Chapter XXXVI: Norway and Sweden

It is all very sad about Norway and Sweden! A handsomer country couple--or couple of countries--it would be hard to meet anywhere, and so propinquous! Have they not been next-door neighbours from the infancy of the world?

And everybody knows what Propinquity does.

It is Cupid's middle name; what more natural than that they should get married?

Haven't you heard? Well, it all happened so quickly, they were married in Vienna in 1815, and--well, you know Propinquity is the Devil's middle name, too--they were divorced in 1905 after a brief married life of only ninety years!

What could have been the trouble?

Some say the food, others attribute it to the Domestic Drama. Perhaps it was both. Here is a typical Scandinavian Menu--

Pjkled Ojsters Bjsque of Snajls Frjed Fjsh Natjve Wjne Qujnce Jce-cream Onjons and Bjsqujts

It might almost pass for an Ibsen Play with the average theatre-goer; it has what the average theatre-goer calls "atmosphere."

_I once drew Ibsen, looking bored_
_Across a deep Norwegian Fjord,_
_And very nearly everyone_
_Mistook him for the Midnight Sun._

Norway is the home of the Ibsenian or stodgy, as distinguished from the stagey, Drama.

James Huneker, the eminent Lexicographer, as a compliment to that great and hirsutiferous playwright, has re-christened Norway "The Land of the Midnight Whiskers."

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The inhabitants of Norway and Sweden are the most Moral and Patriotic People in the World, and they won the World War.