Chapter VI: Act IV: SCENE I. PETRUCHIO'S country house

_Enter_ GRUMIO.

_Gru._ Fie, fie on all tired jades, on all mad masters,
and all foul ways! Was ever man so beaten? was ever
man so rayed? was ever man so weary? I am sent before
to make a fire, and they are coming after to warm them.
Now, were not I a little pot, and soon hot, my very lips 5
might freeze to my teeth, my tongue to the roof of my
mouth, my heart in my belly, ere I should come by a fire
to thaw me: but I, with blowing the fire, shall warm myself;
for, considering the weather, a taller man than I will
take cold. Holla, ho! Curtis! 10

_Enter_ CURTIS.

_Curt._ Who is that calls so coldly?

_Gru._ A piece of ice: if thou doubt it, thou mayst slide
from my shoulder to my heel with no greater a run but my
head and my neck. A fire, good Curtis.

_Curt._ Is my master and his wife coming, Grumio? 15

_Gru._ O, ay, Curtis, ay: and therefore fire, fire; cast on
no water.

_Curt._ Is she so hot a shrew as she's reported?

_Gru._ She was, good Curtis, before this frost: but, thou
knowest, winter tames man, woman, and beast; for it hath 20
tamed my old master, and my new mistress, and myself,
fellow Curtis.

_Curt._ Away, you three-inch fool! I am no beast.

_Gru._ Am I but three inches? why, thy horn is a foot;
and so long am I at the least. But wilt thou make a fire, 25
or shall I complain on thee to our mistress, whose hand,
she being now at hand, thou shalt soon feel, to thy cold
comfort, for being slow in thy hot office?

_Curt._ I prithee, good Grumio, tell me, how goes the world? 30

_Gru._ A cold world, Curtis, in every office but thine;
and therefore fire: do thy duty, and have thy duty; for
my master and mistress are almost frozen to death.

_Curt._ There's fire ready; and therefore, good Grumio,
the news. 35

_Gru._ Why, 'Jack, boy! ho! boy!' and as much news
as thou wilt.

_Curt._ Come, you are so full of cony-catching!

_Gru._ Why, therefore fire; for I have caught extreme
cold. Where's the cook? is supper ready, the house trimmed, 40
rushes strewed, cobwebs swept; the serving-men in
their new fustian, their white stockings, and every officer
his wedding-garment on? Be the jacks fair within, the jills
fair without, the carpets laid, and every thing in order?

_Curt._ All ready; and therefore, I pray thee, news. 45

_Gru._ First, know, my horse is tired; my master and
mistress fallen out.

_Curt._ How?

_Gru._ Out of their saddles into the dirt; and thereby
hangs a tale. 50

_Curt._ Let's ha't, good Grumio.

_Gru._ Lend thine ear.

_Curt._ Here.

_Gru._ There. [_Strikes him._

_Curt._ This is to feel a tale, not to hear a tale. 55

_Gru._ And therefore 'tis called a sensible tale: and this
cuff was but to knock at your ear, and beseech listening.
Now I begin: _Imprimis_, we came down a foul hill, my master
riding behind my mistress,--

_Curt._ Both of one horse? 60

_Gru._ What's that to thee?

_Curt._ Why, a horse.

_Gru._ Tell thou the tale: but hadst thou not crossed
me, thou shouldst have heard how her horse fell and she
under her horse; thou shouldst have heard in how miry a 65
place, how she was bemoiled, how he left her with the horse
upon her, how he beat me because her horse stumbled,
how she waded through the dirt to pluck him off me, how
he swore, how she prayed, that never prayed before, how I
cried, how the horses ran away, how her bridle was burst, 70
how I lost my crupper, with many things of worthy memory,
which now shall die in oblivion and thou return unexperienced
to thy grave.

_Curt._ By this reckoning he is more shrew than she.

_Gru._ Ay; and that thou and the proudest of you all 75
shall find when he comes home. But what talk I of this?
Call forth Nathaniel, Joseph, Nicholas, Philip, Walter, Sugarsop
and the rest: let their heads be sleekly combed,
their blue coats brushed and their garters of an indifferent
knit: let them curtsy with their left legs and not presume 80
to touch a hair of my master's horse-tail till they kiss their
hands. Are they all ready?

_Curt._ They are.

_Gru._ Call them forth.

_Curt._ Do you hear, ho? you must meet my master to 85
countenance my mistress!

_Gru._ Why, she hath a face of her own.

_Curt._ Who knows not that?

_Gru._ Thou, it seems, that calls for company to countenance
her. 90

_Curt._ I call them forth to credit her.

_Gru._ Why, she comes to borrow nothing of them.

_Enter four or five_ serving-men.

_Nath._ Welcome home, Grumio!

_Phil._ How now, Grumio!

_Jos._ What, Grumio! 95

_Nich._ Fellow Grumio!

_Nath._ How now, old lad?

_Gru._ Welcome, you;--how now, you;--what, you;--fellow,
you;--and thus much for greeting. Now, my spruce
companions, is all ready, and all things neat? 100

_Nath._ All things is ready. How near is our master?

_Gru._ E'en at hand, alighted by this; and therefore be
not--Cock's passion, silence! I hear my master.

_Enter_ PETRUCHIO _and_ KATHARINA.

_Pet._ Where be these knaves? What, no man at door
To hold my stirrup nor to take my horse! 105
Where is Nathaniel, Gregory, Philip?

_All Serv._ Here, here, sir; here, sir.

_Pet._ Here, sir! here, sir! here, sir! here, sir!
You logger-headed and unpolish'd grooms!
What, no attendance? no regard? no duty? 110
Where is the foolish knave I sent before?

_Gru._ Here, sir; as foolish as I was before.

_Pet._ You peasant swain! you whoreson malt-horse drudge!
Did I not bid thee meet me in the park,
And bring along these rascal knaves with thee? 115

_Gru._ Nathaniel's coat, sir, was not fully made,
And Gabriel's pumps were all unpink'd i' the heel;
There was no link to colour Peter's hat,
And Walter's dagger was not come from sheathing:
There were none fine but Adam, Ralph, and Gregory; 120
The rest were ragged, old, and beggarly;
Yet, as they are, here are they come to meet you.

_Pet._ Go, rascals, go, and fetch my supper in.
[_Exeunt Servants._
[_Singing_] Where is the life that late I led--

Where are those--Sit down, Kate, and welcome.-- 125
Soud, soud, soud, soud!

_Re-enter_ Servants _with supper_.

Why, when, I say? Nay, good sweet Kate, be merry.
Off with my boots, you rogues! you villains, when?
[_Sings._

It was the friar of orders grey,
As he forth walked on his way:-- 130

Out, you rogue! you pluck my foot awry:
Take that, and mend the plucking off the other.
[_Strikes him._

Be merry, Kate. Some water, here; what, ho!
Where's my spaniel Troilus? Sirrah, get you hence,
And bid my cousin Ferdinand come hither: 135
One, Kate, that you must kiss, and be acquainted with.
Where are my slippers? Shall I have some water?

_Enter one with water._

Come, Kate, and wash, and welcome heartily.
You whoreson villain! will you let it fall?
[_Strikes him._

_Kath._ Patience, I pray you; 'twas a fault unwilling. 140

_Pet._ A whoreson beetle-headed, flap-ear'd knave!
Come, Kate, sit down; I know you have a stomach.
Will you give thanks, sweet Kate; or else shall I?
What's this? mutton?

_First Serv._ Ay.

_Pet._ Who brought it?

_Peter._ I.

_Pet._ 'Tis burnt; and so is all the meat. 145
What dogs are these! Where is the rascal cook?
How durst you, villains, bring it from the dresser,
And serve it thus to me that love it not?
There, take it to you, trenchers, cups, and all:
[_Throws the meat, &c. about the stage._
You heedless joltheads and unmanner'd slaves! 150
What, do you grumble? I'll be with you straight.

_Kath._ I pray you, husband, be not so disquiet:
The meat was well, if you were so contented.

_Pet._ I tell thee, Kate, 'twas burnt and dried away;
And I expressly am forbid to touch it, 155
For it engenders choler, planteth anger;
And better 'twere that both of us did fast,
Since, of ourselves, ourselves are choleric,
Than feed it with such over-roasted flesh.
Be patient; to-morrow't shall be mended, 160
And, for this night, we'll fast for company:
Come, I will bring thee to thy bridal chamber. [_Exeunt._

_Re-enter_ Servants _severally_.

_Nath._ Peter, didst ever see the like?

_Peter._ He kills her in her own humour.

_Re-enter_ CURTIS.

_Gru._ Where is he? 165

_Curt._ In her chamber, making a sermon of continency to her;
And rails, and swears, and rates, that she, poor soul,
Knows not which way to stand, to look, to speak,
And sits as one new-risen from a dream. 170
Away, away! for he is coming hither. [_Exeunt._

_Re-enter_ PETRUCHIO.

_Pet._ Thus have I politicly begun my reign,
And 'tis my hope to end successfully.
My falcon now is sharp and passing empty;
And till she stoop she must not be full-gorged, 175
For then she never looks upon her lure.
Another way I have to man my haggard,
To make her come and know her keeper's call,
That is, to watch her, as we watch these kites
That bate and beat and will not be obedient. 180
She eat no meat to-day, nor none shall eat;
Last night she slept not, nor to-night she shall not;
As with the meat, some undeserved fault
I'll find about the making of the bed;
And here I'll fling the pillow, there the bolster, 185
This way the coverlet, another way the sheets:
Ay, and amid this hurly I intend
That all is done in reverend care of her;
And in conclusion she shall watch all night:
And if she chance to nod I'll rail and brawl 190
And with the clamour keep her still awake.
This is a way to kill a wife with kindness;
And thus I'll curb her mad and headstrong humour.
He that knows better how to tame a shrew,
Now let him speak: 'tis charity to show. [_Exit._ 195

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