Chapter II: Part 2

Coming to the place of Execution, I could not see in my Hosts face any considerable marks of remorse or penitency, only the fear of Death had screwed his face into a hundred ugly affrighting formes: She for her part ascended the Ladder after she had seen the death of her Husband, with magnanimity and Courage; having been in Prison according to report, the greatest Penitent that ever was known to go thence and suffer as a Malefactor, I say she standing undauntedly on the Ladder, spake to the People after this manner, which I here recount as carrying some very remarkable things in it.

The Speech of a Notoriously-wicked Woman
at her Execution.

_Christian People, the greatness of my sins have cry’d loud to Heaven for Vengeance a long time, but Mercy hath interceded for the prolongation of my life, to give me a long and fair opportunity for Repentance, but this long forbearance hath but hardned my heart, and made it obdurate; so that my black and horrid Sins grew so numerous that they awakened divine Justice (which hitherto seemed to sleep) to find me out, and bring me to this shameful and condign punishment. As I am here before you a sad spectacle of misery, so I hope you will beg of God mercy for my poor sinful soul, which from my Cradle to this time hath been polluted not with Crimes of a common Die, but such as were conceived in the Womb of Hell, and Midwiv’d by me into this wicked world. What Tragical unpattern’d Mischiefs they have acted on the Theatre of my native Countrey, my tongue (that cursed Accessary in the ruine of some Families) shall not conceal from you, since I cannot hide them from the knowledge of God Allmighty._

_When I was so young I wanted power to perpetrate Villany, I had strong inclinations to the acting thereof; I was no sooner wean’d, but I had like to have killed that Mother who gave me life, by pricking her in the naked breast with a Bodkin I took out of her Head-cloaths, she being then half asleep, holding me in her Lap, when I arrived to the age of fifteen, the boiling of my blood would not let me rest till I had somewhat qualified its heat in the unlawful reception of a young man, after which sinful act I found my self with Child, to prevent the shame whereof I murdered it, thinking to hide one smaller sin by the greatness of another; the death I am about to suffer should have been the reward of that execrable murder; and I now wish it had been so, for then I had not strangled in the very birth (to abscond my whoredom from my Husband) a Child, the product of my insatiate lust with a_ Blackmoor, _who afterwards lost his own life in the destructions of my Husbands; neither had I been the cause of the death of two more, had I not been the basely obscene Prostitute to them both._

_But one more remarkable murder then any yet I have related, I must not conceal, the burden whereof lies like a mountain on my already over-loaded Conscience. Passing one time for a maid, though then a common debauched whore, this Inn-keeper, (my fellow-sufferer, and justly so, since he was my Co-partner and Complotter in a thousand Roguish Contrivances) courted me to be his Wife: being informed of his wealth I easily condescended, not regarding his goodness so much as his Goods, and lest he might find what I was on our Nuptial Night; I caused a pure, but poor Virgin whom I hired to lye in my place for that time, but over-sleeping her prefixt time I had appointed for my exchanging places with her, I was forc’d to fire the house, in which confusion she running down to a Well in the yard to get water, I pursued her, and partly to be revenged, and partly to be secured from her future discovery, I tumbled her into the Well, and there she perished: As to the last murther of this Gentlemen, I must needs confess my Husband, though superlatively wicked, had no inclination thereunto, had I not perswaded him; nay, upbraided him with pusillanimity and cowardize if he would not be my Coadjutor and Assistant therein. Now do I wish from the bottom of my disconsolate Soul, I had as many lives as deaths I have occasioned, to offer up as a Sacrifice which might expiate so many crying sins of murder, as I have committed in my life time, this one is too small a satisfaction for the loss of so many. And had I not forfeited it to the Law, yet I ought not to live, considering the debauched course of life I ever liv’d, being no more than a rank stinking weed, which hindred, nay choak’d the growth of wholesom herbs and flowers, which otherwise might have proved delightful in their fragrancy._

_And now to conclude, if you intend to escape this shameful punishment, and not to be made an example to others, as I am now to you, shun all these Vices and Debaucheries which have dragged me to this accursed end, and do not promise to your selves a better conclusion, if from the beginning thereof you continue the prosecution of vicious and debauched Courses; I was as confident as any he or she here, that hanging was too ignominious a death for such a piece of Gallantry as I was, but assure your self Heaven has no respect of persons; the Sword of Justice spares no more the shining Gallant and huffing_ Bravo, _than the meanest smutty Tinker; And so desiring the Prayers of the Spectators for her, having rendred her private Applications for her eternal concern, she gave the sign to the Hangman, and she was so turned off._

* * * * *

This speech of the dying person Mistress _Dorothy_ rehearsed to me, with so much passion, giving each word so becoming an accent, that I must confess to you it wrought wonderfully on me, nay it so startled me, that I now began to consider what would become of me since laying aside murder, (having never imbrewed my hands in blood) I was more notorious in all manner of Vice than the narrowness of a female Soul could be capable of imagining much less of acting, why should I then humor myself into a fancy of escaping, since I have seen so many dismal Examples of this nature, some whereof I have told you, and more I shall of my intimates in the prosecution of my Story, who notwithstanding they have craftily endeavoured to conceal their nefarious actions and projections, yet have been found out by the omnipotent, nay then when they thought him to sleep over their hainous transgressions, which puts me in mind of an excellent passage of _Juvenal_, though he be a Heathen, in his Satyr 13.

——————— _Fatebere tandem
Nec surdum, nec tiresiam, quenquam esse Deorum._

_Let us confess, since we at last shall finde,
None of the Gods are either deaf, or blind._

Craving pardon of Mistress _Dorothy_, I desired her to proceed, which she did in this manner: Having staid the Execution of my old friend (which was no small trouble to me,) but durst not be present lest she should discover my Rogueries too, since she was so ingenious to acknowledge her own to the world; I say, I staid no longer than to get what things I had ready, and desiring the Soldier to attend me to _London_, he had so much favor from his Office, as to get a furlow for eight weeks, and so away we march’d: Immediately after our arrival, I took Lodgings in _Covent-Garden_, and having cloath’d him like a Gentleman as he was, we agreed to call each other Cousin, lodging under one and the same Roof. His company was very agreeable and complaisant, which made me take a great delight in his society. He had a good command of his Mother-tongue, expressing every thing eloquently and facetely, which his invention furnished his mouth withal; when at any time we were alone, he would be continually telling me one Story or other, but chiefly a great many beyond Sea Cheats, some whereof he was an eye-witness, but because they all concerned his own Sex, I desired that he would give himself the trouble to recount something of ours; undoubtedly, said I, you were acquainted with the females abroad as well as at home, and I cannot be so ignorant to believe you have not conversed with them. Yes, replyed he, or else I had been to blame, and should have lost one of the principal ends I went for, If I had not been acquainted as well with the _Madam_, as the _Monsieur_; but, continued he, I do not think it proper to recount any of the frailties of women to one of that Sex, that discourse is more proper with men when we triumph and boast of our witty encounters, and waggish over-reachings of that Sex. But, replyed I to him, as you have done all this, and spent some time in the recitals, so I pray let me further engage you to acquaint me with somewhat of that nature. That you may see, replyed he, how much I am your Servant, I will obey you, and tell you two Stories of two women, who were excellent, and their Stories considerable different.

CHAP. III.

_The Gentleman Soldier gives an account how he came acquainted with an
extraordinary beautiful, yet seemingly reserved_ Courtezan, _who
slighting him having spent all upon her, he makes himself amends, by
cheating her of what she had gotten; he gains acquaintance with a
Mercers Wife by a mistake, or rather by Letters falling accidentally
into his hands, that were sent her by her_ Inamoretto, _by which means
he finds a sufficient reward, besides his sensual enjoyment of so
lively and grateful a Mistress._

Be pleased to know then, continued he, that when I came first into _Paris_, I supposed that as I was young, handsome, and in a very rich gentle Garb, so I did believe that it would not be long e’re I should have some Message or invitation from some Madam or other, but although I waited long for this Adventure, yet I met with nothing to that purpose, but all the _French_-Ladies although they are in their converse open and free, yet come up close to them, and they are as cold as _December_ or that which is colder, Charity, they would not at all be so charitable to me a stranger, as permit me to close with them, so that I thought I must have returned from thence as wise as I went, for any thing I should know of women; I finding that of my self I could not do any thing, therefore I observed those of my acquaintance what they did in that Case, and at length I found that for all their braggs they were as well furnished with Mistresses as I was, and indeed had none, or at the least none at all that they durst particularly own, but a poor common _Courtesanna_: I seeing there was no better to be had, was resolved rather than fail to put in there, and to play at small Game rather than stand out: wherefore I took the next opportunity of going with one of my acquaintance to one of those houses, but although I had fasted a great while, yet my stomach was so squeamish that I liked nothing that was there, but only in drinking and talking spent some time and so departed.

I was observed whilest I was there by an old grave Matrona, who two or three days after, meeting me, alone, told me that she had seen me at the house aforesaid, by which she could guess at my business, and finding that there was never a Dish that liked my Pallat, and being desirous to be civil to, and accommodate all strangers, she would pleasure me so far, as to bring me acquainted with the most celebrated beauty of all _Paris_. I liked her Proposition; first gave her thanks, and then told her if she would name the time and place, I would gladly wait on her; She told me that she was ready at all times and in all places to serve me, and that I might therefore appoint what time I pleas’d. I who had no business but my pleasure answered that if she would about four of the Clock in the afternoon come to the Place where we then were, I would not fail to meet her, she telling me that she would come at the time, we parted; I went to sprucifie my self and put Money in my pocket, and she went as I suppose to prepare the Madam to receive me. The time being come, I went to the place appointed, where I met with my Conductress who already waited for me, I went with her, and in short time we arrived at the house intended, I was conducted up stairs, and received by the Lady with much kindness; the old woman made a Speech to us both, tending to the purpose intended, and then wine being call’d for and a Banquet, we regalled our selves, and spent our time in pleasant conversation; the old woman knowing what I came for, in convenient time left me alone with the Lady, who permitted me to take the satisfaction I desired, and then I giving her a handful of Crown-pieces, which was the key of the work, and she promising me a continuance of her love. The old woman was again call’d for, when she came we renewed our discourse, which continuing for some time longer, I also giving somewhat to the old woman, and the Servants of the house, we soon after parted.

As I went to my lodging I considered of the Adventure I had met with, and the next day enquired what this Lady was, and upon enquiry found that she was a Right _Bona Roba_, but such an one that was not ordinary, but reserved, and only kept company with the better sort of _Monsieurs_, I was well enough pleas’d, with what had happened, and was resolved during my stay in _Paris_ to look no further after any female, and accordingly I often frequented her house, and was received as kindly as I could expect, I commanded the house in all I pleased, and lay there when I thought good; but this my pleasure consumed and confounded my pocket, and my allowance from _England_ being but small, was in short time so wasted that I could not hold out to spend so largely as I had done, and as the strength of my pocket decreased, so did her love diminish, and when I had no more mony, she had no more love. _No longer pipe, no longer dance_, and now as others had formerly been denied, and kept out of her doors, to entertain me, so then the doors were shut against me for others; I was vexed at the baseness and ingratitude of this woman, and resolv’d to be revenged of her if I could, and I made it my only study to do so, I had written into _England_ for mony, which was in short time to come, till when I plaid the good husband, and staid within doors, and so recovered my expences, so that when my mony came, I was in Capacity to put new Cloaths on my back, and good store of Crowns in my pocket, I likewise borrowed some Rings of some of my acquaintance, to whom I communicated my design, desiring their assistance, which they accordingly promised me. Being thus well furnished, and set out with good outside, new Clothes, I again attempted to see my _quondam_ Mistress, but was the first time denied entrance, although I was so liberal as to give the Servant a Crown-piece, and thereby had the means to discover that I had more of the same in my pocket, but the next time that I came thither, I was admitted, and my Mistress pleasantly saluting me, told me that I was very welcome from my Voyage: I ask’d what Voyage? she told me from _England_; I replyed I had not been there lately; she told me that then some body had abused her and me both, and told lies of me; for, said she, I did not question if you had been in these parts, but I should have seen you, where you alwaies have been welcome; for, continued she, you know that so long as I have a house you may command your welcome in it; I but, thought I, to little purpose, and concluded that all these terms of welcome were but words of Dissimulation, and would last no longer than my money did in pocket, but being resolved to prosecute my design, I would not so far take notice of what she said as to quarrel with her about it, but using my former wonted freedom, I sate down, and call’d for such Wine and other things as I had a mind to, and spent two or three hours very pleasantly with her; and by that means renewing my acquaintance, I gave no occasion of distrust of what I intended. During my stay there, I gave her the convenience of seeing a rich Gold Watch I had in my pocket, and several Rings I had on my fingers, and that my pockets were very well lyned with Silver and Gold, and drawing out as much as was sufficient, I delivered it to her Servant to provide a Supper against the next night, when I told her I would return and sup, and lye there, she telling me I should be welcome, we for that time parted. I then went to two or three of my acquaintance who were to help me in my Design, and directing them what to do, the time appointed being come, I went to her house, and knowing that my Mistress was a great Lover of wine, and that it would be necessary to make her drunk, I carried some bottles with me; being arrived there, she again kindly welcomed me, and pleas’d her eyes with beholding my rich Suit of Cloaths, my Watch, Rings, and the fulness of my pockets, not questioning but that I would leave a good part of these behind me, but she reckoned without her Host, as I shall presently tell you.

Supper being ready we sate down at the Table, and did eat plentifully, but did drink more abundantly, I telling her that she must be merry, she to oblige me drank of her Cups so roundly, that she fell asleep as she sate at the Table, from whence I caused her to be carried to bed, where she was no sooner laid, but she fell a snoaring. I then having given the Servants a dose of the same Liquor caused them to go to Bed, telling them that I could undress my self, and go to bed without their assistance.

I then being alone looked about to see what was to be done, I there saw a Cabinet wherein was the womans Jewels and money, and looking a little further I saw her Cloathes, and some Plate, and not long after my friends whom I had appointed being come, I began to work, first I threw down out at the window her best Cloathes, and all my own, and by the help of her Garters I let down the Cabinnet, her Plate, and so much as the silver Candlestick which we had used; this done, I left the window open, and then went to Bed to my Lady, who although she slept hard at present, yet before morning she awaked, and then we spent our time as we formerly had done; and being somewhat wearied, we again went to sleep, but about an hour after awaking and finding that it was broad-day-light, I called out for the Servant to bring me my Clothes that I might rise, in regard (as I said) that I had some business to dispatch that morning. But the Servant looking about for them and not seeing them, nor her Mistresses, nor the Cabinets, nor the Candlesticks, and missing many things, which she had over night left in the Chamber, and seeing one of the Chamber windows open, she cryed out, O Lord Madam, we are robb’d; at this cry her Mistress drawing the Curtain, ask’d what was the matter for that noise? O Lord, replyed the wench, we are robb’d, for I cannot see your Clothes, your Cabinet, your Plate, nor several other things. Heavens forbid, said the Mistress, I hope you lye; no truly Mistress, continued the wench. Where then, said I, is my Clothes? They are likewise stolen, replied the Wench, for I cannot find them. At this word I seem’d to be mightily astonished, and thereupon I said,

Madam, put these Tricks and Gulleries upon others, and not upon me, who can see through all your disguises, what do you intend, or think to chowse me in this manner? How, my Love, replyed she, what do you say? Now you see I am utterly ruin’d, is this all the comfort you will give me? No, no, replied I, you must sing another song, or else i’le make you, because you saw I came hither with good Clothes, and my pockets cramm’d with Money and Jewels, you think to catch me with this trick, making me believe that you have been robb’d, but I swear to you, continued I, that you shall not carry it thus, and that I will go to the Magistrate and have you and your Family every one of you clapt up; and having thus said, I leapt out of the Bed; and naked as I was in my shirt, I went to the window and cryed out Thieves. This poor woman now more dead than alive, seeing that beside her great loss, she was likely to receive a great affront, leap’d also out of the Bed, and falling about my neck, with lifted up hands, and tears in her eyes, begg’d of me to have pity on her, and that now after she had lost all, I would not go to ruine her quite in her Reputation; I therefore seemed to be moved with her Prayers, but said to her, must I be forced to live here for want of Clothes to go out? No (replyed she) go to Bed again, and I will send to one of my friends to borrow a suit of Clothes for you, and thereupon she immediately sent away to a _French_-Knight who was one of her Gallants, to borrow one of his best Suits of Clothes, pretending that she had a fancy to disguise her self in mans apparel. The Messenger soon returning, and bringing a fair Suit of Clothes, and all other necessaries, I arose, dressed my self, and taking my leave of my Mistress, went to my friends, where upon examination of my Cabinet, I found that I had increas’d my stock to above twice as much treasure as I had spent upon her, and a good Suit of Clothes into the bargain: He having finished his Story (said Mistress _Dorothy_) I told him he was very hard hearted to use a poor Lady so, and one who had been so kind to him, and that although she had refused him admittance when all his Mony was spent, there is some reason for it, for it is possible said I, you would have brought her and your self into extream beggery; well, replyed he, I know you are not a competent Judge in this case, and therefore I was unwilling to acquaint you with any of these matters; but, continued he, I will if you please, proceed in the other story I promised you, and so conclude.

I desiring him so to do, he went on thus: I being in this manner, said he, revenged of one Mistress, did resolve to leave her off quite, lest she should in time pay me off in my own Coin, and did endeavour to get another, but could not meet with or find any to my mind; but I and one of those of my acquaintance who had assisted me in my late exploit, one day talking of our female friends, told me that indeed, although he had not gain’d so much by a Mistress at once as I had done by mine, yet he had such a Mistress as had bin not only pleasing, but very profitable to him, for said he, I can command fifty or a hundred Crowns at any time; I marry Sir, said I, that is a good Mistress indeed, and is more than ordinary; yes replyed he, she is no ordinary person. I hearing him say so, knew it was to no purpose to ask her Name and Quality, but did resolve so to watch him that I would find it out, I usually therefore kept him Company and like his shadow still attended him, but he being as cunning as I was crafty, so privately mannag’d his amours, that I could not possibly find him out, I therefore sometimes lay with him, and took the opportunity of searching his Pockets for Letters, but found none, so that I was very doubtful of attaining my Ends, which was to discover who this unknown invisible Lady was, I finding that my acquaintance was too close to get any thing out of, was resolved to take another course, and since I could not out-wit the Master, try if my Boy could out-wit his; I therefore instructed my Boy in what he was to do, and ordered him to get in with the other, and get out of him one time or other, whether he did not carry Letters to any Persons, and to whom. My Boy was not so long about his Discovery as I had been about mine, for in a short time he told me that the Boy was often employed to carry Letters to a Mercers Maid, who lived in the next street, and also to a Carrier who conveyed Letters to an Unkle; I now partly knowing the Who, was desirous of knowing the What, and therefore ordered my Boy by one means or other to get one of his Letters and bring it unto me. He so well discharged himself in this employ, that it was not long e’re he brought me one. I being very curious to know the Contents, soon opened it, for heating a Knife in the fire, I put it under the Seal, which melted the Wax in that place, and so it was open, wherein I found these expressions. Madam,

I _am very sorry that I am so unfortunate, that in the term of fourteen days I have not had the happiness of waiting on you, sure the old man is grown jealous, or which is worse, you begin to slight me, or else some expedient might have been found to have deceived him: I shall say no more at present, referring the rest of my Complaints till I see you, which happy minute I beseech you hasten, or else you will very much afflict_

_Your constant Friend_,

S. N.

When I had read the Letter, I was almost as much to seek as I was before, because it was directed to one who was a Servant to the Mercer, but upon second thoughts I concluded, that although it was directed to the Maid, yet it might be intended to the Mistress, as indeed it was; I having read the Letter, melted some wax and sealed it again, the impression of the old Seal remaining as fair as formerly. My Boy who brought it me, asked if he should carry it again; I first, before I answered him, enquired of him how he came by it? he told me thus, that the other boy told him he had Letters to carry for his Master; and therefore, said he if you will go to the River and wash, I have, said he a good excuse; I (said my boy) told him that I would go with him if he would go strait, then to the River; he replyed, he was commanded to carry the Letter first, but I perswaded him to go first to the River, to the end that I might serve you in what you commanded, and therefore being come to the water, I did not make so much hast as he, but let him go to in, so soon as he was in the water, I searching his pockets, and finding this Letter came with all speed and told the other boys that were there, that I would go in at a place a little further, and swim down to them; and so, Sir, said he to me, I made all possible haste, and have here brought the Letter; I having heard his Tale, commanded him to run with all expedition, and put the Letter into the boyes pocket, he did so, and was not at all discovered, or suspected. I having thus gained some knowledge in my friends amours and being desirous to discover more, walked out to the Street where the Mercer dwelt, where I saw both man and wife in the Shop, there was much disparity in their years, for he seemed to be seventy, and she not above twenty four, I presently guessed that this must be she, and therefore pretending to buy, I went into the Shop, where I was shewed several Stuffs by her, he sitting at the further end of the shop coughing by himself; she had such a winning way in perswading me to the goodness and cheapness of the Stuff, that although I had no intention to buy, yet I laid out some money with her, she was perfectly handsome, and it had been great pity if she had onely been tyed to that old Carcass, but I knew that she had a friend who could do her business for her, and all that I then wished, was that I might be in his place, and take his turn; and this I was resolved to do, or stretch my wit on the tenters of invention.

The next day my Boy brought me another Letter, which was from my Companions Unkle, and I having opened that as I had done the former, found that his Unkle was sick, but however intended to be in _Paris_ in few days, and then he would supply him with the money he desired; I closed the Letter again, and the boy conveyed it to the place where he had it, _viz._ the other boys pocket, who gave it to his Master two hours after when he returned home, being for the present gone out; by this Letter I understood that he had his maintenance from his Unkle, and that he had lately written for some, and that this was the answer: I took exact notice of his Unkles name, and writ it down in my Table book; I being desirous to discover from himself what I partly knew already, to that end I walked out with him, and engaged him to go into that Street where the Mercer dwelt, but although we did so, and I then curiously observed him, yet he did not so much as cast an eye into the Shop, although the Woman and her Husband were both there, but I remember turning down by that Shop into a blind Lane, he looked towards a back-door, which I then perceived was belonging to that house, and which I guessed might be the way whereby he went to his Mistress.

I having made all these inspections into the matter in hand, was resolved to make some further use of my experience. When about ten days after my boy came sweating to me, and told me that he had gotten another Letter, which the other boy received in his Masters absence, who would not be back in two hours, but then he must deliver it to him; who brought it? said I, a Porter: said the Boy; I hearing this had a mind to have delivered it back again without opening, because I did suppose it came only from his Unkle, or some other Friend, about some ordinary affairs, not judging that a Letter of Love would be sent by an ordinary Porter; I was in this determination, which had I followed I should have thought my self very unfortunate, but a curiosity possessing me, I resolved to see the Contents, wherefore using my former way of heating my Knife, I opened the Letter and therein found these Lines:

My dear Friend,

I _hope at your last visit I gave you satisfaction in every thing, especially why I had not seen you for fourteen days before, I must confess it was a long time of absence and you may assure your self that I thought it so as well as you, I also hope that you have no suspition of my constancy, and that you may assure your self of my love to you, I have provided the hundred Crowns you desired, if you come on Thursday night about eleven of the Clock to our Back door, our trusty Servant will let you in, and conduct you to a Chamber, where I will attend you, but I must engage you not to speak to me, for I am in great fear of your being over-heard, by my Husbands Kinswoman, who lies the next wall to me, and is very curious over me; follow these directions and you shall engage_,

_Your constant Friend_,
M. L.

How much was I surpriz’d in the reading of this Letter, you may easily judge, but you may be sure I was resolved not to part from it, but now I concluded I might put my Design in practice; I had not long consulted with my self what to do, but I had resolved my self in all doubts and scruples; and therefore taking Pen, Ink and Paper, I writ this following Letter:

Sir,

Y_our Unkle, according to his intentions of coming to_ Paris, _was come so far as my house, but was there taken so sick, that he could not, neither is he able at present to proceed in his Journey, and doubting that he will be worse, hath ordered me to send to you that you may be acquainted with it, and withal, that you may come to him, he not being able to come to you, therefore expects you here with all the expedition you can make, this is all at present from_

_Your loving Friend,_

_though unknown_,

L. T.

This Letter being thus written, I dated it two days before, and subscribed it from an Inn in a Town forty miles off from _Paris_, it was directed to him in the usual manner and form; and so having seal’d it, I gave it my Boy, who soon conveyed it to the place where he had the other. And that my Project might take effect, I went immediately to find him out, resolving to keep him continually in my sight, and oversee all his Actions, from the time he should receive his Letter, till I should see him on Horseback, on his Journey. I soon found him out, and went home with him, where the Boy gave him the Letter, he opened it, and retired, I gave him the conveniency of reading it, which he soon did, and coming up to me, told me that he had hasty News; is it private? replyed I; no, said he, but I think I must leave your company for a few days; when, said I? To morrow morning, said he; that is much! replyed I, sure it is hasty News indeed, if you must be gone so soon; yes truly, said he, you may see the Letter, and then you may judge of the matter; hereupon he delivered me the Letter, which I having read over, told him that indeed if this Unkle, who was sick, was as nearly allied to him in friendship, as he was in consanguinity, that then it was necessary he should suddenly obey his orders. He is, replyed he, not only my Unkle, but my Father, For I never knew no other Father I had, for my Father his Brother died, when I was but six months old, and left me and my Estate to his disposing; neither continued he, hath he any Child or Relation nearer than I am; I told him that if it were so, I would advise him not to let any time slip, but to take Horse and be gon that night; he was unwilling so to do, for, said he, I have another affair to dispatch that is of considerable consequence. I supposing it was his Love business, and being resolv’d to bear him off from all proceeding therein at the present, fearing lest he should send some Letter, and so my design would be frustrate; I therefore said, that nothing whatever should hinder me from present going, if I were in his condition, and if he would communicate his other affairs to me, I would act for him all I could to my power; he answered me that the affairs he meant were of such a quality, that none but himself could dispatch; I replyed that I then supposed they might be of some Love-concern, to this he only laughed, and finding that he had a great inclination to do somewhat in that nature that might spoil my design; I therefore used so many arguments with him to cause him to begin his Journey, that I saw him that Evening on horseback, with a resolution to ride twenty miles onwards of his Journey that night, that so he might reach the end of it the next day betimes.

And now I having dispatch’d him out of the way, did not question but I might accomplish my design as I had determin’d. It was but then but Tuesday night, and the time appointed by the Letter was Thursday night, so that till then I waited with some impatience, but the hour being come, I went to the Place, which was the Back-door, which I had formerly taken notice of. I was so desirous of finishing the Adventure I was about, that I had made more haste than ordinary, and being come somewhat before the precise time, I was forced to wait, not daring to knock lest I should offend. But long I had not staid, before an adjoyning Clock struck eleven, and within less than a minute afterwards the door opened, and a Female looking out, and seeing me walk, beckoned me to come on; I did so, and without one words speaking, entred the house, and following my Conductress close at the heels, went up stairs, and coming to a Chamber-door, she only said, now Sir, you may enter there to your and my Mistress, and stay till I come and call you, which will be about two hours hence, but I pray be sure you talk not, lest that discover you; I listened attentively to what was told me, and promising obedience only by a Bow which I made, the Servant left me, and I entred the Chamber; although there was no Candle, yet I could see where the Bed stood, and going thither I saw my Mistress whom I saluted, and then retiring pul’d off my Clothes and leap’d into Bed to her, I lay down by her, and during the two hours time I staid, you may be sure I was not idle, I made no noise by speaking, knowing that it might be of dangerous consequence in a double manner; and the two hours being come, our attendant came and told me it was time to rise. I though unwilling enough did so, and putting on my Clothes was soon dress’d, and coming once more to kiss my Mistress, she told me softly that in the window in a Purse was the hundred Crowns she promis’d, I making her a profound Reverence, and kissing her hand, went thither, and finding the Purse, put it into my pocket, and the Maid hastning me, I departed, when she came to the Back-door, she told me that e’re many days, she would find a way how I might enjoy my Mistress with more freedom; I pulling a Crown out of my pocket, put it into her hand, and bade her goodnight: And thus, said the young Gentleman, did I obtain my Ends upon this Gentlewoman; and (said he) I being now entred was resolved to proceed, and therefore the next day went again by the door, and seeing none but her self in the Shop, I entred, and desired to see silk enough for a New Suit; she shew’d it me, and I soon agreed on the price, giving her own demands, but when I came to pay, and drew out the purse she had given me, which was a very remarkable one; she looked very wishfully on it; Nay Madam said I, it is the same I receiv’d of you last night; how! replied she, am I betraid then? No dear Madam, said I, there is no Treachery in the Case, onely the excess of my love to you, made me run a great hazard; I hope, Sir, replyed she, you are not guilty of any murder of my former friend: no Madam, (said I) I have only by a piece of Wit remov’d him at present; well, Sir, (replied she) you seem to be a Gentleman of that temper that you will not wrong a Woman, I have not time or opportunity to discourse you at large, but that I might engage you to secrecy, I not only freely give you the money you have in possession, but also I desire you to accept this Stuff you intended to buy, and I pray with your first conveniency let me have an Account of this strange Adventure; I had hardly time to answer her (You shall Madam) but her Husbands Kinswoman came near us, all that I could do was to deliver the parcel to my Boy, and making the ordinary Reverence, I departed.

CHAP. IV.

_Mistress_ Dorothy _finishes the Story of the Gentleman-Soldier and
Mercers Wife; who being returned to_ England, _renews his Suit to his
old Mistress, though married to another, whose weakness made the match
unsuitable, whose Estate depending on an Heir, and this Husband
uncapable of getting one, gave the Gentleman that opportunity whereby
he at once had a Wife, an Heir, and an Estate._

Thus (continued the young Gentleman) did I initiate my acquaintance with this woman, which is one of the best and pleasantest Adventures of my life, and indeed, said he, I have no cause to complain of women, for that Sex hitherto hath been very lucky to me, as you may guess by my Story of the _Courtezan_, whose Cabinet and other things I conveyed away; and now by this second _French_ adventure I was likely to gain more, and that more honourably than by the other. But, continued he, in six days after my Companion returned from his Journey; I asked him if we must not all have Stables; Why? said he; because, replied I, I suppose that your Unkle is dead, and hath left you all he hath: No such matter, replied he, but I could wish that he were hang’d that writ the Letter; why? said I, I think it was very carefully done, of him, and that he deserved not only thanks, but a Reward; I should reward him if I knew who he was, said he: Why, cannot you find him? said I; No, nor no body else, said he, there is no such sign nor no such man, living in or near that Town, nor in all that Countrey, that I could hear of; but I hope (said I) there was and is such an Unkle; yes, reply’d he, and Heavens be praised, in health too, but I was forc’d to go further a field to find him, for after I had spent a whole day in fruitless search for the Host, who sent the Letter, and could not hear of any Tale nor Tidings of him, I being within thirty miles of my Unkles habitation, thought it very proper to ride on thither, and so I did, but when I came I found him well and lusty, I shewed him the Letter, and thereby he knew the occasion of my Journey, but he knew not who writ it, and he and I both concluded it was a trick put upon me, however we were joyful to see one another well, and he intended to take a journey to _Paris_ in few days, to order me some moneys, but since I was come my self, he resolved to desist from that Journey, and give me Bills of Exchange, fain he would have engaged me to have staid there for some days longer, but telling him I had affairs of consequence to dispatch at _Paris_, that required my presence, he gave me leave to depart; and so, said he, with all possible expedition I am returned: and you are very welcome (replyed I) but this was a very strange adventure of the Letter, and I cannot tell to what purpose, nor I neither said he, but I hope to find it out, for I preserve the Letter carefully. I gave him the hearing, and now knowing his thoughts, I believed my self obliged to mind his Actions; as for the Letter he had, and his Design of finding out the Writer of the Letter by the hand, I knew he could not, for although I writ it, yet it was in such a hand as I never writ before, and which I then writ on purpose not to be discovered by it, if he should be acquainted with my hand, as hitherto he was not, wherefore I car’d not for that, but my chiefest care was in charging my Boy to watch his, and knowing that he would suddenly write a Letter to send to his Mistress, I commanded him to use all possible diligence to get it into his Custody, and bring it to me, as being a matter of very great consequence.

My Boy followed my directions so carefully, that he attained his ends, but with much difficulty, for no sooner was my friend parted from me, but he writ a Letter to his Mistris, and giving it to the Boy, charged him immediately to carry it: My Boy who waited all his motions, seeing him running with a Letter in his hand, asked him what haste? great haste, said the Boy, and would have proceeded, but my boy caught hold on him, and said, how now, what is your haste so great that you cannot spare time to drink with your friends? time enough for that anon, said the Boy, and would have proceeded; but my Boy knowing how strictly I had charged him about this Letter, was resolv’d by Hook or by Crook to be Master of it, and therefore told him, that although he had not been so civil as to give him his Foy when he went out (for he had been the Journey with his Master) yet he would now give him his Welcome home. The other understanding there was drink in the case, and that of free-cost, went in with him to the next Drinking house, and my boy knowing what a work he had in hand, calling for a quart of Wine, desired a Room above stairs, so that up they went, and my Boy intending to fuddle the other, cheated him in his drink, for after two or three Glasses were off, and the other boy began to be merry, my Boy drank water, and the other wine, so that in short time he was knock’d down, and fell asleep; and it was not long e’re he took the Letter out of his pocket, and that he might make all sure, he lock’d the Chamber door, bringing the Key with him, and thus he securing the Letter, and boy both; came to me, and brought me the Letter, which I immediately opened, and read these words:

Madam,

E_ver since that fortunate Minute wherein I first had the happiness to be acquainted with you, my stars I thank them have been very propitious to me; and Dame Fortune (how unconstant soever she hath been to others) hath yet been to me very favourable, so that till within these few days I could boast that no malevolent Planet hath had any malign influence in my ascendant; I thought and hoped I should have lived and died in this opinion; but I now have cause enough to change my mind, for I have lately had such a cross adventure, that I yet know not what to think of it, but if all be right and well with you, I then bid defiance to fortune; Madam, I am very unquiet and much puzzeld, so that I know not how to begin, nor well know what to say to you, but hoping you will pardon this impertinence, and attribute it to my perplexity; I shall thus plainly begin with you, and this it is: Madam, about ten days since when I last was with you, among other Requests I desired a hundred Crowns of you for a present use, till my Vnkle whom I every day expected should come to Town; in regard you never refused me anything, I did not doubt of that, and therefore expected to hear from you accordingly, but just at that time when I expected a Letter from you, I received one from my Vnkle, as I thought, whereby, as that Letter inform’d me, I thought it absolutely necessary to leave_ Paris, _and go to him forty miles, to a Town where he lay sick, I was perswaded to be gone immediately, and indeed over-rul’d by an intimate friend, and one that I have so great a respect for, that I had no reason to suspect, and what he urged being as I thought reasonable: I soon mounted on Horse-back, and departed, I must beg your pardon that I did not acquaint you with this sudden remove, but it was impossible to do it without suspition of my Friend from whom I have hitherto conceal’d our amours, as I have done from all the world besides._

_This Letter which I received, I found was but forged, and written on purpose to cause me to leave the City, but if in my absence I have not received some prejudice in your opinion, I account all the rest of my trouble and vexation as nothing, wherefore I pray Madam, let me know in what condition I am with you, and whether you know any thing, and what you do know of this Adventure, and I shall always remain_

Your constant Friend

S. N.

When I had read this Letter, I found that half my work was done to my hand, for I was resolved to write to this woman, and now having a fit opportunity I writ as followeth.

Madam,