Chapter XVII: Matrimonial Advertisements and Agencies (2)

L. S. W., twenty-one, dark, and considered handsome, lithe in figure,
of the medium height, and of a good family, would like to receive the
carte-de-visite of a young lady, a blond preferred. He is shortly
going abroad, probably to Mexico, or some of the republics adjacent,
where he intends to make a name and fortune. He is very ambitious, and
intends joining an army where there is active service. He wants a wife
who would encourage his plans and undertakings. One who would share
with him the toils of a camp life, or who would rule in Courts. One
who would receive homage from the savage tribes of Northern and
Central America, or would maintain her husband’s position as an
officer and gentleman of honour both at home and at Court. He is of a
very loving disposition, though rather hasty, and to a lady who would
do as he wished he would be an affectionate, loving husband,
companion, and protector.

That matrimonial clubs or agencies are still in existence is shown by a case tried quite recently before Sir James Hannen in the Divorce Court--a wife’s petition for a judicial separation on the ground of her husband’s cruelty. The counsel for the petitioner stated that she was a lady of property, residing in Liverpool, and that the respondent was a clerk in a firm in the same town. He was a member of a Matrimonial Club, whose object was to secure for its members wives with good fortunes; and as an instance of what kind of alliances result from the interference of these establishments, we give some of the evidence. The respondent, whose chief object was to get money, was very violent on finding soon after the marriage that his wife had not nearly so much as he had anticipated. He was guilty of drunkenness and assaults, and treated his wife in a very brutal manner. The petitioner said that her father died on Christmas Day, 1866. On his death she had an income of £400 for her separate use. She made the acquaintance of the respondent some two or three years before, and he was at that time a clerk in a firm of shipbrokers. At the marriage no settlement was made; but a few days after the respondent asked for any papers she might have. She gave him them. She had £675 in a building society, and he wrote out a form that she signed, and the money was transferred to him. He often said that £400 per annum was a very paltry sum, and that if he had a few thousands he could go into business. Petitioner’s mother had a considerable sum, and her name being the same, had led the defendant into the error of marrying a woman with only a “paltry £400 a year,” instead of a lot of ready money. Soon after the marriage he took to drinking, and was violent in his language. The latter, the petitioner believed, arose from his being disappointed at the smallness of her fortune. She found a letter of a very immoral character addressed to her husband. She was much annoyed, and sent the letter to the office. When the respondent returned he brought a friend with him, and used most violent language. After the friend had gone to bed the respondent pulled her on to the floor, bit her in the neck, ground her beads into powder, and bit a piece out of a glass. This latter act, it must be admitted, is a rather novel way of showing disappointment, even in matters like these. The friend was at once called for, and assisted to hold the disappointed man down. In August 1870 defendant tore a piece of skin from her arm. He had been drinking for some time, and tried to prevent her seeing her mother, who only lived a few hundred yards away. The mother was doubtless a sore point with him. He said that once a month was often enough to see her, but witness went more frequently. The family doctor saw the injuries which she sustained. In the same month the respondent called her very foul names, and threatened to strangle her and throw her out of the window. His threats were so violent that she never expected to see the morning. On one occasion he came home drunk, and partook of three large bottles of champagne. This would be a dangerous experiment for a sober man to make in these degenerate days. Afterwards he fell backwards, and she had to stay with him all night. In March 1871 she went to her mother’s to tea, and when she returned he used very bad language, and made all sorts of charges about her conduct, which were false. When sober, he said she ought not to take any notice of this. Her first child was born in 1870, and her medical adviser told her to go away. She was anxious to take the child with her, which her husband would not allow, and during her absence he sent it from home. On hearing of this she at once returned, and he refused to tell her where the child was, until she wrote a letter which he forced her to write. On a Sunday after this he returned home drunk, and when she remonstrated with him, he said that he was not half drunk, but soon would be so. He then took the decanters out of the cupboard, and threw them at her. This was, to say the least, eccentric, as a means to the end of drunkenness. She was so frightened at his conduct that she had to seek protection amongst neighbours. On the 20th of December witness was in the house alone with respondent, who threatened to kill her, stating that he often wished to do so, and now that they were alone there was a good opportunity. He then got hold of the carving-knife, and stood over her with it. He then said that would not do, but a pistol or razor would. Corroborative evidence as to the violence was given by the doctor who attended the petitioner, and noticed bruises on her; and by a servant who formerly lived with the parties to the suit. His lordship granted a decree of judicial separation, with costs, the wife to have the custody of the child. Marriage for money and money alone, without any consideration as to whether the contracting persons are at all suited to each other, is almost bound to end in unpleasantness, more especially when the fortune-hunter finds that he has married the daughter instead of the mother, and has only a “paltry £400 a year” and a little ready money to subsist on.

There is at the present time in London a weekly newspaper specially devoted to the interests of those who wish to marry or to give in marriage, and as the copy we have before us under date May 9, 1874, is numbered 214, and is full of advertisements all referring to the holy state of matrimony, it is to be presumed that the supply is caused by a most undoubted demand for an organ of intercommunication between kindred souls which scorn to be trammelled by ordinary social restrictions, or to which conventionalities can bring no balm. Love is a fierce flame, and people who feel it burning within them, and know no object on whom to bestow the priceless blessing, are apt to try any short cut that offers itself, instead of biding their time and going the ordinary slow-coach road which lumbering old-fashioned etiquette suggests. Therefore we take up our paper with interest, and receive with pleasure the intimation that it is “a weekly journal devoted to the promotion of marriage and conjugal felicity.” We say pleasure advisedly, for most editors would have been satisfied to promote marriage, and have let the subsequent felicity look after itself. We must admit that we fail to find any further reference to the future happiness of couples in our copy; perhaps it is to be secured by a regular supply of the newspaper, so that those already done for may see how the remaining lovers are getting on. On the front page there are ten “rules and regulations” to be complied with by advertisers, the most important of which seems to be that “_bona fide_ notices from ladies and gentlemen desirous of marrying will be inserted at the rate of twelve stamps per forty words,” with a reduction by taking a quantity, and that “all introductions are given on the understanding that the lady and gentleman shall each pay a fee to the editor within a month after marriage.” Why these are called rules and regulations we don’t pretend to know. The editor also offers, as one of the rules, to give advice on the subject of courtship or marriage, by which it would appear that he has had an extended experience of both. Yet this supposition is hardly borne out by a request--also one of the ten regulations--for contributions “calculated to enlighten the public mind in reference to marriage and other kindred subjects.” Maybe, great as is the editor’s own knowledge of marriage “and other kindred subjects,” he cannot write equal to the demands of such a topic. Certainly he and his advertisers have the most original ideas of both orthography and syntax. Maybe also, the “address to the public,” which adds to the front-page glories, has been enough for him in the way of hard literary labour. It is certainly very nice, though short; and we regret that no such cunning hand could be obtained to give a few opening lines for the present chapter. But better late than never, and so we will borrow the “address” now. “Marriage,” says the editor, “is such an ancient institution, and has in all ages excited such universal interest among the human family, that in offering to the public a journal specially devoted to the promotion of marital felicity, we feel sure we are only supplying a national want. Civilisation, combined with the cold formalities of society and the rules of etiquette, imposes such restrictions on the sexes, that there are thousands of marriageable men and women, of all ages, capable of making each other happy, who never have a chance of meeting, either in town or country; therefore, the desirability of having some organ through which ladies and gentlemen aspiring to marriage can be honourably brought into communication, is too obvious to need demonstration; and as we are resolved to devote our best energies to advance the interests and happiness of our readers and correspondents, we feel sure the _Matrimonial News_ will meet with a generous support.” This appeal seems to have met with a good response, as there are no less than 331 advertisements of various lengths, all relating to marriage, in the number before us. It is noticeable, however, that many of them have a striking family likeness, and a peculiarity of constructive style is evidenced by a great number in each column. It is hardly fair to suppose that half-a-dozen ladies of forty anxious for husbands would describe themselves as orphans, yet we find no less than eight ladies in one page, all content with that classification, whose united ages amount to 313 years, one being thirty-five, another thirty-eight, and six admitting to be forty each; but these are insignificant compared with a poor young thing who appears close by, and whose application runs thus:--

227 AN orphan LADY, aged 52, of good connexions, and an income of £160
a year, wishes to hear from a gentleman not under 60. Address with
Editor.

This orphan business may be partly an intimation that there are no mothers-in-law to fear, besides being an appeal to the charitable to prevent giddy young creatures straying into harm’s way. The columns of this unique journal are also strong in the military, several colonels and some other officers being anxious to commit matrimony.

From 331 advertisements, all peculiar, it is hard to make anything like a judicial selection; but there are a few specimens we have determined on giving, even though others must suffer and be left in the cold shade of neglect. We will commence with

245 A WIDOWER, aged 60, healthy and active, with a business of about
£150 a year, wishes to correspond with a well educated lady, from 40
to 50 with a view to early marriage. Address with Editor.

This will doubtless throw a new light on the question of early marriages, which seems to have been hitherto handled in a selfish and one-sided manner. Sixty and fifty can hardly ever be “too early wed.” Next we come upon

124 CATHLEEN, aged 30, a Widow LADY, without children, income £7,000,
residing in a handsome house, surrounded by a park of 200 acres,
within 50 miles of London, would correspond with a Nobleman or
Gentleman of position, with a view to marriage. Address with Editor.

Probably there are many noblemen and gentlemen with whom Cathleen mixes in daily intercourse who do not dream that she wishes to be married again, and she is of course too much a lady to let them know the state of her feelings. Which accounts for her confiding in the editor, who must be a perfect Pantechnicon of secrets. The intelligent foreigner is not blind to the advantages of advertising for what he requires, as witness

9982 A Spanish GENTLEMAN, aged 30 years, residing at Seville
(Andalusia), tall, good looking, very swell, rather a meriodinal type,
an income of £1,000. He knows English thoroughly, and would like to
correspond with the following ladies: Nos. 9442, 9697, 9646, and 9710.
Address with Editor.

He knows English better than we do in England, if he understands what a “meriodinal type” is; and the editor doesn’t offer to explain. But the latter is evidently too interested in the following to trouble himself with small and foreign fry:--

195 A BACHELOR, 32, height 6 feet, strong, fair and considered good
looking, closely connected with nobility, and moving in the best
county society, one brother inherits entailed estates and two in the
army, a member of one of the most particular west-end clubs, residence
family mansion beautifully situated on the bank of a large river,
disposition amiable and energetic, would not mind getting married, if
I could meet a suitable wife. She must be of a loveable disposition,
good figure and pleasing face, and have a fortune of not less than
£10,000 to enable me to buy out the other partner in a large
manufactory which cost £23,000, and yealds over £3,000 per annum,
without which I will not become a benedict for years. Would like
communicate with 9920, 9852, or 9803. Address L. M. A., Editor M. N.,
282, Strand.

These figures refer, of course, to young ladies who have advertised for the connections of the nobility in previous numbers. When the School Board has done with the children of costermongers and other plebeians, it will have to turn its attention to the members of particular West-End clubs, whose education seems to have been somewhat neglected, so far as grammar is concerned. Should the fair creatures referred to by L. M. A. be already suited, or the inducements held out be insufficient for them, our next may be worthy of his attention:--

284 A Young LADY, tall, fair, and beautiful, with a great profusion of
golden hair, and an income of £800 a year, wishes to correspond with a
gentleman of position with a view to marriage. Editor has address.

Quite a modern Miss Kilmansegg, with the advantage of having the typical adornment in the shape of golden hair instead of a golden leg. This reference to poetry is of great advantage, as it puts us in a proper frame to consider the following:--

“Oh, woman, in our hours of ease,
Uncertain, coy, and hard to please;
When pain or sickness rend the brow,
A ministering angel thou.”

9828 A Young WIDOW, highly connected, dark hair and eyes, considered
pretty, good income, desires to marry, she does not deny that she
might at times realize the two first lines of the couplet quoted
above, but she can assure any gentleman willing to make the experiment
that she is as certain to be true to the conclusion. Address with
Editor.

Even Scott has to succumb to the grammatical requirements of the marriage advocate and its readers; but the alteration from the original is as nothing compared with the reference to “the two first lines of the couplet.” There is poetry of a different kind in the next specimen, which deserves particular attention:--

45 I am a BACHELOR, 28, tall and gentlemanly. My income being £150
only (though prospects good), I seek an amiable, educated wife, with
private means. Should 10,000, 9920, 9851, 9960, Geraldine, Miss Kate,
Miss Maxwell, 9852, 9828, 9878, 9885, or other lady under 28, with at
least £2,000 in own control, deem my position compatible with her
views, I should much like to correspond. I am well educated, of
refined and intellectual tastes, fond of literature and home, of sound
moral principles, eschewing smoking, drinking, gambling, and all fast
life delusions, of undoubted respectability, unquestionable honour and
integrity, of equable temper, and kind, generous heart. Believing a
true wife to be man’s greatest blessing, I fully intend being a good
husband or none at all, and shall treat my wife not merely with the
courtesy due to a lady, but with the respectful consideration to a
woman. As this is bona fide, inviolable honour observed and expected.
Particulars of age, income, and disposition respectfully solicited.
Address with Editor.

O true poetic soul longing for a mate! O noble heart of undoubted respectability and unquestionable honour! may you go on and prosper! Even teetotalism can be fervid, and an equable temper may become quickened, when matrimony stirs up the feelings; and so catching is the impulse, that we should like to fold this young man to our breast, and present him with our favourite daughter. But she hasn’t got £2000, and so, regretting the circumstance, we pass on to

8672 A PHYSICIAN of noble lineage (of French and English extraction),
of statue about 5ft. 8 inches, aged 36 years, of dark complexion, with
black hair and eyes, possessing a strong and healthy constitution,
desires to form the acquaintance, with a view to matrimony, of a Lady
from 19 to 23 or 24 years, who must be of a noble family or the upper
class; brunette preferred, if not of a medium complexion with black or
dark hair, and eyes having a fine physique, with some embonpoint,
pretty, of an affectione disposition, with a heart true and loving,
talented, speaking or understanding French and Italian, or the other
foreign languages; in height about 5 feet 6 to 8 inches. Also must
possess in her own right considerable fortune, and having no
incumbrance preferred. In effect a Girl who can ever love a man with
an affectionate disposition. Photograph and address with Editor.

This noble physician evidently wishes for a wife whom he may eventually stuff and exhibit, even if he does not take her “round the country” during life. Few people would object to paying sixpence or so to see, among other things, eyes having a fine physique; and so we trust 8672 may get the wife he wishes for. She would, however, if existent, as a matter of natural selection prefer our next friend, and then they could mutually rejoice over each other’s tastes and peculiarities:--

9971 VEGETARIAN, a young man who does not use flesh as food; a Roman
Catholic, humble, well-educated, and connected. A lover of temperance,
truth, literature, fruit, flowers, and economy, income about £80 a
year, wishes for a wife with similar tastes, principles, and income,
or as nearly so as possible.--The address with Editor.

The fact of being connected is such an entirely new qualification, that we feel compelled to pause and wonder; and this will be an opportunity for withdrawing from a perusal which is very fascinating, but which threatens to prolong this chapter unduly. There are many more noticeable advertisements, but those we have given will be sufficient to show the character of the newspaper from which we have selected them, as well as the credulity of its public, who are either gulled into paying for matrimonial applications, or deluded into purchasing it in the hope that by its means husbands or wives may be secured. That Oxford “double firsts,” Cambridge wranglers, members of Parliament, military and naval officers of high rank, peers of the realm, and beneficed clergymen, would send twaddling and ungrammatical advertisements to this paper, so as to secure wives, we no more believe than we do that eminent authoresses and ladies of rank and property would avail themselves of its services to secure to themselves husbands. If we are wrong, and these advertisements are all _bonâ fide_, and what they profess to be, then a paternal Government, which legislates against betting and strong drink, which puts a tax on quack medicines, and subscribes to compulsory education, should fulfil its _métier_ by preventing the public exposure of idiotcy we have just been contemplating, more especially as no good can possibly be the outcome of it.

[46] This Mrs Cornelys was a notoriety of the period. She lived at
Carlisle House, Soho Square, where she, coming from Germany, of which
country she was a native, settled in or about 1756. Her business was
to entertain “the votaries of fashion of both sexes” with masked and
other balls, and suchlike festivities. Mrs Cornelys seems to have
thoroughly understood the advantages of judicious puffery, and her
advertisements usually appeared as news paragraphs. On February 18,
1763, there appeared a good specimen of the kind of notice she most
affected. It says, “On Saturday last Mrs Cornelys gave a ball at
Carlisle House, to the upper servants of persons of fashion, as a
token of the sense she has of her obligations to the nobility and
gentry, for their generous subscription to her assembly. The company
consisted of 220 persons, who made up fourscore couple in country
dances; and as scarce anybody was idle on this occasion, the rest sat
down to cards.” Carlisle House was kept open by means of annual
subscriptions, and the fast young men of the period, and not a few
older sinners, patronised the establishment. Rules and regulations
were published, and from them we learn that members’ tickets were
transferable provided the name of the holder was written on the back.
There are in the papers between 1757 and 1772 frequent references to
the grand doings at this notorious place of assignation; but
notwithstanding all her customers and her various ways of making
money, Mrs Cornelys’s name appears in a _Gazette_ of November in the
latter year among the bankrupts. She is described as “Teresa Cornelys,
Carlisle House, St Ann, Soho, dealer.” This, however, says very little
as to her success or the want of it, for bankruptcy meant anything but
ruin a hundred years ago, if one had only money enough to break
properly.