Chapter XII (3)

13th.—Mr. Hume complained that at the British Museum no children are admitted under eight; and he declared that juvenile capacity for instruction was much _under-eighted_.

The same honourable member censured the locality and the expense of the New Houses of Parliament, objecting to the site of the building, and the sight of money required for completing it.

AUGUST.

1st.—Miss A. Kemble married to a count, and will, it is to be hoped, find her account in the step taken.

'Tis a pity Miss Kemble retires so soon,
When money she makes to so pretty a tune.

5th.—Prince Albert shot ninety-six rabbits in the royal preserves. The animals, anxious for the honour of seeing the Prince, fell the unhappy victims of a too fatal curiosity.

6th.—A gentleman having received a newspaper sealed with the motto, "Time flies," was charged full postage on account of "information" contained on the wrapper.

14th.—Gooseberries, apples, and pears selling for a mere nothing in Covent Garden Market, being, as the growers declared, the fruits of the Tariff.

25th.—Trial of the vagabond Bean, who was found to be one of a very inferior kidney.

SEPTEMBER.

1st.—The Queen landed at Edinburgh, the tide having risen before the Provost was out of bed.

2nd.—A return presented to Parliament of the condition of the inmates of Greenwich Hospital, when it was found that there were thirty-six pensioners who had only the right leg left.

3rd.—Covent Garden Theatre was advertised to open, but Miss Adelaide Kemble was too hoarse to sing; and though her father had so much at stake in the theatre, it was found that his daughter had no voice at all in it.

6th.—Mr. Carter bitten severely in the thumb by one of his lions. The animal was recently purchased and not used to his master, who was trying a few tricks merely to get his hand in.

12th.—An investigation into the Dover cropping case. The jailor, finding he was not to cut the hair of the prisoners, cut his own stick, and resigned his situation.

21st.—A calculation made, that the shelves of the King's Library at Paris extend to twenty miles—a proof of what extraordinary lengths some writers will go to.

OCTOBER.

1st.—It was generally suggested that banking-houses should close at four, because the system of shutting at five (after which hour there is still much to be done) has the effect of driving their business very often to sixes and sevens.

10th.—News arrived of Akbhar Khan being prepared to treat; but from such a Khan nothing can be expected but half-and-half measures.

12th.—Miss Briers and Mary Ann Morgan brought to Union Hall on a charge of having conspired to lead Mr. Woolley into another union against his will. Mr. Woolley, though evidently on thorns, and regularly caught by the Briers, declared his intention not to prosecute; he, however, commenced a suit for divorce against Mary, in reference to whom he refused to be _Molly-fied_.

HORRID MURDER.
]

Ballantyne, Hanson & Co., London and Edinburgh

TRANSCRIBER'S NOTES

1. Added Table of Contents. 2. Converted all asterisk (***) ellipses to modern (...) ellipses. 3. Silently corrected simple spelling, grammar, and typographical errors. 4. Retained anachronistic and non-standard spellings as printed. 5. Enclosed italics font in _underscores_. 6. Enclosed bold font in =equals=.

End of Project Gutenberg's The Comic Almanack, Volume 1 (of 2), by Various