Chapter VIII: Act I: 124

SCENE I.

_Neighbourhood of Urbin._

_Enter_ HERCULES[125] _and_ RENALDO.

_Herc._ See, yonder's Urbin! Those far-appearing
spires rise from the city. You shall conduct me no
further: return to Ferrara: my dukedom, by your
care in my absence, shall rest constantly united, and
most religiously loyal.

_Ren._ My prince and brother, let my blood and love
Challenge the freedom of one question.

_Herc._ You have't.

_Ren._ Why, in your steadier age, in strength of life
And firmest wit of time, will you break forth 10
Those stricter limits of regardful state
(Which with severe distinction you still kept),
And now to unknown dangers you'll give up
Yourself, Ferrara's duke, and in yourself
The state and us? O, my loved brother!
Honour avoids not only just defame,
But flies all means that may ill voice his name. 17

_Herc._ Busy yourself with no fears, for I shall rest
most wary of our safety; only some glimpses I will give
you for your satisfaction why I leave Ferrara. I have
vowed to visit the court of Urbin in some disguise, as
thus: my son, as you can well witness with me, could
I never persuade to marriage, although myself was then
an ever-resolved widower, and tho' I proposed to him
this very lady, to whom he is gone in my right to
negotiate; now, how[126] cooler blood will behave itself in
this business, would I have an only testimony; other
contents shall I give myself, as not to take love by
attorney, or make my election out of tongues; other
sufficings there are which my regard would fain make
sound to me: something of much you know; that, and
what else you must not know, bids you excuse this kind
of my departure. 33

_Ren._ I commend all to your wisdom, and yours to the
Wisest.

_Herc._ Think not but I shall approve that more than
folly which even now appears in a most ridiculous expectation:
be in this assured,--The bottom of gravity is
nothing like the top. Once more, fare you well.

[_Exit_ RENALDO.

And now, thou ceremonious sovereignty-- 40
Ye proud, severer, stateful compliments,
The secret arts of rule--I put you off;
Nor ever shall those manacles of form
Once more lock up the appetite of blood.
'Tis now an age of man whilst we, all strict,
Have lived in awe of carriage regular,
Apted unto my place; nor hath my life
Once tasted of exorbitant affects,
Wild longings, or the least of disrank'd shapes.
But we must once be wild; 'tis ancient truth,-- 50
O fortunate, whose madness falls in youth!
Well, this is text, who ever keeps his place
In servile station, is all low and base.
Shall I, because some few may cry, "Light! vain!"
Beat down affection from desirèd rule?
He that doth strive to please the world's a fool.
To have that fellow cry, "O mark him, grave,
See how austerely he doth give example
Of repressed heat and steady life!"
Whilst my forced life against the stream of blood 60
Is tugg'd[127] along, and all to keep the god
Of fools and women, nice Opinion,
Whose strict preserving makes oft great men fools,
And fools oft[128] great men. No, thou world, know thus,
There's nothing free but it is generous.

[_Exit._

[124] In the margin of old eds. is the motto "Dat veniam corvis,
vexat censura columbas" (Juvenal, _Sat._ ii. 63).

[125] "Ercole, Duke of Ferrara, is thus noticed in Thomas's
'Historye of Italye,' ed. 1561, fol. 212:--'He is a goodly man of
personage, hyghe of stature, strong and well proporcyonate in all
his members, bald on the crowne of the head, and amiable enough
of countenance. He hath a good witte, and is somewhat learned,
and indifferent in the administracyon of justice. And one thyng
special I remember of him, worthy to be recited. The emperour, at
his being in Italy, borowed money of all handes, and demaundyng
amongst the rest a hundred thousand crownes in lone of this duke,
he brought him a bagge of fifty thousand crownes, excusyng
himself that to lend a hundred thousand crownes he was not hable,
but to geve his majestee those fifty thousand he could be
contented with all his hert; and, by this shift, kept the other
fifty thousand crownes in hys purse. Finally of the religion he
is no more earnest than most prynces are, and in his life he
foloweth the court of love, to lose no time of pleasure. He is
frendly to faire women, and cherisheth change. By his fathers
daies, he maried Madame Renea, daughter unto Lewys the xii.
French kinge.' The names of his two sons, here given, are Alfonso
and Luigi."--_Halliwell._

[126] Eds. 1. and 3. "how _his_ cooler."

[127] Eds. 1. and 3. "lugg'd."

[128] Eds. 1. and 3. "of."

SCENE II.

_Palace of the Duke of Urbin._

_Enter_ NYMPHADORO, HEROD, _and_ Page.

_Herod._ How now, my little more than nothing, what
news is stirring?

_Page._ All the city's a-fire!

_Nym._ On fire?

_Page._ With joy of the Princess Dulcimel's birthday:
there's show upon show; sport upon sport.

_Herod._ What sport? what sport?

_Page._ Marry, sir, to solemnise the princess' birthday.
There's first, crackers, which run into the air, and when
they are at the top, like some ambitious strange heretic,
keep a cracking and a cracking, and then break, and
down they come. 12

_Herod._ A pretty crab; he would yield tart juice and
he were squeez'd.

_Nym._ What sport else?

_Page._ Other fireworks.

_Herod._ Spirit of wine, I cannot tell how these fireworks
should be good at the solemnising the birth of
men or women. I am sure they are dangerous at their
begetting. What, more fireworks, sir? 20

_Page._ There be squibs, sir; which squibs, running
upon lines,[129] like some of our gaudy gallants, sir, keep a
smother, sir, with flishing and flashing, and, in the end,
sir, they do, sir----

_Nym._ What, sir?

_Page._ Stink, sir.

_Herod._ 'Fore Heaven, a most sweet youth!

_Enter_ DONDOLO.

_Don._ News! news! news! news!

_Herod._ What, in the name of prophecy?

_Nym._ Art thou grown wise? 30

_Herod._ Doth the duke want no money?

_Nym._ Is there a maid found at twenty-four?

_Herod._ Speak, thou three-legg'd tripos, is thy ship of
fools,[130] afloat yet?

_Don._ I ha' many things in my head to tell you.

_Herod._ Ay, thy head is always working; it rolls, and
it roils, Dondolo, but it gathers no moss, Dondolo.

_Don._ Tiberio, the Duke of Ferrara's son, excellently
horsed, all upon Flanders mares, is arrived at the court
this very day, somewhat late in the night-time. 40

_Herod._ An excellent nuntius.

_Don._ Why, my gallants, I have had a good wit.

_Herod._ Yes, troth, but now 'tis grown like an almanac
for the last year--past date; the mark's out of thy mouth,
Dondolo.

_Nym._ And what's the prince's ambassage? Thou art
private with the duke; thou belongest to his close-stool.

_Don._ Why, every fool knows that; I know it myself,
man, as well as the best man: he is come to solicit a
marriage betwixt his father, the Duke of Ferrara, and our
Duke of Urbin's daughter, Dulcimel. 51

_Nym._ Pity of my passions! Nymphadoro shall lose
one of his mistresses.

_Herod._ Nay, if thou hast more than one, the loss can
ne'er be grievous, since 'tis certain he that loves many
formally, never loves any violently.

_Nym._ Most trusted Frappatore, is my hand the weaker
because it is divided into many fingers? No, 'tis the
more strongly nimble. I do now love threescore and
nine ladies, all of them most extremely well, but I do
love the princess most extremely best; but, in very
sighing sadness, I ha' lost all hope, and with that hope
a lady that is most rare, most fair, most wise, most sweet,
most---- 64

_Herod._ Anything; true, but remember, still this fair,
this wise, this sweet, this all-of-excellency, has in the
tail of all--a woman.

_Nym._ Peace! the presence fills against the prince
approacheth. Mark who enters.

_Herc._ My brother, Sir Amoroso Debile-Dosso. 70

_Nym._ Not he.

_Herc._ No, not he?

_Nym._ How, is he changed?

_Herc._ Why, grown the very dregs of the drabs' cup.

_Nym._ O Babylon, thy walls are fallen! Is he married?

_Herc._ Yes; yet still the ladies' common--or the
common ladies'--servant.

_Nym._ How does his own lady bear with him?

_Herc._ Faith, like the Roman Milo, bore with him when
he was a calf, and now carries him when he's grown an
ox. 81

_Nym._ Peace! the duke's at hand.

_Cornets._ _Enter_ GONZAGO, GRANUFFO, DULCIMEL,
PHILOCALIA, ZOYA.

_Gon._ Daughter, for that our last speech leaves the
firmest print, be thus advised. When young Tiberio
negotiates his father's love, hold heedy guard over thy
passions, and still keep this full thought firm in thy
reason: 'tis his old father's love the young man moves
(is't not well thought, my lord, we must bear brain[131]),
and when thou shalt behold Tiberio's lifeful eyes and
well-fill'd veins, complexion firm, and hairs that curls
with strength of lusty moisture (I think we yet can speak,
we ha' been eloquent), thou must shape thy thoughts to
apprehend his father well in years-- 93
A grave wise prince, whose beauty is his honour,
And well-pass'd life; and do not give thy thoughts
Least liberty to shape a diverse scope
(My Lord Granuffo, pray ye note my phrase):
So shalt thou not abuse thy younger hope,
Nor afflict us, who only joy in life,
To see thee his.

_Dul._ Gracious my father, fear not; 100
I rest most duteous to your dispose.

[_Consort of music._

_Gon._ Set on then; for the music gives us notice
The prince is hard at hand.

TIBERIO _with his train, with_ HERCULES _disguised_.

_Dul._ You are most welcome to our long-desiring father.
To us you are come----

_Tib._ From our long-desiring father.

_Dul._ Is this your father's true proportion?

[_Shows a picture._

_Tib._ No, lady; but the perfect counterfeit.

_Dul._ And the best graced----

_Tib._ The painter's art could yield.

_Dul._ I wonder he would send a counterfeit
To move our love! 110

_Gon._ Hear, that's my wit, when I was eighteen old--such
a pretty toying wit had I; but age hath made us
wise. Hast not, my lord?

_Tib._ Why, fairest princess, if your eye dislike
That deader piece, behold me his true form
And livelier image. Such my father hath been.

_Dul._ My lord, please you to scent this flower.

_Tib._ 'Tis withered, lady--the flower's scent is gone.

_Dul._ This hath been such as you are--hath been, sir.
They say, in England, that a far-famed[132] friar 120
Had girt the island round with a brass wall,
If[133] they could ha' catched TIME IS: but TIME IS PAST
Left it still[134] clipt with agèd Neptune's arm.

_Tib._ Aurora yet keeps chaste old Tithon's bed.

_Dul._ Yet blushes at it when she rises.

_Gon._ Pretty, pretty--just like my younger wit--you
know it, my lord.

_Dul._ But is your father's age thus fresh--hath yet his
head so many hairs?

_Tib._ More, more, by many a one. 130

_Dul._ More, say you?

_Tib._ More.

_Dul._ Right, sir, for this hath none. Is his eye so
quick as this same piece makes him show?

_Tib._ The courtesy of art hath given more life to that
part than the sad cares of state would grant my father.

_Dul._ This model speaks about forty.

_Tib._ Then doth it somewhat flatter, for our father hath
seen more years, and is a little shrunk from the full
strength of time. 140

_Gon._ Somewhat coldly praised.

_Dul._ Your father hath a fair solicitor,
And be it spoke with virgin modesty,
I would he were no elder; not that I do fly
His side for years, or other hopes of youth,
But in regard the malice of lewd tongues,
Quick to deprave[135] on possibilities
(Almost impossibilities), will spread
Rumours to honour dangerous.

[DULCIMEL _and_ TIBERIO _confer privately_.

_Gon._ What? whisper? Ay, my Lord Granuffo, 'twere fit 150
To part their lips. Men of discerning wit
That have read Pliny can discourse or so;
But give me practice: well experienced age
Is the true Delphos. I am no oracle,
But yet I'll prophesy. Well, my Lord Granuffo,
'Tis fit to interrupt their privacy,
Is't not, my lord? Now, sure, thou art a man
Of a most learned silence, and one whose words
Have been most precious to me. Right, I know thy heart;
'Tis true, thy legs discourse with right and grace, 160
And thy tongue is constant.--Fair my lord,
Forbear all[136] private closer conference;
What from your father comes, comes openly,
And so must speak: for you must know my age
Hath seen the beings and the _quid_ of things:
I know the dimensions and the termini
Of all existence. Sir, I know what shapes
Appetite forms; but policy and states
Have more elected ends: your father's suit
Is with all public grace received, and private love 170
Embraced. As for our daughter's bent of mind,
She must seem somewhat nice; 'tis virgins' kind
To hold long out; if yet she chance deny,
Ascribe it to her decent modesty.
We have been a philosopher and spoke
With much applause; but now age makes us wise,
And draws our eyes to search the heart of things
And leave vain seemings; therefore you must know
I would be loath the gaudy shape of youth
Should once[137] provoke a[138] not-allow'd-of heat, 180
Or hinder, or------for, sir, I know; and so,
Therefore, before us time and place affords
Free speech, else not. Wise heads use but few words:
In short breath, know the Court of Urbin holds
Your presence and your embassage so dear,
That we want means once to express[139] our heart
But with our heart. Plain meaning shunneth art;
You are most welcome (Lord Granuffo, a trick,
A figure, note); we use no rhetoric.

[_Exeunt all but_ HERCULES, NYMPHADORO, _and_ HEROD.

_Herod._ Did not Tiberio call his father fool? 190

_Nym._ No; he said years had weakened his youthful
quickness.

_Herod._ He swore he was bald?

_Nym._ No; but not thick-hair'd.

_Herod._ By this light, I'll swear he said his father had
the hipgout, the strangury, the _fistula in ano_, and a most
unabideable breath, no teeth, less eyes, great fingers,
little legs, an eternal flux, and an everlasting cough of
the lungs.

_Nym._ Fie, fie! by this light he did not. 200

_Herod._ By this light he should ha' done then. Horn
on him, threescore and five, to have and to hold a lady of
fifteen. O Mezentius! a tyranny equal if not above thy
torturing; thou didst bind the living and the dead bodies
together, and forced them so to pine and rot; but this
cruelty binds breast to breast not only different bodies,
but, if it were possible, most unequal minds together,
with an enforcement even scandalous to Nature. Now
the jail deliver me an intelligencer! be good to me, ye
cloisters of bondage! Of whence art thou? 210

_Herc._ Of Ferrara.

_Herod._ A Ferrarese! what to me? Camest thou in
with the Prince Tiberio?

_Herc._ With the Prince Tiberio. What o'[140] that?
You will not rail at me, will you?

_Herod._ Who, I? I rail at one of Ferrara--a Ferrarese?[141]
No. Didst thou ride?

_Herc._ No.

_Herod._ Hast thou worn socks?

_Herc._ No. 220

_Herod._ Then blessed be the most happy gravel betwixt
thy toes! I do prophesy thy tyrannising itch shall
be honourable, and thy right worshipful louse shall
appear in full presence. Art thou an officer to the
prince?[142]

_Herc._ I am; what o' that?

_Herod._ My cap! what officer?

_Herc._ Yeoman of his bottles. What to that?

_Herod._ My lip! thy name, good yeoman of the
bottles? 230

_Herc._ Faunus.

_Nym._ Faunus? an old courtier? I wonder thou art
in no better clothes and place, Faunus!

_Herc._ I may be in better place, sir, and with them[143]
of more regard, if this match of our duke's intermarriage
with the heir of Urbin proceed, the Duke of Urbin
dying, and our lord coming in his lady's right of title to
your dukedom. 238

_Herod._ Why then shalt thou, O yeoman of the bottles,
become a maker of _magnificoes_. Thou shalt beg some
odd suit, and change thy old shirt,[144] pare thy beard,
cleanse thy teeth, and eat apricocks,[145] marry a rich widow,
or a crack'd lady, whose case thou shalt make good.
Then, my Pythagoras, shall thou and I make a transmigration
of souls: thou shalt marry my daughter, or my
wife shall be thy gracious mistress. Seventeen punks
shall be thy proportion. Thou shalt beg to thy comfort
of clean linen, eat no more fresh beef at supper, or
save[146] the broth for next day's porridge; but the fleshpots
of Egypt shall fatten thee, and the grasshopper
shall flourish in thy summer. 251

_Nym._ And what dost thou think of the duke's overture
of marriage?

_Herod._ What do you think?

_Herc._ May I speak boldly as at Aleppo?

_Nym._ Speak till thy lungs ache, talk out thy teeth;
here are none of those cankers, these mischiefs of
society, intelligencers, or informers, that will cast rumour
into the teeth of some Lælius Balbus,[147] a man cruelly
eloquent and bloodily learned. No; what sayest thou,
Faunus? 261

_Herc._ With an undoubted breast thus:--I may speak
boldly?

_Herod._ By this night,[148] I'll speak broadly first, and thou
wilt, man. Our Duke of Urbin is a man very happily
mad, for he thinks himself right perfectly wise, and
most demonstratively learned--nay, more----

_Herc._ No more--I'll on. Methinks the young lord
our Prince of Ferrara so bounteously adorned with all
of grace, feature, and best shaped proportion, fair use
of speech, full opportunity, and that which makes the
sympathy of all, equality of heat, of years, of blood;
methinks these loadstones should attract the metal of
the young princess rather to the son than to the
noisome, cold, and most weak side of his half-rotten
father. 276

_Herod._ Tha'rt ours--tha'rt ours. Now dare we speak
as boldly as if Adam had not fallen, and made us all
slaves. Hark ye, the duke is an arrant doting ass--an
ass--and in the knowledge of my very sense, will
turn a foolish animal; for his son will prove like
one of Baal's priests, have all the flesh presented to
the idol his father, but he in the night will feed on't--will
devour it.[149] He will, yeoman of the bottles, he
will. 285

_Herc._ Now, gentlemen, I am sure the lust of speech
hath equally drenched us all; know I am no servant to
this Prince Tiberio.

_Herod._ Not?

_Herc._ Not, but one to him out of some private urging
most vowed--one that pursues him but for opportunity
of safe[150] satisfaction. Now, if ye can prefer my service
to him, I shall rest yours wholly. 293

_Herod._ Just in the devil's mouth! thou shalt have
place! Fawn, thou shalt! Behold this generous Nymphadoro,
a gallant of clean boot, straight back, and
beard[151] of a most hopeful expectation. He is a servant
of fair Dulcimel's, her very creature, born to the princess'
sole adoration; a man so spent in time to her,
that pity (if no more of grace) must follow[152] him when
we have gained the room. Second his suit, Faunus;[153]
I'll be your intelligencer. 302

_Herc._ Our very heart, and, if need be, work[154] to most
desperate ends.

_Herod._ Well urged.

_Herc._ Words fit acquaintance, but full actions friends.

_Nym._ Thou shalt not want, Faunus.

_Herc._ You promise well.

_Herod._ Be thou but firm, that old doting iniquity of
age--that horny-eyed[155] lecherous duke, thy lord--shall
be baffled to extremest derision; his son prove his fool
father's own issue. 312

_Nym._ And we, and thou with us, blessed and enriched
past all misery of possible contempt, and above the
hopes of greatest conjectures.

_Herc._ Nay, as for wealth, _vilia miretur vulgus_.[156] I
know by his physiognomy, for wealth he is of my addiction,
and bids a fico[157] for't.

_Nym._ Why, thou art but a younger brother: but poor
Baldazozo. 320

_Herod._ Faith, to speak truth, my means are written
in the book of fate, as yet unknown: and yet[158] I am at
my fool, and my hunting gelding. Come, _Via_,[159] to this
feastful entertainment.

[_Exeunt._ _Remanet_ HERCULES.

_Herc._ I never knew till now how old I was.
By Him by whom we are, I think a prince,
Whose tender sufferance never felt a gust
Of bolder breathings, but still lived gently fann'd
With the soft gales of his own flatterers' lips,
Shall never know his own complexion. 330
Dear sleep and lust, I thank you; but for you,
Mortal till now I scarce had known myself.
Thou grateful poison, sleek mischief, flattery,
Thou dreamful slumber (that doth fall on kings
As soft and soon[160] as their first holy oil),
Be thou for ever damn'd; I now repent
Severe indictions to some sharp styles;
Freeness, so't grow not to licentiousness,
Is grateful to just states. Most spotless kingdom,
And men, O happy born under good stars, 340
Where what is honest you may freely think,
Speak what you think, and write what you do speak,
Not bound to servile soothings! But since our rank
Hath ever been afflicted with these flies
(That blow corruption on the sweetest virtues),
I will revenge us all upon you all
With the same stratagem we still are caught,
Flattery itself; and sure all know the sharpness
Of reprehensive language is even blunted
To full contempt. Since vice is now term'd fashion, 350
And most are grown to ill, even with defence
I vow to waste this most prodigious heat,
That falls into my age like scorching flames
In depth of numb'd December, in flattering all
In all of their extremest viciousness,
Till in their own lov'd race they fall most lame,
And meet full butt the close of Vice's shame.

[_Exit._

[129] Cf. Dekker and Webster's _Northward Ho_ (1606), iv. 3:--
"_Bell._ But what say you to such gentlemen as these are?
"_Bawd._ Foh! they, as soon as they come to their lands, get
up to London and like squibs that run upon lines, they keep a
spitting of fire and cracking till they ha' spent all; and when
my squib is out what says his punk? foh, he stinks!"

[130] "Ship of Fools"--an allusion to Sebastian Brandt's famous
work, translated by Alexander Barclay.

[131] "Bear brain" = be shrewd, wary.

[132] Eds. 1. and 3. "farre found."

[133] Old eds. "If that they could have," &c. (The speech is
printed as prose in old eds.) The "far-famed friar" is of course
Friar Bacon. See the extract from _The Famous History of Fryer
Bacon_ appended to Dyce's edition of Robert Greene's _Friar Bacon
and Friar Bungay_.

[134] Ed. 2. "hill."

[135] Defame. "Mesdire. To _deprave_, reproach, revile, rayle
on," &c.--_Cotgrave._

[136] Ed. 2. "all, all."

[137] Old eds. "one."

[138] Old eds. "and."

[139] Ed. 2. "oppresse."

[140] Ed. 2. "to."

[141] Old eds. "Ferazees."

[142] So ed. 2.--Ed. 1. "princes;" ed. 3. "princesse."

[143] Ed. 2. "you."

[144] Eds. 1. and 3. "sute."

[145] "_Abricot_, the abricot or _apricocke_ plum."--_Cotgrave._

[146] Eds. 1. and 3. "have thy broth."

[147] Old eds. "Baldus."--Lælius Balbus was a noted informer in
the days of Tiberius. When he was banished (A.D. 37) there was
great rejoicing because "_truci eloquentia habebatur, promptus
adversum insontes_" (Tacitus, _Ann._ vi. 48).

[148] Quy. "light"?

[149] "The allusion is to the story of Bel and the Dragon in the
Apocrypha."--_Dilke._

[150] Eds. 1. and 3. "false."

[151] Eds. 1. and 3. "head."

[152] Eds. 1. and 3. "follow him second.... Serv'd his," &c.

[153] Old eds. "Hercules."

[154] Eds. 1. and 3. "workes."

[155] Old eds. "only eyed."

[156] Ovid, _Amores_, xv. 36.

[157] See Dyce's _Shakesp. Glossary_.

[158] The meaning is--"And yet I contrive to keep my fool," &c.

[159] See note, p. 20. [Transcriber's Note: Footnote [27]]

[160] So the old eds.; but quy. "soote" (sweet)?