Chapter VI: Act V: Scene I

_A Room in_ LUCRE’S _House_.

_Enter_ LUCRE _and_ WITGOOD.
WIT. Nay, uncle, let me prevail with you so much;
I’faith, go, now he has invited you.
LUC. I shall have great joy there when he has borne away
the widow!
WIT. Why, la, I thought where I should find you
presently: uncle, a’ my troth, ’tis nothing so.
LUC. What’s nothing so, sir? is not he married to the
widow?
WIT. No, by my troth, is he not, uncle.
LUC. How?
WIT. Will you have the truth on’t? he is married to a
whore, i’faith.
LUC. I should laugh at that.
WIT. Uncle, let me perish in your favour if you find it
not so; and that ’tis I that have married the honest
woman.
LUC. Ha! I’d walk ten mile a’ foot to see that, i’faith.
WIT. And see’t you shall, or I’ll ne’er see you again.
LUC. A quean, i’faith? ha, ha, ha! [_Exeunt._

SCENE II.

_A Room in_ HOARD’S _House_.

_Enter_ HOARD _tasting wine, Host following in a livery
cloak_.
HOA. Pup, pup, pup, pup, I like not this wine: is there
never a better tierce in the house?
HOST. Yes, sir, there are as good tierce[s] in the house
as any are in England.
HOA. Desire your mistress, you knave, to taste ’em all
over; she has better skill.
HOST. Has she so? the better for her, and the worse for
you. [_Aside, and exit._
HOA. Arthur!

_Enter_ ARTHUR.

Is the cupboard of plate set out?[158]
ARTH. All’s in order, sir. [_Exit._
HOA. I am in love with my liveries every time I think on
’em; they make a gallant shew, by my troth. Niece!

_Enter_ JOYCE.

JOYCE. Do you call, sir?
HOA. Prithee, shew a little diligence, and overlook the
knaves a little; they’ll filch and steal today, and send
whole pasties home to their wives: and[159] thou be’st a
good niece, do not see me purloined.
JOYCE. Fear it not, sir—I have cause: though the
feast be prepared for you, yet it serves fit for my
wedding-dinner too.[160] [_Aside, and exit._

_Enter_ LAMPREY _and_ SPICHCOCK.

HOA. Master Lamprey and master Spichcock, two the most
welcome gentlemen alive! your fathers and mine were all
free a’ th’ fishmongers.
LAM. They were indeed, sir. You see bold guests, sir;
soon entreated.
HOA. And that’s best, sir.

_Enter Servant._

How now, sirrah?
SER. There’s a coach come to th’ door, sir. [_Exit._
HOA. My Lady Foxtone, a’ my life!—Mistress Jane Hoard!
wife!—Mass, ’tis her ladyship indeed!

_Enter_ LADY FOXTONE.

Madam, you are welcome to an unfurnished house, dearth
of cheer, scarcity of attendance.
L. FOX. You are pleased to make the worst, sir.
HOA. Wife!

_Enter Courtesan._

L. FOX. Is this your bride?
HOA. Yes, madam.—Salute my Lady Foxtone.
COURT. Please you, madam, awhile to taste the air in the
garden?
L. FOX. ’Twill please us well.
[_Exeunt_ L. FOXTONE _and Courtesan_.
HOA. Who would not wed? the most delicious life!
No joys are like the comforts of a wife.
LAM. So we bachelors think, that are not troubled with
them.

_Re-enter Servant._

SER. Your worship’s brother, with other ancient
gentlemen,[161] are newly alighted, sir. [_Exit._
HOA. Master Onesiphorus Hoard? why, now our company
begins to come in.

_Enter_ ONESIPHORUS HOARD, LIMBER, _and_ KIX.

My dear and kind brother, welcome, i’faith.
ONES. H. You see we are men at an hour, brother.
HOA. Ay, I’ll say that for you, brother; you keep as
good an hour to come to a feast as any gentleman in the
shire.—What, old master Limber and master Kix! do we
meet, i’faith, jolly gentlemen?
LIM. We hope you lack guess,[162] sir?
HOA. O, welcome, welcome! we lack still such guess as
your worships.
ONES. H. Ah, sirrah brother, have you catched up widow
Medler?
HOA. From ’em all, brother; and I may tell you I had
mighty enemies, those that stuck sore; old Lucre is a
sore fox, I can tell you, brother.
ONES. H. Where is she? I’ll go seek her out: I long to
have a smack at her lips.
HOA. And most wishfully, brother, see where she comes.

_Re-enter Courtesan and_ LADY FOXTONE.

Give her a smack[163] now we may hear it all the house
over. [_Courtesan and_ ONES. H. _start and turn away_.
COURT. O heaven, I am betray’d! I know that face.
HOA. Ha, ha, ha! why, how now? are you both ashamed?—
Come, gentlemen, we’ll look another way.
ONES. H. Nay, brother, hark you: come, you’re disposed
to be merry.
HOA. Why do we meet else, man?
ONES. H. That’s another matter: I was ne’er so ’fraid in
my life but that you had been in earnest.
HOA. How mean you, brother?
ONES. H. You said she was your wife.
HOA. Did I so? by my troth, and so she is.
ONES. H. By your troth, brother?
HOA. What reason have I to dissemble with my friends,
brother? if marriage can make her mine, she is mine.
Why—— [ONESIPHORUS HOARD _is about to retire_. ONES.
H. Troth, I am not well of a sudden: I must crave
pardon, brother; I came to see you, but I cannot stay
dinner, i’faith.
HOA. I hope you will not serve me so, brother?
LIM. By your leave, master Hoard——
HOA. What now? what now? pray, gentlemen:—you were wont
to shew yourselves wise men.
LIM. But you have shewn your folly too much here.
HOA. How?
KIX. Fie, fie! a man of your repute and name!
You’ll feast your friends, but cloy ’em first with
shame.
HOA. This grows too deep; pray, let us reach the
sense.
LIM. In your old age doat on a courtesan!
HOA. Ha!
KIX. Marry a strumpet!
HOA. Gentlemen!
ONES. H. And Witgood’s quean!
HOA. O! nor lands nor living?
ONES. H. Living!
HOA. [_to Courtesan_] Speak.
COURT. Alas, you know, at first, sir,
I told you I had nothing!
HOA. Out, out! I am cheated; infinitely cozen’d!
LIM. Nay, master Hoard——

_Enter_ LUCRE, WITGOOD, _and_ JOYCE.

HOA. A Dutch widow![164] a Dutch widow! a Dutch widow!
LUC. Why, nephew, shall I trace thee still a liar?
Wilt make me mad? is not yon thing the widow?
WIT. Why, la, you are so hard a’ belief, uncle! by my
troth, she’s a whore.
LUC. Then thou’rt a knave.
WIT. _Negatur argumentum_, uncle.
LUC. _Probo tibi_, nephew: he that knows a woman to be a
quean must needs be a knave; thou sayst thou knowest her
to be one; _ergo_ , if she be a quean, thou’rt a knave.
WIT. _Negatur sequela majoris_, uncle; he that knows a
woman to be a quean must needs be a knave; I deny that.
HOA. Lucre and Witgood, you’re both villains; get you
out of my house!
LUC. Why, didst not invite me to thy wedding-dinner?
WIT. And are not you and I sworn perpetual friends
before witness, sir, and were both drunk upon’t?
HOA. Daintily abus’d! you’ve put a junt[165] upon me!
LUC. Ha, ha, ha!
HOA. A common strumpet!
WIT. Nay, now
You wrong her, sir; if I were she, I’d have
The law on you for that; I durst depose for her
She ne’er had common use nor common thought.
COURT. Despise me, publish me, I am your wife;
What shame can I have now but you’ll have part?
If in disgrace you share, I sought not you;
You pursu’d, nay,[166] forc’d me; had I friends would
follow it,
Less than your action has been prov’d a rape.
ONES. H. Brother!
COURT. Nor did I ever boast of lands unto you,
Money, or goods; I took a plainer course,
And told you true, I’d nothing:
If error were committed, ’twas by you;
Thank your own folly: nor has my sin been
So odious, but worse has been forgiven;
Nor am I so deform’d, but I may challenge
The utmost power of any old man’s love.
She that tastes not sin before [twenty], twenty to one
but she’ll taste it after: most of you old men are
content to marry young virgins, and take that which
follows; where,[167] marrying one of us, you both save a
sinner and are quit from a cuckold for ever:
And more, in brief, let this your best thoughts win,
She that knows sin, knows best how to hate sin.
HOA. Curs’d be all malice! black are the fruits of
spite,
And poison first their owners. O, my friends,
I must embrace shame, to be rid of shame!
Conceal’d disgrace prevents a public name.
Ah, Witgood! ah, Theodorus!
WIT. Alas, sir, I was pricked in conscience to see her
well bestowed, and where could I bestow her better than
upon your pitiful worship? Excepting but myself, I dare
swear she’s a virgin; and now, by marrying your niece, I
have banished myself for ever from her: she’s mine aunt
now, by my faith, and there’s no meddling with mine
aunt, you know: a sin against my nuncle.[168]
COURT. Lo, gentlemen, before you all [_Kneels._
In true reclaimed form I fall.
Henceforth for ever I defy[169]
The glances of a sinful eye,[170]
Waving of fans (which some suppose
Tricks of fancy),[171] treading of toes,
Wringing of fingers, biting the lip,
The wanton gait, th’ alluring trip;
All secret friends and private meetings,
Close-borne letters and bawds’ greetings;
Feigning excuse to women’s labours
When we are sent for to th’ next neighbour’s;
Taking false physic, and ne’er start
To be let blood though sign[172] be at heart;
Removing chambers, shifting beds,
To welcome friends in husbands’ steads,
Them to enjoy, and you to marry,
They first serv’d, while you must tarry,
They to spend, and you to gather,
They to get, and you to father:
These, and thousand, thousand more,
New reclaim’d, I now abhor.
LUC. [_to_ WITGOOD] Ah, here’s a lesson, rioter, for
you!
WIT. I must confess my follies; I’ll down too:
[_Kneels._
And here for ever I disclaim
The cause of youth’s undoing, game,
Chiefly dice, those true outlanders,
That shake out beggars, thieves, and panders;
Soul-wasting surfeits, sinful riots,
Queans’ evils, doctors’ diets,
’Pothecaries’ drugs, surgeons’ glisters;
Stabbing of arms[173] for a common mistress;
Riband favours, ribald speeches;
Dear perfum’d jackets, pennyless breeches;
Dutch flapdragons, healths in urine;
Drabs that keep a man too sure in:
I do defy[174] you all.
Lend me each honest hand, for here I rise
A reclaim’d man, loathing the general vice.
HOA. So, so, all friends! the wedding-dinner cools:
Who seem most crafty prove ofttimes most fools.
[_Exeunt omnes._

------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE FAMILY OF LOVE.

_The Familie of Love. Acted by the Children
of his Maiesties Reuells._

_Lectori._

_Sydera iungamus, facito mihi Iuppiter
adsit,
Et tibi Mercurius noster dabit omnia faxo._

_At London Printed for John Helmes, and are
to be sold in Saint Dunstans Churchyard in
Fleetstreet._ 1608. 4to.

Though there is undoubtedly but one
edition of this drama, yet the copies
differ slightly in several places;
alterations having been introduced after
part of the impression had been worked
off: a circumstance which will surprise
those persons only who have not been
accustomed to collate the 4tos of old
English plays.

_The Family of Love_ was licensed by Sir
George Bucke, 12th Oct. 1607: see Chalmers’s
_Suppl. Apol._ p. 201.

Concerning the sect which gives the title
to the play, the following notices will be
perhaps more than sufficient.

In Brandt’s _Hist. of the Reform. &c. in the
Low Countries_, we are told, under the year
1555: “That Family was suspected of being
more addicted to carnal than to spiritual
love. Henry Nicholas, a Westphalian, born at
Munster, but who had lived a great while at
Amsterdam, and some time likewise at Embden,
was father of this Family. He appeared upon
the stage about the year 1540, stiled
himself the _deified man_, boasted of great
matters, and seemed to exalt himself above
the condition of a human creature. He was,
as he pretended, greater than Moses and
Christ, because Moses had taught mankind to
_hope_, Christ to _believe_, but he to
_love_; which last being of more worth than
both the former, he was consequently greater
than both those prophets.” vol. i. p. 105,
ed. 1720.

According to some writers, however, the sect
was not founded by Henry Nicholas, but by
David George, an anabaptist of Delft; and
indeed there seems reason to believe that
the Family of Love grew out of the heresies
of George, with whom Nicholas had been on
intimate terms.

“As to his [Nicholas’s] pretensions,”
observes Mosheim, “they were indeed
visionary and chimerical; for he maintained
that he had a commission from heaven to
teach men that the essence of religion
consisted in the feelings of _divine love_;
that all other theological tenets, whether
they related to objects of faith or modes of
worship, were of no sort of moment; and
consequently that it was a matter of the
most perfect indifference what opinions
Christians entertained concerning the divine
nature, provided their hearts burned with
the pure and sacred flame of piety and love.
To this, his main doctrine, Nicholas may
have probably added other odd fancies, as
always is the case with those innovators who
are endued with a warm and fruitful
imagination: to come, however, at a true
notion of the opinions of this enthusiast,
it will be much easier to consult his own
writings than to depend entirely upon the
accounts and refutations of his
adversaries.” _Eccles. Hist._ (by MACLAINE),
vol. iv. p. 484.

“Not content,” says Fuller, “to confine
his errours to his own country, over he
[Nicholas] comes into England, and in the
later end of the reign of Edward the Sixth
joyned himself to the Dutch congregation
in London, where he seduced a number of
artificers and silly women,” &c. _Church
Hist._ b. ix. p. 112, ed. 1655.

“The twelfe of June [1575], stood at
Paules Crosse fiue persons Englishmen,
of the sect termed the Familie of Loue,
who there confessed themselues vtterlie
to detest as well the author of that
sect H. N. as all his damnable errors
and heresies.” HOLINSHED’S _Chron._ vol.
iv. p. 328, ed. 1808.

Towards the end of 1580, the sect was
increasing so rapidly in England, that the
government took active measures for its
suppression. “The queenes maiestie being
informed that in sundrie places of this
realme, certeine persons secretlie taught
damnable heresies, contrarie to diuers
principall articles of our beleefe and
christian faith, who to colour their sect
named themselues the Familie of Loue, and
then as manie as were allowed by them to be
of that familie to be elect and saued, and
all others, of what church soeuer they be,
to be reiected and damned. And for that vpon
conuenting of some of them before the
bishops and ordinaries, it was found that
the ground of their sect is mainteined by
certeine lewd, hereticall, and seditious
books, first made in the Dutch toong, and
lastlie translated into English, and printed
beyond the seas, and secretlie brought ouer
into the realme, the author whereof they
name H. N. &c. And considering also it is
found, that those sectaries held opinion,
that they may before anie magistrat or
ecclesiasticall or temporall, or anie other
person, noi being professed to be of their
sect, by oth or otherwise denie anie thing
for their aduantage: so as though manie of
them are well knowne to be teachers and
spreaders abroad of these dangerous and
damnable sects; yet by their owne confession
they cannot be condemned. Therefore hir
maiestie being verie sorie to see so great
an euill, by malice of the diuell to be
brought into this hir realme, and by hir
bishops and ordinaries she vnderstandeth it
verie requisit, not onelie to haue those
dangerous heretiks and sectaries to be
seueralie punished; but that also other
meanes be vsed by hir maiesties roiall
authoritie, which is giuen hir of God to
defend Christs church, to root them out from
further infecting of hir realme: she hath
thought meet and conuenient, and so by hir
proclamation commandeth, that all hir
officers and ministers temporall shall in
all their seuerall vocations assist the
bishops of hir realme, and all other person,
to search out all persons dulie suspected to
be either teachers or professors of the
foresaid damnable sects, and by all good
meanes to proceed seuerelie against them,
being found culpable, by order of the lawes
ecclesiasticall or temporall: and that all
search be made in all places suspected, for
the books and writings mainteining the said
heresies and sects, and them to destroie and
burne, &c: as more at large may appeere by
the said proclamation, giuen at Richmond the
third of October, and proclamed at London on
the nineteenth daie of the same moneth
[1580].” HOLINSHED’S _Chron._ vol. iv. p.
432, ed. 1808. See also CAMDENI _Annales_,
p. 318, ed. 1639.

A list of Nicholas’s numerous writings may
be found in Lowndes’s _Bibliographer’s
Manual_. One of them is in verse: _An
Enterlude of Myndes: witnessing the Mans
Fall from God and Christ. Set forth by H. N.
and by him newly perused and amended.
Translated out of Base-Almayne into
English._ n. d.: see an account of, and
extracts from it, in Sir E. Brydges’s
_Restituta_, vol. iv. p. 140, sqq. Nicholas
is mentioned in the last scene of _The
Alchemist_,—B. JONSON’S _Works_, vol. iv. p.
187, ed. Giff.

“The Family of Love (or Lust rather),” says
Fuller, “at this time [1604] presented a
tedious Petition to King James, so that it
is questionable whether his majesty ever
graced it with his perusall, wherein they
endeavoured to cleare themselves from some
misrepresentations, and by fawning
expression to insinuate themselves into his
majesty’s good opinion.” _Church Hist._ b.
x. p. 29, ed. 1655. Having given the
document in question, which is too long for
insertion here, Fuller proceeds: “I finde
not what effect this their Petition
produced; whether it was slighted, and the
Petitioners looked upon as inconsiderable,
or beheld as a few frantick folk out of
their wits, which consideration alone often
melted their adversaries anger into pity
unto them. The main design driven on in the
Petition is to separate themselves from the
Puritans (as persons odious to King James),
that they might not fare the worse for their
vicinity unto them; though these Familists
could not be so desirous to leave them as
the others were glad to be left by them. For
if their opinions were so senselesse, and
the lives of these Familists so sensuall as
is reported, no _purity_ at all belonged
unto them.” p. 32. From the Petition just
mentioned, we find that “divers” of the
Familists had been lately thrown into
prison.

The sect was attacked, at different times,
by various writers: among others by John
Rogers, in _The Displaying of an horrible
Secte of grosse & wicked Heretiques, naming
themselues the Family of Loue, with the
liues of their Authours, & what doctrine
they teach in corners. Newly set foorth by
J. R. &c._ London, 1579. 12mo.

In _The Lady of Pleasure_, act i. sc. 1,
Shirley has the following passage:

“Another game you have, which consumes more
Your fame than purse: your revels in the
night,
Your meetings call’d THE BALL, to which
repair,
As to the court of pleasure, all your
gallants,
And ladies, thither bound by a subpœna
Of Venus, and small Cupid’s high
displeasure;
’Tis but the Family of Love translated
Into more costly sin! There was a PLAY on’t,
And had the poet not been brib’d to a modest
Expression of your antic gambols in’t,
Some darks had been discover’d, and the
deeds too:
In time he may repent, and make some blush,
To see the second part danc’d on the stage."
SHIRLEY’S _Works_, vol. iv. p.
9.

I have quoted the lines only for the sake of
correcting a mistake of the last editor of
Beaumont and Fletcher. In a note on _The
Widow_, Weber remarks, that Middleton “wrote
a play entitled _The Family of Love_, but it
seems that he was reprehended for not
displaying these sectaries in their true
colours. Thus Shirley in _The Lady of
Pleasure_:

"’Tis but the Family of Love translated
Into more costly sin! There was a Play
on’t,” &c.
B. _and_ F.’s _Works_, vol. xiv. p.
145.

What stupidity! not to perceive that the
“Play on’t” was the drama called _The Ball_,
written by Shirley and Chapman!

TO THE READER.

-------

Too soon and too late this work is
published: too soon, in that it was in the
press before I had notice of it, by which
means some faults may escape in the
printing; too late, for that it was not
published when the general voice of the
people had sealed it for good, and the
newness of it made it much more desired than
at this time; for plays in this city are
like wenches new fallen to the trade, only
desired of your neatest gallants whiles
they’re fresh; when they grow stale they
must be vented by termers[175] and country
chapmen. I know not how this labour will
please: sure I am it passed the censure of
the stage with a general applause. Now,
whether _vox populi_ be _vox Dei_ or no,
that I leave to be tried by the acute
judgment of the famous six wits of the
city.—FAREWELL.