Chapter II: Part 2

5. He gave me the dimensions of the room. The dimensions were
ten by twelve feet.

6. Good grades may be obtained in two ways: by honest work, and
by cheating; however any one who cheats is doing himself more
harm than good.

7. The wall studding is made of two-by-fours. These
two-by-fours are placed sixteen inches apart.

8. The returning Crusaders brought with them oriental learning,
and found the peasantry impoverished.

9. The articles in this magazine are of high quality. The
articles are well written and attractively illustrated.

10. A Japanese woman going abroad at night must carry a lighted
lamp and must not speak to any one, women do not have much
freedom in Japan.

11. The sugar beets are irrigated by river water. They are
irrigated by means of furrows. The furrows run between the rows
of beets. The beets are irrigated once a week.

12. The referee asked each captain if his men were ready, after
which he blew the whistle, and the game was on, and within five
minutes our team scored a touchdown.

13. The ground should be harrowed as soon as possible after it
is plowed. It is a good plan to harrow the ground on the same
day that it is plowed, or on the day following.

14. Choose the middle of the prepared ground, which is about
eighty-five by fifty feet, as your starting point, measure
twenty-four feet east and west and set the net posts; then,
after marking off the different courts with tape, you are ready
for a good game of tennis.

15. There are two places on the island suitable for plays: one
in the bungalow and the other down on the sandy point; the
latter lends itself to the purpose readily, there are two trees
which make a splendid support for wires on which to hang the
curtain, and just east of these the ground slopes enough to
make a natural amphitheater.

=C. Excessive Coördination=

The ideas in the following sentences are loosely strung together with coördinating conjunctions. Place the important idea in the main clause. Subordinate other ideas by reducing each to a dependent clause, or a phrase, or a word.

1. Chris has a new coat and it is double-breasted.

2. I had a dog, and his name was Scratcher.

3. He gave a laugh but it was forced.

4. The woodcock is so foolish and deliberately walks into a
trap.

5. The engineers fastened rafts to the piles, and which were
pulled up when the tide rose.

6. Students often sit all doubled up, and raising their feet
high on the table.

7. Dunlap is carrying a palette, but without any paint on it.

8. The government has been successful in its suit, and the
tobacco trust was dissolved.

9. The British troops had no protection against poisonous gas
and the use of gas by the enemy was unexpected.

10. I make it a rule to study one thing at least an hour and no
long rest between.

11. The concrete is spread in a layer, and this is about nine
inches thick, and the width being ten feet.

12. Rockwell is our postmaster, and is accommodating, but he
has a disposition to be curious.

13. At the Gatun Dam there are concrete locks, and the purpose
of these is to lift vessels into the lake.

14. They say to tourists that objects are historic but which
are not historic at all.

15. I was lying quietly in the hammock, and I happened to look
up in the tree, and there was a green bird and eating a cherry.

16. They disputed for a time, and afterward the officer became
angry, and whipped out his sword.

17. A mirage is an illusion and the traveler thinks he sees
water when there really is none.

=D. Upside-down Subordination=

In the following sentences the important idea is buried in a subordinate clause or phrase. Rescue this main idea, express it in the main clause, and if possible subordinate the rest of the sentence to it.

1. I spoke to her on the street, when she did not answer.

2. She thanked me for my assistance, also asking me to come and
visit her the following Sunday.

3. The water froze in the buckets, although they did not burst.

4. The crows cawed angrily and circling around in one place.

5. He is threatened with tuberculosis, although he will not
sleep in the open air.

6. We had hacked the bark, the tree dying after a few months.

7. One of the contestants was from Wendover College, who
received the prize.

8. You ask a person what a spiral staircase is, when he will go
to showing you by motions of his hand.

9. It was about three o'clock, and we decided to return home,
which we did.

10. The plumber came, stopping the leak as soon as he arrived.

11. Benton sold stamps, in which business he grew rich.

12. The sun's heat beats down upon the brick tenements, which
is terrible.

13. The chemist tested the purity of the water, but which he
found unfit to drink.

14. Montaigne wrote an essay on "Solitude," where he pointed
out the disadvantages of travel.

15. The house is set close to the edge of the bluff,
overlooking a wide bend of the Alleghany River.

16. Things had been going from bad to worse among the Indians,
and some Sioux were entertaining a few Chippewas, and murdered
them, when the government took a hand in the affair.

17. The slight knowledge of metals and wide-awake observation
of an inexperienced miner discovered gold in Arizona.

CLEARNESS OF THOUGHT

Clearness is fundamental. The writer should be content, not when his meaning may be understood, but only when his meaning cannot be misunderstood. He may attain this entire clearness by giving attention to five matters:

Reference (20-23)
Coherence (24-28)
Parallel Structure (30-31)
Consistency (32-35)
Use of Connectives (36-38)

REFERENCE

By the use of pronouns, participles, and other dependent words, language becomes flexible and free. But each dependent part must refer without confusion to a word which is reasonably near, and properly expressed. Ordinarily a reader expects a pronoun or a participle to refer to the nearest noun (or pronoun) or to an emphatic noun.

=Divided Reference=

=20. A pronoun should be placed near the word to which it refers, and separated from words to which it might falsely seem to refer. If this method does not secure clearness, discard the pronoun and change the sentence structure.=

Uncertain reference of _which_: He dropped the bundle in the
mud which he was carrying to his mother. [The reader for a
moment refers the pronoun to the wrong noun. Bring _which_
nearer to its proper antecedent _bundle_.]

Right: He dropped in the mud the bundle which he was carrying
to his mother.

Vague reference of _this_: My failure in mathematics was
serious. My grades in English, history, and Latin were good
enough. But this brought down my average. [_This?_ What _this_?
Five nouns intrude between the pronoun _this_ and its proper
antecedent _failure_.]

Right: In English, history, and Latin I received fairly good
grades. But in mathematics I received a failure. This brought
down my average.

Remote reference of _it_: If you want to make a good speech,
take your hands out of your pockets, open your mouth wide, and
throw yourself into it.

Right: If you want to make a good speech, take your hands out
of your pockets, open your mouth wide, and throw yourself into
what you are saying. [Or, better] Take your hands out of your
pockets, open your mouth wide, and throw yourself into the
speech.

Ambiguous reference of _he_: John spoke to the stranger, and he
was very surly.

Right: John spoke to the stranger, who was very surly. [Or]
John spoke in a surly manner to the stranger.

Note.--The reference of relative and demonstrative pronouns is largely dependent upon their position. The reference of a personal pronoun (_he_, _she_, _they_, etc.) is not so much dependent upon its position, the main consideration being that the antecedent shall be emphatic (See the next article.)

Exercise:

1. He was driving an old mule attached to a cart that was blind
in one eye.

2. There is a grimy streak on the wall over the radiator which
can be removed only with great difficulty.

3. The feet of Chinese girls were bandaged so tightly when they
were babies that they could not grow.

4. He gave me a receipt for the money which he told me to keep.

5. After the pictures have been taken and the film has been
removed, they are sent to the developing room where it is
developed and dried.

=Weak Reference=

=21. Do not allow a pronoun to refer to a word not likely to be central in the reader's thought; a word, for example, in the possessive case, or in a parenthetical expression, or in a compound, or not expressed at all. Make the pronoun refer to an emphatic word.=

Wrong: When a poor woman came to Jane Addams' famous Hull
House, she always gave help. [_Poor woman_ and _Hull House_ are
the emphatic words, to which any pronoun used later is
instinctively referred by the reader.]

Right: When a poor woman came to Jane Addams' famous Hull
House, she always received help. [Or] When a poor woman came to
Hull House, Jane Addams always gave help.

Wrong: In biology, which is the study of plants and animals we
find that they are made up of unitary structures called cells.
[Since the words _plants and animals_ occur only in a
parenthetical clause, the reader is surprised to find them used
as an antecedent.]

Right: In the study of biology we find that plants and animals
are made up of unitary structures called cells.

Wrong: This old scissors-grinder sharpens them for the whole
neighborhood. [The center of interest in the reader's mind is a
man, not scissors.]

Right: This old scissors-grinder sharpens scissors for the
whole neighborhood.

Wrong: I always liked engineers, and I have chosen that as my
profession.

Right: I always liked engineering, and I have chosen it as my
profession.

Absurd: When the baby is through drinking milk, it should be
disconnected and put in boiling water. [The central idea in the
reader's mind is _baby_, not _milk-bottle_. The writer may have
been thinking about the _bottle_, but he did not make the word
emphatic; in fact, he did not express it at all.]

Right: When the baby is through drinking milk, the bottle
should be taken apart and put in boiling water.

Note.--Ordinarily, do not refer to the title in the first line of a theme. The reader expects you to assert something, and face forward, not to turn back to what you have said in the title.

Faulty: Color Photography

I am interested in this new development of science. For
a long time I ...

Right: Color Photography

Taking pictures in color has long appealed to me as an interesting
possibility ...

Exercise:

1. In Shakespeare's play _Othello_ he makes Iago a fiend.

2. The noodle-cutter is a kitchen device which saves time in
making this troublesome dish.

3. The life of a forester is interesting, and I intend to
follow that profession.

4. He took down his great-grandfather's old sword, who had
carried it at Bunker Hill.

5. I was always making experiments in science, and I naturally
acquired a liking for periodicals of that nature.

=Broad Reference=

=22. Do not use a pronoun to refer broadly to a general idea. Supply a definite antecedent or abandon the pronoun.=

Wrong: The tapper strikes the gong, which continues as long as
the push button is pressed. [The writer intends that _which_
shall refer to the entire preceding clause, but the reference
is intercepted by the word _gong_.]

Right [supplying a definite antecedent]: The tapper strikes the
gong, a process which continues as long as the push button is
pressed. [Or, abandoning the pronoun] The tapper strikes the
gong as long as the push button is pressed.

Wrong: Read the directions which are printed on the bottle and
it may save you from making a mistake.

Right [supplying a definite antecedent]: Read the directions
which are printed on the bottle. This precaution may save you
from making a mistake. [Or, abandoning the pronoun] Reading the
directions on the bottle may prevent a mistake.

Wrong: The managers told him they would increase his salary if
he would represent them in South America. He refused that.

Right: The managers told him they would increase his salary if
he would represent them in South America. He refused the offer.

Exception.--It cannot be maintained that a pronoun must _always_ have one definite word for its antecedent. Many of the best English authors occasionally use a pronoun to refer to a clause. But the reference must always be clear.

Note.--Impersonal constructions must be used with caution. "It is raining" is correct, although _it_ has no antecedent. We desire that the antecedent shall be vague, impersonal. But unnecessary use of the indefinite _it_, _you_, or _they_ should be avoided.

Faulty: It says in our history that Columbus was an Italian.

Right: Our history says that Columbus was an Italian.

Not complimentary to the reader: You aren't hanged nowadays for
stealing.

Right: No one is hanged nowadays for stealing.

Faulty: They are noted for their tact in France.

Right: The French are noted for their tact.

Exercise:

1. You use little slang in your paper which is commendable.

2. They had no reinforcements which caused them to lose the
battle.

3. The carbon must be removed from pig iron to make pure steel,
and that is done by terrific heat.

4. Our stenographer spends most of her spare time at a cheap
movie theater, which is in itself an index of her character.

5. It says in the new rules that you aren't allowed in the
building on Sunday.

=Dangling Participle or Gerund=

=23. A participle, being dependent, must refer to a noun or pronoun. The noun or pronoun should be within the sentence which contains the participle, and should be so conspicuous that the participle will be associated with it instantly and without confusion.=

Wrong: Coming in on the train, the high school building is
seen. [Is the building coming in? If not, who is?]

Right: Coming in on the train, one sees the high school
building.

A sentence containing a dangling participle may be corrected (1) by giving the word to which the participle refers a conspicuous position in the sentence, or (2) by replacing the participial phrase by some other construction.

Wrong: Having taken our seats, the umpire announced the
batteries.

Right: Having taken our seats, we heard the umpire announce
the batteries. [Or] When we had taken our seats, the umpire
announced the batteries.

Wrong: She was for a long time sick, caused by overwork. [The
participle _caused_ should not modify _sick_. A participle is
used as an adjective, and should therefore modify a noun.]

Right--using an adjectival modifier:

She had a long sickness, {caused by} overwork.
{due to }

Right--using an adverbial modifier:

{because of }
She was for a long time sick {owing to } overwork.
{on account of}

=When a gerund phrase (_in passing_, _while speaking_ etc.) implies the action of a special agent, indicate what the agent is. Otherwise the phrase will be dangling.=

Faulty: In talking to Mr. Brown the other day, he told me that
you intend to buy a car.

Better: In talking to Mr. Brown the other day, I learned that
you intend to buy a car.

Faulty: The address was concluded by reciting a passage from
Wordsworth.

Better: The speaker concluded his address by reciting a passage
from Wordsworth. [Or] The address was concluded by the
recitation of a passage from Wordsworth.

Note.--Two other kinds of dangling modifier, treated elsewhere in this book, may be briefly mentioned here. A phrase beginning with the adjective _due_ should refer to a noun; otherwise the phrase is left dangling (See 5 Note). An elliptical sentence (one from which words are omitted) is faulty when one of the elements is left dangling (See 3).

Faulty: I was late _due_ to carelessness [Use _because of_].

Ludicrous: My shoestring always breaks when hurrying to the
office at eight o'clock [Say _when I am hurrying_].

Exercise:

1. Coming out of the house, a street car is seen.

2. While engaged in conversation with my host and hostess, my
maid placed upon the table a steaming leg of lamb.

3. A small quantity of gold is thoroughly mixed with a few
drops of turpentine, using the spatula to work it smooth.

4. After being in the oven twenty minutes, open the door. When
fully baked, you are ready to put the sauce on the pudding.

5. Entering the store, a soda fountain is observed. Passing
down the aisle, a candy counter comes into view. The rear of
the store is bright and pleasant, caused by a skylight.

COHERENCE

The verb _cohere_ means to stick or hold firmly together. And the noun _coherence_ as applied to writing means a close and natural sequence of parts. Order is essential to clearness.

=General Incoherence=

=24. Every part of a sentence must have a clear and natural connection with the adjoining part. Like or related parts should normally be placed together.=

Bring related ideas together: Little Helen stood beside the
horse wearing white stockings and slippers.

Right: Little Helen, in white stockings and slippers, stood
beside the horse.

Keep unlike ideas apart: The colors of purple and green are
pleasing to the eye as found in the thistle.

Right: The purple and green colors of the thistle are
pleasing.

Distribute unrelated modifiers, instead of bunching them: I
found a heap of snow on my bed in the morning
which had drifted in through the window. [Subject
verb--object--place--time--explanation.]

Right: In the morning I found on my bed
a heap of snow which had drifted in through the window.
[Time--subject verb--place--object--explanation.]

Bring related modifiers together: When he has prepared his
lessons, he will come, as soon as he can put on his old
clothes. [Condition--main clause--condition.]

Right: When he has prepared his lessons and put on his old
clothes, he will come. [Condition and condition--main clause.]

Exercise:

1. He was gazing at the landscape which he had painted with a
smiling face.

2. She turned the steak with a fork which she was cooking for
dinner every few minutes.

3. Dickens puts the various experiences he had in the form of a
novel when he was a boy.

4. If the roads are made of dirt, the farmer has to wait, if
the weather is rainy, till they dry.

5. We received practically very little or none at all
experience in writing themes.

=Logical Sequence=

=25. Place first in the sentence the idea which naturally comes first in thought or in the order of time.=

Faulty: We went to the station from the house after bidding all
goodby.

Right: We said goodby to all, and went from the house to the
station.

=Do not begin one idea, abandon it for a second, and then return to the first. Complete one idea at a time.=

Faulty: She looked up as he approached and smoothed her hair.
[The writer begins a main clause, changes to a subordinate
clause, and then attempts to add more to the main clause.
Unfortunately the last two verbs appear to be coördinate.]

Right: She looked up and smoothed her hair as he approached.
[Or] As he approached she looked up, and smoothed her hair.

=Ordinarily, let a second thought begin where the first leaves off.=

Faulty: An orange grove requires plenty of water. The young
trees will die if they do not have plenty of water. [The order
of ideas is: "Grove ... water. Trees ... water." Reverse the
order of the second sentence.]

Right: An orange grove requires plenty of water. For without
water the young trees will die. [Now the order of ideas is:
"Grove ... water. Water ... trees."]

Exercise:

1. I boarded the train, after buying a ticket.

2. I dropped my pen when the whistle blew and sighed.

3. Unless the bank clerk has ability he will never be
successful unless he works faithfully and hard.

4. I remember the days when Rover was a pup. Now he is not half
so interesting as he was then.

5. A chessboard is divided into sixty-four squares, and there
is plenty of room between the opposing armies for a terrific
battle, since each army occupies only sixteen squares.

=Squinting Modifier=

=26. Avoid the squinting construction. That is, do not place between two parts of a sentence a modifier that may attach itself to either. Place the modifier where it cannot be misunderstood.=

Confusing: I told him when the time came I would do it. [_When
the time came_ is said to "squint" because the reader cannot
tell whether it looks forward to the end of the sentence, or
backward to the beginning.]

Right: When the time came, I told him I would do it. [Or] I
told him I would do it when the time came.

Confusing: Some friends I knew would enjoy the play. [_I knew_
squints.]

Right: Some friends would enjoy the play, I knew.

Confusing: The orator whom every one was calling for
enthusiastically hurried to the platform. [_Enthusiastically_
squints.]

Clear: The orator whom every one was enthusiastically calling
for hurried to the platform.

Exercise:

1. The man who laughs half the time does not understand the
joke.

2. Playing football in many ways improves the mind.

3. When she reached home much to her disgust the door was
locked.

4. When the lightning struck for the first time in my life I
was afraid.

5. The landlord wrote that he would if the rent were not paid
in thirty days eject the tenant.

=Misplaced Word=

=27. Such an adverb as _only_, _ever_, _almost_, should be placed near the word it modifies, and separated from words which it might falsely seem to modify. Such a conjunction as _nevertheless_, if required with a clause, should usually be placed near the beginning.=

Illogical: I only need a few dollars.

Right: I need only a few dollars.

Illogical: I don't ever intend to go there again.

Right: I don't intend ever to go there again. [Or] I intend
never to go there again.

Illogical: She has the sweetest voice I nearly ever heard.

Right: She has nearly [or _almost_] the sweetest voice I ever
heard.

Tardy use of conjunction: I intend to try. I do not expect to
accomplish much, however.

Right: I intend to try. I do not, however, expect to accomplish
much.

Exercise:

1. Students are only admitted to one lecture.

2. This is the smallest book I almost ever saw.

3. He is so poor he hasn't any food, scarcely.

4. She had one dress that she never expected to wear.

5. The difficulties were tremendous. He said that he would do
his best, nevertheless.

=Split Construction=

=28. Elements that have a close grammatical connection should not be separated awkwardly or carelessly. These elements are: (a) subject and verb, or verb and object; (b) the parts of a compound verb; and (c) the parts of an infinitive.=

Awkward: One in the struggle for efficiency should not become a
machine.

Better: In the struggle for efficiency one should not become a
machine.

Awkward: What use of an education could a girl who married a
penniless rogue and afterwards knew
nothing but hard labor, make?

Better: What use of an education could a girl make who married
a penniless rogue and afterward knew nothing but hard labor?

Crude: He was unable to even so much as stir a foot.

Better: He was unable even to stir a foot.

Note.--It is often desirable to separate the forms enumerated under (a) and (b) above, either for emphasis (See 40) or to avoid a bunching of modifiers at the end of a sentence (See 24). The whole point of rule 28 is not to depart from a natural order needlessly.

Exercise:

1. One thing the beginner must remember is to not get excited.

2. Ralph, when he heard the news, came flying out of the house.

3. The president called together, for the need was urgent, his
cabinet.

4. Bryce said that it is more patriotic to judiciously vote
than to frantically wave the American flag.

5. About the time Florence Nightingale had to give up her
plans, a war between Turkey, England, and France on one side
and Russia on the other, broke out.

=29.= EXERCISE IN CLEARNESS OF THOUGHT

=A. Reference of Pronouns=

In the following sentences make the reference of pronouns exact and unmistakable.

1. Brown wrote to Roberts that he had made a mistake.

2. We heard a voice through the door which told us to enter.

3. There is a walk leading from the street to the house which
is made of thin slabs of stone.

4. A milking stool was beside the cow on which he was
accustomed to sit.

5. Should a community, such as a small village, spend the money
they do on roads?

6. This magazine prints many special articles on politics and
social reforms that are always instructive.

7. I wish I could do something for the protection of birds in
our country which is neglected.

8. After a man has failed in one business, it is no sign he
will fail in every other.

9. Sometimes cane syrup is mixed with the maple syrup, which
reduces the value of the product.

10. It means hard and diligent work to study Latin, but it
strengthens our brain or at least it gives it good exercise.

11. In the class room the students become acquainted, which may
develop into lifelong friendships.

12. He was delighted with a ride on horseback, which animal he
had been familiar with in his childhood on the farm.

13. It says in our history that the battle of New Orleans was
fought after the treaty of peace had been signed.

14. Sparks flew about in the air, and it reminded me of a huge
Fourth of July celebration.

15. The doctor gave me medicine to stop the dull pain in my
head. This made me feel much better.

=B. Dangling Modifiers=

Remembering that a participle is used as an adjective and must therefore refer to a noun or pronoun, correct the following sentences. Gerund phrases and a few elliptical sentences are included in the list.

1. Having planned the basement, the next thing considered was
the first floor.

2. Glancing around the room, the ugly wall paper at once
confronted me.

3. After ringing the bell, and waiting a few moments, a maid
came to the door.

4. When selecting a site for an orchard, it should be well
drained.

5. Not being a skilled dancer, my feet moved awkwardly.

6. Having no watch, the clock must be consulted.

7. He was sick, caused by eating too much dessert.

8. Radium is very difficult to get, making it the most valuable
metal.

9. One man goes home and beats his wife, resulting in internal
injuries.

10. Over the paper and kindling a few small chunks of coal are
scattered, taking care not to choke the draft.

11. In speaking of character, it does not mean to be a governor
or a general.

12. This town draws trade for a radius of twenty miles, thus
accounting for the large volume of business.

13. While talking to Ralph yesterday, he spoke about his recent
success in the hardware business.

14. The bus holds fifteen people, and when full, the bus man
shuts the door.

15. If bright and pleasant, the rabbit will be found sitting at
the entrance of his burrow.

=C. Coherence=

Secure a clear, smooth, natural order for the following sentences.

1. I have a lot for sale near the city limits.

2. Many men can only speak their native tongue.

3. I saw yesterday, crossing the street, a beautiful woman.

4. They entered the room, and sitting on the floor they saw a
baby.

5. I put down my book when the clock struck and yawned.

6. She dropped the money on the sidewalk which she was carrying
home.

7. The horse did not notice that the gate was open for several
minutes.

8. It was worth the trouble. I do not wish to have the
experience again, however.

9. My first trip away from home, of any distance, was made on a
steamboat from St. Louis to New Orleans.

10. He gazed at a young man who was waving his hands violently,
called a cheer leader.

11. Any soil will grow some variety of strawberry, except sand
and clay.

12. I turned triumphantly to Will, who was still gazing at the
place where the muskrat sank with a beaming face.

13. Only the interest, the principal being kept intact, is
spent.

14. A student should see that external conditions are favorable
for study, such as light, temperature, and clothing.

15. Draw a heavy line using a ruler to connect New York and San
Francisco across the map.

PARALLEL STRUCTURE

When the structure of a sentence is simple and uniform, the important words strike the eye at once. Compare the following:

Parallel: Beggars must not be choosers.

Confusing: Beggars must not be the one who choose.

A reader gives attention partly to the structure of a sentence, and partly to the thought. The less we puzzle him with our structure, the more we shall impress him with our thought.

Parallel: Seeing is believing. [Attention goes to the thought.]

Confusing: Seeing is to believe. [Attention is diverted to
_structure_.]

The reader's expectation is that uniform structure shall accompany uniform ideas, and that a departure from uniformity shall indicate a change of thought.

=Parallel Structure for Parallel Thoughts=

=30. Give parallel structure to those parts of a sentence which are parallel in thought. Do not needlessly interchange an infinitive with a participle, a phrase with a clause, a single word with a phrase or clause, a main clause with a dependent clause, one voice or mode of the verb with another, etc.=

Faulty: Riding is sometimes better exercise than to walk.

Right: Riding is sometimes better exercise than walking. [Or]
To ride is sometimes better exercise than to walk.

Faulty: He had two desires, of which the first was for money;
in the second place, he wanted fame.

Right: He had two desires, of which the first was for money and
the second for fame. [Or] He had two desires: in the first
place, he wanted money; in the second, fame.

Faulty: His rival handled cigars of better quality and having a
higher selling price.

Right: His rival handled cigars of better quality and higher
price.

Faulty: When you have mastered the operation of shifting gears,
and after a little practice you will be a good driver.

Right: When you have mastered the operation of shifting gears,
and had a little practice, you will be a good driver. [Or]
After you master the gears and have a little practice, you will
be a good driver.

Faulty. These are the duties of the president of a literary
society:

(a) To preside at regular meetings,
(b) He calls special meetings,
(c) Appointment of committees.

Right: These are the duties of the president of a literary
society:

(a) To preside at regular meetings,
(b) To call special meetings,
(c) To appoint committees.

Faulty: She was actively connected with the club, church, and
with several organized charities. [Here parallelism is obscured
by the omission from the second phrase of both the preposition
and the article.]

Right: She was actively connected with the club, with the
church, and with several organized charities.

Faulty: He was red-faced, awkward, and had a disposition to eat
everything on the table. [The third element is like the others
in thought, and should have similar form.]

Right: He had a red face, an awkward manner, and a disposition
to eat everything on the table. [Or] He was red-faced, awkward,
and voracious.

Note.--Avoid misleading parallelism. For ideas _different_ in kind, do _not_ use parallel structure.

Wrong: He was hot, puffing, and evidently had run very hard.
[The third element is unlike the others in thought; hence the
_and_ is misleading.]

Right: He was hot and puffing; evidently he had run very hard.

Confusing: He was admired for his knowledge of science, and for
his taste for art, and for this I too honor him. [The last
_for_ gives a false parallelism to unlike thoughts.]

Better: He was admired for his scientific knowledge and for his
artistic taste. I honor him for both these qualities.

Exercise:

1. The duties of the secretary are to answer correspondence,
and keeping the minutes of the meetings.

2. This process is the most difficult; it costs the most; and
is most important.

3. I make it a rule to be orderly, spend no money foolishly,
and keep still when I have nothing to say.

4. The cotton is put up in bales about five feet in length and
three feet wide and four thick, and one of them weighing about
five hundred pounds.

5. Considerations of economy that one should bear in mind when
planning a house are: first, a rectangular ground-plan; second,
a one-chimney plan; third, to have only one stairway; fourth,
eliminate as many doors as possible; fifth, the bathroom should
be above the kitchen so as to reduce the cost of plumbing; and
lastly, the rooms should be few and large rather than small and
many of them.

=Correlatives=

Conjunctions that are used in pairs are called correlatives; for example, _not only_ ... _but also_ ..., _both_ ... _and_ ..., _either_ ... _or_ ..., _neither_ ... _nor_ ..., _not_ ... _or_ ..., _whether_ ... _or_ ....

=31. Correlatives should usually be followed by elements parallel in form; if a predicate follows one, a predicate should follow the other; if a prepositional phrase follows one, a prepositional phrase should follow the other; and so on.=

Faulty: He was not only courteous to rich customers but also to
poor ones. [Here the phrases intended to be balanced against
each other are _to rich customer's_ and _to poor ones_. As the
sentence stands, it is the word _courteous_ that is balanced
against _to poor ones_.]

Right: He was courteous not only to rich customers but also to
poor ones.

Faulty: She could neither make up her mind to go nor could she
decide to stay.

Right: She could neither make up her mind to go nor decide to
stay. [Or] She could not make up her mind either to go or to
stay.

Faulty: I talked both with Brown and Miller. [Here one
conjunction is followed by a preposition and the other by a
noun.]

Right: I talked with both Brown and Miller. [Or] I talked both
with Brown and with Miller.

Exercise:

1. He was courteous to both friends and his enemies.

2. Such conduct is not only dangerous to society but becomes a
national disgrace as well.

3. She had neither affectation of manners nor was she
sharp-tongued.

4. After reading Thoreau's _Walden_ I appreciate not only the
style but also I am inclined to believe in his ideas.

5. The good that the delegates derive from the convention not
only helps them, but they tell others what happened.

CONSISTENCY

=Shift in Subject or Voice=

=32. Do not needlessly shift the subject, voice, or mode in the middle of a sentence. Keep one point of view, until there is a reason for changing.=

Faulty: In the stream which the road led over, fish were
plentiful. [Here the first mental picture is of a stream. Then
the thought is jerked away to the road above. Then it returns
to the fish in the stream.]

Right: In the stream which flowed under the roadway, fish were
plentiful.

Faulty: Mark Twain was born in the West, but the East was his
home in later years. [The change of subject is uncalled for.]

Right: Mark Twain was born in the West, but lived in the East
in his later years. [Or] The West was the birthplace of Mark
Twain, and the East was his home in his later years.

Faulty: A careful driver can go fifteen miles on a gallon of
gasoline, and at the same time very little lubricating oil is
used. [The shift from active to passive voice is awkward and
confusing.]

Right: A careful driver can go fifteen miles on a gallon of
gasoline, and at the same time use very little lubricating oil.

Faulty: When a problem in chemistry is given, or when we wish
to calculate certain formulas, we find that a knowledge of
mathematics is indispensable.

Right: When a problem in chemistry is given, or when certain
formulas are to be calculated, a knowledge of mathematics is
indispensable. [Or] When we face a problem in chemistry, or
wish to calculate certain formulas, we find that a knowledge of
mathematics is indispensable.

Faulty: Next the ground should be harrowed. Then you sow the
wheat. [The subject changes from _ground_ to _you_. One verb
explains what _should_ be done, the other what somebody
_does_.]

{is }
Right: Next the ground { } harrowed. Then it
{should be}
{is }
{ } sown to wheat. [Or] Next you should harrow
{should be}
the ground. Then you should sow the wheat.

Exercise:

1. One end of a camera carries the film, and the lens and
shutter are in the other end.

2. When an athlete is in training, good healthful food should
be eaten.

3. An engineer's time is not devoted to one branch of science,
but should include many.

4. By having only five men in charge of our city government,
they would have more power, and we could then fix
responsibility.

5. There are two main classes of cake, sponge and butter. We
are taught to make both in cooking school. I like the sponge
cake. The butter cake is preferred by most persons.

=Shift in Number, Person, or Tense=

=33. Avoid an inconsistent change in number, person, or tense.=

Faulty change in number: One should save their money.

Right: People should save their money. [Or] A man should save
his money.

Faulty change in person: Place the seeds in water, and in a few
days a person can see that they have started to grow.

Right: Place the seeds in water, and in a few days you will see
that they have started to grow.

Faulty change in number: Take your umbrella with you. They will
be needed today.

Right: Take your umbrella with you. You will need it today.

Faulty change in tense: Freedom means that a man may conduct
his affairs as he pleases so long as he did not injure anybody
else.

Right: Freedom means that a man may conduct his affairs as he
pleases so long as he does not injure anybody else.

Faulty change in tense: When he heard the news, he hurries down
town and buys a paper.

Right: When he heard the news, he hurried down town and bought
a paper.

Note.--A change of tense within a sentence is desirable and necessary in certain instances, for which see 55.

Sometimes, for the sake of vividness, past events are described in the present tense, as if they were taking place before our eyes. This usage is called the _historical present_. A shift to the historical present should not be made abruptly, or frequently, or for any subject except an important crisis.

Exercise:

1. A person should be careful of their conduct.

2. Sentences should be so formed that the reader feels it to be
a unit.

3. One should make the best of their surroundings and their
possessions, provided they cannot better them.

4. When he sees me coming, he looked the other way.

5. Silas Marner lost many of his habits of solitude, and goes
out among his neighbors.

=Mixed Constructions=

=34. Do not make a compromise between two constructions.=

Faulty: I cannot help but go.

Right: I cannot help going. [Or] I cannot but go. [Or] I can
but go.

Faulty: They are as following:

Right: They are as follows: [Or] They are the following:

Faulty: He tried, but of no avail.

Right: He tried, but to no avail. [Or] He tried, but his effort
was of no avail.

Faulty: There is no honor to be on this committee.

Right: It is no honor to be on this committee. [Or] There is no
honor in being on this committee.

Faulty: Sparks from the chimney caught the house on fire.

Right: Sparks from the chimney set the house on fire. [Or] The
house caught fire from the sparks from the chimney.

Note.--The double negative and kindred expressions (_not hardly_, _not scarcely_, etc.) are an especially gross form of mixed construction.

Wrong: He isn't no better now than he was then. [Logically, not
no better means _better_. The two negatives cancel each other
and leave an affirmative.]

Right: He isn't any better now than he was then. [Or] He is no
better now than he was then.

Wrong: She couldn't see her friend nowhere.

Right: She couldn't see her friend anywhere. [Or] She could see
her friend nowhere.

Wrong: We couldn't hardly see through the mist.

Right: We could hardly see through the mist. [Or] We couldn't
see well through the mist.

Exercise:

1. He doesn't come here no more.

2. I cannot help but make this error.

3. I remember scarcely nothing of the occurrence.

4. I would not remain there only a few days.

5. John would not do this under no circumstances.

=Mixed Imagery=

=35. Avoid phrases which may call up conflicting mental images. When using metaphor, simile, etc., carry one figure of speech through, instead of shifting to another, or dropping suddenly back into literal speech.=

Crude: The Republicans have gained a foothold in the heart of
the cotton belt.

Right: The Republicans have gained a foothold in the South.

Crude: He traveled a rough road and climbed with his burden the
ladder of success, where he is a glowing example and guide to
other men. [The suggestion which a reader with a sense of humor
may get is, that a man starts out as a traveler, suddenly
becomes a hod-carrier, and is then transformed into a bonfire
or a lighthouse.]

Right: He traveled a rough road, but found success. Other men
followed in his steps.

Incongruous: Spring came scattering flowers, and there was rain
a great per cent of the time. [This sentence mingles the
language of poetry with the language of science. It should be
fanciful, or else literal, throughout.]

Right: Spring came scattering flowers and rain. [Or] Spring
came with much rain and many flowers.

Inconsistent use of irony: The phonograph was shrieking, "Waltz
me around again, Willie." I am sure I love that beautiful song.
The taste of the people who attend these cheap theaters is
deplorable. [The three sentences should be ironical throughout,
or not ironical at all.]

Exercise:

1. We should meet the future from the optimistic point of view.

2. General Wolfe put every ounce of his life into the capture
of Quebec.

3. A key-note of sincerity should be the mainspring of a
well-built speech.

4. He went drifting down the sands of time on flowery beds of
ease.

5. The blank in my mind crystallized into action.

USE OF CONNECTIVES

=The Exact Connective=

=36. Use a connective which expresses the exact relation between two clauses. Distinguish between time and cause, concession and condition, etc. Do not overwork _and_, _so_, or _while_.=

Misleading: _While_ he is sick, he is able to walk. [Use
_though_.]

Misleading: Miss Brown sang, _while_ her sister spoke a piece.
[Use _but_.]

Faulty. Work hard _when_ you want to succeed. [Use _if_.]

Faulty: They will be sorry _without_ they do this. [Use
_unless_.]

Faulty: Little poetry is read, _only_ at times when it is
compulsory. [Use _except_.]

Faulty. The early morning and evening are the best times to
find ducks, _and_ we did not see many flying. [Use _and for
that reason_.]

Faulty: Corbin says: "In America sportsmanship is almost a
passion," _and_ in England "the player very seldom forgets that
he is a man first and an athlete afterward." [Use _whereas_.]

Note.--_So_ is an elastic word that covers a multitude of vague meanings. Language has need of such a word, and in many instances (especially when the relation between clauses is obvious and does not need to be pointed out) _so_ serves well enough. Use it, but not as a substitute for more exact connectives. Beware of falling into the "_so_-habit."

Abuse of _so_ as a vague coördinating connective: So I went to
call on Mrs. Woods, and so she told me about Mrs. White's new
gown; so then I missed the car, and so of course our supper is
late. [Strike out every _so_.]

Abuse of _so_ as a subordinating connective: You may go, _so_
you keep still. [Use _provided_.] _So_ you do only that, I
shall be satisfied. [Use _though_.]

Permissible: I was excited, so I missed the target.

_So_ may sometimes be used to express result. But when a clause of result is important and needs emphasis, it is perhaps better to strike out _so_ and subordinate the preceding clause.

Right: In my excitement I missed the target.

Right: Because I was excited, I missed the target.

Right: Being excited, I missed the target.

=List of Connectives=

=A. With Coördinate Clauses, expressing=

=1. Addition:= and, besides, furthermore, again, in addition, in
like manner, likewise, moreover, then too, and finally.

=2. Contrast:= but, and yet, however, in spite of, in contrast to
this, nevertheless, notwithstanding, nor, on the contrary, for
all that, rather still, but unhappily, yet unfortunately,
whereas.

=3. Alternative:= or, nor, else, otherwise, neither, nor, or on
the other hand.

=4. Consequence:= therefore, hence, consequently, accordingly, in
this way, it follows that, the consequence is, and under such
circumstances, wherefore, thus, as a result, as a consequence.

=5. Explanation:= for example, for instance, in particular, more
specifically, for, because.

=6. Repetition for emphasis:= in other words, that is to say, and
assuredly, certainly, in fact, and in truth, indeed it is
certain, undoubtedly, for example, in the same way, as I have
said.

=B. With Subordinate Adverb Clauses, expressing=

=1. Time:= when, then, before, while, after, until at last, as
long as, now that, upon which, until, whenever, whereupon,
meanwhile.

=2. Place:= where, whence, whither, wherever.

=3. Degree or Comparison:= as, more than, rather than, than, to
the degree in which.

=4. Manner:= as, as if, as though.

=5. Cause:= because, for, as, inasmuch as, since, owing to the
fact that, seeing that, in that.

=6. Purpose:= that, so that, in order that, lest.

=7. Result:= that is, so that, but that.

=8. Condition:= if, provided that, in case that, on condition
that, supposing that, unless.

=9. Concession:= though, although, assuming that, admitting that,
granting that, even if, no matter how, notwithstanding, of
course.

=C. With Adjective Clauses.= Adjective or relative clauses are introduced by who, which, that, or an equivalent compound.

Exercise:

Insert within the parentheses all the connectives that might
conceivably be used, and underscore the one which you consider
to be most exact:

1. He is not a broad-minded man; ( ) he has many prejudices.

2. A number of friends came in, bringing refreshments, ( )
we spent a delightful evening.

3. We ought to return now, for it is growing dark; ( ) I
told Mary we would be home at six o'clock.

4. I do not believe that climate is responsible for many of the
differences between races, ( ) Taine says that it is.

5. She took the letter from me and read it slowly, ( ) her
eyes filled with tears.

=Repetition of Connective with a Gain in Clearness=

=37. Connectives that accompany a parallel series should be repeated when clearness requires.=

Preposition to be repeated: He was regarded as a hero by all
who had known him at school, and especially his old school
mates.

Right: He was regarded as a hero _by_ all who had known him at
school, and especially _by_ his old school mates.

Sign of the infinitive to be repeated: He wishes to join with
those who love freedom and justice, and end needless suffering.

Right: He wishes _to_ join with those who love freedom and
justice, and _to_ end needless suffering.

Conjunction to be repeated: Since he was known to have
succeeded in earlier enterprises, though confronted by
difficulties that would have taxed the ability of older men,
and his powers were now acknowledged to be mature, he was put
in charge of the undertaking.

Right: _Since_ he was known to have succeeded in earlier
enterprises, though confronted by difficulties that would have
taxed the ability of older men, and _since_ his powers were now
acknowledged to be mature, he was put in charge of the
undertaking.

Conjunction to be repeated: He explained that the strikers
asked only a fair hearing, since their contentions were
misunderstood; were by no means in favor of the violent
measures to which the public had grown accustomed; and had no
desire to resort to bloodshed and the destruction of property.

Right: He explained _that_ the strikers asked only a fair
hearing, since their contentions were misunderstood; _that_
they were by no means in favor of the violent measures to which
the public had grown accustomed; and _that_ they had no desire
to resort to bloodshed and the destruction of property.

Exercise:

1. The place is often visited by fishermen who catch some
strange varieties of fish and especially summer tourists.

2. The worth of a man depends upon his character, not his
possessions. 3. He was delighted with that part of the city
which overlooked the harbor and bay, and especially the citadel
on the highest point.

4. Although he was so youthful in appearance that the
recruiting officer must have known he was under twenty-one, and
had not yet become a fully naturalized citizen, his effort to
enlist met with immediate success.

5. In the course of his speech he said that he was a foreigner,
he came to this country when he was fourteen years old, landing
in New York with his only possessions tied in a handkerchief,
went to work in an iron foundry, and after many years of toil
he found himself at the head of a great industry.

=Repetition of Connective with a Loss in Clearness=

=38. Do not complicate thought by persistent repetition of elements beginning with _that_, _which_, _of_, _for_, or _but_, and NOT parallel in structure.=

Complicated repetition of _that_: He gave a quarter to the boy
that brought the paper that printed the news that the war was
ended. [_That_, _which_, and _who_ are often used carelessly to
form a chain of subordinate clauses. Three successive
subordinations are all that a reader can possibly keep
straight; ordinarily a writer should not exceed two. But in
parallel structure (See 30 and 37) the number of _that_,
_which_, or _who_ clauses does not matter; a writer may
fill a page with them and not confuse the reader at all.]

Right: He gave the boy a quarter for bringing him the paper
with the news that the war was ended.

Complicated repetition of _of_: The East Side Civics Club is an
organization of helpers of the helpless of the lower classes of
the city.

Right: The East Side Civics Club is organized to help the
helpless poor of the city.

Complicated repetition of _for_: The general was dismayed, for
he had not expected resistance, for he had thought the power of
the enemy was shattered.

Right: The general was dismayed; he had not expected
resistance, for he had thought the power of the enemy was
shattered.

Complicated repetition of _but_: He was undoubtedly a brave
man, but now he was somewhat alarmed, but he would not turn
back.

Right: He was undoubtedly a brave man; though now somewhat
alarmed, he would not turn back. [Or] He was undoubtedly a
brave man. He was now somewhat alarmed, but he would not turn
back.

Note.--Guard against the _but_-habit. Frequent recurrence of _but_ makes the reader's thought "tack" or change its course too often. There are ways to avoid an excessive use of _but_ and _however_. When one wishes to write about two things, A and B, which are opposed, he need not rush back and forth from one idea to the other. Let him first say all he wants to say about A. Then let him deliberately use the adversative _but_, and proceed to the discussion of B. In the following paragraph on "Whipping Children" the writer tries to be on both sides of the fence at once.

Confusing: It is easier to punish a child for a misdeed, than
to explain and argue. _But_ the gentler method is better. _Yet_
we all admit that the birch must be used sometimes. _However_,
if it is used only for serious trangressions, the child will
have a sense of proportion regarding what offenses are grave.
_But_ for ordinary small misdemeanors I think we need a new
motto: Spoil the rod and spare the child.