Chapter XI: Part 11

Another time said the Gentleman, a couple of these bold rogues understanding that a Gentle-man was newly come from travel; and having enquired into and been acquainted with many particulars in his Journey, were resolved to get money out of him; and therefore waiting a time and place convenient, and seeing him walking with another Gentleman, one of these bold rogues thus accosts him: Sir, your very humble servant, I am very joyful to see you after your return; although you have travelled several Countries since I saw you last, yet you are not one jot alter’d: but you are, replyed briskly the Gentleman, if ever I saw you before, for to the best of my remembrance this is the first time: I shall bring you, reply’d the Confident, to be of another mind when I tell you that my name is _Mounsieur Brisack_, and that you and I travell’d many a mile together, and were very merry at such and such places, naming them; I hope Sir, continued he, that you do remember that we staid three dayes at such a place, and then departed, having very bad way, and a tedious Journey to such a place, still naming the places, and there we met with such and such Gentlemen, who continued in our companies a fortnight, all the while we staid there; and we came to such and such a place. All this reply’d the Gentleman, and all those Persons I very well remember; but indeed _Mounsieur Brisack_, if your name be so, I do not at all remember you; but since you give me so good an account of my Journey, I must needs believe you to be acquainted with me in those parts; and since you are so, I pray how doth _Mounsieur Langone_? very well, reply’d our Cheat; he intends to be here in short time, and then I will bring him to you that we may renew our acquaintance: I shall be glad of the opportunity, reply’d the Gentleman, and so good _Mounsieur Brisack_, said he, till then I shall be your humble Servant; yours Sir, reply’d the Cheat; but I pray, Sir, do you now remember me? yes, yes, reply’d the Gentleman; then I hope reply’d the Cheat, you will also remember that I did you a small courtsie in the time of our acquaintance; what was it? said the Gentleman, that I may acknowledge it; and thank you; no great matter, Sir, said the Cheat, it was but a friendly office, we ought to do so for one another at such a distance; I do not understand you, said the Gentleman; you are very forgetful, said the Cheat, but I hope that as now you remember me, so you will remember to pay me that little money you borrowed of me at such a place; I know nothing of it, reply’d the Gentleman; I lent it to you replyed the Cheat, by the same token, that your Horse was taken lame in one legg, and you were forc’d to leave him behind you, and take another: truly, replyed the Gentleman, the token is good, but I do not remember the other matter; but I hope you will, reply’d the Cheat, and pay me for your Credit-sake before it comes to the hearing of our Fellow-travellers; how much do you say it was, reply’d the Gentleman; but twenty Crowns, a small sum, and soon paid; I know you are not without so much money about you, and if you please to pay it me now, it will do me as great a kindness in receiving it now, as it did you when I lent it; well replyed the Gent. if it be so, when _Mounsieur Langone_ returns I will pay you, which you say will be in short time; I hope Sir, replyed the Cheat, you will not injure me so much as to put me to stay so long, when you promised me to pay it at our next meeting, and besides, Sir, it will not be for your Credit to let him or any of our Fellow Travellers know that you boggle at the payment of such a driblet as twenty Crowns: and thus did he importune the Gentle-man for payment, by telling him that he had now acknowledged it before witness, and that if he would not quietly pay, he would compel him to it: so that the Gentleman to purchase his quiet gave him what he demanded, lest, as he said, he should shame him.

Whilst Mistress _Mary_ was busied in the recital of what was afore delivered, and intending to have proceeded in the same discourse; she was interrupted by the return of the Captain, _Drugster_, and _Scrivener_, and _Gregory_; and her looks and colour discovered to the Capt. that she had play’d the extravagant in the use of that liberty & freedom which he freely gave her, and could not contain himself from expressing some resentments thereof: and addressing his discourse to me in a fleering manner, come Master _Meriton Latroon_ (said he) I shall know you better by degrees, and do fear I shall find you too much guilty of the humour of the _Turks_ and _Italians_, who unaturally delight in the society of young men: they are pretty Smock-fac’d Lads, how do you like them, Sir, if you could procure a change of their Sex, would not either of them serve for fine play-fellows.

I think (said I) they are best as they are, without any change; nay, with your pardon, good Captain, I know it an undeniable truth, which your own frequent experience doth, or must acknowledge; their unsuitable habits, I confess at first muffled up, or quite darkned all former knowledge of them: but you must excuse them, if they did unmask themselves to be known to one, they once preferred before their own safeties and reputations. Your sweet _William_ was once my little wanton _Mally_, whom with many more, I first beguiled by hiring my self in womans apparel, as a Servant maid in a boarding School. This other whom you call _George_, was a Country-girl, whose beauty and good feature disarm’d me in the road, as I went on the Pad, and although I had never seen her till then, I was so passionately in love with her, that I never rested till I had obtained my desires on her, which effected, I ungreatfully left her.

This said the Captain, is a thing I was wholly ignorant of till now, although from our friend _Gregory_ I have been informed of the most remarkable passages of your life: such wonderful and unheard of transactions in one man’s life, that in his relation I thought him reading to me some Legend of incredibilities.

I replyed that I had reserved this secret with some others, to be discovered as occasion should serve, and that in time, nothing should be hid from him. And now Sir, said I, you nor the rest of your friends must not entertain a jealousie that I participate and share with them in your Mistress’s affections; to be plain if your belief of that raise in you any anger or revenge, you will discover thereby your folly most egregiously; for can you expect a constancy from such, who know they cannot live, but by being inconstant; they are like such who are upon a trading Voyage, it is not one Port, but a great many that makes up their market; neither are they like some Merchants who particularly trade to one place, as to _Guiney_, _Hambrough_, &c. They are generally trucking, or vending their commodities through the Universe: _Mal_, said I, you must not be angry that I thus plainly and boldly disclose the naked truth; pray on, Sir, said she; I shall exercise my patience in hearing your rallery, but I pray tell me when you are out of breath, that I may inform you of the infirmities and frailties that belong to your more noble Sex, and spare not ours; you will not be so unjust to deny me that liberty you take your self; a match, quoth I, and therefore I shall proceed. When you were but fourteen, you began like a Nut to grow brown at bottom, which you know will then drop or fall of it self, or I might more properly compare you to forward Summer fruit, which proves mellow in the non-age of the spring, but rotts by too soon falling, when more sollid fruit shall deny the nipping frosts of an approaching Winter. There is a _Queen-apple_, and a _Bitter-sweet_ so call’d, you resemble the one in the lovely colour, the other in the distasteful _Gusto_: but since I speak of fruit, the most common resemblance is a _Medlar_, which is never good till rotten; such are you, never finer drest than in your winding sheet. Several of your Sex when married are but a parcel of _Crab trees_, wall’d in at a great charge. As for thy part, thou art like a honeycomb with a Bee in it, which infallibly stings him that tastes thereof: to be short, ye have fair tongues and false hearts; fine faces, but foul Consciences; pride prompts ye to all manner of prodigality, and lust leads ye to that loosness, which ruinates thousands in the destruction of yourselves. To conclude, I could love thee, but that thou art female, and would never have married, but that I thought it best expedient to bring me to repentance. Now Sir said she, I believe it is my time to speak, for I find by your straining, you are very needy; you have but little water left by the sucking of your Pump; I see where your plot lies clearly, by undervaluing me and our Sex, you would put our friends out of conceit with us and others, that you might make a Monopoly of our Sex; be advised Sir, your Patent will not be worth the procuring, if we are so variable and wavering, as you would falsly make the world believe, you have Marshall’d up a fair company of Metaphors, that your wit might flutter in our disparagement. Our sailing from port to port to advance our profit, is not so discomendable as you would have it, since it is rather our misfortune to meet with such Bank-rupts, Broken-merchants, who have neither stock nor credit to barter with us for our wares. Surely your wit is mightily improv’d (since your poor Poetry you writ to my friend _Doll_, which she related to me was almost all the reward she had for her lost Virginity) it skipt so nimbly from Pole to Pole, from Sea to Land, to fetch a Lean starvelin of a conceit, and that was the comparing of us to ripe Nutts, or Nutts brown at bottom as you well know; for all we are slip-shell’d were it not for truanting-waggs who rushing into our Thickets shake us down; we might hang long enough, not like your Crack-ropes: and for your likening us to fruit soon ripe, and as soon rotten, I dare confidently aver that we might remain a long time on the tree, did not such unhappy Boys as you are throw stones at us. Lastly, you say our sweets are accompanyed with stings, I know not what you mean, but I am sure you stung this Gentlewoman and my self in that manner that the swelling lasted nine moneths, and by a Mid-wife was at last delivered of our pain. To conclude, with what force can you condemn us for inconstancy? when every new face you see shall change your affection, variety shall be as so many winds to blow your amorous pretences to more points than are contained within a Compass, and when you have had, after a long Seige, the Town (you sate down before) surrendered, you fall a plundring instantly, and it may be, after this, ingratefully set the Garrison on fire; if not, at leastwise curse the time and money you spent in your Conquest, throwing it off as a thing not worth the managing and keeping: No more (dear _Mall_, said I,) no more, what hitherto I have express’d, was but a tryal of thy wit, which since I find so pregnant, thy better parts, thy mind, I will endeavour to enjoy hereafter.

All the Company was greatly pleas’d with our Drollery, and now said I, Gentlemen, without trifling the time away too much, since we know one the others past lives, and present intentions; let us enter into a serious consultation, how we may advantage each others interest here, in order elsewhere. Although you, Sir (speaking to the Captain) have been in these parts twice or thrice before, yet I question not but the knowledge I have of this Country will prove as serviceable to our design, as any others that have been here a longer time besides the advantage of my projections; the Captain with all the rest readily consented to be advised with me in every thing, as giving me the priority in all manner of Roguery. Gentlemen, said I, the love I bear my own Countrey (although all Countries indeed, should not be such strangers to us, as not to make them absolutely our own, when necessity compels us thereunto) I say, having a longing desire to see _Europe_, and return for _England_, having now gotten something considerable for a future maintenance, I shall make it my whole business to take up what commodities I can on trust, and with what I have, and my self, I resolve to accompany you homewards; and that I may be the better wellcome among you, I will be assistant to you in the buying your commodities, and procuring you a credit withal.

These proposals commanded both their thanks and embraces, and to work we went immediately. But before I proceed to tell you how, and in what manner we enrich’d our selves by cheating and deceiving the Countrey: I must give you an account, that my she-black divil, my wife, had a moneths mind to no less than a brace of white _Josephs_, I mean my two Girls in mans apparrel; I confess the temptation was great enough to have deluded any other woman of more Christian principles; when I heard of it, I thought I should have dyed by the excess of laughter, and that I might have the more sport, I ordered my two Females not to discountenance her amorous desires. I have heretofore inform’d you that she was for feature and stature as handsome, and as proper as most _Europeans_, and had a natural genius, her Sex is not ordinarily endued withal: in the time of my living with her, I had taken considerable pains to teach her _English_ of which she hath a competent understanding and utterance. Seeing me go very gentile and gallant, she disserted her own Country fashion, and thought herself obliged to be cloathed in mine, which I condescended to, not so much to please my eye, as to sport my fancy, for they became her as well as a Hat and Feather, Sword and Belt, with a Red-coat would become a _Jack-an-apes_ riding before the Bears.

We had not many _English_-women among us, however she imitated every one of them in some thing or other, so that she seemed when drest to have borrowed of at least twenty women, and those Habiliments look’d as if they had been thrown on her with a pitchfork. She being extreemly smitten in love with these 2 handsome young men, as she thought them, began now to be less careless in her dress, but what disorders she endeavoured to rectifie and amend, she made a thousand times worse; she consulted her glass, and imagining her face was not naturally fair enough, that is, not black (for blackness is esteem’d by them as beauty, and tawniness the contrary) I say to correct that natural defect by Art, she got some Lamp black, or some thing like it, by which paint she resolved to be devilish fair.

I wondred to see my pretty sweetings face, all of a sudden so strangely chang’d, but I concerning my self but little with her, never demanded how it came, but according to my usual Custome went to bed, and not long after my wife followed me: I had drank very excessively that day, by which means I slept profoundly and was not sensible what her petulancy prompt’d her to when I was asleep; but certain I am, she did so all to bekiss me, and so rubb’d the black paint off her face upon mine, that none could tell which was the blacker of the two in the morning when I arose.

I got not out of bed till an hour after all the rest of the People in the house were up, and staying somewhat longer above than I usually did, she came up into the Chamber, and perceiving my face to be black, she was at a stand, not knowing what to say, or do; but at length concluded (as she confess’d afterwards) that her God was angry with her for loving any other white besides her Husband, and therefore had taken away his white face, and had given him a black one in the room: she retired down with much more reverance than usual, and was so amazed, that she spake not a word to any below. The Captain and his friends, with several of my own acquaintance were attending my coming down, who seeing my face thus discoloured, knew me not, yet knew my voice and clothes, and though I bid them good morrow, they returned me not the like civilty, but instead thereof, ask’d me whether I was not an impudent fellow to counterfeit another voice and wear his clothes? Gentlemen said I, are ye all mad, or have ye eyes that ye dare own? I am the man I was the last night I am very certain; you may have the same body, said the Captain, but the foul Fiend stole away thy head last night for being drunk, and left his own in its room; hereupon a Looking-glass was fetcht, and put it into my hands, but I no sooner saw my face in it, but it dropt out of my hands breaking all in pieces, and with the amazement of this sudden alteration, I was just ready to expire; now did all my former roguries come fresh into my memory, believing that they, with what I was now about to act, had rode poste to the Devil to inform him what I was; that he was come to fetch me away alive, and that he had lent me this hellish face, that I might be the fitter for his company in his Journey homeward.

The Company seeing me stand so like a changeling, could not forbear laughing till they held their sides, at length one of them came, and with a wet cloth rubbing my face, restored it me again, I could not imagine who should serve me this trick, or how it should be done, but at last recollecting my thoughts, I remembred that my wife of late seemed to me to be more than usually black; whereupon I call’d her to me, and with the same cloth I made her blackness vanish too. She perceiving I was inflam’d with rage and fury, fell upon her knees, and begging my pardon, she told me every circumstance of what she had done and design’d, concealing her real contrivance; that she had painted her face in that manner to increase my love, she said, and that in kissing me and laying her face to mine, (not imagining the black would come off) she had thus discoloured my face, and would never do so again: I was so far from being Angry with her, that I could not forbear laughing heartily, which renewed the like in my friends; however I charged her never to make herself fairer than she was again, and if I found her pride extend that way, I would devest her and reduce her to the Clout, it being all the clothes the _indians_ wear, an insignificant fore covering; this troubled her more than if I should have gashed her flesh and fill’d the wound with salt, a punishment frequently used among them. Notwithstanding the ill success of her first project, yet she was resolv’d to prosecute her love but which she loved best, she could not tell, if there had been an half dozen more, she had room enough in her breasts to entertain them, and had affection to have scattered plentifully among them all.

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CHAP. XXI.

Latroon’s _Wife prosecutes her love, the manner of her extravagant
Horse-courtship, inviting them to a bowl of Punch, she forc’d them to
the Squeak, is discovered in her amours by her Husband and would have
poysoned her self to escape his anger._ Latroon _brings his new
Comrades into the acquaintance of the_ Bannian, _whom by feasting him
aboard and ashore, they make their friend in their knavish Design._

My Wife was none of those puling, whining, lovers, who not obtaining their desires, presently exclaim against the injustice of Heaven in not granting their wishes, and growing sullen to make amends for their Blasphemy, hang themselves, or cut their own throats. She had a certain way of Court-ship peculiar to herself, and a kind of Horse-play in her kissing, which was so strong and eager: that you must have a special care she did not beat some of your teeth down your throat; her embraces were as soft as a Bears, I think fully as strong, she hath made me sometimes in a merry humour, cry Oh: and therefore I cannot see how these striplings will escape with life should they be encirkled in her arms.

What kind of Rhetorick she used to perswade them with, I am not yet acquainted, but I understand she boarded them both at once and put them to the squeak, without uttering a word, and had not they fled for it, she had ransacked their carcasses to have tryed their Manhood, this made them ever after shun being alone with her, which made her so mad, that when she hath seen them in company, if by any means she could come at them, she would have pinch’d them by the arms, or else where, her fingers being as bad as a pair of pincers. She was ignorant of the way of winning them by Presents, or the subtle insinuation of fine words, varnished with love and Service; she was downright with them, if they would not love her, she would see whether she could make them; but that not doing, she was resolv’d to try whether drunkenness would operate any thing upon them. Whilst I and my new Associates were gone abroad to hasten our purposes of marching off together, she had prepar’d a Bowl of Punch, with other excellent Liquors, not omitting several Dishes of Sweetmeats; she strained her self at that time to the utmost to express her civillity and kindness, drinking often to them till at last she perceiv’d that the strength of those several Liquors they drank had elevated them; then did she in as good _English_ as she was Mistress of, tell them that she lov’d them, and they must love her, that she had never seen such pretty white men before, with that she caught one of them about the neck, the other fearing they should be now discovered, indeavored to assist her Comrade, and struggled to disengage her hands from about her neck, but she being too strong, would not disengage her hold, but by main strength brought them both down to the ground together with her; just as my business calling me home, I entred the Room wherein I found my Spouse at _Tantum Scantum_ with the two supposed young-men, tumbling all together promiscuously: I knew they could not if they would, and would not if they could make me a Cuckold, therefore I had no cause to be angry with any, but my Christian Infidel, and yet I had but little reason to be so with her, considering the brutishness of her nature, and barbarousness of her education: however so sensible she was of the injury she design’d to do me, that taking a Dagger out of her pocket, which she mightily delighted to carry always about her, she would have stabb’d her self, had I not prevented her, by forcing it out of her hands. I saw nothing but distruction and distraction in her eyes, and therefore, watcht her narrowly she would not mischief her self, or any else; she seeing that seem’d better compos’d, and stepping aside drawing a small Box out of her pocket, which she always made her _Vade mecum_, and was fill’d with the rankest poyson, she conveyed some of it into a Cup, and offer’d to drink to me, which she would have done, had I not dasht it out of her hand: she seeing me so careful of her preservation, imagined I had no evil will against her, she fell upon her knees again, and begg’d of me that I would kill her, for she deserv’d it, or take for my satisfaction as many wives as I pleas’d into the house, and she would not be offended at it in the least; I told her I would have no more wives than she, and that I would forgive her this time, so she would never do the like again.

She now trebled her diligence at home, whilst I exercised my wit abroad, among the _Bannians_ I invited one of the principal of them home to a treat, a man of vast sway, and great credit in the Country; and having acquainted my new Correspondents, or fellow Conspirators of the time of our meeting, I ordered them to appear as splendidly as they could, according to the Custome of the Country; and to be noble in their expences, all which they performed so well, that they gain’d a great esteem with the _Bannian_; Moreover I informed him privatly; that the Captain (though an Interloper) was resolv’d not to be behind hand in the lading his Ship homeward, with the best Factor in the company, having Gold enough for that purpose, and that those young men that accompanied him to the _indies_ were the sons of _English_ Lords, that had brought with them great store of Gold to see this Country, and lay it out in the Commodities thereof: he hearkened to me with much attention, and having always had a very good oppinion for me, believ’d what I said to be no less than truth, and therefore desired me that I would perswade them that he might negotiate their Affairs for them; this was the thing I desired, which I should have offer’d him, had he not so happily prevented me by his own voluntary motion, and to encourage his willingness therein, I whispered the Captain in the ear aside, informing him that the _Bannian_ was fully wrought upon, and that now he had not need to fear fraught at half credit, as I shall mannage the matter, I desired him to invite him abroad to morrow, and what friends he should think to bring along with him, which accordingly he did; after that we had been sufficiently merry together in my house, and though he was somewhat elderly, yet he was a very comely old man, and had wit and heat enough in him to play the Good-fellow: We had so liberally entertained him (and had so fitted every thing to his humour, I knowing his humour to a hair) that on his going away, he acknowledged infinite satisfaction in that he had received, promising for these civilities his utmost Service and Assistance; the Captain stopt him in his further acknowledgments, by assuring him they were nothing to what he and the Company intended for him, desiring him that he would favour them with his Company abroad the next day; the _Bannian_ gratefully accepted the proffer, for he was a person that lov’d dearly his belly, and therefore the more willing and ready to accept our _English_ treatment, which he knew was no niggardly one; but had he known what a stale purgation he should have had after all his feasting, he would have sooner swallowed a _Pagod_, than one single morsel.

About noon I found the _Bannian_ at his own house, and telling him that he was expected abroad, he made himself ready to go with me, in our way thither we met with some of his most intimate friends, and some of mine, those which I thought would further our design I singled out, and took them along with us. The Captain had made ample provision for us, and understanding from me that the _Bannian_ was obliged to abstain from some sort of meat, he had to be sure provided none thereof; having feasted with all the jollity imaginable, firing several pieces of Ordinance according to Command; now Sir, said the Captain, that you might know we come not into your company empty-handed, or that we will take up any of your Goods and Commodities without paying you for them according to contract, I will shew you something which shall be a Secret to every body else, so unlocking a Chest, he shew’d them a great quantity of his own Gold, and his Undertakers; if this be not enough, see there of this friend of mine fifteen hundred pieces, and of that mans there, five hundred, with a thousand more if occasion should serve.

This made the _Bannian_ and his friends admire to see so great a quantity of Gold, however he seem’d to take but little notice, only saying, you have a great deal of money, Sir, and we have a great deal of valuable Commodities, which you shall not want, but trust them to my procurement for you, and you shall not fail in your expectation; he spake _English_ good enough to let us understand, that he would be our Servant to do our business, and the Merchant too, to credit us if we so pleas’d. What Goods we took of him at first we paid him ready money before delivered, and by degrees caus’d him to send some abroad, and paid him three or four days after: And to the intent we might not be in the least suspected for any knavery, I advised the Scrivener, Drugster, and _Gregory_ (their Hanger-on) to give out they intended to stay in the Country some considerable while, that what goods they bought, they would send for _England_, when the Captain should return thither, and to confirm the truth of this report, they built them an house, befitting the entertainment of them, and the securing what Goods they should procure by way of Merchandize, servants I procur’d them, such as I thought would be for their turn, both Male and Female, but if they intended to have their Victuals well drest, they must not expect the Cookery from them; however they resolv’d to try the ability of their new servants, who handled the matter so scurvily, that when it was brought to Table, there was not one, but was of a different oppinion in giving a name for what was brought before them, not knowing whether it was boil’d, bak’d, broyl’d, or roasted; for the looks thereof seem’d to have a touch of them all; so that it was concluded by all that the Proverb was never better verifi’d than now; _God sends meat, and the Devil sends Cooks_; and so any Stranger would have taken them, they being of his own smoaky complexion. Wherefore to avoid these foul inconveniences of sluttish feeding, it was agreed on, that _Mall_ (alias _William_) _Doll_ (alias _George_) notwithstanding their Breeches, should officiate as Cooks, their friends should be caterers, and their menials Skullions.

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CHAP. XXII.

Latroon _in order to his returning to_ Europe _gets a great deal of
Goods, most on credit; he suspects his wife of some villanous Design,
discovers her wicked inclination, and hints at the common cause of
Cuckoldry. She under pretence of loving visit poyson’d one of the
supposed young-men, and had like to have dispatcht the other, and
afterwards kills her self: her Assistant in this Murther was found not
far distant from_ Bantam _torn to pieces by wild Beasts, three days
after the Fact._

In this Equipage our friends were in, whilst the Captain, and my self were daily bringing in Grist to the Mill; the _Bannian_ according to his promise, with speedy sedulity procur’d us what ever we desired, and to encourage his Industry had daily (almost) encouragements for his quick dispatch. Our business now ran on wheels, neither did the pleasures of our new Houskeepers slacken in their carreer, they had every thing which the Country afforded, and more, for they had two such matchless _European_ girls, which all _India_ could not parallel, whose luster was the brighter by reason of those dark and dusky foils which were always near them.

But damn’d be that cursed instrument that totally eclipst the light of those two _Wandring stars_, which must ne’er shine more in our Hemisphere. Who would have thought a wife, after so much penitence and submission (being obsequious beyond imitation) should renew her revenge, and prosecute it to death. It is true, the found me remiss in the cooling of her amorous Heats, but that from the first I used her to, that she might not expect it when it came, as a duty, but a courtesie, or a very signal favour, by reason hereof the was void of frequent expectation; had the been as white, and as lovely fair as any of my own Country-women, I would have serv’d her in the like manner; if I intended to make my wife absolutely my own. For in my time I have observ’d at least an hundred Examples of this nature; Women, whom I am confident might have ran the Race of their lives in the way of modesty and honesty, had they not been chafed or over heated at first by the ostentatious humour of their hot brained Bride-groome, striving to out-do himself, that he might purchase the esteem of being a lusty man excelling others in strength and vigour; but when the wife shall finde the satisfaction of her desires dis-continued, she will be apt to think her husband was too prodigal at first, and so became Natures Spend-thrift, and now thinks of no other thing than how she shall be supplyed by others. Others again are like some childish appetites, who feeding on some excellent Dish, they never tasted of before, and being exceeding pleasant, eat beyond measure, thinking themselves never to be satisfied, so getting a surfeit, ever after loath what they lov’d, the very sight thereof will even nauseate their stomachs. I say by stinting my wife after this manner, she could not suspect that by rambling abroad, I disappointed her expectations at home, since custom made her believe me indifferently honest. But her revenge was grounded on the Basis of equity, for since she was so far from being jealous, that she allowed me to make use of others, she judged I could not in reason dis-allow her the enjoyment of one or so, especially of my own complexion.

The removal of these two young men (as she supposed, and in that belief courted them to her embraces) she verily believ’d was occasion’d by me, and design’d that she might have no converse with them. Whilst they were in sight of her, she pleas’d her self in viewing them, but being depriv’d of that hourly happiness, she had not so much prudence as to conceal the resentment of her loss, and the injury was done her by me, but exprest (in her manner) to my very face things that carried with them suspitions of a dangerous consequence.

For the prevention thereof, I seemingly show’d much kindness unto her, giving her a many good words, & granting her with all leave to visit those two young-men, with this proviso, she would not wrong me, and all this was to pacifie for the present, till I was ready to go from the implacableness of of her revengful spirit, which is an Inmate properly not onely in her, but in all the _Indians_ her Countrey people. She seem’d hereat to be very well satisfied, but so impatient she was to have a review of them, that she went from me immediately to them, at the sight of them she represented her joy in so many antick shapes, and formes, that all which were present burst out into a great fit of laughter, which she construed in favour of her self, supposing from hence, they were over-joy’d to see her; and what made her believe it the more, was their welcoming her to their new house, in the best manner they could, drinking to her so often (in the best liquors they had) till she was half Sea-over; the heat of the PERSIAN-wine she drank, gave fire to the old train, which should kindle the Magazine of Love, which lay covert in the Cole-pit of her hellish lust; and now breaking like a Hand-granado, the pieces of the shell could not fly faster than her arms did about their necks, there was no warding them, so that they were forc’d to submit to the cruelty of her over-powerful affection. But when she insisted upon the complement thereof, they bade her then desist, for they were resolv’d never to wrong her Husband in that nature, and threatned her, that if she would not be civil, they would acquaint him therewith. Hearing them menace her after that fashion, she retreated and sate down at a distance, and seem’d somewhat pensive, but having spoke some few words to a Black that past by her in the _Indian_ tongue (which I would have understood had I been by) to which there was a sudden reply; she seem’d to throw off her melancholly and re-assume her jolly attempt, telling them that the next day she would come again, if they would make as much of her as they had done then; they told her they would.

I visiting them that evening, they acquainted me how welcome they had made my wife for my sake, how she had renew’d her love, and how preposterously she had manag’d it; in recital thereof we had good sport over a Bowl of Punch: to avoid the dangers of going home late I bade them goodnight. In the morning early coming down I found one of their female Slaves close in discourse with my wife, who seeing me vanished; I suspecting nothing, went to the _Bannian_ about my business, and that day we had so much business to do, that it was near night, before I could visit our friends, to acquaint them what progress I had made therein, and how near it was brought to consummation. But I had no sooner entred the doors, but my ears were entertain’d with the doleful groans of my two disguised _Amazons_, who lay upon a Matt on the ground, foaming at mouth with the Scrivener & Drugster, & _Gregory_ attending them, offering their utmost assistance, which was to little purpose, since they were ignorant of what they ail’d; as soon as I saw them, I knew they were poyson’d, having seen several in the like condition (a common practice among them upon the least suspition of an injury design’d, or an offence already receiv’d) but knew not what remedy to apply, and whilst I was in consultation with myself what was best to do, I saw _Malls_ teeth drop out of her head, and _Gregory_ going to raise her head, the skin and hair with it came off in his hands like a Perriwig, so did the hair of the other; so strong was the poyson administred, that _Mall_ died in less than half an hour after the reception thereof; but _Dorothy_ escaped ever to a miracle.

This sad accident had like to have converted the house into a Bedlam, for the three young men which had attended them in this disaster, were so strongly distracted at the sight of what had happened, that I thought the Devil had just then by a reentry took possession of them, or that they had taken the same potion of Poyson, which was very near as bad; believing it would work as subtlely and as nimbly on them as it had already done, (_Principiis obsta_) I ran with might and main for some Sallad-oyl, a Jarr where of I brought in the twinkling of an eye, Drink, drink, said I, to them all, quickly, quickly, one after the other, as fast as you can, which they did, not knowing any reason therefore, but that I commanded them; having even gorg’d themselves with it, and being not able to drink anymore, I poured it down their throats till I had almost choak’d them, or rather drowned them therein, they cried out to me, for the love of God to forbear, or I should kill them, judging me to be mad indeed: as they were evacuating what they had too plentifully received, the Captain whom I had left with the _Bannian_ to follow after me, came in, who asking me what was the matter? I told him particularly. He could not but shew something of trouble, but having been acquainted with all sorts of losses and miseries from his Cradle in a manner by traversing to and fro the Universe, he bore this with a patience agreeable to his courage and Man-hood, and now our friends having disembogu’d the Oyl that was within them, shew’d all the appearances of perfect health; now seeing them in a condition to return an answer to what questions I should propound to them, I ask’d what strangers they had entertained at home to day? they reply’d, None; but, said _Gregory_, let us first see whether a certain she-devil of ours be within, and then I shall tell you what I have observed; upon this we search’d for her, but could not find her, it seems the same Black I found in the morning discoursing with my wife, when having done this execrable murder, by the instigation of my other devil at home, was fled, as more plainly by and by will appear. Said _Gregory_, not full an hour since; whilst we were at the farther end of the house busied about our wares, Mistress _Mary_, and Mistress _Dorothy_, commanded some wine to be brought them, which was accordingly done by this female we now miss, and brought in a midling Cocoa-nut bowl; they were just drinking the third time round, as we came in, nay, now said _Mall_, my little merry _Grigg_, here’s to the Mistress of thy affections, speaking to me, and drinking heartily, I looking into the Bowl to see how much was left, this Black dasht the Bowl out of my hand, and because there was but little in it, I judged it onely to be an effect of her rude petulancy, and so did the rest, taking no further notice. Presently our two friends grew extraordinary ill, and though we were three to two yet they would have found work for as many more had not death thus bound one of them hand and foot, and the other seemingly dead for the present: I will lay my life, said I, I know where there is another of the Conspirators, so taking the Captain with me only, we made all the hast we could to my own house, and found by the extraordinary number of people therein, that something more than ordinary was the matter, and so there was, for my wife with her beloved Dagger, had with one home stabb made a hole through her heart, wide enough for half a score lives to go out a brest without jostling one the other.

I was not troubled to see her thus weltring in her own blood, but that she had not liv’d to be punish’d suitable to the crime she committed, if any punishment could be invented. The President of _Bantam_ hearing of this horrid Murder, sent for me, to whom I gave an ample relation as I could by information, or otherwise, who seemed very much concerned, and immediately dispatcht several in the search of the Coadjutrix to the Murderess, about three days afterwards they found (some ten miles distant from _Bantam_) a female Carkcass, turn all to pieces, the limbs thereof were gnawed in that manner, that there was little flesh upon the bones, onely the head was untouch’d, and some of the company that had seen her before, would have sworn it was the same, and therefore it was agreed upon to carry it to the President, which they did, and presently order’d to be fastned on a long Pole, for a future terror to such like Malefactors, especially the Natives.

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CHAP. XXIII.

Latroon _and his Comrades about to leave_ Bantam _and go to_ Surrat,
_having done lading their Vessel, shew some tricks to prevent
suspition of marching off, He sets sail from thence and meets with an
Enemy, an account of a most desperate and horrible fight with him. He
gives you an exact account or journal of that Voyage from_ Bantam _to_
Surrat.

Having buried our dead, we resolv’d upon a General Counsel, to see what we had done, and what we had left undone. We found that half our ready money was disburst, and that we had above half as much goods upon Credit, as our whole sum amounted to, and now resolving to make a final and speedy dispatch of all, I got all my Estate aboard not leaving any thing valuable behind me, excepting only what was in the house for the accommodation of my Guests, having an happy opportunity of conveying my own Goods with the Captains, and others that were concern’d with us the _Scrivener_, and the rest did the like.

That very day that we intended to set sayl, we were all merry at my house with the _Bannian_, and promising that the next day we would pay him what was in arrears, and also lay out five hundred peices more ready money; he seem’d highly pleas’d, leaving him, we shew’d our selves through the whole Factory with much Gallantry. The reason that we did not take in our whole loading in this Port, was the great number of _Dutch_ Vessels which lately came into the road, and more daily expected, which we knew would not only obstruct our Credit, but raise the Commodities of that place. We were fain to scuffle hard among our Country-men for what we had already, there being at that time at Anchor in the harbour several ships. And having ready money pretty store we resolved to take in the rest at _Surrat_, which place would secure us well enough, and what we had deceitfully got. Having spent most part of the day in shewing our selves in the Town, about Three of the Clock in the afternoon, it being the fourteenth day of _July_, we got aboard, as if we intended to feast it, for there was none of the whole Factory, or our _Bannian_ especially would think us so indiscreet to set sayl with half our fraught, that was my policy, and being unsuspected upon that account we might with the greater facility and security march off. Getting all our Anchors aboard in a trice, we loost our Sayls away we steer’d between the Main and _Paulo pan jan_, all the next day till six in the Evening, being then athwart the _South-salt-hill_, we steered _South-west_ and by _west_, and _west_ and by _south_, but from that hill we steer’d _west south west_, having the wind for the most part at _East south east_ with much rain, which afflicted me grievously, for my fears of some pursuing us would not let me quit the Decks till I thought we were out of all danger in being followed. The sixteenth of this moneth at noon we espy’d _Hippins_ Island _Eastward_ ten leagues off, having steer’d all night _West south west_. Latitude about 6 Degrees 38 and Longitude from _South-salt-hil_ 6 Degrees 44 _West_, the wind at _south-east_ with the help of a Currant for twenty four hours, from the sixteenth to the twenty ninth of this month, we had the winds between the _south-east_, and _east north east_, with most intolerable rains at Noon, being in latitude 11 degrees 59 _south_, and longitude 20 Degrees 35 _West_, the variation about 12 Degrees 35 _Westerly_; we sailed this month on several Courses, four hundred ninty six miles.

Mistress _Dorothy_ being indifferently well recovered though a bad spectacle to look on by reason of the skin of her body all coming off with her nails, such was the malignity of the Venome; I say, speaking as well as she could, desired me to write some lines on her dearly beloved dead Comrade, knowing that my fancy did ever incline to measure lines, and so to please my self, more than to give her satisfaction, I composed these Verses.

On the death of his _Indian_ wife, and his old
Wench.

_Start not my_ Muse, _what Paradox is this,
That the same cause works both my Woe and Bliss?
Here lies my bliss, a more than brutish Wife,
By her own Butch’ring hands bereft of life.
My Woe lies here, my murder’d Joy, Alas!
What_ Wicked hand _durst bring this_ Ill _to pass_?
Hells consistory _sate within that brest,
Which sent my_ Love _to her Eternal rest.
How happy had I been, had the_ Blest Powers,
_Enlarg’d her_ Minutes, _and have made them_ Hours.
_Turn’d these short hours into long days, that I
Might dread_ Deaths _approach, when she should dye.
But she is gone past all recal; and we
Can only weep and sigh her Elegie.
Though we don’t mourn she can no_ Mourners _lack,
Each_ Nature _is at her sad death in_ Black,
_Methinks they’re hoarse with crying, and their votes
(Being sad, and doleful) do befit their_ Coats.
_The_ Clouds _dropt tears; the_ Ayry-Quire _(which flies
Over our heads) do sing her_ Obsequies.
_Shall we be dumb, whilst Birds do use their Art?
No let’s in Sorrow bear with them a part,
When that y’ve done for_ Mall, _bereft of life,
Rejoyce with me, dead, dead’s my wicked_ Wife.

_August_ the ninth, steering _Northerly_ forty two Leagues, we found _per observationem_ the Ship to run but thirty seven Leagues, which is five Leagues less by reason of the Current which sets us the _South-wards_ Latitude at 6 Degrees 24 Longitude 36 Degrees 58 _West_ from the _Salthil_. This afternoon we were in the Latitude of the _Changus_, to the _West-wards_ of them, not seeing any sign of danger, the variation is good help if heedfully observ’d, finding about 22 Degrees when you are in 7 or 8 Degrees of _Southerly_ Latitude, a _Northerly_ course will go clear of all danger. The twelfth of this moneth we crost _Æquator_, steering _North, North east_, Latitude 10 Degrees, Seconds 85 Digits _Southerly_ Longitude 36 Degrees 51 digits _West_, the wind at _South_ and by _West_, the variation 19 Degrees, Seconds 35 Digits _West_.

The twenty-fifth of _August_ we lay a try with main course, and mizen our Drift _North_ 9 Leagues, the wind at _South west_, a fresh Gale. One of our men taking our main Top-sail, cryed out a Sail, a Sail. In a quarter of an hour by the help of my Prospective, I could discern her to be an Enemy of considerable force, about some forty four pieces of Ordinance. She made towards us with all the speed she could, and we to shorted our way, bore up to her with all the Sail we could make, so that we fetch’t up one the other quickly although we had but thirty six Guns, eight less than she carry’d, and having fewer men withal we feared her not, but ran up board and board with her before we fir’d a Gun, and then we poured in a whole broad-side into her, whilst we pepper’d them above with whole Vollies of small shot: they returned us the like kindness, which kill’d us four outright besides what were wounded. Our Captain behav’d himself very manfully, and so bestirr’d himself in the fight, shewing so clear a courage as would have animated a very Coward to fight, as for my own part the meer observation of his magnanimous behaviour, infus’d into me more valour than I thought my self capable to contain, or able to make use of: my Land-water Soldiers, the Scrivener and his two Companions, by the Captains example, and my encouraging, look’d Death as boldly, and as daringly in the face, as if they had intended to look him out of countenance, though at first no shot, either great or small went whistling by them but what made them dap their heads, as if that would secure them; that Bullet which injures man never tattles in his ear the ensuing danger; that Bullet that whistles in the Air, proclames your crown as safe from cracking, as is the Goose after she hath past through the Barn door stooping lest her lofty head should knock the top thereof.