Chapter M: MERRY. I cannot blame him, sir, though your blows would him grieve;

For he knoweth present death to ensue of all ye give.

R. ROISTER. Well, this man for once hath purchased thy pardon.

SCRIVENER. And what say ye to me? or else I will be gone.

R. Roister. I say, the letter thou madest me was not good.

SCRIVENER. Then did ye wrong copy it, of likelihood.

R. ROISTER. Yes, out of thy copy, word for word, I it wrote.

SCRIVENER. Then was it as you prayed to have it, I wot:
But in reading and pointing there was made some fault.

R. ROISTER. I wot not; but it made all my matter to halt.

SCRIVENER. How say you, is this mine original, or no?

R. ROISTER. The self same that I wrote out of, so mot I go.

SCRIVENER. Look you on your own fist, and I will look on this.
And let this man be judge, whether I read amiss.

_To mine own dear coney, bird, sweetheart, and pigsny,
Good Mistress Custance, present these by and by._

How now? doth not this superscription agree?

R. ROISTER. Read that is within, and there ye shall the fault see.

SCRIVENER.

"Sweet Mistress, whereas I love you; nothing at all
Regarding your riches and substance; chief of all
For your personage, beauty, demeanour and wit,
I commend me unto you; never a whit
Sorry to hear report of your good welfare;
For (as I hear say) such your conditions are,
That ye be worthy favour; of no living man
To be abhorred; of every honest man
To be taken for a woman inclined to vice
Nothing at all; to virtue giving her due price.
Wherefore, concerning marriage, ye are thought
Such a fine paragon as ne'er honest man bought.
And now, by these presents, I do you advertise
That I am minded to marry you; in no wise
For your goods and substance; I can be content
To take you as ye are. If ye will be my wife,
Ye shall be assured for the time of my life
I will keep ye right well: from good raiment and fare
Ye shall not be kept: but in sorrow and care
Ye shall in no wise live; at your own liberty
Do and say what ye lust; ye shall never please me,
But when ye are merry; I will be all sad,
When ye are sorry; I will be very glad,
When ye seek your heart's ease; I will be unkind
At no time; in me shall ye much gentleness find.
But all things contrary to your will and mind
Shall be done otherwise. I will not be behind
To speak; and as for all they that would do you wrong
(I will so help and maintain ye) shall not live long,
Nor any foolish dolt shall cumber you; but I--
I whoe'er say nay, will stick by you till I die.
Thus, good Mistress Custance, the Lord you save and keep!
From me, Roister Doister, whether I wake or sleep,
Who favoureth you no less (ye may be bold)
Than this letter purporteth, which ye have unfold."

Now, sir, what default can ye find in this letter?

R. ROISTER. Of truth, in my mind, there cannot be a better.

SCRIVENER. Then was the fault in reading, and not in writing,
No, nor, I dare say, in the form of inditing.
But who read this letter, that it sounded so nought?

M. MERRY. I read it indeed.

SCRIVENER. Ye read it not as ye ought.

R. ROISTER. Why, thou wretched villain, was all this same fault
in thee?

M. MERRY. I knock your costard,[136] if ye offer to strike me.

R ROISTER. Strikest thou indeed, and I offer but in jest?

M. MERRY. Yea, and rap ye again, except ye can sit in rest.
And I will no longer tarry here, me believe.

R. ROISTER. What, wilt thou be angry, and I do thee forgive?
Fare thou well, scribbler; I cry thee mercy indeed.

SCRIVENER. Fare ye well, bibbler, and worthily may ye speed.

R. ROISTER. If it were another than thou, it were a knave.

M. MERRY. Ye are another yourself, sir, the Lord us both save;
Albeit in this matter I must your pardon crave.
Alas! would ye wish in me the wit that ye have?
But, as for my fault, I can quickly amend:
I will show Custance it was I that did offend.

R. ROISTER. By so doing her anger may be reformed.

M. MERRY. But if by no entreaty she will be turned,
Then set light by her, and be as testy as she,
And do your force upon her with extremity.

R. ROISTER. Come on therefore; let us go home in sadness.