Chapter XV: Appendix: Style-Book (4)

8. Fortunate, indeed, are the golfers of Elgin and vicinity, in
having for their very own such a lovely and delightful spot as
the Wing Park Golf course, where soft, sweet winds are blended
with the greens below and the blue above--where the sturdy oak
reaches out cool, shadowy arms to caress the tired golfer--where
the last rays of the setting sun love to linger on the golf
balls--where in fact all nature appears to unite into one grand
combination to give the golfer a good time.

9. Mr. and Mrs. S. F. Shattuck are entertaining a number of
their lady and gentlemen friends at a boat ride in their launch
"Dion" this afternoon.

10. Miss Muriel Kay, pianist, manipulated not only the keys of
the instrument, but also the heart-strings of the audience.

11. The Merry Matrons' club was hostess at the home of Mr. and
Mrs. J. E. Tiger to a number of friends, as well as the husbands
of the members of the club.

12. She is a dainty slip of a girl, with pretty, graceful
presence. She resembles a canary bird just poised for flight as
she faces her audience, golden haired and singing without the
least effort, her high tones clear and true, trilling the bird
notes and enthralling the guests. She is the best soprano ever
heard in the Birchwood Club.

13. In the fullness of time (according to the laws of human
nature, which draws into a juxtaposition all who would really
enjoy the beauty of life) has been revealed a long looked for
and also a long hoped for event. By an act of providence there
has been provided two existences, two lives, two individualities
in two different families in the immediate surroundings of this
community. These two existences, which had heretofore traveled
the pathway of life, each moving on in an independent course,
passing through the various experiences of life and never once
dreaming of what the end would really be, had emerged upon the
common but ever blessed pathway of life to blend together into a
single union the thought and intents of each other's hearts,
wills, and affections, and thence plunge into the great land of
utility. We are only too willing to admit that the contracting
parties took to heart the words, "It is not good that the man
should be alone," because last Thursday evening at 8 o'clock Mr.
Oliver Keefer and Miss Myrtle Bowker amalgamated their earthly
career into one harmonious entity when they stood before the
marriage altar and agreed to the words which bound the twain as
one.

14. Mrs. Maxwell of Sycamore visited her daughter, Mrs. H. W.
Smith, last week. Mrs. Smith ran a nail in her foot, Mr. Smith
cut his eyeball with a piece of steel, and their son, Horace,
broke his arm.

15. Bishop Cadman, of the diocese of Maine, surprised the
congregation at St. Matthias's Episcopal church last Sunday. The
Bishop preached a fine sermon.

_CHAPTER XIII_

_A._ Distinguish the meanings of the words in the following groups:

1. Abscond, avoid, decamp, elude, escape, evade.

2. Accident, calamity, casualty, disaster, mishap, misfortune.

3. Acquire, gain, get, obtain, procure, secure.

4. Affect, effect, influence.

5. Aggravate, annoy, tease, worry.

6. Antagonize, fight, hinder, oppose, resist, restrain, thwart.

7. Apparent, clear, evident, obvious, plain.

8. Apt, liable, likely.

9. Assassinate, dispatch, execute, kill, mob, murder, slay.

10. Assert, claim, declare, maintain, state.

11. Bearing, behavior, conduct, demeanor, deportment.

12. Blaze, conflagration, fire, flame, holocaust.

13. Board, register, stay, stop.

14. Burglar, footpad, highwayman, marauder, plunderer, robber,
thief.

15. Calculate, expect, presume, reckon, suppose, think.

16. Celebrated, eminent, distinguished, famous, noted,
notorious, renowned.

17. Compel, constrain, force, urge.

18. Crime, delinquency, felony, guilt, misdemeanor, offense,
sin, trespass, vice.

19. Cyclone, gale, hurricane, rain, storm, tempest, tornado.

20. Dangerous, deadly, deathly, murderous.

21. Distracted, excited, feverish, frantic, hysterical, raging,
wild.

22. Dwelling, home, house, residence.

23. Educated, informed, learned, posted.

24. Healthful, healthy, nutritious, sanitary, wholesome.

25. Party, people, person, race, tribe.

_B._ Give equivalents for the following phrases:

acid test
along the line of
any way, shape, or form
appeared on the scene
beggars description
bids fair to become
blushing bride
brute force
burning issue
checkered career
cool as a cucumber
contracting parties
crisp dollar bill
crying need
dark horse
dastardly deed
delicious refreshments
departed this life
devouring element
doing as well as can be expected
dull thud
elegantly gowned
entertained lavishly
fatal noose
few well-chosen words
first number on the program
floral offering
foregone conclusion
fought like a tiger
gala attire
goes without saying
hard-earned coin
head over heels
hotly contested
hurled into eternity
incontrovertible fact
large and enthusiastic audience
last sad rites
last but not least
led to the hymeneal altar
madly in love
marriage was consummated
mooted question
much interest was manifested
one of the most unique
popular citizen
present incumbent
presided at the punch bowl
psychological moment
put in his appearance
received an ovation
red-letter day
sea of upturned faces
select few
signified his intention
small but appreciative crowd
steeled his nerve
stern reality
talented authoress
the present day and generation
this broad land of ours
this world's goods
took things into his own hands
tripped the light fantastic
typical Westerner
under existing conditions

_C._ Correct the following:

1. By his skill as a surgeon he carved out for himself a place
and name such as only real human service can claim or is ever
likely to attain.

2. Borne on the shoulders of six fat policemen, the body of
Patrolman Ferdinand Traudt, drowned in lower Nemahbin lake, was
carried to Cavalry cemetery on Saturday, escorted by a platoon
of twenty-six policemen in charge of Sergeant Edward Solverson.

3. Jim Allen and Silas Watson were connected with the town water
main Saturday.

4. A man adapted to the use of the cigarette is immediately
noticed by his nervous actions and his shallow complexion.

5. Elizabeth Dickerson and Maud Moore have gone east for the
heated epoch, and are missing some elegant weather hereabouts.

6. Another Chicagoan fell victim of petromortis yesterday when
A. W. Simpson, a mechanician in a fashionable garage at 556
Sheridan Road, fell unconscious in a limousine.

7. Edward McDonald broke through the screen door. His sleeves
were rolled up and he singed both arms.

8. A merchants' protective association, comprising the several
towns of this and adjoining counties, it seems, could be
profitably organized with an object in view of detecting and
locating the numerous thieves now permeating the country.

9. Gideon did not select those who laid aside their arms and
threw themselves down to drink; he took those who watched with
one eye and drank with the other.

10. His voice is a pure baritone and the vocal organs of Mr.
Black must be of exquisite formation as he has resources in
singing which command the study of the expert who has to hear
all exponents and reject most of them. For softness and power,
whisper and swell of tone, Mr. Black possesses resources of
exceptional value.

11. With her gift of song she beautifies church, home, charity,
and society.

12. She was taking her folks out riding near Logansport and on
going down the Davis Hill she accidentally put her foot on the
exhilarater instead of the brake.

13. A novel feature was a shaving contest among the employees of
the company. Those entered came to the picnic enshrouded with a
hirsute appendage of three days' growth, and supplied with a
razor and shaving cup. At a given time the unshaved began to
remove the capillary adornment and after the appliance of
styptics the winner was recognized by his friends.

14. After an hour spent in its inspection, they were taken back
to the Insane Asylum and were made to feel perfectly at home.

15. Like his predecessors at the convention, he proved a strong,
virulent, and entertaining speaker.

16. Mr. and Mrs. Christensen, with vocal solos, and Nora and
Mabel Peterson, with instrumental selections, entertained the
high school and seventh and eighth grades very pleasantly last
Friday afternoon. The music was followed by an indignation
meeting.

17. The fried chicken, new potatoes, sweet peas, strawberries,
cottage cheese, and other vegetables, and practically everything
served at the dinner was raised on the place.

18. Unable to give bonds in the sum of $100 each, Mesdames
McCarroll and Caslin, of Ponchautoula, charged with forgery,
were incarcerated in the parish prison here yesterday to await
the action of the grand jury, which convenes soon.

19. Three men, Ed Oliver and Fred and Bertrand Logan, met with
quite a mishap recently when the boat in which they were sailing
at Lower Bend capsized and they were drowned.

20. J. C. Clausen still survives his terrible shot given wound
and it is believed will ultimately recover, although he was more
mortally wounded than reported by this paper last week.

21. The bullet was apparently fired during the celebration but
the author of the act was not discovered.

22. J. W. Hiner of the Chicago bar delivered an address last
week at Berlin, Germany, before the "Englische Sprachvereinigung
im Deutschnationalen Handlungsgehilfen Verband," a German
society.

23. An unknown man standing on the corner of Elm and Superior
streets was hit by a rocket which went between his legs and
becoming entangled in his overcoat exploded up his back. He
immediately departed for parts unknown.

24. Mr. and Mrs. Wilbur Liddicoat of this village are the proud
and happy parents of a pair of twins, born July 17.

25. Especially does the man of discriminating taste appreciate
them when he compares them to the mass of cheap collars that the
American manufacturers have fostered on the country.

26. A cow was caught in the sudden rush of water and drowned.
Other animals of a herd had to fly for the hills.

27. All then repaired to the dining-room, where the eye was not
only pleased with the artistic decorations of blue and white,
and pink and white carnations, but the inner man was satisfied
with meats, viands, delicatessens, etc.

28. Harry L. Gill was born in Toronto, Canada, and is still a
native of that country.

29. Mrs. Heap wore a stunning gown of emerald green satin with
the bodice combined with lace. Mrs. Tom Clayton wore a stunning
gown of pink satin with a beaded tunic of purple chiffon. Other
stunning costumes were worn by Mrs. Alexander Britton, who was
in purple velvet with lace and brilliants; Miss Catherine
Britton, scarlet chiffon. Miss Mary Green wore a lovely gown of
blue charmeuse and chiffon with bands of skunk.

30. I was surprised to learn on making a round of the motorcycle
factories that the motorcycle engineers have produced machines
to meet the needs of men and women, too, for that matter, in
every walk of life.

31. He has the face of a cherubim.

32. He was a tall man, looking even taller by reason of the
long, formless overcoat he wore, known as a "duster," and by a
long straight beard that depended from his chin, which he combed
with two reflective fingers as he contemplated the editor.

33. How can we expect woman, a member of the weaker race, to
work ten hours a day and still retain her health?

34. Thomas O. Allen, present Minneapolis lumberman and captain
of the Yale eleven in 1905, who has been summoned to New Haven
as a football Moses to lead the Elis into some new bull rushes,
passed through Chicago yesterday on his way east.

35. These exercises are said to be less striving and to have
more pleasure for all contestants.

36. The attaches of the United States Weather bureau here say
that while the precipitation has been unusually heavy, the
present storm and that predicted to follow it are but the usual
rainy season rainfalls, for which there is no freak or
extraordinary explanation.

_CHAPTER XIV_

_A._ Number 1 below is a copy of a speech delivered by George Ade last night at a dinner in honor of Mr. Brand Whitlock, United States minister to Belgium. Number 2 is a New York dispatch about the dinner. Write up the story for an Indianapolis morning paper on which you are working. George Ade's home is in Indiana.

1. If you will go over the list of young men who wrote for
Chicago newspapers twenty-five years ago you will be convinced
that the newspaper business is the greatest business in the
world for getting out of.

Let us go away back to 1890. Also let us go back to Chicago. I
hope I am not asking too much. About twenty-five years ago in
the Middle West there was a restless movement toward the
newspaper office. Nearly every young man who could no longer
board at home decided to enter journalism. Chicago called him.
Chicago is the home of opportunity--and other things.

The young man who wishes to be a book agent must have a
prospectus. Any solicitor must own a set of application blanks.
The burglar needs a jimmy. But the journalist requires only a
collection of adjectives. So I repeat that about 1890 all the
by-roads led to Chicago and all the young men who abhorred farm
work were arranging to be editors.

The period to which I refer was to Chicago what the Elizabethan
period was to English letters. Joseph Medill and Wilbur F.
Storey were just rounding their interesting careers. George
Harvey was flashing across our local horizon on his way to New
York. M. E. Stone was hacking out of one newspaper office in
order to assume general supervision of all the newspapers in the
world. Vance Thompson wrote for an evening paper. Opie Read was
up and down the street, working as little as possible. William
Elroy Curtis had just served a term as society editor of the
_Inter Ocean_. Paul Potter was tied to an editorial desk, but
already he had heard the call of the stage and was getting ready
to write _Trilby_. Will Payne, Kennett Harris, Ray Stannard
Baker, Forrest Crissy, Emerson Hough, and other contributors to
the five- and ten-cent beacons of the present day were humbly
contributing to the daily press. Ben King was writing his quiet
verse and peddling it around. Eugene Field had come on from
Kansas City and was trying to weave _Culture's Garland_, in
spite of the fact that the high wind constantly disarranged his
material. Julian Street was still operating as an amateur, while
Henry Hutt and the Leyendecker boy and Pennrhyn Stanlaws and
other illustrators who have brought the show girl into the home
life of America were students at the Art Institute, over on the
lake front. Do you recognize some of the names? Most of them are
now typical New Yorkers--born west of Kalamazoo.

It was in 1890 that John T. McCutcheon came up from Indiana and
broke into the old _News_ office. Perhaps you know that later on
he became the Thomas Nast of the corn belt--one of the few
cartoonists with a really definite influence and a loyal
following. Tom Powers was just beginning to draw his comics.

Shortly before Melville Stone escaped from bondage he received a
call at his office from a talented young woman who acted on the
stage. I am not repeating any ancient scandal. I am simply
telling you the facts. The young actress showed the great editor
some verses which had been dedicated to her by a lad living on
the West Side. Mr. Stone sent for the young man and put him to
work, and the next morning he knew the young man had written
_Robin Hood_, and since then he has written most of the plays
with music presented anywhere in America. You must have seen the
name of Harry B. Smith on the billboards.

A young person with very red hair did general hustling on the
_Inter Ocean_ for a short time and then disappeared. Years later
he bobbed up in congress as a member from Kansas and began to
shout defiance at Uncle Joe Cannon. The young person's name was
Victor Murdock.

It was during this same golden age that an overgrown and
diffident young man came from an obscure town in Illinois and
was given a tryout on the _Tribune_. He was steady and
industrious and ever willing, and they set him to do hotel
reporting. He was a failure as a hotel reporter, because the
young men employed by the _Herald_ and _Times_ secured
interviews every day with interesting visitors whom he was never
able to find. He could not find them because those interesting
persons did not exist. They were created by the enterprising
young men of the _Times_ and _Herald_ who were working in
combination against the _Tribune_.

Each morning the _Herald_ and _Times_ would have a throbbing
story told by some traveler who had shot big game in India, or
penetrated the frozen north, or visited the interior of Tibet,
or observed the habits of the kangaroo in Australia.

The visitor who told the wondrous tales of adventure invariably
left in the afternoon for New York, but his name was on the
hotel register as a corroborative detail intended to give
verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative.
Perhaps I should explain that the hotel clerk was a party to the
conspiracy.

Every day the _Tribune_ young man was rebuked because he had
been scooped by the _Times_ and the _Herald_. He ran from hotel
to hotel, frantically eager to do his duty, but he never could
find the African explorer and the titled European and the North
Sea adventurer who told their breathless tales day after day in
the columns of the rival papers. So the _Tribune_ young man was
taken off hotels and put on finance. After that he was not
scooped. He came to know Lyman J. Gage and moved on to New York
via Washington. To-day the poor young man who failed as a hotel
reporter because he lacked the gift of imaginative fiction is
president of the National City Bank of New York. Perhaps you
have heard of him. His name is Frank Vanderlip.

Now let us inquire as to the designing scribblers who caused him
to lose his job. The _Times_ man is here in New York as first
aid to the tired business man. The next time you visit "Chin
Chin" or the Hippodrome you will notice the name of Charles B.
Dillingham on the program. As for the _Herald_ young man, you
must know something about him if you have read _Mr. Dooley_.

It was about 1890 that the sprightly organization known as the
Whitechapel Club came into existence in Chicago. Moses P. Handy
was an adopted son of the same period. He had come on from
Philadelphia and was trying to introduce the custom of wearing
evening clothes in the evening. Chicago had started to build the
Columbian Exposition and was trying hard to prove that a
provincial city could be cosmopolitan while company was present.
Thus many influences worked together to make Chicago a rather
interesting preparatory school in 1890.

If you will go over the list of young men who wrote for Chicago
newspapers twenty-five years ago you will be convinced that the
newspaper business is the greatest business in the world for
getting out of. Let us here resolve to treat the reporter
kindly, because in a few years we may be working for him.

Of all that untried host standing in line to receive
assignments, I don't suppose any one man was a greater
disappointment to prophets than Brand Whitlock. When he came up
from a freshwater college in Ohio and quietly attached himself
to the _Herald_ staff he attracted attention almost immediately
as a humorist. He specialized on "Josh stuff." He wrote
bantering, fantastic, mock-serious stories of the kind that were
standardized by Mr. Dana's young men. He was a star reporter,
pulling down his thirty-five per; but any first-class horoscoper
would have allowed that Whitlock was destined to contribute to
_Puck_ and _Judge_, and probably attempt the libretto of a comic
opera. He legged it on the newspaper for a while and then
re-deserted, the same as most of the others, and went to
Springfield to resume his studies. This was his first erratic
move. If he had been a true journalist there wouldn't have been
anything more for him to learn. Then he published _The
Thirteenth District_. Many of his old friends bought it
expecting to get something on the order of refined vaudeville,
but found, instead, a true and tragic story of cheap ambitions.
Well, we watched him as mayor of Toledo, and we have been
telling everybody for the last year and a half that we did
assignments together and are members of the same college
fraternity and wouldn't be afraid to go right up and speak to
him anywhere.

To that scattered colony of twenty-five years ago I bring the
assurance that we are proud of Brand Whitlock and are glad to
call him our friend.

2. Brand Whitlock, American minister to Belgium, was the
principal guest at a private banquet given by the Lotos Club at
its home, 110 West Fifty-seventh Street, last night. It was
described by a prominent member of the club as a "banquet that
was not attended by any man prominent in politics, but one that
was intended to do honor to Mr. Whitlock and to drink a little
wine and to eat a little breast of guinea."

Politics and newspaper reporters were barred, and Whitlock in
his address made no reference to the European war or to the
situation in Belgium. "American Ideals" was the subject of the
address, and he referred to the inscription on Washington Arch,
in Washington Square, which says, "Let us here erect a standard
to which all the wise and honest may repair."

"That is a sentence of which I like to think," Mr. Whitlock
said. "It is a standard which to be effective must be erected in
the life of each citizen, and no one can erect it there but
himself. In no citizen did it ever attain such beautiful and
symmetrical proportions as in the life of Lincoln.

"Once in a foreign city I happened to pick up a penny in the
street. It was one of those that bear Lincoln's head. Looking at
it and thinking of its implications, the thought of home and all
that it brought up, the thought of all the hands through which
it had passed--hands of workmen, the hands of little children,
the hands of beggars, even; hard hands and gnarled hands and
honest hands, the hands of mine own people--it seemed to me to
have been made precious by the patina of democracy, and I
thought that nothing could have been more beautiful and
significant than that Lincoln's noble head should have been
engraved on our smallest coin, a token of our universal daily
need in hands that humbly break the bread their toil has earned.
That head to me somewhat palpably wore the people's love like
purple bays--the love of all those common people whom he so
wisely loved and bore in sorrow in his mighty heart.

"In him, as I have tried to say, the American ideal was most
perfectly exemplified, and it was exemplified in him because
after the illusions of life had gone he retained his ideals and
his faith in them. It was thus exemplified in him because in
addition to his wisdom, his gentleness, his patience, his hope,
and his faith, he had that other great American quality of
humor, which saved him in every situation, and by American humor
I mean that instinctive sense of human values that enables one
to see all things or most things in their proper relations, and
so becomes an integral part of the American ideal."

Four hundred fifty members of the club and their friends were at
the banquet. At the table with Whitlock were Dr. M. Woolsey
Stryker, president of Hamilton College; M. A. Van der Vyede,
Belgian Minister of Finance; Nathaniel C. Wright, editor of the
Toledo _Blade_; Rev. Dr. Leighton Parks, Melville E. Stone,
George Ade, and Hewitt H. Howland, of Indiana, all of whom
spoke.

Mr. Whitlock was introduced by Chester S. Lord, vice president
of the club, who presided in the absence of President F. R.
Lawrence, who was ill. Lord reviewed briefly some of the work of
Whitlock in Belgium, where he worked "with a fidelity and a
fairness and a supreme regard for the interests of humanity that
have won for him the praise and the admiration of the entire
world."

Speaking to Mr. Whitlock, Mr. Lord said: "The neutral nations
esteem you and love you. The belligerent nations admire and
respect you. No one could have addressed himself to this task
with greater loyalty, fidelity, or patriotism."

_B._ Do you find the following story meritorious or blameworthy? Why?

_MRS. PALTIER "NOT AT HOME"_

Mrs. Laura Paltier, who has just returned from Florida, was "not
at home" to reporters yesterday. They wanted to ask her several
questions about the $20,000 exposition fund now in her charge.

A maid answered the doorbell at 4356 Lake Erie Drive.

"Is Mrs. Paltier at home?"

"Who is it wants to see her?"

"_The Tribune_." The maid closed the door, leaving the reporter
on the porch. Five minutes later she returned. "Mrs. Paltier is
not at home. I don't know where she is nor when she will
return." She closed the door.

The reporter went to a telephone. "Is Mrs. Paltier at home?"

The maid's voice answered: "I will see." For a minute two voices
could be heard at the other end of the wire.

"Who is this, please?" asked the maid. Upon learning the
identity of the inquirer she said: "No, Mrs. Paltier is not at
home."

About that time the reporter decided that Mrs. Paltier was not
eager to see him.

_C._ Special assignments, such as reporting sermons, local addresses, commercial banquets, etc., may be taken as additional exercises for this chapter.

_CHAPTER XV_

_A._ From the following details write for a New York morning paper a story of the death of Tom Hilton:

Time and place of death, yesterday at the New York hospital;
age, 36; occupation, sexton at Christ Church on West
Thirty-sixth Street; attending physician, Dr. Henry Adair; cause
of death, swallowing false teeth while at breakfast with his
wife yesterday; efforts to save him: Dr. Adair summoned
immediately, incision made in throat, silver tube inserted to
allow passage of air to the lungs, and operation later at
hospital. Patient failed to rally after operation. Survivors:
wife and two children.

_B._ From the following details write for a Chicago evening paper a story of the fire that destroyed the plant of the W. M. Welch Manufacturing Company, makers of college and preparatory school diplomas:

Date, to-day, April 19, at 4:30 A.M.; location, 1516 Orleans
Street, Chicago; cause of fire, supposedly crossed wires on
second floor where fire started; loss $60,000 according to C. M.
Holmes, Jr., manager of the scientific department; persons
injured, one fireman slightly injured by falling glass;
institutions whose diplomas were destroyed, George Washington
University, Grinnell College, University of North Dakota,
Marquette University, Dakota Wesleyan College; lives endangered,
five firemen who were climbing a ladder on the rear wall when it
fell; insurance, amount not obtainable.

_C._ The following almost excellent news article has one grave weakness. Rewrite the story, strengthening the weak points.

Earl Moisley was 14 years old. He lived with his parents, three
brothers, and a sister at 5417 Gale Street. He was in the eighth
grade at the Beaubien school and a promising pupil.

Earl's grandmother gave him a lamb and he kept it in the
basement. One day last week the animal slipped through the open
door after its master and went bleating into the schoolroom
behind Earl.

"Mary had a little lamb
With fleece as white as snow."

Some one in the back row chanted the foolish nursery rhyme. Earl
was sent home with the lamb. Thereafter his life was made
miserable. Gangs of his comrades followed him, yelling in chorus
the song of "Mary" and "Little Bo-Peep."

Earl turned on one of his tormentors yesterday and blacked his
eye. His playmates say he was summoned before the principal of
the school and suspended for fighting. The boys assert they saw
him marching sturdily home digging one grimy fist in his eye and
muttering, "They'll be sorry, all right."

About 5 o'clock last evening Earl's younger brother went into
the basement. He saw a pair of shoes sticking over the top of a
little red wagon and ran upstairs.

"Mother," he said, "there's a man in the cellar. I saw his
feet."

Mrs. Moisley laid aside her washing and went downstairs with the
younger son. She then told her husband, Fred Moisley, an under
janitor at the city hall.

Moisley observed a piece of heavy twine tied to the water pipe.
He thought some man had committed suicide and ran outside for a
policeman. Mrs. Moisley went near the stiff, outthrust little
shoes, and saw they were those of a boy. She bent over the
figure and fainted. It was Earl. The lamb lay asleep beside the
body.

_D._ Correct in any way needful the following stories for a weekly paper:

1. Susie, the four-months-old daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Alvin
Konick, Booneville, died last night after a few days' illness.
She will be interred at the Meadowland cemetery Thursday. Susie
had the whooping-cough.

2. Mrs. Alice Rice was born in Jefferson county, Ga., on Aug. 6,
1864, and passed quietly away last Saturday, making her age 53
years, 10 months, and 27 days. Mr. and Mrs. Rice were married
about 32 years. One son, Samuel, and husband, Adam, survive her.
They moved to the Houghton farm, near Adaville, 14 years ago,
and were just intending to move to the White farm when death
overtook Mrs. Rice after an illness of 22 hours, which was not
considered serious until about 2 hours before her death. Mrs.
Rice had worked as busy as a bee all her years in Adaville, and
when her beautiful spirit quitted this mundane vale of tears,
she was rewarded with the loving attendance and affection of all
in the sorrowing neighborhood. The funeral service was conducted
Monday afternoon at the sorrowing home by the Rev. R. O. Tumlin.
The remains were interred at the Camp Meeting cemetery. Mrs.
Rice died of heart trouble.

_E._ Get the local and state weather forecast and write for to-morrow morning's paper a story of to-day's weather and to-morrow's prospects.

_CHAPTER XVI_

_A._ Criticize and rewrite the following baseball story:

The scribe again has a sad story to relate concerning the Sox,
inasmuch as the White Hose have failed for the sixth straight
time to win, and unfortunately it must be admitted that they in
every way deserved what they got.

In fact, if Manager Callahan had taken their bats away from
them after the first inning to-day and had buried them 20,000
leagues under the sea, securely padlocked in Davy Jones' locker,
his men would have been compelled to accept a victory over
Detroit instead of handing themselves a sixth straight defeat
after one of the cheesiest exhibitions of the national pastime
ever seen outside the walls of a state institute for the
mentally feeble.

The score was 5 to 4, and all five of Detroit's runs were
donated by the White Sox, a fact which seemed to rouse the
subconscious generosity of the Tigers to such a pitch that in
the ninth inning it was all the Callahan bunch could do to keep
their opponents from forcing on them enough tallies to even
matters up so that they could start over and let the best team
win in extra innings.

That ninth round saw three Detroit pitchers, Dame Fortune, Herr
Billiken, Mr. Providence and all the gods of Olympus conspiring
to give the White Sox the game which had been thrown away, but
the whole blamed bunch of good luck deities was foiled by a
couple of White Sox youngsters simply because Callahan forgot to
take their clubs away from them.

It would have been a joke that would have caused a laugh all
through the corridors of time if the White Sox had achieved a
triumph with only one base hit, but the fact remains it was
their own fault they did not do so. Their only safe hit was made
by Ray Demmitt, the Tiger discard, who has not yet worn a Sox
uniform long enough to forget the first use for a baseball bat.

Demmitt retains the impression that bats were made to get on
with, while the rest of Callahan's bunch use them solely to get
out with, and that was the whole trouble in the last round. The
Sox entered that spasm four runs behind, having converted
Demmitt's lone hit in the first inning into the only genuine
tally of the day.

Hall, who had enjoyed a breeze all the way at the expense of the
Sox, suddenly was seized with a generous fit and started passing
batsmen. After he had filled the bases with only one man out
Manager Jennings yanked the philanthropic hurler and sent Dauss
to the slab. Dauss was infected with the same Andrew Carnegie
spirit and issued another pass, forcing the Sox to make a tally.

There was no pity in Jennings' breast, so he ordered Dauss to
the booby hatch for a spanking and sent Coveleski to ladle out
the pitch stuff. The young southpaw was equally generous in
intent and would surely have forced in enough runs to give the
Sox the game, but two of the visitors absolutely refused to
accept that kind of a gift and got out. They were Tom Daly and
Ray Schalk.

For a while it looked as if Buck Weaver would have to shoulder
the blame for another defeat because he blew two runs over the
pan by missing a cinch double play in the fourth inning. But
Weaver had plenty of partners in crime before the thing was
over. Harry Lord and Jack Fournier joined him by helping to
contribute three runs to the Tiger total in the eighth.

Lord's miscue was a boot of a Cobb bounder in a tight place.
Fournier's blunder did not appear in the error column. Jack
simply sat down on the grass and watched a tall fly light near
him in gleeful security. By keeping his feet Fournier should
have caught said fly and saved the cost of Lord's error to boot.

Fournier was in the game in an effort to bolster up the offense,
not because he has anything as an outfielder on Bodie, whose
place he took in the batting order, but the switch did not work
out just as planned. Fournier made no better use of his stick
than the rest of the Sox, and gave way to Daly, who foiled the
generous efforts of the Tiger pitchers in the ninth.

It was a typical Joe Benz hard-luck game. The Indiana butcher
boy pitched well enough to have won with any club in the league
behind him, but only once were his pals anything but dead weight
around his neck. In the sixth, when the Tigers made a determined
attack, Weaver and Schalk came to Benz's assistance with a
remarkable play, which pinched Cobb off second base and wrecked
what looked like sure runs. And it is no small honor to have
caught the honorable Tyrus napping in a pinch like that....

_B._ Take as a special assignment a local football, basketball, or baseball game, or some other athletic contest and report it for the following morning's paper.

_CHAPTER XVII_

_A._ Write the story of the following for the society column in to-morrow morning's paper:

The parents of Elizabeth Wallace, 24, announced her engagement
to-day to Parker Maxwell. Miss Wallace's father is president of
the local First National Bank and lives at 1814 Prospect Drive.
Mr. Maxwell, 31, is cashier of the First National. Mr. Maxwell
and Miss Wallace have known each other from childhood.

_B._ Write the story of the following:

The details of Elizabeth Wallace's wedding (see _A_) two weeks
from to-day have been made public. She will be married at St.
Bartholomew's Church at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. Rev. C. K.
Tanner will perform the ceremony. The bride will enter with her
father. Howard Prentice, St. Louis, a college chum of the
bride-groom's, will be best man. Alice Wallace, a younger sister
of the bride, will be maid of honor. The bride will wear on the
bodice of her wedding gown an old Brussels lace worn by her
mother at her wedding thirty years ago. The predominating color
scheme will be yellow. There will be two flower girls, Jean
Thompson and Helen Orben, cousins of the bride. Three hundred
invitations have been issued. A luncheon to the bridal party,
relations, and a few intimate friends will be served at 1:30.

_C._ Write for to-day's paper an account of the marriage yesterday of Elizabeth Wallace and Parker Maxwell (See _A_ and _B_).

Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell left immediately after the wedding ceremony
for a trip through Yellowstone Park. On their return next month
they will live at 1200 East Sixtieth Street.

_CHAPTER XVIII_

_A._ Rewrite for this afternoon's paper the two following stories appearing in rival publications this morning. No additional details have been obtained.

_LOSES MONEY BETTING_

Two rough and hearty farmers struck up an acquaintance at a
hotel last Thursday. One was John I. Williams of Winthrop, Ia.
Mr. Williams is now sojourning in the city waiting to see if the
police can recover $2,500, his savings, which he bet on a "horse
race." The other introduced himself as William Shaw, a farmer
from near Winnipeg. The police are looking for him.

Mr. Williams reported his loss and told of meeting Shaw.

"We were together all Thursday afternoon and evening," said he.
"Shaw introduced me to another young man, who proposed the
racing bets. I have forgotten his name. He placed a $1 bet for
me and I won $5. He placed the $5 and brought back $15. It was
easy.

"Shaw and I agreed to put up $2,500 apiece and let him bet it.
Shaw put up checks, but the young man didn't know me, so I had
to go back to Walker, Ia., and draw my $2,500.

"On Saturday we gave him the money and checks in a hallway at
830 North State Street.

"We all shook hands and agreed to meet at 3 o'clock at State
Street and Chicago Avenue and divide the winnings. I waited more
than an hour at the meeting place. I think I've been swindled."

The police think so, too.

_SAYS BABIES BOOST TAXES_

The Mills legislative committee which is studying taxation has
discovered strange things in its two weeks' sojourn in New York
City, but it brought forth a real surprise yesterday in the
person of Prof. Joseph French Johnson of New York University,
who disclosed himself as a disciple of the late Thomas Robert
Malthus, proponent of the theory that there can never be a happy
society because population tends to increase at a much faster
rate than the old earth, working overtime, can provide food,
raiment, and other things.

Discussing yesterday the income tax, Prof. Johnson, who appeared
as chairman of the Merchant's Association committee on taxation,
said he wanted to nail the frequently expressed opinion that the
exemption accorded to the married man should be greater than
that which the bachelor enjoys.

"Since you are talking about exemptions," he said, "I might add
this: I would not exempt the married man. I would not give any
preference to the married man over the bachelor. I do not
believe it is a good thing to encourage matrimony by lowering
taxation. On the contrary, I would discourage matrimony by
making the married man pay a higher tax. I think we should not
do anything to encourage matrimony and child-bearing."

"Surely you are not serious, are you, Professor?" inquired
Senator Boylan.

"I certainly am serious. I should have to give you quite a
disquisition to explain my conclusions, and I doubt if it would
be practicable for you to consider the subject now. And you
would have to surrender to public opinion anyhow. If you do put
in force a new system of taxation you'll have to treat the
married man easily. I am still a confirmed disciple of Malthus,
and I believe that the awful war in Europe is being fought out
because the human race has deliberately refused to see the
lessons of his doctrines, which were taught a hundred years
ago."

Prof. Johnson, who in addition to being professor of economics
at New York University is also dean of the school of finance,
explained after he had left the stand that he is not opposed to
matrimony as an institution, nor as a refuge from loneliness for
those who can afford it. He is himself a married man and has
three children.

"I believe in the Malthusian theory," he said. "Just consider
that man is the only animal whose natural increase is not
regulated. We regulate the increase in the number of cats and
dogs and other domestic animals, but we let human beings go on
having children without any thought of the ability of society to
take care of them. I think we should regulate marriage and
especially child-bearing.

"In my opinion no married man ought to be allowed to have a
child until he can convince some authority of his ability to
provide properly for that child. We want all the increase we can
get in the good elements of population, but we ought to keep
down the 'riff-raff'--although you know as a matter of fact
there is no human 'riff-raff'--yet we allow them to increase
without any regulation. As for those who are able to take care
of themselves, let them marry and have children. The more the
merrier."

_B._ Selection (1) below is a bulletin received some hours after the news detailed in (2), which appeared in a morning paper. Combine the bulletin with the morning story.

1. After confessing that he was the cause of his sweetheart,
Emily Benton's, death, Alfred Barker committed suicide at 6:00
A.M. to-day by throwing himself in front of a Burlington express
train near the town of Ashworth. In his pocket was found the
following note:

"Dear Folks: God forgive me for causing my sweetheart's
death. I did not kill her. We walked out there and sat
down. I tried to kiss her and she repulsed me. I asked
her if she did not want to be my sweetheart any more. She
wouldn't answer. I took a hold of her waist, pushed
toward her, and tried to love her. She started to scream,
and I went completely out of my head.

"She became quiet all of a sudden. I thought I had hurt
her and she was breathing heavily but was senseless. I
covered her up and don't remember what happened until I
awoke to find myself lying along the road, near
Naperville.

"My mind came back. I realized what I had done and I
went over to the quarry and jumped in, but could not
sink.

"Then I went to Aurora, bought some chloroform, and that
night (Sunday) I came back and found my darling's body,
and I realized that she was really dead. I laid down
beside her and took chloroform, but about 2:30 A.M. I
woke up and the bottle had tipped over.

"Then I went to Belmont and got a freight and rode to
Aurora, where I got more chloroform. I came back to
Dawson Grove and went into the woods and saturated my
handkerchief with chloroform, thinking I would surely
die. But it failed to work also.

"I could not live and know that my sweetheart Emily was
dead, so I have resolved in a desperate way to end my
life.

"The girl died of heart failure or fright, as I surely
could not kill the one I thought the most of in the whole
world.

"I loved her more than words can tell and I would die for
her and I will die for her.

"I have been partly insane for the last two days.

"Forgive me and I pray to meet my sweetheart in heaven.

"Alfred."

This morning at 10 o'clock a jury impaneled by W. V. Hopf, Ellis
County coroner, will assemble in Dawson Grove for an inquest
into the two deaths. At the same hour the funeral of the girl
will be held from the house of the widowed mother she supported.
The funeral of Barker will be at two o'clock to-morrow.

_GIRL DEAD IN MYSTERY CASE_

2. Miss Emily Benton was found dead late yesterday in a patch of
bushes on the outskirts of the village of Dawson Grove. She had
disappeared Saturday evening in company with Alfred Barker, a
young man who had been paying her attention since childhood.

Searching parties in the field since early Sunday morning were
joined last night by a sheriff's posse in the quest for Barker.
Barker is described as an athletic young man with a "Johnny
Evers" jaw. Barker was about 5 feet 10 inches tall and a blond.

Barker and the girl were "pals" in the words of their
relatives, who only half guessed at times that perhaps the long
friendship would become a "match." Together the girl and Barker
often through the springtime took long walks at
night--occasionally a matter of many miles--to the villages of
Hinman and Nashville. For several years the couple rode to
Chicago together to work every day on the same commuters' train
and often returned home together at night.

While an alarm was sent out through all the surrounding towns
for the apprehension of Barker, no charges have been made
against him. An autopsy held in secret by Coroner Hopf of Ellis
county was expected to reveal the cause of the girl's death.

Alfred Barker, returning from his work at the general offices of
the Burlington Railroad in Chicago, dropped off a train at the
station in Dawson Grove on Saturday afternoon at 5:15 o'clock.
He lingered about the station platform until the 6:30 train came
in and met Miss Benton, home from her day's work at the Parisian
Fashion Company in Chicago. Together they walked to the girl's
home and stood talking on the doorstep of the Benton residence,
just as they had most every afternoon in the last seven years.
The mother says she overheard this conversation:

Alfred.--"Let's take in a show to-night."

Emily.--"No, but I'll be over to-night. I want to see Pauline."

The girl abruptly entered the house and greeted her mother a
trifle impatiently.

"I'm getting awful tired of Al," she said.

That evening the girl went to the home of her sister, Mrs. Henry
Wallis, where Barker and his aunt, Mrs. Fannie Willis,
mother-in-law of Mrs. Wallis, also live. At 8 o'clock the girl
and Barker left together.

"They said they might go to a show, and that's the last I saw of
them," Mrs. Wallis said.

Late at night the two households became alarmed when neither of
the young people returned. The families suggested to each other
that Barker and the girl had eloped, but still there were doubts
and misgivings.

Martin Whittier, the town marshal, was called and the alarm was
sent to the Chicago police. Sunday morning came and there was no
word of either of the missing.

A group of high school boys volunteered to look for the couple,
and soon they were joined by the whole school. No trace of the
trail was found.

Yesterday morning the disappearance had grown into a village
sensation. The schools were closed for the day and all the
pupils turned out to beat over the fields and woods.

Carl Selig, a grocery delivery man, was driving in Orchard
Street on the south side of the village, about 5 o'clock, when
something behind a bunch of bushes and tanglewood at Lyman
Street caught his eye. He climbed off the wagon and pushed
through the brush to investigate. In a small open place half
concealed by the bushes Selig came upon a girl's body. The face
was covered with her coat and her hands were folded across her
breast. He gingerly pulled off the coat and recognized the girl
as Emily Benton. Selig gave the alarm and the body was removed
to Davis's undertaking rooms in the village.

The ground near the death spot was closely examined without
discovery of any trace of a struggle. Ten feet away from the
body a boy picked up an empty two-ounce bottle. It showed no
trace of its contents and it bore no label.

At the undertaking rooms a preliminary examination of the body
disclosed a bruised splotch on the girl's neck, another on the
right temple, and a third on the chin. The inside of her mouth
was discolored and seared, as though she might have taken
carbolic acid. There was no odor to indicate any chemical.

Last night Sheriff Kuhn and Coroner Hopf of Ellis county went to
Dawson Grove and assumed personal charge of the case.

_CHAPTER XIX_

_A._ Write a feature story on the different ways students in your college make money. Get statistics of the number of students earning their way wholly or in part and the amount of money earned during a college year.

_B._ The following statement was made by Dr. Martin Frederick of the city medical staff, Cleveland, Ohio: "Milady's dimples are defects caused by faulty construction or weaknesses of the cheek muscles." Interview several ladies who have dimples and write the story.

_C._ The following statements were made by Colonel G. O. Shields, president of the League of American Sportsmen:

"The cotton growers are suffering a loss of one hundred million
dollars a year by reason of the ravages of the boll weevil. Why?
Because the quails, the prairie chickens, the meadow larks and
other birds which were formerly there in millions have been
swept away by gunners. The grain growers are losing over one
hundred million dollars a year on account of the work of the
chinch bug. They are losing another two hundred million dollars
a year on account of the work of the Hessian fly. Both of these
are very small insects, almost microscopic in size. It takes
over twenty-four thousand chinch bugs to weigh one ounce. A
quail killed in a wheat field in Ohio and examined by a
government expert had in its craw the remains of over twelve
hundred chinch bugs it had eaten that day. Another quail killed
in Kansas and examined by another government expert had in its
craw the remains of over two thousand Hessian flies that it had
eaten that day. The farmers of the Northern states are paying
out sixteen to seventeen million dollars a year for paris green
to put on their potato vines. A quail killed in a potato field
in Pennsylvania and examined by a government entomologist had in
its stomach the remains of one hundred twenty-six bugs. The
quail is one of the most valuable insect-eating birds of its
size in the world; and yet there are so-called sportsmen all
over the land, thousands of them, who insist on having legal
authority to kill every quail they can find during at least
three months of each year. Then there is a whole army of
game-hogs who go out and kill them when they are half grown and
when there is no game warden in sight."

Write a feature story about the value of birds.

_D._ The following bill of fare for fifteen cents was found in a restaurant at 1615 Austin Avenue: two eggs cooked any style, one cup of coffee, two slices of bread, butter, potatoes, toothpicks. Steak instead of eggs made the price twenty cents. Pie was five cents. The proprietor, Christ Terss, a Greek, has supported himself and wife for two years on this priced menu and in addition has put $200 in the bank. Make a feature story of the details.

_E._ In the court of domestic relations yesterday, Willie Preber, 19, 1848 Ontario Street, was accused by his stepmother, Mrs. John Preber, of fighting her. Willie pleaded not guilty, saying he could not fight with her much, as he had a weak heart and might die if he got excited. He declared he never touched her more than once a day. He was sent to the house of correction for sixty days.

_F._ The _Seattle Star_ got a good story by interviewing a number of men and women about the book they had liked most when children. _Tom Sawyer_ and _Robinson Crusoe_ led the list. Try the story in your town or in your university.

_G._ A similar story to that in _F_ may be had by interviewing a number of persons about their favorite sacred hymn. "Onward, Christian Soldiers" led the list in Columbus, Ohio.

_H._ Inquire of twelve or fifteen college men and women what favorite remedies they use for colds. Their varied replies will be startling. Make a feature story of their answers.

_I._ Question a number of persons in your town, or in your university, about their favorite hobbies, and feature the story as "Riding Hobby Horses with _Blank_ Men and Women."

_J._ Inquire of the members of the senior class what kinds of husbands or wives they expect to marry. If they do not intend marrying, get their reasons and feature them in a separate story.