Chapter III: Part 3

When supper is announced, and the young
woman and her chaperone are in conversation
with the man who danced with her last, they
should accept his offer as escort if they are
not already provided with one.

If a woman is without escort when supper
is announced, she must rely upon attendants
or members of the host's family.

At balls and assemblies where small tables
are provided for the supper, the woman should
not sit alone at a table with her partner, but
she should have others present also.

DEBUTANTE. At a debutante's reception the
first partner is selected by the mother, usually
the nearest and dearest friend, who dances
but once with her, and the others follow.

DANCES (FORMAL).

HOST. When supper is announced, the host
leads the way with his partner, followed by
hostess and escort, the rest following.

HOSTESS. She should limit the number of guests
to the capacity of the house.

Invitations should include more men than
women, for some men may not attend, and
of those who do come, some may not
dance.

An awning and carpet should be spread
from curb to steps. The man stationed at
the curb should open carriage doors for
arriving and departing guests, distribute carriage-
checks, and tell the drivers at what
hour to return.

The servant opening the door directs the
guests to their respective dressing-rooms.

A small orchestra should be provided and
concealed behind palms or flowers.

In the absence of polished floors, carpets
should be covered with linen crash, tightly
and securely laid, in order to stand the strain
of dancing.

Friends may assist in taking care of the
guests, making introductions, etc.

SUPPER. Supper may be served at one large
table or many small ones, as desired.

DANCES (INFORMAL). Dances of this character lack all
possible formality. The invitations may be
written or verbal.

Piano music is all that is required, played
by one of the family or a professional.

Refreshments of a suitable nature are provided.

See also Chaperone. Dances.

DANCING.

INTRODUCTIONS. The man must be introduced
to the woman, and should ask her for the
pleasure of a dance.

MEN. A man should greet the host as soon as
possible after seeing the hostess.

At any function where patronesses are
present, a man should bow to the one inviting him,
and give her a few words of greeting.

At balls all men should dance, and those
who do not, have no place there, though
invited.

If a man comes alone and has no partner,
he should seek hostess or assistants, and request
an introduction to women who dance.

After a dance a man should take a short
stroll about the room with his partner before
returning to her chaperone. Before retiring
he may converse with her in general terms,
from which he should have refrained previously.

A man escorting one or more women
should see that they are cared for when supper
is announced.

A man in conversation with a woman when
supper is announced, if she is not engaged,
may offer to take her into supper. Her
chaperone should be invited at the same
time.

Introductions should be made as much as
possible before the dancing begins.

If introduced to a young woman, and she
is free of engagement for the next dance, the
man should invite her to dance.

Before asking a chaperoned woman to
dance, the man should ask permission of her
chaperone.

A man should pay especial attention to the
women of the house, and invite them to
dance as early as possible.

A man should seek out those women who,
for some reason, are neglected by selfish
men, especially unmarried women, and invite
them to dance.

Men should keep engagements a few minutes
before each dance.

If for some good reason it is desired to
break an engagement, it should be done so
as to leave ample time for the other to secure
a partner for that dance.

In round dances, the man supports the
woman with right arm about her waist, taking
care not to hold her too closely. His left
hand holds her right one, both extended.

The woman should indicate when she desires
to stop dancing.

All persons should be at a formal dance
not later than half an hour after the hour set.

A man should secure his carriage-check.
It is safer to take wraps and coats to the
house in case of accidents.

GLOVES. Gloves should be worn at formal
dances, and should be put on before entering
the room.

SHAKING HANDS. It is not customary to shake
hands at formal dances.

SMOKING. Smoking should not be allowed in
the dressing-room, but a special room should
be provided. Men who dance should not
smoke until leaving the house.

WOMEN. The time for the formal dance is indicated
on the invitation, and all should be
there not later than half an hour after the
time set.

At private dances the maid takes and calls
for the young woman in the absence of a male
escort.

Young women should be chaperoned at all
formal dances by their mother or others.

Introductions should be made as much as
possible before the dancing begins.

DAUGHTERS.

CARDS. The card of the eldest daughter in
society is simply Miss Wilson, and upon her
death or marriage the card of the next
daughter becomes the same. Where there
are unmarried aunts and cousins having the
father's name, only the eldest daughter of
the eldest man can use the form Miss Wilson.

If two or more sisters enter society at
about the same time, their names may appear
on their mother's card as The Misses Wilson.

The name of the younger daughter should
appear in full on her mother's card--as, Miss
Mary Jane Wilson.

Until the younger daughter has formally,
made her debut, she visits only intimate
friends of the family. After her debut she
has no card, and her full baptismal name
appears on her mother's card, beneath her
name, and not until a year or two after her
first appearance does she have a card of her
own.

When a mother leaves her daughter's card,
it is for the hostess only.

If reception days appear on the mother's
card, the daughters also receive on that day,
as they have no reception date of their
own.

After an entertainment the cards of the
family may be left for the host and hostess
by the eldest daughter.

The eldest daughter has her own circle of
acquaintances, and can visit and receive independently
of her mother.

DUTIES AT BALLS. See BALLS--DUTIES OF
DAUGHTERS.

DAUGHTER OF BARON--HOW ADDRESSED. An official
letter begins: Madam, and ends: I have the
honor to remain, Madam, your obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Miss Wilson,
and ends: Believe me, I remain sincerely yours.

The envelope addressed to the eldest
daughter reads: To the Honorable Miss Wilson,
but to a younger daughter: To the
Honorable Minnie Wilson.

DAUGHTER OF DUKE--HOW ADDRESSED. An official
letter begins: Madam, and ends: I have the
honor to remain your Ladyship's most obedient
servant.

The address on the envelope is: To the
Right Honorable the Lady Jane F. Wilson.

A social letter begins: Dear Lady Jane,
and ends: Believe me, dear Lady Jane, very
faithfully yours.

The address is: To the Lady Jane F. Wilson.

DAUGHTERS OF EARL--HOW ADDRESSED. An official
letter begins: Madam, and ends: I have the
honor to remain your Ladyship's most obedient
servant.

The address on the envelope is: To the
Right Honorable the Lady Jane F. Wilson.

A social letter begins: Dear Lady Jane,
and ends: Believe me, dear Lady Jane, very
faithfully yours.

The address is: To the Lady Jane F.
Wilson.

DAUGHTER OF MARQUIS--HOW ADDRESSED. An official
letter begins: Madam, and ends: I have the
honor to remain your Ladyship's most obedient
servant.

The address on the envelope is: To the
Right Honorable the Lady Jane F. Wilson.

A social letter begins: Dear Lady Jane,
and ends: Believe me, dear Lady Jane, very
faithfully yours.

The address is: To the Lady Jane F.
Wilson.

DAUGHTER OF VISCOUNT--HOW ADDRESSED. An official
letter begins: Madam, and ends: I have the
honor to remain, madam, your obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Miss Wilson,
and ends: Believe me, Miss Wilson, sincerely
yours.

The envelope addressed to the eldest
daughter would read: To the Honorable Miss
Wilson, but to a younger daughter: To the
Honorable Minnie Wilson.

DAYS AT HOME. Only very intimate persons should
call on any other days than those named on
an At Home card.

DAY OF WEDDING. The wedding-day is named by
the bride, and her mother's approval is asked
by the groom.

DEATH IN THE FAMILY. Cards, writing-paper, and envelopes
should be bordered in black. The
announcement of the death may be printed
or engraved, preferably the latter. Full
name of deceased, together with date of
birth and death, and residence, should be
given.

The frequenting of places of amusements,
entertainments, or social functions should
not be indulged in for at least a year if in
mourning for near relatives.

CONDOLENCE. After a death in the family of an
acquaintance, a card with the word Condolence
written on it should be left in person
or by messenger. For very intimate acquaintances,
cut flowers may be left in person
or sent, together with a card or letter, unless
request has been made not to do so.

DEBUTANTE. A debutante should make her debut between
the ages of seventeen and twenty, and
should not appear at any public function before
her debut. She should be thoroughly
versed in the laws of good society. She
should be extremely cautious at all times in
her dealings with men. She should follow,
without reserve, the advice of mother or
chaperone. She should avoid forwardness,
and be quiet in manner and in speech. Men
acquaintances should be carefully chosen, and
great care exercised in accepting invitations
from them.

AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL). When a tea is
given in honor of a debutante, she stands beside
the hostess (usually her mother), and
each guest is introduced to her. Flowers
should be liberally provided, and friends may
contribute on such an occasion.

A debutante should not make any
formal visits alone the first year, and should
not receive men visitors unless her chaperone
is present. Should a man call during
the first season, and neither her mother
nor her chaperone be present, she should decline
the visit. She may make and receive
visitors alone the second season.

When calling upon a debutante, men and
women should leave cards for her and her
mother.

CARDS. A debutante should use her mother's
card with her name engraved under her
mother's, but after a season she uses her own
card. Personal cards should not be used
during the first season. If she is the eldest
unmarried daughter, her name is engraved
(as, Miss A--) beneath her mother's name,
but if there are other sisters, with the initials
(as, Miss A. A--).

The cards of a debutante may be sent by
mail or messenger.

DANCES. A debutante always receives with her
mother standing by her side. A good order
is for the mother to stand nearest the door,
the debutante next, and the father last.

It is a good plan for the debutante to ask
a few of her girl friends to stand beside her
the first half hour.

The mother should introduce guests to her
daughter, who may introduce them to her
friends.

The debutante shakes hands with each one
introduced to her. She dances every dance,
and at the end stands beside her mother to
receive the greetings of the guests.

The girls standing up with the debutante
after the first hour are free to dance and enjoy
themselves as they please without standing
in line again.

MEN. Her mother should select in advance the
man who is to have the pleasure of the first
dance with the debutante at her debut. No
man should dance more than once with the
debutante. If well acquainted with the
family, a man may send flowers to a debutante
at the time of her first debut. A man
should make a formal call on mother and
daughter a day or two after her debut, and,
if unable to do so, he should send a card.

DEBUT. When her mother receives visits after
her debut, the daughter is included, and
should be present. The mother should keep
a complete record of the visits made by entering
the cards in a book kept for that purpose.

FLOWERS. Friends should send flowers to a debutante
at a formal tea given in her honor.

MEN. When calling upon a debutante, a man
should leave cards for her and her mother,
whether the entertainment was attended or
not.

See also DEBUTS.

DEBUTS. A debut may be made at a dinner,
reception, or ball. The debutante's card
should be enclosed with the invitation, reading:
Miss Wilson; or, if a younger daughter,
Miss Minnie Wilson. For an "At
Home" debut, the least formal of all these
entertainments, the name of the debutante is
engraved below that of her mother.

The mother and elder unmarried sisters
prior to the debut should call formally upon
those whom they wish to invite to the ceremony.
Cards of the family are left, including
those of father and brothers.

BALLS--INVITATIONS. When a young woman is
to be introduced into society by a ball given
in her honor, the parents may use a Mr. and
Mrs. calling card, with the words added in
writing: Dancing at ten o'clock, with card of
the debutante enclosed.

Or the parents may use a specially engraved
invitation.

CARDS, LEAVING. At the entertainments at a
debut, as at a supper, cards should be left for
the mother and daughter, and if guests are
unable to be present, they should send them
the day of the entertainment.

ENTERTAINMENTS. Debuts may be an "At
Home," supper, or dinner, the latter being
more formal, and only intimate friends being
invited. When making her debut, the debutante
should stand beside her mother in the
drawing-room, near the door, and be introduced
by her. On formal occasions the
father stands with them. The debutante
may receive flowers from intimate friends
only.

AT HOMES. These are the least formal.

SUPPERS OR DINNERS. If the debut takes the
form of a supper or dinner, the brother takes
in the debutante, and the father the most
distinguished woman; or, if there is no
brother, he takes in the debutante himself,
and she is seated at his left hand. The
mother is escorted by the most distinguished
man.

Should dancing follow, the mother should
select the first partner, who dances but once,
when others are at liberty to follow.

GUESTS. Guests should offer congratulations to
a debutante at her debut in a few well-chosen
words, and also to the parents. A few
moments of conversation with her only is admissible.

INVITATIONS. Invitations are engraved, and
should be sent by mail or messenger two
weeks in advance, addressed to Mr. and Mrs.
A, or Mrs. B, or The Misses A. While the
invitations to a family may be enclosed in
one envelope and sent to the principal one
of the family, the son of the family should
receive a separate invitation. Men should
receive separate invitations and acknowledge
them, in person.

Acknowledgment is mot necessary for an
"At Home" debut occurring in the afternoon,
but would be for a formal one in the
evening, for which special engraved invitations
had been sent.

If invitations for an afternoon "At Home"
reception are accepted, cards should be left
for mother and daughter. And, if not attending,
cards should be sent by mail or
messenger.

DIAMOND WEDDINGS. These occur after seventy-
five years of married life, and naturally are
of very rare occurrence. If they are celebrated,
the invitation may bear the words:
NO PRESENTS RECEIVED, and congratulations
may be extended in accepting or declining
the invitation. An entertainment should be
provided for. Any article of diamonds or
precious stones is appropriate as a gift.

DINNERS. If the circle of acquaintances is large,
a series of dinners is necessary during the
season.

Dinners should begin at an hour between
seven-thirty and eight-thirty.

The dining-room should be bright and
attractive, well lighted, and artistically decorated
with flowers.

The success of a dinner lies in the selection
of the guests, with regard to their
congeniality to each other, and their conversational
powers and varying attainments. It
is better to have a few at a time, perhaps
eight, as a larger number is unmanageable.

CALLS. Guests should call soon after the dinner.

DRESS. Full dress is worn by both men and
women.

GUESTS. When guests are not congenial, or have
dislikes, they should not show it, but appear
as if the contrary were the case.

Guests should be prompt in arriving at the
hour named.

At the table it is in good taste to accept
whatever is offered, eating it or not, as one
desires. Wines should be accepted, even if
one does not partake of them. And if a toast
is offered, a guest should recognize the courtesy
by raising his glass.

Conversing across the table is permissible,
provided the distance does not require the
voice to be unduly raised.

When coffee is served in the drawing-room,
young women serve, and the men hand it to
the guests.

When the men re-enter the drawing-room
after the coffee, the guests should retire,
unless some further entertainment follows.
This is usually about eleven o'clock. When
leaving, a guest should thank the host and
hostess, making some agreeable and appropriate
remark suitable to the occasion.

HOST. When dinner is announced, the host
offers his left arm to the woman he escorts.
She may be the special invited guest, or the
most prominent guest present.

The signal for all to rise is given by the
hostess, who bows to the woman on the host's
right. The men escort the women to the
door or drawing-room, after which they return,
and cigars and liquors are offered.

The host wears full dress.

GUEST LATE. The host should always come
forward to shake hands with the late-comer,
and help him to find his seat, and do all in
his power to make his late-coming quickly
overlooked.

HOSTESS. The hostess receives her guest at the
parlor entrance.

At table the guests should remain standing
until all have found their places, when the
host and hostess seat themselves, after which
the others follow. The men should assist the
women they escort before taking their own
seats.

At an informal dinner a hostess should introduce
a man to the woman he is to escort
to dinner, informing him whether he is to sit
on the right or left hand of the host.

When the dinner is announced the host
with his escort leads the way, followed by the
guests, and the hostess and her escort come
last.

GUEST LATE. The hostess should always bow
and shake hands with a guest arriving late,
but does not rise unless the guest is a woman.

HOURS. Dinners begin from 7 to 8 P.M., and
usually last from one hour to an hour and a
half.

INTRODUCTIONS. If a man is not acquainted with
the woman assigned to him, the hostess
should introduce him to the woman.

INVITATIONS. These should be acknowledged
immediately by a letter of acceptance, or declining
with regret.

The invitations are given in the name of
husband and wife, and should be sent out
two or four weeks in advance. R. S. V. P.
is not used, and they should be answered
immediately.

Invitations to a dinner in honor of a special
guest are engraved, and state this fact. If
for good reasons there is not sufficient time
to engrave, an ordinary invitation may be
used, and a visiting-card enclosed, upon which
is written: To meet Miss Wilson.

For ceremonious dinners, cards may be engraved,
with place for guest's name left blank
and filled in by hand.

When frequent dinners are given, invitations
may be engraved, with blanks to be
filled with dates, etc.

Written invitations are also proper to indicate
an unceremonious dinner. Note sheets
can be used.

HUSBAND AND WIFE. Both the husband and
wife should always be invited to a dinner.

When a husband and wife are invited to
dinner, and the former does not accept, the
wife should decline, giving her reason. The
hostess can then invite the wife only, who
may accept.

MEN. Full dress is necessary for all except informal
dinners.

The man at the door, after asking the
guest's name, hands him an envelope, with
his name upon it, enclosing a card with the
name of the woman he is to escort to dinner;
or these envelopes may be in the dressing-
rooms, if preferred. It will also be designated
at which side of the table (right or
left) a man is to sit; or a diagram of the
table, with the names of the guests, should
be hung in each dressing-room. The guests
pair off as indicated.

As soon as possible a man should seek the
woman assigned to him, and inform her that
he will be pleased to act as her escort, disguising
any personal preference he may have
otherwise.

He should offer his left arm when escorting
her to dinner.

When the dinner is announced, the host
leads the way with the woman he escorts,
and the rest follow. To avoid confusion, a
man should remember on which side of the
table he is to sit, his place being indicated by
a dinner card.

If unacquainted with the woman a man is
to escort to dinner, he should seek an introduction
from the hostess.

When the women rise to leave, the men
rise and remain standing until the women
leave the dining-room, or they may accompany
them to the drawing-room, and then
return for coffee and cigars. They should
not remain longer than half an hour.

LEAVING CARDS. After a dinner a man should
leave a card for host and hostess, whether
the invitation was accepted or not; or it
may be sent by mail or messenger, with an
apology for so doing.

PRECEDENCE. The host offers his right arm to
the woman who is the guest, or the most distinguished
woman, or the eldest, or the one
invited for the first time. If the dinner is
given in honor of a married couple, the host
would take in the wife, and the husband
would accompany the hostess, who comes
last in the procession into the dining-room.

It is a fixed rule that relatives, or husbands
and wives, are never seated together.

If possible, there should be an equal number
of men and women, and if the latter outnumber
the former, the hostess enters alone.

SECOND HELPING. At formal dinner parties,
luncheons, and breakfasts, second helpings
are never offered by the host or hostess, and
should not be asked for by the guests. This
is only permissible at a small dinner party
or at the daily family meal.

Of course, this does not apply to a second
glass of water for which the guest might ask,
or for wine, for which the butler should keep
a good lookout.

TABLE ETIQUETTE. See TABLE ETIQUETTE.

WOMEN. When wraps have been removed, and
the woman leaves the dressing-room, the escort
chosen by the hostess approaches and makes
known the fact, accompanying her to the
table. If the escort is not thoroughly agreeable
to the woman, she should conceal the
fact.

At the conclusion of a dinner the hostess rises
and the women follow, leaving their napkins
unfolded. They retire to the drawing-room,
while the men remain for coffee and cigars.
If the men prefer, they may escort them to
the drawing-room, where they bow and return.

GLOVES. Women may remove their gloves at
table, and it is not necessary to replace them.
They should be laid in the lap. The hostess
generally determines whether the women
should resume their gloves or not by her own
actions.

Full dress is worn.

GIVEN BY MEN--WOMEN. A young woman may
accept a man's invitation, provided she has
the consent of her mother or guardian, and
is assured that there will be present a chaperone.

GIVEN BY BACHELORS. See BACHELORS' DINNERS.

DINNER DANCE.

INVITATIONS. The hostess issues two sets of
invitations--one for those invited to both the
dinner and the dance, and one for those invited
to the dance only.

For the former she could use her usual
engraved dinner cards with the words: Dancing
at eleven, and for the latter her usual
engraved At Home cards with the words:
Dancing at eleven.

A less formal way for the latter invitation
is to use the Mr. and Mrs. card or Mrs. and
Miss card, and to write on it in the lower left
hand corner: Dancing at ten, February the
tenth.

DOCTOR--HOW ADDRESSED. A doctor or physician
should be addressed as Dr. both by correspondence
and in conversation.

This title of Dr. must not be confounded
with the honorary degree of Doctor of Divinity,
conferred upon clergymen by educational
institutions, and the degree of Doctor of
Philosophy, conferred upon college professors
after certain conditions of study have been
complied with.

DOWAGER DUCHESS. See DUCHESS, DOWAGER.

DOWAGER MARCHIONESS. See MARCHIONESS, DOWAGER.

DRESS.

AFTERNOON. See AFTERNOON--DRESS.

AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS--DRESS.

AT HOMES. See AT HOMES--DRESS.

BACHELORS' DINNERS. See BACHELOR'S DINNERS--
DRESS.

BACHELORS' TEAS. See BACHELOR'S TEAS--DRESS.

BALLS. See BALLS--DRESS.

BREAKFASTS. See BREAKFASTS--DRESS.

CHRISTENINGS. See CHRISTENING--DRESS.

COTILLIONS. See COTILLIONS--DRESS.

COTILLIONS BY SUBSCRIPTIONS. See COTILLIONS
BY SUBSCRIPTIONS--DRESS.

DANCES. See DANCES--DRESS.

DINNERS. See DINNERS--DRESS.

EVENING. See EVENING DRESS.

GARDEN PARTIES. See GARDEN PARTIES--DRESS.

HIGH TEAS. See HIGH TEAS--DRESS.

HOUSE PARTIES. See HOUSE PARTIES--DRESS.

LUNCHEONS. See LUNCHEONS--DRESS.

MATINEES. See MATINEES--DRESS.

MUSICALES. See MUSICALES--DRESS.

THEATRES. See THEATRES--DRESS.

WEDDINGS. See WEDDINGS--DRESS.

DRESS--MEN AND WOMEN. For particulars as to dress
at different functions, see each entertainment
--as, Balls, Dinners, At Homes, Theatres,
Breakfasts, etc.

DRESS--WOMEN.

BRIDE. See BRIDE--DRESS.

BRIDESMAIDS. See BRIDESMAIDS--DRESS.

CALLS. See CALLS--WOMEN--DRESS.

FUNERALS. See FUNERALS--WOMEN--DRESS.

MAID OF HONOR. See MAID OF HONOR--DRESS.

MOURNING. See MOURNING--DRESS, WOMEN.

DRESSING-ROOMS. At all entertainments,
dressing-rooms should be provided for both
the men and for the women, with suitable
attendants, where all outer wraps, coats, over-
shoes, etc., should be left.

DRIVING

MEN. When driving with a woman, a man should
be careful that the carriage is well drawn up
to the steps, and that she be given time in
which to comfortably seat herself before he
begins to drive.

A man when driving with a woman should
refrain from asking her permission to smoke,
and, of course, would never do so without her
permission.

He should be careful to lift his hat as if he
were on the street, and if this is not possible,
to touch it with the whip in place of a bow.

The host of a coaching party, if he is also
the whip, would give the chaperone the seat
on the box at the left of his, unless he wished
that seat to be occupied by some special young
woman. The person occupying this seat
should always be helped by the host to climb
to her place.

It is customary when the coach is a high
one to seat a woman between two men, and
they would ascend and descend in the order
in which they were seated.

Even if the woman asks a man to drive with
her, he should help her to her seat, and be
ready to step down when a halt is made to
assist her to alight.

It is not customary when a woman has
asked a man to drive with her for her to call
for him at his club or home, but to meet him
at her house.

DRESS. The whip wears a gray suit with a gray
high hat and gray gloves, with a white silk
tie and white linen. But in summer this costume
is often made lighter and more comfortable
to suit the weather, and a straw hat
or panama, with flannel trousers and dark
serge sacque coat, would be in good taste.

There are no hard and fast rules governing
the dress of men when driving.

WOMEN. The etiquette in general is the same
for a woman as for a man.

When a woman asks a man or a male relative
to drive with her, she does not call for
him, but meets him at her door. Even if a
groom is present, he should help her to
mount to her seat, and at the proper time
descend before her and help her to alight.

DUCHESS--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins:
Madam, may it please Your Grace, and ends:
I have the honor to remain your Grace's obedient
servant.

A social letter begins: My Dear Duchess of
Kent, and ends: Believe me, dear Duchess,
yours very truly.

The address on the envelope is: To Her
Grace, The Duchess of Kent.

DUCHESS, DOWAGER--HOW ADDRESSED. An official
letter begins: May it please YOUR Grace, and
ends: I have the honor to remain your Grace's
obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Duchess
Of Kent, and ends: Believe me, dear Duchess,
yours very truly.

The address on the envelope is: To Her
Grace, The Dowager Duchess of Kent, or, To
Her Grace, Minnie, Duchess of Kent.

DUKE--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins:
My Lord Duke, may it please your grace, and
ends: I have the honor to be your grace's most
obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Duke of
Kent, and ends: believe me, dear Duke, your
Grace's very faithfully.

The address on the envelope is: To His
Grace, The Duke of Kent.

DAUGHTER OF. See Daughter of Duke.

WIFE OF YOUNGER SON OF. See Wife of
Younger Son of Duke.

YOUNGER SON OF. See Son (Younger) of Duke.

EARL--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins:
My Lord, and ends: I have the honor to be
your lordship's obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: To the
Right Honorable The Earl Of Kent.

A social letter begins: Dear Lord Kent,
and ends: Believe me my dear Lord Kent,
very sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: To the
Earl of Kent

DAUGHTER OF. See Daughter of Earl.

WIFE OF YOUNGER SON. See Wife of Younger
Son of Earl.

YOUNGER SON OF. See Son (Younger) of Earl.

EGGS are usually broken into a glass and eaten with
a spoon.

ELEVATOR. Men should remove their hats when
riding in an elevator with women, although
it is held by some that an elevator is as much
a public conveyance as a car, and this act of
courtesy as unnecessary in the one place as
in the other. Women enter and leave before
men.

ENGAGEMENT.

MEN It is his duty to see the woman's parents
or guardian, and to make known his
intentions, and to tell them fully and frankly
about himself, his family, his social position,
and business prospects. He should court the
fullest investigation, and take his own family
into his confidence, but not mention it to
others.

PARENTS OF MAN. They should send their
pleasant greetings and congratulations,
accompanied with flowers, and if both families
are old acquaintances, a present may be sent
to the prospective bride.

PARENTS OF WOMAN. The first step is to bring
together both parents in social intercourse--
as, by a dinner given by the man's or woman's
family, when friends may be invited, by
interchange of notes and congratulations, by
any social visit, or by any function that good
taste may dictate.

If one family lives out of town, it may
invite various members of the other family
living in the city to make visits of some
duration, as a week or more. These visits should
be returned.

PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT. This item of news is
rarely published in the papers, but if it is,
the expense is borne by the family of the
woman. The public announcement is usually
made at some social entertainment--as, a
dinner, tea, or an "At Home," given by either
family.

At a formal dinner given by the family of
the woman, the father takes out his daughter
first and her fiance escorts her mother. At
the proper time the father drinks his future
son-in-law's health and announces the
engagement. All rise, and congratulations
follow.

Notes may be written to intimate friends
informing them of the happy event.

WOMEN. A woman should at once confide in
her parents, and trust to their future
guidance and to their making a full investigation
of the man, his social condition, and business
prospects. They should not mention the
matter to others.

Immediately after the engagement, each of
the two parties should be introduced to the
family of the other party. Before the wedding-cards
are issued the woman should leave her
card personally at the homes of her friends,
but without entering. After the wedding-cards
are issued she should not appear at any
social function, or make any personal visits,
or be seen at any place of amusement.

It is not wise for her to call at the place of
business of her fiance, and if a meeting is
necessary, it is better to make an appointment
elsewhere.

RING. The ring is given by the man immediately
after the announcement of the engagement
to the woman, who wears it on the third finger
of her left hand. It should be a small and
unostentatious one. Diamonds, rubies,
moonstones, sapphires, and other precious stones
may be used.

He may ask the woman to aid him in the
selection, but it is better for him to make the
selection alone. The woman may give the
man an engagement ring or a gift if she
wishes.

ENTERTAINMENTS--CALLS AFTER. See CALLS--MEN--AFTER
ENTERTAINMENTS.

ENVELOPES, ADDRESSING. See ADDRESSING ENVELOPES.

ESQUIRE. Either ESQ. or MR. may be used in
addressing a letter, but never the two at the
same time.

EVENING CALLS. When no special day for receiving
is indicated, calls may be made at any proper
hour, according to the custom of the locality.
Men of leisure may call at the fashionable
hours, from two till five o'clock in the
afternoon, while business and professional men
may call between eight and nine in the
evening, as their obligations prevent them from
observing the fashionable hours.

EVENING DRESS.

Men. Evening dress should be worn on all
formal occasions, consisting of the swallow-
tail coat of black material, made in the
prevailing fashion, with waistcoat and trousers
of the same material; or a white vest may
be worn.

The linen must be white. Studs or shirt-
buttons may be worn, according to fashion.
The collar should be high, and the cravat
white. Low patent-leather shoes and white
kid gloves complete the costume.

Evening dress should be worn at all formal
functions after six o'clock--as, balls, dinners,
suppers, receptions, germans, formal
stag parties, theatre, opera, and fashionable
evening calls where women are present.

The phrase, "evening dress," is now used
in place of full dress.

A Tuxedo should never be worn when
women are present.

See also TUXEDO. CLERGYMAN--EVENING
DRESS.

WEDDINGS, EVENING. Full evening dress is
worn by the groom and ushers. Guests are
likewise in evening dress.

CLERGYMAN. Custom permits a clergyman to
wear his clerical dress at all functions where
other men wear evening dress, or he may
wear evening dress.

EVENING RECEPTIONS. The etiquette is the same as
for an afternoon tea (formal), save that no
cards are left by the guests, and that they
wear evening dress.

See AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL).

FACSIMILE CARDS, engraved, are no longer used.

FAMILY OF BRIDE. The family, except the father,
leave the house first, then the bridesmaids,
the maid of honor with the mother, and last
the bride with her father or nearest male
relative. At church the family is seated by the
ushers.

At the conclusion of the ceremony they are
the first to be escorted from their pew and to
take their carriage for the wedding reception
or breakfast.

WEDDING BREAKFAST. The bride's father or
her nearest male relative takes in the groom's
mother, and the bride's mother, as hostess, is
taken in by the groom's father.

WEDDING RECEPTION. The parents of both
bride and groom stand up with the married
couple, and are introduced to the guests.

FAMILY OF GROOM. At the church the family and
relatives of the groom are seated on one side,
while the family of the bride and her
relatives are seated on the other.

WEDDING BREAKFAST. The groom's mother is
taken in by the bride's father, and the groom's
father takes in the bride's mother, who,
acting as hostess, comes last.

WEDDING RECEPTION. The parents of both
bride and groom stand up with the married
couple, and are introduced to the guests.

FAREWELL BACHELOR DINNER. See BACHELOR'S FAREWELL
DINNERS.

FAREWELL BRIDAL LUNCHEON. See BRIDE--FAREWELL
LUNCHEON.

FATHER OF BRIDE.

DEBUTS. When the debut is a formal one, he
stands beside his wife and daughter, and
receives the congratulations of the guests. At
a supper or dinner he escorts the most
distinguished woman. If there is no brother to
escort the debutante, he does so, and she is
seated at his left hand.

DINNER, ENGAGEMENT. At a formal dinner
given by the family of the engaged woman
the father takes out his daughter first and
her fiance escorts her mother. At the proper
time the father drinks to the health of his
future son-in-law, and announces the
engagement. All rise, and congratulations follow.

He wears evening dress.

The father of the bride, or her nearest
male relative, drives to the church with her,
and is there received by the ushers and
bridesmaids, and escorts her in the
procession up the aisle.

After the procession has arrived at the
chancel and the groom comes forward to
take the bride's hand, he steps back a little
way and waits for the clergyman's words:
"Who giveth this woman away?" He
then places the bride's right hand in that of
the clergyman, and retires to his seat in the
pew with his family.

WEDDING BREAKFAST. He takes in the mother
of the groom, following the ushers and the
maids of honor.

WEDDING RECEPTION. He escorts the groom's
mother, and receives with the married couple.

FATHER OF GROOM. At a wedding breakfast he should
take in the mother of the bride, and at a
wedding reception he receives with the bride
and groom.

At a church wedding he is, of course, given
a front seat among those reserved for the
groom's family.

He should wear afternoon dress for an
afternoon wedding, and evening dress at an
evening wedding.

FEES.

CHRISTENING. See CHRISTENING--FEES

WEDDING. The wedding fee, preferably gold or
clean bills in sealed envelope, is given by the
best man to the officiating clergyman. Custom
leaves the amount to the groom, who
should give at least five dollars or more, in
proportion to his income and social position.
The clergyman usually gives the fee to his
wife.

A fee should also be paid to the sexton and
the organist

FIANCE, MOURNING FOR. In the event of the death
of a woman's betrothed shortly before the
date of the wedding, she may wear black for
a short period or full mourning for a year.

FINGER-BOWL. The fingers should be dipped in the
water and gently rubbed together, and dried
on the napkins.

FIRST CALLS. Newcomers and brides are called upon
first.

After a country visit, the visitor should call
first upon the hostess when the latter returns
to town.

Other things being equal, the younger or
unmarried woman calls first upon the older
or married woman.

A woman returning to town before another
one would make the first call.

If one woman issues her AT HOME card
before another, she should receive the first
call.

FISH should be eaten with a fork held in the right
hand and a piece of bread held in the left hand.
The bones should be removed from the
mouth with the aid of a fork or with the
fingers. If by the latter, great delicacy
should be used.

FLOWER GIRL. The flower girls--one or two, as may
be the case--follow the maid of honor up the
isle and strew flowers in the path of the
bride, who follows after.

In the procession down the isle they should
follow the bride.

Flower girls and pages are not used now
as much as formerly.

FLOWERS. Between friends, flowers may be sent as
an expression of sympathy in either joy or
sorrow.

BIRTH, ANNOUNCEMENT OF. If wishing to send
congratulations after a birth, cards should be
left in person or sent by a messenger. Cut
flowers may be sent with the card.

BRIDE. If she wishes, a bride may present flowers
to her bridesmaids, and also to the best
man and ushers.

CHRISTENING. A christening ceremony offers a
good opportunity for the guests who desire
to present flowers to the mother. This is
not obligatory, however, and must remain a
matter of personal taste.

CONDOLENCE CALLS. When making a condolence
call upon a very intimate friend, cut
flowers may be left in person or sent,
together with a card, unless request has been
made to send none.

DEBUTANTE. Friends should send flowers to a
debutante at a formal tea given in her honor.

ENGAGEMENT. Flowers should accompany the
greetings from the parents of the man to the
parents of the woman.

FUNERALS. See FUNERALS--FLOWERS.

GROOM. He pays for the bridal bouquet carried
by the bride at the wedding ceremony, and, if
he wishes, for the bouquets carried by the
bridesmaids.

MEN. If well acquainted with a debutante's
family, a man may send her flowers at the
time of her debut.

After a slightly intimate acquaintance, a
man can present flowers to a young
unmarried woman as a token of sympathy either of
joy or sorrow.

It is not usual for a man to send flowers to
a woman who is a mere acquaintance.

BALLS. It is permissible for a man, if he wishes,
to send flowers to a woman he is to escort to
a ball.

THEATRE OR OPERA. It is permissible, but not
necessary, for a man to send flowers to the
woman he is to take to the theatre or to the
opera.

WEDDING TRIP. The best man should arrange
beforehand all the details of the trip--such as
the tickets, parlor-car, flowers, baggage, etc.

PALL-BEARERS. See PALL-BEARERS--FLOWERS.

FORK AND KNIFE. See KNIFE AND FORK.

FORMAL AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL).

FORMAL DANCES. See DANCES (FORMAL).

FRUIT. All raw fruit, except melons, berries, and
grapefruit, are eaten with the fingers.
Canned fruits are eaten with a spoon.

FULL DRESS. This phrase is now no longer in good
usage, and instead should be used the term:
"Evening Dress," which SEE.

FUNERALS. A member of the family, or very near
relative, should take charge of the ceremony
and direct the undertaker. A large funeral
should be avoided, and the ceremony confined
to the immediate family and nearest relatives,
and, if possible, the service should be at the
church.

All the details of the funeral should be
carefully considered and carried out, with the
ceremony started at the hour set, and with
all appearance of confusion avoided.

It is not now customary to watch by the
dead at night.

Funerals should be private, and only those
intimately interested should be invited.

CARRIAGES. A carriage should always be
provided to call for the clergyman and to take
him from the church or cemetery back to his
house. Carriages should also be provided to
take the friends, mourners, and pall-bearers
from the house to the church, and then to the
cemetery and return. These are provided by
the family.

DRESS. See FUNERALS--MEN.

EXPENSES. Though it is not customary for
the clergyman in Protestant churches to
expect or to receive fees for conducting funerals,
yet it is in perfectly good taste to offer him a
fee. In the Roman Catholic Church the rate
of fees for funerals is fixed. There are,
besides, fees for the sexton, the organist, and the
singers.

FLOWERS. The family, in publishing notice of
funeral, may add: "Kindly omit flowers."
However, in the absence of such a notice,
at the public funerals of prominent persons
elaborate designs may be sent. But at a
private funeral, if flowers are sent, they
should be choice and delicate.

The custom is growing of having fewer
flowers, and it is no longer in good taste to
have a carriage in the procession carrying
flowers and set pieces. A good use of the
large set pieces is to send them afterward to
the hospitals.

If any flowers are laid upon the grave
they should be those given by the nearest
relatives.

INVITATIONS. A church funeral can be attended
by any one, friend or acquaintance, and no
slight should be felt at the non-receipt of an
invitation. Those attending should take
especial pains to be in the church before the
funeral procession arrives, and that they do
nothing to distract from the solemnity of the
occasion.

Notice of death and date of funeral may be
printed on heavy bordered cards, or on
mourning paper, and sent to friends.
Sometimes a notice is written and sent to most
intimate friends.

MEN--DRESS. A man should wear either a black
frock coat or a black cutaway, with the
necktie, gloves, and other parts of the dress as
subdued as possible. Under no conditions
should light ties or light-colored linen be
worn.

PALL-BEARERS. See PALL-BEARERS.

PRECEDENCE. At a church funeral the parents,
arm in arm, follow the body of their child,
and the children come next in the order of
their age.

A widow, leaning on the arm of her eldest
son, follows the body of her husband, and
the other children come after.

A widower, attended by his eldest daughter
or son, follows the body of his wife, and the
children come after.

The elder children always precede the
younger. The pall-bearers are seated at the
left of the main isle, and the near relatives
at the right.

PUBLIC NOTICE. When the date of the funeral
has been determined upon, notice should be
published in the papers, giving date, place,
and time of funeral--also date of birth and
late place of residence of deceased. Such
announcement may contain notice that
the interment is private, and also the words:
"Kindly omit flowers."

A notice of death and date of funeral may
be printed on heavy bordered cards or mourning
paper, and sent to friends. Sometimes
a notice is written and sent to most intimate
friends.

CHURCH. The pall-bearers and the nearest relatives
meet at the house. At the appointed
hour the procession leaves the house, the
casket borne on the shoulders of the undertaker's
assistants, followed by the pall-bearers,
relatives, and friends.

The same order is followed in the procession
up the aisle, the relatives occupying
the first pews on the right, the pall-bearers
the first pews on the left, of the middle aisle.
At the conclusion of the ceremony the friends
wait until the family and pall-bearers have
left, and then quietly retire.

HOUSE. At a house funeral, some one representing
the family should receive the people
as they enter and direct them where to go,
it being customary for the family and relatives
to be in one room and the friends in
another.

Usually there are no pall-bearers; but if
there are, their duties are the same as at a
church funeral. The clergyman should stand
near the casket, and if there are musicians
they should be so stationed that, while they
are not seen, they are easily heard. At the
conclusion of the ceremony the friends depart,
and thus allow the family and relatives
to take the last leave of the deceased
before they take the carriages for the cemetery.

It is customary for the family to be in
retirement at the hour of the funeral, and
they are the first to enter the carriages.

Those in charge of the house should, after
the funeral party has left, arrange the
apartments to make them as cheerful as possible,
and also provide a substantial meal for
the mourners on their return.

GARDEN PARTIES.

CARDS. Guests leave their cards in the hall either
when entering or leaving only at large garden
parties.

DRESS. It is customary for women to wear light
afternoon dresses.

Men wear summer business suits, yachting
flannels, and straw hats, and even white duck
trousers. Gloves are not worn.

The regulation frock coat and high hat is
not worn, save by men from the city or at
some extremely fashionable affair.

GUESTS. After leaving their outer garments in
the dressing-rooms, the guests should pay
their respects to the hostess, after which
they are free to enjoy themselves as they
please.

The usual length of stay is about half an
hour or the whole afternoon.

While guests may arrive at their own convenient
time, they would do well to remember
that they have not the same freedom to come
and go as at an afternoon reception.

Guests should take leave of the hostess unless
she is very much engaged.

HOSTESS. The hostess wears afternoon dress,
and usually one that is dainty and delicate--
suitable for a summer afternoon.

She receives on the lawn, shakes hands
with each guest, and makes introductions
when deemed essential.

She may, if she so desires, receive with
some member of her family.

HOURS. These are from 3 to 7 P.M.

INVITATIONS. These are issued in the name of
the hostess, and may be engraved or written.
Sometimes the hostess writes on her card:
GARDEN PARTY, JULY 17, FROM 4 TO 7, or she
may use an AT HOME card, and in the lower
left-hand corner write: GARDEN PARTY. The
engraved card usually indicates an elaborate
affair.

These invitations may be sent by mail or
messenger.

It is a good plan to add to the invitations
some information regarding the trains, or to
enclose a time-table.

All such invitations should be promptly
acknowledged or declined.

MEN. Men wear summer business suits, white
ducks, or yachting flannels, A tennis suit
would be permissible.

The regulation frock coat and high hat
should be worn only by men from the city
attending an affair in the country, or at some
extremely fashionable affair.

Men should greet the hostess both on their
arrival and departure.

Visiting-cards are left only at large garden
parties.

WOMEN. Women wear light, delicate, afternoon
dresses.

They should greet the hostess, both on their
arrival and departure.

Visiting-cards are left only at large and
formal outdoor affairs.

GERMANS. See COTILLIONS.

GIFTS.

AFTER HOUSE PARTY. While not necessary, a
guest after a house party may send some
trifle to the hostess as a token of pleasure
and appreciation.

BEST MAN. After the groom selects the best
man, the latter should send a gift to the
bride, and may, if he wish, send it to the
groom, a custom not yet clearly established.

CHRISTENING. A christening ceremony offers a
good opportunity for the invited guests so
wishing to send a gift to the baby. These
should be sent a day or two before the
ceremony, and, if of silver, should be suitably
marked with the child's name, initials, or
monogram.

ENGAGEMENT. If both families of the engaged
couple are old acquaintances, the parents of
the man may send a gift along with their
greetings and congratulations.

WEDDING. See WEDDINGS--GIFTS.

GIFTS BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN. Books, flowers,
and other small articles of decoration are
proper gifts to accept.

Sending valuable gifts of jewelry, or any
other article, depends largely upon the
relationships of the parties, and should not be
done unless the sender is sure of its
acceptance. Such gifts should not be accepted
from mere acquaintances or friends.

It is bad form for a man to send expensive
presents to a woman who may be compelled
to return them.

GLOVES.

MEN. At the opera or theatre, if in full dress,
gloves may be dispensed with, but they are
worn with street dress. With formal evening
dress, white kid gloves should be worn.

For afternoon dress, gloves should be of
undressed kid, gray, tan, or brown. When
calling, the glove of the right hand should
be removed upon entering the drawing-room.

Gloves should not be worn at high teas.

MEN--AFTERNOON DRESS. Undressed kid
gloves of a dark color are worn.

MEN-BALLS. Men should always wear gloves
at all balls, in summer or winter, in town or
city.

MEN-CALLING ON WOMEN. Gloves need not
be removed at a formal or brief call.

MEN-DANCES. Gloves should be worn at formal
dances, and should be put on before entering
the room.

MEN-HIGH TEA. Men do not wear gloves.

MEN-MOURNING. Black or dark-colored gloves
should be worn.

MEN--SHAKING HANDS. At weddings, operas,
or dances, and on all very formal occasions,
men wear gloves. In shaking hands with
women on these occasions gloves should not
be removed.

If a hostess wears gloves at any formal
affair, a man wears his when he shakes hands
with her.

A man with hands gloved should never
shake hands with a woman without an apology
for so doing, unless she likewise wears gloves.
A sudden meeting, etc., may make a hand-shaking
in gloves unavoidable. Unless the
other party is also gloved, a man should say:
"Please excuse my glove."

WOMEN. Gloves should always be worn on the
street.

At dinners, or formal teas, women should
remove their gloves at the table and place
them in their laps.

At dinners and formal teas, when the
women have retired to the drawing-room,
they may resume their gloves or not, or
follow the example of the hostess.

At informal teas or "At Homes" the
hostess need not wear gloves.

BREAKFAST. Gloves should be removed at table.