Chapter XV: Act II: Scene I

_A Room in_ PRIMERO’S _House_.

_Enter_ PRIMERO, _meeting_ MISTRESS NEWCUT.

PRI. Mistress Newcut, welcome: here will be choice of
gallants for you anon.
MIS. N. Is all clear? may I venture? am I not seen of
the wicked?
PRI. Strange absurdity, that you should come into my
house, and ask if you be not seen of the wicked!
push![483] I take’t unkindly, i’faith: what think you of
my house? ’tis no such common receptacle.
MIS. N. Forgive me, sweet master Primero: I can be
content to have my pleasure as much as another, but I
must have a care of my credit; I would not be seen; any
thing else. My husband’s at sea, and a woman shall have
an ill report in this world, let her carry herself never
so secretly; you know’t, master Primero. And what choice
of gallants be they? will they be proper gentlemen,
think you?
PRI. Nay, sure they are as proper as they will be
already.
MIS. N. I must have choice, you know; I come for no
gain, but for sheer pleasure and affection.
PRI. You see your old spy-hole yonder; take your
stand, please your own eye. I’ll work it so the
gallants shall present themselves before you, and in
the most conspicuous fashion.
MIS. N. That’s all I can desire—till better come.
[_Aside._]—Look you.
PRI. What mean you, lady?
MIS. N. A trifle, sir, to buy you silver spurs:
Good sir, accept it. [_Gives money, and exit._
PRI. Silver spurs? a pretty emblem! mark it; all her
gifts are about riding still: the other day she sent me
boot-hose wrought in silk and gold; now silver spurs.
Well, go thy ways, thou’rt as profitable a spirit as
e’er lighted into my house. Come, ladies, come, ’tis
late; to music,—when?[484]

_Enter Courtesans and Novice._

FIRST C. You’re best command us, sir!—Our pimp’s grown
proud.
PRI. To fools and strangers these are gentlewomen
Of sort and worship, knights’ heirs, great in portions,
Boarded here for their music;
And oftentimes ’tas been so cunningly carried,
That I have had two stolen away at once,
And married at Savoy,[485] and prov’d honest
shopkeepers:
And I may safely swear they practis’d music;
They’re natural at prick-song. A small mist
Will dazzle a fool’s eye, and that’s the world:
So I can thump my hand upon the table
With an austere grace, and cry one, two, and three,
Fret, stamp, and curse, foh, ’twill pass well for me!

_Enter Boy._

How now, sirrah?
BOY. They’re coming in, sir, and strangers in their
company.
PRI. Tune apace, ladies.—Be ready for the song, sirrah.

_Enter_ GOLDSTONE, PURSENET, FRIPPERY, TAILBY, FITSGRAVE
_disguised, and_ BUNGLER.

GOL. Nay, I beseech you, gallants, be more inward[486]
with this gentleman; his parts deserve it.
PUR. Whence comes he, sir?
GOL. Piping hot[487] from the university; he smells of
buttered loaves yet; an excellent scholar, but the
arrantest ass! For this our solicitor, he’s a rare
fellow five-and-forty mile hence, believe that: his
friends are of the old fashion, all in their graves; and
now has he the leisure to follow all new fashions, ply
the brothels, practise salutes and cringes.
PUR. O!
GOL. Now, dear acquaintance,
I’ll bring you to see fashions.
FIT. What house is this, sir?
GOL. O, of great name: here music is profess’d;
Here sometimes ladies practise, and the meanest,
Daughters to men of worship,
Whom gentlemen, such as ourselves, may visit,
Court, clip,[488] and exercise our wits upon;
It is a profess’d courtesy.

FIT. A pretty recreation, i’faith!
GOL. I seldom saw so few here: you shall have ’em
sometimes in every corner of the house, with their
viols[489] betwixt their legs, and play the sweetest
strokes; ’twould e’en filch your soul almost out of your
bosom.
FIT. Pax[490] on’t, we spoil ourselves for want of these
things at university.
GOL. You have no such natural happiness: let’s draw
near.
PRI. Gentlemen, you are all most respectively[491]
welcome.
GOL. We are bold and insatiate suitors, sir, to the
breath of your music, and the dear sight of those
ladies.
PRI. And what our poor skill can invite you to,
You’re[492] kindly welcome: you must pardon ’em,
gentlemen,
Virgins and bashful, besides new beginners;
’Tis not a whole month since they were first enter’d.
GOL. Seven year in my knowledge. [_Aside._
PRI. They blush at their very lessons; they’ll[493]
not endure
To hear of a stop, a prick, or a semiquaver.
FIRST C. O, out upon you!
PRI. La, I tell you;—you’ll bear me witness,
gentlemen,
If their complaints come to their parents’ ears,
They’re words of art I teach ’em, nought but art.
GOL. Why, ’tis most certain.
BUN. For all scholars know that _musica est ars_.
ALL THE C. O beastly word!
PRI. Look to the ladies, gentlemen.
GOL. Kiss again.
PUR. Come, another.
TAI. This [is] a good interim. [_Exit._[494]
PRI. What have you done, sir?
BUN. Why, what have I done?
PRI. Saw you their stomachs queasy,[495] and come with
such gross meat?
BUN. Why, is’t not Latin, sir?
PRI. Latin? why, then, let the next to’t be Latin too.
PUR. So, enough.
GOL. Nay, I can assure you thus far, I that never knew
the language have heard so much that _ars_ is Latin for
art; and it may well be too, for there’s more art in’t
now a-days than ever was.
PRI. Is’t possible?
I’m sorry then I’ve[496] followed it so far.
FIRST C. A scholar call you him?
PRI. Music must not jar:
The offence is satisfied. Come, to the song;
Begin, sir.
[_The song: and he[497] keeps time, shews several
humours and moods: the Boy in his pocket nims
away Fitsgrave’s jewel here, and exit._
BUN. Not a whole month since you were entered, ladies?
FIT. None that shall see their cunning will believe
it. [_Aside._
PRI. It is no affliction,[498] gentlemen.
BUN. I care not much, i’faith, if I write down to my
father presently to send up my sister in all haste, that
I may place her here at this music-school.
MIS. N. [_peeping in_] ’Slid, ’tis the fool my cousin! I
would not for the value of three recreations he had seen
me here.
PRI. How like you your new prize?
FRI. Pray, give me leave; I have not yet sufficiently
admir’d her.
PRI. My wits[499] must not stand idle. ’Slife, he’s in a
sick trance!
GOL. A cheat or two among these mistresses
Would not be ill bestow’d; I affect none,
But for my prey: such are their affections,
I know it; how could drabs and cheaters live else?
Then since the world rolls on dissimulation,
I’ll be the first dissembler. [_Aside._
FIRST C. Prithee, love, comfort, choice,
My only wish, in thee I am confin’d!
Deny me any thing, a slight chain of pearl?
PUR. Nay, and it[500] be but slight——
FIRST C. Being denied,
I prize it slight; but given me by my love,
Light shall not be so dear unto my eye,
Mine eye unto the body, as the gift.
PUR. How have I power to deny this to you,
That command all? my fortunes are thy servants,
And thou the mistress both of them and me.
[_Gives her the chain._
FIRST C. The truest that e’er breath’d!
GOL. To a gentleman
That thus so long and so[501] sincerely lov’d you
As I myself, ne’er was less pity shewn.
SEC. C. Why, I never was held cruel.
GOL. But to me.
SEC. C. Nor to you.
GOL. Go to, ’t’as scar’d you much.
SEC. C. I’m sorry your conceit is so unkind
To think me so.
GOL. When had I other argument?
I’ve often tender’d you my love and service,
And that in no mean fashion;
Yet were you never[502] that requiteful mistress
That grac’d me with one favour;
’Slight, not so much as such a pretty ring;
Pax[503] on’t, ’t’as almost broke my heart.
[_Takes off her ring._
SEC. C. Has took it off:—’Sfoot, master
Goldstone![504]
GOL. Nay, where a man loves most, there to be scanted!
SEC. C. My ring, come, come——
GOL. What reckon I a satin gown or two,
If she were wise?
SEC. C. Life! my ring, sir, come——
GOL. Have you the face, i’faith?
SEC. C. Give me my ring.
GOL. Prithee, hence; by this light you get none on’t.
SEC. C. How?
GOL. I hold your favours of more pure esteem
Than to part from ’em; faith, I do, howe’er
You think of me.
SEC. C. Push,[505] pray, sir——
GOL. Hark you, go to;
You’ve[506] lost much by unkindness; go your ways.
SEC. C. ’Sfoot!
GOL. But yet there’s no time past; you may redeem it.
SEC. C. Come, I cannot miss[507] it, i’faith; beside,
the gentleman that bestowed it on me swore to me it cost
him twenty nobles.[508]
GOL. Twenty nobles? pox of twenty nobles!
But you must cost me more, you pretty villain:
Ah, you little rogue!
SEC. C. Come, come, I know you’re but in jest.
GOL. In jest? no, you shall see.
SEC. C. No way will get it:
As good give it him now, and hope for somewhat.
[_Aside._
GOL. True love made jest!
SEC. C. I did but try thy faith,
How fast thou’dst hold it. Now I see a woman
May venture worthy favours to thy trust,
And have ’em truly kept; and I protest,
Had I drawn’t from thee, I should ne’er ha’ lov’d thee;
I know that.
GOL. ’Sfoot, I was ne’er so wrongèd in my life!
Think you I’m[509] in jest with you? what, with my love?
I could find lighter subjects you shall see;
And time will shew how much you injure me.
SEC. C. The ring, were it[510] thrice worth, I freely
give,
For I know you’ll[511] requite it.
GOL. Will I live?
SEC. C. Enough.
GOL. Why, this was well come off now:
Where’s my old serving-man? not yet return’d?
O, here he peeps. [_Aside._

_Enter_ FULK.

Now, sirrah?
FULK. May it please your worship—they’re done
artificially, i’faith, boy.
GOL. Both the great beakers?
FULK. Both, lad.
GOL. Just the same size?
FULK. Ay, and the marks as just.
GOL. So, fall off respectively[512] now.
FULK. My lord desires your worship of all love——
GOL. His lordship must hold me excused till morning;
I’ll not break company to-night. Where sup we, gallants?
PUR. At Mermaid.[513]
GOL. Sup there who list, I forsworn the house.
FULK. For the truth is, this plot must take effect at
Mitre.[514]
[_Aside, and exit._
PUR. Faith,[515] I’m indifferent.
BUN. So are we, gentlemen.
PUR. Name the place, master Goldstone.
GOL. Why, the Mitre, in my mind, for neat attendance,
diligent boys, and—push![516] excels it far.
ALL. Agreed, the Mitre then.
PUR. Boy[517]—some goodness toward:[518] the boy’s whipt
away. [_Aside._
FIT. The jewel, heart, the jewel!
GOL. How now, sir? what mov’d you?
FIT. Nothing, sir;
A spice of poetry, a kind a’ fury,
A disease runs among scholars.
GOL. Mass, it made you stamp.
FIT. Whew,
’T’ill make some stamp and stare, make a strange noise,
Curse, swear, beat tire-men,[519] and kick players’
boys;
The effects are very fearful.
PUR. Bless me from’t!
FIT. O, you need not fear it, sir.—Hell of this luck!
GOL. Hark, he’s at it again!
PUR. Some pageant-plot, or some device for the
tilt-yard:
Disturb him not.
FIT. How can I gain her love,
When I have lost her favour? [_Aside._
GOL. What money hast about thee? Look you,[520] sir, I
must be fain to pawn a fair stone here for ordinary
expenses: a pox of my tenants! I give ’em twenty days
after the quarter, and they cut out forty.
FRI. Why, you might take the forfeiture of their leases
then.
GOL. I know I might; but what’s their course? The rogues
come[521] me up all together, with geese and capons, and
petitions in pigs’ snouts, which would move any man,
i’faith, were his stomach ne’er so great; and to see how
pitifully the pullen[522] will look, it makes me after
relent, and turn my anger into a quick fire to roast
’em—nay, touch’t and spare it not.
FRI. ’Tis right: well, what does your worship borrow of
this, sir?
GOL. The stone’s twenty nobles.[523]
FRI. Nay, hardly.
GOL. As I am a right gentleman.
FRI. It comes near it indeed: well, here’s five pound in
gold upon’t.
GOL. ’Twill serve; and the ring safe and secret?
FRI. As a virgin’s.
GOL. I wish no higher.—What, gallants, are you
constant?
Does the place hold?
ALL. The Mitre.
GOL. Sir, in regard of our continued boldness and
trouble, which love to your music hath made us guilty
of, shall we entreat your worship’s company, with these
sweet ladies, your professed scholars, to take part of a
poor supper with myself and these gentlemen at the
Mitre?
FRI. Pray, master Primero——
PUR. I beseech you, sir, let it be so.
PRI. O, pardon me, sweet gentlemen; the world’s apt to
censure. I have the charge of them, they’re left in
trust, they’re virgins: and I dare not hazard their
fames; the least touch mars ’em: and what would their
right worshipful parents think, if the report should fly
to them, that they were seen with gentlemen in a tavern?
GOL. All this may be prevented: what serves your coach
for?
They may come coach’d and mask’d.
PRI. You put me to’t, sir;
Yet I must say again, I fear the drawers
And vintner’s boys will be familiar with them,
And think ’em mistresses.
PUR. There are those places where respect seems
slighter;
More censure[524] is belonging to the Mitre;
You know that, sir.
PRI. Gentlemen, you prevail.
GOL. We’ll all expect you there.
PRI. And we’ll not fail.
FRI. The devil will ne’er dissemble with them so,
As you for them.
GOL. Come, sir.
FRI. What else? let’s go.
[_Exeunt all except_ PRIMERO, _Courtesans, and Novice_.

_Re-enter_ TAILBY.

PRI. How cheer you, sir?
TAI. Faith, like the moon, more bright,
Decreas’d in body, but re-made in light:
Here thou shalt share some of my brightness with me.
PRI. By my faith, they’re[525] comfortable beams, sir.
FIRST C. Come,
Where have you spent the time now from my sight?
I’m jealous of thy action.
TAI. Push![526] I did but walk
A turn or two in the garden.
FIRST C. What made you[527] there?
TAI. Nothing but cropt a flower.
FIRST C. Some woman’s honour, I believe.
TAI. Foh! is this a woman’s honour?
FIRST C. Much about one,
When both are pluck’d, their sweetness is soon gone.
TAI. Prithee, be true to me.
FIRST C. When did I fail?
TAI. Yet I am ever doubtful that you[528] sin.
FIRST C. I do account the world but as my spoil,
To adorn thee:
My love is artificial to all others,
But purity to thee. Dost thou want gold?
Here, take this chain of pearl, supply thyself:
Be thou but constant, firm, and just to me,
Rich heirs shall want ere want come near to thee.
_Tai._ Upon thy lip I seal sincerity.
[_Exit First Courtesan._
SEC. C. Was this your vow to me?
TAI. Pox, what’s a kiss to be quite rid of her?
She’s su’d so long, I was asham’d of her:
’Twas but her cheek I kiss’d neither, to save her
longing.
SEC. C. ’Tis not a kiss I weigh.
TAI. Had you weigh’d this,
’T’ad lack’d above five ounces of a true one;
No kiss that e’er weigh’d lighter.
SEC. C. ’Tis thy love that I suspect.
TAI. My love? why, by this—what shall I swear by?
SEC. C. Swear by this jewel; keep thy oath, keep that.
TAI. By this jewel, then, no creature can be perfect
In my love but thy dear self.
SEC. C. I rest [content]. [_Exit._
TAI. Ha, ha, ha! let’s laugh at ’em, sweet soul.
NOV. Ay, they may laugh at me;
I was a novice, and believ’d your oaths.
TAI. Why, what do you think of me? make I no
difference
’Tween[529] seven years’ prostitution and seven days?
Why, you’re but in the wane of a maid yet.
You wrong my health in thinking I love them:
Do not I know their populous[530] imperfections?
Why, they cannot live till Easter, let ’em shew
The fairest side to th’ world, like hundreds more,
Whose clothes
E’en stand upright in silver, when their bodie[s]
Are ready to drop through ’em: such there be;
They may deceive the world, they ne’er shall me.
NOV. Forgive my doubts;
And for some satisfaction wear this ring,
From which I vow’d ne’er but to thee to part.
TAI. With which thou ever[531] bind’st me to thy
heart. [_Exit Novice._
[_singing_] _O, the parting of us twain
Hath caus’d me mickle[532] pain!
And I shall ne’er be married
Until I see my muggle again._
MIS. N. [_peeping in_] Hist!
PRI. Ha?
MIS. N. The nimble gentleman, in the celestial
stockings——
PRI. Has the best smock-fortune to be beloved of women.—
Valle loo lo, lille lo lillo, valle loo lee lo lillo!
TAI. Valle loo lo, lille [lo] lillo, valle loo lee lo
lillo!
MIS. N. Ah, sweet gentleman, he keeps it up stately!
[_Aside._
PRI. Well held, i’faith, sir: mass, and now I remember
too, I think you ne’er saw my little banqueting box
above since I altered it.
TAI. Why, have you altered that?
PRI. O, divinely, sir! the pictures are all new run over
again.
TAI. Fie!

PRI. For what had the painter done, think you? drew
me Venus naked, which is the grace of a man’s room,
you know; and, when he had done, drew a number of
oaken leaves before her: had not lawn been a hundred
times softer, made a better shew, and been more
gentlewoman-like?
TAI. More lady-like a great deal.
PRI. Come, you shall see how ’tis altered now;
I do not think but you’ll like her. [_Exeunt._

SCENE II.

_A Street._

_Enter_ FITSGRAVE.[533]

FIT. My pocket pick’d? this was no brothel-house!
A music-school? damnation has fine shapes:
I paid enough for the song, I’ve[534] lost a jewel
To me more precious than their souls to them
That gave consent to filch it. I’ll hunt hard,
Waste time and money, trace and wheel about,
But I will find these secret mischiefs out.

_Enter Servant._

How now? what’s he?
O, a servant to my love: being thus disguis’d,
I’ll learn some news. [_Aside._]—Now, sir? you belong to
me.[535]
SER. I do, sir; but I cannot stay to say so: nay, good
sir, detain me not; I am going in all haste to inquire
or lay wait for a chain of pearl, nimmed out of her
pocket the fifth of November, a dismal day.
FIT. Ha! a chain of pearl, sayst thou?
SER. A chain of pearl, sir, which one master Fitsgrave,
a gentleman and a suitor, fastened upon her as a pledge
of his love.
FIT. Ha!
SER. Urge me no more, I have no more to say;
Your friend, Jeronimo Bedlam. [_Exit._
FIT. Thou’rt a mad fellow indeed.
Some comfort yet, that hers is missing too;
I feel my soul at much more ease: both stoln![536]
When griefs have partners they are better borne.
[_Exit._

SCENE III.[537]

_A Room in the Mitre._[538]

_Where are discovered_ PRIMERO, _Courtesans_,
_Novice_, GOLDSTONE, PURSENET, FRIPPERY,
TAILBY, BUNGLER, FULK, ARTHUR, _Boy_, _and
Servant_.

PRI. Where be your liveries?
FIRST C. They attend without.
PRI. Go, call the coach. [_Exit Servant._]—Gentlemen,
you have excelled in kindness as we in boldness.
TAI. So you think amiss, sir.
GOL. Kind ladies, we commit you to sweet dreams,
Ourselves unto the fortune of the dice.—
Dice, ho! [_Exit_ PRIMERO.
FIRST C. You rest firm mine?
TAI. E’en all my soul to thee.
[_Exit First Courtesan._
SEC. C. You keep your vows?
TAI. Why, do I breathe or see?
[_Exit Sec. Courtesan._
NOV. Is your love constant?
TAI. Ay, to none but thee. [_Exit Novice._
Now gone, ay, now I love nor them nor thee;
’Slife, I should be cloy’d, should I love one in three.

_Enter_ FITSGRAVE.

PUR. O, here’s master Bouser now.
FIT. Save you, sweet gentlemen.
TAI. Sweet master Bouser, welcome.
PUR. When come these dice?
[_Within._] Anon, anon, sir.
PUR. Yet anon, anon, sir!
GOL. Hast thou shewn art in ’em?
FULK. You shall be judge, sir; here be the
tavern-beakers, and here peep out the fine alchemy[539]
knaves, looking like well, sir, most of our gallants,
that seem what they are not.
GOL. Peace, villain, am not I in presence?
FULK. Why, that puts me in mind of the jest, sir.
GOL. Again, you chatterer?[540]
FULK. Nay, compare ’em, and spare ’em not.
GOL. The bigness of the bore, just the same size; the
marks, no difference. Away, put money in thy pocket, and
offer to draw in upon the least occasion.
FULK. I am no babe, sir.
GOL. Hist!
FULK. What’s the matter now?
GOL. Give me a pair of false dice ere you go.
FULK. Pax[541] on’t, you’re so troublesome too, you
cannot remember a thing before! If I stay a little
longer, I shall be staid anon.

_Enter Vintner._

VIN. Here be dice for your worships.
PUR. O, come, come!
GOL. The vintner himself?
I’ll shift away these beakers by a slight.[542]
[_Aside._
VIN. Master Goldstone——
GOL. How now, you conjuring rascal?
VIN. Bless your good worship; you’re in humours,
methinks.
GOL. Humours? say that again.
VIN. I said no such word, sir.—Would I had my beakers
out on’s fingers! [_Aside._
GOL. What’s thy name, vintner?
VIN. Jack, and[543] please your worship.
GOL. Turn knight, like thy companions, scoundrel, live
upon usury, wear thy gilt spurs at thy girdle for fear
of slubbering.
VIN. O no, I hope I shall have more grace than so, sir!
Pray, let me help your worship.
GOL. Cannot I push ’em together without your help?
VIN. O, I beseech your worship! they’re the two
standards of my house.
GOL. Standards? there lie your standards.
VIN. Good your worship.—I am glad they are out of his
fingers: my wife shall lock ’em up presently; they shall
see no sun this twelvemonth’s day for this trick.
[_Aside._
GOL. Let me come to the sight of your standards again.
VIN. Your worship shall pardon me.—Now you shall not see
’em in haste, I warrant ye. [_Aside._
GOL. I do not desire’t. Ha, ha!
[_Exit Vintner[544] with beakers._
FIT. Why, master Goldstone!
GOL. I am for you, gallants.—Master Bouser, cry you
mercy, sir: why supped you from us?
FIT. Faith, sir, I met with a couple of my fellow-pupils
at university, and so we renewed our acquaintance and
supped together.
GOL. Fie, that’s none of the newest fashion, I must
tell you that, master Bouser: you must never take
acquaintance of any a’ th’ university when you are at
London; nor any of London when you’re at university:
you must be more forgetful, i’faith; every place
ministers his acquaintance abundantly.
BUN. He tells you true, sir.
GOL. I warrant you here’s a gentleman will ne’er commit
such an absurdity.
BUN. Who, I? no: ’tis well known, if I be disposed, I’ll
forget any man in a seven-night, and yet look him in the
face: nay, let him ride but ten mile from me, and come
home again, it shall be at my choice whether I’ll
remember him or no: I have tried that.
GOL. This is strange, sir.
BUN. ’Tis as a man gives his mind to’t, sir: and now you
bring me in, I remember ’twas once my fortune to be
cozened of all my clothes, and with my clothes my money;
a poor shepherd, pitying me, took me in and relieved me.
GOL. ’Twas kindly done of him, i’faith.
BUN. Nay, you shall see now: ’twas his fortune likewise,
not long after, to come to me in much distress, i’faith,
and with weeping eyes; and do you think I remembered
him?
GOL. You could not choose.
BUN. By my troth, not I; I forgot him quite, and never
remembered him to this hour.
GOL. And yet knew who he was?
BUN. As well as I know you, i’faith: ’tis a gift given
to some above others.
FIT.[545] To fools and knaves; they never miss on’t.
[_Aside._
BUN. Does any make such a wonder at this? why, alas,
’tis nothing to forget others! what say you to those
that forget themselves?
GOL. Nay, then, to dice:—come, set me, gallants, set.
FRI. Ay, fall to’t, gentlemen,
I shall hear some news from some of you anon:
I’ve[546] th’ art to know which lose, and ne’er look on.
I’ll be ready with all the worst money I can find about
me. [_Aside._]—Arthur!
AR. Here, sir.
FRI. Stand ready.
AR. Fear not me, sir.
GOL. These are mine, sir.
FRI. Here’s a washed angel;[547]
It shall away: here’s mistress rose-noble[548]
Has lost her maidenhead, crack’d in the ring;[549]
She’s good enough for gamesters, and to pass
From man to man: for gold presents at dice
Your harlot, in one hour won and lost thrice;
Every man has a fling at her.
TAI. Again? pax[550] of these dice!
BUN. ’Tis ill to curse the dead, sir.
TAI.[551] Mew, where should I wish the pox but among
bones?
FIT. He tells you right, sir.
TAI. I ne’er have any luck at these odd hands:
None here to make us six? why, master Frip!
FRI. I am very well here, I thank you, sir: I had rather
be telling my money myself than have others count it for
me; ’tis the scurviest music in the world, methinks, to
hear my money gingle in other men’s pockets; I never had
any mind to’t, i’faith.
TAI. ’Slud, play six or play four, I’ll play no more.
GOL. ’Sfoot, you see there’s none here to draw in.

FULK. Rather than you should be destitute, gentlemen,
I’ll play my ten pound, if my master’s worship will give
me leave.
PUR. Come.
TAI. He shall, he shall.
GOL. Pray, excuse me, gentlemen.—’Sfoot, how now,
goodman rascal? what! because you served my grandfather
when he went ambassador, and got some ten pound by th’
hand, has that put such spirit in you to offer to draw
in among gentlemen of worship, knave?
TAI. Pray, sir, let’s entreat so much for once.
PUR. ’Tis a usual grace, i’faith, sir;
You’ve many gentlemen will play with their men.
BUN. Ay, and with their maids too, i’faith.
PUR. Good sir, give him leave.
GOL. Yes, come, and[552] you be weary on’t; I pray draw
near, sir.
FULK. Not so, sir.
TAI. Come, fool, fear nothing; I warrant ’t ye has given
thee leave: stand here by me.—Come now, set round,
gentlemen, set.
PUR. How the poor fellow shakes!—Throw lustily, man.
FULK. At all, gentlemen!
TAI. Well said, i’faith.
PUR. They’re all thine.[553]
TAI. By my troth, I am glad the fellow has such luck,
’twill encourage him well.
FULK. At my master’s worship alone!
GOL. Now, sir slave?
FULK. At my master’s worship alone!
GOL. So, saucy rascal!
FULK. At my master’s worship alone!
GOL. You’re a rogue, and will be ever one![554]
FULK. By my troth, gentlemen, at all again for once!
TAI. Take ’em to thee, boy, take ’em to thee; thou’rt
worthy of ’em, i’faith.
GOL. Gentlemen, faith I am angry with you: go and suborn
my knave again[555] me here, to make him proud and
peremptory!
TAI. Troth, that’s but your conceit, sir; the fellow’s
an honest fellow, and knows his duty, I dare swear for
him.
PUR. Heart, I am sick already!
GOL. Whither goes master [Pursenet]?
PUR. Play on; I’ll take my turn, sir.—Boy.
BOY. Master?
PUR. Hist![556] a supply;—carry’t closely, my little
fooker,—how much?
BOY. Three pound, sir.
PUR. Good boy! take out another lesson.—How now,
gentlemen?
TAI. Devil’s in’t, did you e’er see such a hand?
PUR. I set you these three angels.[557]
BOY. My master may set high, for all his stakes are
drawn out of other men’s pockets. [_Aside._
FULK. As I said, gentlemen.
PUR. Deuce, ace!
FULK. At all your right worshipful worships!
PUR. &c.[558] Death and vengeance!
GOL. Hell, darkness!
TAI. Hold, sir.
PUR. Master Goldstone——
GOL. Hinder me not, sweet gentlemen.—You rascal, I
banish thee the board.
TAI. I’faith, but you shall not, sir.
GOL. Touch a die, and[559] thou darest! come you in with
your lousy ten pound, you slave, among gentlemen of
worship, and win thirty at a hand?
TAI. Why, will you kick again[560] luck, sir?
BUN. As long as the poor fellow ventures the loss of his
own money, who can be offended at his fortunes?
FULK. I have a master here! many a gentleman would be
glad to see his man come forward, aha.
PUR. Pray, be persuaded, sir.
GOL. ’Slife, here’s none cuts my throat in play but
he;
I have observ’d it, an unlucky slave ’tis.
BUN. Methinks his luck’s good enough, sir.
GOL. Upon condition, gentlemen, that I may ever bar him
from the board hereafter, I am content to wink at him.
PUR. Faith, use your own pleasure hereafter; has won our
money now.—Come to th’ table, sir; your master’s friends
with you.
FULK. Pray, gentlemen——
TAI. The fiend’s in’t, I think: I left a fair chain of
pearl at my lodging too, like an ass, and ne’er
remembered it; that would ha’ been a good pawn now.—
Speak, what do you lend upon these, master Frip?
[_Offering his weapons, with girdle and hangers_] I care
not much if you take my beaver hat too, for I perceive
’tis dark enough already, and it does but trouble me
here.
FRI. Very well, sir; why, now I can lend you three
pound, sir.
TAI. Prithee, do’t quickly then.
FRI. There ’tis, in six angels.[561]

TAI. Very compendiously.
FRI. Here, Arthur, run away with these presently; I’ll
enter ’em into th’ shop-book to-morrow. [_Exit_ ARTHUR
_with weapons, &c._] [_Writing_] _Item, one gilt
hatcht[562] rapier and dagger, with a fair embroidered
girdle and hangers,[563] with which came also a beaver
hat with a correspondent band._
TAI. Push![564] i’faith, sir, you’re to blame; you have
snibbed[565] the poor fellow too much; he can scarce
speak, he cleaves his words with sobbing.
FULK. Haff,[566] haff, haff, haff at all, gentlemen.
GOL. Ah, rogue, I’ll make you know yourself!
FULK. At the fairest!
PUR. Out, i’faith! two aces.
GOL. I am glad of that; come, pay me all these, goodman
cloak-bag.
PUR. Why, are you the fairest, sir?
GOL. You need not doubt of that, sir.—Five angels, you
scoundrel!
TAI. Fie[567] a’ these dice! not one hand to-night!—
There they go, gentlemen, at all, i’faith!
PUR. Pay all with two treys and a quater.
TAI. All curses follow ’em! pay yourselves withal.—I’ll
pawn myself to’t, but I’ll see a hand to-night: not once
hold in!—Here, master Frip, lend me your hand, quick,
quick; so.
[_Taking off his doublet._
FRI. What do you borrow of this doublet now?
TAI. Ne’er saw the world three days.
FRI. Go to; in regard you’re a continual customer I’ll
use you well, and pleasure you with five angels[568]
upon’t.
TAI. Let me not stand too long i’ th’ cold for them.
BUN. Had ever country gentleman such fortune? All swoopt
away! I’d need repair to th’ broker’s.
TAI. If you be in that mind, sir, there sits a gentleman
will furnish you upon any pawn as well as the publickst
broker of ’em all.
BUN. Say you so, sir? there’s comfort in that, i’faith.
FRI. [_Writing_] _Item, upon his orange-tawny satin
doublet five angels._
BUN. But, by your leave, sir, next come[569] the
breeches.
FRI. O, I have tongue fit for any thing.
BUN. Saving your tale, sir; ’tis given me to understand
that you are a gentleman i’ th’ hundred, and deal in the
premises aforesaid.
FRI. Master Bungler, master Bungler, you’re mightily
mistook: I am content to do a gentleman a pleasure for
once, so his pawn be neat and sufficient.
BUN. Why, what say you to my grandfather’s seal-ring
here?
FRI. Ay, marry, sir, this is somewhat like.
BUN. Nay, view it well; an ancient arms, I can tell you.
FRI. What’s this, sir?
BUN. The great cod-piece, with nothing in’t.
FRI. How!
BUN. The word[570] about it, _Parturiunt montes_.
FRI. What’s that, I pray, sir?
BUN. _You promise to mount us._
FRI. And belike he was not so good as his word?
BUN. So it should seem by the story, for so our names
came to be Bunglers.
FRI. A lamentable hearing, that so great a house should
shrink and fall to ruin!
PUR. Two quaters, and yet lose it? heart!—Boy!—i’faith,
what is’t?
BOY. Five pound, sir.
PUR. By my troth, this boy goes forward well; ye shall
see him come to his preferment i’ th’ end!
GOL. Why, how now? who’s that, gentlemen? a bargeman?
TAI. I never have any luck, gallants, till my
doublet’s off; Pm not half nimble enough. At this old
cinque-quater drivel-beard!
GOL.[571] Your worship must pay me all these, sir.
TAI. There, and feast the devil with ’em!
PUR. Hell gnaw these dice!
GOL. What, do you give over, gallants?
FIT.[572] Is’t not time?
TAI. I protest I have but one angel left to guide me
home to my lodging.
GOL. How much, thinkest?
FULK. Some fourscore angels, sir.
GOL. Peace, we’ll join powers anon, and see how strong
we are in the whole number. Mass, yon gilt goblet stands
so full in mine eye, the whorson tempts me; it comes
like cheese after a great feast, to disgest[573] the
rest: he will hardly ’scape me, i’faith, I see that by
him already: back for a parting blow now.—Boy!

_Re-enter Vintner._

VIN. Anon, anon, sir.
GOL. Fetch a pennyworth of soft wax to seal letters.
VIN. I will, sir. [_Exit._
TAI. Nay, had not I strange casting? thrice together two
quaters and a deuce!
PUR. Why, was not I as often haunted with two treys and
a quater?

_Re-enter Vintner._

VIN. There’s wax for your worship.—Anon, anon, sir.
[_Exit._
GOL. Screen me a little, you whorson old
cross-biter.[574]
FULK. Why, what’s the business? filch it on hob goblet!
PUR. And what has master Bouser lost?
FIT. Faith, not very deeply, sir; enough for a scholar,
some half a score royals.
PUR. ’Sfoot, I have lost as many with spurs[575] at
their heels.

_Re-enter Vintner with two Drawers._
GOL. Come, gallants, shall we stumble?
TAI. What’s a’ clock?
FIRST D. Here’s none on’t, Dick; the goblet’s carried
down.
GOL. Nay, ’tis upon the point of three, boy.
SEC. D. What’s[576] to be done, sirs?
VIN. All’s paid, and your worships are welcome; only
there’s a goblet missing, gentlemen, and cannot be found
about house.
GOL. How, a goblet?
PUR. What manner a’ one?
VIN. A gilt goblet, sir, of an indifferent size.
GOL. ’Sfoot, I saw such a one lately.
VIN. It cannot be found now, sir.
GOL. Came there no strangers here?
VIN. No, sir.
GOL. This [is] a marvellous matter, that a goblet should
be gone, and none but we in the room; the loss is near
all,[577] here as we are; keep the door, vintner.
VIN. No, I beseech your worship.
GOL. By my troth, vintner, we’ll have a privy search for
this. What! we are not all one woman’s children.
VIN. I beseech ye, gentlemen, have not that conceit of
me, that I suspect your worships.
GOL. Tut, you are an ass; do you know every man’s
nature? there’s a broker i’ th’ company.
PUR. ’Slife, you have not stole the goblet, boy, have
you?
BOY. Not I, sir.
PUR. I was afraid.—’Tis a good cause, i’faith, let each
man search his fellow: we’ll begin with you.
TAI. I shall save somebody a labour, gentlemen, for I’m
half searched already.
PUR. I thought the goblet had hung here, i’faith; none
here, nor here.
GOL. Seek about floor.—What was the goblet worth,
vintner?
VIN. Three pound ten shillings, sir; no more.
GOL. Pox on’t, gentlemen, ’tis but angels[578] a-piece:
it shall be a brace of mine, rather than I would have
our reputations breathed upon by all comers; for you
must think they’ll talk on’t in all companies—such a
night, in such a company, such a goblet: ’sfoot, it may
grow to a gangrene in our credits, and be incurable.
TAI. Faith, I am content.
FRI. So am I.
PUR. There’s my angel too.
GOL. So, and mine.—I’ll tell thee what, the missing of
this goblet has dismayed the gentlemen much.
VIN. I am sorry for that, sir.
GOL. Yet they send thee this comfort by me; if they see
thee but rest satisfied, and depart away contented,
which will appear in thy countenance, not three times
thrice the worth of the goblet shall hang between them
and thee, both in their continual custom and all their
acquaintances’.
VIN. I thank their worships all; I am satisfied.
GOL. Say it again.—Do you hear, gentlemen?
VIN. I thank your worships all; I am satisfied.
[_Exeunt Vintner and Drawers._
GOL. Why, la, was not this better than hazarding our
reputations upon trifles, and in such public as a
tavern, such a questionable place?
TAI. True.
PUR. Faith,[579] it was well thought on.
GOL. Nay, keep your way, gentlemen: I have sworn, master
Bouser, I will be last, i’faith. [_Exeunt all except_
GOLDSTONE _and_ FULK.]—Rascal, the goblet!
FULK. Where, sir?
GOL. Peep yon,[580] sir, under.
FULK. Here, sir.[581] [_Exeunt._