Chapter IX: Part 9

Ladies called upon to assist in receiving are not to consider their duties ended when they have supported the hostess through the trying hours of standing to greet her guests, but are supposed (though they too often fail in this) to mingle with the company, seeing that strangers and timid or non-attractive girls are not allowed to remain wall-flowers for any length of time. Bashful men, too, must not be left without partners, and all should be provided with escorts to supper.

These things are a part of the hostess’ duty, but in a large entertainment it is quite beyond her power to attend to all the claims upon her time.

The sons of the house, and sometimes a few other especially deputized young men, must sacrifice their own preferences in order to give pleasure to others. If the number of ladies exceed that of gentlemen, these aids frequently take two out to supper.

Daughters of the house, together with receiving ladies and the hostess, do not go out to supper until the last guests are supplied with partners. However, should the hostess be expected to accompany some distinguished gentleman to the table, she will delegate her duties to another.

General Rules for Observance.

Gentlemen may introduce other men to ladies of their own family or to friends, first asking their permission or the permission of their chaperons. In case of a chaperon, the introduction is made first to her and then to the young lady, and the gentleman at close of the dance returns his partner to her chaperon.

Where the gentleman is well acquainted with the lady, a short promenade is often indulged in; but if the gentleman be a stranger to her, she should not expect this, for he may have another engagement, and will return her immediately to the side of her chaperon or some lady friend she may designate. In Europe this promenading is not allowed, the young lady being at once escorted back to her chaperon after dancing.

Supper being announced, a gentleman, having no other engagement, offers his arm to the lady with whom he may be talking or dancing and escorts her out, unless some previous partner arrives to claim her before his invitation is given. Once given, a lady is not free (unusual circumstances excepted) to decline it, even though she may have expected another to offer her the same attention. If she be accompanied by a chaperon, the elder lady is invited at the same time, and it is to her that his arm is offered, the younger lady walking by her side. For two ladies to each take an arm is not good form.

A gentleman requesting a lady for a certain dance, should never ask if she is engaged for it. He may request the pleasure or honor of her company for the next dance, and he will learn from her answer whether she be free, without compelling her to acknowledge at the last moment that she has been hitherto unsought.

Formality of Introductions.

The request for a dance should be accompanied by a bow on the part of the gentlemen. At its close he should thank her for the pleasure, and she should return this courtesy with a smile and bow, and a murmured “Thank you.”

An introduction to a lady in the ball-room pre-supposes that the gentleman will dance with her or walk with her through one dance.

In England, where introductions are rarely given to those invited to an entertainment, a gentleman may ask any lady for a dance. She will probably accept, but he must not take this as the prelude to an after acquaintance. In America, however, it is necessary to ask some mutual friend to first request the favor of the lady, and then, if granted, give the introduction.

However, in case of any little accident, or sudden faintness, gentlemen should be quick to assist, bringing an iced drink, aiding to the dressing-room, or calling a carriage, as the case may be, without the formality of an introduction. A gentleman may also ask an older lady who seems left unattended at supper-time, if he may bring her some refreshments, and this without an introduction.

It is very bad form for gentlemen to stand about the ball-room, especially if there be a scarcity of dancing men present. Even if there is no one in the room for whom they particularly care, they should be unselfish enough to remember that dancing is almost the only active form of amusement in which the majority of ladies may participate.

A young man should ask the young ladies, daughters or relatives of the hostess, for their company in the dance early in the evening. A married gentleman should be general in his attentions in the ball-room. He should not dance more than once or twice with his wife, nor should he take her out to supper; but he must keep a quiet outlook over her comfort, and see that she is no wise lonely or neglected.

Attentions Paid to Ladies.

Neither should he confine his attentions in a marked manner to any one lady. It is ill-breeding to excite the comment sure to follow such a course. It is also bad form for any gentleman to confine his attentions to any one lady, or, as a rule, to ask her for more than two dances. Even engaged couples are not exempt from this law.

Gentlemen may put down their name on a lady’s program for certain dances, and the engagement should never be forgotten. If, however, this lapse should occur, the humblest apology should follow, which the young lady, no matter how annoyed, should gracefully accept. Ill-humor is out of place in the ball-room.

If a lady from weariness, or any other cause, should wish to stop at any time in the dance, the gentleman must, without any comment, at once lead her to a seat, and remain with her until the set is finished, notwithstanding that she may, from a spirit of kindness, request him to seek another partner. Should she show symptoms of weariness, and be either too timid or too thoughtful for his enjoyment to ask him to take her from the floor, he should be quick to see, and to suggest that she rest for a moment.

Gloves form an important adjunct to a gentleman’s toilet for a dancing party. Light colored gloves are always good form. Gentlemen are expected to wear gloves while dancing, since their ungloved hands would not only soil the delicate tints of the lady’s gloves, but the slightest pressure of a warm, uncovered hand is liable to discolor the frail gauzes, or pale silks of their ball-room toilet.

It is not amiss to be provided with an extra pair of gloves which will be very useful should the first pair come to grief. Upon the same principle, two fresh handkerchiefs should be carried.

If dancing is not formally announced in the invitation, gentlemen will do well to provide themselves with gloves to be donned if that amusement is introduced in the course of the evening. Notwithstanding the royal indolence or whim of the Prince of Wales led him some time back to discard the use of gloves at evening parties, an example which many ultra-fashionables have followed, it still remains that gloves are both proper and necessary. If a gentleman attempts to dance without them he must hold his handkerchief in his hand in such a manner as to prevent its contact with the bodice of the lady’s gown.

Loud talking and boisterous laughter are not to be tolerated. Scrupulously avoid stepping upon the train of a lady’s gown. Apologize if it accidentally occurs, and if serious damage ensue from the awkwardness, beg the privilege of taking her to the dressing-room to have the damage repaired.

For Ladies.

Young ladies must never refuse to dance with one gentleman, and afterward give the same dance to a more favored suitor. Nothing so quickly speaks of ill-breeding as this course. Ball-room engagements should not be forgotten. Young ladies should never be so unwise as to appear on the floor at every dance.

Daughters of the hostess should not repeatedly appear upon the floor while other lady guests are neglected. Not their own pleasure, but the pleasure of the company should be their first care.

Ladies should not cross the ball-room alone. It invites attention. Ladies must not burden gentlemen (unless husband or near relative) with bouquet or fan to hold while they dance. Young ladies should not refuse a ball-room introduction to a gentleman without a sufficient reason, since to do so is always an embarrassment to the one asking it. Still a lady has the privilege of refusal and may not be pressed for a reason. Young chaperons should never dance while their _protégés_ are unprovided with partners.

A lady removes at least one glove while partaking of supper. But when a cup of tea, or an ice, only is taken this is not necessary.

DANCING.

Pope says: “They move easiest who have learned to dance,” and while the opinions of society are greatly divided on the subject of this amusement, it cannot be denied that there is much truth in the assurance that Locke gives us in his treatise on “Education:”

“Since nothing appears to me to give children so much becoming confidence and behavior as dancing, I think they should be taught to dance as soon as they are capable of learning it. For though this consists only in outward gracefulness of motion, ... yet it gives children manly thoughts and courage more than anything.”

For the many, however, to whom these early advantages have not been given, while the dowry of a quick ear and natural grace has enabled them to “pick up” this social accomplishment, a few hints may be of use.

Dancing is really an art, and one that the gentleman especially should understand (since he takes the lead) before he ventures to ask a lady out upon the floor.

The gentleman should be very careful in the manner of holding his partner. He should give her proper support by putting his arm firmly around her, but not drawing her too close. Her right hand should be held in his left, the lady turning the right palm downward and almost straightening her right arm. The gentleman should bend his left arm slightly backward. The joined hands should be held steadily but kept away from the gentleman’s body. To rest them upon his hip, is actual vulgarity. The gentleman’s right shoulder and the lady’s left, should be kept as far apart as the other shoulders, hence his right elbow must not be too much bent. The upper part of the body should be kept quiet, and the head held naturally, not turned one side, while the eyes are neither thrown up nor cast down in an affected style. Their steps should be in harmony and the gentleman must be very careful not to permit a collision with other couples.

At every slightest pause in the dance the gentleman should instantly drop his arm from the lady’s waist. In these intervals it is proper to fan her if she desire it, and to enter into chatty conversation.

Gentlemen avoid all boisterous conduct in the dance, such as swinging a partner too rapidly, or lifting her too much from the floor. She, on her part, should dance lightly, never permitting her partner to carry her around, but performing her share well, or not dance at all.

The Most Desirable Dances.

In making up a dancing program, quadrilles should always find a place, since many can walk through its measures that will not undertake the more active dances. It also gives opportunity for the graceful curtsey which no lady should fail to learn, and can be enlivened with conversation.

To the alluring round dances, polka, schottische, waltz, etc., there are many who strongly object, but, danced in private homes and in most cases under the eye of the young girl’s mother, there can be found nothing dangerously objectionable in this favorite amusement. The minuet is a stately, beautiful old dance that is sometimes introduced, enabling both old and young to join in its slow and gracious measure.

New steps, new changes and new dances, with the technical features of which it is not the province of this book to deal, are continually coming into vogue with each season. A few words, however, with regard to the general etiquette of that justly popular dance, the German, will be in place here. The German, called the “Cotillion” in France and in Germany, where it originated, is the most fascinating dance in social use. Balls at which it is to appear, signifying that fact in the invitations sent out are more elaborate in their arrangements, and are held to a later hour, since the earlier portion of the night is devoted to waltzing and other dances, and the German is not commenced until after supper.

Many leave before it begins, especially those who expect to make the tour of several balls and receptions during the night. A second and hot supper is usually served at its close, to those who participate in its measures. Be certain when the German is to be introduced that a sufficient number of men are invited to make the affair a success.

The leader of the cotillion is chosen by the hostess, and should be thoroughly familiar with all its figures, new and old; skilled to command, and prompt to bring order out of confusion; at the same time energetic and good tempered. As there will always be some in a German who do not understand it, the leader must be ready to help them out. Such parties should take their places near the end, and, in this way, will become familiar with a figure before it is their turn to dance.

No Favorites to be Allowed.

The leader will also see that gentlemen do not neglect some ladies for the pleasure of dancing frequently with more favored partners. In this he should be assisted by the hostess, and gentlemen should never disregard her quiet suggestion on this score. After all, “the ball-room is a more fitting field for a display of the Christian graces than most Evangelical people are willing to admit.”

All those dancing the German must consider themselves as introduced, and each lady or gentleman is free to call “up” any participant for his or her partner. In fact it is desirable that they should do so, since by devoting themselves entirely to their acquaintance there is danger of some being debarred from the amusement. For these reasons the German is unsuited for a public ball, and fitted only for a private house where the invitation is expected to certify the character of the guest.

Varied and beautiful are the figures that may be adopted, but the scope of this book will not permit full instructions for its elaborate changes. One suggestion, however, is in point; do not choose those “romping” figures where the fun is liable to become too fast and furious for ball-room decorum. The figures requiring “properties,” such as ribbons, flags, Japanese lanterns, aprons, mirrors, etc., should have all the necessary articles carefully provided beforehand.

During most of the figures, “favors” are distributed; flowers, amusing trinkets, or sometimes pretty little souvenirs are given. Rosettes, scarf pins, bangles, tiny flags, artificial butterflies, bon-bons in embroidered satin bags, badges, painted silk sachets, etc., are all appropriate. Tiny lanterns filled with perfume, and sometimes amusing toys will add to the fun of the occasion. It is better taste to give simple articles than to resort to the gifts of great value that some hostesses have bestowed, since such giving always suggests ostentation. Flowers alone are sometimes used and it is not necessary to make the favors a source of undue expense.

Regrets must be sent one’s hostess if unable to attend a German, that the place may be filled. If a gentleman invites a lady especially as his partner for a German, he should send her a bouquet and if some unforseen occurrence should prevent his attendance, he must at once send her an explanatory regret to that effect.

Private Balls Given in Public.

Many hostesses, feeling the inadequacy of their parlors to accommodate all the guests that they wish to invite at one time, without disagreeable overcrowding, have adopted the custom of giving their large entertainments at public assembly rooms. This custom, while it frees the hostess from much care, must also be deplored as depriving the gathering of that home atmosphere which is ever a safeguard.

The etiquette is the same as that of a private ball, and after calls are demanded within the same length of time. The decorations and arrangements resemble closely as possible those of a private house.

Public Balls.

Much of the etiquette given for Private Balls governs the conduct of those attending public entertainments of the same nature. Introductions, however, must be sought before any attentions are offered a lady, and there is much more care exercised in granting them than under a private roof. Gentlemen, too, use their own pleasure in the choice of partners, not having the courtesy of their hostess to regard in this respect.

Of course, Military, Charity and Civic Balls are under the charge of trustees and committees, who not only take charge of the convenience of the guests, but endeavor by all means within their power to regulate the social standing of those obtaining _entrée_ to the assembly. In many of the large cities a board of lady patronesses add prestige and a certain home protection to the successful carrying out of a public ball of the highest order. It seems to supply the protection of a hostess to the _fête_.

A young girl, even if the omission be excused at a private ball, does not attend a public affair of this nature without a chaperon. Late hours are more especially objectionable at public balls than at a private house. One, or half-past, should find the adieux made.

A young lady, in refusing to dance with a gentleman, is not obliged to sit the dance out as she would be at the house of a mutual friend. She may, however, if she wish, do it in deference to his feelings.

MASQUERADES.

A few words with regard to masquerades will not be out of place here, with the one proviso added that they refer exclusively to private entertainments. Public gatherings of this nature should be shunned as questionable amusements, excepting, of course, any case where, from want of room, a lady may choose to give the entertainment in some public assembly-room instead of her own parlors. This course lends the protection of home to the charm of its veiled mysteries.

A masquerade is an entertainment giving much trouble to both hostess and guests. Elaborate decorations are necessary in the ball-room. Invitations for it should be issued from three weeks to a month in advance, in order to give the guest time to choose and prepare the costume to be worn.

Some hostesses give their invitations for a fancy dress party only, omitting the feature of masks. In this they may act their own pleasure. In event of permitting masks they must be laid aside at supper hour.

Occasionally the hostess arranges a costume scheme for the entire _fête_ beforehand, signifying to each guest the character, historical or imaginary, that it is her pleasure he shall, for the time being, personify. In this way the perfection and beauty of the ball-room are assured beforehand, and repetitions of time-worn characters prevented from appearing upon the floor.

Choice of Costumes.

Again, the hostess may content herself by selecting the costumes that she wishes a few particular friends to don, sufficient in number to form one or more quadrilles to open the ball. Each set must be carefully arranged as for instance, a court party, costumed after the time of Louis XIV. A group of Watteau Shepherds and shepherdesses, or a hunting party garbed after any chosen period, etc.

The remainder of the guests may be permitted to use their own taste in the selection of costumes. A full dress rehearsal of these especially arranged quadrilles should be held beforehand to ascertain the most satisfactory method of grouping the characters in each set.

Invitations to an entertainment of this nature are issued like those for ordinary balls, adding “_Bal-masque_” or “Fancy Dress Ball,” down in the left hand corner. When the entertainment is to be very elaborate these words are given an entire line, extending through the center of the invitation. Occasionally the words, “Ordinary ball dress permitted,” find a place upon the card, to the relief of those who prefer to appear in their own proper character.

The host and hostess in fancy dress, assisted by daughters or friends, all costumed, receive as in other balls, and the etiquette is in all ways similar. Some ladies, and gentlemen also, wear mask and domino over the regulation party dress, removing this when the others unmask.

Guests, as far as in them lies, should seek for originality in their costumes. Historical and mythological characters, personification of the powers and attributes of nature—as ice, snow, stars, planets, etc.—are always suitable. Standard works of fiction whose characters are familiar to all, as well as Mother Goose and Kate Greenaway, are always fruitful sources for characters. Accurateness should be sought after in carrying the costumes out.

[Etiquette of Ball Dress, Invitations, etc., may be found in their appropriate departments.]

SOIRÉES MUSICALES AND LAWN PARTIES.

In France almost any social gathering that occurs in the evening is called a _soirée_. Here in this country the term _soirée_ is applied to an evening entertainment that partakes of the nature of an evening party, but is not quite so elaborate and means earlier hours both of arrival and departure.

_Soirées_, as a rule, offer some particular form of amusement, such as music, dancing, a reading; an interchange of bright ideas, such as a _conversazione_. It means also pretty evening dress, not elaborate, ball costume, and a supper. It attracts gentlemen, who appreciate the easy-going, early-houred _soirée_. That is, gentlemen who do not particularly care for the ball-room, and it is here we are sure to find wits and the aristocracy of intellect. In short, the very best elements of society are found in the elegant unpretentious _soirée_, where the intelligent woman of fashion has the tact to welcome and make at home the artist, the author, the professional man, and the man of business. The _soirée_ has still another advantage: a lady can give one in a small house and with very little expenditure, and if she has the gift of entertaining, her gathering will always be sought after.

Suitable Dress.

Women, as before mentioned, wear pretty evening dress (not ball costume), and remove their bonnets, and in this way differing from _matinées_ and from morning receptions, at both of which entertainments bonnets are worn. Men wear morning dress. (See Department of Dress.)

Receiving Guests.

For small evening parties, the host and hostess during the early part of the evening remain near the door to receive guests. Later they must mingle with the company to assist in entertaining. A late arrival, however, should be noted, though it is their place to search out their hostess and offer the greetings of the evening.

As guests enter the room the hostess should advance a step to meet them. Her words of greeting should be first addressed to the elder ladies of an incoming group, then the young ladies, lastly the gentlemen. The hostess should be perfectly at her ease, having apparently no thought beyond the reception rooms.

The Entertainment.

Where the entertainment is mixed, a little music is appropriate, a little dancing and a little card-playing. It is well to engage some one to play for the dancing, since guests usually do not care to preside at the instrument. A violin is a great addition.

If, however, the dancing is an afterthought, any gentleman who is a good pianist may offer his services to relieve any lady at the instrument.

The hostess should see that conversation does not lag. She must not interrupt an entertaining _tête-à-tête_, unless it last too long; but, if conversation languish between a couple thrown together, she should bring in a third person, or draw away one, while substituting another.

Invitations.

If invitations are issued a week or ten days in advance, the hostess has a right to expect that her guests should arrive on time, and carefully attired.

The form of the invitation is similar to an “At Home,” as: MRS. EMMONS VAN ZANT, At Home, Thursday, June sixteenth, at eight o’clock. 2040 Westmoreland Street.

Duty of Guests.

The hostess may ask her guests to sing or play; but, if they refuse, it is bad taste to urge them. The hostess, if she plays or sings, may favor the guests with a single selection after others have been heard. It is well for amateurs to master a few pieces that they can render without the notes. This relieves one of that time-worn excuse—“I haven’t my notes.” This is also the case with those who sing. By ceasing to urge performers, the company will be freed from much of that repeated, coy refusal that only needs sufficient coaxing to comply.

When a lady is asked to play or sing, the gentleman nearest her should at once escort her to the piano, remaining near her while she plays, and turning the music, if he be competent. He will also take charge of her fan, bouquet and gloves, and when the music is finished, he will again offer his arm for her return to her seat. At the same time he will thank her for the pleasure she has given himself and the company. Other guests, together with the hostess, should also express their gratification. Never comment on the quality of the instrument. Never offer to turn the sheets of instrumental music unless familiar with the notes.

When any one is playing or singing, let the company preserve silence, and if they should converse, let it be in the lowest tones. To interrupt a performer is the worst possible taste. Instrumental performers have as much right to expect the courtesy of silence as vocalists. The hostess has the privilege of indicating, to a noisy group, by a gesture, her desire for silence. Those who will talk should at least withdraw from the immediate vicinity of the instrument. If asked to play an accompaniment, do so, not to display your own accomplishments, but so as to afford the best possible support for the singer.

MUSICALES.

A musicale, or a musical reception, is a difficult entertainment. A program must be arranged, and sufficient amateur performers secured to make a success of the affair. Herein comes the difficulty, amateurs, after a very unwilling consent has been wrung from them and their name and selection placed upon the program, are so little to be depended upon. Would that there could be found some way of oiling the machinery at a musical entertainment and of soothing the ruffled feelings of a hostess when those most depended upon to render assistance withdraw at the last moment for some vague reason. When one firmly refuses at the first to appear upon the program, no offence can be taken, but to withdraw for any but the most urgent reason is an actual breach of etiquette.

For this reason, those hostesses whose purses are of sufficient length, are driven to employ professional assistance upon these occasions. Another objection to amateur performers is the semi-professional jealousy existing between them as to precedence on the program.

Performers should arrive punctually, and while the order of the program should be followed as far as possible, no one should be offended at being asked, when it is necessary to play or sing out of the order agreed upon.

Arranging the Program.

If the musicale is to be entirely professional, much trouble will be saved by seeking some prominent musician, and with him arrange the program, and letting him act for the hostess in the matter.

A professional artist should not be kept beyond the time agreed for, neither should he be urged to render selections entirely different, or largely in excess of those arranged for. The hostess should express her pleasure, and may request some little favor. Applause is allowable, but it must be within limits.

A courteous reception must be accorded to all performers by those who desire their talents. The hostess should see that the piano is carefully tuned and not keyed too high.

It is customary to commence with a piece of instrumental music, followed by solos, duets, quartets, etc., with instrumental music between.

A successful musicale can be held with the piano alone for music, an accompanist, and a tenor and soprano of note, but very often a violin is added, and sometimes a mandolin orchestra and four or more singers vary the program. Professional singers and musicians usually leave when their numbers are over, in order to protect their throats from night air and the strain of conversing.

Guests should arrive early so that the confusion of entrance and taking seats will be over before the music begins. If late, they should wait until the number then in progress is finished before taking their places. The singular impression, so common everywhere, that at all society gatherings it is much more genteel to appear late upon the scene than at the time appointed, has less reason to justify it when a musicale is the entertainment than at any other entertainment or society event, except a dinner. Music, interrupted by noise, is a failure. The cards of invitation are after this fashion:

_Music._]

The programs are usually written instead of printed, and are sometimes hand-painted and ribbon-bedecked, and again they are engraved on dainty cards. They are frequently enclosed with the invitations.

If dancing is included, this is the formula:

_Music._ _Dancing at eleven._
]

If the musicale is for afternoon, it partakes of the nature of the matinée. Bonnets are to be worn. Refreshments are not necessarily served. The afternoon is often selected when noted stars are to sing, since their time is taken up in the evening. The evening musicale, however, is a more brilliant affair.

Replies are to be sent to these invitations, since for any entertainment when all are to be seated, it is a convenience to know the number of the guests.

The drawing-room is cleared of the greater part of its furniture, and, if dancing is to follow, the carpet is covered with canvas, or removed, if there is a hard wood floor. Camp chairs are provided for the guests.

Arrangement of Performers and Guests.

The seating arrangements should present a clear space for the performers. Too close proximity is not conducive to tranquility on the part of the singer, and also spoils the tone effect. Professional singers insist upon sufficient space. Remove all ornaments of breakable china and _bric-a-brac_ from the vicinity of the piano, which should be bare of cover, and admit of the lid being easily raised and lowered. A bowl of cracked ice, some tumblers, and a pretty jug of water should be placed upon a table near the piano. Good ventilation should be ensured. A reading or recitation can be introduced into a musical program with good effect, and a long program should be divided by a recess for conversation, and to permit those to retire who do not wish to remain to the end.

If dancing follows, the camp chairs are removed, or placed where they can be used. Supper is also served before the dancing. Cigars, matches and ash trays are usually found in the library by the gentlemen, or the cigars are placed in the cloak room to be smoked on the journey home. Either plan, or their omission altogether, is eminently proper.

A day musicale calls for morning dress for men, and a visiting or walking toilet for women. An evening affair, with dancing, calls for evening dress for both.

LAWN PARTIES.

“A green lawn, a few trees, a fine day, and something to eat are really all the absolute requirements of a garden party.” If true, this places the pleasant mode of entertaining our friends in the power of many people of moderate means. In remote country localities these parties are very delightful, particularly if city friends are guests for the Summer.

When properly conducted, a garden party may be given with very little trouble, and made very simple and informal, but if desired may be made elaborate and ceremonious.

When only neighbors are to be entertained, a hasty invitation, so as to be sure of fine weather, may be sent two or three days in advance, but when guests are expected from any distance it is customary to send invitations eight or ten days in advance, as suitable preparations must be made.

These invitations are usually engraved on handsome, plain note paper, and may be in this form.

_Garden Party._ _Maple Grove._
]

When guests are to come by rail it is well to send a card stating the hours at which trains arrive and leave the station. Then if carriages are to meet the train, on a card enclosed might be printed: _Carriages will meet the 3.30 train from Union Depot_.

A lady, also, may invite her friends to a garden party by sending her visiting card with “Tennis” or “Garden Party” written in the lower left hand corner, and day and hour in the lower right hand corner, or under her name. It is well sometimes to specify the time of closing.

At a garden party the hostess receives her guests on the lawn, or in the garden, wearing her hat and gloves. But guests should always be invited to the house to take off their wraps, or arrange their toilet if desired. Of course, a maid servant should be in the dressing-room to attend their wants.

The thoughtful hostess will take care to have everything in readiness for the comfort and entertainment of the company. Rugs should be laid on the grass for the accommodation of those not accustomed to standing on the ground, and easy chairs provided for delicate or aged ladies who may be present, so all may enjoy the party without fear of the consequence.

Amusements to be Provided.

Much tact is required to properly entertain guests at a garden party, and prevent them from wandering aimlessly about the grounds. Ample amusements must, therefore, be provided.

The lawn tennis ground must be in perfect order, croquet sets in readiness, archery tools supplied, as well as arrangements for all kinds of suitable games made. Music is a very delightful addition to the pleasure of such an occasion, and should always be had, when practicable.

Ladies wear hats or bonnets at a garden party, and should dress otherwise appropriately. If a plain, informal affair, the dress should be simple and becoming, and if games like lawn tennis or archery are among the amusements, light flannel dresses are suitable. But if invited to a ceremonious lawn party, where style will prevail, handsome though simple toilets are required. Picturesque costumes may be made very effective on the grass and under the trees, and ladies of taste have a fine field for displaying it upon such occasions.

Many very fashionable people conduct the garden party in the style of an afternoon tea, receiving and entertaining their guests in the open air until ready to serve refreshments, when all are invited to the dining-room to partake of them. This mode is very convenient and quite pleasant, though it divests the occasion of much of the novelty and charm belonging to it.

When the refreshments are to be served in the garden or lawn, of course the dishes must all be cold, and may consist of salads, _patés_, pressed meats, Charlottes, jellies, ices, cakes, lemonade and iced tea. A cup of hot tea should always be in readiness in the kitchen for those ladies desiring it.

Servants should be well trained when in attendance to prevent confusion. Dishes, knives, forks and spoons should be removed when used, and put in baskets or trays in readiness for them, and a fresh supply brought to replace them.

Tables and Refreshments.

Numbers of small tables, with pretty, fancy covers, and colored napkins, should be set around under trees, near fountains and other suitable places, with camp-stools for the accommodation of guests when partaking of refreshments.

Servants should be very careful in going from place to place with dishes to be served never to spill or drop the contents on ladies’ dresses.

Gentlemen may help the ladies, if they prefer, and wait on themselves, requiring the servants only to remove the dishes and replenish the pitchers with lemonade, milk or water.

Fruits, pineapples, strawberries, raspberries, peaches and grapes are served at garden parties, and should be of the finest quality.

Ices are a very acceptable addition to an outdoor entertainment, being light and refreshing for warm weather; they are served in fancy paper cups, laid on ice plates.

For ladies desiring to give garden parties, the following bill of fare will be found sufficient:

Cold Rolls. Mixed Sandwiches. Brown Bread. Pickled Tongue.
Pate de foie gras. Jellied Chicken. Cold Birds.
Lobster Salad. Charlotte Russe. Biscuit. Glaces. Fancy Cakes.
Fruits. Lemonade. Iced Tea. Strawberry Acid.

In England the refreshments are always served in a _marquee_ (large tent) on the lawn.

For such outdoor entertainments foods that require little use of knife and fork should be chosen; sandwiches should never be made of sliced meats as they are awkward to handle. Crusts should be trimmed off, and the filling shredded or grated to a paste, and highly seasoned. For the same reason hot drinks should be dispensed with as far as possible. Glasses are to be filled but two-thirds full. None of these precautions are necessary when the refreshments are served indoors.

For the out-of-doors feast a number of small tables should be provided; cover with fancy cloths and on them place piles of plates alternating with folded napkins, breadbaskets, or trays heaped with sandwiches and buttered tea biscuit, baskets of fancy cakes, and plenty of reserve napkins. Have some of the assistants pass these, beginning with the plates, and to the maidservants leave the service of tea, coffee, cream and sugar (when these are given) and other drinkables.

By this time the gentlemen who first assisted will have been served and the maids can turn their attention to the ices. Ice cream can be served as above, and ices in glass cups; after this the maids can gather up the dishes in baskets. A caterer may be called upon to furnish the feast, in which event all trouble will be spared the hostess. Do not use the best glass and china at these entertainments; the danger of breakage is too great.

At many gatherings a special table is supplied for the gentlemen, where soda-water, claret cup, and sometimes wines are served. The men help themselves, but a manservant is present to supply fresh glasses, etc. This table depends entirely upon the principles of the hostess. If no hours are mentioned, the guests usually disperse about dusk, unless dancing is provided for those who wish to stay and enjoy it.

Seats.

The business of providing seats is a comparatively trifling affair when there are to be young people present, who prefer clean turf or the piazza steps to any more luxurious lounging place. For the older guests, less unconventional accommodations may be devised. Light rockers, camp chairs, wooden or wicker settees are pretty, and in harmony with the rustic nature of the reception. It is well, also, to have rugs or strips of carpet laid about, for the benefit of those who dread the dampness that some imagine rises from the ground even in the midst of the most obstinate drought. Cushions are invaluable at such times, whether used as footstools for the more delicate guests, to soften porch steps, or to convert stumps and grassy knolls into divans, for those who like low seats, but yet have a due regard for their bones or dresses.

A charming, and thoroughly rustic style of seat, can be formed of dry, sweet hay. Tossed up in generous piles, to make couches, or heaped against the trunks of trees to simulate arm chairs, they provide resting places that are not only luxurious, but uncommon. The costliest upholsterer can furnish no chairs or sofas more softly padded or more deliciously perfumed than these. With rugs or shawls thrown over them, to guard the garments of their occupants from any possible injury from moisture or from crushed insects, they are all that the most fastidious could demand.

Hammocks, also furnished with cushions, are always comfortable and picturesque, while screens are valuable additions to the furniture of this open-air drawing-room. Covered with cretonne, felt or paper of any shape and size, these are almost indispensable for shielding from draughts in breezy weather, or sheltering from obtrusive sunlight on a sultry day.

Lawn Parties for Charity.

In case of a charitable object, the refreshments are disposed of at reasonable prices. In this case the menu should be restricted to a few articles. Berries, ice cream and cake are frequently sufficient; coffee can be added. Dainty button-hole bouquets should also be provided and sold to the gentlemen for prices in advance of their value. Afterward, with the piazza for a stage, a little program of music, singing and recitations can be carried out.

At any garden party, music and singing are in order, and at very grand affairs, paid musicians of note are engaged. Orchestras also are frequently somewhere on the grounds.

Breakfasts, Luncheons and Teas.

A breakfast or a luncheon is somewhat less formal than a dinner and, hence, so much the more delightful.

The breakfast party includes both gentlemen and ladies while, as a rule, the luncheon is an entertainment given to ladies. The invitations to a breakfast may be written, engraved or verbal. If a large number of guests are invited to meet some distinguished stranger, engraved invitations are issued.

Five days or a week’s notice is usually considered sufficient, but if distinguished wits and scholars are to be secured, it is well to give a longer period, since their time, always in demand, should be bespoken well in advance. A reply to the invitation is a necessity, because the hostess wishes time, in case of non-acceptance, to secure another guest.

Where the breakfast is less stately in character, an informal note, written by the hostess, in the first person, is a pleasant method, or simply written on the lady’s visiting cards under the name in this form: Breakfast, Tuesday, ten o’clock, February fifteenth.

Artificial light is out of place, and sunshine should flood the apartment, while a certain airiness and daintiness should pervade the table appointments, quite the opposite of the elaborate display that characterizes the dinner party. Flowers should form the decorations of the table. Breakfast parties are a very convenient mode of social entertainment for those whose limited means will not admit of a more extensive display of hospitality.

Ten o’clock is the usual hour, though it may be as late as twelve, thus differing from the luncheon, which is never earlier than one.

Breakfast parties are a favorite reunion with literary people, who generally take the morning hours for leisure, leaving brain work until later in the day. Sidney Smith said he liked breakfasts, “because no man was conceited before one o’clock in the day.”

In serving breakfast the bill of fare, unless for special occasions, should never be elaborate, but rather dainty and attractive, as the appetite usually needs tempting at this early hour; fewer courses of a more delicate variety should be served than at other meals. The hostess dispenses the coffee, tea and chocolate from the head of the table; the substantials are set in front of the host, who may help the plates and hand them to the waiter to serve; the vegetables and other dishes may be handed from the side table.

Concerning the Viands.

It is well-bred to serve the breakfast with as little formality as possible, and with as few attendants; one servant, a maid, or man servant is sufficient unless the party is unusually large.

If grape-fruit be used for a first course, or orange skins filled with juice, a wreath of smilax on each plate makes a pretty decoration.

A breakfast should invariably begin with fruit, followed by a course of eggs. This latter is one of the essentials, and offers a greater variety than is perhaps known outside of France. A Spanish omelette, if properly made, is a thing to be treasured among the “pleasures of memory.” Stuffed eggs, or hard boiled eggs cut in slices, with a bechamel or white sauce, are appropriate and generally liked. A fish course, an entrée, one meat, a salad and a sweet course should follow next in order, concluding with coffee. The entrée and the meat may form one course, if a slice of duck with olives, fried chicken or some such dish be selected.

Ices of all kinds are entirely out of place at a breakfast. An omelette soufflée, peaches with cream, or best of all a fruit salad, are within the proprieties. This last never fails to call forth enthusiastic appreciation. It is simply made, and keeps perfectly for two or three days. Half a dozen oranges should be peeled, leaving no particle of the white adhering, and then cut in small pieces. Half a ripe pineapple, broken with a fork into bits and sugared to taste, and four bananas sliced, are mixed with the oranges, and the whole put on ice for three or four hours. This will be found a dish rivalling the ambrosia of high Olympus.

With the first course of fruit, finger-bowls are in readiness, but are removed at its close. Hot breads and breakfast cakes are always suitable, and oatmeal, carefully cooked and served with thick cream and powdered sugar, often follows the fruit. The closing course should be hot cakes served with honey or maple syrup.

If there are ladies present, or the hostess presides, the coffee, chocolate, etc., are poured by her, and after the first course she asks the guests when they will have it served.

The following will be found an acceptable bill of fare for an ordinary breakfast party. It can of course be varied to suit the convenience and taste of housekeepers.

Bill of Fare for Breakfast.

Melons. Grapes. Oranges. Fried Perch with Sauce Tartare.
Young Chickens with Cream Gravy. Saratoga Potatoes.
Poached Eggs on Toast. Broiled Quails. Baked Mushrooms.
Tomatoes or Celery. Bread and Butter.
Crackers. Hot Cakes. Coffee. Tea. Chocolate.

If a butler serves at a breakfast he does not wear full dress as at a dinner.

Wedding Breakfast Menu.

A menu that would be easy to prepare for a wedding breakfast would be two hot dishes consisting of chicken croquettes, lobster cutlets, oyster patties or creamed oysters. Everything else might be cold and as follows: salad, either chicken or lobster, pickled oysters, a small wedding cake, little cakes for the bridemaids, Charlotte russe and coffee. The table decorations should either be all white, or the colors used in the bridemaids’ costumes. Let the waitresses be dressed in white.

The simplest costume is in good taste for breakfast parties. Men wear morning dress, and ladies handsome but plain street costumes. Gloves are removed before going to the table. Bonnets are kept on.

Each gentleman is given the escort of a lady. The host conducts the lady who is the most distinguished guest to the table, and the hostess follows last with the gentleman whom it is desired to honor particularly.

Upon entering the dining-room the ladies are assisted to their seats, and the gentlemen then follow, and the meal is served. The signal for rising from the table is given by the hostess, with a smile and simple bow, and all proceed to the parlor, exchange a few pleasant remarks, and take their leave.

For informal breakfasts no after-call is expected, but for ceremonious entertainments of this kind the same observance of the rules of etiquette are required as for dinners and large parties.

Guests should not remain more than half an hour after leaving the table, and many do not even return to the drawing-room.

A Bachelor Breakfast.

If a breakfast has been given by a gentleman to ladies and gentlemen, the lady who chaperones it and presides as hostess, receives all the attentions of a lady in her own home. The host calls upon her soon after the event, and also calls upon his lady guests. Gentlemen usually give their breakfasts at fashionable hotels or restaurants.

A Golden-Rod Breakfast.

This is a pretty country entertainment. It can be given out of doors under wide-spreading trees. For the one in mind, great roots of golden-rod were dug up and transplanted into jardinieres (stone jars in this case) and a hedge of the nodding yellow plumes placed all about.

The carpet was of checkered sunshine and shade, and the green canopy of the leaves made the scene a perfect one. The guests, arriving at ten o’clock, were ushered into the rustic breakfast room. Four tables were used. On one pure white damask napery was enlivened by low baskets of maidenhair fern, and sprays of the same delicate plant tied with baby ribbon of green gave a cool look to the whole. The largest table was resplendent with cut glass vases filled with golden-rod. White asters gave a hint of autumn’s snow to the third table, and the ingenuity of the hostess found pleasure in decorating the remaining one with the delicate grasses and rich-colored small fruits of autumn. Gold-banded china, cut glass and silver, which had been in the family for three generations, supplemented the floral charms of the tables.

Choice Blending of Colors.

Autumn and yellow were the main ideas which guided the selection of the menu for this golden-rod breakfast. Everything possible was in the yellow tint or rich golden brown. With plenty of cream and fresh eggs and the fresh fruits of the farm to work with the menu was an easy one to furnish. Ices served in the shape of tiny melons and cakes decorated with frosted sugar. As a memento of the feast each guest retained her name card which bore a spray of pressed golden-rod fastened with narrow yellow ribbon, and on it in golden script a verse with some thought suggested by autumn or the flower.

Tiny garden hats of yellow straw, filled with golden-rod, accompanied the name cards. The golden-rod in itself proved a veritable gold mine as a help to conversation. Discussions as to whether or not it should be chosen as the national flower; descriptions by travelers of where they had seen it growing best, bright quotations of favorite authors leading to discussions of poems or books by these authors, anecdotes of travel all followed each other and naturally, led by the clever hostess who, in her quaint gown of yellow, with golden rod in her belt and a spray tucked close to the wide tortoise shell comb which held her golden hair, looked like the personification of the flower she had honored at her breakfast.

Wine at a breakfast is optional. If used, two varieties are enough, and should be in keeping with the principal dishes; claret, sherry, Burgundy are suitable.

LUNCHEONS.

A luncheon is usually an entertainment given by a woman to women. From whatever cause, luncheon parties are rapidly gaining popularity among us. Macaulay wrote, “Dinner parties are mere formalities, but you invite a man to breakfast because you want to see him,” and the same may apply to luncheon parties for ladies, these being almost exclusively their affair.

Invitations to small luncheons are usually very informal, and may be written in the style of a familiar note of friendship; or a visiting card may be used, underneath the name of which is simply written: Luncheon at one o’clock, Thursday, January eight.

The repast may be elaborately made up of salads, oysters, small game, chocolate, ices and a variety of dishes which will destroy the appetite for dinner, or it may simply consist of a cup of tea or chocolate, thin sliced bread and butter, chip beef or cold tongue, but there is the same opportunity to display good taste and a well-appointed table as at a grander entertainment.

Ladies attend formal luncheons in very elegant street or carriage costumes. They wear rich and becoming bonnets, which they do not take off. They appear with gloves, removing them when seated at the table.

The toilet of the hostess may be as elegant as she wishes, anything, in fact, short of an actual evening costume.

Luncheons of ceremony are sometimes given in honor of distinguished guests, or upon special occasions, instead of dinners, and may then be very stylish affairs. Flowers should be artistically arranged, both for the adornment of the parlor and dining-room and the table more sumptuous, though always dainty; broiled delicacies, such as do not require carving, take the place of joints, and too rich dishes, with salads, oysters, croquettes and ices; bouillon is very generally served at large or small lunches, as is also chocolate with whipped cream.

Tea is not expected to be present on these occasions. Coffee, served without cream after luncheon in the prettiest little cups the hostess can muster, is generally at hand.