Chapter X: The Education Completed (1)

So far, as has been shown, advertisements have had to struggle against foreign war, internecine disorder, the poverty of the State, and many other drawbacks; but by the commencement of the seventh decade of the eighteenth century, these difficulties have all in turn been surmounted, and the most modern means of obtaining publicity, despite prejudice, and, still worse, taxation, is fixed firmly in the land, and doing much towards the management of its affairs. The country is at peace with the world, so far as Europe is concerned; and even the Canadian campaign is as good as over. Clive has made himself felt and the name of England feared throughout the length and breadth of India, and merchants are beginning to reap the advantages of conquest. George III. has ascended the throne, has been married and crowned, and looks forward to a long and prosperous reign. In fact, everything seems bright and smiling, for never, through many a long year, was the country so free from troubles and anxieties, or with so little to direct her attention from those two great essentials to English existence--profit and pleasure. And so, as marked in the preceding chapter, advertisements of all kinds progressed as the century became older; and when the ordinary style failed, dodges of all kinds were adopted to give a factitious importance to announcements, no matter whether of quacks, of publishers, or of the infinite variety of other trades and professions which just now began to be bitten by the fast-growing mania. Some of the sly puffs were of a most specious order, and attention is called to one of them by the indignation it evoked in the _Monthly Review_ (vol. xxvii. 1762). The object of the puff paragraph had been an insipid panegyric on Lord Halifax, called “The Minister of State,” which sacrificed on the altar of Halifax the characters of all preceding premiers, from Burleigh to Bute, and the attempt to force its sale evoked the wrath of the _Review_, which commences as follows:--“As the practice of puffing is now arrived at the utmost height of assurance, it will not be improper for the Reviewers occasionally to mark some of the grosser instances that may occur of this kind.” Thereupon it notices the “lying paragraph,” to which we have already referred, the words within brackets being the comments of the Reviewer:

A noble Peer has absolutely given directions to his Solicitor to
commence a Prosecution against the Author of the Poem called, _The
Minister of State, a Satire_, as a most licentious and libellous
composition.--The writer, no doubt, merits a severer censure of the
Law than any of his brethren, because instead of employing those
_great talents for poetry and satire for which he is so deservedly
celebrated_ [what does he not deserve for his effrontery?] in the
service of Virtue and his Country, he has _basely_ [basely enough!]
prostituted them to the unworthy purpose of defaming, lampooning and
abusing some of the greatest characters in this Kingdom. [All a puff
to excite curiosity.] We think this LITERARY LUMINARY, of the age
[this illiterate farthing candle!] should pay a greater deference to
the words of his predecessor Mr Pope:

“Curs’d be the verse, how smooth soe’er it flow,” etc.

[We doubt, however, if any of this _honest_ gentleman’s readers will
think his verses worth a curse, whatever they may think he deserves
for his impudence.]

This energetic effort on the part of the _Review_ to prevent undue reputations being made by disguised advertisements, had little effect in checking an evil which flourishes unto this day--which will, in fact, flourish as long as a majority exist ready to believe anything they are told, and to be more than usually prompt with their credulity when what they are told is more than usually wrong. The next notification we select is from the _British Chronicle_ of January 4-6, 1762, and is of a literary character also, though, judging by the motto adopted, the work is more likely to produce melancholy than amusement:--

This day are published, Price 1s.,

THE Songs of Selma, attempted in English verse, from the original of
Ossian, the son of Fingal. . . . . _Quis talia fando Tempenet a
lacrymis?_. . . . Printed for R. Griffiths, opposite Somerset House in
the Strand; C. Henderson, at the Royal Exchange; and G. Woodfall,
Charing Cross.

How many books of this kind have been published, thrown aside, and forgotten, or consigned to the pastrycook and trunkmaker, since the “Songs of Selma” saw the light, is a question easier to ask than to solve. One thing is, though, certain--the number of people who will write, whether they have anything to say or not, increases every year, and in due course we may expect an ingenious Chancellor of the Exchequer to impose a tax on authors; which, after all, will hardly, so far as brilliancy is concerned, be so destructive as the window-tax, or so uncalled for as Mr Robert Lowe’s famous “ex luce lucellum” imposition. A couple of weeks later, in the same paper (January 18-20), is the following of a very different character from that which has been already selected:--

READING MACHINE

IS removed from the Three Kings, Piccadilly, to the George Inn, Snow
Hill, London; sets out from the _Broad Face, Reading_, every Monday,
Wednesday, and Friday, at seven o’clock in the morning, and from the
_George Inn, Snow Hill_, every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, at
seven o’clock in the morning; carries passengers to and from Reading
at 6s. each, children in lap, and outside passengers at 3s.

Performed by {THOMAS MOORE and
{RICHARD MAPLETON.

_N.B._--Takes no charge of Writings, Money, Watches, or Jewels, unless
entered and paid for as such.

This machine was evidently a nondescript, partly slow coach, partly waggon, and was extremely reasonable in its rates if it journeyed at any pace, seeing that outside passengers paid no more than present Parliamentary rates, while the insides had no occasion to complain of excessive expenditure. But fancy the journey at seven o’clock on a January morning, with the knowledge that no brisk motion would keep the blood in circulation, that the roads were heavy, the weather indifferent, the society worse, the conversation, if any, very heavy, and the purse proportionally light! Such a company as Roderick Random and Strap fell in with in the waggon, must often have been seen on the outside of the Reading Machine. In the same paper of January 20-22, we find the advertisement of a pamphlet issued for the gratification of a morbid taste which has its representative nowadays--though, by the way, there is more excuse for a little excitement over murder and execution now than there was in the days when every week saw its batch of criminals led forth to take their final dance upon nothing:--

This day was published, price 1s.,

SOME authentic particulars of the life of John Macnaghton, Esq., of
Ben ----, who was executed in Ireland, on tuesday the 25th day of
December, for the Murder of Miss Mary Anne Knox, the only daughter of
Andrew Knox, Esq., of Prehen, representative in the late and present
Parliament for the county of Donegal. With a full account of his
pretended Connexion with the young Lady; of the measures he took to
seize her person previous to the Murder; the circumstances of that
fact; the manner of his being apprehended; and his conduct and
behaviour from that time till his Death. Compiled from papers
communicated by a gentleman in Ireland, to a person of distinction of
that Kingdom now residing here.

Printed for H. Payne & W. Croply, at Dryden’s Head in Paternoster Row.

John Macnaghton, Esq., was a real gentleman criminal, and though food for the halter was plenty in 1762 and thereabouts, gentlemen were “tucked up” still more rarely than within ordinary recollections; for stern as was the law a hundred years ago, it had very merciful consideration for persons of quality, and the hanging of a landed proprietor for a mere paltry murder was a very noticeable event. In the _London Gazette_ of February 23-27, we find a record of the coronation of their illustrious and sacred Majesties, George and Charlotte, which runs thus:--

ALBEMARLE ST., _Feby. 26, 1762_.

THE Gold Medals intended for the Peers and Peeresses who in their
robes attended at the Coronation of their Majesties (according to a
list obtained from the proper officers) will be delivered at the Earl
of Powis’s house in Albemarle Street, on Wednesday and Thursday next,
from ten to twelve o’clock each day.

It is therefore desired that the Peers and Peeresses, as above
mentioned, will send for their Medals; and that the persons who shall
be sent for them shall bring Cards, signed by such Peers or Peeresses,
as the Medals shall be required for, and sealed with their Arms.

In the same paper we come upon the advertisement of a book which is even now read with interest, though the price at which a modern issue of it is offered is ludicrously small compared with that of the original edition:--

THIS day is published, in small quarto, Price Thirty Shillings,
Printed at Strawberry Hill, Anecdotes of Painting in England, with
incidental Notes on other Arts. Collected by the late Mr George
Vertue, and now first digested and published from his original
Manuscripts. By Mr Horace Walpole. Vol. I. and II. With above forty
Copper plates, four of which are taken from antient Paintings; the
rest, heads of Artists, engraved by Grignion, Muller, Chambers, and
Bannerman.

To be had of W. Bathoe, Bookseller, in the Strand, near Exeter
Exchange.

As we have no wish whatever to paint the lily, we will, although the subject is a kindred one, leave Horace Walpole’s book without a fresh criticism to add to the thousand and odd already passed upon it, and will pass on to the land “where the men are all brave and the women all beautiful,” and where, in _Faulkner’s Dublin Journal_, also of February 1762, we come upon the cry of a young man for his mother. In the advertisement is the nucleus of a story quite equal to “Tom Jones,” provided, of course, that its author possessed the fancy of a Fielding. We are not aware of any literary gentleman who would succeed, though we are acquainted with plenty who would most confidently make the attempt; their only doubt, if doubt possessed them at all, being not in their own powers, but in the discernment of the reading public. To them, therefore, we present the groundwork of a story which would naturally enlist the sympathies of England and Ireland. A little might also be thrown in for the benefit of Scotland, which would hardly like to be left out of so fascinating a romance:--

WHEREAS a lady who called herself a native of Ireland was in England
in the year 1740, and resided some time at a certain village near
Bath, where she was delivered of a son, whom she left with a sum of
money under the care of a person in the same parish, and promised to
fetch him at a certain age, but has not since been heard of; now this
is to desire the lady, if living, and this should be so fortunate as
to be seen by her, to send a letter, directed to T. E. to be left at
the Chapter Coffee house, St Paul’s Churchyard, London, wherein she is
desired to give an account of herself, and her reasons for concealing
this affair: or if the lady should be dead, and any person is privy to
the affair, they are likewise desired to direct as above.--_N.B._ This
advertisement is published by the person himself, not from motives of
necessity, or to court any assistance (he being, by a series of happy
circumstances, possessed of an easy and independent fortune) but with
a real desire to know his origin.--_P.S._ The strictest secrecy may be
depended on.

Foundlings seem to have been better off a hundred years ago than now, for in all stories they come out very well, and in this present instance T. E. seems to have been able to help himself. It is not unlikely, however, that some sharp adventurer, knowing how weak is human nature, had hit upon the expedient of attracting maternal sympathies--Bath was a great place at that time for interesting invalids--with a view to a system of extortion. This may, or may not be, and at this distance of time it is useless to speculate. Accordingly we turn once more to the _London Gazette_, and in a number for April 1762 find this:--

THE following persons being fugitives for debt, and beyond the seas,
on or before the twenty-fifth day of October, one thousand seven
hundred and sixty, and having surrendered themselves to the Gaolers
or Keepers of the respective Prisons or Gaols hereafter mentioned, do
hereby give notice, that they intend to take the benefit of an Act of
Parliament passed in the first year of the reign of His present
Majesty King George the Third, intituled _An Act for relief of
Insolvent Debtors_, at the next General or Quarter Sessions of the
Peace, to be held in and for the County, Riding, Division, City, Town,
Liberty or Place, or any adjournment thereof, which shall happen next
after thirty days from the first Publication of the undermentioned
names, viz.,

James Colburn, late of Smith Street, in the parish of St James, in the
county of Middlesex, Baker.

Fugitive surrendered to the Keeper of Whitechapel Prison, in the
County of Middlesex.

Second Notice.

Charles Watkins, late of the Bankside, in the parish of St Saviour,
Southwark, in the county of Surrey, Waterman.

Fugitive surrendered to the Keeper of the Poultry Compter, in the City
of London.

Third Notice.

James Buckley, formerly of Cock Alley, late of Star Alley, in the
Parish of Aldgate, Lower Precinct, London, Cordwainer.

This is one of the first notices given of an intention to take the benefit of an Act that was much wanted. The slowness of people to take advantage of any boon, no matter how priceless, is here once again shown, for there are but three claimants for redemption, two of whom had been published before. By the middle of 1762 the Cock Lane ghost had had its two years’ run and was discovered, and it must have been just about the time of the trial of Parsons and his family--viz., in June--that the following appeared in the _British Chronicle_:--

This day is published, price 6d.

A TRUE account of the several conversations between the supposed
Apparition in Cock Lane, and the Gentlemen who attended. Together with
the Death and Funeral of Mrs K----, and many other circumstances not
made known to the World.

Published for the conviction of the incredulous.

“I would take the ghost’s word for a thousand pounds.”

HAMLET.

Printed for E. Cabe, at his Circulating library in Ave Marie lane; and
to be had of all Pamphlet shops and News carriers.

It is hard to tell whether the writer is in favour of the ghost’s existence or not from the advertisement, for while he in one breath speaks of the supposed apparition, he immediately afterwards refers to the incredulous, and quotes no less an authority than Shakespeare in support of the imposition. Doubtless this was a trick to secure the purchase-money, if not the support, of the partisans of both sides. Next, in the same paper, we come upon a notice of the post-office in reference to the foreign mails of that day, which runs thus:--

GENERAL POST OFFICE, _Aug. 8, 1762_.

PUBLIC Notice is hereby given to all persons corresponding with His
Majesty’s island of Belleisle, that Letters for the future will be
regularly forwarded from Plymouth to and from that Island, by two
Vessels, lately hired and appointed for that purpose.

By Order of the Postmaster-General,

HENRY POTTS, _Secretary_.

The mail service across the Atlantic was somewhat different in 1762 from what it is now, when a continuous stream of letters is every day poured forth, either by way of Liverpool or by means of the later delivery at Queenstown. Soldiers seem to have been shorter, too, not only in height but in quantity, about this time, if the evidence of an advertisement of January 1, 1763, is to be taken. We are still quoting from the _British Chronicle_, and shall continue to do so until another journal is named:--

THE Royal Regiment of Horse Guards, commanded by the Right Honourable
the Marquis of Granby, is willing to entertain any young Man under 23
years of age, having a good Character, strait and well made, in height
from five feet ten, to six feet one inch. Apply to Quarter Master
_Campbell_, at the Market Coffee House, Mayfair.

From the same copy we take another notice, which shows that the executors of Mr Ward not only considered it their duty to get rid of his stock at the best possible advantage, but also to continue a defence of the business which had been instituted by the late proprietor against the attacks of an impostor. The reason they give for the republication is curious, unless they fancied its omission would trouble the spirit of the late compounder of drugs:--

THE late Joshua Ward of Whitehall, Esq., having left very considerable
quantities of his principal Medicines ready prepared, such and such
only as may be applied for by name, will be delivered at his late
dwelling-house in Whitehall.

As not the least pretence is made by us, of having any judgment in the
application of Medicine, we presume to say no more than that the
specified orders shall be delivered with the utmost care and
fidelity.--Ralph Ward, Thomas Ward, Executors.

As the following was published by the late Mr Ward it is necessary to
adjoin the same.--“Having seen in the public papers that a woman
servant discharged from my service advertises herself as (late) my
housekeeper and assistant in preparing my medicines. It is a justice I
owe the public and myself, to declare, that this woman was hired and
lived with me as, and at the wages of a common working servant,
keeping no other. And as to what knowledge she may have in preparing
my medicines, every living servant in my family, with the same
propriety, may pretend to it, being all assistants to me by their
manual labour. Signed--Joshua Ward.”

Soon after this, February 10-12, comes an announcement which must have filled the lady readers of the _Chronicle_--for ladies ever loved bargains--with anxiety and their husbands with terror. The last paragraph shows that the warehouseman knew well how to bait his trap for the unwary:--

A REAL SALE OF SILKS

AT the Coventry Cross, Chandos Street, Covent Garden. Consisting of a
very great assortment of Rich brocades, Tissues, flowered and plain
Sattins, Tabbies, Ducapes, black Armozeens, Rasdumores, Mantuas, &c.
Being purchased of the executors of an eminent weaver and factor,
deceased, and of another left off trade.

Merchants, &c., may be supplied with rich Silks fit for exportation,
fresh and fine patterns, greatly under prime cost, for ready money
only, the price marked on each piece.

It is hoped Ladies will not be offended that they cannot possibly be
waited on at their own Houses.

Within a very short period, little more than a week, we come across an advertisement which we admit fairly puzzles us. We are certainly far more able to believe that the precious balsam does all that is promised for it, than we are to understand the reason for its having but one title. It runs thus:--

WARHAM’S Apoplectic Balsam, so well known as an excellent remedy
against Fits, Convulsions, &c., cures Deafness, bad Humours in the
Eyes, inward Bruises, dissolves hard Lumps in the Breast, and has
often cured Cancers, as can be proved by Facts; is a sovereign salve
for green Wounds, Burns, &c. Is prepared and sold only by W. Strode,
at the Golden Ball, Tottenham Court Road, London.

Who also prepares and sells Warham’s Cephalick Snuff, of a most
grateful smell, and an effectual remedy for giddiness, nervous pains
in the Head, &c.

Also Warham’s excellent Mouth water, which certainly cures the
toothache, strengthens and preserves the Teeth, takes off all smells
proceeding from bad Teeth, &c.

In a number for February 26 to March 1, 1764, there is an announcement of one of those dinners without which no English charity ever has succeeded, or, so long as English nature remains as it is, ever will succeed without. It is noticeable for various reasons, and especially for the notices of “Mr” Handel and the airing of the hall:--

MAGDALEN HOUSE CHARITY.

Prescot Street, Goodman’s Fields, Feb. 10, 1764.

THE Anniversary Feast of the Governors of this Charity will be held on
Thursday the 18th of March next, at Drapers-Hall, in Throgmorton
Street, after a sermon to be preached at the Parish Church of St
George, Hanover Square, before the Right Honourable the Earl of
Hertford, President; the Vice-Presidents; Treasurer and Governor of
this Charity; by the Rev. William Dodd, A.M., Chaplain to the Bishop
of St David’s.

Prayers will begin at eleven o’clock precisely, and Dinner will be on
table at Three o’clock.

Stewards.

The Right Hon. Lord Viscount Spencer.
The Right Hon. Lord Scarsdale.

Joseph Martin, Esq.
John Weyland, Esq.
John Barker, Esq.
John Eddows, Esq.
John Smith, Esq.
Jacob Wilkinson, Esq.
John Lefevre, Esq.
Jacob Bosanquet, Esq.

_N.B._--A Te Deum, composed by Mr Handel for the late Duke of
Chandos’s Chapel, with Jubilate and other Anthems, will be performed
by Mr Beard, and a proper Band of the best performers, both vocal and
instrumental.

The Hall will be properly aired.

Tickets for the Feast may be had at the following places, at five
shillings each, viz., Mr Winterbottom’s, the Secretary, in Old Broad
Street, and at the following Coffee-Houses; Arthur’s, in St James’s
Street; Mount’s, Grosvenor Square; Tom’s, in Devereux Court;
Richard’s, in Fleet Street; Tom’s, John’s, and Batoon’s, in Cornhill;
and Waghorn’s, at the Court of Requests.

Two ladies Tickets for the Church will be given
with each Feast Ticket.

Mr Gibson, whose advertisement appears in the edition for April 5-7, 1764, would have been invaluable to Julia Pastrana and the Bearded Lady, while his aid would have been equally in demand among those anxious to cover themselves with the glory of hirsute appendages. Unfortunately for him, moustaches and beards were not then in demand, nor was baldness so noticeable as now; but the request for his beautifying paste doubtless compensated him for other neglects:--

A CARD TO THE LADIES.

MR GIBSON’S Innocent Composition, so greatly admired for its wonderful
effects, in removing by the Roots in half a minute, the most strong
Hair growing in any part of the Head or Face, without the least hurt
to the finest Skin of Ladies or Children; he sells this useful
composition at 5s. an ounce, with such full directions that any Person
may use it themselves.

Also his curious Preparation for coaxing Hair to grow on bald Parts
when worn off by illness, it being allowed by many who have tried many
approved remedies, to fully answer the desired Purpose.

Likewise his Beautifying Paste for the Face, Neck, and Hands, so well
known to the Ladies for giving a true Enamel to the Skin; in pots at
10s. 6d. In lesser pots at 5s. each. The above things to be had of him
and nowhere else in England, next door to the Golden Star in Lower
Cross Street, Hatton Garden, Holborn.--No less a quantity of the
composition can be had than one Ounce, nor of the preparation or paste
than one Pot.

_N.B._--Gibson in gold Letters over the Door.

That the practice of inserting “dummy” advertisements for the purpose of drawing others had been adopted before this, is shown by a caution inserted in the _Public Advertiser_ of January 1, 1765, though why theatrical managers should have objected to gratuitous publicity we cannot understand. Misrepresentation of the title of a play to be performed would rarely act detrimentally, while it would often be beneficial. Managers of the present day never object to anything but adverse criticism in a newspaper, and this affects them in various ways. Critics may be as favourable as they like, but let them condemn a piece and they raise a storm not easily allayed. The managerial feeling is then shown at once. Sometimes the advertisement of the theatre is summarily stopped, at others the usual first-night privilege is suspended, and not rarely of late years letters have been written and published showing how utterly biassed the criticism has been. But not one of the whole theatrical fraternity ever objects to a gratuitous advertisement. Even a man who comes on with a message likes it, though he in common with all the outsiders of “the profession” affects to despise criticism, and will, on the slightest provocation, speak about well-known writers for the press in a most contemptuous manner. But here is the advertisement:--

THE Managers of Drury Lane think it proper to give notice that
Advertisements of their Plays by their authority are published only in
this Paper and the _Daily Courant_, and that the Publishers of all
other Papers who presume to insert Advertisements of the same Plays,
can do it only by some surreptitious intelligence or hearsay which
frequently leads them to commit gross Errors, as mentioning one Play
for another, falsely representing the Parts, etc. to the
misinformation of the Town and the great detriment of the said
Theatre.

As different in style as it is distant in date and place of publication is the next item which attracts our attention. It looks suspiciously like a hoax, for though other Newcastle papers of the time have been rigorously searched, no news is discovered of Mrs Bell having shared the fate which is said to overtake all who pry unduly into the secrets of the Craft for the purpose of making capital out of their information. The advertisement appears in the _Newcastle Courant_ of January 4, 1770, and runs as follows:--

THIS is to acquaint the Public, That on Monday the first instant,
being the Lodge (or Monthly Meeting) night of the Free and Accepted
Masons of the 22d Regiment, held at the Crown, near Newgate
(Newcastle) Mrs Bell, the Landlady of the House, broke open a Door
(with a Poker) that had not been opened for some Years past, by which
means she got into an adjacent Room, made two Holes through the Wall,
and by that stratagem discovered the secrets of Masonry; and she,
knowing herself to be the first Woman in the World that ever found out
the Secret, is willing to make it known to all her Sex. So any Lady
who is desirous of learning the Secrets of Free Masonry, by applying
to that well-learned Woman (Mrs Bell that lived 15 years in and about
Newgate) may be instructed in all the Secrets of Masonry.

Coming back to London again, we find the following announcement published in more papers than one. It is well worthy of perusal, as giving a picture of the loneliness of Chelsea and its approaches a hundred years ago, when it was a little outlying village, and when the whole duty of a watchman was to evade by any and every means in his power, contact with footpads, “high tobymen,” or burglars:--

Chelsea, Middlesex, Feb. 20, 1770.

THE Inhabitants of the Parish of Chelsea, being desirous to prevent,
as far as in them lies, any Robberies or Felonies being committed in
the said Parish, do hereby give Notice, that they have entered into a
Subscription, for a Reward for the Discovery of Robberies or Felonies,
and have therefore paid into the Hands of Mr Edward Anderson, of
Chelsea aforesaid, as Treasurer, a Sum of Money to answer the several
Purposes hereafter mentioned, to such Person or Persons who shall,
during the Space of one whole Year from the Date hereof, apprehend or
take any Offender or Offenders, as are herein after described, the
several and respective Rewards hereafter mentioned, in fourteen Days
after Conviction, over and above what such Person or Persons may be
entitled unto by such Apprehending and Conviction by any Law now in
Being.

For every Robbery that shall be committed by any Highwayman or
Highwaymen, Footpad or Footpads, within the said Parish (except that
Part of the Parish and Road leading from London to Harrow on the Hill,
which belongs to the said Parish), the Sum of Ten Pounds.

For any Person or Persons who shall break into the Dwelling House of
any Subscriber, or send any Incendiary Letter to any Subscriber, the
Sum of Ten Pounds.

For any Person or Persons who shall steal any Horse, Mare, Colt, or
other Cattle, belonging to a Subscriber, or commit any Thefts or
Robberies in any of their Outhouses, the Sum of Five Pounds.

For every Theft or Robbery that shall be committed in any Garden,
Garden-Grounds, or Fields, Orchard, Court Yard, Backside or
Fish-ponds, or any Barge or Craft lying ashore, belonging to any of
the Subscribers, or shall steal any of their Fruit, Poultry, Fish,
Linen, Lead, Iron-Gates, or Gate-Hinges, Pales, or Fences, the Sum of
Forty Shillings.

And the Subscribers do hereby promise to pay and discharge the whole,
or such Part of the Expence of such Prosecution or Prosecutions of the
several Offences above-mentioned, as upon Application to any five or
more of the Subscribers, at a Meeting called for that Purpose, shall
judge reasonable.

And for the farther Encouragement of all and every the Person and
Persons who shall apprehend and convict any Offender or Offenders in
any of the Offences aforesaid, the said Subscribers do hereby promise
to use their Endeavours for procuring the speedy Payment of such
Reward as such Person or Persons may be entitled to by any Law now in
Being.

And the said Subscribers do farther promise and agree, That if any
Offenders shall, before his or her own Apprehension for any of the
Offences aforesaid, voluntarily discover, or apprehend any of his or
her Accomplices, so as he, she, or they, be convicted thereof, such
Person so apprehending as aforesaid, shall be entitled to, and have
such Reward or Sums of Money as before provided for apprehending and
taking the said several Offenders as aforesaid, upon Conviction.

The popularity of the _Daily Courant_ and _Public Advertiser_ with the managers of Drury Lane Theatre seems to have come to a sudden end in 1771, probably for the reasons we have noticed as affecting modern managerial bosoms, for in the _Daily Post_ this appears:--

TO prevent any Mistake in future in advertising the Plays and
entertainments of Drury Lane Theatre, the Managers think it proper to
declare that the Playbills are inserted by their direction in this
Paper only.

The _St James’s Chronicle_ (a weekly paper which is still alive, and as strong in its Toryism as ever), in July 1772, contains an advertisement which for coolness and audacity is very noticeable, even at a time when requests were put forth in the columns of the public press with most unblushing effrontery:--

WANTED immediately, Fifteen Hundred or Two Thousand Pounds by a person
not worth a Groat, who having neither Houses, Lands, Annuities or
public Funds, can offer no other Security than that of simple Bond,
bearing simple interest and engaging the Repayment of the Sum borrowed
in five, six or seven Years, as may be agreed upon by the Parties.
Whoever this may suit (for it is hoped it will suit somebody) by
directing a line to A. Z. in Rochester, shall be immediately replied
to or waited on, as may appear necessary.

Benevolence must have been very strongly developed in any one who acceded to the requests of A. Z. But that there was a deal of that commodity afloat at the time of which we are writing, our next specimen, one of disinterestedness and charity, shows. It is from the _Gazetteer_ of November 29, 1773:--

A LADY of strict Honour and Benevolence, who lives in a genteel sphere
of Life, influenced by a variety of critical Circumstances, offers her
Service as an Advocate to Persons under the most intricate
Circumstances, especially to those of her own Sex, whose Troubles she
can with a secret Sympathy share, and who will point out certain Means
of alleviating their Distress. The Advertiser has a Genteel House to
accommodate such Persons, while their Affairs are settled. The
greatest Delicacy, Discretion, and most Inviolable Secrecy may be
depended on. Therefore to prevent being made the sport of Curiosity,
the Advertiser is determined to answer such Letters only that appear
explicit and satisfactory, with the Principal’s Name and Place of
Abode. Please to address a line (post paid) for Mrs Gladen, at No. 5
Church Row, Aldgate Church, Whitechapel.

Especially those of her own sex. It would be hard to discover what any one of an opposite gender could want as resident with this nice old lady, unless indeed he wished to put in practice the advice given to Nicodemus. But, as for money this benevolent beldame would have done anything, there is little doubt she had plenty of visitors of both sexes. It does not do, however, to be too hard on Mrs Gladen, when it is considered that she has many highly successful and extremely respectable representatives of the present day. We therefore pass on to the latter part of 1774, when it is evident, from a perusal of the advertisements alone, that a general election is impending. In September we find this in the _Morning Post_:--

A GENTLEMAN of Character and considerable Fortune is extremely
desirous of a HIGH HONOUR at an approaching Period. Any one who can
assist him, or point out an eligible means of succeeding, shall be
amply recompensed both at present and in future.--In short, name your
Terms; secrecy is all required on his part. A Line to Mr Dormer, at
No. 24 Ludgate Hill, will be attended to.

The _Morning Post_ seems to have been a particular medium for the process by which legislators were made in the “good old days”--good enough for the rich and unscrupulous, of course--for very shortly afterwards many of the same kind appear. The following stipulates the amount, and with true unselfishness recommends the candidate:--

A GENTLEMAN of Honour, Character, and Fortune, who has £1,500 at his
Bankers’, has some desire to obtain a Seat. A connection with him will
do no discredit to any Man of Rank, or Body of Men. As he is serious,
he expects no Application but from such as are so, to Q. at New
Lloyd’s Coffee-house, Cornhill.

One who follows is much more generous, so far as money is concerned, though he lacks the disinterested recommendation of Q. Still as money and not mind is the desideratum among election agents, there is little fear that the chances were in favour of W. W., though doubtless there was room enough found at St Stephen’s for both. Room for two! room for two hundred who had money with which to pave their way:--

A GENTLEMAN of independent fortune is ready to give three Thousand
Guineas to be accommodated with a certain purpose to answer the
advertiser’s end at this Crisis. Any one inclined to treat about the
above, may be further informed by Line, or otherwise, directed for W.
W., at George’s Coffee-house, upper end of the Haymarket.

It must not be supposed that the advertisements in reference to the elections emanated only from persons desirous of writing themselves down M.P.’s. There were plenty anxious as well as willing to assist them for a consideration. From many of that time we select one, still taking the _Morning Post_ as our guide:--

ANY Man of Fortune or Family wishing to enjoy an Honourable Station
for seven Years, and to accomplish it without the anxiety which
generally accompanies the attaining it by Contention, may probably be
accommodated to the utmost of his Wishes, by addressing himself to C.
C. to be left at the bar of the Chapter Coffee-house, Paternoster Row,
and disclosing his Name, the which he may do without the risk of being
divulged, as the advertiser pledges himself that the most inviolable
Delicacy and Secrecy will be observed.

We commend the foregoing to the notice of the gentlemen who talk of Conservatism as the bulwark of the nation, and rejoice over any so-called political reaction. However, as Conservatism now means “dishing the Whigs” by the most advanced measures, we can put up with it, and so pass on to another specimen from the _Morning Post_, which is published at the same time as the foregoing, and is found snugly ensconced among those of quite a different tendency:--

A YOUNG Gentleman of the most liberal education and a genteel Address,
would be happy in having an opportunity of devoting his services to a
Lady of real fashion and fortune, who may wish to have some particular
deficiencies thoroughly supplied, without subjecting herself to any
disagreeable restraint. Any lady to whom such an offer may be
suitable, will receive the fullest Explanation, in answer to a letter
addressed to A. X. Turk’s head Coffee House, Strand.

We will leave this without further comment than the expression of a sad idea that this young gentleman knew what was marketable, as well as a belief that he and others like him may have done much to prevent the titles and fortunes of noblemen and gentlemen who married late in life from passing to remote branches. We have no wish to intrude our opinions, which are strong as our faith in human nature is weak, but the advertisement is only a specimen of many others, and, like its congeners, appears in one of the highest class daily papers of the time. Folk are not so outspoken now as was the fashion a hundred years ago, yet is there any one who will venture to state that we are more virtuous? It will be the natural impulse of many who read the next advertisement, which is also from the now fashionable and severely virtuous _Post_ (date January 21, 1775), to cry out against the unnatural guardian who offers to sell his ward. Perhaps though, if they take time to reflect, they may remember instances of marriage for money, which, if not so public, were quite as iniquitous. Listen to a gentleman of honour of the last century:--

A GENTLEMAN of Honour and Property, having in his disposal at present
a young Lady of good Family, with a fortune of Sixty Thousand Pounds,
on her Marriage with his approbation, would be very happy to treat
with a Man of Fashion and Family, who may think it worth his while to
give the Advertiser a Gratuity of Five thousand pounds on the day of
Marriage. As this is no common advertisement, it is expected no
Gentleman will apply whose Family and Connections will not bear the
strictest enquiry. The Advertiser having always lived retired from the
World, immersed in business, is unacquainted with those of that Rank
of Life that the Lady’s fortune entitles her to be connected with,
for which reason he has made this public application. Letters
addressed to L. M., at Tom’s Coffee House, Devereux Court, near the
Temple, mentioning real Name, and places of Abode, will punctually be
attended to.

This is not so bad for a poor innocent who has lived retired from the world. And doubtless, though he was unacquainted with those of that rank of life to which a lady with sixty thousand pounds might well aspire, he was not to be deceived by even the most specious of fortune-hunters, Irishmen included. But here is another notice quite as interesting, though of a very different kind. It is also from the _Morning Post_, and appears a few days after that we have chosen to precede it:--

To the LADIES on MONEY AFFAIRS.

WHEREAS there are Sundry Ladies Who Have Two, Three, Or Four thousand
pounds, or even more Money at their command, and who, from not knowing
how to dispose of the same to the greatest advantage, but by living on
the Small Interests which the stocks produce, afford them but a scanty
Maintenance, especially to those who have been accustomed to
Affluence, and would wish to live so still; the Advertiser (who is a
Gentleman of independent Fortune, strict Honour and Character, and
above any other reward than the pleasure of serving the Sex) acquaints
such Ladies, that if they will favour him with their Name and Address,
so as he may wait on them as opportunity best suits, he will put them
into a Method by which they may, without any Trouble, and with an
absolute Certainty, place out their Money, so as for it to produce
them a clear and lawful interest of Ten or Twelve per cent, and that
too on equally as good and safe Securities as if in the Funds, or on
Mortgage at the common low interest, etc.

Please to direct to R. J. Esq. at the Turks Head Coffee house,
opposite Catharine Street, in the Strand, and the same will be duly
attended to.

There was no Associate Institute then to look after the interests of unprotected females; and perhaps if there had been, so plausible a rogue would not have attracted the attention of its highly paid officials. But the “weaker vessels” seem able to take their own parts at advertising, for the following is by no means a unique specimen of their effusions. Once again we draw from the _Morning Post_, the date being December 15, 1775:--

A LADY wishes to borrow One Hundred Pounds. The Security, though
personal, may probably be very agreeable to a single Gentleman of
spirit. Every particular will be communicated with Candour and
Sincerity, where confidence is so far reposed as to give the real Name
and Address of the party willing to oblige the Advertiser. Gentlemen
of real Fortune and liberal Sentiments, and those only, are requested
to address a line to Y. N. at Mr Dyke’s, Cross Street, Long-Acre.

This lady was modest as well as candid and sincere; it is to be hoped she was pretty also, or else she had small chance. But now comes not virtue but honours in distress, and sufficiently hungry to be satisfied with very dirty pudding. In our own times baronets have seen unpleasantnesses; we remember one who used to do casual reporting, fires, accidents, coroners’ inquests, &c., and another who took to the stage, unsuccessfully. But he who advertised in the _Daily Advertiser_ of January 23, 1776, was worse off than any titled successor. Judge for yourselves:--

MATRIMONY.

For Fifty Pounds only, may gain One Hundred and Forty Thousand.

A BARONET of Great Britain, that has an eligible chance and right in
thirteen distinct Claims to speedily recover the above Sum, or to
expect part by a Compromise, inforced by a very little Assistance,
will marry any Woman, though with Child, or having Children by a
former Husband, that will put such a Fifty-pound ticket in such
Lottery; the remainder of her Money, if any, will be settled upon her;
his person may not be objected to, and her Attorney may liberally
inspect Writings, &c. which in form set forth his expectancies
perspicuously; and any young Counsel or others may gain an Advantage,
even a Fortune, by offering a small benevolent Assistance. Direct for
the Baronet, at No. 2, near Blenheim Steps, in Oxford St., opposite
Oxford Market, who has also a profession that may be made very
advantageous for any new Adventurer in the physical way, that has a
little money to join with him as a Partner. A patient hearing will
obviate all Objection, and the strictest Secrecy and Honour may be
depended on.

It is noticeable that “the Baronet,” like those of his rank already referred to, was not above turning his hand to earn an honest penny. A little way back we invited the attention of Conservatives to an edifying extract; may we now dedicate the baronet’s appeal to those who would abolish the laws of primogeniture? Let them be advised in time, unless they should wish to see a duke reduced to despondency, or an earl holding horses for his living. No matter what happens to younger sons. Let them and their younger sons be swallowed up in the middle and lower classes, as they are now, though nobody seems to notice it; but let us preserve, no matter who else suffers, our titled aristocracy in its present exalted position. But what is to become of the scions of nobility who have no claim upon landed estate, when nepotism ceases to exist, sinecures are abolished, and all Government clerkships are matter of open competition! Frankly we do not know, but doubtless Providence will always be tenderly disposed towards persons of good family. Turning once more to the _Morning Post_ (February 15, 1776), we come upon an announcement the merits of which are hard to determine. It promises rather too much:--

FEMALE COMPANION.

A LADY of independent Fortune and liberal Sentiments would be glad if,
in procuring to herself an agreeable Companion she could at the same
time relieve from Distress, and perhaps prevent from utter Ruin, some
still deserving although unfortunate fair one; for she can make
allowance for the frailty of her own Sex, and knows the base arts of
the other; in a word, a _single_ _faux pas_ will be no objection,
provided there remain a virtuous Disposition, and that the person
wanted be good-natured, affable, and sincere in the account she may
give of herself, which for that purpose may at first be anonymous. She
must also possess the usual accomplishments required by a good
Education; know something of Music, have an agreeable Voice, and a
genteel Person, not under twenty nor above the age of twenty-five
years. Such as come within this description may apply by letter to B.
D. at the York Coffee House, St James’s Street, and the apparently
most deserving will be enquired after. No kept Mistress or lady of
Pleasure need apply.

There seems more of the procuress than the patron about this; still there is no knowing what the taste of an elderly single lady who fancied herself injured by the opposite sex would not lead her to do. So leaving the question open, and trusting the reader will be able to satisfy himself as to the purity or the reverse of the advertiser’s motives, we will pass on to _Lloyd’s Evening Post_, in which, about the same time, we find the following, which is worthy of notice:--

MONEY wanted--when it can be procured--£100. No security can be given
for the _Principal_, and possibly the _Interest_ may not be punctually
paid. Under the above circumstances should any one be found willing to
lend the desired Sum, he will much _surprise_, and particularly
_oblige_ the author of this advertisement.--Direct for A. B. C.
George’s Coffeehouse, Haymarket.

Even the “author” of this, confident and assured as he must be generally, seems to doubt the readiness of people to part with their money without some inducement, no matter how slight. If A. B. C. had offered something impossible of fulfilment in return for the desired loan, he would very likely have had many applications, whereas it would be hard to believe that in the present instance he had even one. Now, if he had adopted a plan similar to that which is advertised in the _Morning Chronicle_ of April 9, 1776, he would have had a much better chance of raising the wind. This must have arrested the attention and diverted the current of pocket-money of many young lovers:--

AFFECTION.

ANY Lady or Gentleman who has made an honourable Connection, may be
acquainted if the other party has a reciprocal Affection; and so nice
is the method, that it gives in a great measure the degree of esteem.
No fortune-telling, nor anything trifling in it, but is a serious and
sincere Procedure. To divest any apprehension of discovery of parties,
the initials of their names is sufficient. That the meaning of the
advertiser may be ascertained, it is only asked for A. B. to know if
C. D. has a genuine affection; and of C. D. if A. B. has the like. It
is requested that honest Initials be sent, else the deposit of two
shillings and sixpence is useless. But to convince those that send for
the intelligence of the use of this, they need only to send with the
real, other Initials indifferent to them, and they will be satisfied.
Absence or distance does not abate the certainty of the then present
Esteem and Affection.

Letters (free) directed to S. J., No. 11, Duke-street, Grosvenor
Square, will have honest answers left there, or sent conformable to
the address, in a day or two after their Receipt.

The next advertisement we find in our collection savours less of affection, for the desire of the inserter seems to be to prevent some one to whom he has an objection inheriting entailed estates. It has its value, in addition to what consideration may be given to it as a specimen of the manners of the last century, as showing the kind of people who then made the laws. Decency must have made a decided advance, look at it from what point we will, since April 16, 1776, when this appeared in the _Public Advertiser_:--

A GENTLEMAN who hath filled two succeeding seats in Parliament, is
near sixty years of age, lives in great splendour and hospitality, and
from whom a considerable Estate must pass if he dies without issue,
hath no objection to marry any Widow or single Lady, provided the
party be of genteel birth, polite manners, and five, six, seven, or
eight Months gone in her Pregnancy.

Letters directed to ---- Brecknock, Esq., at Will’s Coffee House,
facing the Admiralty, will be honoured with due attention, secrecy,
and every possible mark of respect.

In the _Daily Advertiser_ of July, in the same year, we find the following, which, though of a much more legitimate character than that just quoted, and directed to the interests of fair and honest trading, will repay perusal:--

TWO Men beg leave to acquaint the Public in general that they keep the
cleanest Barber’s Shop in all London, where the people can have their
Hair cut for 2d., dressed for 3d., and be shaved for 1d. One of these
Men can bleed and draw teeth very well; he bleeds both in the English
and German manner, as well at home as abroad, and is exceeding
careful. Bleeding 3d., drawing teeth 4d. There is a parlour made in
the shop on purpose for bleeding and drawing teeth. The people may
depend on being served immediately and well in every respect. No
satisfaction, no pay. The above-mentioned Shop is at No. 7 King
Street, Seven Dials.

Bleeding nowadays is still done by barbers, though not in the same way, nor so scientifically, as practised by the two clean shopkeepers of King Street. Shaving as a high art is neglected nowadays, a state of affairs traceable to the beard and moustache movement of the last twenty years, which has rendered shaving below the attention of true artists, who now give their attention to “cutting and curling,” &c. Any one who doubts this had better trust himself to the untender mercies of half-a-dozen different barbers, in ordinary thoroughfares, and where the prices are fixed at ordinary rates. Before he has tried the sixth establishment he will not only have conformed to our views, but will be a considerably altered, if not an improved, man. In the _Morning Post_ of October 13, 1778, we come across an appeal to the short-sighted, which is worthy of the tribes of welchers who in our own times have made large fortunes through advertising in the columns of the sporting papers. This must have been something like the “discretionary investment” dodge, which brought in large sums to swindling firms who professed to govern the turf a few years back, and whose advertisements occupied whole columns in the newspapers:--

A SERIOUS though SURPRISING OFFER.

FOR the compliment of One Hundred Guineas, any enterprizing Gentleman
or Lady may have revealed to them an eligible method of converting
hundreds into Thousands, in a few weeks, and of continuing so to do
yearly. The requiring so inadequate a consideration, is because the
proposer is under misfortunes. Only letters with real names and
residencies will be regarded. Direct for W. W., at the King’s Bench
Coffee-House.

In the early part of 1778 (May 7) the _Morning Post_ contained the following appeal for an article which has been scarce ever since the world began, which is not valued much when possessed, and which is about the last thing one could hope to obtain through the medium of an advertisement, no matter how cunningly contrived, nor how great the circulation of the paper in which it appeared:--