Chapter XLVIII: Petticoat Parliament

"'We must do our aspiring sisters the justice to say that
several of them made very good speeches, and manifested a
real talent for debate _quite equal_ to that displayed by
half the he-fellows we send to Congress. * * * We opine
nothing serious will come of these Women's Rights'
Conventions. If it amuses the darlings, to insist upon doing
their own voting and fighting, let 'em talk on. If they go
too far we can adopt measures and _compel them to do their
own kissing_! They must have recreation of some kind, and
this is a good substitute for fancy balls, expensive
millinery, &c. _Strong-minded women have a soul above
buttons._ Let the blessed angels weep and resolve if it
relieves their minds.'"--_New York Sunday Times._

Now I'll wager a pair of new kid gloves that the writer of the above article is a _whole-souled, loveable, handsome son of Adam_. If all the men were like him the women would lay down _their_ arms and take _his_!--there'd be no more drumming up recruits for petticoat parliaments--they'd 'resolve' to stay at home and 'do as they oughter.' I think there should be a _raffle_ for him! (You don't find such a man every day!) He takes a liberal view of things--you don't catch _him_ but toning his coat up to his chin, folding his arms, strutting round and looking daggers at us, like the rest of the men. No, he isn't on the 'anxious seat'--HE isn't! He just takes off his hat to us, like a gentleman, and says, with an irresistible smile:--'Dear ladies--there's a soft place in your hearts _somewhere_, after all. _Who's afraid!_ Your gunpowder plots will all end in smoke! Three cheers for the ladies!' Now THAT'S doing the thing handsomely.

"Nobody but a _very_ 'wiry sister' could hold out against such an incarnation of good-humored gallantry. It's only the _bad husbands_ who see their own ugly _mental_ phizes in the looking-glass these 'female philanthro-pesses' hold up to them, that raise such a breeze about it. 'It's only the _truth_ that wounds,' as the French proverb says.

"If _I_ had been of that convention, I should just draw off my glove, shake hands with that 'Sunday Times' writer, and sign an _everlasting and repentant_ recantation of all incendiary resolutions,--now, henceforth and forever! Pass him round; send us a lock of his hair!--give us his daguerreotype!"