Chapter XLIX: The Elbert Hubbard Worm

The Egyptians had sacred beetles, and Capitalist Journalism has sacred insects of various unpleasant and poisonous species. There was one sacred worm which all Capitalist Journalism venerated, and the Walsh Commission broke into the temple where this worm was kept, and tore away the sacred veils, and dragged the wriggling carcass out into the light of day. This was Elbert Hubbard, alias “Fra Elbertus,” editor of the “Philistine,” “Roycroft,” and the “Fra,” founder of the “Roycroft Shops,” host of the “Roycroft Inn,” and patron saint of East Aurora, New York. That the “Fra” was one of the high gods of Capitalist Journalism you can surely not deny. He was the very personification of the thing it calls “Success”; his books were circulated by millions, his magazines by hundreds of thousands, and all the world of hustlers and money-makers read and gloried in him. He is gone now, but they still keep his image in their Pantheon, and the corporations water his grave by free distributions of “A Message to Garcia.” We are told to say nothing but good of the dead, but my concern in life is for the living, so I shall tell what I know about this sacred worm.

I have mentioned in Chapter V my early experience with him. Prices were low in these days, and I am told that Hubbard got only five hundred dollars from the packers for his slashing of “The Jungle”: “Can it be possible that any one is deceived by this insane rant and drivel?” You may think that I cherish anger because of such violence to myself; you may not believe me, but I state the fact—I cherish anger because I tried to bring help to thirty thousand men, women and children living in hell, and this poisonous worm came crawling over their faces and ate out their eyes. And because again, and yet again, I saw this same thing happen! The wage-slaves of the Copper Trust went on strike, and this poisonous worm crawled over them and ate out their eyes. And then came the Colorado coal-strike—and the poisonous worm crawled on its belly to the office of the Rockefellers, looking for more eyes to eat. Thanks to Frank Walsh, we may watch him and learn how to be a worm.

First, when an eye-eating worm approaches the great ones of the earth, it applies what it calls the “human touch”; it establishes itself upon terms of equality, it gives them a hearty hand-clasp, perhaps a slap on the back—if you can imagine such actions from a worm. Listen to “Fra Elbertus,” addressing young Rockefeller:

I had a delightful game of golf with your father on Saturday. How fine
and brown and well and strong he is.

To which “Young John” responds with graceful cordiality:

Father has spoken of your visit to Tarrytown the other day, and of the
good game of golf which you had together. He is indeed in the best of
health.

These little amenities having been attended to, we proceed to the business in hand. Says the worm:

I have been out in Colorado and know a little about the situation
there. It seems to me that your stand is eminently right, proper and
logical. A good many of the strikers are poor, unfortunate ignorant
foreigners who imagine that there is a war on and that they are
fighting for liberty. They are men with the fighting habit, preyed
upon by social agitators.

I am writing something on the subject, a little after the general
style of my article on “The Copper Country,” in the “Fra Magazine” for
May. I mail you a copy of the “Fra” today. I believe you will be
interested in what I have to say about the situation in Northern
Michigan.

Just now it seems very necessary that someone should carry on a
campaign of education, showing this country, if possible, that we are
drifting at present in the direction of I. W. W. Socialism.

Are you interested in distributing a certain number of copies of the
“Fra” containing my article on the Colorado situation?

Also, what do you think of the enclosed booklets? I have distributed
these on my own account up to the extent of nearly a million, but I
have not the funds to distribute a million more as I would like to do.

Any suggestions from you in the line of popular education will be
greatly appreciated.

“Popular education,” you perceive! The worm is a public worm, serving the public welfare, animated by a grand, lofty ideal, to protect “the poor, unfortunate, ignorant foreigners,” who are “preyed upon by social agitators”! Mr. Rockefeller, of course, appreciates this, and is grateful for the support of so noble and disinterested a worm; he writes:

Your letter of May 3rd is received. I thank you for your words of
approval in connection with my stand on the question of the rights of
the independent workers.

But of course, as a business man, Mr. Rockefeller has to be cautious. He has to know what he is buying. He will pay for the silk which a worm can make, but not until it is made.

I have looked over the number of the “Fra” which you have sent me with
interest, and shall be glad to see the article which you are proposing
to write regarding the Colorado situation.

Not too cordial; but the worm has written books on Salesmanship, explaining how you must not give up at one rebuff, but must come back again and again, wearing the other fellow down. He tries again:

On May 3rd I sent you a copy of the “Copper Country” number of the
“Fra” magazine. Our friends up north have distributed a large number
of these, sending the magazines out from here, duly blue-penciled.

I have upwards of a million names of members of Boards of Trade,
Chambers of Commerce, Advertising Clubs, Rotarians, Jovians, school
teachers, all judges, members of Congress, etc.

It seems to me that we could well afford to circulate a certain number
of copies of the “Fra” containing a judicious and truthful write-up of
the situation in Colorado.

“Judicious and truthful,” you note. Never would our noble worm write anything that was not truthful; while as for being judicious, it is a virtue desperately needed in this crisis, while agitators are parading back and forth in front of the entrance to Mr. Rockefeller’s office building! The judicious worm has observed our antics and their success and he tactfully reminds Mr. Rockefeller of this:

Just here I cannot refrain from expressing my admiration for the
advertising genius displayed by those very industrious, hardworking
people Bill Haywood, Charles Moyer, Mother Jones, Emma Goldman,
Lincoln Steffens and Upton Sinclair. They are continually stating
their side of the controversy. I believe if we would state ours, not
of course in the same way or with the same vehemence, that we would be
benefiting the world to a very great degree.

The worm is all for benefiting the world; not for benefiting the worm—nor even for benefiting Rockefeller! But the worm is worthy of his hire, and would not cheapen himself and his advertising genius in the esteem of a business man. “The price of extra copies of the ‘Fra’ is $200 a thousand,” he writes. He proposes to charge Mr. Rockefeller twenty-cents apiece for magazines which he can produce and mail for ten cents apiece. In other words, he suggests that Mr. Rockefeller shall pay him two hundred thousand dollars, from which, after paying postage and wrapping, he will retain at least one hundred thousand!

But alas, it is notorious how the business man fails to appreciate genius! Mr. Rockefeller consults “Poison Ivy” Lee, whose advice is that the worm shall be allowed to go out to Colorado and see everything, but “have it distinctly understood that he is making this study entirely on his own initiative and at his own expense. If, after he has produced his article and you have read it, it seems to you something worth distributing, an arrangement for such distribution can be made with him.”

A cold, cold world for a public educator and prophet of judiciousness! These business men haggle, precisely as if Pegasus could be harnessed to a garbage-wagon! Says Mr. Rockefeller, writing to the president of the Colorado Fuel & Iron Company in Denver:

I have not seen Mr. Hubbard nor given him any encouragement in this
matter, other than as set forth in the above correspondence.

To which comes the reply from Denver:

Mr. Hubbard’s price for extra copies of his publication is to my mind
high.... We can determine after he has produced his article whether or
not we should go any further than we already have in enlarging its
distribution.

There was more of this correspondence. It was printed in “Harper’s Weekly” under the title, “Elbert Hubbard’s Price”; the substance of the matter being summed up by “Harper’s Weekly” as follows:

Mr. Hubbard’s proposal, it will be seen, had two parts. 1. To sell his
opinion. 2. Later on to make an “investigation” in support of that
opinion.