elſe, so ſaucy--

PVG. If it were not clearely,
His worſhipfull ambition; and the top of it;
The very forked top too: why ſhould hee 90
Keepe you, thus mur’d vp in a back-roome, Miſtreſſe,
Allow you ne’r a caſement to the ſtreete,
Feare of engendering by the eyes, with gallants,
Forbid you paper, pen and inke, like Rats-bane.
Search your halfe pint of _muſcatell_, leſt a letter 95
Be ſuncke i’ the pot: and hold your new-laid egge
Againſt the fire, leſt any charme be writ there?
Will you make benefit of truth, deare Miſtreſſe,
If I doe tell it you: I do’t not often?
I am ſet ouer you, imploy’d, indeed, 100
To watch your ſteps, your lookes, your very breathings,
And to report them to him. Now, if you
Will be a true, right, delicate ſweete Miſtreſſe,
Why, wee will make a _Cokes_ of this _Wiſe Maſter_,
We will, my Miſtreſſe, an abſolute fine _Cokes_, 105
And mock, to ayre, all the deepe diligences
Of ſuch a ſolemne, and effectuall Aſſe,
An Aſſe to ſo good purpoſe, as wee’ll vſe him.
I will contriue it ſo, that you ſhall goe
To _Playes_, to _Maſques_, to _Meetings_, and to _Feaſts_. 110
For, why is all this Rigging, and fine Tackle, Miſtris,
If you neat handſome veſſells, of good ſayle,
Put not forth euer, and anon, with your nets
Abroad into the world. It is your fiſhing. [118]
There, you ſhal chooſe your friends, your ſeruants, Lady,
Your ſquires of honour; I’le conuey your letters, 116
Fetch anſwers, doe you all the offices,
That can belong to your bloud, and beauty. And,
For the variety, at my times, although
I am not in due _ſymmetrie_, the man 120
Of that proportion; or in rule
Of _phyſicke_, of the iuſt complexion:
Or of that truth of _Picardill_, in clothes,
To boaſt a ſoueraignty o’re Ladies: yet
I know, to do my turnes, ſweet Miſtreſſe. Come, kiſſe--

M^rs. FI. How now!

PVG. Deare delicate Miſt. I am your ſlaue, 126
Your little _worme_, that loues you: your fine _Monkey_;
Your _Dogge_, your _Iacke_, your _Pug_, that longs to be
Stil’d, o’ your pleaſures.

M^rs. FIT. Heare you all this? Sir, Pray you,
Come from your ſtanding, doe, a little, ſpare 130
_Shee thinkes her huſband watches._
Your ſelfe, Sir, from your watch, t’applaud your _Squire_,
That ſo well followes your inſtructions!

[314] 5 cloths G

[315] 9 they’re 1716, f. || never G

[316] 18 I will G

[317] 22 pleasure--_Enter Mrs._ FITZDOTTREL. SN. om. G

[318] 23 [_Aside and exit._ G

[319] 24 venture 1692, f.

[320] 26 it was G

[321] 30 attempt 1641, f.

[322] 33 SN.] _Re-enter_ PUG. G

[323] 34 it is,] it is--W

[324] 41 it om. 1692, f. || M^rs] Mistresse 1641 Mistris 1692 Mistress
1716 mistress W, G

[325] 48 put 1641, f.

[326] 59 Period om. after ‘quiet’ 1716, f.

[327] 61 SN.] [_Exit._ G

[328] 70 _Re-enter_ PUG. G

[329] 78, 80, 81 () ret. G

[330] 79 ’t] it G

[331] 84 hs] his 1641, f.

[332] 86 M^rs. as in 2. 2. 41 || wit. [_Aside._ G

[333] 88 saucy. [_Aside_. G

[334] 91 black Room 1716

[335] 93 engendring 1641

[336] 100 employ’d 1716, f.

[337] 112 your G

[338] 123 _Piccardell_ 1641

[339] 126 Mist.] as in 2. 2. 41

[340] 130 _Mrs. Fitz._ [_aloud_]

[341] 131 SN. om. G

ACT. II. SCENE. III.

FITZ-DOTTRELL. Miſtreſſe FITZ-DOTTREL. PVG.

How now, ſweet heart? what’s the matter?

M^rs. FI. Good!
You are a ſtranger to the plot! you ſet not
Your fancy _Diuell_, here, to tempt your wife,
With all the inſolent vnciuill language,
Or action, he could vent?

FIT. Did you so, _Diuell_? 5

M^rs. FIT. Not you? you were not planted i’ your hole to heare him,
Vpo’ the ſtayres? or here, behinde the hangings?
I doe not know your qualities? he durſt doe it,
And you not giue directions?

FIT. You shall ſee, wife,
Whether he durſt, or no: and what it was, 10
I did direct.

_Her huſband goes out, and enters presently with a
cudgell vpon him._

PVG. Sweet Miſtreſſe, are you mad?

FIT. You moſt mere Rogue! you open manifeſt Villaine!
You Feind apparant you! you declar’d Hel-hound!

PVG. Good S^r.

FIT. Good Knaue, good Raſcal, and good Traitor.
Now, I doe finde you parcel-_Diuell_, indeed. 15
Vpo’ the point of truſt? I’ your firſt charge?
The very day o’ your probation?
To tempt your Miſtreſſe? You doe ſee, good wedlocke,
How I directed him.

M^rs. FIT. Why, where S^r? were you? [119]

FIT. Nay, there is one blow more, for exerciſe: 20
_After a pause. He ſtrikes him againe_
I told you, I ſhould doe it.

PVG. Would you had done, Sir.

FIT. O wife, the rareſt man! yet there’s another
To put you in mind o’ the laſt, ſuch a braue man, wife!
Within, he has his proiects, and do’s vent ’hem,
_and againe._
The gallanteſt! where you _tentiginous_? ha? 25
Would you be acting of the _Incubus_?
Did her ſilks ruſtling moue you?

PVG. Gentle Sir.

FIT. Out of my ſight. If thy name were not _Diuell_,
Thou ſhouldſt not ſtay a minute with me. In,
Goe, yet ſtay: yet goe too. I am reſolu’d. 30
What I will doe: and you ſhall know’t afore-hand.
Soone as the Gentleman is gone, doe you heare?
I’ll helpe your liſping. Wife, ſuch a man, wife!
Diuell _goes out_.
He has ſuch plots! He will make mee a _Duke_!
No leſſe, by heauen! ſix Mares, to your coach, wife! 35
That’s your proportion! And your coach-man bald!
Becauſe he ſhall be bare, inough. Doe not you laugh,
We are looking for a place, and all, i’ the map
What to be of. Haue faith, be not an Infidell.
You know, I am not eaſie to be gull’d. 40
I ſweare, when I haue my _millions_, elſe. I’ll make
Another _Dutcheſſe_: if you ha’ not faith.

M^rs. FI. You’ll ha’ too much, I feare, in theſe falſe ſpirits.

FIT. Spirits? O, no such thing! wife! wit, mere wit!
This man defies the _Diuell_, and all his works! 45
He dos’t by _Ingine_, and deuiſes, hee!
He has his winged ploughes, that goe with ſailes,
Will plough you forty acres, at once! and mills.
Will ſpout you water, ten miles off! All _Crowland_
Is ours, wife; and the fens, from vs, in _Norfolke_, 50
To the vtmoſt bound of _Lincoln-ſhire_! we haue view’d it,
And meaſur’d it within all; by the ſcale!
The richeſt tract of land, Loue, i’ the kingdome!
There will be made ſeuenteene, or eighteene _millions_;
Or more, as’t may be handled! wherefore, thinke, 55
Sweet heart, if th’ haſt a fancy to one place,
More then another, to be _Dutcheſſe_ of;
Now, name it: I will ha’t what ere it coſt,
(If’t will be had for money) either here, 59
Or’n _France_, or _Italy_.

M^rs. FI. You ha’ ſtrange phantaſies!

[342] SD. om. _Enter_ FITZDOTTREL. G

[343] 1 ’s] is G

[344] 2 set] see W

[345] 7 upon G§

[346] 10, 11 Whether ... direct.] All in line 10. 1692, 1716

[347] 11 SN.] [_Exit. Re-enter_ FITZDOTTREL _with a cudgel_. G

[348] 18 mistress! [_Beats Pug._ G

[349] 20 SN.] [_Strikes him again._ G

[350] 22, 23 yet ... last] euclosed by () W, G

[351] 23 o’ ret. G

[352] 25 where] were 1716, W Were G

[353] 24 SN.] [_Beats him again._] G

[354] 33 SN.] [_Exit Pug._] G

[355] 46 _Engine_ 1716 Engine W engine G

[356] 51 bounds 1692, f. || of] in G

[357] 56 th’] thou G

[358] 58 have ’t G

[359] 60 Or’n] Or’in 1692 Or in 1716, f.

ACT. II. SCENE. IV.

MERE-CRAFT. FITZ-DOTTRELL.
INGINE.

Where are you, Sir?

FIT. I ſee thou haſt no _talent_ [120]
This way, wife. Vp to thy gallery; doe, _Chuck_,
Leaue vs to talke of it, who vnderſtand it.

MER. I thinke we ha’ found a place to fit you, now, Sir.
_Gloc’ſter_.

FIT. O, no, I’ll none!

MER. Why, S^r?

FIT. Tis fatall. 5

MER. That you ſay right in. _Spenſer_, I thinke, the younger,
Had his laſt honour thence. But, he was but _Earle_.

FIT. I know not that, Sir. But _Thomas_ of _Woodſtocke_,
I’m ſure, was _Duke_, and he was made away,
At _Calice_; as _Duke Humphrey_ was at _Bury_: 10
And _Richard_ the third, you know what end he came too.

MER. By m’faith you are cunning i’ the _Chronicle_, Sir.

FIT. No, I confeſſe I ha’t from the _Play-bookes_,
And thinke they’are more _authentique_.

ING. That’s ſure, Sir.

MER. What ſay you (to this then)

_He whiſpers him of a place._

FIT. No, a noble houſe. 15
Pretends to that. I will doe no man wrong.

MER. Then take one propoſition more, and heare it
As paſt exception.

FIT. What’s that?

MER. To be
_Duke_ of thoſe lands, you ſhall recouer; take
Your title, thence, Sir, _Duke_ of the _Drown’d lands_, 20
Or _Drown’d-land_.

FIT. Ha? that laſt has a good ſound!
I like it well. The _Duke_ of _Drown’d-land_?

ING. Yes;
It goes like _Groen-land_, Sir, if you marke it.

MER. I,
And drawing thus your honour from the worke,
You make the reputation of that, greater; 25
And ſtay’t the longer i’ your name.

FIT. ’Tis true.
_Drown’d-lands_ will liue in _Drown’d-land_!

MER. Yes, when you
Ha’ no foote left; as that muſt be, Sir, one day.
And, though it tarry in your heyres, some _forty_,
_Fifty_ deſcents, the longer liuer, at laſt, yet, 30
Muſt thruſt ’hem out on’t: if no quirk in law,
Or odde _Vice_ o’ their owne not do’it firſt.
Wee ſee thoſe changes, daily: the faire lands,
That were the _Clyents_, are the _Lawyers_, now:
And thoſe rich Mannors, there, of good man _Taylors_, 35
Had once more wood vpon ’hem, then the yard,
By which th’ were meaſur’d out for the laſt purchaſe. [121]
Nature hath theſe viciſſitudes. Shee makes
No man a ſtate of perpetuety, Sir.

FIT. Yo’ are i’ the right. Let’s in then, and conclude. 40
_Hee ſpies_ Diuell.
I my ſight, againe? I’ll talke with you, anon.

[360] SD. ACT. ...] om. _Enter_ MEERCRAFT _and_ ENGINE. G

[361] 3 [_Exit Mrs. Fitz._ G

[362] 6 comma after ‘thinke’ om. 1692, f.

[363] 12 m’] my W, G

[364] 13 have it G

[365] 14,18 ’s] is W, G

[366] 15 SN.] [_whispers him._] G

[367] 15 period after ‘house’ om. 1716, f.

[368] 26 ’t] it G

[369] 32 do’t 1641

[370] 37 th’] they G

[371] 40 You’re 1716, W || SN.] _Re-enter_ PUG. G

[372] 41 [_Exeunt Fitz. Meer. and Engine._ G || I] I’ 1716, W In G

ACT. II. SCENE. V.

PVG.

Svre hee will geld mee, if I stay: or worſe,
Pluck out my tongue, one o’ the two. This Foole,
There is no truſting of him: and to quit him,
Were a contempt againſt my _Chiefe_, paſt pardon.
It was a ſhrewd diſheartning this, at firſt! 5
Who would ha’ thought a woman ſo well harneſs’d,
Or rather well-capariſon’d, indeed,
That weares ſuch petticoates, and lace to her ſmocks,
Broad ſeaming laces (as I ſee ’hem hang there)
And garters which are loſt, if ſhee can ſhew ’hem, 10
Could ha’ done this? _Hell!_ why is ſhee ſo braue?
It cannot be to pleaſe _Duke Dottrel_, ſure,
Nor the dull pictures, in her gallery,
Nor her owne deare reflection, in her glaſſe;
Yet that may be: I haue knowne many of ’hem, 15
Beginne their pleaſure, but none end it, there:
(That I conſider, as I goe a long with it)
They may, for want of better company,
Or that they thinke the better, ſpend an houre;
Two, three, or foure, diſcourſing with their ſhaddow: 20
But ſure they haue a farther ſpeculation.
No woman dreſt with ſo much care, and ſtudy,
Doth dreſſe her ſelfe in vaine. I’ll vexe this _probleme_,
A little more, before I leaue it, ſure.

[373] SD. om. G

[374] 5 disheartening G

[375] 9 () ret. G

[376] 17 () ret. G

[377] 24 [_Exit._ G

ACT. IJ. SCENE. VI.

WITTIPOL. MANLY. Miſtreſſe FITZ-DOTTREL.
PVG.

This was a fortune, happy aboue thought, [122]
That this ſhould proue thy chamber: which I fear’d
Would be my greateſt trouble! this muſt be
The very window, and that the roome.

MAN. It is.
I now remember, I haue often ſeene there 5
A woman, but I neuer mark’d her much.

WIT. Where was your ſoule, friend?

MAN. Faith, but now, and then,
Awake vnto thoſe obiects.

WIT. You pretend ſo.
Let mee not liue, if I am not in loue
More with her wit, for this direction, now, 10
Then with her forme, though I ha’ prais’d that prettily,
Since I ſaw her, and you, to day. Read thoſe.
_Hee giues him a paper, wherein is the copy of a Song._
They’ll goe vnto the ayre you loue ſo well.
Try ’hem vnto the note, may be the muſique
Will call her ſooner; light, ſhee’s here. Sing quickly. 15

M^rs. FIT. Either he vnderſtood him not: or elſe,
The fellow was not faithfull in deliuery,
Of what I bad. And, I am iuſtly pay’d,
That might haue made my profit of his ſeruice,
But, by miſ-taking, haue drawne on his enuy, 20
And done the worſe defeate vpon my ſelfe.
Manly _ſings_, Pug _enters perceiues it_.
How! Muſique? then he may be there: and is sure.

PVG. O! Is it ſo? Is there the enter-view?
Haue I drawne to you, at laſt, my cunning _Lady_?
The _Diuell_ is an _Aſſe_! fool’d off! and beaten! 25
Nay, made an inſtrument! and could not ſent it!
Well, ſince yo’ haue ſhowne the malice of a woman,
No leſſe then her true wit, and learning, Miſtreſſe,
I’ll try, if little _Pug_ haue the malignity
To recompence it, and ſo ſaue his danger. 30
’Tis not the paine, but the diſcredite of it,
The _Diuell_ ſhould not keepe a body intire.

WIT. Away, fall backe, ſhe comes.

MAN. I’ll leaue you, Sir,
The Maſter of my chamber. I haue buſineſſe.

WIT. M^rs!

M^rs. FI. You make me paint, S^r.

WIT. The’are faire colours, 35
_Lady_, and naturall! I did receiue
Some commands from you, lately, gentle _Lady_, [123]
_This Scene is acted at two windo’s as out of_
_two contiguous buildings._
But ſo perplex’d, and wrap’d in the deliuery,
As I may feare t’haue miſ-interpreted:
But muſt make ſuit ſtill, to be neere your grace. 40

M^rs. FI. Who is there with you, S^r?

WIT. None, but my ſelfe.
It falls out. _Lady_, to be a deare friends lodging.
Wherein there’s ſome conſpiracy of fortune
With your poore ſeruants bleſ affections.

M^rs. FI. Who was it ſung?

WIT. He, _Lady_, but hee’s gone, 45
Vpon my entreaty of him, ſeeing you
Approach the window. Neither need you doubt him,
If he were here. He is too much a gentleman.

M^rs. FI. Sir, if you iudge me by this ſimple action,
And by the outward habite, and complexion 50
Of eaſineſſe, it hath, to your deſigne;
You may with Iuſtice, ſay, I am a woman:
And a ſtrange woman. But when you ſhall pleaſe,
To bring but that concurrence of my fortune,
To memory, which to day your ſelfe did vrge: 55
It may beget ſome fauour like excuſe,
Though none like reaſon.

WIT. No, my tune-full Miſtreſſe?
Then, ſurely, _Loue_ hath none: nor _Beauty_ any;
Nor _Nature_ violenced, in both theſe:
With all whoſe gentle tongues you ſpeake, at once. 60
I thought I had inough remou’d, already,
That ſcruple from your breſt, and left yo’ all reaſon;
When, through my mornings perſpectiue I ſhewd you
A man ſo aboue excuſe, as he is the cauſe,
Why any thing is to be done vpon him: 65
And nothing call’d an iniury, miſ-plac’d.
I’rather, now had hope, to ſhew you how _Loue_
By his acceſſes, growes more naturall:
And, what was done, this morning, with ſuch force
Was but deuis’d to ſerue the preſent, then. 70
That ſince _Loue_ hath the honour to approach
_He grows more familiar in his Court-ſhip._
Theſe ſiſter-ſwelling breſts; and touch this ſoft,
And roſie hand; hee hath the skill to draw
Their _Nectar_ forth, with kiſſing; and could make
More wanton ſalts, from this braue promontory, 75
Downe to this valley, then the nimble _Roe_;
_playes with her paps, kiſſeth her hands, &c._
Could play the hopping _Sparrow_, ’bout theſe nets;
And ſporting _Squirell_ in theſe criſped groues;
Bury himſelfe in euery _Silke-wormes_ kell,
Is here vnrauell’d; runne into the ſnare, 80
Which euery hayre is, caſt into a curle,
To catch a _Cupid_ flying: Bath himselfe
In milke, and roſes, here, and dry him, there;
Warme his cold hands, to play with this ſmooth, round, [124]
And well torn’d chin, as with the _Billyard_ ball; 85
Rowle on theſe lips, the banks of loue, and there
At once both plant, and gather kiſſes. _Lady_,
Shall I, with what I haue made to day here, call
All ſenſe to wonder, and all faith to ſigne
The myſteries reuealed in your forme? 90
And will _Loue_ pardon mee the blasphemy
I vtter’d, when I ſaid, a glaſſe could ſpeake
This beauty, or that fooles had power to iudge it?

_Doe but looke, on her eyes! They doe light--
All that_ Loue’s _world comprizeth! 95
Doe but looke on her hayre! it is bright,
As_ Loue’s _ſtarre, when it riſeth!
Doe but marke, her fore-head’s ſmoother,
Then words that ſooth her!
And from her arched browes, ſuch a grace 100
Sheds it ſelfe through the face;
As alone, there triumphs to the life,
All the gaine, all the good, of the elements ſtrife!_

_Haue you ſeene but a bright Lilly grow,
Before rude hands haue touch’d it? 105
Haue you mark’d but the fall of the Snow,
Before the ſoyle hath ſmuch’d it?
Haue you felt the wooll o’ the Beuer?
Or Swans downe, euer?
Or, haue ſmelt o’ the bud o’ the Bryer? 110
Or the Nard i’ the fire?
Or, haue taſted the bag o’ the Bee?
O, ſo white! O, ſo ſoft! O, ſo ſweet is ſhee!_

[378] SD. ACT. ...] om. SCENE II. Manly’s _Chambers in Lincoln’s Inn, opposite_ Fitzdottrel’s _House. Enter_ WITTIPOL _and_ MANLY. G

[379] 12 SN.] [_Gives him the copy of a song._ G

[380] 15 _Mrs._ FITZDOTTREL _appears at a window of her house fronting
that of Manly’s Chambers_. G

[381] 21 worst W || SN. _enters_] _enters and_ 1716, W || Manly ...]
_Manly sings. Enter_ PUG _behind_. G

[382] 23 interview W, G

[383] 24 least W

[384] 27 you’ve 1716, W

[385] 32 entire W, G || [_Aside and exit._ G

[386] 33 I’ll] I W, G

[387] 34 [_Exit_. G

[388] 35 M^rs!] Mis! 1641 the rest as in 2. 2. 41 || They’re 1716, W
they are G || _Mrs. Fitz._ [_advances to the window._] G

[389] 35, 36 The’are ... receiue] one line 1692, 1716, W

[390] 37 SN. om. G

[391] 39 t’] to 1692, f.

[392] 62 y’all 1716, W

[393] 64 he’s W, G

[394] 71, 76 SN. om. G

[395] 75 ’salts 1692 ’saults 1716

[396] 81 is, cast] is cast 1716, W

[397] 88 I’ve W

[398] 98 head’s] head 1641

[399] 100 a om. 1641

[400] 106 of the] the 1641

[401] 108, 112 o’] of W

[402] 108 Beuer] beaver W, G

[403] 110 smelt o’ret. G

ACT. II. SCENE. VII.

FITZ-DOTTRELL. WITTIPOL. PVG.

_Her huſband appeares at her back._
Is shee ſo, Sir? and, I will keepe her ſo.
If I know how, or can: that wit of man
Will doe’t, I’ll goe no farther. At this windo’
She ſhall no more be _buz’d_ at. Take your leaue on’t.
If you be ſweet meates, wedlock, or ſweet fleſh, 5
All’s one: I doe not loue this _hum_ about you.
A flye-blowne wife is not ſo proper, In: [125]
For you, S^r, looke to heare from mee.

_Hee ſpeakes out of his wiues window._

WIT. So, I doe, Sir.

FIT. No, but in other termes. There’s no man offers
This to my wife, but paies for’t.

WIT. That haue I, Sir.

FIT. Nay, then, I tell you, you are.

WIT. What am I, Sir? 11

FIT. Why, that I’ll thinke on, when I ha’ cut your throat.

WIT. Goe, you are an _Aſſe_.

FIT. I am reſolu’d on’t, Sir.

WIT. I thinke you are.

FIT. To call you to a reckoning.

WIT. Away, you brokers blocke, you property. 15

FIT. S’light, if you ſtrike me, I’ll ſtrike your Miſtreſſe.

_Hee ſtrikes his wife._

WIT. O! I could ſhoote mine eyes at him, for that, now;
Or leaue my teeth in’him, were they cuckolds bane,
Inough to kill him. What prodigious,
Blinde, and moſt wicked change of fortune’s this? 20
I ha’ no ayre of patience: an my vaines
Swell, and my ſinewes ſtart at iniquity of it.
I ſhall breake, breake.

_The_ Diuell _ſpeakes below_.

PVG. This for the malice of it,
And my reuenge may paſſe! But, now, my conſcience
Tells mee, I haue profited the cauſe of Hell 25
But little, in the breaking-off their loues.
Which, if some other act of mine repaire not,
I ſhall heare ill of in my accompt.

Fitz-dottrel _enters with his wife as come downe_.

FIT. O, Bird!
Could you do this? ’gainſt me? and at this time, now?
When I was ſo imploy’d, wholly for you, 30
Drown’d i’ my care (more, then the land, I ſweare,
I’haue hope to win) to make you peere-leſſe? ſtudying,
For footemen for you, fine pac’d huiſhers, pages,
To ſerue you o’ the knee; with what Knights wife,
To beare your traine, and ſit with your foure women 35
In councell, and receiue intelligences,
From forraigne parts, to dreſſe you at all pieces!
Y’haue (a’moſt) turn’d my good affection, to you;
Sowr’d my ſweet thoughts; all my pure purpoſes:
I could now finde (i’ my very heart) to make 40
Another, _Lady Dutcheſſe_; and depoſe you.
Well, goe your waies in. _Diuell_, you haue redeem’d all.
I doe forgiue you. And I’ll doe you good.

[404] SD. om. SN.] FITZ-DOTTRELL _appears at his Wife’s back_. G

[405] 8 SN. om. G || you,] you, you, W, G

[406] 11 are.] are--W, G

[407] 13 Sir.] Sir--Ed.

[408] 16 I will W, G

[409] 16 SN.] [_Strikes Mrs. Fitz. and leads her out._ G

[410] 17 my 1641

[411] 22 th’iniquity G

[412] 23 SN. om [_Exit._ SCENE III. _Another Room in_ Fitzdottrel’s
_House. Enter_ PUG. G

[413] 28 in om. 1641 || SN.] _Enter_ FITZDOTTREL _and his wife_. G

[414] 30 employ’d 1716, f.

[415] 31, 32 () ret. G

[416] 38 You’ve 1716, f. || almost W, G

[417] 42 [_Exit Mrs. Fitz._] G

[418] 43 [_Exit Pug._ G

ACT. II. SCENE. VIIJ.

MERE-CRAFT. FITZ-DOTTREL. INGINE.
TRAINES.

Why ha you theſe excurſions? where ha’ you beene, Sir? [126]

FIT. Where I ha’ beene vex’d a little, with a toy!

MER. O Sir! no toyes muſt trouble your graue head,
Now it is growing to be great. You muſt
Be aboue all thoſe things.

FIT. Nay, nay, ſo I will. 5

MER. Now you are to’ard the Lord, you muſt put off
The man, Sir.

ING. He ſaies true.

MER. You muſt do nothing
As you ha’ done it heretofore; not know,
Or ſalute any man.

ING. That was your bed-fellow,
The other moneth.

MER. The other moneth? the weeke. 10
Thou doſt not know the priueledges, _Ingine_,
Follow that Title; nor how ſwift: To day,
When he has put on his Lords face once, then--

FIT. Sir, for theſe things I ſhall doe well enough,
There is no feare of me. But then, my wife is 15
Such an vntoward thing! ſhee’ll neuer learne
How to comport with it. I am out of all
Conceipt, on her behalfe.

MER. Beſt haue her taught, Sir.

FIT. Where? Are there any Schooles for _Ladies_? Is there
An _Academy_ for women? I doe know, 20
For men, there was: I learn’d in it, my ſelfe,
To make my legges, and doe my poſtures.

ING. Sir.
Doe you remember the conceipt you had--
O’ the Spaniſh gowne, at home?

Ingine _whiſpers_ Merecraft, Merecraft _turnes to_ Fitz-dottrel.

MER. Ha! I doe thanke thee,
With all my heart, deare _Ingine_. Sir, there is 25
A certaine _Lady_, here about the Towne,
An _Engliſh_ widdow, who hath lately trauell’d,
But ſhee’s call’d the _Spaniard_; cauſe ſhe came
Lateſt from thence: and keepes the _Spaniſh_ habit.
Such a rare woman! all our women heere, 30
That are of ſpirit, and faſhion flocke, vnto her,
As to their Preſident; their _Law_; their _Canon_;
More then they euer did, to _Oracle-Foreman_.
Such rare receipts ſhee has, Sir, for the face;
Such _oyles_; such _tinctures_; such _pomatumn’s_; 35
Such _perfumes_; _med’cines_; _quinteſſences_, _&c._
And ſuch a Miſtreſſe of behauiour; [127]
She knowes, from the _Dukes_ daughter, to the Doxey,
What is their due iuſt: and no more!

FIT. O Sir!
You pleaſe me i’ this, more then mine owne greatneſſe, 40
Where is ſhee? Let vs haue her.

MER. By your patience,
We muſt vſe meanes; caſt how to be acquainted--

FIT. Good, S^r, about it.

MER. We muſt think how, firſt.

FIT. O!
I doe not loue to tarry for a thing,
When I haue a mind to’t. You doe not know me. 45
If you doe offer it.

MER. Your wife muſt ſend
Some pretty token to her, with a complement,
And pray to be receiu’d in her good graces,
All the great _Ladies_ do’t.

FIT. She ſhall, ſhe ſhall,
What were it beſt to be?

MER. Some little toy, 50
I would not haue it any great matter, Sir:
A _Diamant_ ring, of _forty_ or _fifty_ pound,
Would doe it handſomely: and be a gift
Fit for your wife to ſend, and her to take.

FIT. I’ll goe, and tell my wife on’t, ſtreight. 55

Fitz-dottrel _goes out_.

MER. Why this
Is well! The clothes we’haue now: But, where’s this _Lady_?
If we could get a witty boy, now, _Ingine_;
That were an excellent cracke: I could inſtruct him,
To the true height. For any thing takes this _dottrel_.

ING. Why, Sir your beſt will be one o’ the players! 60

MER. No, there’s no truſting them. They’ll talke on’t,
And tell their _Poets_.

ING. What if they doe? The ieſt
will brooke the Stage. But, there be ſome of ’hem
Are very honeſt Lads. There’s _Dicke Robinſon_
A very pretty fellow, and comes often 65
To a Gentlemans chamber, a friends of mine. We had
The merrieſt ſupper of it there, one night,
The Gentlemans Land-lady invited him
To’a Goſſips feaſt. Now, he Sir brought _Dick Robinſon_,
Dreſt like a Lawyers wife, amongſt ’hem all; 70
(I lent him cloathes) but, to ſee him behaue it;
And lay the law; and carue; and drinke vnto ’hem;
And then talke baudy: and ſend frolicks! o!
It would haue burſt your buttons, or not left you
A ſeame.

MER. They ſay hee’s an ingenious youth! 75

ING. O Sir! and dreſſes himſelfe, the beſt! beyond
Forty o’ your very _Ladies_! did you ne’r ſee him?

MER. No, I do ſeldome ſee thoſe toyes. But thinke you,
That we may haue him?

ING. Sir, the young Gentleman
I tell you of, can command him. Shall I attempt it? 80

MER. Yes, doe it.

_Enters againe._

FIT. S’light, I cannot get my wife
To part with a ring, on any termes: and yet,
The ſollen _Monkey_ has two.

MER. It were ’gainst reaſon
That you ſhould vrge it; Sir, ſend to a Gold-ſmith, [128]
Let not her loſe by’t.

FIT. How do’s ſhe loſe by’t? 85
Is’t not for her?

MER. Make it your owne bounty,
It will ha’ the better ſucceſſe; what is a matter
Of _fifty_ pound to you, S^r.

FIT. I’haue but a hundred
_Pieces_, to ſhew here; that I would not breake--

MER. You ſhall ha’ credit, Sir. I’ll ſend a ticket 90
Vnto my Gold-ſmith. Heer, my man comes too,
To carry it fitly. How now, _Traines_? What birds?

Traines _enters_.

TRA. Your Couſin _Euer-ill_ met me, and has beat mee,
Becauſe I would not tell him where you were:
I thinke he has dogd me to the houſe too.

FIT. Well-- 95
You ſhall goe out at the back-doore, then, _Traines_.
You muſt get _Guilt-head_ hither, by ſome meanes:

TRA. ’Tis impoſſible!

FIT. Tell him, we haue _veniſon_,
I’ll g’ him a piece, and ſend his wife a _Pheſant_.

TRA. A Forreſt moues not, till that _forty_ pound, 100
Yo’ had of him, laſt, be pai’d. He keepes more ſtirre,
For that ſame petty ſumme, then for your bond
Of _ſixe_; and _Statute_ of _eight_ hundred!

FIT. Tell him
Wee’ll hedge in that. Cry vp _Fitz-dottrell_ to him,
Double his price: Make him a man of mettall. 105

TRA. That will not need, his bond is current inough.

[419] SD. ACT. ...] om. _Enter_ MEERCRAFT _and_ ENGINE. G || II]
III 1641

[420] 6,7 Now ... Sir.] “Now ... sir.” W

[421] 24 SN.] [_whispers Meercraft._] G

[422] 28 she is W, G

[423] 29 and om. 1641

[424] 31 fashion flocke,] fashion, flock 1692, f.

[425] 36 &c.] _et caetera_; G

[426] 45 to it G

[427] 49 do it G

[428] 52 _Diamond_ 1692, 1716 diamond W, G passim

[429] 55 SN.] [_Exit._ G

[430] 61 of it G

[431] 64 _Dick_ 1692, 1716 Dick W Dickey G

[432] 66 friend W, G

[433] 69 T’a 1716, W

[434] 81 SN....] Fit.... 1716 Fitz-dottrel ... W
_Re-enter_ FITZDOTTREL. G

[435] 83 sullen 1692, f.

[436] 85, 6 ’t] it G

[437] 92 SN.] _Enter_ TRAINS. G

[438] 95, 103 FIT.] _Meer._ W, G

[439] 98 ’T] It G

[440] 99 gi’ 1716, W give G [_Exit._ G

[441] 106 [_Exeunt._ G

ACT. III. SCENE. I. [129]

GVILT-HEAD. PLVTARCHVS.

All this is to make you a Gentleman:
I’ll haue you learne, Sonne. Wherefore haue I plac’d you
With S^r. _Poul Either-ſide_, but to haue ſo much Law
To keepe your owne? Beſides, he is a _Iuſtice_,
Here i’ the Towne; and dwelling, Sonne, with him, 5
You ſhal learne that in a yeere, ſhall be worth twenty
Of hauing ſtay’d you at _Oxford_, or at _Cambridge_,
Or ſending you to the _Innes_ of _Court_, or _France_.
I am call’d for now in haſte, by Maſter _Meere-craft_
To truſt Maſter _Fitz-dottrel_, a good man: 10
I’haue inquir’d him, eighteene hundred a yeere,
(His name is currant) for a diamant ring
Of forty, ſhall not be worth thirty (thats gain’d)
And this is to make you a Gentleman!

PLV. O, but good father, you truſt too much!

GVI. Boy, boy, 15
We liue, by finding fooles out, to be truſted.
Our ſhop-bookes are our paſtures, our corn-grounds,
We lay ’hem op’n for them to come into:
And when wee haue ’hem there, wee driue ’hem vp
In t’one of our two Pounds, the _Compters_, ſtreight, 20
And this is to make you a Gentleman!
Wee Citizens neuer truſt, but wee doe coozen:
For, if our debtors pay, wee coozen them;
And if they doe not, then we coozen our ſelues.
But that’s a hazard euery one muſt runne, 25
That hopes to make his Sonne a Gentleman!

PLV. I doe not wiſh to be one, truely, Father.
In a deſcent, or two, wee come to be
Iuſt ’itheir ſtate, fit to be coozend, like ’hem.
And I had rather ha’ tarryed i’ your trade: 30
For, ſince the _Gentry_ ſcorne the Citty ſo much, [130]
Me thinkes we ſhould in time, holding together,
And matching in our owne tribes, as they ſay,
Haue got an _Act_ of _Common Councell_, for it,
That we might coozen them out of _rerum natura_. 35

GVI. I, if we had an _Act_ firſt to forbid
The marrying of our wealthy heyres vnto ’hem:
And daughters, with ſuch lauiſh portions.
That confounds all.

PLV. And makes a _Mungril_ breed, Father.
And when they haue your money, then they laugh at you: 40
Or kick you downe the ſtayres. I cannot abide ’hem.
I would faine haue ’hem coozen’d, but not truſted.

[442] SD. ACT. ... I. ...] ACT. ... I. _A Room in_ Fitzdottrel’s
_House. Enter_ THOMAS GILTHEAD _and_ PLUTARCHUS. G

[443] 3 to om. 1692 t’ 1716 || _Poul_] _Pould_ 1641

[444] 9 I’m W, G

[445] 12 () ret. G

[446] 15 Boy, boy] Boy, by 1692

[447] 20 two om. 1692, 1716 || Int’one 1716, W into one G

[448] 29 i’ their 1716, W in their G

ACT. III. SCENE. II.

MERE-CRAFT. GVILT-HEAD.
FITZ-DOTTRELL. PLVTARCHVS.

O, is he come! I knew he would not faile me.
Welcome, good _Guilt-head_, I muſt ha’ you doe
A noble Gentleman, a courteſie, here:
In a mere toy (ſome pretty Ring, or Iewell)
Of fifty, or threeſcore pound (Make it a hundred, 5
And hedge in the laſt forty, that I owe you,
And your owne price for the Ring) He’s a good man, S^r,
And you may hap’ ſee him a great one! Hee,
Is likely to beſtow hundreds, and thouſands,
Wi’ you; if you can humour him. A great prince 10
He will be ſhortly. What doe you ſay?

GVI. In truth, Sir
I cannot. ’T has beene a long vacation with vs?

FIT. Of what, I pray thee? of wit? or honesty?
Thoſe are your Citizens long vacations.

PLV. Good Father do not truſt ’hem.

MER. Nay, _Thom. Guilt-head_. 15
Hee will not buy a courteſie and begge it:
Hee’ll rather pay, then pray. If you doe for him,
You muſt doe cheerefully. His credit, Sir,
Is not yet proſtitute! Who’s this? thy ſonne?
A pretty youth, what’s his name?

PLV. _Plutarchus_, Sir, 20

MER. _Plutarchus!_ How came that about?

GVI. That yeere S^r,
That I begot him, I bought _Plutarch’s_ liues,
And fell ſ’ in loue with the booke, as I call’d my ſonne
By’his name; In hope he ſhould be like him:
And write the liues of our great men!

MER. I’ the City? [131] 25
And you do breed him, there?

GVI. His minde, Sir, lies
Much to that way.

MER. Why, then, he is i’ the right way.

GVI. But, now, I had rather get him a good wife,
And plant him i’ the countrey; there to vſe
The bleſſing I ſhall leaue him: