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Chapter XXXV: Introduction (35)

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'I do not know that you have ever touched upon a certain species of
Women, whom we ordinarily call Jilts. You cannot possibly go upon a
more useful Work, than the Consideration of these dangerous Animals.
The Coquet is indeed one Degree towards the Jilt; but the Heart of the
former is bent upon admiring her self, and giving false Hopes to her
Lovers; but the latter is not contented to be extreamly amiable, but
she must add to that Advantage a certain Delight in being a Torment to
others. Thus when her Lover is in the full Expectation of Success, the
Jilt shall meet him with a sudden Indifference, and Admiration in her
Face at his being surprised that he is received like a Stranger, and a
Cast of her Head another Way with a pleasant Scorn of the Fellow's
Insolence. It is very probable the Lover goes home utterly astonished
and dejected, sits down to his Scrutore, sends her word in the most
abject Terms, That he knows not what he has done; that all which was
desirable in this Life is so suddenly vanished from him, that the
Charmer of his Soul should withdraw the vital Heat from the Heart
which pants for her. He continues a mournful Absence for some time,
pining in Secret, and out of Humour with all things which he meets
with. At length he takes a Resolution to try his Fate, and explain
with her resolutely upon her unaccountable Carriage. He walks up to
her Apartment, with a thousand Inquietudes and Doubts in what Manner
he shall meet the first Cast of her Eye; when upon his first
Appearance she flies towards him, wonders where he has been, accuses
him of his Absence, and treats him with a Familiarity as surprising as
her former Coldness. This good Correspondence continues till the Lady
observes the Lover grows happy in it, and then she interrupts it with
some new Inconsistency of Behaviour. For (as I just now said) the
Happiness of a Jilt consists only in the Power of making others
uneasy. But such is the Folly of this Sect of Women, that they carry
on this pretty skittish Behaviour, till they have no charms left to
render it supportable. Corinna, that used to torment all who conversed
with her with false Glances, and little heedless unguarded Motions,
that were to betray some Inclination towards the Man she would
ensnare, finds at present all she attempts that way unregarded; and is
obliged to indulge the Jilt in her Constitution, by laying Artificial
Plots, writing perplexing Letters from unknown Hands, and making all
the young Fellows in Love with her, till they find out who she is.
Thus as before she gave Torment by disguising her Inclination, she is
now obliged to do it by hiding her Person.

As for my own Part, Mr, SPECTATOR, it has been my unhappy Fate to be
jilted from my Youth upward; and as my Taste has been very much
towards Intreague, and having Intelligence with Women of Wit, my whole
Life has passed away in a Series of Impositions. I shall, for the
Benefit of the present Race of young Men, give some Account of my
Loves. I know not whether you have ever heard of the famous Girl about
Town called Kitty: This Creature (for I must take Shame upon my self)
was my Mistress in the Days when Keeping was in Fashion. Kitty, under
the Appearance of being Wild, Thoughtless, and Irregular in all her
Words and Actions, concealed the most accomplished Jilt of her Time.
Her Negligence had to me a Charm in it like that of Chastity, and Want
of Desires seemed as great a Merit as the Conquest of them. The Air
she gave herself was that of a Romping Girl, and whenever I talked to
her with any Turn of Fondness, she would immediately snatch off my
Perriwig, try it upon herself in the Glass, clap her Arms a Kimbow,
draw my Sword, and make Passes on the Wall, take off my Cravat, and
seize it to make some other Use of the Lace, or run into some other
unaccountable Rompishness, till the Time I had appointed to pass away
with her was over. I went from her full of Pleasure at the Reflection
that I had the keeping of so much Beauty in a Woman, who, as she was
too heedless to please me, was also too inattentive to form a Design
to wrong me. Long did I divert every Hour that hung heavy upon me in
the Company of this Creature, whom I looked upon as neither Guilty or
Innocent, but could laugh at my self for my unaccountable Pleasure in
an Expence upon her, till in the End it appeared my pretty Insensible
was with Child by my Footman.

This Accident roused me into a Disdain against all Libertine Women,
under what Appearance soever they hid their Insincerity, and I
resolved after that Time to converse with none but those who lived
within the Rules of Decency and Honour. To this End I formed my self
into a more regular Turn of Behaviour, and began to make Visits,
frequent Assemblies, and lead out Ladies from the Theatres, with all
the other insignificant Duties which the professed Servants of the
Fair place themselves in constant Readiness to perform. In a very
little time, (having a plentiful Fortune) Fathers and Mothers began to
regard me as a good Match, and I found easie Admittance into the best
Families in Town to observe their daughters; but I, who was born to
follow the Fair to no Purpose, have by the Force of my ill Stars made
my Application to three Jilts successively.

Hyæna is one of those who form themselves into a melancholy and
indolent Air, and endeavour to gain Admirers from their Inattention to
all around them. Hyaena can loll in her Coach, with something so fixed
in her Countenance, that it is impossible to conceive her Meditation
is employed only on her Dress and her Charms in that Posture. If it
were not too coarse a Simile, I should say, Hyaena, in the Figure she
affects to appear in, is a Spider in the midst of a Cobweb, that is
sure to destroy every Fly that approaches it. The Net Hyaena throws is
so fine, that you are taken in it before you can observe any Part of
her Work. I attempted her for a long and weary Season, but I found her
Passion went no farther than to be admired; and she is of that
unreasonable Temper, as not to value the Inconstancy of her Lovers
provided she can boast she once had their Addresses.

Biblis was the second I aimed at, and her Vanity lay in purchasing the
Adorers of others, and not in rejoicing in their Love it self. Biblis
is no Man's Mistress, but every Woman's Rival. As soon as I found
this, I fell in Love with Chloe, who is my present Pleasure and
Torment. I have writ to her, danced with her, and fought for her, and
have been her Man in the Sight and Expectation of the whole Town
[these [1]] three Years, and thought my self near the End of my
Wishes; when the other Day she called me into her Closet, and told me,
with a very grave Face, that she was a Woman of Honour, and scorned to
deceive a Man who loved her with so much Sincerity as she saw I did,
and therefore she must inform me that she was by Nature the most
inconstant Creature breathing, and begg'd of me not to marry her; If I
insisted upon it, I should; but that she was lately fallen in Love
with another. What to do or say I know not, but desire you to inform
me, and you will infinitely oblige,

SIR, Your most humble Servant,

Charles Yellow.

[Footnote 1: "this", and in first reprint.]

* * * * *

ADVERTISEMENT.

Mr. Sly, Haberdasher of Hats,
at the Corner of Devereux-Court in the Strand,
gives notice,
That he has prepared very neat Hats, Rubbers, and Brushes
for the Use of young Tradesmen in their last Year of Apprenticeship,
at reasonable Rates. [1]

[Footnote 1:

"Last night died of a mortification in his leg, after a long time
enduring the same, John Sly, the late famous haberdasher, so often
mentioned in the 'Spectator'."

'Evening Post', April 15, 1729.]

* * * * *

No. 188. Friday, October 5, 1711. Steele.

'Loetus sum Laudari à te Laudato viro.'

Tull.

He is a very unhappy Man who sets his Heart upon being admired by the Multitude, or affects a general and undistinguishing Applause among Men. What pious Men call the Testimony of a good Conscience, should be the Measure of our Ambition in this Kind; that is to say, a Man of Spirit should contemn the Praise of the Ignorant, and like being applauded for nothing but what he knows in his own Heart he deserves. Besides which the Character of the Person who commends you is to be considered, before you set a Value upon his Esteem. The Praise of an ignorant Man is only Good-will, and you should receive his Kindness as he is a good Neighbour in Society, and not as a good Judge of your Actions in Point of Fame and Reputation. The Satyrist said very well of popular Praise and Acclamations, Give the Tinkers and Coblers their Presents again, and learn to live of your self. [1] It is an Argument of a loose and ungoverned Mind to be affected with the promiscuous Approbation of the Generality of Mankind; and a Man of Virtue should be too delicate for so coarse an Appetite of Fame. Men of Honour should endeavour only to please the Worthy, and the Man of Merit should desire to be tried only by his Peers. I thought it a noble Sentiment which I heard Yesterday uttered in Conversation; I know, said a Gentleman, a Way to be greater than any Man: If he has Worth in him, I can rejoice in his Superiority to me; and that Satisfaction is a greater Act of the Soul in me, than any in him which can possibly appear to me. This Thought could not proceed but from a candid and generous Spirit; and the Approbation of such Minds is what may be esteemed true Praise. For with the common Rate of Men there is nothing commendable but what they themselves may hope to be Partakers of, or arrive at; but the Motive truly glorious is, when the Mind is set rather to do Things laudable, than to purchase Reputation. Where there is that Sincerity as the Foundation of a good Name, the kind Opinion of virtuous Men will be an unsought but a necessary Consequence. The Lacedemonians, tho' a plain People, and no Pretenders to Politeness, had a certain Delicacy in their Sense of Glory, and sacrificed to the Muses when they entered upon any great Enterprise. [2] They would have the Commemoration of their Actions be transmitted by the purest and most untainted Memorialists. The Din which attends Victories and publick Triumphs is by far less eligible, than the Recital of the Actions of great Men by honest and wise Historians. It is a frivolous Pleasure to be the Admiration of gaping Crowds; but to have the Approbation of a good Man in the cool Reflections of his Closet, is a Gratification worthy an heroick Spirit. The Applause of the Crowd makes the Head giddy, but the Attestation of a reasonable Man makes the Heart glad.

What makes the Love of popular or general Praise still more ridiculous, is, that it is usually given for Circumstances which are foreign to the Persons admired. Thus they are the ordinary Attendants on Power and Riches, which may be taken out of one Man's Hands, and put into another's: The Application only, and not the Possession, makes those outward things honourable. The Vulgar and Men of Sense agree in admiring Men for having what they themselves would rather be possessed of; the wise Man applauds him whom he thinks most virtuous; the rest of the World, him who is most wealthy.

When a Man is in this way of Thinking, I do not know what can occur to one more monstrous, than to see Persons of Ingenuity address their Services and Performances to Men no way addicted to Liberal Arts: In these Cases, the Praise on one hand, and the Patronage on the other, are equally the Objects of Ridicule. Dedications to ignorant Men are as absurd as any of the Speeches of Bulfinch in the Droll: Such an Address one is apt to translate into other Words; and when the Different Parties are thoroughly considered, the Panegyrick generally implies no more than if the Author should say to the Patron; My very good Lord, You and I can never understand one another, therefore I humbly desire we may be intimate Friends for the future.

The Rich may as well ask to borrow of the Poor, as the Man of Virtue or Merit hope for Addition to his Character from any but such as himself. He that commends another engages so much of his own Reputation as he gives to that Person commended; and he that has nothing laudable in himself is not of Ability to be such a Surety. The wise Phocion was so sensible how dangerous it was to be touched with what the Multitude approved, that upon a general Acclamation made when he was making an Oration, he turned to an intelligent Friend who stood near him, and asked, in a surprized Manner, What Slip have I made? [3]

I shall conclude this Paper with a Billet which has fallen into my Hands, and was written to a Lady from a Gentleman whom she had highly commended. The Author of it had formerly been her Lover. When all Possibility of Commerce between them on the Subject of Love was cut off, she spoke so handsomely of him, as to give Occasion for this Letter.

Madam,

"I should be insensible to a Stupidity, if I could forbear making you
my Acknowledgments for your late mention of me with so much Applause.
It is, I think, your Fate to give me new Sentiments; as you formerly
inspired me with the true Sense of Love, so do you now with the true
Sense of Glory. As Desire had the least Part in the Passion I
heretofore professed towards you, so has Vanity no Share in the Glory
to which you have now raised me. Innocence, Knowledge, Beauty, Virtue,
Sincerity, and Discretion, are the constant Ornaments of her who has
said this of me. Fame is a Babbler, but I have arrived at the highest
Glory in this World, the Commendation of the most deserving Person in
it."

T.

[Footnote 1: Persius. 'Sat. IV.' sec. 51.]

[Footnote 2: Plutarch in 'Life of Lycurgus'.]

[Footnote 3: Plutarch in 'Life of Phocion'.]

* * * * *

No. 189. Saturday, October 6, 1711. Addison.

'... Patriæ pietatis imago.'

Virg.

The following Letter being written to my Bookseller, upon a Subject of which I treated some time since, I shall publish it in this Paper, together with the Letter that was inclosed in it.

Mr. Buckley,

"Mr. SPECTATOR having of late descanted upon the Cruelty of Parents to
their Children, I have been induced (at the Request of several of Mr.
SPECTATOR'S Admirers) to inclose this Letter, which I assure you is
the Original from a Father to his own Son, notwithstanding the latter
gave but little or no Provocation. It would be wonderfully obliging to
the World, if Mr. SPECTATOR would give his Opinion of it, in some of
his Speculations, and particularly to"

(Mr. Buckley)

Your Humble Servant.

SIRRAH,

"You are a sawcy audacious Rascal, and both Fool and Mad, and I care
not a Farthing whether you comply or no; that does not raze out my
Impressions of your Insolence, going about Railing at me, and the next
Day to sollicit my Favour: These are Inconsistencies, such as discover
thy Reason depraved. To be brief, I never desire to see your Face;
and, Sirrah, if you go to the Work-house, it is no Disgrace to me for
you to be supported there; and if you Starve in the Streets, I'll
never give any thing underhand in your Behalf. If I have any more of
your scribling Nonsense I'll break your Head the first Time I set
Sight on you. You are a stubborn Beast; is this your Gratitude for my
giving you Mony? You Rogue, I'll better your Judgment, and give you a
greater Sense of your Duty to (I regret to say)
your Father, &c."

"P.S. It's Prudence for you to keep out of my Sight; for to reproach
me, that Might overcomes Right, on the Outside of your Letter, I shall
give you a great Knock on the Skull for it."

Was there ever such an Image of Paternal Tenderness! It was usual among some of the Greeks to make their Slaves drink to Excess, and then expose them to their Children, who by that means conceived an early Aversion to a Vice which makes Men appear so monstrous and irrational. I have exposed this Picture of an unnatural Father with the same Intention, that its Deformity may deter others from its Resemblance. If the Reader has a mind to see a Father of the same Stamp represented in the most exquisite Stroaks of Humour, he may meet with it in one of the finest Comedies that ever appeared upon the _English_ Stage: I mean the Part of Sir _Sampson_ [1] in 'Love for Love'.

I must not however engage my self blindly on the Side of the Son, to whom the fond Letter above-written was directed. His Father calls him a _sawcy and audacious Rascal_ in the first Line, and I am afraid upon Examination he will prove but an ungracious Youth. _To go about railing_ at his Father, and to find no other Place but _the Outside of his Letter_ to tell him _that Might overcomes Right_, if it does not discover _his Reason to be depraved_, and _that he is either Fool or Mad_, as the cholerick old Gentleman tells him, we may at least allow that the Father will do very well in endeavouring to _better his Judgment, and give him a greater Sense of his Duty_. But whether this may be brought about by _breaking his Head_, or _giving him a great Knock on the Skull_, ought, I think, to be well considered. Upon the whole, I wish the Father has not met with his Match, and that he may not be as equally paired with a Son, as the Mother in _Virgil_.

... Crudelis tu quoque mater:
Crudelis mater magis an puer Improbus ille?
Improbus ille puer, crudelis tu quoque mater. [2]

Or like the Crow and her Egg, in the _Greek_ Proverb,

[Greek (transliterated): Kakou korakos kakhon oon. [3]]

I must here take Notice of a Letter which I have received from an unknown Correspondent, upon the Subject of my Paper, upon which the foregoing Letter is likewise founded. The Writer of it seems very much concerned lest that Paper should seem to give Encouragement to the Disobedience of Children towards their Parents; but if the Writer of it will take the Pains to read it over again attentively, I dare say his Apprehensions will vanish. Pardon and Reconciliation are all the Penitent Daughter requests, and all that I contend for in her Behalf; and in this Case I may use the Saying of an eminent Wit, who, upon some great Men pressing him to forgive his Daughter who had married against his Consent, told them he could refuse nothing to their Instances, but that he would have them remember there was Difference between Giving and Forgiving.

I must confess, in all Controversies between Parents and their Children, I am naturally prejudiced in favour of the former. The Obligations on that Side can never be acquitted, and I think it is one of the greatest Reflections upon Human Nature that Parental Instinct should be a stronger Motive to Love than Filial Gratitude; that the receiving of Favours should be a less Inducement to Good-will, Tenderness and Commiseration, than the conferring of them; and that the taking care of any Person should endear the Child or Dependant more to the Parent or Benefactor, than the Parent or Benefactor to the Child or Dependant; yet so it happens, that for one cruel Parent we meet with a thousand undutiful Children. This is indeed wonderfully contrived (as I have formerly observed) for the Support of every living Species; but at the same time that it shews the Wisdom of the Creator, it discovers the Imperfection and Degeneracy of the Creature.

The Obedience of Children to their Parents is the Basis of all Government, and set forth as the Measure of that Obedience which we owe to those whom Providence hath placed over us.

It is Father Le Conte, [4] if I am not mistaken, who tells us how Want of Duty in this Particular is punished among the Chinese, insomuch that if a Son should be known to kill, or so much as to strike his Father, not only the Criminal but his whole Family would be rooted out, nay the Inhabitants of the Place where he lived would be put to the Sword, nay the Place itself would be razed to the Ground, and its Foundations sown with Salt; For, say they, there must have been an utter Depravation of Manners in that Clan or Society of People who could have bred up among them so horrible an Offender. To this I shall add a Passage out of the first Book of Herodotus. That Historian in his Account of the Persian Customs and Religion tells us, It is their Opinion that no Man ever killed his Father, or that it is possible such a Crime should be in Nature; but that if any thing like it should ever happen, they conclude that the reputed Son must have been Illegitimate, Supposititious, or begotten in Adultery. Their Opinion in this Particular shews sufficiently what a Notion they must have had of Undutifulness in general.

L.

[Footnote 1: Sir Sampson Legend in Congreve's play, which ends with the heroine's 'punishing an inhuman father and rewarding a faithful lover.']

[Footnote 2: Ecl. 8.]

[Footnote 3: Of bad Crow bad Egg.]

[Footnote 4: 'Present State of China,' Part 2. Letter to the Cardinal d'Estrees.]

* * * * *

No. 190. Monday, October 8, 1711. Steele.

'Servitus crescit nova ...'

Hor.

Since I made some Reflections upon the general Negligence used in the Case of Regard towards Women, or, in other Words, since I talked of Wenching, I have had Epistles upon that Subject, which I shall, for the present Entertainment, insert as they lye before me.

Mr. SPECTATOR,

'As your Speculations are not confined to any Part of Humane Life, but
concern the Wicked as well as the Good, I must desire your favourable
Acceptance of what I, a poor stroling Girl about Town, have to say to
you. I was told by a Roman Catholic Gentleman who picked me up last
Week, and who, I hope, is absolved for what passed between us; I say I
was told by such a Person, who endeavoured to convert me to his own
Religion, that in Countries where Popery prevails, besides the
Advantage of licensed Stews, there are large Endowments given for the
Incurabili, I think he called them, such as are past all Remedy, and
are allowed such Maintenance and Support as to keep them without
further Care till they expire. This manner of treating poor Sinners
has, methinks, great Humanity in it; and as you are a Person who
pretend to carry your Reflections upon all Subjects, whatever occur to
you, with Candour, and act above the Sense of what Misinterpretation
you may meet with, I beg the Favour of you to lay before all the World
the unhappy Condition of us poor Vagrants, who are really in a Way of
Labour instead of Idleness. There are Crowds of us whose Manner of
Livelihood has long ceased to be pleasing to us; and who would
willingly lead a new Life, if the Rigour of the Virtuous did not for
ever expel us from coming into the World again. As it now happens, to
the eternal Infamy of the Male Sex, Falshood among you is not
reproachful, but Credulity in Women is infamous.

Give me Leave, Sir, to give you my History. You are to know that I am
a Daughter of a Man of a good Reputation, Tenant to a Man of Quality.
The Heir of this great House took it in his Head to cast a favourable
Eye upon me, and succeeded. I do not pretend to say he promised me
Marriage: I was not a Creature silly enough to be taken by so foolish
a Story: But he ran away with me up to this Town; and introduced me to
a grave Matron, with whom I boarded for a Day or two with great
Gravity, and was not a little pleased with the Change of my Condition,
from that of a Country Life to the finest Company, as I believed, in
the whole World. My humble Servant made me to understand that I should
be always kept in the plentiful Condition I then enjoyed; when after a
very great Fondness towards me, he one Day took his Leave of me for
four or five Days. In the Evening of the same Day my good Landlady
came to me, and observing me very pensive began to comfort me, and
with a Smile told me I must see the World. When I was deaf to all she
could say to divert me, she began to tell me with a very frank Air
that I must be treated as I ought, and not take these squeamish
Humours upon me, for my Friend had left me to the Town; and, as their
Phrase is, she expected I would see Company, or I must be treated like
what I had brought my self to. This put me into a Fit of Crying: And I
immediately, in a true Sense of my Condition, threw myself on the
Floor, deploring my Fate, calling upon all that was good and sacred to
succour me. While I was in all my Agony, I observed a decrepid old
Fellow come into the Room, and looking with a Sense of Pleasure in his
Face at all my Vehemence and Transport. In a Pause of my Distress I
heard him say to the shameless old Woman who stood by me, She is
certainly a new Face, or else she acts it rarely. With that the
Gentlewoman, who was making her Market of me, in all the Turn of my
Person, the Heaves of my Passion, and the suitable Changes of my
Posture, took Occasion to commend my Neck, my Shape, my Eyes, my
Limbs. All this was accompanied with such Speeches as you may have
heard Horse-coursers make in the Sale of Nags, when they are warranted
for their Soundness. You understand by this Time that I was left in a
Brothel, and exposed to the next Bidder that could purchase me of my
Patroness. This is so much the Work of Hell; the Pleasure in the
Possession of us Wenches, abates in proportion to the Degrees we go
beyond the Bounds of Innocence; and no Man is gratified, if there is
nothing left for him to debauch. Well, Sir, my first Man, when I came
upon the Town, was Sir _Jeoffry Foible,_ who was extremely lavish
to me of his Money, and took such a Fancy to me that he would have
carried me off, if my Patroness would have taken any reasonable Terms
for me: But as he was old, his Covetousness was his strongest Passion,
and poor I was soon left exposed to be the common Refuse of all the
Rakes and Debauchees in Town. I cannot tell whether you will do me
Justice or no, till I see whether you print this or not; otherwise, as
I now live with Sal, I could give you a very just Account of who and
who is together in this Town. You perhaps won't believe it; but I know
of one who pretends to be a very good Protestant who lies with a
Roman-Catholick: But more of this hereafter, as you please me. There
do come to our House the greatest Politicians of the Age; and Sal is
more shrewd than any Body thinks: No Body can believe that such wise
Men could go to Bawdy-houses out of idle Purposes; I have heard them
often talk of Augustus Cæsar, who had Intrigues with the Wives of
Senators, not out of Wantonness but Stratagem.

it is a thousand Pities you should be so severely virtuous as I fear
you are; otherwise, after a Visit or two, you would soon understand
that we Women of the Town are not such useless Correspondents as you
may imagine: You have undoubtedly heard that it was a Courtesan who
discovered Cataline's Conspiracy. If you print this I'll tell you
more; and am in the mean time, SIR.

Your most humble Servant, REBECCA NETTLETOP.

Mr. SPECTATOR,

'I am an idle young Woman that would work for my Livelihood, but that
I am kept in such a Manner as I cannot stir out. My Tyrant is an old
jealous Fellow, who allows me nothing to appear in. I have but one
Shooe and one Slipper; no Head-dress, and no upper Petticoat. As you
set up for a Reformer, I desire you would take me out of this wicked
Way, and keep me your self.

EVE AFTERDAY.

Mr. SPECTATOR,

'I am to complain to you of a Set of impertinent Coxcombs, who visit
the Apartments of us Women of the Town, only, as they call it, to see
the World. I must confess to you, this to Men of Delicacy might have
an Effect to cure them; but as they are stupid, noisy and drunken
Fellows, it tends only to make Vice in themselves, as they think,
pleasant and humourous, and at the same Time nauseous in us. I shall,
Sir, hereafter from Time to Time give you the Names of these Wretches
who pretend to enter our Houses meerly as Spectators. These Men think
it Wit to use us ill: Pray tell them, however worthy we are of such
Treatment, it is unworthy them to be guilty of it towards us. Pray,
Sir, take Notice of this, and pity the Oppressed: I wish we could add
to it, the Innocent.

T.

* * * * *

No. 191. Tuesday, October 9, 1711. Addison.

[Greek: ... oulon oneiron.]

Some ludicrous Schoolmen have put the Case, that if an Ass were placed between two Bundles of Hay, which affected his Senses equally on each Side, and tempted him in the very same Degree, whether it would be possible for him to Eat of either. They generally determine this Question to the Disadvantage of the Ass, who they say would starve in the Midst of Plenty, as not having a single Grain of Freewill to determine him more to the one than to the other. The Bundle of Hay on either Side striking his Sight and Smell in the same Proportion, would keep him in a perpetual Suspence, like the two Magnets which, Travellers have told us, are placed one of them in the Roof, and the other in the Floor of Mahomet's Burying-place at Mecca, and by that means, say they, pull the Impostor's Iron Coffin with such an equal Attraction, that it hangs in the Air between both of them. As for the Ass's Behaviour in such nice Circumstances, whether he would Starve sooner than violate his Neutrality to the two Bundles of Hay, I shall not presume to determine; but only take Notice of the Conduct of our own Species in the same Perplexity. When a Man has a mind to venture his Money in a Lottery, every Figure of it appears equally alluring, and as likely to succeed as any of its Fellows. They all of them have the same Pretensions to good Luck, stand upon the same foot of Competition, and no manner of Reason can be given why a Man should prefer one to the other before the Lottery is drawn. In this Case therefore Caprice very often acts in the Place of Reason, and forms to it self some Groundless Imaginary Motive, where real and substantial ones are wanting. I know a well-meaning Man that is very well pleased to risque his good Fortune upon the Number 1711, because it is the Year of our Lord. I am acquainted with a Tacker that would give a good deal for the Number 134. [1] On the contrary I have been told of a certain Zealous Dissenter, who being a great Enemy to Popery, and believing that bad Men are the most fortunate in this World, will lay two to one on the Number [666 [2]] against any other Number, because, says he, it is the Number of the Beast. Several would prefer the Number 12000 before any other, as it is the Number of the Pounds in the great Prize. In short, some are pleased to find their own Age in their Number; some that they have got a number which makes a pretty Appearance in the Cyphers, and others, because it is the same Number that succeeded in the last Lottery. Each of these, upon no other Grounds, thinks he stands fairest for the great Lot, and that he is possessed of what may not be improperly called the Golden Number.

These Principles of Election are the Pastimes and Extravagancies of Human Reason, which is of so busie a Nature, that it will be exerting it self in the meanest Trifles and working even when it wants Materials. The wisest of Men are sometimes acted by such unaccountable Motives, as the Life of the Fool and the Superstitious is guided by nothing else.

I am surprized that none of the Fortune-tellers, or, as the French call them, the Diseurs de bonne Avanture, who Publish their Bills in every Quarter of the Town, have not turned our Lotteries to their Advantage; did any of them set up for a Caster of fortunate Figures, what might he not get by his pretended Discoveries and Predictions?

I remember among the Advertisements in the Post-Boy of September the 27th, I was surprized to see the following one:

This is to give notice, That Ten Shillings over and above the Market-Price, will be given for the Ticket in the £1 500 000 Lottery, No. 132, by Nath. Cliff at the Bible and Three Crowns in Cheapside.

This Advertisement has given great Matter of Speculation to Coffee-house Theorists. Mr. Cliff's Principles and Conversation have been canvassed upon this Occasion, and various Conjectures made why he should thus set his Heart upon Number 132. I have examined all the Powers in those Numbers, broken them into Fractions, extracted the Square and Cube Root, divided and multiplied them all Ways, but could not arrive at the Secret till about three Days ago, when I received the following Letter from an unknown Hand, by which I find that Mr. Nathaniel Cliff is only the Agent, and not the Principal, in this Advertisement.

Mr. SPECTATOR,

'I am the Person that lately advertised I would give ten Shillings
more than the current Price for the Ticket No. 132 in the Lottery now
drawing; which is a Secret I have communicated to some Friends, who
rally me incessantly upon that Account. You must know I have but one
Ticket, for which Reason, and a certain Dream I have lately had more
than once, I was resolved it should be the Number I most approved. I
am so positive I have pitched upon the great Lot, that I could almost
lay all I am worth of it. My Visions are so frequent and strong upon
this Occasion, that I have not only possessed the Lot, but disposed of
the Money which in all probability it will sell for. This Morning, in
particular, I set up an Equipage which I look upon to be the gayest in
the Town. The Liveries are very Rich, but not Gaudy. I should be very
glad to see a Speculation or two upon lottery Subjects, in which you
would oblige all People concerned, and in particular

'Your most humble Servant,

'George Gossling.

'P.S. Dear SPEC, if I get the 12 000 Pound, I'll make thee a handsome
Present.'

After having wished my Correspondent good Luck, and thanked him for his intended Kindness, I shall for this time dismiss the Subject of the Lottery, and only observe that the greatest Part of Mankind are in some degree guilty of my Friend Gossling's Extravagance. We are apt to rely upon future Prospects, and become really expensive while we are only rich in Possibility. We live up to our Expectations, not to our Possessions, and make a Figure proportionable to what we may be, not what we are. We out-run our present Income, as not doubting to disburse our selves out of the Profits of some future Place, Project, or Reversion, that we have in view. It is through this Temper of Mind, which is so common among us, that we see Tradesmen break, who have met with no Misfortunes in their Business; and Men of Estates reduced to Poverty, who have never suffered from Losses or Repairs, Tenants, Taxes, or Law-suits. In short, it is this foolish sanguine Temper, this depending upon Contingent Futurities, that occasions Romantick Generosity, Chymerical Grandeur, Senseless Ostentation, and generally ends in Beggary and Ruin. The Man, who will live above his present Circumstances, is in great Danger of living in a little time much beneath them, or, as the Italian Proverb runs, The Man who lives by Hope will die by Hunger.

It should be an indispensable Rule in Life, to contract our Desires to our present Condition, and whatever may be our Expectations, to live within the compass of what we actually possess. It will be Time enough to enjoy an Estate when it comes into our Hands; but if we anticipate our good Fortune, we shall lose the Pleasure of it when it arrives, and may possibly never possess what we have so foolishly counted upon.

L.

[Footnote 1: The number of the minority who were in 1704 for Tacking a Bill against Occasional Conformity to a Money Bill.]

[Footnote 2: "1666", and in first reprint.]

* * * * *

No. 192. Wednesday, October 10, 1711. Steele.

'... Uni ore omnes omnia
Bona dicere, et Laudare fortunas meas,
Qui Gnatum haberem tali ingenio proeditum.'

Tre.

I Stood the other Day, and beheld a Father sitting in the Middle of a Room with a large Family of Children about him; and methought I could observe in his Countenance different Motions of Delight, as he turned his Eye towards the one and the other of them. The Man is a Person moderate in his Designs for their Preferment and Welfare; and as he has an easy Fortune, he is not sollicitous to make a great one. His eldest Son is a Child of a very towardly Disposition, and as much as the Father loves him, I dare say he will never be a Knave to improve his Fortune. I do not know any Man who has a juster Relish of Life than the Person I am speaking of, or keeps a better Guard against the Terrors of Want or the Hopes of Gain. It is usual in a Crowd of Children, for the Parent to name out of his own Flock all the great Officers of the Kingdom. There is something so very surprizing in the Parts of a Child of a Man's own, that there is nothing too great to be expected from his Endowments. I know a good Woman who has but three Sons, and there is, she says, nothing she expects with more Certainty, than that she shall see one of them a Bishop, the other a Judge, and the third a Court Physician. The Humour is, that any thing which can happen to any Man's Child, is expected by every Man for his own. But my Friend whom I was going to speak of, does not flatter himself with such vain Expectations, but has his Eye more upon the Virtue and Disposition of his Children, than their Advancement or Wealth. Good Habits are what will certainly improve a Man's Fortune and Reputation; but on the other side, Affluence of Fortune will not as probably produce good Affections of the Mind.

It is very natural for a Man of a kind Disposition to amuse himself with the Promises his Imagination makes to him of the future Condition of his Children, and to represent to himself the Figure they shall bear in the World after he has left it. When his Prospects of this Kind are agreeable, his Fondness gives as it were a longer Date to his own Life; and the Survivorship of a worthy Man [in [1]] his Son is a Pleasure scarce inferior to the Hopes of the Continuance of his own Life. That Man is happy who can believe of his Son, that he will escape the Follies and Indiscretions of which he himself was guilty, and pursue and improve every thing that was valuable in him. The Continuance of his Virtue is much more to be regarded than that of his Life; but it is the most lamentable of all Reflections, to think that the Heir of a Man's Fortune is such a one as will be a Stranger to his Friends, alienated from the same Interests, and a Promoter of every thing which he himself disapproved. An Estate in Possession of such a Successor to a good Man, is worse than laid waste; and the Family of which he is the Head, is in a more deplorable Condition than that of being extinct.

When I visit the agreeable Seat of my honoured Friend Ruricola, and walk from Room to Room revolving many pleasing Occurrences, and the Expressions of many just Sentiments I have heard him utter, and see the Booby his Heir in Pain while he is doing the Honours of his House to the Friend of his Father, the Heaviness it gives one is not to be expressed. Want of Genius is not to be imputed to any Man, but Want of Humanity is a Man's own Fault. The Son of Ruricola, (whose Life was one continued Series of worthy Actions and Gentleman-like Inclinations) is the Companion of drunken Clowns, and knows no Sense of Praise but in the Flattery he receives from his own Servants; his Pleasures are mean and inordinate, his Language base and filthy, [his [2]] Behaviour rough and absurd. Is this Creature to be accounted the Successor of a Man of Virtue, Wit and Breeding? At the same time that I have this melancholy Prospect at the House where I miss my old Friend, I can go to a Gentleman's not far off it, where he has a Daughter who is the Picture both of his Body and Mind, but both improved with the Beauty and Modesty peculiar to her Sex. It is she who supplies the Loss of her Father to the World; she, without his Name or Fortune, is a truer Memorial of him, than her Brother who succeeds him in both. Such an Offspring as the eldest Son of my Friend, perpetuates his Father in the same manner as the Appearance of his Ghost would: It is indeed Ruricola, but it is Ruricola grown frightful.

I know not to what to attribute the brutal Turn which this young Man has taken, except it may be to a certain Severity and Distance which his Father used towards him, and might, perhaps, have occasioned a Dislike to those Modes of Life which were not made amiable to him by Freedom and Affability.

We may promise our selves that no such Excrescence will appear in the Family of the Cornelii, where the Father lives with his Sons like their eldest Brother, and the Sons converse with him as if they did it for no other Reason but that he is the wisest Man of their Acquaintance. As the Cornelii are eminent Traders, their good Correspondence with each other is useful to all that know them, as well as to themselves: And their Friendship, Good-will and kind Offices, are disposed of jointly as well as their Fortune, so that no one ever obliged one of them, who had not the Obligation multiplied in Returns from them all.

It is the most beautiful Object the Eyes of Man can behold, to see a Man of Worth and his Son live in an entire unreserved Correspondence. The mutual Kindness and Affection between them give an inexpressible Satisfaction to all who know them. It is a sublime Pleasure which encreases by the Participation. It is as sacred as Friendship, as pleasurable as Love, and as joyful as Religion. This State of Mind does not only dissipate Sorrow, which would be extream without it, but enlarges Pleasures which would otherwise be contemptible. The most indifferent thing has its Force and Beauty when it is spoke by a kind Father, and an insignificant Trifle has it's Weight when offered by a dutiful Child. I know not how to express it, but I think I may call it a transplanted Self-love. All the Enjoyments and Sufferings which a Man meets with are regarded only as they concern him in the Relation he has to another. A Man's very Honour receives a new Value to him, when he thinks that, when he is in his Grave, it will be had in Remembrance that such an Action was done by such a one's Father. Such Considerations sweeten the old Man's Evening, and his Soliloquy delights him when he can say to himself, No Man can tell my Child his Father was either unmerciful or unjust: My Son shall meet many a Man who shall say to him, I was obliged to thy Father, and be my Child a Friend to his Child for ever.

It is not in the Power of all Men to leave illustrious Names or great Fortunes to their Posterity, but they can very much conduce to their having Industry, Probity, Valour and Justice: It is in every Man's Power to leave his Son the Honour of descending from a virtuous Man, and add the Blessings of Heaven to whatever he leaves him. I shall end this Rhapsody with a Letter to an excellent young Man of my Acquaintance, who has lately lost a worthy Father.

Dear Sir,

'I know no Part of Life more impertinent than the Office of
administring Consolation: I will not enter into it, for I cannot but
applaud your Grief. The virtuous Principles you had from that
excellent Man whom you have lost, have wrought in you as they ought,
to make a Youth of Three and Twenty incapable of Comfort upon coming
into Possession of a great Fortune. I doubt not but that you will
honour his Memory by a modest Enjoyment of his Estate; and scorn to
triumph over his Grave, by employing in Riot, Excess, and Debauchery,
what he purchased with so much Industry, Prudence, and Wisdom. This is
the true Way to shew the Sense you have of your Loss, and to take away
the Distress of others upon the Occasion. You cannot recal your Father
by your Grief, but you may revive him to his Friends by your Conduct.'

T.

[Footnote 1: "to", and in the first reprint.]

[Footnote 2: and his]

* * * * *

No. 193. Thursday, October 11, 1711. Steele.

'... Ingentem foribus domus alta superbis
Mane salutantum totis vomit oedibus undam.'

Virg.

When we look round us, and behold the strange Variety of Faces and Persons which fill the Streets with Business and Hurry, it is no unpleasant Amusement to make Guesses at their different Pursuits, and judge by their Countenances what it is that so anxiously engages their present Attention. Of all this busie Crowd, there are none who would give a Man inclined to such Enquiries better Diversion for his Thoughts, than those whom we call good Courtiers, and such as are assiduous at the Levées of Great Men. These Worthies are got into an Habit of being servile with an Air, and enjoy a certain Vanity in being known for understanding how the World passes. In the Pleasure of this they can rise early, go abroad sleek and well-dressed, with no other Hope or Purpose, but to make a Bow to a Man in Court-Favour, and be thought, by some insignificant Smile of his, not a little engaged in his Interests and Fortunes. It is wondrous, that a Man can get over the natural Existence and Possession of his own Mind so far, as to take Delight either in paying or receiving such cold and repeated Civilities. But what maintains the Humour is, that outward Show is what most Men pursue, rather than real Happiness. Thus both the Idol and Idolater equally impose upon themselves in pleasing their Imaginations this way. But as there are very many of her Majesty's good Subjects, who are extreamly uneasie at their own Seats in the Country, where all from the Skies to the Centre of the Earth is their own, and have a mighty longing to shine in Courts, or be Partners in the Power of the World; I say, for the Benefit of these, and others who hanker after being in the Whisper with great Men, and vexing their Neighbours with the Changes they would be capable of making in the Appearance at a Country Sessions, it would not methinks be amiss to give an Account of that Market for Preferment, a great Man's Levée.

For ought I know, this Commerce between the Mighty and their Slaves, very justly represented, might do so much good as to incline the Great to regard Business rather than Ostentation; and make the Little know the Use of their Time too well, to spend it in vain Applications and Addresses.

The famous Doctor in _Moorfields_, who gained so much Reputation for his Horary Predictions, is said to have had in his Parlour different Ropes to little Bells which hung in the Room above Stairs, where the Doctor thought fit to be oraculous. If a Girl had been deceived by her Lover, one Bell was pulled; and if a Peasant had lost a Cow, the [Servant [1]] rung another. This Method was kept in respect to all other Passions and Concerns, and [the skillful Waiter below [2]] sifted the Enquirer, and gave the Doctor Notice accordingly. The Levée of a great Man is laid after the same manner, and twenty Whispers, false Alarms, and private Intimations, pass backward and forward from the Porter, the Valet, and the Patron himself, before the gaping Crew who are to pay their Court are gathered together: When the Scene is ready, the Doors fly open and discover his Lordship.

There are several Ways of making this first Appearance: you may be either half dressed, and washing your self, which is indeed the most stately; but this Way of Opening is peculiar to Military Men, in whom there is something graceful in exposing themselves naked; but the Politicians, or Civil Officers, have usually affected to be more reserved, and preserve a certain Chastity of Deportment. Whether it be Hieroglyphical or not, this Difference in the Military and Civil List, [I will not say;] but [have [3]] ever understood the Fact to be, that the close Minister is buttoned up, and the brave Officer open-breasted on these Occasions.

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The Spectator, Volumes 1, 2 and 3Chapter XXXV: Introduction (35)

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