Chapter XV: Business Letters (1)

NOT long ago the head of one of the biggest mail order firms in this country said: "Business needs the boys and the girls. Do not let them think they can be but cogs in the great system of wheels. More to-day than at any previous time the world needs men and women who can speak and write _themselves_ into English. Four hundred million dollars is wasted every year in unprofitable advertising alone, and as much more in bad handling of good prospects and loss of customers through inefficient letters. We look to the future generation to conserve a part of this enormous loss. If a single page advertisement in a single issue costs $7500, what you say on that page is important. Look into any current magazine, and you will be tremendously impressed with the importance of English in this branch alone, not to mention its importance in letter writing."

There is no greater power in business to-day than the ability to use convincing English in correspondence and in advertising. Any one who can write good letters, letters that the reader feels he must answer, has success ahead of him, because the market of a good letter is practically unrestricted. Wherever a letter can penetrate, it may create desire for an article and make sales.

But what is a good letter? Nothing more than a bit of good English. Can you write clear, direct, crisp, yet fluent English? Then you can write good letters--but not till then.

In modern business the letter has become the advertiser, the salesman, the collector, and the adjuster of claims. An advertisement must be attractive; it must arouse the interest of the one who sees it. A salesman must understand human nature; he must forestall objections by showing the customer how he will gain by buying. The collector and the adjuster of claims must be courteous and at the same time shrewd. If a letter is to meet all of these requirements it cannot be dashed off at a moment's notice. It must be thought out in detail and written carefully to include all that should be expressed. This means, especially in a sales letter:

1. An unusually worded opening that puts the writer's affairs in the background and the reader's gain in the foreground. Begin with _you_, not _we_. The reader is interested in himself, his own progress, his own troubles, and not in the possessions of the writer, except as the writer can show that those possessions affect him.

3. A clear, simply worded explanation of the purpose of the letter.

3. Proof of advantages to the reader.

4. Persuasion or inducement to act now.

5. Conclusion, making this action easy.

Above all, if a letter is to be good, it must not be too short. In the pursuit of brevity too many pupils in business English make the mistake of writing altogether too little to get the reader's attention; and if his attention is not aroused, the letter fails. The letter should be long enough to suggest interest in the welfare of the reader and enthusiasm for the subject under discussion.

Enthusiasm in business involves knowledge both of your project and of your customer. You cannot attempt to write a letter of any kind unless you know the facts that require it. Perhaps it is a complaint that you must try to settle. Without a knowledge of the facts, of the truth or the untruth of the claim, how can you write the letter? Sometimes it requires both time and study to gather the necessary details, but they must be gathered.

When you have your details and begin writing, be sincere. You must be so absolutely in earnest that the reader will at once feel and begin to share your enthusiasm.

Knowledge of the person to whom you are writing is fully as important as knowledge of your subject. You must get his point of view, understand his character, and appeal to the qualities that you recognize in it, to the desires or ambitions, that it shows. To a certain extent all of us are alike. There are certain fundamental interests that we all possess; these may safely be appealed to at almost all times. But our employment, our habits of life, our ways of thinking make us different. The same argument, probably, will not always bring satisfactory replies from a manufacturer, a farmer, a judge, a minister or priest, a carpenter, and a woman. Some people like to receive a long letter that goes carefully into detail; others will not take the time to read such a letter. Each customer must be studied. This is so difficult a matter that no one can expect to learn it all at once.

Finally, from the first word to the last be courteous. No matter how righteous your indignation, be courteous. You cannot afford to lose your temper. Courtesy does not imply flattery nor a lack of truth. Your letter can be strong and yet polite in tone. Lose your temper, and your letter will probably fail. Keep your temper, show thoughtfulness for the reader's interest, and your letter will more likely fulfill its purpose.

=Exercise 216--The Form of the Letter=

Before we look at some actual letters to judge of their effectiveness, we must learn the conventional form of a letter, the parts which many years of use have shown to be necessary. There are six parts to a formal or business letter:

1. The heading, which includes the writer's address
and the date.

2. The introduction, which includes the name and the
address of the one to whom you are writing.

3. The salutation; for example, Dear Sir:

4. The body of the letter, the important part.

5. The courteous close; for example, Yours truly,

6. The signature.

Each part ends with a period except the salutation, which ends with a colon, and the courteous close, which ends with a comma. The various groups of words within the heading and the introduction are separated by commas.

Why does the salutation end with a colon?

Why does the courteous close end with a comma?

The Arrangement

In the following, notice the spacing. If the heading is short, it is put on one line; as,

_Heading_ Hilliard, Fla., June 30, 1914.

_Introduction_ Mr. Thomas Barrett,
Boston, Mass.

_Salutation_ Dear Sir:

_Body_ ....................................
.........................................
......................

_Courteous close_ Yours truly,

_Signature_ Samuel Garth

If the heading is long, arrange it in one of the following ways:

1

334 Lexington Ave., Chicago,
May 19, 1915.

Mr. Thomas Barrett,
Boston, Mass.
Dear Sir:

2

334 Lexington Ave.,
Chicago, Ill., May 19, 1915.

3

334 Lexington Ave.,
Chicago, Ill., May 19, 1915.

4

334 Lexington Ave.,
Chicago, Ill.,
May 19, 1915.

The superscription on the envelope is arranged and punctuated like the introduction in the letter, except that the punctuation may be omitted from the end of lines.

There is a growing tendency to "block" the different parts of a letter; that is, to begin each item of each part directly below the first, with no indentation.

There is also a tendency to use no abbreviations (except for titles like _Mr._), the name of the month and of the state and the word _street_, _avenue_, or _building_ being spelled out.

NOTE.--The punctuation as shown in the examples given
above is that in more prevalent use. Certain writers,
however, advocate the omission from the formal parts
of the letter of commas at the end of lines and of
periods (except to show abbreviations).

Arrange the following headings, supplying capitals and punctuation marks:

1. 55 water st mobile ala june 16 19--

2. calmar iowa september 1 19--

3. 453 marquette building chicago ill jan 5 19--

4. 123 salem st springfield mass june 23 19--

5. highland park grand haven mich may 3 19--

6. 220 broadway new york n y february 15 19--

7. 78 main street portland oregon december 10 19--

8. 32 lincoln st kansas city mo oct 2 19--

9. room 15 1321 pennsylvania ave washington d c sept 2
19--

10. 25 chestnut st philadelphia pa april 14 19--

11. 212 tribune building new york n y march 2 19--

12. 98 dorchester ave boston mass feb 12 19--

13. 24 milk st boston mass June 14 19--

14. 231 west 39th st new york city march 4 19--

15. 345 newark ave jersey city n j (supply date)

16. 44 fifth ave detroit mich sept 1 19--

17. 102 west 42d st denver colorado (date)

18. Explain the difference between (16) and (17).
Notice that the name of the street in each case is a
numeral. Why is it spelled out in (16) and not in
(17)?

=Exercise 217=

Supplying the name of the firm and the business engaged in, write letter heads using the items given in Exercise 216. For example:

BARRETT, BROWN & CO.
_Groceries_
55 Water Street

Decorah, Iowa, -- 19

When may & be used?

What is the advantage of using a letter head?

In making letter heads, imagine you are a printer. Arrange the items so that they may show to the best advantage. Let your lines of printing or writing be of different lengths. Add any details that you wish, such as trade-mark designs or the names of officers.

Arrange and punctuate:

1. citronelle business mens association citronelle
alabama may 2 19-- mr john harvey 19 e monroe st
rochester n y dear sir

2. 173 broadway new york June 10 19-- mr walter thomas
191 e main st waltham mass dear sir

3. 25 broad st maplewood n h messrs hausen & ottman 18
la salle station chicago ill gentlemen (supply date)

4. john randolph & co druggist 14 jefferson st
charleston s c jan 8 19-- gerhard mennen & co newark n
j gentlemen (letter head)

5. 43 south 5th ave madison wis aug 8 19-- the white
mountain freezer co nashua n h gentlemen

Address an envelope for each of the above, using the following as a model.

+------------------------------------------+
| |
| |
| |
| |
| Barrett, Brown & Co., |
| 55 Water Street, |
| Decorah, Iowa. |
| |
+------------------------------------------+

=Exercise 218--Cautions=

_The Heading_

Always date your letters.

Give your full address, even if you are certain that the one to whom you are writing knows it.

_The Introduction_

The person addressed must always be given a title. If you address one man, use _Mr._; if a firm, use _Messrs._; if a woman, _Miss_ or _Mrs._ If a man has a title like _Professor_ or _Doctor_, it should be used, and _Mr._, of course, omitted.

_Hon._ (Honorable) is used for a person who holds, or who has held, a public office. It is a very formal title.

_Esq._(Esquire) is a legal form used by some correspondents in addressing any man. It is an English usage. It always follows the name, and, if it is used, _Mr._ is omitted. In this country _Mr._ is preferable.

In writing to a man in his official capacity, the following form is correct when there is no street number or when the title is short. Notice that _Mr._ is omitted.

G. N. Fratt, Cashier,
First National Bank,
Racine, Wis.

The following is correct when the title is long:

Mr. John Frederick Pierce,
Ass't. Engineer of Bridges and Buildings,
607 White Building, Seattle, Wash.

Notice that in the last example, the city and the state are put on the same line as the street in order to make the three lines of about the same length. Four lines might have been used.

_The Salutation_

If you address one man, the salutation is _Dear Sir_; as,

Mr. John Pierce,
Seattle, Wash.

Dear Sir:

If you address a firm, the salutation is _Gentlemen_; as,

Messrs. Brownleigh & King,
Portland, Oregon.

Gentlemen:

If you address a woman, married or single, the salutation in business letters is _Dear Madam_; as,

1.

Mrs. John Pierce,
Seattle, Wash.

Dear Madam:

2.

Miss Florence Pierce,
Seattle, Wash.

Dear Madam:

A more familiar form of salutation is either of the following:

1

Miss Florence Pierce,
Seattle, Wash.
My dear Miss Pierce:

2

Miss Florence Pierce,
Seattle, Wash.
Dear Miss Pierce:

In using _Hon._, the salutation is usually _Sir_.

_The Courteous Close_

The courteous close corresponds in tone to the salutation. If the salutation is _Dear Sir_, _Gentlemen_, or _Dear Madam_, the courteous close should be one of the following:

Yours truly,
Yours very truly,
Very truly yours,
Respectfully yours,
Yours respectfully,
Sincerely yours,
Very sincerely yours,

If the salutation is _Sir_, the courteous close should be _Respectfully yours_ or _Yours respectfully_.

If the body of the letter and the courteous close do not agree in tone, the effect is often ridiculous. Suppose, for instance, that the courteous close of (2) under Exercise 220 were _Yours respectfully_. What would be the effect?

_The Signature_

If an unmarried woman is signing a business letter, she should avoid confusion by prefixing (Miss) to her name.

A married woman should sign her own name, as, _Alice Pierce_; she should indicate her title, as _Mrs. John F. Pierce_, either below the other or at one side.

No other title should be prefixed to a signature.

If a letter is signed by the name of a firm, the signature of the one who dictated the letter is usually added; as,

Yours very truly,
Smith Lumber Co.
by ----

This sort of signature gives a letter the "personal touch." Explain.

Folding a Letter

Business letter paper is about eight by ten inches. In folding a letter sheet, (1) turn the lower edge up to about one-eighth of an inch from the top; press the fold firmly, keeping the edges even; (2) turn the paper so that the folded edge is at your _left_ hand; (3) fold _from_ you a little less than one-third the width of the sheet; (4) fold the upper edge _down_ toward you so that it projects a trifle beyond the folded edge. Without turning it over, pick it up and insert it in the envelope, putting in _first_ the edge that was folded last.

Write the address and the salutation for:

1. A business house in your town.

2. Mr. John R. Tobin, president of the Detroit State
Bank, Detroit, Mich.

3. Miss Mabel Gunther, Shullsburg, Wis.

4. Professor C. M. Watson, Harvard College, Cambridge,
Mass.

5. John F. Campbell, Manager Bond Department, First
Trust and Savings Bank, Boston, Mass.

6. Taylor and Critchfield, Chicago, Ill.

7. Mrs. Thomas D. MacDonald, 126 E. Second Street,
Washington, Ia.

Write the courteous close and the signature for:

1. A letter from a business house in your town signed
by F. R. Wilson.

2. A letter from Miss Mabel Gunther (2 above).

3. A letter from Professor C. M. Watson (4 above).

4. A letter signed by John F. Campbell (5 above).

5. A letter from Taylor and Critchfield signed by you
yourself.

6. A letter from Mrs. Thomas D. MacDonald (7 above).

=Exercise 219--Ordering Goods=

If an order includes a number of separate items, it is usually written on a separate sheet of paper. Firms often supply blanks for this purpose. If the order is short, it forms part of the letter. In any case, each item is placed on a separate line, so that the items may be checked as the order is filled. In the following, notice the arrangement and the punctuation:

Hamilton, Montana, Feb. 16, 1914.

Messrs. MacBride & Dickens,
New York, N. Y.

Gentlemen:

At your earliest convenience please ship me the
following via the Northern Express Co. from St. Paul:

6 doz. A 68 assorted sizes Men's Black Caps @ 1.50 9.00
5 doz. D 71 Men's Cotton Handkerchiefs @ .60 3.00
5 doz. X 30 Men's Linen Handkerchiefs @ 2.00 10.00
------
$22.00

Enclosed find a draft on New York for twenty-two
dollars.

Yours truly,
S. D. Jensen

Write the letters outlined below:

1. Order fifty copies of the Business Arithmetic that
you are using. How shall you pay for them?

2. Clip from a newspaper an advertisement of
groceries. Imagine that you are a housekeeper, and
spend ten dollars to the best advantage, ordering
several articles.

3. Bring in an advertisement of household
necessities--linens, tinware, etc. Spend five dollars,
buying several articles.

4. Bring in an advertisement of furniture. Write a
letter ordering enough to furnish a parlor or a dining
room. Have the amount charged to your account.

5. A magazine offers one of several books as a premium
with a year's subscription. Answer the advertisement.

=Exercise 220--The Tone of the Letter=

Undue familiarity or an evidence of loss of temper will at once frustrate the object of a letter. A dignified letter never shows either. Just what constitutes a dignified letter is hard to define but fairly easy to feel. This much is certain: it must be simple in structure, direct in its wording, and so sincere in feeling that no one will doubt its truth. Any extravagance of language, therefore, has no place in a dignified letter.

Study the following to see whether they show dignity:

1

Tuesday, 5 P.M.

Miss Sarah Howard,
Denver, Colorado.

Dear Madam:

I have a great piece of CONFIDENTIAL news for you.

Take advantage of the remarkable offer our company is
making to you, and it will mean thousands of DOLLARS
in your pocket. Understand that this offer is not open
to every one. You have been especially selected. You
are the only one in your town who will hear of this
remarkable offer.

2

Elsworth, Brown & Co.,
120 Jefferson Ave.,
Detroit, Mich.

Gentlemen:

What is the matter with our last order? Have you
people gone out of business, or are you asleep? If we
don't get that order by the third, you'll never hear
from us again.

3

A letter to Mrs. Bixby, written Nov. 21, 1864.

Dear Madam:

I have been shown in the file of the War Department a
statement of the Adjutant General of Massachusetts
that you are the mother of five sons who have died
gloriously on the field of battle. I feel how weak and
fruitless must be any words of mine which should
beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming.
But I cannot refrain from tendering to you the
consolation that may be found in the thanks of the
republic they died to save. I pray that our Heavenly
Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement,
and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved
and lost and the solemn pride that must be yours to
have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of
freedom.

Yours very sincerely and respectfully,
Abraham Lincoln

=Exercise 221=

In writing the following letters, be definite and courteous:

1. You have advertised your eight-room, furnace-heated
house for sale for $3,500. A letter of inquiry desires
particulars. Answer it.

2. You live on a side street, which for the last week
has not been lighted. Write to the editor of the
paper, or to a town official, whichever you think
would remedy the matter. Be courteous. A letter to an
editor is begun: To the Editor of ----.

3. The cars on which you ride every day are very
dirty. Write to the mayor. He is addressed: Hon. ----.

4. You wish to have a telephone installed. Make
application.

5. Two weeks ago you wrote (4). Still you have no
telephone. Write again, stating the substance of (4)
and asking the reason for the delay.

6. Write the telephone company's reply. Be very
courteous. What good reason could you give for the
delay?

7. You understand that your Congressman has the
privilege of recommending a young man for the entrance
examinations of your state university. Write to him,
asking that he recommend you. Remember that he is a
stranger to you. What should you tell him?

=Exercise 222.--Mistaken Ideas in Letter Writing=

It is too bad that, to a number of people, the term _business letter_ conveys the idea of a colorless, stilted composition full of trite and almost meaningless business formulas. No one reads such a letter unless he has to, and surely that is not the kind one should practice writing. Below are given a few of the expressions that should be avoided.

I. Sometimes a writer tries to impress a reader with the volume of business he is doing by showing haste in his correspondence; as, in

1. Omitting the subject; as,

_Wrong_: In reply to your question will say ----
_Right_: In reply to your question I will say ----

2. Omitting articles and prepositions; as,

_Wrong_: Direct package care Western Canning Co.
_Right_: Direct the package in care of the Western Canning Co.

3. Using abbreviations

_a._ Of the introduction. Write out the introduction
in detail, both name and address. Abbreviating this
part of the letter is highly discourteous.

_b._ In the body of the letter; as,

_Wrong_: The Co. sent a no. of large orders last year.

_c._ Of the courteous close; as,

_Wrong_: Yours etc.
_Wrong_: Yours resp'y.

4. Using a phrase as a sentence; as,

_Wrong_: Yours of the 6th at hand and contents noted.

It is much better to refer indirectly to the receipt of a letter; as,

In the order you sent us on Aug. 5 ----

The same sort of mistake is seen in the all too frequent closing:

_Wrong_: Hoping that we hear from you soon,
Yours truly,
_Right_: Hoping that we hear from you soon, we are
Yours truly,

Why use such an expression at all? Avoid _hoping_, _trusting_, _awaiting_, or any other artificial closing.

II. Sometimes a writer makes an effort to be extremely courteous, but fails because he uses hackneyed wording; as,

1. _Kindly._--A good word in itself but greatly
abused.

2. _We beg to state._--Never use _beg_ in this sense.
You have no right to beg attention; earn it.

3. _Your favor_, _your esteemed favor_, _your valued
favor_.--Say, _Your letter_.

4. _Will you be so good as to._--Belongs in the class
with _beg to state_. Make your requests courteously,
but directly.

5. _Would say._--Avoid this expression.

III. Sometimes in an effort to be clear a writer uses _same_ as a pronoun; as,

_Wrong_: If the books are not satisfactory, return
same.

This is one of the worst of the distinctly business blunders. _Same_ is never a pronoun. Write to a man as you talk to him and you will not use _same_ in this way. (See Exercise 88.)

IV. Sometimes in order to get attention a writer will use a liberal sprinkling of dashes and capitals, probably in imitation of advertising copy. Better than such artificial means is the attraction of a well worded letter.

* * * * *

Criticise the following letters, pointing out all the expressions that should be improved. Rewrite the letters.

1

Gentlemen:

We beg to acknowledge your esteemed favor of Apr. 6.
In regard to shoes received by you in poor shape as
per complaint, would say that on receipt of same will
try to locate cause of trouble. If due to defect in
manufacture, will credit you with value of same.

Hoping this is satisfactory to you,

Yours truly,

2

Dear Sir:

Yours of March 18 at hand. Referring to matter of
short weight, I beg to call your attention to C & A
car 87324, which you loaded for us March 7 at your
Auburn mine, gross weight 121,400 lbs. This car was
check weighed at Peoria March 11 on your company's
scales and showed gross weight 113,200 lbs. or
shortage 8,200 lbs. Having investigated car, I find
same was in good order and no indication of leakage,
and it would appear to be a case of carelessness at
time of loading. Therefore will request you to kindly
send me cr. memo, on 8,200 lbs.

Yours truly,

=Exercise 223--The Sales Letter=

The object of the sales letter is to make the reader buy. How can you do it? To begin with, get his point of view--that of the user. Then imagine that he is present and talk to him on paper. Get his interest with your opening sentence. Explain what you have to sell. Show him that he needs it. Whet his desire to possess it, and, finally, make it easy and imperative for him to order today.

The opening paragraph is all-important. It may make or mar a letter. If it is stilted or lacks directness, if it hasn't the personal, natural tone that makes the reader feel you are talking to him, or if it is stereotyped in its wording, the letter will probably go to the waste-basket.

Contrast the two letters that follow. Both were written to accompany a catalogue. Notice that the first begins and ends in a stereotyped way; has too few details to arouse interest; asks for an order but has no inducement to give one now; and, throughout, lacks the personal, convincing tone that makes the second a good selling letter. Notice that the second begins with _you_, not with _we_, and keeps the same _you_ attitude to the end.

Turn back to the five essentials of a letter given on page 230. See if you can differentiate the five in the second letter.

1

Dear Sir:

In compliance with your request of recent date we are
sending you our latest general catalogue, inasmuch as
we do not know which department catalogue you wish. We
also have specialized books for jewelry, furniture,
hardware, and drygoods. On request we shall be glad to
send any one of these also.

We carry the biggest line of Variety Store Leaders in
the country, and our goods are always of the best. We
take particular pains to acquaint our customers with
the latest thing in the trade, and to give
business-getting suggestions. Our Co-operative Bureau
cheerfully answers all inquiries.

Trusting we shall hear from you with an order, we are

Yours truly,

2

Dear Sir:

Under separate cover you will receive a copy of our
latest general catalogue, published especially for
owners of Variety Stores. We are sending you the
general catalogue because we do not know whether you
are interested in a particular department. However, if
your business specializes in any one class of
goods--such as jewelry, furniture, hardware, or
drygoods--we shall be glad to supply you with the
departmental book you need. On the enclosed postal
card simply check the one you wish, and mail the card
to-day. We shall forward the catalogue at once.

You may know that we always have on hand between two
hundred and two hundred and fifty different Variety
Store Leaders, affording you a wide selection of
high-class goods of the finest materials, the neatest
workmanship, and the latest styles at very low prices.
After glancing over the catalogue you will agree with
us that in every department of our huge business a
dollar has full purchasing power.

A unique feature of our business, moreover, is the
Co-operative Bureau, which you will find a decided
help in building up your business. Each week the
Bureau sends out a Bulletin, acquainting our customers
with important business events in the larger trade
centers, with suggestions for new advertising and
selling methods, with notices of new stock additions
that make especially good leaders, and with advice how
best to display them. The Bureau invites
correspondence and sends customers, absolutely free
of charge, advice on new store arrangements, window
decorations, and advertising plans.

Your first order makes you a co-operating member and
entitles you to all the privileges of the Bureau and
the services of an institution with wide experience
and with a recognized reputation for square-dealing.
Fill out the enclosed order blank, mail it to-day, and
receive this week's Bulletin by return mail. It
contains several splendid suggestions for novel,
inexpensive advertising.

Yours truly,

The letter given above is personal and yet dignified. Usually that is the best style to use, and the one that we wish to practice writing. Sometimes, however, results can best be obtained by using the colloquial or even jocular tone illustrated in the following letter sent to a retailer in Ottumwa, Iowa:

Dear Sir:

We sell cheese, a new brand, the finest kind you ever
tasted, put up in the most attractive package, to sell
at the most attractive price. Called Par Excellence
Creme, wrapped in silver foil with a gold label, it
sells for fifteen cents and costs you ten. Ever hear a
better proposition?

Better buy now before your rival gets ahead of you.
Everybody's calling for it. Why? Because we're
advertising everywhere. It has been out only one
month, and yet sales have trebled our highest
expectations. Half the sales of a new cheese depend on
the package and the price; the other half depend on
the quality. All three are right in Par Excellence
Creme.

Mr. S. R. King, our Iowa representative, tried to see
you last week, but, unfortunately, he was unable to
find you in. Now, he carries a full line of our
samples, and it's worth the time it takes just to see
how good they look, even if you don't care to buy. How
about it? Don't you want to see them? Mr. King will be
in Ottumwa next Wednesday.

Yours truly,

This style is commonly called "snappy." It has its advantage, but should be used only rarely. Above all, if you do use it, avoid the dash. Notice how the dash spoils the following:

Dear Sir:

Have you ever eaten that king of nuts--the budded or
grafted paper shell pecan--the nut whose kernel is as
nutritious as beef and as sweet and delicious as
honey--the nut that is so delightfully palatable and
so wholesome, the discriminating epicures of two
continents have set their seal of approval on
it--creating a demand that literally cannot be
supplied--even at prices ranging as high as a dollar a
pound.

To use the dash in this way seems to imply that you do not understand punctuation or sentence structure. If the paragraph is rewritten, removing the dashes and dividing into sentences, we get a much stronger appeal. The dash makes for weakness rather than for strength because it suggests hysterics.

Dear Sir:

Have you ever eaten the king of nuts, the budded or
grafted paper shell pecan? The kernel is as nutritious
as beef and as sweet as honey. It is so wholesome and
so delicious that discriminating epicures of two
continents have set their approval on it, creating a
demand that literally cannot be supplied, even at
prices ranging as high as a dollar a pound.

A very good way to open a sales letter is to get the attention by a bit of narration containing direct quotations, as shown in the following:

Dear Sir:

"It saves seven per cent."

So said Mr. John H. Samuels, a manufacturer of
Birmingham, Ala.

He had watched his bookkeepers at their work, and it
seemed to him that their main business was turning and
flattening the springy pages of the bulgy ledger. Ten
seconds were wasted, he said, every time a page was
turned--almost every time an entry was made--and
hardly more than two minutes were needed to make the
entry. That was enough. Each of his twenty men was
wasting seven per cent of his time.

"Try hinged paper," suggested the head bookkeeper.

Accordingly, Mr. Samuels tried several kinds of hinged
paper, only to find that the hinged section tore,
broke, or cracked. The time that the clerks now saved
in flattening the leaves they wasted in rewriting the
pages that had torn out.

He had no more faith in hinged papers by the time that
he saw the advertisement of the Benton hinge. "As
strong as the rest of the paper!" he scoffed. "We'll
see about this!"

"Send me a sample," he wrote us. "If your ad tells the
truth, you get my order."

We sent it. He tested it. He pulled it, crumpled it,
ruled on it, erased it on both sides, and even creased
it. But it did not break.

Very cautiously and doubtingly he tried the paper in
one ledger for one month. He found that the book
rolled flat whenever it was opened, that no hinge
tore, and that every page could be used from binder to
outer edge.

"It does the work," he told our salesman at the end of
the month. "It saves seven per cent. Send me a
consignment."

If you, too, are paying seven per cent of your
bookkeepers' salaries for waste motion, let us send
you a sample. It will cut down your expenses as it cut
down Mr. Samuels'.

Remember that you put yourself under no obligation to
us. You take no risks. Simply promise to use the paper
if we send it free.

Yours truly,

=Exercise 224=

Study the following letters and letter openings for good and bad qualities:

1

Dear Sir:

People who have not had much of what the world calls
"good luck" find it hard to believe an opportunity
when it comes--they don't feel sure about it--on the
other hand, people who have had many opportunities
have a natural confidence that every opening presented
is intended for them and they grasp it with an
assurance that begets success.

You may be one of those who have not had many chances
to do what you would like to do and therefore not sure
that my offer is an opportunity. For that reason let
us again go over the points of advantage....

2

Dear Sir:

I am taking the liberty of writing you again because I
fear you do not fully realize the value of the
proposition I am offering you. Why, man, it's the
opportunity of a life-time!... (extended for three
pages.)

3

Dear Sir:

If we wanted to know just what kind of person you are,
do you know where we'd go to find out? We'd ask your
old friends and neighbors, who know all about you from
close association.

If you want to find out about us--what we are doing
and what improvements we are making in southern
Florida--the best place to get this information is
from the people of Florida, who know the facts from
first-hand observation. The enclosed clipping is an
editorial expression--not a paid advertisement--from
the Ft. Meyers Press. The editor is under no
obligation to us and is merely expressing the opinion
of the people here. . . .

4

New York, Right Now.

A DEAL OF IMPORTANCE

It affects YOU! It is so important I must forego the
pleasure of a personal letter in order to write 5,000
people to-day--500 of whom--the wide-awake ones who
read this letter through--will be able to coin it into
dollars--real money--money you can spend.

What we now offer you has never before been offered by
any body in the world. It is a combination we are
fortunate enough, just at this time, to be able to
offer you, because of an important deal we have just
closed--a deal that may easily spell dollars to you.
Read every word of this letter--it may be--possibly
is--the only thing to make you a successful and
wealthy man. . . .

5

R F D 4 Logansport, Ind.
8-26-11.

Mr. M. H. Smith, etc.
Dear Sir:

I acknowledge getting your telegram over the telephone
yesterday, and if I had been in funds would have
answered by return telegram, but such is life. I
accommodated a friend by loaning him $750, which will
probably be paid the last week of never. I thank you
for the offer, and when I am in funds will call on you
either personally or by letter.

Very truly yours,

=Exercise 225--Opening an Account=

Imagine that you are manager of a wholesale dry goods house. You have received an order from P. H. Powley, 23 Water street, Franklin, Mich. As you do not know Mr. Powley, write him, stating in as courteous a way as possible that, since this is his first order, he must either furnish references or send a remittance. Make your letter direct and personal. Include some good selling talk.

The exercise above illustrates the method that might be adopted in case of a small order. If Mr. Powley had sent a large order, the wholesale house would no doubt consult a financial agency to discover his financial condition; his _rating_, it is called. If his name were not found in the book of the agency, the wholesale house would require Mr. Powley to send a correct account of his financial standing; that is, a list of his assets and liabilities. If he refused, they would not do business with him. Why? The principal financial agencies are Bradstreet and Dun. Besides these, there are many mercantile agencies. They give any information that is required concerning a business man. All such information is confidential.

In connection with this exercise study the letters that follow:

REQUEST TO OPEN AN ACCOUNT

Madison, Wis., Sept. 16, 1915.

Wilson, Brighton, & Co.,
68 Broadway, New York.

Gentlemen:

Until recently I was in the employ of Samuel Stratton
& Co. of Milwaukee, but I have now started a business
of my own, for which I should like to open an account
with your house. As to my business ability and
financial standing, I refer you to my late employers,
Samuel Stratton & Co. of Milwaukee, and to the Madison
State Bank of this city.

If on investigation you decide to accept me as a
customer, will you please send the goods on the
enclosed order, deducting your usual discount for
cash? Upon receipt of the goods and of the invoice, I
shall at once forward a sight draft on the Broadway
National Bank of your city.

Respectfully yours,
George R. Scott

REPLY NO. 1

Dear Sir:

In seeking information through the usual outside
channels for basing credit for you, we find our
reports have not been sufficient in detail to permit
us to arrange this matter satisfactorily. These
reports all speak very highly of you in a personal
way, but do not give us the required information
financially.

We assume you want our goods for your Christmas trade.
It is imperative, therefore, that we ship immediately.
We suggest that on this order you send us a draft, in
consideration of which we shall be pleased to allow
you a special discount of 4%. Understand that we
suggest these terms on this first order only, as we
feel confident that we can easily arrange a credit
basis for future shipments. We sincerely trust you
will take no offense at the above suggestion, as we
have made it in your interest.

Yours very truly,

REPLY NO. 2

Dear Sir:

Thank you for the order you sent us yesterday. Its
size confirms the belief we have always held that
D---- is a rapidly growing business center, the right
place for a retailer to settle and prosper.

After careful consideration of your letter, however,
we have decided to hold back your order for a short
time. You cannot regret this more than we do. We do
not like to lose your account, and yet, under the
circumstances, we feel we cannot send you the order.
We hope you can sell the property you mentioned in
your letter and thus clear up the balances against
you. Then we shall gladly open an account for you.

We are especially sorry we cannot send the order at
once, as you no doubt need your fall stock now. Don't
you think it would be the best solution if you would
send us your remittance for $250 now, so that we may
send the goods? We know what it means to buy in the
open market so late in the season. We assure you that
on receipt of a remittance the order will go through
immediately.

Yours truly,

=Exercise 226=

1. Order from the Grand Rapids Furniture Co., Grand
Rapids, Mich., 5 mahogany rockers, 1 Turkish rocker, 2
brass beds, 12 dining room chairs, 2 dining room
tables. Supply catalogue numbers and give shipping
directions.

2. The Grand Rapids Furniture Co. replies,
acknowledging the receipt of the above order (give
date) but stating that you did not mention how you
would pay for the goods. On receipt of a certified
check to cover the amount, or of the names of two
reliable references, they will be pleased to send you
the order. Make this a good sales letter.

=Exercise 227=

1. You are a florist of Rockford, Ill. Write to S. M.
Porter & Son, 155 S. State Street, Chicago, saying
that this fall you are opening a new department of
Landscape Gardening. Judging by advance orders, you
will need approximately 200 shade trees, maples and
poplars; 200 fruit trees of various kinds; and several
hundred flowering shrubs. You will probably duplicate
the order in the spring. Ask for terms, saying that
you would like to open an account. Give two
references.

2. S. M. Porter & Son reply, acknowledging your order,
and saying that they will be pleased to do business
with you on sixty days' credit, terms 50 and 5%. If
this is satisfactory, they will add your name to their
books. Make it a sales letter.

=Exercise 228=

1. Samuel Radford of Douglas, Mich., wishes to buy a
motor boat. He orders of the Modern Steel Boat Co.,
manufacturers of high grade motor boats, Detroit,
Mich., boat No. 172. page 425, catalogue No. 10. The
price as listed is $192. He accepts the offer they
made him ---- (date), of ---- (terms) and encloses a
certified check for the amount. He gives full shipping
directions. (Be sure you can do this.) He asks how
cheaply he can obtain cushions for the boat.

2. The company reply: They have shipped the boat. (Is
this sufficiently detailed?) A set of new cushions to
fit the boat costs $25. They have a set of secondhand
cushions in excellent condition for $15. If Radford
desires either of these, he should wire at once at
their expense.

3. Telegraph his decision.

=Exercise 229=

1. Messrs. Lee and Watkins, druggists of Gallon, Ohio,
wish to open an account with Pierce, King & Co., 17 S.
Albany St., Baltimore, Md., for the purchase of large
orders on ninety days' credit. They say they do a very
large business as they have the only drug store within
a radius of several miles. They give several names as
references. Write the letter.

2. You are a traveling salesman for Pierce, King & Co.
They write you at the Union Hotel, Columbus, telling
you of the foregoing letter, a copy of which they
enclose, and asking you to investigate the standing of
Messrs. Lee and Watkins.

Reply that you visited the drug store in question on a
Tuesday (give date), because in your experience the
early part of the week is very quiet in the business
of small towns. Say that two clerks were kept busy
constantly and that several people spoke of the
enormous business done on Saturdays and market days.
The firm has good credit in the town. You are
satisfied that the gentlemen in question are reliable.

3. Write from Pierce, King & Co. to Messrs. Lee and
Watkins, acknowledging the receipt of their letter
---- (date) and expressing pleasure in being able to
enter their name on the firm's books. Write as
courteous a letter as you can.

4. Imagine that the salesman's reply (2) had been
unfavorable. Write to Messrs. Lee and Watkins,
refusing them credit but trying to get their cash
business.

=Exercise 230--Letters Requesting Payment=

It is better not to make threats in a collection letter except as a last resort, and then the threat should be carried out. It is advisable in a first letter of the kind to take for granted that a customer is honest and that the failure to pay is an oversight. If some inducement for further purchases is included in the letter in the form of good selling talk, a remittance will probably be sent, and perhaps another order as well.

If the customer, however, takes no notice of the first letter, a second, making the request for payment more urgent, may follow. The tone of the second letter and subsequent letters will depend on the value that you put on the customer's trade. Finally, if he ignores all of these letters, dally no longer. Say that if payment is not made by a certain date, you will draw on him at sight. If he does not honor the draft, put the matter in the hands of your attorney.

* * * * *

Study the following letters. Select from them those that you think would make a good series:

1

Dear Sir:

Ten days ago we mailed you a statement of your
account, which was due at that time. As we have heard
nothing from you, we have concluded that the letter
must have miscarried. We are, therefore, enclosing a
duplicate of the former statement. We trust that it
will reach you safely and have your prompt attention.

Yours very truly,

2

Dear Sir:

Evidently you, too, are experiencing the increase in
business that our customers in general are reporting.
In the rush of orders you probably have overlooked the
fact that your account with us is three weeks
over-due. Your remittances hitherto have been very
prompt, and we trust that this reminder will be
treated equally promptly.

By the way, have you found that the Holeless Socks are
coming up to our guarantee? From all parts of the
country we are getting flattering reports in the form
of big orders. We feel that they merit their
popularity, and with the extensive advertising
campaign that we have inaugurated they are bound to
continue in favor.

We are especially prepared at present to give you an
attractive price, enabling you to realize large
profits on these socks. If you need more of them, we
can make shipment at once.

Yours very truly,

3

Dear Sir:

In looking over our accounts, we find that your
purchases have lately been increasing considerably and
that your payments have been few and unimportant.
Statements have been sent regularly, we believe, but
have probably been overlooked because of the stress of
your other affairs. Such things, of course, can happen
with any of us, especially when we have many other
matters to look after.

We have always valued your account, and we greatly
desire our pleasant relations to continue. As the
amount that you owe us is now long over-due, we would
appreciate your returning the enclosed bill to be
receipted during the next few days.

Yours very truly,

4

Dear Sir:

Your attention has twice been called to your account
for $----, but for some reason you do not reply to our
letters.

Our terms, as you know, are thirty days, and we cannot
allow a longer extension except by special
arrangement. We have borne the matter very patiently,
realizing that unusual conditions sometimes prevent
one's doing as he desires. At the same time, it is
entirely out of reason that your account should still
be owing at this time. May we not expect your
remittance by return mail?

Should we not hear from you by the 15th, we shall draw
on you, and, if you have not remitted in the meantime,
please provide for our draft upon its arrival.

Yours truly,

5

Dear Sir:

On March 15 we drew on you for $250. Our draft has
been returned to us by the Blank Bank, unpaid.

Your account is long past due, and, although we are
willing to do almost anything to accommodate our
customers, we feel that in your case the time for
concessions has passed. We desire your check at once
for the balance due us.

You are credited with using considerable money in your
business, and it would seem that you should without
difficulty be able to take care of amounts such as you
owe us. If we do not hear from you by April 1, we
shall send a second draft. If you permit this to be
returned unpaid, we shall be compelled to take action
to force collection. We wish to express the hope,
however, that you will not allow this to be done.

Yours truly,

=Exercise 231=

Letter (2) above is written primarily to get a check for the over-due account and incidentally to get another order. Suppose that the customer sends an order and no money. You do not wish to extend further credit until the old balance is paid. Write a tactful letter, saying that you will hold back the order until you receive a check to pay the over-due account.

=Exercise 232=

Write the letters in the following transaction:

1. J. F. Brookmeyer, Peru, Ind., is a dealer in shoes.
He opened an account with you a month ago. He has
purchased shoes to the amount of $250. You rendered an
account on the first of the month, two weeks ago.
Write a letter saying that you do not carry over
accounts from month to month, as your small margin of
profit makes it impossible for you to carry an
irregular account. Make it a courteous sales letter as
well as a collection letter.

2. J. H. Brookmeyer sends a certified check for the
full amount, apologizing for the delay.

=Exercise 233=

1. John R. Phillips, 32 New York Building, Seattle,
Washington, owes you $470. Write him, saying that you
need the money. Give a good reason. Make it a
courteous, friendly letter.

2. Mr. Phillips has not answered (1). Write him again,
saying that if you do not get a remittance by ----,
you will draw on him at sight.

3. Your bank notifies you that your draft has been
returned unpaid. Write Phillips, asking for an
explanation. Say that unless you hear by ----, you
will bring suit.

4. Phillips writes an apologetic letter, giving
illness as the reason for his non-payment. He says he
was in the hospital and did not receive letters (1)
and (2). He encloses fifty dollars and promises to pay
at least half the balance next month, the full amount
within sixty days. Write his letter.

5. Accept this offer.

=Exercise 234--Answering Complaints=

1. A mail order house discovered that its files
contained the names of 10,000 people who had once been
customers but who had not bought anything for the last
two or three years. Write a letter in the name of the
manager frankly asking why the customer has stopped
buying. Advertise the stock.

2. One correspondent in reply demands a return of $16,
which he had paid for a coat that was "not worth a
cent." How would you reply to this letter so that the
one making the complaint would send in an order? Write
the letter.

In connection with this exercise study the following letter:

Dear Sir:

We wish to acknowledge your letter of April 16, in
which you say that on April 14 you received a bill for
five S & Q Railway bonds, which Mr. Wensley had sold
you on the 11th at 100 and interest; that you sent us
your check for the amount on the same day; and that on
the 16th, two days afterward, you received a letter
from us, offering a new block of these bonds at 99 and
interest.

This complication was brought about through a peculiar
chain of circumstances, an explanation of which, we
feel, is only just both to you and to us. When Mr.
Wensley came to the office on Saturday, the 12th, he
told us that he had your order for five of these bonds
at 100¼ and interest. The market price was then 100
and interest, and we were very glad to give you the
benefit of the more favorable price. At that time we
had no intimation that more of these bonds were
coming on the market. Quite unexpectedly on Monday we
received notice from our Boston office that they had
in view a new block of the bonds. Even at that time we
did not know definitely that we would get them. On
Tuesday, again quite unexpectedly, we were instructed
by our Boston office that the bonds had been secured
and were to be offered immediately at 99 and interest.
So suddenly did the entire transaction take place that
we were unable to prepare a new circular, and on
Tuesday night we merely sent out a letter, telling our
customers that we had an additional block of these
bonds. In fact, the new circular will not be ready
until about noon of to-morrow.

We realize that you should have been informed of the
new price. The bonds, however, came on the market so
quickly and in taking care of the details of the
offering we were so busy that the matter,
unfortunately, was overlooked. We are glad, therefore,
to make adjustment of the price now by having our
banking department send you our check for $50.

It is unnecessary for us to say, we presume, that we
regret this occurrence and to assure you that had we
known of the new bonds on Saturday we would have
advised you to hold off your purchase until the
offering was ready. We feel that you know us and the
policy of our house well enough to be sure that we
would not willfully take advantage of you in this way.
We trust that the arrangement that we have made
satisfactorily straightens out the matter.

Yours very truly,

=Exercise 235=

1. What is the advantage of the policy shown in the following suggestion from _System_?