Chapter II: Part 2

ASKING MEN TO CALL ON WOMEN. A debutante
should leave this matter to her mother
or chaperone.

A young woman, until she has had some
experience in society, should be very careful
in inviting men to call.

She should not invite a man to call whom
she has met for the first time. No man
should be invited to call until she is assured
of his social standing and character.

In some parts of the country men first ask
permission to call, and in other parts women
first ask men to call.

ASKING WOMEN TO CALL ON WOMEN. It is
generally the custom for the married or elder
woman to ask the unmarried or younger
woman to call.

BACHELORS' DINNERS. See BACHELORS' DINNERS
--CALLS.

BREAKFAST. See BREAKFASTS--CALLS.

BEST MAN. See BEST MAN--CALLS

BRIDESMAIDS. See BRIDESMAIDS--CALLS.

CHAPERONES. See CHAPERONES--MEN CALLING.

BUSINESS. A business man may call in street
dress upon a woman before six o'clock.

Social visits may be made in the same
manner.

DAYS AT HOME. Calls should only be made on
the regular "At Home" days, and the
hostess should always be present on that day.
Very intimate friends may set aside this rule.

DEBUTANTE. See DEBUTANTE--CALLS.

DRESS. When making an afternoon call, a man
would wear afternoon dress, and evening
dress in making an evening call.

HIGH TEA. See HIGH TEA--CALLS.

HOURS. When no special day for receiving is
indicated, calls may be made at any proper
hour, according to the custom of the locality.
Men of leisure may call at the fashionable
hours from two till five in the afternoon, while
business and professional men may call between
eight and nine in the evening, as their
obligations prevent them from observing the
fashionable hours.

LENGTH. A formal call may last from fifteen to
thirty minutes. Old friends may stay longer.

LUNCHEONS. See LUNCHEON--CALLS.

MEN. AFTER ENTERTAINMENTS. After an entertainment
a man should call in person on
host and hostess, whether the invitation was
accepted or not. If a card is sent or mailed,
it should be accompanied with an apology.

To call on an acquaintance in an opera
box does not relieve one of the duty of making
a formal call in return for social favors.

When calling on the hostess but not on
the host, a man should leave a card for him.
If the hostess be out, he should leave two
cards.

Married men can return their social obligations
to women by personal calls, or the
women of the family can leave the men's
cards with their own.

A call should be made the day following a
luncheon or a breakfast; the same after a
dinner, or at least within a week. A call
should be made within a week after a ball.

After a theatre party given by a man, he
should call within three days on the woman
he escorted, or leave his card, and should
call within a week on the remainder of his
guests.

MEN CALLING ON MEN. At the beginning of
the season it is usual to leave a card for each
member of a family called on--one card for
husband, wife, "misses," and guest, or rest
of the family. Sometimes two cards answer
the purpose.

They may be sent by mail or messenger.

MEN CALLING ON WOMEN. A man should call
only on "At Home" days, especially when
making the first call, unless specially invited.
He should call at the hour appointed.

When no special day for receiving is indicated,
calls may be made at any proper hour,
according to the custom of the locality. Men
of leisure may call at the fashionable hours
--from two till five o'clock.

Business and professional men may call
between eight and nine o'clock, as their obligations
prevent them from observing the
fashionable hours.

A business man may call in street dress
before six o'clock, and the same dress in the
evening, if intimately acquainted.

Informal calls may be made on Sunday
after three o'clock by business and professional
men, provided there are no religious or
other scruples on the part of those receiving
the calls.

Evening or other than mere formal calls
should not be made, save by special invitation.

The first call should last not longer than
ten or fifteen minutes. It is correct to ask
for all the women of the family.

At the first call he should give his card at
the door. At following calls it is optional
whether to give a card or merely the name,
asking at the same time for the person one
desires to see. When the servant's intelligence
seems doubtful, or the name is an
unusual one, it is safer to give a card.

When a woman invites a man to call without
specifying when, it is not considered as
an invitation at all, but merely as a formal
courtesy.

It is bad form to solicit by innuendo or
otherwise an invitation to call from a woman.
It is her privilege to make the first move in
such matters; otherwise she would be placed
in an embarrassing position.

When an invitation specifies the hour,
every effort should be made to be punctual.
It is impolite to be too early or too late.

At a formal call, when others are present,
a man should not be seated unless invited to
do so. He should leave as others come in,
and not remain longer than ten or fifteen
minutes.

A man having a card or letter of introduction
to a young woman should present it in
person to the chaperone. If she is out, he
should mail it to her, and she should at once
notify him whether he may call.

If a caller is a stranger to the young
woman's hostess, he should send his card to
the latter and ask to see her.

The chaperone may, if desirable, give a
man permission to call upon the woman
under her charge.

A man should not call upon an unmarried
woman until invited by her to do so. He
may ask a married woman who has a family
for permission to call.

GLOVES. Gloves need not be removed at a formal
or brief call.

ENTERTAINMENTS. At entertainments a man
should give his card to the servant at the
door or leave it in the hall.

A few appropriate words of greeting should
be addressed to the hostess and host as soon
after entering as possible.

Personal introductions are not absolutely
required at musicales, teas, "At Homes," etc.
One may converse with those nearest, but
this does not warrant future recognition.

When light repasts are served, as teas, ices,
etc, a man should put his napkin on his
knee and hold the plate in his hand.

He should depart with as little ceremony
as possible--a bow and a smile, if host and
hostess are engaged, are sufficient. He
should not shake hands and try to speak unless
it can be done without becoming conspicuous.

MEN CALLING ON WOMEN--HAT. A man making
a formal or brief call should carry his
hat in his hand into the parlor.

SHAKING HANDS. A man should not offer to
shake hands first, as that is the privilege of
the women.

MEN--DRESS. In making ceremonious calls, men
wear afternoon dress, and after six o'clock
evening dress.

See also AFTERNOON DRESS--MEN. EVENING
DRESS--MEN.

PALL-BEARERS. See PALL-BEARERS--CALLS.

THEATRE. See THEATRE--CALLS.

USHERS. See USHERS--CALLS.

WEDDING INVITATIONS. Very intimate friends
can call personally. Friends of the groom
who have no acquaintance with the bride's
family should send their cards to those inviting
them.

Those who do not receive wedding invitations,
announcement, or "At Home" cards
should not call on the married couple, but
consider themselves as dropped from their
circle of acquaintance.

WOMEN RECEIVING AND INVITING MEN. The
invitation to call should be extended by the
woman, and if she does not specify the time,
will naturally be considered as an act of
courtesy, but not as an invitation.

These invitations should be given with great
care by young women. It is better to have
the invitation extended by her mother or
chaperone.

A married woman may ask a man to call,
especially if she have unmarried daughters.
An afternoon tea is an appropriate time to
specify. A man may ask a married woman
who has a family for permission to call.

At the beginning of a season, a man who
desires the further acquaintance of a woman
should leave his card in person for all the
members of the family.

A formal call, or the first call of the season,
should, mot last longer than ten or fifteen
minutes. It is proper for the man to inquire
for all the women of the family.

A man should call only on "At Home"
days, unless especially invited to come at
other times. The hostess should be home on
all "At Home" days, unless sickness or
other good cause prevents.

In the absence of "At Home" days, or
specified time, calls may be received at any
proper hour, according to the locality of the
place.

When men make a formal call at other than
specified time, the hostess may justly excuse
herself. The caller would have no ground
for offense.

Intimate friends need not hold to formal
hours for paying calls.

Men of leisure should call only at fashionable
hours--from two to five in the afternoon.

Evening calls should not be made by other
than business or professional men, unless the
acquaintance be an intimate one, or unless
they are specially invited.

Business and professional men may call between
eight and nine o'clock, as their obligations
prevent them from observing the fashionable
hours.

Informal calls may be made on Sunday
after three o'clock by business and professional
men, provided there are no religious or other
scruples on the part of those receiving the
calls.

A business man may call in street dress
before six o'clock in the evening, or thereafter
if intimacy warrants.

Evening, or other than mere formal calls,
should not be made, save by special invitation.

A man should leave his card when calling.
If his hostess is married, he should leave
one also for the host. If she is out, he
should leave two.

When calling upon a young woman whose
hostess is not known to the man, he should
send his card to her.

If the woman is seated when a man enters
the room, she rises to greet him, and, if
she wishes, shakes hands. It is her option
to shake hands or not, and she should make
the first advances. It is bad form for him
to do so.

During a formal call, when other guests
are present, a man should remain standing
and depart upon the entrance of others. If
the hostess is seated at the time, she need not
rise or shake hands, but merely bow.

The hostess should not accompany a caller
to the door of the parlor, but bow from her
chair.

Dropping in at a theatre or opera party
does not relieve a man from making formal
calls that may be due.

A woman's escort to a theatre party should
call upon her within a week. If she were
his guest, he should do so within three days,
or send his card, with an apology.

Business calls are privileged, and can be
made when convenient, although preferably
by appointment.

WOMEN RECEIVING--INTRODUCTIONS. At formal
calls conversation should be general among
the guests. Introductions are unnecessary.

AFTERNOON. See AFTERNOON CALLS.

COUNTRY. See COUNTRY CALLS.

EVENING. See EVENING CALLS.

FIRST. See FIRST CALLS.

INVALID'S. See INVALID'S CALLS.

SUNDAY. See SUNDAY CALLS.

CANCELING DINNERS. When it becomes necessary for
a hostess to cancel or postpone a dinner, she
should send as soon as possible, either by
special delivery or messenger, a letter to each
guest who has accepted the invitation. The
letter, written either in the first or third person,
should state the reason and express
regrets.

CANCELING WEDDINGS. See WEDDINGS-INVITATIONS RECALLED.

CANES. A cane is the correct thing for a man when
walking, except when engaged in business.
It should be held a few inches below the
knob, ferrule down, and should, like umbrellas,
be carried vertically.

CALLING. When making a formal or brief call
the cane should be left in the hall.

CARDINAL-HOW ADDRESSED. A letter, official or
social, begins: Your Eminence, and ends: I
have the honor to remain your humble servant.
The address on the envelope is: His Eminence
Cardinal Wilson.

CARDS.

DEBUT. See DEBUT CARDS.

DEBUTANTS. See DEBUTANTE CARDS.

INFANT. See INFANT'S CARDS.

IN MEMORIAM. See IN MEMORIAM CARDS.

MOURNING. See MOURNING CARDS.

CARDS, VISITING.

ADDRESSING. See ADDRESSING CARDS (VISITING).

AFTERNOON TEAS. See CARDS (VISITING), LEAVING
IN PERSON--AFTERNOON TEAS. CARDS (VISITING),
MAIL OR MESSENGER-AFTERNOON TEAS.

AT HOME. See AT HOME-CARDS.

BIRTH (ANNOUNCEMENT). See CARDS (VISITING),
LEAVING IN PERSON--BIRTH.

CONDOLENCE. See CONDOLENCE--CARDS.

DAUGHTER. See DAUGHTERS--CARDS (VISITING).

GARDEN PARTIES. See GARDEN PARTIES--CARDS.

HUSBAND AND WIFE. When the wife is calling,
she can leave cards of the husband and
sons if it is impossible for them to do so
themselves.

After an entertainment, cards of the family
can be left for the host and hostess by either
the wife or any of the daughters.
See Also MR. AND MRS. CARD.

LEAVING IN PERSON. When cards with a message
of congratulation are left in person,
nothing should be written on it.

LEAVING IN PERSON--AFTERNOON TEAS.
Women leave cards of their male relatives
as well as their own, although their names
may be announced upon entering the drawing-room.
Guests leave their cards in a receptacle
provided, or give them to the servant
at the door.

MEN. A bachelor should not use AT HOME
cards as a woman does, nor to invite his
friends by writing a date and MUSIC AT FOUR
on his calling card in place of an invitation.

MEN--LEAVING IN PERSON. When returning
to town after a long absence, a man should
leave cards having his address.

When calling upon a young woman whose
hostess is not known by the man, he should
send his card to her.

At the beginning of a season, a man should
leave two cards for all those whose entertainments
he is in the habit of attending, or on
whom he pays social calls. These cards
may also be mailed. If left in person, there
should be one for each member of the family
called upon, or only two cards. In the
former there should be left one card for the
host, one for the hostess, one for the
"misses," and one for the rest of the family
and their guest.

Men of leisure should leave their own
cards, while business men can have them
left by the women of the family.

The corner of the card should not be
turned down.

Cards are now left in the hall by the servant
and the caller is announced. In business
calls the card is taken to the person for
whom the caller asked.

When calling, a man should leave a card
whether the hostess is at home or not.

P. P. C. card's may be left in person or
sent by mail upon departure from city, or
on leaving winter or summer resort.

When a man calls upon a young woman
whom a hostess is entertaining, he should
leave cards for both.

When a man calls upon another man, if he
is not at home, he should leave a card.

When a man calls on the hostess but not
the host he should leave a card for him.
If the hostess is out, he should leave two
cards--one for each.

BREAKFASTS, LUNCHEONS, DINNERS. A man
should leave a card the day after a breakfast,
luncheon, or dinner for the host and hostess,
whether the invitation was accepted or not.
They may also be sent by mail or messenger,
with an apology for so doing.

BALLS, SUBSCRIPTION. Shortly after receiving
an invitation to a subscription ball, a man
should leave a card for the patroness inviting
him.

DEBUTANTE. When calling upon a debutante a
man should leave cards for her mother,
whether the entertainment was attended or
not.

ENTERTAINMENT BY MEN. After a man's formal
entertainment for men, a man should leave a
card within one week, whether the event was
attended or not. It can be sent by mail or
messenger.

RECEPTION. When the host and hostess receive
together, a man should leave one card for
both, and if not present at the reception, he
should send two cards.

THEATRE. After a theatre party given by a
man, he should call within three days on the
woman he escorted or leave his card.

WEDDING RECEPTION. After a wedding reception
a man should leave a card for the host
and hostess, and another for the bridal
couple.

If a man has been invited to the church
but not to the wedding reception, he should
leave a card for the bride's parents and the
bridal couple, or should mail a card.

SENDING BY MAIL, OR MESSENGER. After an
entertainment a man should call in person on
host and hostess, whether the invitation was
accepted or not. If a card is mailed or sent,
it should be accompanied with an apology.

At the beginning of the season a man
should leave cards for all those whose entertainments
he is in the habit of attending, or
on whom he pays social calls. These cards
may also be mailed. If left in person, there
should be one for each member of the household
or only two cards.

In the former case, there should be left one
card for the host, one for the hostess, one for
the "misses," and one for the rest of the
family and the guest.

If a man is unable to make a formal call
upon a debutante and her mother at her
debut, he should send his card by mail or
messenger.

A man may mail his card to a woman
engaged to be married, if acquaintance
warrants.

Visitors to town should send cards to every
one whom they desire to see. The address
should be written on them.

AFTERNOON TEA. If a man is unable to be
present at an afternoon tea, he should send a
card the same afternoon.

BREAKFASTS, LUNCHEONS, DINNERS. A man
should leave a card the day after a breakfast,
luncheon, or dinner for the host and hostess,
whether the invitation was accepted or not.
They may be sent by mail or messenger with
an apology for so doing.

ENTERTAINMENT BY MEN. After a man's formal
entertainment for men, a man should leave a
card within one week, whether the event was
attended or not. It can be sent by mail or
messenger.

P. P. C. cards may be sent by mail or messenger
upon departure from city, or on leaving
winter or summer resort.

RECEPTION. When the host and hostess receive
together, a man should leave one card for
both, and, if not present at the reception, he
should send two cards.

WEDDING RECEPTION. If a man has been invited
to the church but not the wedding
reception, he should leave or mail a card to
the bride's parents, and also to the bridal
couple.

STYLE. The full name should be used, and if
too long, the initials only. The club address
is put in the lower left-hand corner, and if
not living at a club, the home address should
be in lower right-hand corner. In the absence
of a title, Mr. is always used on an
engraved but not a written card.

Cards should be engraved in plain letter,
according to prevailing fashion.

Facsimile cards engraved are no longer
used.

Written cards are in bad taste, but in case
of necessity they may be used. The name
should be written in full if not too long, and
should be the autograph of the sender.

Messages or writing should not appear on
men's cards. If address is changed, new
cards should be engraved. In an emergency
only the new address may be written.

MOURNING CARDS are the same size as visiting-
cards, and a black border is used--the width
to be regulated by the relationship of the
deceased relative.

MEN--STYLE, TITLES. Men having titles use
them before their names--as, Reverend, Rev.,
Mr., Dr., Army and Navy titles, and officers
on retired list. L.L.D. and all professional
titles are placed after the name. Political
and judicial titles are always omitted.

Physicians may use Dr. before or M.D.
after the name. On cards intended for social
use, office hours and other professional
matter are omitted.

MR. AND MRS. See MR. AND MRS. CARDS.

P. P. C. See P. P. C. CARDS.

SENDING BY MAIL OR MESSENGER. If after
accepting an invitation it is necessary to
decline, a card should be sent the evening of
the entertainment, with an explanatory note
the day following.

When an invitation has been received to
an "At Home" debut, and one has not been
able to attend, cards should be sent by mail
or messenger, to arrive at the time of the
ceremony.

A card should be mailed to a man engaged
to be married.

AFTERNOON TEAS. The invitations to a formal
afternoon tea are sent a week or ten days in
advance by mail or messenger. No reply is
necessary, but if unable to be present, a card
should be sent the day of the entertainment.

For an afternoon tea a visiting-card may
be used, with the hour for the "tea" written
or engraved over the date beneath the fixed
day of that week. They may be sent by mail
or messenger.

Persons unable to attend should send cards
the same afternoon.

BIRTH (ANNOUNCEMENT). If wishing to congratulate
after a birth, cards should be left in
person or sent by a messenger. Cut flowers
may be sent with the card.

CONDOLENCE. After a death in the family of
an acquaintance, a card with the word
Condolence written on it should be left in person or
by messenger. For very intimate acquaintances,
cut flowers may be left in person or
sent, together with a card or letter.

When unable to leave in person a card
with Condolence written on it, send it to intimate
friends only with a note of apology. If
out of town, it should be sent with a letter of
condolence.

TRAVELERS. A woman visiting a place for a
length of time should mail to her friends a
visiting-card which contains her temporary
address.

A man in similar situation should call upon
his friends, and if he does not find them at
home, should leave his card.

WEDDING INVITATIONS. Those present at the
ceremony should leave cards for those inviting
them, and if this is not possible, they can
be sent by mail or messenger.

Those invited but not present should send
cards.

WIDOW. See WIDOWS--CARDS.

WIFE. Only the wife of the oldest member of
the oldest branch may use her husband's
name without the initials.

WOMEN. Mrs. or Miss should always be used
before the names. The cards of single
women are smaller than those of married
women.

The husband's name should be used in
full, unless too long, when the initials are
used. Only the wife of the oldest member
of the oldest branch may use her husband's
name without initials.

Reception days should appear in the lower
left-hand corner, limiting dates--as, Until
Lent, or in January, may be either engraved
or written.

If a special function is allotted to any
reception days--as, the entertaining of special
guests--the hour of the reception day may be
written above the day and the date beneath it.

DAUGHTERS. See DAUGHTERS--CARDS.

LEAVING IN PERSON--BIRTH, ANNOUNCEMENT OF.
If wishing to send congratulations,
after receipt of a birth announcement card,
cards should be left in person or sent by a
messenger; cut flowers may be sent with the
card.

Before the wedding cards are issued, an
engaged woman should leave her card
personally upon her friends without entering the
house.

When calling at the beginning of the season
a woman should leave her own card,
those of the men of the family, and two of
her husband's.

After formal invitations, a woman should
leave her own card and those of the men of
the family who were invited, whether they
attended or not.

When calling formally a woman should
leave a card, whether the hostess is at home
or not.

When a woman calls upon a well-known
friend, it is not necessary to send up a card.

When making a call at a hotel or other
public place, the name of the person called
upon should be written in the upper left-
hand corner of the card--as:

For Mrs. Jane Wilson

The corner of the card should not be
turned down.

P. P. C. cards may be left in person or
sent by mail upon departure from city, or
on leaving winter or summer resort.

The corner of the card should not be
turned down.

RECEPTION. At receptions a woman should
leave the cards in the hall or hand them to
the servant.

At a "coming-out reception" a woman
should leave cards for the mother and
daughter.

A married man returns his social obligations
to women by personal calls, or his wife
can do it for him by leaving his card with
her own.

MOTHER AND DAUGHTER. After her debut the
younger of the two daughters has no card of
her own, as her full baptismal name appears
on her mother's card beneath her name. A
year after her first appearance she may have
a card of her own.

When a mother leaves her daughter's card,
it is for the hostess only.

If reception day appear on the mother's
card, the daughters also receive on that date,
as the daughters have no reception days of
their own.

MOTHER AND SON. When a mother is calling,
she can leave cards of her son for the host
and hostess if it is impossible for him to do so
himself.

A son entering society can have his cards
left by his mother upon a host and hostess.
Invitations to entertainments will follow.

RETURNING TO TOWN. Cards of the entire
family should be sent by mail to all
acquaintances when returning after a
prolonged absence.

When using cards, if out of town, the
place of a woman's permanent residence can
be written on the card--thus: New York.
Philadelphia.

SENDING BY MAIL OR MESSENGER. A woman
visiting a place for a length of time should
mail to her friends her visiting-card
containing her temporary address.

P. P. C. cards may be sent by mail or
messenger upon departure from city, or
on leaving winter or summer resort.

After a change of residence the cards of
the entire family should be sent out as soon
as possible.

At the beginning of the season both married
and single women should send their cards
to all their acquaintances.

Visitors to town should send cards to every
one whom they desire to see, with the address
written on the cards.

For afternoon tea a visiting-card may be
used. The hour for the tea is written or
engraved over, and the date beneath the fixed
day of the week. They may be sent by mail
or messenger.

The cards of a debutante may be sent by
mail or messenger.

Mourning cards should be sent to indicate
temporary retirement from society. Later
cards should be sent to indicate return to
society.

AFTERNOON TEA. If a woman is unable to be
present at an afternoon tea she should send
her card the same afternoon.

WEDDING RECEPTION. When invitations have
been received to the church but not to the
wedding reception, cards should be sent to
the bride's parents and to the bridal couple.

WOMEN--STYLE, TITLES. Women having titles
should use them before the name--as,
Reverend or Rev. Mrs. Smith. Physicians use Dr.
before or M.D. after the name. Office hours
and other professional matters are omitted on
cards for social use. Husband's titles should
never be used. The home address is put in
the lower right-hand and the club address in
the lower left-hand corner.

The card of the eldest daughter in society
is simply Miss Wilson.

CARDS OF ADMISSION TO CHURCH WEDDINGS. These
cards are used at all public weddings held in
churches, and when they are used no one
should be admitted to the church without
one. They are sent with the wedding invitations.

CARRIAGES.

BALLS. See BALLS-CARRIAGES.

DANCES. See DANCES-CARRIAGES.

FUNERALS. See FUNERALS-CARRIAGES.

MEN. In a general way a man should provide a
carriage when escorting a woman in evening
dress to any function. If she does not wear
evening dress, and they are going to an informal
affair, it would be proper to take a
street-car.

SUPPERS. See SUPPER AND THEATRE PARTIES--MEN--CARRIAGES.

THEATRES. See THEATRES AND OPERA PARTIES GIVEN BY MEN--CARRIAGES.

WOMEN. A woman accepting, with her mother's
or chaperone's consent, a man's invitation to
the theatre may, with propriety, request him
not to provide a carriage unless full dress on
her part is requested.

CATHOLIC PRIEST--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter
begins: Reverend and Dear Sir, and ends: I
have the honor to remain your humble servant.
A social letter begins: Dear Father Wilson,
and ends: I beg to remain faithfully yours,
The address on the envelope is: The Reverend
John J. Wilson. But if he holds the
degree of D.D. (Doctor of Divinity), the
address is: Reverend John J. Wilson, D.D.,
or Reverend Dr. John J. Wilson.

CELERY is eaten with the fingers.

CHANGE OF RESIDENCE. WOMEN. After a change of
residence, the cards of the entire family
should be sent out as soon as possible.

CHAPERONE. A chaperone takes precedence of her
charge in entering drawing or dancing rooms
and on ceremonious occasions. At an entertainment
both enter together, and the chaperone
should introduce her protege to the
hostess and to others. The two should remain
together during the evening. In a
general way the chaperon takes under her
charge the social welfare of her protege.

BALLS. A mother should attend balls with her
daughters, going and returning with them,
and if she is not invited, it is in good taste
for the daughters to decline the invitation.
A father can act as escort, if need be, instead
of the mother. A mother can delegate her
powers to some one else when requested to
act as a chaperone.

MEN CALLING. A man should ask the chaperone's
permission to call upon her protege,
and once it is granted no further permission
is necessary. The chaperone should be present
while a debutante receives male callers
the first year, and when the first call is made
she should be present throughout the evening
and should decide as to the necessity
of her presence during subsequent visits.

CARDS. A chaperone introducing and accompanying
young women should leave her own
card with that of her protege.

DANCES. The chaperone should give her
permission to a man who desires to dance,
promenade, or go to supper with her charge,
who should not converse with him at length
save at the chaperon's side, and the chaperon
should accompany both to supper. If without
an escort, the young woman may accept
the invitation of her last partner before
supper is announced.

INTRODUCTIONS. A man should never be introduced
direct by card or letter to a young
unmarried woman. If he desires to be
introduced, the letter or card of introduction
should be addressed to her chaperone or
mother, who may then introduce him to the
young woman if she deems it advisable.

At an entertainment a chaperone may ask
a young man if he wishes to be introduced
to the one under her care.

LETTERS OF INTRODUCTION. A man having a
letter of introduction to a young woman
should present it in person to the chaperone.
If the latter is out when he calls, he should
mail it to her, and she may then notify him
when he may call, and should herself be
present.

SUPPER, TEA, DINNER. A young woman receiving an
invitation to a man's supper, tea,
or dinner may accept if she has the consent
of her mother or chaperone, and is assured
that a chaperone will be present.

THEATRES. A chaperone's permission should be
asked before a man's invitation to the theatre
can be accepted. The chaperone can also
accept, on behalf of her protege, invitations
from men to theatre parties or suppers,
if she too is invited.

The chaperone should be present at mixed
theatre parties--one for small, and two or
more for larger parties and suppers. The
chaperones may use their own carriage to
call for the guests, and then meet the men at
the places of entertainment. The chaperone
should say when the entertainment shall
close.

UNABLE TO BE PRESENT. When a chaperone
is unable to fulfill her duties, she may delegate
them to another, provided it is agreeable
to all concerned.

CHEESE is first cut into small bits, then placed on
pieces of bread or cracker, and lifted by the
fingers to the mouth.

CHINA WEDDING. This is the twentieth wedding anniversary,
and is not usually celebrated; but
if it is, the invitation may bear the words
NO PRESENTS RECEIVED, and congratulations may
be extended in accepting or declining the
invitation. An entertainment is usually
provided for. Any article of china is appropriate
as a gift.

CHOIR-BOYS AT WEDDINGS. These form a brilliant
addition to a church wedding, and when
employed they meet the bridal party in the
vestibule, and precede them to the altar,
singing a hymn or other appropriate selection.

CHRISTENING.

DRESS. The mother wears an elaborate reception
gown to the church, with white gloves and
a light hat or bonnet.

If the ceremony is at the house, she can
wear an elaborate tea-gown.

The guests wear afternoon or evening
dress, according whether the ceremony comes
before or after 6 P.M.

FLOWERS. A christening ceremony offers a good
opportunity for the guests who desire to
present flowers to the mother. This is not
obligatory, however, and must remain a
matter of personal taste.

GIFTS. A christening ceremony offers a good
opportunity for the invited guests, if they
desire, to send a present to the baby.

These should be sent a day or two before
the ceremony, and if of silver should be
marked with the child's name, initials, or
monogram.

GUESTS. The invitations should be promptly
answered.

At a church ceremony the guests, as they
are few in number, assemble in the front
pews.

At a large house christening the affair is
conducted somewhat like an afternoon reception.
Wine is drunk to the child's health,
and the guests take leave of the hostess.

INVITATIONS are issued by the wife only to intimate
friends, and should be promptly answered.

If the christening is made a formal entertainment,
to take place in the drawing-room,
the invitations may be engraved.

MEN. If the ceremony is in the afternoon they
wear afternoon dress, but at an evening
affair evening dress.

At an afternoon ceremony in the summer
it is allowable for the men to wear straw
hats and light flannel suits.

At a large house christening the affair
should be conducted somewhat like a reception,
and men on departing should take leave
of the hostess.

WOMEN dress as they would for an afternoon reception
if the ceremony comes in the afternoon, and if it comes
after breakfast or luncheon, as they would for a breakfast
or luncheon.

At a large house christening the affair
should be conducted like a reception, and
women should take leave of the hostess on
their departure.

CHURCH. A man usually follows the woman, who
leads to the pew, and he enters after her,
closing the door as he does so.

He should find the places in the service
book for her.

This same courtesy he should extend to a
woman who is a stranger to him.

CLERGYMAN.

CHRISTENING FEES. It is customary to send a
fee to the officiating clergyman, unless he is
a relative or a near friend.

EVENING DRESS. Custom permits a clergyman
to wear his clerical dress at all functions at
which other men wear evening dress; or,
if he wishes, he may also wear the regulation
full dress. The wearing of either is a matter
of taste.

HOW ADDRESSED. All mail and correspondence
should be addressed to Rev. Mr. Smith, but
in conversation a clergyman should be addressed
as Mr. Smith. If he has received the degree of D.D.
(Doctor of Divinity)from some educational institution,
then he is addressed as Dr. Smith, and his mail should
be addressed as Rev. Dr. Smith.

WEDDING CEREMONY. The officiating clergyman (minister or priest)
is selected by the bride, who usually chooses
her family minister, and the latter is then called
upon by the groom with regard to the details. If a
very intimate friend or relative of the groom is a
clergyman, it is in good taste for the bride to ask
him either to officiate or to assist.
If from any cause--as, living outside the State--the
clergyman is unable to legally perform the ceremony,
a magistrate should be present to legalize the ceremony,
and should receive a fee.

CARRIAGE. A carriage should be provided by
the groom to take the clergyman to the
church, then to the reception, and thence to
his house.

FEE. A fee should be paid the clergyman by
the groom through the best man, who should
hand it to him immediately after the ceremony.
If two or three clergymen are present
and assist, the fee of the officiating clergyman
is double that of the others. The clergyman
should receive at least five dollars in gold,
clean bills, or check, in a sealed envelope,
or more, in proportion to the groom's financial
condition and social position.

WEDDING RECEPTION. The clergyman should
always be invited to the reception.

CLUB.

ADDRESS. If residing at a club, a man's visiting-
card should have his club's name in the lower
right-hand corner; if not, the name should
be put in lower left-hand corner.

STATIONERY. This is always in good form for
social correspondence by men.

COACHING. See DRIVING.

COACHMAN-TIPS. It is customary when a guest
leaves a house party after a visit to give the
coachman a tip.

COLLEGE DEGREES. Custom, good taste, and the fitness
of things forbid a college man having engraved,
on his visiting-card, his college degrees--as,
A.B., A.M., etc.

COMMERCE, Secretary of--How Addressed. An official
letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have, sir,
the honor to remain your most obedient servant.
A social letter begins: My dear Mr. Wilson,
and ends: I have the honor to remain most sincerely
yours.
The address on the envelope is: Hon. John
J. Wilson, Secretary of Commerce.

COMMITTEES-PUBLIC BALLS. Public balls are conducted
like private ones, and the etiquette is the
same for the guests. The difference in their
management is that, in place of a hostess, her
functions and duties are filled by committees
selected by the organization giving the ball.

CONCLUSION OF A LETTER. The standard conclusions of
letters are: I remain sincerely yours, or; Believe
me faithfully yours.

For business correspondence the standard
conclusions are: Yours truly, or; Very truly yours.

For relatives and dear friends the standard
forms are: Affectionately yours, or; Devotedly yours.

One should avoid signing a letter with only initials,
Christian name, surnames, or diminutives.

MEN. In writing formally on business to a
woman he knows slightly, a man could say:
I am respectfully yours. When not on business
he could write: I beg to remain yours to command.

He should avoid a signature like: J. Jones
Wilson, but write: James J. Wilson

WOMEN. In social correspondence a married woman should
sign: Minnie Wilson, and not: Mrs. John Wilson.
If she wants to make known in a business letter
the fact of her being married, and may not know
if the person addressed knows the fact, she may write:
Minnie Wilson
(Mrs. John Wilson)
An unmarried woman would sign her name as:
Minnie Wilson, and if wishing not to be taken
for a widow would sign: Miss Minnie Wilson.

CONDOLENCE.

CALLS. When death occurs in the family of a friend,
one should call in person and make kindly
inquiries for the family and leave a card,
but should not ask to see those in trouble
unless a very near and dear acquaintanceship warrants.

For a very intimate acquaintance, cut flowers
may be left in person or sent, together
with a card, unless the request has been made
to send none.

CARDS. A visiting-card is used with the word
CONDOLENCE written on it, and should be left
in person if possible, but may be sent or
mailed to intimate friends only if accompanied
by a note of apology. If out of town, it
should be sent by mail with letter of condolence.

A MR. and MRS. card may be used at any
time for condolence, except for intimate
friends.

LETTERS. Only the most intimate and dear
friends should send letters of condolence, and
they may send flowers with the note unless
the request has been made to send none.

CONGRATULATIONS.

BIRTH, ANNOUNCEMENT OF. If wishing to
send congratulations after a birth, cards
should be left in person or sent by messenger.
Cut flowers may be sent with the card.

CARDS. A MR. and MRS. card can be used at any
time for congratulations. If left in person,
which is preferable, the card should be accompanied
by a kindly message, and, if sent
by mail or messenger' the word CONGRATULATIONS
should be written on it. Business and professional
men are not required to make personal calls, and
so may send their cards. A Mr. and Mrs. card can
be used for all but near friends.

When a card is left in person, with a message
of congratulations, nothing should be
written thereon.

A man may mail his card to a woman engaged
to be married, if acquaintance warrants
the action.

Congratulations upon the birth of a child
may be expressed by a man to its father by
sending a card with the word Congratulations
written on it, or by leaving it in
person.

A card should be mailed to a man engaged
to be married.

WEDDINGS. Congratulations may be sent with
letter of acceptance or declination to a wedding
to those sending the invitations. And
if acquaintance with bride and groom warrant,
a note of congratulations may be sent to
them also.

Guests in personal conversation with the
latter give best wishes to the bride and
congratulations to the groom.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES. In accepting or
declining invitations to wedding anniversaries,
congratulations may be extended.

CONVERSATION AT DINNERS. Aim at bright and general
conversation, avoiding all personalities and
any subject that all cannot join in. This
is largely determined by the character of the
company. The guests should accommodate
themselves to their surroundings.

COOKS-TIPS. It is customary for men who have
been guests at a house party when they
leave to remember the cook by sending her
a tip.

CORN ON THE COB is eaten with the fingers of one hand.
A good plan is to cut off the kernels and eat
them with the aid of a fork.

CORNER OF CARD TURNED DOWN. This is no longer
done by persons when calling and leaving
cards.

CORRESPONDENCE. How to address official and social
letters. See under title of person addressed
--as, ARCHBISHOP, etc.

COSTUME BALLS.--INVITATIONS. Invitations are similar
to invitations to balls, except that they have
in place of DANCING in the lower left-hand
corner. COSTUME OF THE XVIIIth CENTURY, BAL
MASQUE, OR BAL POUDRE.

COTILLIONS. Germans are less formal than balls.
Supper precedes the dancing. Those who
do not dance or enjoy it can leave before
that time.

The etiquette is the same as for balls.

DRESS. The regulation evening dress is worn.

HOSTESS. The rules governing a hostess when
giving a ball are the same for a cotillion,
with this addition--that there should be an
even number of men and women, and, failing
this, more men than women.

It is for the hostess to choose the leader
of the cotillion, and to him are entrusted all
its details.

At the conclusion of the cotillion the hostess
stands at the door with the leader at
her side, to receive the greetings and the compliments
of the guests.

See also BALLS--HOSTESS.

INVITATIONS. The invitations are engraved, and the
hour for beginning is placed in the lower
left-hand corner, and are sent out two weeks
in advance. They may be sent in one envelope.

Such invitations should be promptly accepted
or declined.

COTILIONS BY SUBSCRIPTIONS. These are given by leading
society women, who subscribe to a fund
sufficient to pay all expenses of the
entertainment. They are usually held in some
fashionable resort where suitable
accommodations can be had.

Guests are shown to the cloak-room, where
attendants check their wraps.

After the supper, the German, or cotillion,
begins. Those not dancing in this generally
retire. When leaving, guests should take
leave especially of the patroness inviting
them.

DRESS. Full dress is worn by all.

INVITATIONS. The patronesses whose names appear
on the back of the cards are the subscribers.
They send out the invitations to
their friends. A presentation card, to be
shown at the door, is sent with the invitation.

MEN. Men wear evening dress.

The men wait upon their partners and
themselves at the table, the waiters assisting,
unless small tables are used, when the
patronesses sit by themselves, and others form
groups as they like. The guests are served
by the waiters, as at a dinner.

When retiring, guests should take leave
especially of the patroness inviting them.

PATRONESSES. The patronesses stand in line to
receive the guests, bowing or shaking hands
as they prefer.

When supper is announced, the leading
patroness leads the way with her escort, the
others following. If small tables are used,
the patronesses sit by themselves.

WOMEN. Women wear full dress.

When guests depart, they should take
leave especially of the patroness inviting
them.

COUNTESS--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins:
Madam, and ends: I have the honor to
remain your Ladyship's most obedient servant.
The address on the envelope is: To the
Right Honorable The Countess of Kent.

A social letter begins: Dear Lady Kent,
and ends: Believe me, dear Lady Kent,
sincerely yours.

The address is: To the Countess of Kent.

COUNTRY CALLS. The usual rule in calling is for the
residents to call first upon the temporary
cottage people, and between these latter the
early comers call first upon those coming
later.

In the city there is no necessity for
neighbors to call upon each other.

CRACKERS should be broken into small pieces and
eaten with the fingers.

CRESTS. If men and women wish, these may be
stamped in the latest fashionable colors on
their stationery. It is not customary to use
a crest and a stamped address on the same
paper.

The present fashion in crests is that they
should be of small size.

It is not usual to stamp the crest on the
flap of the envelope.

If sealing-wax is used, some dull color
should be chosen.

A person should avoid all individual
eccentricities and oddities in stamping, such
as facsimile autographs, etc.

CRYSTAL WEDDINGS. This anniversary comes after
fifteen years of married life, and the
invitations may bear the words: No presents
received, and on their acceptance or declination,
congratulations may be extended. An
entertainment should be provided for. Any
article of crystal or glass is appropriate as a
gift.

DANCES.

CARRIAGES. A man should secure his carriage-check
when leaving his carriage. It is safer
to take wraps and coats to the house in case
of accidents.

When taking a woman wearing evening
dress to a ball or dance, a man should
provide a carriage.

DEBUTANTE. See DANCES--WOMEN--DEBUTANTE.

DRESS. Evening dress is worn by men and
women.

DINNER INVITATIONS. The hostess issues two
sets of invitations--one for those invited to
both dinner and dance, and one for those
invited to the dance only.

For the former, the hostess should use her
usual engraved dinner cards, with the written
words: Dancing at eleven, and for the latter
her usual engraved At Home cards, with the
written words: Dancing at eleven.

A less formal way is to use, instead of
the At Home card, a Mr. and Mrs. card,
or Mrs. And Miss card, with the following
written in the lower left-hand corner:
Dancing at ten. March the second. R. S. V. P.

INVITATIONS. These should be acknowledged
by an acceptance, or declined, with a note of
regret within one week.

MEN. ASKING A WOMAN TO DANCE. A man
asks for the privilege of a dance, either with
the daughter of the hostess or with any guest
of the latter or any young woman receiving
with her.

On being introduced to a woman, he may
ask her for a dance, and he should be prompt
in keeping his appointment.

It is her privilege to end the dance, and,
when it is ended, he should conduct her to
her chaperone, or, failing that, he should find
her a seat--after which he is at perfect liberty
to go elsewhere.

If for any cause a man has to break his
engagements to dance, he should personally
explain the matter to every woman with
whom he has an engagement and make a
suitable apology.

DEBUTANTE. At a debutante's reception the
first partner is selected by the mother, usually
the nearest and dearest friend, who
dances but once, and the others follow.

INVITATIONS. Invitations to balls or assemblies
should be answered immediately; if declined,
the ticket should be returned. A man should
call or leave cards a few days before the
affair.

SUPPER. At balls and assemblies where small
tables are provided, a man should not sit
alone with his partner, but make up a party
in advance, and keep together.

If a patroness asks a man to sit at her
table, she should provide a partner for him.

At supper the senior patroness leads the
way, escorted by the man honored for the
occasion.

If one large table is provided, the men,
assisted by the waiters, serve the women.
When small tables are used the patronesses
generally sit by themselves, and the
guests group themselves to their own satisfaction.

TRONESSES. Their duties are varied and
responsible--among them, the subscription to
the expenses of the entertainments.

The patronesses should be divided into
various committees to attend to special duties
--as, music, caterers, supper arrangements,
the ball-room, and all other details.

While affairs of this kind could be left in
the hands of those employed to carry out the
details, it is better and safer for each committee
to follow the various matters out to the
smallest details.

Those devising new features and surprises
for such an occasion will give the most successful ball.

The one most active and having the best
business ability should take the lead.

Lists should be compared, in order to avoid
duplicate invitations.

The tickets should be divided among the
patronesses, who, in turn, distribute them
among their friends.

The patronesses should be at the ball-room
in ample time before the arrival of the guests,
to see that all is in readiness.

They should stand together beside the entrance
to welcome the guests. They should
see, as far as possible, that the proper introductions
are made, and that every one is enjoying
the evening, their own pleasure coming last.

If time permits, a hasty introduction to
the patroness beside her may be made by a
patroness, but it should not be done if there
is the slightest possibility of blocking up the
entrance.

A nod of recognition here and there, or a
shake of the hands with some particular
friend, is all that is necessary. Prolonged
conversation should be avoided.

A patroness should not worry over the
affair, or leave anything to be done at the last
minute. If she has to worry, she should
not show it, lest she interfere with the pleasure
of others.

They should be the last to leave as well as
the first to arrive, to see that the affair closes
brilliantly.

SUPPER. The senior patroness leads the way
to supper, escorted by the man honored for
the occasion.

If one large table is provided, the men,
assisted by the waiters, serve the women.
When small tables are used, the patronesses
generally sit by themselves, and the guests
group themselves to their own satisfaction.

If a patroness asks a man to sit at her
table, she should provide a partner for him,
and in case of a previous engagement, he
should notify her by mail.

WOMEN. A woman should always keep any engagement made,
if possible. If, for a good
reason, it is desired to break one, she should
do so in ample time to enable the man to
secure a partner.

It is bad form to refuse one partner for a
dance and to accept another for the same
dance afterward. After refusing to dance, a
woman should lose that dance unless previously engaged.

A woman may refuse to dance at a public
entertainment.

A young woman chaperoned should not accept a man's invitation,
unless he first asks
permission of her chaperone.

It is not good taste to keep late hours at an
informal dance.

In round dances the man supports the
woman with his right arm around the waist,
taking care not to hold her too closely. Her
right hand is extended, held by his left hand,
and her left hand is on his arm or shoulder,
her head erect.

When tired, the woman should indicate a
desire to stop dancing.

When the dancing ends, the woman takes
her partner's arm and strolls about a few minutes.
He then conducts her to her seat by
her chaperone, and, after a few remarks, excuses himself.