Chapter L

Two heads are better than one--particularly on a Barrel of Money.

=LACE= Among women, lace means lesson; wherefore they combine art
and thrift by lessening the waist.

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=LACONIC= Shy on words. From Eng. _lack_, meaning want, and
_connection_; want of connection.

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=LAMP= A light.

=LAMPONED= To be lighted on.

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=LARD= Fat.

=LARDER= A fattener.

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=LARK= A short, sweet spree enjoyed by night hawks. Also, an early
rising singing-bird. (Dist. bet. "out on a lark," and "up with
the lark," an impossible combination).

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=LASSIE= One of the weaker sex.

=LASSITUDE= Slightly weaker.

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=LAUD= Praise for the Almighty.

=LAUDANUM= Prays for himself--after taking.

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=LAUNDRY= A place where clothes are mangled.

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=LAUGH= A peculiar contortion of the human countenance, voluntary
or involuntary, superinduced by a concatenation of external
circumstances, seen or heard, of a ridiculous, ludicrous,
jocose, mirthful, funny, facetious or fanciful nature and
accompanied by a cackle, chuckle, chortle, cachinnation,
giggle gurgle, guffaw or roar.

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=LAWYER= One who defends your estate against an enemy, in order to
appropriate it to himself.

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=LECTURE= An entertainment at which it costs but little to look
intelligent.

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=LEGISLATURE=

From Lat. _lego_, to bring together, and _latro_, to bark or
bluster; possibly from _lex_, law, and _latens_, unknown.
Hence, a company of men brought together to bluster, or a
company of law makers who know nothing about law.

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=LEISURE= From Eng., _lazy_, and _sure_; assured laziness.

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=LENT= A Church fast that is slow to go; or something loaned which
is slow to come back.

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=LIE= A very poor substitute for the truth but the only one
discovered up to date.

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=LIMBURGER= A native of Germany strong enough to do housework;
well recommended for cleaning out the dining-room.

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=LIBRARY= From Fr. _libre_, meaning free, and proper name =ANDY=.
Something free from Andy Carnegie.

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=LINKS= Found in sausages and golf courses, and both full of
hazards.

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=LION= A cruel beast who never patronizes the barber and is always
bearded in his den, yet will furnish a close shave if you get
near enough.

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=LOBSTER=

The edible lobster is found off the New England Coast. The
two-legged species is found everywhere. All kinds are green,
but when roasted turn a bright red. Soubrettes are very
dependent on both varieties for a living; together they
furnish her with food, raiment, flats, diamonds, and
occasionally indigestion.

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=LOBSTER-NEWBURG= A dish ordered at hotels by those who usually
get beans at home.

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=LOVE= A man's insane desire to become a woman's meal-ticket.

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=LOVER= An ardent admirer who says, "Yes, dearest, I will shovel
the snow of the lake so that we can go skating!" and, after
marriage remarks, "What! Shovel the snow off the walk for you?
Well, I should say not! I'm no chore boy."

Hell is paved with good intentions--also asbestos.