Chapter V: Usurers and Curryers., 392 (1)

Vultur’s _Invitation_., 211

W.

Wax _and Brick_., 304

Wasps _in a Honey-Pot_., 126

Wasps, _Partridges and Husbandman_., 137

_Old_ Weazle _and Mice_., 81

Wench _parting with her Sweet-heart_., 269

_A Creaking_ Wheel., 336

_The Inconsolable_ Widow., 268

_An Old Man gives over_ Whoring., 326

Widow _had a Mind to Marry_., 283

Wife _and Drunken Husband_., 157

Wolfe _and Lamb_., 3

Wolfe _and Crane_., 8

Wolfe _and Sow_., 22

Wolfe, _Kid and Goat_., 28

Wolfe _and Fox_., 42

Wolves _and Sheep League_., 45

Wolves _and Dogs agree_., 394

Wolfe, _Lamb and Goat_., 60

Wolfe _and Kid_., 207

Wolfe _and Porcupine_., 320

Wolfe _and Sheep-skin_., 328

Wolfe _and Lyon_., 130

Wolfe _and Kid_., 174

Wolfe _and Sheep_., 186

Wolfe _turn’d Shepherd_., 395

Wolfe _turns Religious_., 436

Wolfe _and Fox_., 467

Wolfe _and Hog_., 469

Wolfe _and a Weak Young Man_., 341

_A Trepanning_ Wolfe., 499

_A_ Woman _and her Maids_., 209

_An_ Old Woman _and the Devil_., 232

_A_ Woman _would Dye for her Husband_., 310

_A_ Woman _brought Fire into the House_., 348

_A_ Woman _and a Fat Hen_., 87

Woman _and Two Daughters_., 198

_A_ Woman _Drown’d_., 355

Woman _and Thrushes_., 428

Woman, _Cat and Mice_., 442

Woman _Reviv’d with Beating_., 452

THE LIFE OF ÆSOP.

CHAP. I.

_Of_ Æsop_’s Country, Condition, and Person_.

_Æsop_ (according to _Planudes_, _Camerarius_ and Others) was by birth, of _Ammorius_, a Town in the _Greater Phrygia_; (though some will have him to be a _Thracian_, others a _Samian_) of a mean Condition, and in his person deformed, to the highest degree: Flat-Nos’d, Hunch-Back’d, Blabber-Lipp’d; a Long Mishapen Head; His Body Crooked all over, Big-Belly’d, Baker-Legg’d, and his Complexion so swarthy, that he took his very Name from’t; for _Æsop_ is the same with _Æthiop_. And he was not only Unhappy in the most scandalous Figure of a Man, that ever was heard of; but he was in a manner Tongue-Ty’d too, by such an Impediment in his speech, that People could very hardly understand what he said. This Imperfection is said, to have been the most sensible part of his Misfortune; for the Excellency of his Mind might otherwise have Atton’d in some Measure, for the Uncouth Appearance of his Person (at least if That Part of History may pass for Current.) There goes a Tradition, that he had the good Hap to Relieve certain Priests that were Hungry, and out of their way, and to set them Right again; and that for that good Office, he was upon their Prayers, brought to the Use of his Tongue: But _Camerarius_, whom I shall Principally follow, has no Faith in the Miracle, And so He begins his History with the tracing of him to _Samos_, and from thence Prosecutes it through the most Remarkable Passages of his Life, to the Last Barbarous Violence upon him at _Delphos_. As to his Impediment in his speech, whether there were any such thing or Not, or how he came to be cur’d of it, the Reader is at Liberty what to Believe and what Not. And so likewise for Twenty Other Passages up and down this History; Some of them too Trivial, and others too Gross to be taken Notice of, Upon this Argument and Occasion: Let it suffice, that (according to the Common Tradition) he had been Already Twice Bought and Sold; and so we shall Date the Story of his Adventures; from his Entrance into the Service of at least a Third Master.

As to the Age he liv’d in, it is Agreed upon among the Antients, that it was when _Crœsus_ Govern’d _Lydia_; as also that _Xanthus_, a _Samian_, was his Master. _Herodotus_ will have it to be one _Jadmon_ a _Samian_ too; but still according to the Current of most Writers, _Xanthus_ was the Man.

CHAP. II.

Æsop _and his Fellow-slaves Upon their Journey to_ Ephesus.

It was _Æsop_’s Fortune to be sent to _Ephesus_, in Company with other Slaves to be sold. His Master had a great many Burdens to Carry, and _Æsop_ begg’d of his Companions not to over Charge him. They found him a Weakling, and bad him please himself. The Parcel that he Pitch’d upon was a Panier of Bread; and twice as heavy as any of the rest. They called him a thousand Fools for his pains, and so took up their Luggage, and away they Trudg’d together. About Noon, they had their Dinner deliver’d out of _Æsop_’s Basket, which made his Burden Lighter by one half in the Afternoon, then it had been in the Morning: And after the next Meal he had Nothing left him to Carry, but an Empty Basket. His Fellow-Slaves began Now to Understand, that _Æsop_ was not so Arrant a Fool as they took him for; and that they Themselves had not half the Wit they Thought they had.

CHAP. III.

Æsop _is accus’d by False Witnesses for Stealing his Master’s_ Figs; _and brings himself off by his Wits, to the Confusion of his Accusers_.

_Æsop_ was not of a _Make_ to do his Master much Credit in the Quality of a _Houshold Servant_: So that he rather sent him abroad into the _Fields_ a Digging, and to take care of his _Husbandry_. By the time he had been there a While, his Master went out after him to see how he went on with his Work; and found Every thing done much to his Satisfaction. In this _Interim_ comes a Countryman to him with a Present of most Delicious _Figs_; which he was so Wonderfully delighted with, that he gave them in Charge to his Boy _Agathopus_ to see them carefully laid up till he came back from the _Bath_, whither he was then a going. _Æsop_, it seems, was now gone home upon some Particular Business, and _Agathopus_ laid hold of This Occasion to tell One of his Companions, of a Design he had, both upon the _Figs_, and upon their _Fellow-Servant_. _What have we more to do_ says he, _than to Stuff our Guts with These_ Figs _our selves, and then lay the Roguery upon_ Æsop, _who is at This Instant in the House where they are_? And _then, when our Master comes to Examine the Matter, we are Two Witnesses to One against him, which will make it so clear a Case, that the Silly Cur will not have the Face to Deny the Fact_. The Plot, in short, was agreed upon; and to work they went, upon the _Figs_, making themselves Merry upon Every Bit they Swallow’d, to Consider how _Æsop_’s _Carcase_ was to pay for All.

The Master, upon his coming from the _Bath_, call’d immediately for his _Figs_, and hearing that _Æsop_ had been before-hand with him, he sent for him in a Rage, and Rattled him with a Thousand _Traytors_ and _Villains_, for Robbing his House, and Devouring the Fruit that he had set apart for his own Palate. This Miserable Wretch, heard, and understood All that was said; but by Reason of an Imperfection in his Speech, he was not able to speak one Word in his Own Defence. His Enemies in the mean time Insulting over him, and calling for _Justice_ upon so Insolent a Cheat. They were now advancing from Reproches to Blows, when _Æsop_ cast himself at his Master’s Feet, and begg’d his Patience only till he might go out, and come in again. He went his way immediately, and fetch’d a Vessel of Warm Water; took a Large Draught of it, in his Masters Presence, and with his Finger in his Throat brought it all clear up again without any Other Mixture. After This Experiment upon _Himself_, he gave his Master to Understand, that if he would be pleased to put his _Accusers_ to the same _Test_, he should quickly see what was become of his _Figs_. The Proposal seem’d so Reasonable, that he Order’d _Agathopus_ and his Fellow to do the Like. They made some Difficulty at first of following _Æsops_ Example; but in the end, upon taking a Soup of the same Liquor, their Stomachs Wambled, and up came the _Water_, _Figs and all_. Upon this Evidence of the Treachery and Falshood of _Agathopus_ and his _Companion_, the Master Order’d them to be Soundly Lash’d, and made good the Old Saying, _Harm Watch, Harm Catch_.

CHAP. IV.

_The Sale of_ Æsop _to_ Xanthus.

Upon the Merchants Arrival at _Ephesus_, he made a quick Riddance of All his Slaves but Three. That is to say, a _Musician_, an _Orator_, and _Æsop_. He dress’d up the Two Former in Habits answerable to their Profession, and Carry’d them to _Samos_, as the Likeliest Place for a Chapman. He shew’d them there in the open Market, with Æsop for a Fool betwixt them; which some People took much offence at. While they were attending upon the Place, there came among other _Samians_, one _Xanthus_, an Eminent Philosopher of that City, with a Train of his Disciples at his Heels. The Philosopher was mightily pleased with the Two Youths, and ask’d them one after another about their Profession, and what they could do. The one told him he could do _any thing_; the other that he could do _ev’ry thing_; this set Æsop a laughing at ’em. The Philosopher’s Pupils would needs know what it was that made Æsop so merry. Why, says he, if the Question had been put by your Master, I should have told him the reason of it.

_Xanthus_ in the mean time was beating the Price of the Two other Slaves, but the Terms were so high, that he was just upon turning about to go his way, Only the Pupils would needs have him put the same Questions first to the Ill favour’d Fellow, that he had done to the other Two; and so _Xanthus_, for the Humour sake, Interrogated Æsop what _He_ could do. _Nothing at all_, says he. How comes That says the Philosopher? My Companions, says the Other, Undertake every thing, and there’s Nothing left for me to do. This gave them to Understand, that the Man knew well enough what he said, and what he Laugh’d at. Well! says _Xanthus_, but if I should give Money for you Now, would you be Good and Honest? I’ll be That, says Æsop, whether you Buy me or No. Ay, but tell me again, says the Philosopher, Won’t you run away? Pray says Æsop, did you ever hear of a Bird in a Cage that told his Master he Intended to make his Escape? _Xanthus_ was well enough pleased with the Turn and Quickness of his Wit; but, says he, That Unlucky Shape of yours will set People a Hooting and Gaping at you wherever you go. A Philosopher says Æsop should value a man for his Mind, Not for his Body. This presence of Thought gave _Xanthus_ a High Opinion of the Wisdom of the Man; and so he bad the Merchant set him his Lowest Price of That Miserable Creature. Why says he, you had as good Cheapen a Dunghil; but if you’ll bid me like a Chapman for either of the Other Two, you shall have this Phantome into the Bargain. Very good says the Philosopher; and without any more ado what’s your selling Price? The Merchant speaks the Word, The Philosopher pays the Money, and takes Æsop away with him.

CHAP. V.

Xanthus _Presents_ Æsop _to his Wife_.

_Xanthus_ had no sooner made his Purchase, and carry’d his Jewel home with him, but, having a kind of a Nice Froward Piece to his Wife, the Great Difficulty was how to put her in Humour for the Entertainment of this Monster, without throwing the House out at the Window. My Dear, says he, You have been often complaining of Careless Servants; And I have brought you one Now that I am Confident will fit your Turn. He shall Go and Come, and Wait, and do Every thing as you would have him; Oh, your Servant Sweet heart says she, but what did he Cost you? Why truly very Reasonable; but at Present He’s a Little Tann’d, and out of case you must know, with his Journey, says the Husband, and so he Order’d him to be call’d in. The Cunning Gipsy smoak’d the Matter presently. Some Monster says she, I’ll be Hanged else. Wife, Wife, says _Xanthus_, If you are a good Woman, That that Pleases Me Must Please You too. While These Words were between his Lips, up comes Æsop toward them; she gave him a Fierce Look, and Immediately discharg’d her Choler upon her Husband. Is this a _Man_, or a _Beast_? says she, and what Clearer Proof in the World Could You have given me Now, of an Insufferable Hatred and Contempt? Æsop said not one Word all This While; ’till _Xanthus_ Rouz’d him with a Reproof. Oh Villain! says he; to have a Tongue and Wit at Will upon All other Occasions, and not one Diverting Syllable Now at a Pinch, to Pacify your Mistress! Æsop, after a short Pause upon’t, Bolted out an Old _Greek_ Saying, which is in _English_ to this Effect, _From Lying at the Mercy of Fire, Water, and a Wicked Woman, Good Lord Deliver us_. If the Wife was heartily angry before, This Scomm made her Stark Mad, and the Reproche was so Cutting too, that _Xanthus_ himself did not well know how to take it. But Æsop brought himself off again from the Malice of any ill Intention, by a Passage out of _Euripides_ to this Purpose. _The Raging of a Tempestuous Sea; The Fury of a Devouring Fire, and the Pinching Want of Necessaries for Life, are Three Dreadful Things_, and a Body might reckon up a Thousand more; _but all this is Nothing to the Terrible Violences of an Impetuous Woman_, and therefore, says he, Make yourself as Glorious on the other side, in the Rank of Good Women. _Vavasor_ the Jesuite, in his _De Ludicra Dictione_, takes Notice of a Blunder here in the Chronology of the Story. For Æsop was Murder’d at least Fourscore Years before _Euripides_ was Born. But to follow the Thred of the Relation; Upon this Oblique Admonition, the Woman came to herself again, and took Æsop into her good Graces, who render’d his Master and Mistress All the Offices of a Faithful Servant.

CHAP. VI.

Æsop’s _Answer to a Gard’ner_.

Some Two or Three Days after the Encounter above mentioned, _Xanthus_ took Æsop along with him to a Garden to buy some Herbs, and the _Gard’ner_ seeing him in a Habit of a Philosopher, told him the Admiration he was in, to find how much faster Those Plants shot up that Grow of their own accord, than Those that he set Himself, though he took never so much Care about them. Now you that are a Philosopher, Pray will you tell me the meaning of This? _Xanthus_ had no better answer at hand, then to tell him, That Providence would have it so: Whereupon Æsop brake out into a Loud Laughter. Why how now Ye slave You, says _Xanthus_, what do you Laugh at? Æsop took him aside and told him, Sir, I Laugh at your Master, that Taught You no better: for what signifies a Gen’ral Answer to a Particular Question? And ’tis no News Neither that Providence orders All Things: But if you’ll turn him over to me, You shall see I’ll give him another sort of Resolve. _Xanthus_ told the _Gard’ner_, that it was below a Philosopher to busy his head about such Trifles; but says he, If you have a Curiosity to be better Inform’d, you shall do well to ask my Slave here, and see what he’ll say to you. Upon this, the _Gard’ner_ put the Question to Æsop, Who gave him this Answer. The Earth is in the Nature of a _Mother_ to what She brings forth of her Self, out of her own Bowels; Whereas She is only a kind of a _Step-Dame_, in The Production of Plants that are Cultivated and Assisted by The Help and Industry of Another: so that it’s Natural for her to Withdraw her Nourishment from the One, towards The Relief of the Other. The _Gard’ner_, upon this, was so well satisfied, That he would take no Mony for his Herbs, and Desired Æsop to make Use of his Garden for the future, as if it were his own.

There are several Stories in _Planudes_, that I shall pass over in this Place (says _Camerarius_) as not worth the while: Particularly The Fables of the _Lentills_, the _Bath_, the _Sow’s Feet_, and several Little Tales and Jests that I take to be neither well Laid, nor well put together; Neither is it any matter, in Relations of this Nature, Whether they be True or False, but if they be Proper and Ingenious; and so contriv’d, that the Reader or the Hearer may be the better for them, That’s as much as is required: Wherefore I shall now Commit to Writing Two Fables or Stories, One about the bringing his Mistress home again, when she had left her Husband; Which is drawn from the Model of a Greek History set out by _Pausanias_ in his Description of _Bœtia_; The Other, upon the Subject of a Treat of _Neats Tongues_, which was taken from _Bias_, as we have it from _Plutarch_ in his _Convivium Septem Sapientum_.

CHAP. VII.

Æsop’s _Invention to bring his Mistress back again to her Husband, after she had Left him_.

The wife of _Xanthus_ was wellborn and wealthy, but so Proud and Domineering withal, as if her Fortune and her Extraction had Entituled her to the Breeches. She was Horribly Bold, Meddling, and _Expensive_; (as that sort of Women commonly are) Easily put off the Hooks, and Monstrous hard to be pleased again: Perpetually chattering at her Husband, and upon All occasions of controversy, Threatning him to be gone. It came to this at Last, that _Xanthus_’s stock of Patience being quite spent, he took up a Resolution of going another way to Work with her, and of trying a Course of Severity, since there was nothing to be done with her by Kindness. But this Experiment, instead of mending The Matter, made it worse; for upon harder Usage, The Woman grew Desperate, and went away from him in Earnest. She was as Bad ’tis true as Bad might well be, and yet _Xanthus_ had a kind of _Hankering_ for her still: Beside that there was matter of Interest in the Case: and a Pestilent Tongue she had, that the Poor Husband Dreaded above all things Under the Sun: but the man was willing however to make the Best of a Bad Game, and so his Wits and his Friends were set at Work, in the fairest Manner that Might be, to get her home again. But there was No good to be done in’t it seems; and _Xanthus_ was so visibly out of Humour upon’t, that Æsop in Pure Pity bethought himself Immediately how to Comfort him. Come Master (says he) Pluck up a good heart; for I have a Project in my Noddle that shall bring my Mistress to you back again, with as good a Will as ever she went from you. What does me Æsop, but away Immediately to the Market among the Butchers, Poulterers, Fishmongers, Confectioners, _&c._ for the Best of Every thing that was in Season. Nay he takes private People in his way too, and Chops into the very house of his Mistresses Relations, as by Mistake. This Way of Proceeding set the whole Town a Gog to know the Meaning of all this Bustle, and Æsop innocently told everybody That his Master’s Wife was run away from him, and he had Marry’d another: His Friends up and down were all Invited to come and make Merry with him, and This was to be the Wedding Feast. The News flew like Light’ning, and happy were they could carry the First Tydings of it to the _Run-away-Lady_: (for every body knew Æsop to be a Servant in That Family.) It Gathered in the Rolling, as all Other Stories do in the Telling: Especially where Womens Tongues and Passions have the spreading of them. The Wife, that was in her Nature Violent, and Unsteady, order’d her Chariot to be made ready Immediately, and away she Posts back to her Husband: falls upon him with Outrages of Looks and Language; and after the Easing of her mind a Little; No, _Xanthus_, says she, Do not you Flatter your self with the hopes of Enjoying another Woman while I am alive. _Xanthus_ look’d upon this as one of Æsop’s _Master-pieces_; and for that Bout All was well again betwixt Master and Mistress.

CHAP. VIII.

_An Entertainment of Neats Tongues._

Some few days after the Ratification of This Peace, _Xanthus_ Invited several Philosophers of his Acquaintance to Supper with him; and Charges Æsop to make the Best Provision he could think of, for their Entertainment. Æsop had a Wit waggish Enough, and This General Commission furnished him with Matter to work upon. So soon as ever the Guests were set down at the Table, _Xanthus_ calls for Supper, and Expected no less than a very Splendid Treat. The First Service was _Neats Tongues_ sliced, which the Philosophers took Occasion to Discourse and Quibble upon in a Grave Formal way, as _The Tongue_ (for the purpose) _is the Oracle of Wisdom_, and the like. _Xanthus_, upon This, calls for a Second Course, and after That for a Third, and so for a Fourth, which were All _Tongues_, over and over again still, only several ways Dressed: Some Boil’d, Others Fry’d, and some again serv’d up in Soupe, which put _Xanthus_ into a Furious Passion. Thou Villain, says he, Is this according to my Order, to have Nothing but _Tongues upon Tongues_? Sir says Æsop, without any hesitation, Since it is my Ill fortune to fall under this Accusation, I do Appeal to All These Learned Persons, whether I have done Well, or Ill, and pay’d that Respect to your Order which I ought to do.

Your order was, That I should make the Best Provision that I could think of for the Entertainment of These Excellent Persons, and if the _Tongue_ be the Key that Leads Us into All _Knowledge_, what could be more proper and suitable then _a Feast of Tongues for a Philosophical Banquet_?

When _Xanthus_ found the Sence of the Table to be on Æsop’s side; Well my Friends says he; Pray will You Eat with me to Morrow, and I’ll try if I can mend your Chear; and Mr. _Major Domo_, says he to Æsop, let it be the Care of your Gravity and Wisdom to provide us a Supper to Morrow, of the very worst Things You can Think of.

CHAP. IX.

_A Second Treat of Tongues._

_Xanthus_’s Guests met again The Next day according to The Appointment; and Æsop had provided them the very same Services of _Tongues and Tongues over and over_, as they had the night before. Sirrah (says _Xanthus_ to his Servant) what’s the Meaning of This; That _Tongues_ should be the _Best_ of Meats _One_ Day, and the _Worst_ the _Other_? Why Sir says he, There is not any Wickedness under the Sun, That the _Tongue_ has not a part in. As Murders, Treasons, Violence, Injustice, Frauds, and All Manner of Lewdness: for Counsels must be first Agitated, The Matter in Question Debated, Resolv’d upon, and Communicated by Words, before the Malice comes to be executed in Fact. _Tongue, Whither wilt Thou!_ (says the Old Proverb) I go to _Build_ (says the _Tongue_,) and I go to _pull down_.

This Petulant Liberty of Æsop, Gall’d his Master to the very Soul of him, and one of the Guests, to Help forward his Evil Humour; Cry’d out, _This Fellow is enough to make a Body Mad_. Sir (says Æsop) you have very Little Business to do of your own I perceive, by the Leisure you have to Intermeddle in Other Peoples Matters; You would find some other Employment else, then to Irritate a Master against his Servant.

CHAP. X.

Æsop _brings his Master a Guest That had no sort of Curiosity in him_.

_Xanthus_ laid hold of the Present Occasion, and was willing enough to be furnished with a Staff to beat a Dog. Well Sirrah, says he, since this Learned Gentleman is too _Curious_; go you your ways and find me out a Man that has no Curiosity at All, or I’ll Lace your Coat for ye. Æsop, the next day, Walked the whole Town over on This Errand; and at Last, found out a Slovenly Lazy Fellow, Lolling at his Ease, as if he had Nothing to do, or to take care for; and so up to him he went in a Familiar Way; and Invited him to his Master’s to Supper. The Clown made no Ceremony of promising, but fell Presently to asking what kind of Man his Master was? And what, says he, are we going just now? (for this Poor Devil look’d upon a Meal’s Meat _Gratis_, as a Blessing Dropt into his Mouth out of the Skies) Come (says Æsop) we are going this very Moment; and Wonderfully Glad he was to find by the Booby’s discourse, That he had met with a Man so fit for his Purpose. Away they went together, and so strait into the Parlour, where the Blockhead throws Himself down Dirty and Beastly as he was, upon a Rich Couch. After a very little While, in comes _Xanthus_ to Supper, and asks Æsop who That Man was? Why This is the Man, says Æsop, that you sent me for; that is to say, a Man that has no _Curiosity_ in him at All. Oh that’s very well, says _Xanthus_, and then told his Wife in her ear, That if she would be but a Loving and Obedient Wife to him, and do as he bad her, he would now save her Longing, for, says he, I have been a Great while Seeking for an Occasion to pick a Quarrel with Æsop, and I have found it at last. After this Whisper, _Xanthus_ takes a Turn in the Parlour, and calls aloud to his Wife. Heark ye Sweet Heart, says he, go fetch some Water, and Wash the Feet of my Guest here. Away she goes, brings a Bason to the side of the Couch, where the Clown was laid at his Length, and bad him put forth his Feet for her to Wash them. _Xanthus_ little thought she would have done it. But the Clown, after a little Stumble within himself, that ’twas fitter for the Maid to do’t, then the Mistress; Well says he, If it be the Custom of the Family, ’tis not for me to be against it: and so he stretch’d forth his _Feet_ to the _Washing_.

So soon as ever the Company had taken off the Edge of their Stomachs; _Xanthus_ calls for a Bumper, and puts it into the hands of the Clown, making No doubt but he would have allow’d his Host the Honor of being his Taster. The Fellow, without any Scruple, Whips up the Drink, and gives _Xanthus_ the Pot again Empty, who was now the Second Time Disappointed upon the matter of _Curiosity_, or _No Curiosity at All_. He had a Mind still to be upon Poor Æsop’s Bones, and made another Tryal of the Humour of his Guest. There was a particular Dish that the Clown fed very Heartily upon: _Xanthus_ fell into a Rage against the Cook for the Ill-Dressing of it, and Threat’ned to have him brought and Lash’d in the very Parlour. The _Bumpkin_ took no Notice of it at All, but without speaking one Word on the Cooks Behalf; It was Nothing to him he thought, what other People did with their Servants.

They were come Now to their Cakes and Pyes, and the Clown Guttled upon them without Mercy. _Xanthus_ Resolves then upon Another Tryal; Calls for his _Pastry-Cook_ and tells him, Sirrah, says he, you spoil every thing that goes through your hands. There’s neither Spice, nor any other Seasoning here. The Cook told him, That if they were either Over or Under-Bak’d, it was his Fault; But for the Spice and Seasoning, it was his Mistresses, for it was All put in that she Deliver’d. Nay Wife, says _Xanthus_, if it sticks there, By All that’s Sacred, I’ll Treat you no better then if you were a Slave bought with my Money. Wherefore Strip Immediately and Prepare for a Dog-Whip. _Xanthus_ thought with himself; that If any thing in the World could move this Barbarous Brute, he would have put in a Word at Least to save a Woman of Honour from so Scandalous an Indignity. But says this Loggerhead to himself; There’s an old saying; _What have We to do to Quench other Peoples Fires?_ And I’ll e’en keep my self Clear of Other Peoples Matters; Only he took _Xanthus_ by the Hand indeed, and told him if he would but Stay a Little, he’d go fetch his own Wife too, and so they might take the lash by Turns. In one word, _Xanthus_ missed his Aim at last; and though he was troubled at the Miscarriage, he could not but Laugh yet at the Simplicity of the Man, and Confess, that Æsop was in the Right, in bringing a Person to him that had no Curiosity at all.

CHAP. XI.

Æsop_’s Answer to a Magistrate_.

It happened some few days after the Last Passage above, that _Xanthus_, having some Business at the Publick Hall, sent Æsop to see if there were any Great Throng of Men there; a Magistrate meets him Upon the _Way_, and Asks him whither he was going? Why truly, says Æsop, I am going I know not whither. The Magistrate took it that he Banter’d him, and bad an Officer take him into Custody and Carry him to Prison. Well, says Æsop, to the Magistrate; Is it not true Now, that I did not know Whither I was going? Can you Imagine, that when I came out of the house this Morning, I had any thoughts of going to _Prison_? The Magistrate was well enough pleased at the fancy, and Discharg’d him Upon it, and so he went forward to the Hall; Where among a world of People, he saw one Man arrest another upon an Action of Debt. The Debtor Pleaded Poverty; but if he would Compound for half, it should go hard but he’d make a Shift to Pick it up, he said. Well with all my Heart, says the Creditor, Lay down the Mony upon the Nail, and the Business is done: for a man had better Content himself with Half, then Lose All, And I reckon that Mony as good as lost, that a Man must go to Law for; Æsop upon this, went back and told his Master, that he had been at the Hall, and saw but one Man there; This was a Riddle to _Xanthus_; Insomuch that he went himself to Learn the Truth of the Matter. When he came to the Place, he found the Court extremely Thronged, and turning short upon Æsop, in great Indignation, Sirrah, says he, are all these People come since you told me there was but one Man here? ’Tis very true, says Æsop, There was a Huge Crowd, and yet but _one Man_ that I could see in That vast _Multitude_. This seems to be taken out of the Life of _Diogenes_.

CHAP. XII.

Xanthus _undertakes to Drink the Sea dry_.

There happened not Long after This, to be a Merry Meeting of Philosophers; and _Xanthus_, one of the Company. _Xanthus_ had already gotten a Cup too much; and Æsop, finding they were like to set out his hand; Sir, says he, ’tis the Humour of _Bacchus_, they say, first to make men _Chearful_, and when they are past That, to make ’em _Drunk_, and in the Conclusion, to make them _Mad_. _Xanthus_ took Offence at Æsop; and told him, That was a Lecture for Children. (_Laertius_ makes this to be the saying of _Anacharsis_.) The Cups went round, and _Xanthus_ by this time had taken his Load, who was mightily given to talk in his Drink; and whatever was uppermost, out it came, without either Fear or Wit. One of the Company observing the weak side of the Man, took the Opportunity of Pumping him with several Questions. _Xanthus_ (says he) I have read somewhere, that it is Possible for a Man to Drink the Sea Dry; but I can hardly believe it. Why says _Xanthus_, I’ll venture my House and Land upon’t, that I do’t my self. They Agreed upon the Wager, and presently off went their Rings to Seal the Conditions. But Early the next Morning, _Xanthus_ missing his Ring, thought it might be slipt off his Finger, and asked Æsop about it. Why truly says Æsop, I can say Nothing to the Losing of your _Ring_; But I can tell you that _you Lost your House and Land last Night_: and so Æsop told him the Story on’t, which his Master it seems had utterly forgotten. _Xanthus_ began now to Chew upon the Matter, and it went to the Heart of him to consider, That he could neither do the thing, nor yet get quit of his Bonds. In this trouble of Thoughts he Consults Æsop, (whose advice before he had rejected) what was to be done in the Case. I shall never forget, says _Xanthus_, how much I owe you for your Faithful Services; and so with fair Words Æsop was prevailed upon to Undertake the bringing of him off. ’Tis Impossible to do the thing, (says he) but if I can find a way to Dissolve the Obligation, and to gain you Credit by it over and Above, That’s the Point I suppose that will do your business. The Time appointed, says Æsop, is now at hand, Wherefore do you set a bold face upon it, and go to the _Sea-side_ with all your Servants and your Trinkets about you, and put on a Countenance, that you are just Now about to make good your Undertaking. You’ll have Thousands of Spectators there, and When they are got together, let the Form of the Agreement and the Conditions be read, Which runs to this Effect. That you are to Drink up the Sea by such a Certain Time, or to forfeit your House and Land, upon Such or Such a Consideration. When This is done, call for a Great Glass, and let it be filled with _Sea-Water_, in the Sight of the Whole Multitude: Hold it up then in your Hand, and say as Follows. _You have heard Good People, what I have Undertaken to do, and upon what Penalty if I do not go Through with it. I confess the Agreement, and the Matter of Fact as you have heard it; and I am now about to drink up the Sea; not the Rivers that run into’t. And therefore let All the Inlets be Stopt, that there be Nothing but pure Sea left me to drink. And I am now ready to perform my part of the Agreement. But for any drinking of the Rivers, There is nothing of that in the Contract._ The People found it so clear a Case, That they did not only agree to the Reason and Justice of _Xanthus’s_ Cause, but hissed his Adversary out of the Field; Who in the Conclusion made a Publique Acknowledgment, that _Xanthus_ was the Wiser and Better Man of the Two; But desired the Contract might be made void, and offer’d to Submit Himself further to such Arbitrators as _Xanthus_ Himself should direct. _Xanthus_ was so well pleased with the Character his Adversary had given him, of a Wise Man, That All was Passed over, And a finall End made of the Dispute. _Plutarch_ makes this to have been the Invention of _Bias_.

CHAP. XIII.

Æsop _Baffles the Superstition of Augury_.

In the days of Æsop, The World was mightily addicted to _Augury_; that is to say, to the Gathering of _Omens_ from The Cry and Flight of _Birds_. Upon this Account it was, that _Xanthus_ one Day sent Æsop into the Yard, and bad him look well about him. If you see _Two Crows_ (says he) you’ll have _good Luck_ after it, but if you should Chance to spy _One Crow Single_, ’tis a _Bad Omen_, and some Ill will betide you. Æsop stept out and came Immediately back again, and told his Master that he had seen _Two Crows_. Hereupon _Xanthus_ went out himself, and finding but _One_ (for the Other was flown away) he fell Outragiously upon Æsop for making Sport with him, And order’d him to be soundly Lash’d for’t, but just as they were stripping him for the Execution, In comes One to Invite _Xanthus_ abroad to Supper. Well Master, says Æsop, and where’s the Credit of your _Augury_ Now? When I, that saw _Two Crows_, am to be _beaten like_ a Dog, and You, that saw but _One_, are going to _make merry_ with your Friends? The Reason and Quickness of this Reflexion, Pacified the Master for the Present, and sav’d the Poor Fellow a sound Whipping.

CHAP. XIV.

Æsop _finds hidden Treasure_.

As _Xanthus_ was Walking once among certain Monuments, with Æsop at his Heels; and Plodding upon several _Epitaphs_, there was one Inscription in _Greek Letters_, that _Xanthus_ with all the Skill he had, could not tell what to make of. Well, says Æsop, let me see a Little if I can Uncypher it. And so after laying Things and Things together a While, Master, says he, What will you give me, If I find you out a Pot of Hidden Treasure now? One _Half_ of it, says _Xanthus_, and your _Liberty_. So Æsop fell to Digging, a Matter of four Yards from the Stone that had the Inscription; and there found a Pot of Gold which he took up and deliver’d to his Master; and Claim’d his Promise. Well, says _Xanthus_, I’ll be as good as my Word; but you must first shew me how you came to know there was Treasure, by the Inscription: for I had rather be Master of that Secret, than of the very Gold it self. Æsop Innocently open’d the whole Matter to him. Look you Sir, says he, Here are these Letters, α; β; δ; ο; ε; θ; χ; which are to be thus Interpreted, α stands for ἀποβὰς; β for βήματα; δ for δέσσαρα; ο for ὀρύξας; ε for εὑρήσεις; θ for θησαυρὸν; χ for χρυσίου; In English, _Dig four Paces from this Place, and you shall find Gold_. Now says _Xanthus_, if you are so good at finding out Gold, you and I must not part yet. Come Sir, says Æsop, (perceiving that his Master played fast and Loose with him) To deal freely with you, This Treasure belongs to King _Dionysius_. How do you know that? says _Xanthus_. Why by the very Inscription, says Æsop: for in That Sence α stands for ἀπόδος; β for βασιλεῖ; δ for Διονυσίῳ; o for ὅν; ε for εὗρες; θ for θησαυρὸν; χ for χρυσίου. In English, _Give_ Dionysius _the Gold you have found_. _Xanthus_ began to be afraid when he heard it was The King’s Mony, and Charged Æsop to make no Words on’t, and he should have the One Half. ’Tis well, says Æsop; but This is not so much your own Bounty yet, as The Intention of Him that Bury’d it; for the very same Letters direct the Dividing of it. As for Example once again Now, α stands for ἀνελόμενοι; β for βαδίσαντες; δ for διέλεσθε; o for ὅν; ε for εὕρετε; θ for θησαυρὸν; χ for χρυσίου; In English, _Divide the Gold that you have found_. Why then, says _Xanthus_, let us go home and share it. No sooner were they got Home, but Æsop was presently laid by the Heels, for fear of Blabbing, crying out as Loud as he could, this comes of trusting to the Faith of a Philosopher; The Reproche Nettled his Master: But however he caused his Shackles to be taken off upon’t, and Admonished Æsop to keep his Licentious Tongue in a Little better Order for the future, if ever he hoped to have his _Liberty_. For That, says Æsop, Prophetically, I shall not Need to beg it of you as a favour, for in a very few days I shall have my Freedom, whether you will or no.

CHAP. XV.

Æsop _Expounds upon an Augury, and is made Free_.

_Æsop_ had thus far born All the Indignities of a Tedious Slavery, with the Constancy of a Wise Man, and without either Vanity or Abjection of Mind. He was not Ignorant however of his own Value; Neither did he Neglect any honest Way or Occasion of Advancing his Name and his Credit in the World; as in One Particular Instance among the _Samians_, on a Strange Thing that happen’d There upon a Very Solemn Day. The Ring, it seems, that had the Town-Seal upon’t was laid somewhere in Sight, Where an Eagle could come at it; She took it up in the Air, and dropt it into the Bosom of a Slave. The _Samians_ took this for a Foreboding, that Threat’ned some dismal Calamity to the State, and in a general Consternation They presently called a Counsel of their Wise Men; and _Xanthus_ in the first Place, to give their Opinions upon This Mysterious Accident. They were All at a Loss what to Think on’t; only _Xanthus_ desired some few Days time for further Consideration. Upon This, he betook himself to his Study, and the More he Beat his Brains about it, the further he found himself from any hope of Expounding The Secret. This put him into a deep Melancholly; which made Æsop very Importune, and Impatient, to know the Cause of it; with Assurances, That he would serve his Master in The Affair, Whatever it was, to the Uttermost of his Power. _Xanthus_ hereupon laid the Whole Matter before him, and told him in Conclusion, that he was not only lost in his Reputation, but in Danger to be Torn to Pieces by the Rabble. When Æsop found how the Case stood, Never trouble your Head any further, says he, Do but follow my Advice, and I’ll bring you off as well now as ever I did before. When you Appear to Morrow to give in your Answer, I would have you Speak to the People after this Manner.

_I need not tell your Wisdoms, That_ so Many Heads so Many Minds, _and so many several Men, so many several Conceptions of Things; Nay and further, that every several Art, or Profession requires a Distinct Faculty or Disposition, that is more or less Peculiar to it self. It is the Custom of the World for People in All Cases where They are either Ignorant or Doubtful, to Repair to Men that have the Reputation of Philosophers, for Counsel and Satisfaction. But this, under favour, is a Great Mistake; for it is with Philosophers, as it is, I say, with other Arts and Professions that have their Functions apart the One from the Other. Wisdom ’tis true, may be call’d properly enough the Knowledge of Things Divine and Humane, but will you therefore expect that a Philosopher should do the Office of a Shoomaker or a Barber, because the Trades are conversant about Humane Things? No No Gentlemen, a Man may be a Great Philosopher without any Skill at All in the Handling of the Awl, or the Razor. But if the Question were concerning the Government of Life and Manners, the Nature of Things Celestial or Terrestrial; The Duties that we owe to God or Man; you could not do better then repair to Philosophers for satisfaction. But for Reading upon Prodigies; or Commenting upon the Flight of Birds, or the Entrails of Beasts, These are Things quite Beside the Philosophers Business. If there be any thing you doubt of that falls under the Cognizance of Philosophy, I am ready to serve you in’t; But your present Point being_ Augury, _I shall take leave to Acquaint you that a Servant I have at home, is as likely to make a Right Judgement that way as any Man I know. I should not presume to name a Servant; Neither Perchance would you think fit to make use of one; If the Necessity of your present distress, were not a very Competent and Reasonable Excuse._

Here’s your Speech, says Æsop; and your Credit sav’d whether They’ll hear me or Not. If they send for me, The Honour will be yours, in case I Deliver my self to their Liking, and the Disgrace will be Mine then if I Miscarry. His Master was pleased beyond Measure with the Advice, but he did not as yet Understand Whither it Tended.

_Xanthus_ Presented himself Early the next Morning before the Council, Where he Dilated Upon The Matter according to his Instructions, and so referr’d Them to his Servant for the Clearing of the Difficulty. The People with one Voice cry’d out _Where is he? Why does not he Appear? Why has not his Master brought him along with him?_ In short, Æsop was Immediately fetch’d into the Court, and at the very First Sight of him, They All burst out a Laughing by Consent. This Fellow, says one, may have Skill perhaps in Divining, but he has Nothing that’s Humane about him. Another asked Where he was Born, and whether or no Blocks had the Faculty of Speech in his Country. Æsop, upon This, Address’d himself to the Council.

_You have here before ye_, (says Æsop) _an Ungracious Figure of a Man, which in truth is not a Subject for your Contempt, Nor is it a Reasonable Ground for your Despair, upon the Matter in Question. One Wise Man values Another for his Understanding, not for his Beauty; Beside that the Deformity of my Person is no incapacity at All as to your Business. Did you never taste Delicious drink out of an Ill Look’d Vessel? or did you never drink Wine that was Vapid, or Eager, out of a Vessel of Gold? ’Tis Sagacity and Strength of Reason that you have Occasion for, not the force of Robust Limbs, nor the Delicacies of Colour and Proportion. Wherefore I must beseech you not to Judge of My Mind by My Body, nor to Condemn me Unheard._ Upon this, they All cry’d out to him, If he had any thing to say for the Common Good, That he would speak it. _With your favour_, says he, _It is for that End I presume, that ye have called me hither, and it is with a Great Zeal for your Service, that I stand now before ye: But when I consider the Weight of the Matter in hand, and the Office That I am now to Perform, it will as little stand with your Honors Perhaps, to take the Opinion of a Slave into your Councils and Debates, as it will with my Condition to offer it. Beside the Risque I run of my Master’s Displeasure upon the Event. But All This yet may be Obviated, my Fears secured, my Modesty gratifi’d, and your own Dignity preserved, only by making me a Freeman before hand, to Qualify me for the Function._ They all said it was a Most Reasonable Thing, and presently treated about the Price of his Liberty, and order’d the _Quæstors_ to pay down the Money. When _Xanthus_ saw that the thing must be done, He could not Decently stand Higgling about the Price; But making a Virtue of Necessity, he chose rather to _Present_ Æsop to the Common-Wealth, then to _Sell_ him. The _Samians_ took it very kindly, And Æsop was Presently _Manumiz’d_ and made a Citizen in Form, Proclaim’d a Freeman; and after this Ceremony, he Discoursed upon the Subject of the Portent as follows.

_I shall not need to tell so many Wise and knowing Men, that the Eagle is a Royal Bird, and signifies a Great King; that the Dropping of the Ring in the Bosome of a Slave that has no Power over himself, portends the Loss of Your Liberties, if you do not look to your selves in Time; And that some Potent Prince has a Design upon ye._ This put the _Samians_ all a-fire to hear the Issue of the Prediction. In some short time after there came Ambassadors from _Crœsus_ the King of _Lydia_, to Demand a Tribute on Behalf of their Master, and Threat’ned the _Samians_ with a War in the Case of a Refusal. This Affair came to be Debated in the Council, where the Majority was rather for Peace with Slavery, then for running the Risque of a Dispute; but they would not come to a Resolution yet, without first Consulting Æsop What They had best to do; Who gave Them his Thought upon’t in Words to This Effect.

_Every Man in this World has Two Ways before him, That is to say_, First, _The Way of Liberty, that’s Narrow and Rugged at the Entrance, but Plainer and Smoother still the further you go_. Secondly, _The Way of Servitude or Slavery, that seems to be Easie at first, but you’ll find it afterwards to be full of Intolerable Difficulties_. The _Samians_, upon These Words, Declared themselves Unanimously for Liberty, and that since they were at present Free, They would never make Themselves Slaves by their own Consent: So The Ambassadors Departed, and there was a War Denounced.

When _Crœsus_ came to Understand the Resolution the _Samians_ had taken, and how Inclinable they were to a Compliance, till Æsop, by the Power only of a few words, Diverted them from it, he Resolv’d to send for and Discourse with Æsop. So He made an offer to the _Samians_, upon their sending Æsop to him, to put a Stop at present to the course of his Arms. When Æsop came to hear of their Proposition, he told them That he was not against their sending of him, Provided only that he might tell them One Story before he Left them.

_In Old Time_, (says he) _when some Beasts talked better Sence then Many Men do now a days, there happen’d to be a Fierce War betwixt the Wolves and the Sheep, And the Sheep, by the help of the Dogs, had rather the Better on’t. The Wolves, upon This, offer’d the Sheep a Peace, on Condition only that they might have their Dogs for Hostages. The Silly, credulous Sheep agreed to’t, and as soon as ever they had parted with the Dogs, The Wolves break in upon them, and Destroy’d them at pleasure._ See _Fab. 45_.

The _Samians_ quickly smelt out the Moral of this Fable, and cry’d out, One and All, that they would not part with Æsop: But this did not hinder Æsop however from putting himself abord, and taking a Passage for _Lydia_ with the Ambassadors.

CHAP. XVI.

Æsop _Presents himself before the King of_ Lydia.

Immediately Upon Æsop’s Arrival in _Lydia_, he Presented himself before the King, who looking upon him with Contempt, Hatred, and Indignation; Is This a Man says he, to hinder the King of _Lydia_ from being Master of _Samos_? Æsop then with a Reverence after the _Lydian_ Fashion, deliver’d what he had to say.

_I am not here_ (says he,) _Great King in the Quality of a Man that’s Given up by his Country, or under the Compulsion of any force; But it is of my own Accord that I am now come to lay my self at your Majesty’s Feet, and with this only Request, that you will vouchsafe me the Honour of your Royal Ear, and Patience but for a few words._

‘There was a Boy hunting of Locusts, and he had the Fortune to take a Grasshopper. She found he was about to kill her, and Pleaded after this Manner for her Life. Alas (says she) I never did any Body an Injury, and never had it either in my Will or in My Power to do’t. All my Business is my Song; and what will you be the Better for my Death? The Youth’s Heart relented and he set the Simple Grasshopper at Liberty.’

Your Majesty has now that Innocent Creature before you: There’s Nothing that I can pretend to _but my Voice, which I have ever employ’d so far as in me Lay, to the Service of Mankind_. The King was so Tenderly moved with the Modesty and Prudence of the Man, That he did not only give him his Life, but bad him ask any thing further that he had a Mind to, and it should be Granted him. Why then, says Æsop, (with that Veneration, Gratitude and Respect that the Case required) I do most humbly implore your Majesties favour for my Country-Men the _Samians_. The King Granted him his Request, and Confirmed it under his Seal; Beside that the Piety of making that Petition his Choice, was a further Recommendation of him to his Royal Kindness and Esteem.