Chapter D: DOUGH. Where is the house I go to, before or behind?

I know not where nor when, nor how I shall it find.
If I had ten men's bodies and legs, and strength,
This trotting that I have must needs lame me at length.
And now that my master is new-set on wooing,
I trust there shall none of us find lack of doing:
Two pair of shoes a day will now be too little
To serve me, I must trot to and fro so mickle.
"Go bear me this token;" "carry me this letter;"
Now this is the best way; now that way is better.
"Up before day, sirs, I charge you, an hour or twain;
Trudge, do me this message, and bring word quick again."
If one miss but a minute, then, "His arms and wounds,
I would not have slacked for ten thousand pounds!
Nay see, I beseech you, if my most trusty page
Go not now about to hinder my marriage."
So fervent hot wooing, and so far from wiving,
I trow, never was any creature living;
With every woman is he in some love's-pang;
Then up to our lute at midnight, _twangledom twang_.
Then twang with our sonnets, and twang with our dumps,[89]
And heigho from our heart, as heavy as lead-lumps.
Then to our recorder[90] with _toodleloodle poop_,
As the howlet out of an ivy bush should hoop.
Anon to our gittern,[91] _thrumpledum thrumpledum thrum,
Thrumpledum, thrumpledum, thrumpledum, thrumpledum, thrum_.
Of songs and ballads also he is a maker,
And that can he as finely do as Jack Raker;[92]
Yea, and extempore will he ditties compose;
Foolish Marsias ne'er made the like, I suppose;
Yet must we sing them, as good stuff, I undertake,
As for such a pen-man is well fitting to make.
"Ah, for these long nights! heigho! when will it be day?
I fear, ere I come, she will be wooed away."
Then, when answer is made, that it may not be,
"O death, why comest thou not?" by and by saith he.
But then from his heart to put away sorrow,
He is as far in with some new love next morrow.
But, in the mean season, we trudge and we trot:
From dayspring to midnight I sit not nor rest not.
And now am I sent to dame Christian Custance;
But I fear it will end with a mock for pastance.[93]
I bring her a ring with a token in a clout,
And by all guess this same is her house out of doubt.
I know it now perfect, I am in my right way;
And lo! yond the old nurse that was with us last day.

ACTUS II., SCÆNA 2.

MADGE MUMBLECRUST, DOBINET DOUGHTY.

M. MUMBL. I was ne'er so shoke[94] up afore, since I was born:
That our mistress could not have had chid, I would have sworn.
And I pray God I die, if I meant any harm;
But for my lifetime this shall be to me a charm.

D. DOUGH. God you save and see, nurse! and how is it with you?

M. MUMBL. Marry, a great deal the worse it is for such as thou.

D. DOUGH. For me? Why so?

M. MUMBL. Why, were not thou one of them, say,
That sang and played here with the gentleman last day?

D. DOUGH. Yes, and he would know, if you have for him spoken,
And prays you to deliver this ring and token.

M. MUMBL. Now, by the token that God tokened, brother,
I will deliver no token, one nor other.
I have once been so shent for your master's pleasure,
As I will not be again for all his treasure.

D. DOUGH. He will thank you, woman.

M. MUMBL. I will none of his thank. [_Exit M. Mumbl._[95]

D. DOUGH. I ween I am a prophet; this gear will prove blank.
But what, should I home again without answer go?
It were better go to Rome on my head than so[96].
I will tarry here this month, but some of the house
Shall take it of me, and then I care not a louse.
But yonder cometh forth a wench or a lad:
If he have not one Lombard's touch[97], my luck is bad.

ACTUS II., SCÆNA 3.

TRUEPENNY, D. DOUGH., TIBET T., ANNOT AL.

TRUEPENNY. I am clean lost for lack of merry company;
We 'gree not half well within, our wenches and I:
They will command like mistresses, they will forbid;
If they be not served, Truepenny must be chid.
Let them be as merry now, as ye can desire:
With turning of a hand our mirth lieth in the mire.
I cannot skill of such changeable mettle,
There is nothing with them but, In dock, out nettle.[98]

D. DOUGH. Whether is it better that I speak to him first,
Or he first to me? It is good to cast the worst.
If I begin first, he will smell all my purpose:
Otherwise I shall not need anything to disclose. [_Aside._

TRUEPENNY. What boy have we yonder? I will see what he is.

D. DOUGH. He cometh to me. It is hereabout, i-wis. [_Aside._

TRUEPENNY. Wouldest thou ought, friend, that thou lookest so about?

D. DOUGH. Yea; but whether ye can help me or no, I doubt.
I seek to one Mistress Custance house here dwelling.

TRUEPENNY. It is my mistress ye seek to, by your telling.

D. DOUGH. Is there any of that name here but she?

TRUEPENNY. Not one in all the whole town that I know, pardè.

D. DOUGH. A widow she is, I trow.

TRUEPENNY. And what, and she be?

D. DOUGH. But ensured to an husband?

TRUEPENNY. Yea, so think we.

D. DOUGH. And I dwell with her husband that trusteth to be.

TRUEPENNY. In faith, then must thou needs be welcome to me.
Let us, for acquaintance, shake hands together,
And, whate'er thou be, heartily welcome hither.

TIB. TALK.[99] Well, Truepenny, never but flinging?

AN. ALYFACE. And frisking?

TRUEPENNY. Well, Tibet and Annot, still swinging and whisking?

TIB. TALK. But ye roil abroad.

AN. ALYFACE. In the street everywhere.

TRUEPENNY. Where are ye twain? in chambers, when ye meet me there?
But come hither, fools: I have one now by the hand,
Servant to him that must be our mistress' husband;
Bid him welcome.

AN. ALYFACE. To me truly he is welcome.

TIB. TALK. Forsooth and, as I may say, heartily welcome.

D. DOUGH. I thank you, mistress maids.

AN. ALYFACE. I hope we shall better know.

TIB. TALK. And when will our new master come?