Chapter XXI: Act V: ENTER Strobilus

_Strob._

Di immortales quibus et quantis me donatis gaudiis.
quadrilibrem aulam auro onustam habeo. quis me est ditior?
quis me Athenis nunc magis quisquam est
homo cui di sint propitii? 810

Ye immortal gods, what joy, what bliss, ye bless me with!
I have a four pound pot of gold, chock full of gold! Show me
a man that’s richer! Who’s the chap in all Athens now that
Heaven’s kinder to than me?

_Lyc._

Certo enim ego vocem hic loquentis modo mi audire visus sum.

Why, it surely seemed as if I heard some one’s voice just
then. (_catches a glimpse of Strobilus’s face, the latter
wheeling around as he sees Lyconides_)

_Strob._

Hem,
erumne ego aspicio meum?

(_aside_) Hm! Is that master there?

_Lyc._

Videon ego hunc servom meum?

(_aside_) My servant, is it?

_Strob._

Ipsus est.

(_aside, after a quick glance_) It’s the governor.

_Lyc._

Haud alius est.

(_aside_) Himself.

_Strob._

Congrediar.

(_aside_) Here goes. (_moves toward Lyconides_)

_Lyc._

Contollam gradum.
credo ego illum, ut iussi, eampse anum adiisse, huius nutricem
virginis.

(_aside_) I’ll go meet him. No doubt he’s followed
instructions and been to see that old woman I mentioned, my
girl’s nurse.

_Strob._

Quin ego illi me invenisse dico hanc praedam[17]?
igitur orabo ut manu me emittat. ibo atque eloquar.
repperi--

(_aside_) Why not tell him I’ve found this prize? Then I’ll
beg him to set me free. I’ll up and let him have the whole
story. (_to Lyconides, as they meet_) I’ve found--

_Lyc._

Quid repperisti?

(_scoffingly_) Found what?

_Strob._

Non quod pueri clamitant
in faba se repperisse.

No such trifle as youngsters hurrah over finding in a
bean.[E]

[Footnote E: It is uncertain what they did find.]

_Lyc._

Iamne autem, ut soles? deludis.

At your old tricks? You’re chaffing. (_pretends to be about
to leave_)

_Strob._

Ere, mane, eloquar iam, ausculta.

Hold on, sir: I’ll tell you all about it this minute.
Listen.

_Lyc._

Age ergo loquere.

Well, well, then, tell away.

_Strob._

Repperi hodie, 820
ere, divitias nimias.

Sir, to-day I’ve found--boundless riches!

_Lyc._

Ubinam?

(_interested_) You have? Where?

_Strob._

Quadrilibrem, inquam, aulam auri plenam.

A four pound pot, sir, I tell you, a four pound pot just
full of gold!

_Lyc._

Quod ego facinus audio ex te? Euclioni hic seni subripuit.
ubi id est aurum?

What’s all this you’ve done? He’s the man that robbed old
Euclio. Where is this gold?

_Strob._

In arca apud me. nunc volo me emitti manu.

In a box at home. Now I want you to set me free.

_Lyc._

Egone te emittam manu,
scelerum cumulatissime?

(_angrily_) I set you free, you, you great lump of iniquity?

_Strob._

Abi, ere, scio quam rem geras.
lepide hercle animum tuom temptavi. iam ut eriperes apparabas:
quid faceres, si repperissem?

(_crestfallen, then laughing heartily_) Go along with you,
sir! I know what you’re after. Gad! that was clever of me,
testing you in that way! And you were just getting ready to
drop on it! Now what would you be doing, if I really had
found it?

_Lyc._

Non potes probasse nugas.
i, redde aurum.

No, no, that won’t pass. Off with you: hand over the gold.

_Strob._

Reddam ego aurum?

Hand over the gold? I?

_Lyc._

Redde, inquam, ut huic reddatur.

Yes, hand it over, so that it may be handed over to Euclio.

_Strob._

Unde?

Gold? Where from?

_Lyc._

Quod modo fassu’s esse in arca.

The gold you just admitted was in the box.

_Strob._

Soleo hercle ego garrire nugas. 830

_Lyc._

[18]

_Strob._

Ita loquor.

That’s what I say.

_Lyc._

At scin quomodo?[19]

(_seizing him_) See here, do you know what you’ll get?

_Strob._

Vel hercle enica,
numquam hinc feres a me.

By heaven, sir, you can even kill me, but you won’t have it
from me, never--

_The rest of the play is lost, save for a few fragments.
Apparently Lyconides, on returning the pot of gold, was
given permission to marry Euclio’s daughter; and Euclio,
having a change of heart, or influenced by his Household
God, gave it to the young couple as a wedding present._

FRAGMENTA

FRAGMENTS

pro illis corcotis, strophiis, sumptu uxorio I

Instead of those fine saffron dresses, girdles, trousseau
outlay

ut admemordit hominem II

How he fleeced the man

_Eucl._

ego ecfodiebam in die denos scrobes. III

I used to be digging ten ditches a day.

_Eucl._

nec noctu nec diu IV
quietus umquam servabam eam: nunc dormiam.

I never had a bit of rest day or night watching it: now I
shall sleep.

qui mi holera cruda ponunt, hallec adduint. V

People that serve me raw vegetables ought to add some sauce.

* * * * *

[Footnote 1: Leo brackets following v., 266:
_credo ego illum iam inaudivisse mi esse thensaurum domi._]

[Footnote 2: 299, 300 inverted, Gulielmius:
Leo, following Havet, assumes lacuna after 298.]

[Footnote 3: Leo notes lacuna here: _etiam tu_ Leo.]

[Footnote 4: Corrupt (Leo):
_stultu’s et sine gratiast ibi_ Gulielmius.]

[Footnote 5: Leo brackets following v., 393:
_nimirum occidor, nisi ego intro huc propere propero currere._]

[Footnote 6: _Attatae_ Lindsay: _optate_ MSS:
_cives_ V^2: _vires_ B: _vives_ D V^1.]

[Footnote 7: Corrupt (Leo): Goetz deletes _coepit_.]

[Footnote 8: Corrupt (Leo): _manupretium_ Leo for _manubrium_.]

[Footnote 9: Leo brackets following v., 472:
_quid opust verbis? acta est pugna in gallo gallinacio._]

[Footnote 10: Corrupt (Leo): _myrobaptarii_ Leo.]

[Footnote 11: Leo brackets following v., 515:
_petunt fullones, sorcinatores petunt._]

[Footnote 12: _curiosam_ MSS: _curionem_ Gulielmius,
followed by Leo and others.]

[Footnote 13: Leo brackets following v., 592-598:
_nam qui amanti ero servitutem servit, quasi ego servio,_
_si erum videt superare amorem, hoc servi est officium reor,_
_retinere ad salutem, non enim quo incumbat eo impellere._
_quasi pueri qui nare discunt scirpea induitur ratis, _ (595)
_qui laborent minus, facilius ut nent et moveant manus,_
_eodem modo servom ratem esse amanti ero aequom censeo,_
_ut eum toleret, ne pessum abeat tamquam--_]

[For when a slave’s slaving it like I am for a master who is
in love, if he sees his master’s heart is running away with
him, it’s the slave’s duty, in my opinion, to hold him in
and save him and not hurry him on the way he’s headed. It’s
like boys learning to swim: they lie on a rush float so as
not to have to work so hard and so as to swim more easily
and use their arms. In the same way I hold that a slave
ought to be his master’s float, if his master’s in love, so
as to support him and not let him go to the bottom like--]

[Footnote 14: Corrupt (Leo): _eri ille_ Wagner.]

[Footnote 15: Corrupt (Leo): _revideam_ Bothe.]

[Footnote 16: Corrupt (Leo): _res_ excised by Hare.]

[Footnote 17: _praedam atque eloquar_ MSS:
Leo brackets _atque eloquar_.]

[Footnote 18: Leo notes lacuna here.
_Non te habere dicis aurum_ Leo.]

[Footnote 19: Leo notes lacuna here.
_Verberibus caedere donec reddideris_ Leo.]

* * * * *

[Transcriber’s Corrections: _Aulularia_ (_The Pot of Gold)_

Argument II
a rascally servant of the girl’s assailant
text reads _the girls’ assailant_ ]

II. 1. l. 141
nec tibi advorsari certum est
text reads _ned tibi_

II. 3. l. 270
_Eucl._ Vascula intus...
_Eucl._ Hurry up with the dishes...
speaker not named (continues from previous scene)

III. 6. l. 537
_Eucl._ Nimium lubenter...
_Eucl._ Gratified, highly gratified...
Latin scene break adjusted to agree with English ]

* * * * *
* * * *
* * * * *

BACCHIDES

* * * * *

PERSONAE

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

PISTOCLERVS ADVLESCENS BACCHIS - SOROR MERETRIX BACCHIS - SOROR MERETRIX LYDVS PAEDAGOGVS CHRYSALVS SERVVS NICOBVLVS SENEX MNESILOCHVS ADVLESCENS PHILOXENVS SENEX PARASITVS PVER ARTAMO LORARIVS CLEOMACHVS MILES

PISTOCLERUS, _son of Philoxenus._
BACCHIS OF ATHENS, _courtesan._
BACCHIS OF SAMOS, _her sister, courtesan._
LYDUS, _slave of Philoxenus and tutor of Pistoclerus._
CHRYSALUS, _slave of Nicobulus and Mnesilochus._
NICOBULUS, _an old gentleman of Athens._
MNESILOCHUS, _his son._
PHILOXENUS, _an old gentleman of Athens._
A PARASITE, _a retainer of the Captain’s._
A PAGE _in the service of the Captain._
ARTAMO, _Nicobulus’s slave overseer._
CLEOMACHUS, _a Captain._

_Scene:--Athens. A street with the houses of Bacchis and
Nicobulus side by side._

_The first part of the play is lost, save for a few
fragments, together with the last part of THE POT OF GOLD:
Leo’s summary of it follows:_

_Pistoclerus has received a letter from his friend
Mnesilochus at Ephesus asking for help in his love affair.
He has been captivated by a girl there named Bacchis, who
has been hired for a year by a certain Captain Cleomachus
and taken by him to Athens. Mnesilochus wishes his friend
to find Bacchis and obtain her release from the Captain.
A servant of Bacchis of Athens has gone down to the harbour
and comes back to her mistress with the report that her
sister Bacchis has arrived. In charge of a slave of the
Captain’s this sister appears. The sisters meet with
Pistoclerus, who is in search of his friend’s sweetheart,
and determine to make him useful._

FRAGMENTA

FRAGMENTS

quibus ingenium in animo utibilest,
modicum et sine vernilitate I (IV G)

Those with a mental make-up of the right sort, modest and
civil.

vincla, virgae, molae: saevitudo mala fit peior II (V)

Shackles, whips, work in the mill: frightful cruelty gets to
be more frightful.

converrite[1] scopis, agite strenue III (VI)

Sweep (it) up with your brooms: come, be lively.

ecquis evocat IV (VII)
cum nassiterna et cum aqua istum impurissimum?

Some one call out that vile wretch with a big pail and some
water.

sicut lacte lactis similest V (VIII)

As much alike as two drops of milk are.

_Bacch._
illa mi cognominis fuit VI (III)

She had the same name as myself

latro suam qui auro vitam venditat VII (IX)

A mercenary who sells his life for gold.

scio spiritum eius maiorem esse multo VIII (X)
quam folles taurini habent, cum liquescunt
petrae, ferrum ubi fit.

I’m sure his breathing’s much louder than the puffs from a
bull’s-hide bellows when they’re melting rocks at the iron-works.

Cuiatis tibi visust? IX (XI)
Praenestinum opino esse, ita erat gloriosus.
neque id haud subditiva gloria oppidum arbitror.

Where does he come from, do you think?
Praeneste, probably, to judge from his boasting.
I don’t think the town’s fame is at all supposititious.

_Puer._
ne a quoquam acciperes alio mercedem annuam, X (XVII)
nisi ab sese, nec cum quiquam limares caput.

_Page_
Not to let you take a yearly fee from anyone else but him,
or rub heads with anyone.

limaces viri XI (XVIII)

Slugs of men.

cor meum, spes mea, XII (XIII)
mel meum, suavitudo, cibus, gaudium.

My heart, my hope, my honey, sweetness, food delight.

sine te amem XIII (XIV)

Do let me love you

Cupidon tecum saevust anne Amor? XIV (XIX)

Is it Cupid, or Love, raging within you?

Vlixem audivi fuisse aerumnosissimum, XV (I)
qui annis viginti errans a patria afuit;
verum hic adulescens multo Vlixem anteit[2]
qui ilico errat intra muros civicos.

They say Ulysses had an awfully hard time of it, away from
home as he was for twenty years, wandering round. But this
young gentleman is a long way ahead of Ulysses with his
wandering round here inside the city walls.

quidquid est nomen sibi XVI (II)

Whatever her (his) name is

_Pistoc._
quae sodalem atque me exercitos habet XVII

A girl that has been keeping my chum and me exercised

nam credo cuivis excantare cor potes. XVIII

For I do believe you can witch the heart out of anyone you
please

sin lenocinium forte collibitum est tibi, XIX
videas mercedis quid tibi est aecum dari,
ne istac aetate me sectere gratiis. 30

But if pandering happens to have caught your fancy, you
should consider what price ought to be paid you, that you
may not run after me at that time of life for nothing.

Arabus. XX

Arabian

_Bacchis_ AND HER SISTER ARE STANDING TOGETHER TALKING.
_Pistoclerus_ APART.

_Bacch._

Quid si hoc potis est ut tu taceas, ego loquar?

How about your keeping a quiet tongue yourself, if possible,
and my doing the talking?

_Soror._

Lepide, licet.

Charming! By all means.

_Bacch._

Ubi me fugiet memoria, ibi tu facito ut subvenias, soror.

In case my memory deserts me, see you come to the rescue,
sister.

_Soror._

Pol magis metuo, ne defuerit mi in monendo oratio.

Goodness me! I’m more afraid of sage suggestions failing
myself.

_Bacch._

Pol ego metuo, lusciniolae ne defuerit cantio.
sequere hac.

(_laughing_) Goodness me! And I’m afraid of song failing
the little nightingale. Come on. (_leads the way toward
Pistoclerus_)

_Pistoc._

Quid agunt duae germanae meretrices cognomines?
quid in consilio consuluistis?

(_aside, nervously_) What are those two up to, those harlot
sisters with the same name? (_aloud, trying to assume the
air of a man of the world_) What have you girls settled on
in that session?

_Bacch._

Bene.

Something nice.

_Pistoc._

Pol haud meretricium est. 40

By Jove! Unusual in the profession!

_Bacch._

Miserius nihil est quam mulier.

(_in apparent dejection_) Oh, there’s nothing more
miserable than a woman!

_Pistoc._

Quid esse dices dignius?

And what ought to be more so, in your opinion?

_Bacch._

Haec ita me orat, sibi qui caveat aliquem ut hominem reperiam,
ut istunc militem--ut, ubi emeritum sibi sit, se revehat domum.
id, amabo te, huic caveas.

My sister here is imploring me to find some one to stand by
her, so that our Captain--so that he may carry her back home
when she’s served her time. Do stand by her in this, there’s
a dear.

_Pistoc._

Quid isti caveam?

Stand by her? How?

_Bacch._

Ut revehatur domum,
ubi ei dediderit operas, ne hanc ille habeat pro ancilla sibi;
nam si haec habeat aurum quod illi renumeret, faciat lubens.

To have her carried back home when she’s finished her
service, so that he mayn’t keep her for his maid servant.
Why, if she only had the money to pay him back, she’d be
glad to do it.

_Pistoc._

Ubi nunc is homost?

Where is this man at present?

_Bacch._

Iam hic credo aderit. sed hoc idem apud nos rectius
poteris agere; atque is dum veniat, sedens ibi opperibere.
eadem biberis, eadem dedero tibi, ubi biberis, savium.

He’ll be here soon, I suppose. But this is a matter you can
manage better at our house; yes, you sit down and wait there
till he comes. (_coaxingly_) You shall have something
to drink, too, and after that I’ll give you just the nicest
sort of kiss, too.

_Pistoc._

Viscus merus vostrast blanditia.

Nothing but birdlime, these honeyed words.

_Bacch._

Quid iam?

Oh now, why?

_Pistoc._

Quia enim intellego, 50
duae unum expetitis palumbem,[3] perii harundo alas verberat.
non ego istuc facinus mihi, mulier, conducibile esse arbitror.

Well, because here you are, the pair of you, after one lone
pigeon. (_aside_) Damnation! The limed twigs are brushing
my wings! (_aloud, stiffly_) Madam, I consider this an
unprofitable business for me to be in.

_Bacch._

Qui, amabo?

Bless your heart, why so?

_Pistoc._

Quia, Bacchis, bacchas metuo et bacchanal tuom.

Well, Bacchis, I’m afraid of Bacchantes and your Bacchante
resort.

_Bacch._

Quid est? quid metuis? ne tibi lectus malitiam apud me suadeat?

How’s that? What are you afraid of? The couch’s tempting you
to be naughty with me?

_Pistoc._

Magis illectum tuom quam lectum metuo. mala tu es bestia.
nam huic aetati non conducit, mulier, latebrosus locus.

It’s not so much the couch as the couch’s alluring occupant
I’m afraid of. You’re a dangerous animal. Why, dens of
darkness don’t become a young fellow like me.

_Bacch._

Egomet, apud me si quid stulte facere cupias, prohibeam.
sed ego apud me te esse ob eam rem, miles cum veniat, volo,
quia, cum tu aderis, huic mihique haud faciet quisquam iniuriam:
tu prohibebis, et eadem opera tuo sodali operam dabis; 60
et ille adveniens tuam med esse amicam suspicabitur.
quid, amabo, opticuisti?

(_quite artless_) If you felt like doing anything silly
there with me, I’d stop you my own self. But this is why I
want you to be at my house when the Captain comes--because
no one will do her (_pointing to sister_) or me any harm
when you’re by. You’ll prevent it, and be helping along your
chum at the same time; and when that military man arrives,
he’ll take me for your sweetheart. Now, now, my dearie,--
why so silent?

_Pistoc._

Quia istaec lepida sunt memoratui:
eadem in usu atque ubi periclum facias, aculeata sunt,
animum fodicant, bona distimulant, facta et famam sauciant.

Because those words of yours have a pretty sound: but when
a fellow takes ’em up and tries ’em they’re barbed--they
pink a heart, run a fortune through, disable a character
and reputation.

_Soror_

Quid ab hac metuis?

Why are you afraid of her?

_Pistoc._

Quid ego metuam rogitas? adulescens homo
penetrem me huius modi in palaestram,
ubi damnis desudascitur?[4] (66)

Why am I afraid of her, eh? A young fellow like me to enter
a physical training school of this sort (_pointing to
Bacchis’s house_) where a man only sweats himself to
insolvency?

_Bacch._

Lepide memoras.

(_with pretended admiration_) You do say such clever things!

_Pistoc._

Ubi ego capiam pro machaera turturem,[5] (68)
pro galea scaphium, pro insigni sit corolla plectilis, 70
pro hasta talos, pro lorica malacum capiam pallium,
ubi mihi pro equo lectus detur, scortum pro scuto accubet?
apage a me, apage.

Where my sword would be a turtle dove, my helmet a wine
bowl, my plume a woven chaplet, my spear a dice box, my
corselet a downy robe; where I’d be given a couch for a
horse, with a bad, bad girl beside me for a buckler?
Hence! Avaunt!

_Bacch._

Ah, nimium ferus es.

Ah, you’re too hard on us!

_Pistoc._

Mihi sum.

I am hard on myself.

_Bacch._

Malacissandus es.
equidem tibi do hanc operam.

We’ll have to soften you. Yes indeed, I’ll take you in hand
myself--(_fondling him_) this way.

_Pistoc._

Ah, nimium pretiosa es operaria.

(_submitting reluctantly_) Ah, your handiwork is too
expensive.

_Bacch._

Simulato me amare.

Do make believe you love me.

_Pistoc._

Utrum ego istuc iocon adsimulem an serio?

(_smiling_) Make believe in fun, or as if I meant business?

_Bacch._

Heia, hoc agere meliust. miles quom huc adveniat, te volo
me amplexari.

(_reprovingly_) Now, now! here’s what we’d better do. When
the Captain arrives I want you to hug me.

_Pistoc._

Quid eo mi opus est?

What’s the use of my doing that?

_Bacch._

Ut ille te videat volo.
scio quid ago.

I want him to see you. I know what I’m doing.

_Pistoc._

Et pol ego scio quid metuo. sed quid ais?

Gad! And I know what I’m fearing. But, I say.

_Bacch._

Quid est?

Well?

_Pistoc._

Quid si apud te eveniat desubito prandium aut potatio
forte aut cena, ut solet in istis fieri conciliabulis, 80
ubi ego tum accumbam?

What if there should happen to be an impromptu luncheon or
drinking party at your house, or a dinner party, perhaps--
the ordinary thing at resorts like yours--where would my
place be then?

_Bacch._

Apud me, mi anime, ut lepidus cum lepida accubet.
locus hic apud nos, quamvis subito venias, semper liber est.
ubi tu lepide voles esse tibi “mea rosa,” mihi dicito
“dato qui bene sit”: ego ubi bene sit tibi locum lepidum dabo.

Next to me, darling; a nice boy and a nice girl side by
side. This place at my house is your very own always, no
matter how unexpectedly you come. Whenever you want to have
a nice time just say, “Give me a comfy place, rosey dear,”
and I’ll give you a nice place to be comfy in.

_Pistoc._

Rapidus fluvius est hic, non hac temere transiri potest.

(_half to himself_) This is a rapid stream: dangerous
crossing here!

_Bacch._

Atque ecastor apud hunc fluvium aliquid perdundumst tibi.
manum da et sequere.

(_aside_) My conscience, yes! And a stream you’re bound to
lose something in, young man! (_aloud_) Give me your hand
and come along. (_tries to take it_)

_Pistoc._

Aha, minime.

(_drawing back_) Oh no, not a bit of it!

_Bacch._

Quid ita?

Why not?

_Pistoc._

Quia istoc inlecebrosius
fieri nil potest: nox mulier vinum homini adulescentulo.

Because a young fellow couldn’t be offered a more enticing
combination than that--wine, woman, and evening hours.

_Bacch._

Age igitur, equidem pol nihili facio nisi causa tua.
ille quidem hanc abducet; tu nullus adfueris, si non lubet. 90

All right then. Dear me, I don’t mind at all except for your
sake, indeed I don’t. To be sure he’ll carry her off; but
don’t you come near me if you don’t like to. (_looks at him
sadly and appealingly_)

_Pistoc._

Sumne autem nihili, qui nequeam ingenio moderari meo?

(_half aside_) So I’ve no mind at all, eh--no power to
control myself?

_Bacch._

Quid est quod metuas?

What is it you’re afraid of?

_Pistoc._

Nihil est, nugae. mulier, tibi me emancupo:
tuos sum, tibi dedo operam.

(_pauses, then ardently_) Nothing! Bagatelles! I surrender
myself to you, my lady: I’m all your own; command me.

_Bacch._

Lepidu’s. nunc ego te facere hoc volo.
ego sorori meae cenam hodie dare volo viaticam:
eo tibi argentum iubebo iam intus ecferri foras;
tu facito opsonatum nobis sit opulentum opsonium.

That’s a nice boy! (_petting him_) Now this is what I want
you to do. I want to give my sister a dinner to-day to
celebrate her coming. I’ll tell them to bring you out some
money at once, and you’re to see to provisioning us in
perfectly splendid style. (_turns to call to servant
hither_)

_Pistoc._

Ego opsonabo, nam id flagitium meum sit, mea te gratia
et operam dare mi et ad eam operam facere sumptum de tuo.

(_eagerly_) I’ll stand the provisioning myself: why, it
wouldn’t be decent of me to let you give me a good time, in
your kindness, and pay the bills for it too.

_Bacch._

At ego nolo dare te quicquam.

(_glancing slyly at her sister_) But I don’t want it to
cost you anything.

_Pistoc._

Sine.

Do let me.

_Bacch._

Sino equidem, si lubet
propera, amabo.

Oh, very well, if you really want to. Hurry along, there’s a
dear.

_Pistoc._

Prius hic adero quam te amare desinam. 100

(_fondly_) I’ll be back before I’ve stopped loving you.
[EXIT _Pistoclerus_.

_Soror_

Bene me accipies advenientem, mea soror.

You’re going to entertain me finely on my arrival, sister
mine.

_Bacch._

Quid ita, obsecro?

Indeed? Why do you say that?

_Soror_

Quia piscatus meo quidem animo hic tibi hodie
evenit bonus.

Well, that’s something fine in the fish line (_with a smile
toward the retreating figure of Pistoclerus_) you’ve landed
to-day, at least I think so.

_Bacch._

Meus ille quidemst. tibi nunc operam dabo de
Mnesilocho, soror,
ut hic accipias potius aurum, quam hinc eas cum milite.

Oh yes, I’ve caught him all right. Now I must help you out
in regard to Mnesilochus, my dear, so that you may pick up
some money here rather than go trooping off with the
Captain.

_Soror_

Cupio.

I do so wish you would.

_Bacch._

Dabitur opera. aqua calet. eamus hinc
intro, ut laves.
nam uti navi vecta es, credo timida es.

We’ll see to it. (_going toward house_) The water’s hot:
let’s go inside so that you may bathe. For after that sea
trip of yours I dare say you’re feeling shaky.

_Soror_

Aliquantum, soror.[6] (106)

More or less, sister.

_Bacch._

Sequere hac igitur me intro in lectum, ut sedes lassitudinem. (108)

Come on in with me then, so as to lie down and get rested.
[EXEUNT.

I. 2.

Scene 2.

(_An hour has elapsed._)

ENTER _Pistoclerus_ PRECEDED BY SLAVES CARRYING PROVISIONS,
FLOWERS, ETC. _Lydus_ FOLLOWS.

_Lydus_

Iam dudum, Pistoclere, tacitus te sequor,
expectans quas tu res hoc ornatu geras. 110
namque ita me di ament, ut Lycurgus mihi quidem
videtur posse hic ad nequitiam adducier.
quo nunc capessis ted hinc adversa via
cum tanta pompa?

(_magisterially_) I have been following you in silence for
some time, Pistoclerus, waiting to see what you were about
with this gear. (_pointing to slaves and their hampers_)
Why, Lord love me, I do believe Lycurgus[A] himself could be
led astray here. Where are you betaking yourself now, going
away up the street with such a train?

[Footnote A: The Spartan reformer]

_Pistoc._

Huc.

(_pointing to Bacchis’s door_) Here.

_Lydus_

Quid huc? quis istic habet?

What do you mean by “here”? Who lives there?

_Pistoc._

Amor, Voluptas, Venus, Venustas, Gaudium,
Iocus, Ludus, Sermo, Suavisaviatio.

(_rapturously_) Love, Delight, Venus, Grace, Joy, Jest,
Jollity, Chitchat, Kissykissysweetkins!

_Lydus_

Quid tibi commercist cum dis damnosissimis?

(_shocked_) What commerce have you with such
pernicious, pernicious deities?

_Pistoc._

Mali sunt homines, qui bonis dicunt male;
tu dis nec recte dicis: non aequom facis.

It takes a bad man to say bad things of the good; you’re
blaspheming the gods: it’s wrong.

_Lydus_

An deus est ullus Sauvisaviatio? 120

You mean to say there is a god Kissykissysweetkins?

_Pistoc._

An non putasti esse umquam? o Lyde, es barbarus;
quem ego sapere nimio censui plus quam Thalem,
is stultior es barbaro poticio,
qui tantus natu deorum nescis nomina.

You mean to say you didn’t ever suppose there was? Oh,
Lydus, you are a barbarian! I fancied you were ever so much
wiser than Thales and here you are, sillier than a barbarian
babe in arms--your age, and not knowing the names of the
gods!

_Lydus_

Non hic placet mi ornatus.

I do not like this paraphernalia.

_Pistoc._

Nemo ergo tibi
haec apparavit: mihi paratum est quoi placet.

Well, nobody got it together for you: it was got for me, and
I do like it.

_Lydus_

Etiam me advorsus exordire argutias?
qui si decem habeas linguas, mutum esse addecet.

Are you actually commencing to make smart replies to me? You
whom it befits to be mute, even if you had ten tongues?

_Pistoc._

Non omnis aetas, Lyde, ludo convenit.
magis unum in mentemst mihi nunc, satis ut commode 130
pro dignitate opsoni haec concuret cocus.

We aren’t schoolboys for ever, Lydus. The one thing
uppermost in my mind just now is that the cook may do as
creditable a job on these edibles as their excellence calls
for.

_Lydus_

Iam perdidisti te atque me atque operam meam,
qui tibi nequiquam saepe monstravi bene.

Ah, now you have thrown yourself away, and me, and my
labour,--me, who many a time gave you good advice, all in
vain!

_Pistoc._

Ibidem ego meam operam perdidi, ubi tu tuam:
tua disciplina nec mihi prodest nec tibi.

I threw away my own labour at the same place you did yours:
your system of instruction is no good to either of us.

_Lydus_

O praeligatum pectus.

Oh, what an obdurate breast!

_Pistoc._

Odiosus mihi es.
tace atque sequere, Lyde, me.

You’re a bore! Keep still and come along, Lydus.

_Lydus_

Illuc sis vide,
non paedagogum iam me, sed Lydum vocat.

Now kindly look at that! He no longer calls me “Tutor,”
merely Lydus.

_Pistoc._

Non par videtur neque sit consentaneum,
cum haec qui emit intus sit et cum amica accubet 140
cumque osculetur et convivae alii accubent,
praesentibus illis paedagogus una ut siet.

It’s not the proper thing, it would be out of place, when
the man who bought all this is inside there, and on a couch
with his mistress, kissing her--and other guests about--to
have his “Tutor” there in their presence.

_Lydus_

An hoc ad eas res opsonatumst, obsecro?

(_horrified_) In the name of heaven! These provisions
bought for such an orgy?

_Pistoc._

Sperat quidem animus: quo evenat dis in manust.

(_flippantly_) Well, of course man proposes and God
disposes.

_Lydus_

Tu amicam habebis?

You to have a mistress, you?

_Pistoc._

Cum videbis, tum scies.

(_enthusiastically_) Once you see her, then you’ll know!

_Lydus_

Immo neque habebis neque sinam; i prorsum domum.

Never! You shall not have one; I will not allow it. (_taking
Pistoclerus by the arm and trying to lead him back_) Go home
this instant.

_Pistoc._

Omitte, Lyde, ac cave malo.

(_pulling away_) Leave me alone, Lydus, and (_threateningly_)
look out for trouble.

_Lydus_

Quid? cave malo?

What? “Look out for trouble?”

_Pistoc._

Iam excessit mi aetas ex magisterio tuo.

I’m too old for you to play the teacher these days.

_Lydus_

O barathrum, ubi nunc es? ut ego te usurpem lubens.[7] 149
vixisse nimio satiust iam quam vivere. (151)
magistron quemquam discipulum minitarier?[8]

(_tragically_) Oh, pit, where art thou now? How gladly would
I take thee for mine own! Far better that I had died than
lived for this! A pupil to threaten his teacher?[8]

_Pistoc._

Fiam, ut ego opinor, Hercules, tu autem Linus. (155)

It’s a Hercules I’ll be, I’m thinking, and you a Linus.[B]

[Footnote B: Linus was killed by his pupil, Hercules.]

_Lydus_

Pol metuo magis, ne Phoenix tuis factis fuam
teque ad patrem esse mortuom renuntiem.

Great heavens! I have more fear of your actions forcing me
to be a Phoenix[C] and to convey to your father the news of
your death.

[Footnote C: Phoenix, Achilles’ preceptor, informed
Peleus, Achilles’ father, of his son’s death]

_Pistoc._

Satis historiarumst.

(_impatiently_) Enough of your tales!

_Lydus_

Hic vereri perdidit.
compendium edepol haud aetati optabile
fecisti, cum istanc nactu’s inpudentiam. 160
occisus hic homo est. ecquid in mentem est tibi
patrem tibi esse?

He is lost to shame! Great heavens! You gained nothing that
does credit to your years in acquiring this impudence. The
creature is past redemption! Does it ever occur to you that
you have a father?

_Pistoc._

Tibi ego an tu mihi servos es?

Am I your servant, or you mine?

_Lydus_

Peior magister te istaec docuit, non ego.
nimio es tu ad istas res discipulus docilior,
quam ad illa quae te docui, ubi operam perdidi.[9] (165)

It was a wicked, wicked teacher gave you these lessons, not
I! You are a much apter pupil in matters of this sort than
in the subjects I lost my labour teaching you.[9]

_Pistoc._

Istactenus tibi, Lyde, libertas datast (168)
orationis. satis est. sequere hac me ac tace.

(_coolly_) I’ve let you rant to your heart’s content, so
far, Lydus. Now drop it. Follow me this way and keep your
mouth shut.
[EXEUNT INTO THE HOUSE OF _Bacchis_, _Lydus_ RELUCTANTLY.

ACTVS II