Chapter XXI: Part 21

If any child born in England, whose birth has been registered, shall,
within six months of such registration, have any name given to it in
baptism other than that originally registered, such baptismal name may
be added to the previous registration, if, within seven days of such
baptism, application be made to the registrar by whom the child was
originally registered. For this purpose a certificate of the baptism
must be procured of the clergyman, for which a fee of 2s. 7d.
(including stamp) must he paid. This certificate must he taken to the
registrar, who will charge another fee of _one shilling_ for adding
the baptisinal name to the original registration.

[FRUGALITY PROVES AN EASY CHAIR FOR OLD AGE.]

1961. Choice of Names.

To choose names for children, parents should consult the list of names
in _pars._ 971, 972.

1962. Children born at Sea.

If any child of an English parent shall be born at sea on board a
British vessel, the captain or commanding officer shall make a minute
of the particulars touching the birth of the child, and shall, on the
arrival of the vessel at any part of the kingdom, or sooner, by any
other opportunity, send a certificate of the birth through the
post-office (_for which no postage will be charged_), to the Registrar
General, General Registrar Office, London.

1963. Funerals and Registration of Deaths.

It is always best to place the direction of a funeral under a
respectable undertaker, with the precaution of obtaining his estimate
for the expenses, and limiting him to them. He can best advise upon
the observances to be attended to, since the style of funerals differs
with the station of the deceased's family, and is further modified by
the customs of particular localities, and even by religious views.

1964. Registration of Deaths.

The father or mother of any child that dies, or the occupier of a
house in which any person may die, must, within _five days_ after such
death, give notice to the registrar of the district. Some person
present at the death should at the same time attend and give to the
registrar an account of the circumstances or cause of the death, to
the best of his or her knowledge or belief. Such person must sign his
or her name, and give the place of abode at which he or she resides.
The following are the particulars required:

1. Date of Death.
2. Name in full.
3. Sex and age.
4. Rank or profession.
5. Cause of death.
6. Signature, description, and residence of the person giving the
information.
7. Date of the registration.

A certificate of the cause of death must be obtained from the medical
man in attendance, who is required to state when he last saw the
patient.

1965. Persons dying at Sea.

The commander of any British vessel, on board of which a death occurs
at sea, must act the same as in a case of birth.

1966. Certificates of Death.

Every registrar must deliver to the undertaker, _without fee_, a
certificate of the death, which certificate shall be delivered to the
officiating minister. No dead body can be buried without such
certificate, under a penalty of £10.

1967. Observances of Deaths and Funerals.

It is usual, when a death takes place, to communicate it immediately,
upon mourning note-paper, to the principal members of the family, and
to request them to notify the same to the more remote relatives in
their circle. A subsequent note should state the day and hour at which
the funeral is fixed to take place.

1968. Special Invitations.

Special invitations to funerals are not considered requisite to be
sent to near relatives; but to friends and acquaintances such
invitations should be sent.

1969. Gloves.

Most persons who attend funerals will provide themselves with gloves;
but it is well to have a dozen pairs, of assorted sizes, provided in
case of accident. An arrangement can be made for those not used to be
returned.

1970. Hatbands and Cloaks.

Hatbands and Cloaks will be provided by the undertaker.

1971. Mourning.

The dressmaker will advise upon the "degree" of mourning to be worn,
which must be modified according to the age of the deceased, and the
relationship of the mourner. The undertaker will advise respecting the
degree of mourning to be displayed upon the carriages, horses, &c.

[WE INCREASE OUR WEALTH WHEN WE LESSEN OUR DESIRES.]

1972. Going to the Funeral.

In going to the Funeral the nearest relatives of the deceased occupy
the carriages nearest the hearse. The same order prevails in
returning. Only the relatives and most intimate friends of the family
should return to the house after the funeral; and their visit should
be as short as possible.

1973. Walking Funerals.

In Walking Funerals it is considered a mark of respect for friends to
become pall-bearers. In the funerals of young persons, the pall should
be borne by their companions, wearing white gloves. It is a pretty and
an affecting sight to see the pall over the coffin of a young lady
borne by six of her female friends. Flowers may be placed, upon the
coffin, and strewed in and over the grave.

1974. Societies.

As funerals in England, when conducted in ths ordinary way, with the
usual display of hearse, mourning carriages, and costly mourning, are
attended with considerable expense, societies have been formed in many
parishes with the view of reducing the outlay resorted to on these
occasions, and at a time perhaps when it would be better in many cases
to observe the strictest economy. The members of these societies
agree among themselves to do all that is possible to reduce
expenditure at funerals, and to render the accompaniments of the sad
ceremony as inexpensive as possible. Instead of going into mourning,
many now content themselves with wearing a simple band of cloth round
the left arm. This is done by women as well as by men.

1975. Visits of Condolence.

Visits of condolence after funerals should be paid by relatives within
from a week to a fortnight; by friends within the second week of the
fortnight; friends of less intimacy should make enquiries and leave
cards.

1976. Correspondence.

Correspondence with families in mourning should be upon black-edged
paper, if from members of the family; or upon the ordinary notepaper,
but sealed with black, if from friends.

1977. Ceremonies.

All ceremonies are in themselves superficial things; yet a man of the
world should know them. They are the outworks of manners and decency,
which would be too often broken in upon, if it were not for that
defence which keeps the enemy at a proper distance. It is for that
reason we always treat fools and coxcombs with great ceremony, true
good-breeding not being a sufficient barrier against them.

1978. Love's Telegraph.

If a gentleman want a wife, he wears a ring on the _first_ finger of
the left hand; if he be engaged, he wears it on the _second_ finger;
if married, on the _third_; and on the fourth if he never intends to
be married. When a lady is not engaged, she wears a hoop or diamond
on her _first_ finger; if engaged, on the _second_; if married, on the
_third_; and on the fourth if she intends to die unmarried. When a
gentleman presents a fan, flower, or trinket, to a lady with the
_left_ hand, this, on his part, is an overture of regard; should she
receive it with the _left_ hand, it is considered as an acceptance of
his esteem; but if with the _right_ hand, it is a refusal of the
offer. Thus, by a few simple tokens explained by rule, the passion of
love is expressed; and through the medium of the telegraph, the most
timid and diffident man may, without difficulty, communicate his
sentiments of regard to a lady, and, in case his offer should be
refused, avoid experiencing the mortification of an explicit refusal.

1979. Wedding Rings.

The custom of wearing wedding rings appears to have taken its rise
among the Romans. Before the celebration of their nuptials, there was
a meeting of friends at the house of the lady's father, to settle
articles of the marriage contract, when it was agreed that the dowry
should be paid down on the wedding day or soon after. On this occasion
there was commonly a feast, at the conclusion of which the man gave to
the woman, as a pledge, a ring, which she put on the fourth finger of
her left hand, _because it was believed that a nerve reached thence to
the heart_, and a day was then named for the marriage.

1980. Why the Wedding Ring is placed on the Fourth Finger.

"We have remarked on the vulgar error which supposes that an artery
runs from the fourth finger of the left hand to the heart. It is
said by Swinburn and others, that therefore it became the wedding
finger. The priesthood kept up this idea by still retaining it as
the wedding finger, but the custom is really associated with the
doctrine of the Trinity; for, in the ancient ritual of English
marriages, the ring was placed by the husband on the top of the
thumb of the left hand, with the words, 'In the name of the father;'
he then removed it to the forefinger, saying, 'In the name of the
Son;' then to the middle finger, adding, 'And of the Holy Ghost;'
finally, he left it as now, on the fourth finger, with the closing
word, 'Amen.'"
_The History and Poetry of Finger Rings_.

1981. The Art of being Agreeable.

The true art of being agreeble is to appear well pleased with all the
company, and rather to seem well entertained with them than to bring
entertainment to them. A man thus disposed, perhaps may not have much
learning, nor any wit; but if he has common sense and something
friendly in his behaviour, it conciliates men's minds more than the
brightest parts without this disposition; and when a man of such a
turn comes up to old age, he is almost sure to be treated with
respect. It is true, indeed, that we should not dissembie and flatter
in company; but a man may be very agreeable, strictly, consistent with
truth and sincerity, by a prudent silence where he cannot concur, and
a pleasing assent where he can. Now and then you meet a person so
exactly formed to please, that he will gain upon everyone that hears
or beholds him: this disposition is not merely the gift of nature, but
frequently the effect of much knowledge of the world, and a command
over the passions.

1982. Artificial Manners.

Artificial manners, and such as spring from good taste and refinement,
can never be mistaken, and differ as widely as gold and tinsel. How
captivating is gentleness of manner derived from true humility, and
how faint is every imitation! That suavity of manner which renders a
real gentlewoman courteous to all, and careful to avoid giving
offence, is often copied by those who merely subject themselves to
certain rules of etiquette: but very awkward is the copy. Warm
professions of regard are bestowed on those who do not expect them,
and the esteem which is due to merit appears to be lavished on every
one alike. And as true humility, blended with a right appreciation of
self-respect, gives a pleasing cast to the countenance, so from a
sincere and open disposition springs that artlessness of manner which
disarms all prejudice. Feeling, on the contrary, is ridiculous when
affected, and, even when real, should not be too openly manifested.
Let the manners arise from the mind, and let there be no disguise for
the genuine emotions of the heart.

1983. Hints upon Personal Manners.

It is sometimes objected to books upon etiquette that they cause those
who consult them to act with mechanical restraint, and to show in
society that they are governed by arbitrary rules, rather than by an
intuitive perception of what is graceful and polite.

1984. Unsound Objection.

This objection is unsound because it supposes that people who study
the theory of etiquette do not also exercise their powers of
observation in society, and obtain, by their intercourse with others,
that freedom and ease of deportment which society alone can impart.

[BETTER GO TO BED SUPPERLESS THAN RISE IN DEBT.]

1985. Books upon Etiquette.

Books upon Etiquette are useful, inasmuch as they expound the laws of
polite society. Experience alone, however, can give effect to the
_precise_ manner in which those laws are required to be observed.

1986. Simple Hints.

Whatever objections may be raised to the teachings of works upon
etiquette, there can be no sound argument against a series of simple
and brief hints, which shall operate as precautions against mistakes
in personal conduct.

1987. No Gossip.

Avoid intermeddling with the affairs of others. This is a most common
fault. A number of people seldom meet but they begin discussing the
affairs of some one who is absent. This is not only uncharitable, but
positively unjust. It is equivalent to trying a _cause in the absence
of the person implicated_. Even in the criminal code a prisoner is
presumed to be innocent until he is found guilty. Society, however, is
less just, and passes judgment without hearing the defence. Depend
upon it, as a certain rule, _that the people who unite with you in
discussing the affairs of others will proceed to your affairs and
conduct in your absence_.

1988. Consistent Principles.

Be consistent in the avowal of Principles. Do not deny to-day that
which you asserted yesterday. If you do, you will stultify yourself,
and your opinions will soon be found to have no weight. You may fancy
that you gain favour by subserviency; but so far from gaining favour,
you lose respect.

1989. Avoid Falsehood.

Avoid falsehood. There can be found no higher virtue than the love of
truth. The man who deceives others must himself become the victim of
morbid distrust. Knowing the deceit of his own heart, and the
falsehood of his own tongue, his eyes must be always filled with
suspicion, and he must lose the greatest of all happiness--confidence
in those who surround him.

1990. Elements of Manly Character.

The following elements of manly character are worthy of frequent
meditation:

i. To be wise in his disputes.

ii. To be a lamb in his home.

iii. To be brave in battle and great in moral courage.

iv. To be discreet in public.

v. To be a bard in his chair.

vi. To be a teacher in his household.

vii. To be a council in his nation.

viii. To be an arbitrator in his vicinity.

ix. To be a hermit in his church.

x. To be a legislator in his country.

xi. To be conscientious in his actions.

xii. To be happy in his life.

xiii. To be diligent in his calling.

xiv. To be just in his dealing.

xv. To do whatever he doeth as being done unto God, and not unto
men.

1991. Good Temper.

Avoid Manifestations of Ill-temper. Reason is given for man's
guidance. Passion is the tempest by which reason is overthrown. Under
the effects of passion, man's mind becomes disordered, his face
disfigured, his body deformed. A moment's passion has frequently cut
off a life's friendship, destroyed a life's hope, embittered a life's
peace, and brought unending sorrow and disgrace. It is scarcely worth
while to enter into a comparative analysis of ill-temper and passion;
they are alike discreditable, alike injurious, and should stand
equally condemned.

1992. Be Humble.

Avoid Pride. If you are handsome, God made you so; if you are learned,
some one instructed you; if you are rich, God gave you what you own.
It is for others to perceive your goodness; but you should be blind to
your own merits. There can be no comfort in deeming yourself better
than you really are: that is self-deception. The best men throughout
all history have been the most humble.

1993. Affectation is a Form of Pride.

It is, in fact, pride made ridiculous and contemptible. Some one
writing upon affectation has remarked as follows:

"If anything will sicken and disgust a man, it is the affected,
mincing way in which some people choose to talk. It is perfectly
nauseous. If these young jackanapes, who screw their words into all
manner of diabolical shapes, could only feel how perfectly
disgusting they were, it might induce them to drop it. With many, it
soon becomes such a confirmed habit that they cannot again be taught
to talk in a plain, straightforward, manly way. In the lower order
of ladies' boarding-schools, and indeed, too much everywhere, the
same sickening, mincing tone is too often found. Do, pray, good
people, do talk in your natural tone, if you don't wish to be
utterly ridiculous and contemptible."

1994. Vulgarity.

We have adopted the foregoing Paragraph because we approve of some of
its sentiments, but chiefly because it shows that persons who object
to affectation may go to the other extreme--vulgarity. It is vulgar,
we think, to call even the most affected people "jackanapes, who screw
their words into all manner of diabolical shapes." Avoid vulgarity in
manner, in speech, and in correspondence. To conduct yourself vulgarly
is to offer offence to those who are around you; to bring upon
yourself the condemnation of persons of good taste; and to incur the
penalty of exclusion from good society. Thus, cast among the vulgar,
you become the victim of your own error.

1995. Avoid Swearing.

An oath is but the wrath of a perturbed spirit. It is _mean_. A man of
high moral standing would rather treat an offence with contempt than
show his indignation by an oath. It is _vulgar_, altogether too low
for a decent man. It is _cowardly_, implying a fear either of not
being believed or obeyed. It is _ungentlemanly_, A gentleman,
according to Webster, is a _genteel_ man--well-bred, refined. It is
_indecent_, offensive to delicacy, and extremely unfit for human ears.
It is _foolish_. "Want of decency is want of sense." It is
_abusive_--to the mind which conceives the oath, to the tongue which
utters it, and to the person at whom it is aimed. It is _venomous_,
showing a man's heart to be as a nest of vipers; and every time he
swears, one of them starts out from his head. It is _contemptible_,
forfeiting the respect of all the wise and good. It is _wicked_,
violating the Divine law, and provoking the displeasure of Him who
will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.

1996. Be a Gentleman.

Moderation, decorum, and neatness distinguish the gentleman; he is at
all times affable, diffident, and studious to please. Intelligent and
polite, his behaviour is pleasant and graceful. When he enters the
dwelling of an inferior, he endeavours to hide, if possible, the
difference between their ranks of life; ever willing to assist those
around him, he is neither unkind, haughty, nor over-bearing. In the
mansions of the rich, the correctness of his mind induces him to bend
to etiquette, but not to stoop to adulation; correct principle
cautions him to avoid the gaming-table, inebriety, or any other foible
that could occasion him self-reproach. Gratified with the pleasures of
reflection, he rejoices to see the gaieties of society, and is
fastidious upon no point of little import. Appear only to be a
gentleman, and its shadow will bring upon you contempt; be a
gentleman, and its honours will remain even after you are dead.

1997. The Happy Man, or True Gentleman.

How happy is he born or taught,
That serveth not another's will,
Whose armour is his honest thought,
And simple truth his only skill:

Whose passions not his masters are.
Whose soul is still prepared for death
Not tied unto the world with care
Of prince's ear, or vulgar breath:

Who hath his life from rumours freed,
Whose conscience is his strong retreat
Whose state can neither flatterers feed.
Nor ruin make oppressors great,

Who God doth late and early pray
More of His grace than gifts to lend;
And entertains the harmless day
With a well-chosen book or friend;

This man is freed from servile bands,
Of hope to rise or fear to fall;
Lord of himself, though not of lands,
And having nothing, yet hath all.

_Sir Henry Wotton_, 1530.

[RICHES ARE BUT THE BAGGAGE OF FORTUNE.]

1998. Be Honest.

Not only because "honesty is the best policy," but because it is a
duty to God and to man. The heart that can be gratified by dishonest
gains; the ambition that can be satisfied by dishonest means; the mind
that can be devoted to dishonest purposes, must be of the worst order.

1999. General Principles.

Having laid down these General Principles for the government of
personal conduct, we will epitomize what we would still enforce:

2000. Idleness.

Avoid Idleness. It is the parent of many evils. Can you pray, "Give us
this day our daily bread," and not hear the reply, "Do thou this day
thy daily duty"?

2001. Idle Tales.

Avoid telling Idle Tales, which is like firing arrows in the dark: you
know not into whose heart they may fall.

2002. Self-Praise.

Avoid talking about yourself, praising your own works, and proclaiming
your own deeds. If they are good they will proclaim themselves, if
bad, the less you say of them the better.

2003. Envy.

Avoid Envy; for it cannot benefit you, nor can it injure those against
whom it is cherished.

2004. Disputation.

Avoid Disputation for the mere sake of argument. The man who disputes
obstinately, and in a bigoted spirit, is like the man who would stop
the fountain from which he should drink. Earnest discussion is
commendable; but factious argument never yet produced a good result.

2005. Kindness.

Be Kind in Little Things.--The true generosity of the heart is more
displayed by deeds of minor kindness, than by acts which may partake
of ostentation.

2006. Politeness.

Be Polite.--Politeness is the poetry of conduct--and like poetry, it
has many qualities. Let not your politeness be too florid, but of
that gentle kind which indicates a refined nature.

2007. Sociable.

Be Sociable--avoid reserve in society. Remember that the social
elements, like the air we breathe, are purified by motion. Thought
illumines thought, and smiles win smiles.

2008. Punctuality.

Be Punctual.--One minute too late has lost many a golden opportunity.
Besides which, the want of punctuality is an affront offered to the
person to whom your presence is due.

2009. Hints.

The foregoing Remarks may be said to apply to the moral conduct,
rather than, to the details of personal manners. Great principles,
however, suggest minor ones; and hence, from the principles laid down,
many hints upon personal behaviour may be gathered.

2010. Hearty.

Be Hearty in your salutations, discreet and sincere in your
friendships.

2011. Listen.

Prefer to Listen rather than to talk.

2012. Respect.

Behave, even in the presence of your relations, as though you felt
respect to be due to them.

2013. Humble.

In Society never forget that you are but one of many.

2014. House Rules.

When you Visit a Friend, conform to the rules of his household; lean
not upon his tables, nor rub your feet against his chairs.

2015. Privacy.

Pry not into Letters that are not your own.

2016. Ladies.

Pay unmistakable Respect to ladies everywhere.

2017. Silliness.

Beware of Foppery, and of silly flirtation.

2018. Considerate.

In Public Places be not too pertinacious of your own rights, but find
pleasure in making concessions.

2019. Conversation.

Speak Distinctly, look at the person to whom you speak, and when you
have spoken, give him an opportunity to reply.

2020. Temperance.

Avoid Drunkenness as you would a curse; and modify all appetites,
especially those that are acquired.

2021. Correct Dress.

Dress Well, but not superfluously; be neither like a sloven, nor like
a stuffed model.

2022. Cleanliness.

Keep away all Uncleanly Appearances from the person. Let the nails,
the teeth, and, in fact, the whole system receive _salutary_ rather
than _studied_ care. But let these things receive attention at the
toilet--not elsewhere.

2023. Jewellery.

Avoid displaying Excess of Jewellery. Nothing looks more effeminate
upon a man.

2024. Central Ideas.

Every one of these Suggestions may be regarded as the centre of many
others, which the earnest mind cannot fail to discover. (See HINTS ON
ETIQUETTE, _par_. 1924.)

2025. Children.

Happy indeed is the child who, during the first period of its
existence, is fed upon no other aliment than the milk of its mother,
or that of a healthy nurse. If other food become necessary before the
child has acquired teeth, it ought to be of a liquid form; for
instance, biscuits or stale bread boiled in an equal mixture of milk
and water, to the consistence of a thick soup; but by no means even
this in the first week of its life. Children who are brought up by
hand, that is to say, who are not nursed by mother or wet nurse,
require an occasioned change of diet, and thin gruel affords a
wholesome alternation to milk. When cows' milk is used it should be
obtained, if possible, from one and the same cow, and diluted with
boiled water. Swiss milk is recommended by some medical men. The
Aylesbury Dairy Company furnish a speciality for young children under
the name of "Artificial Human Milk," which is recommended.

2026. Thickening.

Flour or Meal ought never to be used for soup, as it produces viscid
humours, instead of a wholesome nutritious chyle.

2027 Introducing Solid Food.

After the first Six Months, weak veal or chicken broth may be given,
and also, progressively, vegetables that are not very flatulent, for
instance, carrots, endive, spinach, parsnips, with broth, and a little
stewed fruit, such as apples, pears, plums, and cherries.

2028. After Weaning.

When the Infant Is Weaned, and has acquired its proper teeth, it is
advisable to let it have small portions of meat, and other vegetables,
as well as dishes prepared of flour, &c., so that it may gradually
become accustomed to every kind of strong and wholesome food.

2029. Simple Food.

We ought, however, to be cautious, and not upon any account to allow a
child pastry, confectionery, cheese, heavy dishes made of boiled or
baked flour, onions, horseradish, mustard, smoked and salted meat,
especially pork, and all compound dishes; for the most simple food is
the most wholesome.

2030. Potatoes.

Potatoes should be allowed only in moderation, and not to be eaten
with butter, but rather with other vegetables, either mashed up or in
broth.

2031. Time-Table.

The Time of Taking Food is not a matter of indifference; very young
infants make an exception; for, as their consumption of vital power is
more rapid, they may be more frequently indulged with aliment.

2032. Regularity.

It is, however, advisable to accustom even them to a certain
regularity, so as to allow them their victuals at stated periods of
the day; for it has been observed that those children which are fed
indiscriminately through the whole day, are subject to debility and
disease. The stomach should be allowed to recover its tone, and to
collect the juices necessary for digestion, before it is supplied with
a new portion of food.

2033. Daily Diet.

The following Order of giving Food to children has been found proper,
and conducive to their health:--After rising in the morning, suppose
about six o'clock, a moderate portion of lukewarm milk, with well
baked bread, which should by no means be new; at nine o'clock, bread
with some fruit, or, if fruit be scarce, a small quantity of fresh
butter; about twelve o'clock, the dinner, of a sufficient quantity;
between four and five o'clock, some bread with fruit, or, in winter,
some preserve as a substitute for fruit.

2034. Tea.

On this Occasion, Children should be allowed to eat till they are
satisfied, without surfeiting themselves, that they may not crave for
a heavy supper, which disturbs their rest, and is productive of bad
humours: lastly, about seven o'clock they may be permitted a light
supper, consisting either of milk, soup, fruit, or boiled vegetables
and the like, but neither meat nor mealy dishes, nor any article of
food which produces flatulency; in short, they ought then to eat but
little, and remain awake at least for an hour after it.

2035. Bread.

It has often been contended that Bread is hurtful to children; but
this applies only to new bread, or such as is not sufficiently baked;
for instance, nothing can be more hurtful or oppressive than rolls,
muffins, and crumpets. Good wheaten bread, especially that baked by
the aerated process, is extremely proper during the first years of
infancy; but that made of whole wheat meal, or wheat flour from which
the bran has not been eliminated is, perhaps, more conducive to health
after the age of childhood.

2036. Drink.

With respect to Drink, physicians are decidedly against giving it to
children in large quantities, and at irregular periods, whether it
consists of the mother's milk, or any other equally mild liquid.

2037. Improper.

It is improper and pernicious to keep infants continually at the
breast; and it would be less hurtful, nay, even judicious, to let them
cry for a few nights, rather than to fill them incessantly with milk,
which readily turns sour on the stomach, weakens the digestive organs,
and ultimately generates scrofulous affections.

2038. Liquids.

In the latter part of the First Year, pure water, milk-and-water, or
toast-and-water may occasionally be given. On no account should a
young child be permitted to taste beer or wine, unless specially
ordered by a medical man. Those parents who accustom their children to
drink water only, bestow on them a fortune, the value and importance
of which will be sensibly felt through life.

2039. Drinking with Meals.

Many Children acquire a Habit of Drinking during their meals; it would
be more conducive to digestion if they were accustomed to drink only
after having made a meal. This salutary rule is too often neglected,
though it is certain that innundations of the stomach, during the
mastication and maceration of the food, not only vitiate digestion,
but they may be attended with other bad consequences; as cold drink,
when brought in contact with the teeth previously heated, may easily
occasion cracks or chinks in these useful bones, and pave the way for
their carious dissolution.

2040. Crying.

If we Inquire into the Cause which produces the crying of infants, we
shall find that it seldom originates from pain, or uncomfortable
sensations, for those who are apt to imagine that such causes must
_always_ operate on the body of an infant, are egregiously mistaken;
inasmuch as they conceive that the physical condition, together with
the method of expressing sensations, is the same in infants and adults.

2041. Difference.

It requires, however, no demonstration to prove that the state of the
former is essentially different from that of the latter.

2042. Power.

In the First Year of Infancy, many expressions of the tender organs
are to be considered only as efforts of manifestations of power.

2043. Exertions.

We observe, for instance, that a child, as soon as it is undressed, or
disencumbered from swaddling clothes, moves its arms and legs, and
often makes a variety of strong exertions; yet no reasonable person
would suppose that such attempts arise from a preternatural or
oppressive state of the little agent.

2044. Exercise.

It is therefore equally absurd to draw an unfavourable inference from
every inarticulate cry; because, in most instances, these vociferating
sounds imply the effort which children necessarily make to display the
strength of their lungs, and exercise the organs of respiration.

[HASTE MAKES WASTE.]

2045. Functions.

Nature has wisely ordained that by these very efforts the power and
utility of functions so essential to life should be developed, and
rendered more perfect with every inspiration.

2046. Development of the Breast.

Hence it follows, that those over-anxious parents or nurses, who
continually endeavour to prevent infants crying do them a material
injury; for, by such imprudent management, their children seldom or
never acquire a perfect form of the breast, while the foundation is
laid in the pectoral vessels for obstructions and other diseases.

2047. Independent.

Independently of any particular causes, the cries of children, with
regard to their general effects, are highly beneficial and necessary.

2048. Sole Exercises.

In the First Period of Life, such exertions are almost the only
exercises of the infant; thus the circulation of the blood, and all
the other fluids, is rendered more uniform; digestion, nutrition, and
the growth of the body are thereby promoted; and the different
secretions, together with the very important office of the skin, or
insensible perspiration, are duly performed.

2049. Extremely Improper.

It is Extremely Improper to consider every noise of an infant as a
claim upon our assistance, and to intrude either food or drink, with a
view to satisfy its supposed wants. By such injudicious conduct,
children readily acquire the injurious habit of demanding nutriment at
improper times, and without necessity; their digestion becomes
impaired; and consequently, at this early age, the whole mass of the
fluids is gradually corrupted.

2050. Cold.

Sometimes, however, the Mother or Nurse removes the child from its
couch, carries it about frequently in the middle of the night, and
thus exposes it to repeated colds, which are in their effects
infinitely more dangerous than the most violent cries.

2051. Indulgence.

We learn frum Daily Experience, that children who have been the least
indulged, thrive much better, unfold all their faculties quicker, and
acquire more muscular strength and vigour of mind, than those who have
been constantly favoured, and treated by their parents with the most
solicitous attention: bodily weakness and mental imbecility are the
usual attributes of the latter.

2052. Free and Independent Agent.

The First and Principal Rule of education ought never to be
forgotten--that man is intended to be a free and independent agent;
that his moral and physical powers ought to be _spontaneously_
developed; that he should as soon as possible be made acquainted with
the nature and uses of all his faculties, in order to attain that
degree of perfection which is consistent with the structure of his
organs; and that he was not originally designed for what we endeavour
to make of him by artificial aid.

2053. Guide and Watch.

The Greatest Art in educating children consists in a continued
vigilance over all their actions, without ever giving them an
opportunity of discovering that they are guided and watched.

2054. Instances.

There are, however, Instances in which the loud complaints of infants
demand our attention.

2055. Causes.

Thus, if their Cries be unusually violent and long continued, we may
conclude that they are troubled with colic pains; if, on such
occasions, they move their arms and hands repeatedly towards the face,
painful teething may account for the cause; and if other morbid
phenomena accompany their cries, or if these expressions be repeated
at certain periods of the day, we ought not to slight them, but
endeavour to discover the proximate or remote causes.

2056. Sleep.

Infants cannot Sleep too Long; and it is a favourable symptom when
they enjoy a calm and long-continued rest, of which they, should by no
means be deprived, as this is the greatest support granted to them by
by nature.

2057. Faster Life.

A Child lives comparatively much faster than an adult; its blood flows
more rapidly; every stimulus operates more powerfully; and not only
its constituent parts, but its vital resources also, are more speedily
consumed.

[DO A LITTLE WELL, AND YOU DO MUCH.]

2058. Aid of Sleep.

Sleep promotes a more Calm and Uniform Circulation of the blood; it
facilitates the assimilation of the nutriment received, and
contributes towards a more copious and regular deposition of
alimentary matter, while the horizontal posture is the most favourable
to the growth and development of the child.

2059. Proportion.

Sleep ought to be in Proportion to the age of the infant. After the
age of six months, the periods of sleep, as well as all other animal
functions, may in some degree be regulated; yet, even then, a child
should be suffered to sleep the whole night, and several hours both in
the morning and in the afternoon.

2060. Night Preferable.

Mothers and Nurses should endeavour to accustom infants, from the time
of their birth, to sleep in the night preferably to the day, and for
this purpose they ought to remove all external impressions which may
disturb their rest, such as noise, light, &c., but especially not to
obey every call for taking them up, and giving food at improper times.

2061. Day Sleep.

After the Second Year of their age, children will not instinctively
require to sleep in the forenoon, though after dinner it may be
continued to the third and fourth year of life, if the child shows a
particular inclination to repose; because, till that age, the full
half of life may safely be allotted to sleep.

2062. Proportion of Sleep.

From that period, however, sleep ought to be shortened for the space
of one hour with every succeeding year, so that a child of seven years
old may sleep about eight, and not exceeding nine hours: this
proportion may be continued to the age of adolescence, and even
manhood.

2063. Gradual Awakening.

To awaken Children from their sleep with a noise, or in an impetuous
manner, is extremely injudicious and hurtful; nor is it proper to
carry them from a dark room immediately into a glaring light, or
against a dazzling wall; for the sudden impression of light
debilitates the organs of vision, and lays the foundation of weak
eyes, from early infancy.

2064. Room for Sleeping.

A Bedroom or Night Nursery ought to be spacious and lofty, dry, airy,
and not inhabited through the day.

2065. No Contamination.

No Servants, if possible, should be suffered to sleep in the same
room, and no linen or washed clothes should ever be hung there to dry,
as they contaminate the air in which so considerable a portion of
infantile life must be spent.

2066. Consequences.

The Consequences attending a vitiated atmosphere in such rooms are
serious, and often fatal.

2067. Feather Beds.

Feather Beds should be banished from nurseries, as they are unnatural
and debilitating contrivances.

2068. Windows.

The Windows should never be opened at night, but may be left open the
whole day in fine clear weather.

2069. Position of Bedstead.

Lastly, the Bedstead must not be placed too low on the floor; nor is
it proper to let children sleep on a couch which is made without any
elevation from the ground; because the most mephitic and pernicious
stratum of air in an apartment is that within one or two feet from the
floor, while the most wholesome, or atmospheric air, is in the middle
of the room, and the inflammable gas ascends to the top.

2070. Cookery for Children.

2071. Food for an Infant.

Take of fresh cow's milk, one tablespoonful, and mix with two
tablespoonfuls of hot water; sweeten with loaf sugar, as much as may
be agreeable. This quantity is sufficient for once feeding a new-born
infant; and the same quantity may be given every two or three
hours,--not oftener,--till the mother's breast affords natural
nourishment.

2072. Milk for Infants Six Months Old.

Take one pint of milk, one pint of water; boil it, and add one
tablespoonful of flour. Dissolve the flour first in half a teacupful
of water; it must he strained in gradually, and boiled hard twenty
minutes. As the child grows older, one-third water. If properly made,
it is the most nutritious, at the same time the most delicate food
that can be given to young children.

2073. Broth.

Broth, made of mutton, veal, or chicken, with stale bread toasted, and
broken in, is safe and wholesome for the dinners of children when
first weaned.

2074. Milk.

Milk, fresh from the cow, with a very little loaf sugar, is good and
safe food for young children. From three years old to seven, pure
milk, into which stale bread is crumbled, is the best breakfast and
supper for a child.

2075. For a Child's Luncheon.

Good sweet butter, with stale bread, is one of the most nutritious, at
the same time the most wholesome articles of food that can be given
children after they are weaned.

2076. Milk Porridge.

Stir four tablespoonsfuls of oatmeal, smoothly, into a quart of milk,
then stir it quickly into a quart of boiling water, and boil up a few
minutes till it is thickened: sweeten with sugar. Oatmeal, where it is
found to agree with the stomach, is much better for children, being a
mild aperient as well as cleanser; fine flour in every shape is the
reverse. Where biscuit-powder is in use, let it be made at home; this,
at all events, will prevent them getting the sweepings of the baker's
counters, boxes, and baskets, All the waste bread in the nursery, hard
ends of stale loaves, &c., ought to be dried in the oven or screen,
and reduced to powder in the mortar.

2077. Meats for Children.

Mutton and poultry are the best. Birds and the white meat of fowls
are the most delicate food of this kind that can be given. These meats
should be slowly cooked, and no gravy, if made rich with butter,
should be eaten by a young child, Never give children hard, tough,
half-cooked meats, of any kind.

2078. Vegetables for Children. Eggs, &c.

For children rice ought to be cooked in no more water than is
necessary to swell it; apples roasted, or stewed with no more water
than is necessary to steam them; vegetables so well cooked as to make
them require little butter, and less digestion; eggs boiled slowly and
soft. The boiling of milk ought to be directed by the state of the
bowels; if flatulent or bilious, a very little currie-powder may be
given with vegetables with good effect. Turmeric and the warm seeds
(not hot peppers) are also particularly useful in such cases.

2079. Potatoes and Peas.

Potatoes, particularly some kinds, are not easily digested by
children; but this may be remedied by mashing them very fine, and
seasoning them with salt and a little milk. When peas are dressed for
children, let them be seasoned with mint and salt, which will take off
the flatulency. If they are old, let them be pulped, as the skins
cannot be digested by children's stomachs. Never give them vegetables
less stewed than would pulp through a cullender.

2080. Rice Pudding With Fruit.

In a pint of new milk put two large spoonfuls of rice, well washed;
then add two apples, pared and quartered, or a few currants or rasins.
Simmer slowly till the rice is very soft, then add one egg beaten to
bind it: serve with cream and sugar.

2081. Puddings and Pancakes for Children.

Sugar and egg, browned before the fire, or dropped as fritters into a
hot frying-pan, without fat, will make a nourishing meal.

2082. To prepare Fruit for Children.

A far more wholesome way than in pies or puddings, is to put apples
sliced, or plums, currants, gooseberries, &c., into a stone jar, and
sprinkle among them as much sugar as necessary. Set the jar in the
oven, with a teacupful of water to prevent the fruit from burning, or
put the jar into a saucepan of water till its contents be perfectly
done, Slices of bread or some rice may be put in to the jar to eat
with the fruit.

[HONEST LOSS IS PREFERABLE TO SHAMEFUL GAIN.]

2083. Rice and Apples.

Core as many nice apples as will fill the dish; boil them in light
syrup; prepare a quarter of a pound of rice in milk with sugar and
salt; put some of the rice in the dish, put in the apples, and fill up
the intervals with rice; bake it in the oven till it is a fine colour.

2084. A nice Apple Cake for Children.

Grate some stale bread, and slice about double the quantity of apples;
butter a mould, and line it with sugar paste, and strew in some
crumbs, mixed with a little sugar; then lay in apples, with a few bits
of butter over them, and so continue till the dish is full; cover it
with crumbs, or prepared rice; season with cinnamon and sugar. Bake it
well.

2085. Fruits for Children.

That fruits are naturally healthy in their season, if rightly taken,
no one who believes that the Creator is a kind and beneficent Being
can doubt. And yet the use of summer fruits appears often to cause
most fatal diseases, especially in children. Why is this? Because we
do not conform to the natural laws in using this kind of diet. These
laws are very simple, and easy to understand. Let the fruit be ripe
when you eat it; and eat when you require _food_. Fruits that have
_seeds_ are much more wholesome than the _stone_ fruits. But all
fruits are better, for very young children, if baked or cooked in some
manner, and eaten with bread. The French always eat bread with raw
fruit. Apples and winter pears are very excellent food for
children,--indeed, for almost any person in health,--but best when
eaten for breakfast or dinner. If taken late in the evening, fruit
often proves injurious. The old saying, that apples are _gold in the
morning, silver at noon, and lead at night_, is pretty near the truth.
Both apples and pears are often good and nutritious when baked or
stewed, and when prepared in this way are especially suitable for
those delicate constitutions that cannot bear raw fruit. Much of the
fruit gathered when unripe might be rendered fit for food by
preserving in sugar.

2086. Ripe Currants.

Ripe Currants are excellent food for children. Mash the fruit,
sprinkle with sugar, and let them eat freely, taking some good bread
with the fruit.

2087. Blackberry Jam.

Gather the fruit in dry weather; allow half a pound of good brown
sugar to every pound of fruit; boil the whole together gently for an
hour, or till the blackberries are soft, stirring and mashing them
well. Preserve it like any other jam, and it will be found very useful
in families, particularly for children, regulating their bowels, and
enabling you to dispense with cathartics. It may be used in the
ordinary way in roll-over puddings, and for tarts, or spread on bread
instead of butter; and even when the blackberries are bought, it is
cheaper than butter. In the country every family should preserve at
least half a peck of blackberries.

2088. Blackberry Pudding or Pie.

Pudding or pie made of blackberries only, or of blackberries and
apples mixed in equal proportions is excellent. For suitable suet
crust see _par_. 1269. and for puff paste see _par_. 1257.

2089. To make Senna and Manna Palatable.

Take of senna leaves and manna a quarter of an ounce of each, and pour
over them a pint of boiling water; when the strength is abstracted,
pour the infusion over from a quarter to half a pound of prunes and
two large tablespoonfuls of West India molasses. Stew the whole slowly
until the liquid is nearly absorbed. When cold it can be eaten with
bread and butter, without detecting the senna, and is excellent for
children when costive.

2090. Discipline of Children.

Children should not be allowed to ask for the same thing twice. This
may be accomplished by parents, teacher, or whoever may happen to have
the management of them, paying attention to their little wants, if
proper, at once, when possible. Children should be instructed to
understand that when they are not answered immediately, it is because
it is not convenient. Let them learn patience by waiting.

[CARE IN SUMMER, COMFORT IN WINTER.]

2091. My Wife's Little Tea Parties.

My wife is celebrated for her little parties,--not tea parties alone,
but dinner parties, pic-nic parties, music parties, supper parties--in
fact, she is vhe life and soul of ALL PARTIES, which is more than any
leading politician of the day can boast. But her great _forte_ is her
little tea parties--praised and enjoyed by everybody. A constant
visitor at these little parties is Mrs. Hitching (spoken of
elsewhere), and before a certain epoch in her life (_See par._ 215)
she was wont to remark that she "never knew _h_any one who understood
the _h_art of bringing so many _h_elegancies together" as my wife.
Nobody makes tea like her, and how she makes it she will impart at a
future time. But for her little "nick nacks," as she calls them, which
give a variety and a charm to the tea-table without trenching too
deeply upon our own pocket, she has been kind enough to give a few
receipts upon the present occasion.

2092. Good Plum Cake.

One pound of flour, quarter of a pound of butter, quarter of a pound
of sugar, quarter of a pound of currants, three eggs, half a pint of
milk, and a small teaspoonful of carbonate of soda or baking powder.
The above is excellent. The cakes are always baked in a common earthen
_flower-pot saucer_, which is a very good plan.

2093. Gingerbread Snaps.

One pound of flour, half a pound of treacle, half a pound of sugar,
quarter of a pound of butter, half an ounce of best prepared ginger,
sixteen drops of essence of lemon, potash the size of a nut dissolved
in a tablespoonful of hot water.

2094. Drop Cakes.

One pint of flour, half a pound of butter, quarter of a pound of
pounded lump sugar, half a nutmeg grated, a handful of currants, two
eggs, and a large pinch of carbonate of soda, or a little baking
powder. To be baked in a slack oven for ten minutes or a quarter of an
hour. The above quantity will make about thirty excellent cakes.

2095. A very Nice and Cheap Cake.

Two pounds and a half of flour, three quarters of a pound of sugar,
three quarters of a pound of butter, half a pound of currants or
quarter of a pound of raisins, quarter of a pound of orange peel, two
ounces of caraway seeds, half an ounce of ground cinnamon or ginger,
four teaspoonfuls of carbonate of soda or some baking powder; mixed
well, with rather better than a pint of new milk. The butter must be
well melted previous to being mixed with the ingredients.

2096. "Jersey Wonders."

The oddity of these "wonders" consists solely in the manner of
cooking, and the shape consequent. Take two pounds of flour, six
ounces of butter, six ounces of white sugar, a little nutmeg, ground
ginger, and lemon peel; beat eight eggs, and knead them all well
together; a taste of brandy will be an improvement. Roll the paste
into a long mass about the thickness of your wrist; cut off a slice
and roll it into an oval, about four inches long and three inches
wide, not too thin; cut two slits in it, but not through either end,
there will then be three bands. Pass the left one through the aperture
to the right, and throw it into a _brass_ or _bell-metal_ skillet of
BOILING lard or beef or mutton dripping. You may cook three or four at
a time. In about two minutes turn them with a fork, and you will find
them browned, and swollen or risen in two or three minutes more.
Remove them from the pan to a dish, when they will dry and cool.

[THEY MUST HUNGER IN FROST WHO WILL NOT WORK IN HEAT.]

2097. Muffins.

Add a pint and a half of good ale yeast (from pale malt, if possible)
to a bushel of the very best white flour; let the yeast lie all night
in water, then pour off the water quite clear; heat two gallons of
water just milk-warm, and mix the water, yeast, and two ounces of salt
well together for about a quarter of an hour. Strain the whole, and
mix up your dough as light as possible, letting it lie in the trough
an hour to rise; next roll it with your hand, pulling it into little
pieces about the size of a large walnut. These must be rolled out thin
with a rolling-pin, in a good deal of flour, and if covered
immediately with a piece of flannel, they will rise to a proper
thickness; but if too large or small, dough must be added accordingly,
or taken away; meanwhile, the dough must be also covered with flannel.