Chapter IV: Act III: Scene I

SECURITY'S _house_.

_Enter_ SIR PETRONEL, QUICKSILVER, SECURITY, BRAMBLE,
_and_ WINIFRED.

_Pe._ Thanks for your feast-like breakfast, good Master
Security; I am sorry (by reason of my instant haste to
so long a voyage as Virginia) I am without means by
any kind amends to show how affectionately I take your
kindness, and to confirm by some worthy ceremony a
perpetual league of friendship betwixt us.

_Sec._ Excellent knight! let this be a token betwixt us
of inviolable friendship. I am new married to this fair
gentlewoman, you know; and by my hope to make her
fruitful, though I be something in years, I vow faithfully
unto you to make you godfather, though in your absence,
to the first child I am blest withal; and henceforth call
me gossip, I beseech you, if you please to accept it. 13

_Pe._ In the highest degree of gratitude, my most worthy
gossip; for confirmation of which friendly title, let me
entreat my fair gossip, your wife here, to accept this
diamond, and keep it as my gift to her first child, wheresoever
my fortune, in event of my voyage, shall bestow
me.

_Sec._ How now, my coy wedlock;[53] I make you strange
of so noble a favour? Take it, I charge you, with all
affection, and, by way of taking your leave, present
boldly your lips to our honourable gossip. 23

_Qu._ How venturous he is to him, and how jealous to
others!

_Pe._ Long may this kind touch of our lips print in our
hearts all the forms of affection. And now, my good
gossip, if the writings be ready to which my wife should
seal, let them be brought this morning before she takes
coach into the country, and my kindness shall work her
to despatch it. 31

_Sec._ The writings are ready, sir. My learned counsel
here, Master Bramble the lawyer, hath perused them;
and within this hour I will bring the scrivener with them
to your worshipful lady.

_Pe._ Good Master Bramble, I will here take my leave
of you then. God send you fortunate pleas, sir, and
contentious clients!

_Br._ And you foreright winds, sir, and a fortunate
voyage.

[_Exit._

_Enter a_ Messenger.

_Me._ Sir Petronel, here are three or four gentlemen
desire to speak with you. 42

_Pe._ What are they?

_Qu._ They are your followers in this voyage, knight:
Captain Seagull and his associates; I met them this
morning, and told them you would be here.

_Pe._ Let them enter, I pray you; I know they long to
be gone, for their stay is dangerous.

_Enter_ SEAGULL, SCAPETHRIFT, _and_ SPENDALL.

_Sea._ God save my honourable colonel! 49

_Pe._ Welcome, good Captain Seagull, and worthy
gentlemen. If you will meet my friend Frank here, and
me, at the Blue Anchor Tavern by Billingsgate this
evening, we will there drink to our happy voyage, be
merry, and take boat to our ship with all expedition.

_Sp._ Defer it no longer, I beseech you, sir; but as your
voyage is hitherto carried closely, and in another knight's
name, so for your own safety and ours, let it be continued:
our meeting and speedy purpose of departing known to
as few as is possible, lest your ship and goods be
attached. 60

_Qu._ Well advised, captain; our colonel shall have
money this morning to despatch all our departures;
bring those gentlemen at night to the place appointed,
and, with our skins full of vintage, we'll take occasion by
the vantage,[54] and away.

_Sp._ We will not fail, but be there, sir.

_Pe._ Good morrow, good captain, and my worthy
associates. Health and all sovereignty to my beautiful
gossip; for you, sir, we shall see you presently with the
writings. 70

_Sec._ With writings and crowns to my honourable
gossip. I do hunger and thirst to do you good, sir.

[_Exeunt._

[53] Wife.

[54] Collier compares Nashe's _Summer's Last Will_,
&c.:--"Our vintage was a vintage, for it did not work upon the
advantage."

SCENE II.

_An inn-yard._

_Enter a_ Coachman _in haste, in his frock, feeding_.

_Co._ Here's a stir when citizens ride out of town, indeed
as if all the house were a-fire! 'Slight! they will not
give a man leave to eat's breakfast afore he rises.

_Enter_ HAMLET, _a footman, in haste_.

_Ha._ What, coachman--my lady's coach! for shame!
her ladyship's ready to come down.

_Enter_ POTKIN, _a tankard-bearer_.

_Po._ 'Sfoot! Hamlet, are you mad?[55] Whither run
you now? you should brush up my old mistress!

_Enter_ SINDEFY.

_Si._ What, Potkin?--you must put off your tankard
and put on your blue coat,[56] and wait upon Mistress
Touchstone into the country.

[_Exit._

_Po._ I will, forsooth, presently.

[_Exit._

_Enter_ Mistress FOND _and_ Mistress GAZER.

_Fo._ Come, sweet Mistress Gazer, let's watch here, and
see my Lady Flash take coach. 13

_Ga._ O' my word here's a most fine place to stand in;
did you see the new ship launched last day, Mistress
Fond?

_Fo._ O God! and we citizens should lose such a sight!

_Ga._ I warrant here will be double as many people to
see her take coach as there were to see it take water.

_Fo._ O she's married to a most fine castle i' th' country,
they say. 21

_Ga._ But there are no giants in the castle, are there?

_Fo._ O no: they say her knight killed 'hem all, and
therefore he was knighted.

_Ga._ Would to God her ladyship would come away!

_Enter_ GERTRUDE, Mistress TOUCHSTONE, SINDEFY,
HAMLET, POTKIN.

_Fo._ She comes, she comes, she comes!

_Ga._ } Pray heaven bless your ladyship!
_Fo._ }

_Ge._ Thank you, good people. My coach, for the love
of heaven, my coach! In good truth I shall swoon else.

_Ha._ Coach, coach, my lady's coach!

[_Exit._

_Ge._ As I am a lady, I think I am with child already,
I long for a coach so. May one be with child afore they
are married, mother? 33

_Mist. T._ Ay, by'r lady, madam; a little thing does
that; I have seen a little prick no bigger than a pin's
head swell bigger and bigger, till it has come to an
ancome;[57] and e'en so 'tis in these cases.

_Enter_ HAMLET.

_Ha._ Your coach is coming, madam.

_Ge._ That's well said. Now, heaven! methinks I am
e'en up to the knees in preferment. 40
_But a little higher, but a little higher, but a little higher,
There, there, there lies Cupid's fire!_

_Mist. T._ But must this young man, an't please you,
madam, run by your coach all the way a-foot?

_Ge._ Ay, by my faith, I warrant him; he gives no other
milk, as I have another servant does.

_Mist. T._ Alas! 'tis e'en pity, methinks; for God's sake,
madam, buy him but a hobby-horse; let the poor youth
have something betwixt his legs to ease 'hem. Alas! we
must do as we would be done to. 50

_Ge._ Go to, hold your peace, dame; you talk like an
old fool, I tell you!

_Enter_ Sir PETRONEL _and_ QUICKSILVER.

_Pe._ Wilt thou be gone, sweet honey-suckle, before I
can go with thee?

_Ge._ I pray thee, sweet knight, let me; I do so long to
dress up thy castle afore thou comest. But I marle how
my modest sister occupies herself this morning, that she
cannot wait on me to my coach, as well as her mother.

_Qu._ Marry, madam, she's married by this time to
prentice Golding. Your father, and some one more,
stole to church with 'hem in all the haste, that the cold
meat left at your wedding might serve to furnish their
nuptial table. 63

_Ge._ There's no base fellow, my father, now; but he's
e'en fit to father such a daughter: he must call me
daughter no more now: but "madam," and "please you,
madam;" and "please your worship, madam," indeed.
Out upon him! marry his daughter to a base prentice!

_Mist. T._ What should one do? Is there no law for
one that marries a woman's daughter against her will?
How shall we punish him, madam? 71

_Ge._ As I am a lady, an't would snow, we'd so pebble
'hem with snow-balls as they come from church; but,
sirrah Frank Quicksilver.

_Qu._ Ay, madam.

_Ge._ Dost remember since thou and I clapt what-d'ye-call'ts
in the garret?

_Qu._ I know not what you mean, madam.

_Ge._ _His_[58] _head as white as milk, all flaxen was his hair;_
_But now he is dead, and laid in his bed,_ 80
_And never will come again._
God be at your labour!

_Enter_ TOUCHSTONE, GOLDING, MILDRED, _with rosemary_.[59]

_Pe._ Was there ever such a lady?

_Qu._ See, madam, the bride and bridegroom!

_Ge._ God's my precious! God give you joy, mistress.
What lack you? Now out upon thee, baggage! My
sister married in a taffeta hat! Marry, hang you!
Westward with a wanion[60] t'ye! Nay, I have done wi'
ye, minion, then, i'faith; never look to have my
countenance any more, nor anything I can do for thee.
Thou ride in my coach, or come down to my castle! fie
upon thee! I charge thee in my ladyship's name, call
me sister no more. 93

_To._ An't please your worship, this is not your sister:
this is my daughter, and she calls me father, and so does
not your ladyship, an't please your worship, madam.

_Mist. T._ No, nor she must not call thee father by
heraldry, because thou makest thy prentice thy son as
well as she. Ah! thou misproud prentice, darest thou
presume to marry a lady's sister? 100

_Go._ It pleased my master, forsooth, to embolden me
with his favour; and though I confess myself far unworthy
so worthy a wife (being in part her servant, as I am your
prentice) yet (since I may say it without boasting) I am
born a gentleman, and by the trade I have learned of my
master (which I trust taints not my blood), able, with
mine own industry and portion, to maintain your
daughter, my hope is, heaven will so bless our humble
beginning, that in the end I shall be no disgrace to the
grace with which my master has bound me his double
prentice. 111

_To._ Master me no more, son, if thou think'st me
worthy to be thy father.

_Ge._ Son! Now, good Lord, how he shines! and you
mark him, he's a gentleman!

_Go._ Ay, indeed, madam, a gentleman born.

_Pe._ Never stand o' your gentry, Master Bridegroom;
if your legs be no better than your arms, you'll be able
to stand upright on neither shortly. 119

_To._ An't please your good worship, sir, there are two
sorts of gentlemen.

_Pe._ What mean you, sir?

_To._ Bold to put off my hat to your worship----

_Pe._ Nay, pray forbear, sir, and then forth with your
two sorts of gentlemen.

_To._ If your worship will have it so, I say there are
two sorts of gentlemen. There is a gentleman artificial,
and a gentleman natural. Now though your worship be
a gentleman natural: work upon that now. 129

_Qu._ Well said, old Touchstone; I am proud to
hear thee enter a set speech, i'faith; forth, I beseech
thee.

_To._ Cry your mercy, sir, your worship's a gentleman I
do not know. If you be one of my acquaintance, y'are
very much disguised, sir.

_Qu._ Go to, old quipper; forth with thy speech, I
say. 137

_To._ What, sir, my speeches were ever in vain to your
gracious worship; and therefore, till I speak to you
gallantry indeed, I will save my breath for my broth anon.
Come, my poor son and daughter, let us hide ourselves in
our poor humility, and live safe. Ambition consumes
itself with the very show. Work upon that now.

_Ge._ Let him go, let him go, for God's sake! let him
make his prentice his son, for God's sake! give away
his daughter, for God's sake! and when they come a-begging
to us for God's sake, let's laugh at their good
husbandry for God's sake. Farewell, sweet knight, pray
thee make haste after. 149

_Pe._ What shall I say?--I would not have thee go.

_Qu._ _Now,_[61] _O now, I must depart,
_Parting though it absence move._
This ditty, knight, do I see in thy looks in capital
letters.
_What a grief 'tis to depart, and leave the flower that
has my heart!_
_My sweet lady, and alack for woe, why, should we
part so?_
Tell truth, knight, and shame all dissembling lovers;
does not your pain lie on that side? 158

_Pe._ If it do, canst thou tell me how I may cure it?

_Qu._ Excellent easily. Divide yourself in two halves,
just by the girdlestead; send one half with your lady,
and keep t'other yourself; or else do as all true lovers
do--part with your heart, and leave your body behind.
I have seen't done a hundred times: 'tis as easy a matter
for a lover to part without a heart from his sweetheart,
and he ne'er the worse, as for a mouse to get from a trap
and leave her [_sic_] tail behind him. See, here comes the
writings. 168

_Enter_ SECURITY _with a_ Scrivener.

_Sec._ Good morrow to my worshipful lady. I present
your ladyship with this writing, to which if you please to
set your hand with your knight's, a velvet gown shall
attend your journey, o' my credit.

_Ge._ What writing is it, knight?

_Pe._ The sale, sweetheart, of the poor tenement I told
thee of, only to make a little money to send thee down
furniture for my castle, to which my hand shall lead
thee.

_Ge._ Very well. Now give me your pen, I pray.

_Qu._ It goes down without chewing, i'faith.

_Scr._ Your worships deliver this as your deed? 180

_Ambo._ We do.

_Ge._ So now, knight, farewell till I see thee.

_Pe._ All farewell to my sweetheart!

_Mist. T._ God-b'w'y', son knight.

_Pe._ Farewell, my good mother.

_Ge._ Farewell, Frank; I would fain take thee down if
I could.

_Qu._ I thank your good ladyship; farewell, Mistress
Sindefy.

[_Exeunt._

_Pe._ O tedious voyage, whereof there is no end!
What will they think of me? 191

_Qu._ Think what they list. They longed for a vagary
into the country, and now they are fitted. So a woman
marry to ride in a coach, she cares not if she ride to her
ruin. 'Tis the great end of many of their marriages.
This is not the first time a lady has rid a false journey in
her coach, I hope.

_Pe._ Nay, 'tis no matter, I care little what they think;
he that weighs men's thoughts has his hands full of
nothing. A man, in the course of this world, should be
like a surgeon's instrument--work in the wounds of
others, and feel nothing himself. The sharper and
subtler, the better. 203

_Qu._ As it falls out now, knight, you shall not need
to devise excuses, or endure her outcries, when she returns;
we shall now begone before, where they cannot
reach us.

_Pe._ Well, my kind compeer, you have now the assurance
we both can make you; let me now entreat you,
the money we agreed on may be brought to the Blue
Anchor, near to Billingsgate, by six o'clock; where I and
my chief friends, bound for this voyage, will with feasts
attend you. 213

_Sec._ The money, my most honourable compeer, shall
without fail observe your appointed hour.

_Pe._ Thanks, my dear gossip. I must now impart
To your approved love, a loving secret;
As one on whom my life doth more rely
In friendly trust than any man alive.
Nor shall you be the chosen secretary 220
Of my affections for affection only:
For I protest (if God bless my return)
To make you partner in my actions' gain
As deeply as if you had ventured with me
Half my expenses. Know then, honest gossip,
I have enjoy'd with such divine contentment
A gentlewoman's bed whom you well know,
That I shall ne'er enjoy this tedious voyage,
Nor live the least part of the time it asketh,
Without her presence; so I thirst and hunger 230
To taste the dear feast of her company.
And if the hunger and the thirst you vow
As my sworn gossip, to my wishèd good
Be, as I know it is, unfeign'd and firm,
Do me an easy favour in your power.

_Sec._ Be sure, brave gossip, all that I can do,
To my best nerve, is wholly at your service:
Who is the woman, first, that is your friend?

_Pe._ The woman is your learned counsel's wife,
The lawyer, Master Bramble; whom would you 240
Bring out this even in honest neighbourhood,
To take his leave with you, of me your gossip,
I, in the meantime, will send this my friend
Home to his house, to bring his wife disguised,
Before his face, into our company;
For love hath made her look for such a wile,
To free her from his tyrannous jealousy.
And I would take this course before another,
In stealing her away to make us sport,
And gull his circumspection the more grossly; 250
And I am sure that no man like yourself
Hath credit with him to entice his jealousy
To so long stay abroad as may give time
To her enlargement, in such safe disguise.

_Sec._ A pretty, pithy, and most pleasant project!
Who would not strain a point of neighbourhood
For such a point device? that as the ship[62]
Of famous Draco went about the world,
Will wind about the lawyer, compassing
The world himself; he hath it in his arms, 260
And that's enough for him, without his wife.
A lawyer is ambitious, and his head
Cannot be praised nor raised too high,
With any fork of highest knavery.
I'll go fetch her straight.

[_Exit_ SECURITY.

_Pe._ So, so. Now, Frank, go thou home to his house,
'Stead of his lawyer's, and bring his wife hither,
Who, just like to the lawyer's wife, is prison'd
With his[63] stern usurous jealousy, which could never
Be over-reach'd thus but with over-reaching. 270

_Re-enter_ SECURITY.

_Sec._ And, Master Francis, watch you th' instant time
To enter with his exit: 'twill be rare,
Two fine horn'd beasts!--a camel and a lawyer!

_Qu._ How the old villain joys in villainy!

_Sec._ And hark you, gossip, when you have her here,
Have your boat ready, ship her to your ship
With utmost haste, lest Master Bramble stay you.
To o'er-reach that head that out-reacheth all heads,
'Tis a trick rampant!--'tis a very quiblin![64]
I hope this harvest to pitch cart with lawyers, 280
Their heads will be so forked. This sly touch
Will get apes to invent a number such.

[_Exit._

_Qu._ Was ever rascal honey'd so with poison?
He that delights in slavish avarice,
Is apt to joy in every sort of vice.
Well, I'll go fetch his wife, whilst he the lawyer's.

_Pe._ But stay, Frank, let's think how we may disguise
her upon this sudden. 288

_Qu._ God's me! there's the mischief! But hark you,
here's an excellent device: 'fore God, a rare one! I will
carry her a sailor's gown and cap, and cover her, and a
player's beard.

_Pe._ And what upon her head?

_Qu._ I tell you, a sailor's cap! 'Slight, God forgive
me! what kind of figent[65] memory have you?

_Pe._ Nay, then, what kind of figent wit hast thou?
A sailor's cap?--how shall she put it off
When thou present'st her to our company?

_Qu._ Tush, man, for that, make her a saucy sailor. 299

_Pe._ Tush, tush! 'tis no fit sauce for such sweet mutton,
I know not what t' advise.

_Re-enter_ SECURITY _with his wife's gown_.

_Sec._ Knight, knight, a rare device!

_Pe._ 'Swounds, yet again!

_Qu._ What stratagem have you now?

_Sec._ The best that ever. You talk of disguising?

_Pe._ Ay, marry, gossip, that's our present care.

_Sec._ Cast care away then; here's the best device
For plain Security (for I am no better)
I think, that ever lived: here's my wife's gown,
Which you may put upon the lawyer's wife, 310
And which I brought you, sir, for two great reasons;
One is, that Master Bramble may take hold
Of some suspicion that it is my wife,
And gird me so perhaps with his law-wit;
The other (which is policy indeed)
Is, that my wife may now be tied at home,
Having no more but her old gown abroad,
And not show me a quirk, while I firk others.
Is not this rare?

_Ambo._ The best that ever was.

_Sec._ Am I not born to furnish gentlemen? 320

_Pe._ O my dear gossip!

_Sec._ Well hold, Master Francis; watch when the
lawyer's out, and put it in. And now I will go fetch
him.

[_Exit._

_Qu._ O my dad! he goes as 'twere the devil to fetch
the lawyer; and devil shall he be, if horns will make
him.

_Pe._ Why, how now, gossip? why stay you there
musing?

_Sec._ A toy, a toy runs in my head, i'faith. 330

_Qu._ A pox of that head! is there more toys yet?

_Pe._ What is it, pray thee, gossip?

_Sec._ Why, sir, what if you should slip away now with
my wife's best gown, I having no security for it?

_Qu._ For that I hope, dad, you will take our words.

_Sec._ Ay, by th' mass, your word--that's a proper staff
For wise Security to lean upon!
But 'tis no matter, once I'll trust my name
On your crack'd credits; let it take no shame.
Fetch the wench, Frank.

[_Exit._

_Qu._ I'll wait upon you, sir, 340
And fetch you over, you were ne'er so fetch'd.
Go to the tavern, knight; your followers
Dare not be drunk, I think, before their captain.

[_Exit._

_Pe._ Would I might lead them to no hotter service
Till our Virginian gold were in our purses!

[_Exit._

[55] One of many allusions that show the early popularity of
Shakespeare's play.

[56] "Blue coat"--the livery of a serving-man.

[57] Ulcerous swelling.

[58] A variation of the snatch sung by Ophelia.

[59] The herb of remembrance, used at weddings and funerals.

[60] "With a wanion,"--with a plague!

[61] A misquotation from a song in John Dowland's _First Book
of Songs or Airs_ (1597):--
"Now, O now, I needs must part,
Parting though I absent mourn," &c.

[62] Sir Francis Drake's ship, in which he sailed round the
world. By order of Queen Elizabeth it was laid up at Deptford,
whither it attracted many sightseers. See Nares' _Glossary_.

[63] "Both the quartos [there is only one] have it 'With
_eyes_ stern usurous jealousy,' which may be right, though
the sense is rather forced."--_Collier._ The copy that lies
before me gives, "With his sterne vsurous Ielosie."

[64] Device, trick.--In _The Insatiate Countess_, ii. 3, we
have the word "whiblin" used in the same sense.

[65] Fidgetty, volatile.

SCENE III.

_The Blue Anchor, Billingsgate._

_Enter_ SEAGULL, SPENDALL, _and_ SCAPETHRIFT, _in the Tavern, with a
Drawer_.

_Sea._ Come, drawer, pierce your neatest hogsheads,
and let's have cheer--not fit for your Billingsgate
tavern, but for our Virginian colonel; he will be here
instantly.

_Dr._ You shall have all things fit, sir; please you
have any more wine?

_Sp._ More wine, slave! whether we drink it or no,
spill it, and draw more.

_Sea._ Fill all the pots in your house with all sorts of
liquor, and let 'hem wait on us here like soldiers in their
pewter coats; and though we do not employ them now,
yet we will maintain 'hem till we do. 12

_Dr._ Said like an honourable captain; you shall have
all you can command, sir.

[_Exit_ Drawer.

_Sea._ Come, boys, Virginia longs till we share the rest
of her maidenhead.

_Sp._ Why, is she inhabited already with any English?

_Sea._ A whole country of English is there, man, bred
of those that were left there in '79;[66] they have married
with the Indians, and make 'hem bring forth as beautiful
faces as any we have in England; and therefore the
Indians are so in love with 'hem, that all the treasure
they have they lay at their feet. 23

_Sca._ But is there such treasure there, captain, as I
have heard?

_Sea._ I tell thee, gold is more plentiful there than
copper is with us; and for as much red copper as I can
bring, I'll have thrice the weight in gold. Why, man,
all their dripping-pans and their chamber-pots are pure
gold; and all the chains with which they chain up their
streets are massy gold; all the prisoners they take are
fettered in gold; and for rubies and diamonds, they go
forth on holidays and gather 'hem by the seashore, to
hang on their children's coats, and stick in their caps,
as commonly as our children wear saffron-gilt brooches
and groats with holes in 'hem. 36

_Sca._ And is it a pleasant country withal?

_Sea._ As ever the sun shined on; temperate and full
of all sorts of excellent viands: wild boar is as common
there as our tamest bacon is here; venison as mutton.
And then you shall live freely there, without sergeants,
or courtiers, or lawyers, or intelligencers, only[67] a few
industrious Scots, perhaps, who indeed are dispersed
over the face of the whole earth. But as for them, there
are no greater friends to Englishmen and England,
when they are out on't, in the world, than they are.
And for my part, I would a hundred thousand of 'hem
were there, for we are all one countrymen now, ye
know, and we should find ten times more comfort of
them there than we do here. Then for your means to
advancement, there it is simple, and not preposterously
mixed. You may be an alderman there, and never be
scavenger: you may be a nobleman, and never be a
slave. You may come to preferment enough, and never
be a pander; to riches and fortune enough, and have
never the more villainy nor the less wit. Besides,[68] there
we shall have no more law than conscience, and not too
much of either; serve God enough, eat and drink enough,
and enough is as good as a feast. 59

_Sp._ God's me! and how far is it thither?

_Sea._ Some six weeks' sail, no more, with any indifferent
good wind. And if I get to any part of the
coast of Africa, I'll sail thither with any wind; or when
I come to Cape Finisterre, there's a foreright wind
continually wafts us till we come at Virginia. See, our
colonel's come. 66

_Enter_ Sir PETRONEL _with his followers_.

_Pe._ Well met, good Captain Seagull, and my noble
gentlemen! Now the sweet hour of our freedom is at
hand. Come, drawer, fill us some carouses, and prepare
us for the mirth that will be occasioned presently. Here
will be a pretty wench, gentlemen, that will bear us
company all our voyage.

_Sea._ Whatsoever she be, here's to her health, noble
colonel, both with cap and knee.

_Pe._ Thanks, kind Captain Seagull, she's one I love
dearly, and must not be known till we be free from
all that know us. And so, gentlemen, here's to her
health. 78

_Ambo._ Let it come, worthy colonel; we do hunger
and thirst for it.

_Pe._ Afore heaven! you have hit the phrase of one
that her presence will touch from the foot to the forehead,
if ye knew it.

_Sp._ Why, then, we will join his forehead with her
health, sir; and Captain Scapethrift, here's to 'hem
both.

_Enter_ SECURITY _and_ BRAMBLE.

_Sec._ See, see, Master Bramble, 'fore heaven! their
voyage cannot but prosper; they are o' their knees
for success to it!

_Br._ And they pray to god Bacchus. 90

_Sec._ God save my brave colonel, with all his tall
captains and corporals. See, sir, my worshipful learned
counsel, Master Bramble, is come to take his leave of
you.

_Pe._ Worshipful Master Bramble, how far do you draw
us into the sweet-briar of your kindness! Come, Captain
Seagull, another health to this rare Bramble, that hath
never a prick about him.

_Sea._ I pledge his most smooth disposition, sir. Come,
Master Security, bend your supporters, and pledge this
notorious health here. 101

_Sec._ Bend you yours likewise, Master Bramble; for it
is you shall pledge me.

_Sea._ Not so, Master Security; he must not pledge his
own health.

_Sec._ No, Master Captain?

_Enter_ QUICKSILVER _with_ WINNY _disguised_.

Why, then, here's one is fitly come to do him that
honour.

_Qu._ Here's the gentlewoman your cousin, sir, whom,
with much entreaty, I have brought to take her leave of
you in a tavern; ashamed whereof, you must pardon
her if she put not off her mask. 112

_Pe._ Pardon me, sweet cousin; my kind desire to see
you before I went, made me so importunate to entreat
your presence here.

_Sec._ How now, Master Francis? have you honoured
this presence with a fair gentlewoman?

_Qu._ Pray, sir, take you no notice of her, for she will
not be known to you.

_Sec._ But my learned counsel, Master Bramble here,
I hope he may know her. 121

_Qu._ No more than you, sir, at this time; his learning
must pardon her.

_Sec._ Well, God pardon her for my part, and I do, I'll
be sworn; and so, Master Francis, here's to all that are
going eastward to-night towards Cuckold's Haven;[69] and
so to the health of Master Bramble.

_Qu._ I pledge it, sir. Hath it gone round, Captain?

_Sea._ It has, sweet Frank; and the round closes with
thee. 130

_Qu._ Well, sir, here's to all eastward and toward
cuckolds, and so to famous Cuckold's Haven, so fatally
remembered.

[_Surgit._

_Pe._ Nay, pray thee, coz, weep not; gossip Security.

_Sec._ Ay, my brave gossip.

_Pe._ A word, I beseech you, sir. Our friend, Mistress
Bramble here, is so dissolved in tears, that she drowns
the whole mirth of our meeting. Sweet gossip, take
her aside and comfort her. 139

_Sec._ Pity of all true love, Mistress Bramble; what,
weep you to enjoy your love? What's the cause, lady?
Is't because your husband is so near, and your heart
yearns to have a little abused him? Alas, alas! the
offence is too common to be respected. So great a
grace hath seldom chanced to so unthankful a woman,
to be rid of an old jealous dotard, to enjoy the arms of
a loving young knight, that when your prickless Bramble
is withered with grief of your loss, will make you flourish
afresh in the bed of a lady. 149

_Enter_ Drawer.

_Dr._ Sir Petronel, here's one of your watermen come
to tell you it will be flood these three hours; and that
'twill be dangerous going against the tide, for the sky
is overcast, and there was a porcpisce[70] even now seen
at London Bridge, which is always the messenger of
tempests, he says.

_Pe._ A porcpisce!--what's that to th' purpose? Charge
him, if he love his life, to attend us; can we not reach
Blackwall (where my ship lies) against the tide, and in
spite of tempests? Captains and gentlemen, we'll begin
a new ceremony at the beginning of our voyage, which
I believe will be followed of all future adventurers. 161

_Sea._ What's that, good colonel?

_Pe._ This, Captain Seagull. We'll have our provided
supper brought aboard Sir Francis Drake's ship,[71] that
hath compassed the world; where, with full cups and
banquets, we will do sacrifice for a prosperous voyage.
My mind gives me that some good spirits of the waters
should haunt the desert ribs of her, and be auspicious
to all that honour her memory, and will with like orgies
enter their voyages. 170

_Sea._ Rarely conceited! One health more to this
motion, and aboard to perform it. He that will not this
night be drunk, may he never be sober.

[_They compass in_ WINIFRED, _dance the
drunken round, and drink carouses_.

_Br._ Sir Petronel and his honourable captains, in
these young services we old servitors may be spared.
We only came to take our leaves, and with one health
to you all, I'll be bold to do so. Here, neighbour
Security, to the health of Sir Petronel, and all his
captains.

_Sec._ You must bend then, Master Bramble; so now
I am for you. I have one corner of my brain, I hope,
fit to bear one carouse more. Here, lady, to you that
are encompassed there, and are ashamed of our company.
Ha, ha, ha! by my troth, my learned counsel,
Master Bramble, my mind runs so of Cuckold's Haven
to-night, that my head runs over with admiration. 186

_Br._ But is not that your wife, neighbour?

_Sec._ No, by my troth, Master Bramble. Ha, ha, ha!
A pox of all Cuckold's Havens, I say!

_Br._ O' my faith, her garments are exceeding like
your wife's.

_Sec._ _Cucullus non facit monachum_, my learned counsel;
all are not cuckolds that seem so, nor all seem not that
are so. Give me your hand, my learned counsel; you
and I will sup somewhere else than at Sir Francis
Drake's ship to-night. Adieu, my noble gossip.

_Br._ Good fortune, brave captains; fair skies God
send ye!

_Omnes._ Farewell, my hearts, farewell! 199

_Pe._ Gossip, laugh no more at Cuckold's Haven, gossip.

_Sec._ I have done, I have done, sir; will you lead,
Master Bramble? Ha, ha, ha!

_Pe._ Captain Seagull, charge a boat.

_Omnes._ A boat, a boat, a boat!

[_Exeunt all but_ Drawer.

_Dr._ Y'are in a proper taking indeed, to take a boat,
especially at this time of night, and against tide and
tempest. They say yet, "drunken men never take
harm." This night will try the truth of that proverb. 208

[_Exit._

[66] This date is too early. The first colony was established (by
Sir Richard Grenville) in 1585; see Hakluyt's _Voyages_ (ed.
1600), iii. 254. These colonists stayed only a year in Virginia.
A second batch was sent out in 1587.

[67] "Only a few ... than we do here."--This is one of the
passages that gave offence and procured the author's
imprisonment. It is found only in a few copies. Englishmen were
disgusted at the favours lavished by James on the needy Scots who
swarmed southwards "with pride and hungry hopes completely
arm'd." See Jesse's _Court of England under the Stuarts_,
ed. 1855, i. 52-3.

[68] "Besides ... good as a feast."--This passage is omitted in
the copies that contain the cancelled passage about the Scots.

[69] A spot on the Thames below Rotherhithe.

[70] Old form of porpoise: it occurs in Jonson's _Silent
Woman_, &c. The gambolling of porpoises was supposed to
portend a storm.

[71] See note 1, p. 59. [Transcriber's Note: Footnote [63]]

SCENE IV.

_Outside_ SECURITY'S _house_.

_Enter_ SECURITY.

_Sec._ What, Winny!--wife, I say! out of doors at this
time! where should I seek the gad-fly? Billingsgate,
Billingsgate, Billingsgate! She's gone with the knight,
she's gone with the knight; woe be to thee, Billingsgate!
A boat, a boat, a boat! a full hundred marks for a
boat![72]

[_Exit._

[72] See note 2, vol. ii. p. 349.