Chapter VIII: Act V: (Half an hour has elapsed.)

ENTER _Bromia_ FROM HOUSE, IN A PANIC.

_Brom._

Spes atque opes vitae meae iacent sepultae in pectore,
neque ullast confidentia iam in corde, quin amiserim;
ita mihi videntur omnia, mare terra caelum, consequi,
iam ut opprimar, ut enicer. me miseram, quid agam nescio.

Oh, my hopes and chances of getting out of this alive are
dead and buried inside of me! There’s not a thing left to
keep my courage up now! The way everything--sea, land, sky--
does seem set on crushing me, killing me off this instant!
Oh dear, oh dear! What to do I don’t know.

ita tanta mira in aedibus sunt facta. vae miserae mihi,
animo malest, aquam velim. corrupta sum atque absumpta sum.
caput dolet, neque audio, nec oculis prospicio satis,
nec me miserior femina est neque ulla videatur magis. 1060

Such amazing
things as did happen in there! Oh, poor me! I feel faint.
Oh, for some water! I’m a wreck, I’m all done up. My head’s
splitting, and I can’t hear or see right, either. There
isn’t a wretcheder woman on earth, or one that could seem
so, either.

ita erae meae hodie contigit. nam ubi parturit, deos sibi invocat,
strepitus, crepitus, sonitus, tonitrus:
ut subito, ut propere, ut valide tonuit!
ubi quisque institerat, concidit crepitu. ibi nescio quis maxuma
voce exclamat: “Alcumena, adest auxilium, ne time:
et tibi et tuis propitius caeli cultor advenit.
exsurgite” inquit “qui terrore meo occidistis prae metu.”

The experience mistress did have this day! As
soon as her time comes she calls on the gods to help her,
and there’s a grumbling and rumbling and smashing and
crashing--what a crash, so sudden and quick and heavy it
was! Every one fell flat where he stood at the peal. And
then some one or other called out in a mighty voice:
“Alcmena, help is at hand: be not afraid. To thee and thine
the sovereign of the skies comes in kindliness. Rise,” he
said, “ye who have fallen in terror, from dread of me.”

ut iacui, exsurgo. ardere censui aedis, ita tum confulgebant.
ibi me inclamat Alcumena; iam ea res me horrore adficit,
erilis praevertit metus: accurro, ut sciscam quid velit.
atque illam geminos filios pueros peperisse conspicor; 1070
neque nostrum quisquam sensimus, quom peperit, neque providimus.

Having dropped, I got on my feet: I thought the house was
afire, the way it was all lit up then. Just then Alcmena
calls for me to come. I was trembling already at what
happened, but fear of mistress prevailed, and up I run
to find out what she wants. And there I see she has given
birth to twins, boys, and not a soul of us noticed when
it happened, or is ready for it!

sed quid hoc? quis hic est senex, qui ante aedis nostras sic iacet?
numnam hunc percussit Iuppiter?
credo edepol, nam, pro Iuppiter, sepultust quasi sit mortuos.
ibo et cognoscam, quisquis est. Amphitruo hic quidem est erus meus.
Amphitruo.

(_sees prostrate Amphitryon_) But what’s this? Who’s
this old man lying like this in front of our house? Why,
can it be he’s struck by lightning? Why, mercy me, I do
believe so! For, good gracious, he’s as completely disposed
of as if he was a corpse! I’ll go find out, whoever it
is. (_approaches_) It’s Amphitryon! It’s my master!
(_calling_) Amphitryon!

_Amph._

Perii.

(_feebly_) Heaven help me!

_Brom._

Surge.

Get up, sir.

_Amph._

Interii.

I’m dead!

_Brom._

Cedo manum.

Give me your hand, sir. (_takes it_)

_Amph._

Quis me tenet?

Who has hold of me?

_Brom._

Tua Bromia ancilla.

Your servant maid, sir, Bromia.

_Amph._

Totus timeo, ita me increpuit Iuppiter.
nec secus est, quasi si ab Acherunte veniam. sed quid tu foras
egressa es?

I’m paralysed with fear! Oh, Jove, what a bolt! I feel as if
I were getting back--from the next world. (_he gets up_) But
what made you come out?

_Brom._

Eadem nos formido timidas terrore impulit
in aedibus, tu ubi habitas. nimia mira vidi. vae mihi, 1080
Amphitruo, ita mihi animus etiam nunc abest.

We poor women were struck with the same terror in this house
of yours, sir. I’ve seen the most amazing things! Oh deary
me, master, I’m just clean dazed even now!

_Amph._

Agedum expedi:
scin me tuom esse erum Amphitruonem?

Come, come, quick, tell me--do you know me for your master,
Amphitryon?

_Brom._

Scio.

Surely, sir.

_Amph._

Vide etiam nunc.

Here, look, look again!

_Brom._

Scio.

(_obeying_) Surely, sir.

_Amph._

Haec sola sanam mentem gestat meorum familiarium.

(_half aside_) She’s the only one of my household that has
any sanity about her.

_Brom._

Immo omnes sani sunt profecto.

Oh no, sir, they’re all sane, of course they are.

_Amph._

At me uxor insanum facit
suis foedis factis.

Well, my wife had driven me insane with her infamous
actions!

_Brom._

At ego faciam, tu idem ut aliter praedices,
Amphitruo, piam et pudicam esse tuam uxorem ut scias.
de ea re signa atque argumenta paucis verbis eloquar.
omnium primum: Alcumena geminos peperit filios.

(_warmly_) Well, I’ll make you change that tune, sir, your
very own self, and make you realize that your wife is a
pious, honest woman, sir. I’ll soon give you signs and
proofs of that. First of all, she has given birth to
twin sons.

_Amph._

Ain tu, geminos?

What’s that--twins?

_Brom._

Geminos.

Twins.

_Amph._

Di me servant.

The gods are with me!

_Brom._

Sine me dicere,
ut scias tibi tuaeque uxori decs esse omnis propitios. 1090

Let me go on, so that you may know all the gods mean well by
you and your wife, sir.

_Amph._

Loquere.

Yes, yes.

_Brom._

Postquam parturire hodie uxor occepit tua,
ubi utero exorti dolores, ut solent puerperae
invocat deos immortales, ut sibi auxilium ferant,
manibus puris, capite operto. ibi continuo contonat
sonitu maxumo; aedes primo ruere rebamur tuas.
aedes totae confulgebant tuae, quasi essent aureae.

After she began to feel near her time to-day and her pains
were setting in, she called on the immortal gods to help
her--as women do, sir, in labour--with clean washed hands
and covered head. She had no sooner begun than there was a
frightful thunder clap. At first we thought your house was
tumbling down: your whole house was shining, sir, just as if
it was gold.

_Amph._

Quaeso absolvito hinc me extemplo, quando satis deluseris.
quid fit deinde?

For heaven’s sake hurry up and don’t keep me on tenterhooks!
I have had enough of your trifling! What happened next?

_Brom._

Dum haec aguntur, interea uxorem tuam
neque gementem neque plorantem nostrum quisquam audivimus;
ita profecto sine dolore peperit.

While this was going on, not one of us heard your wife groan
or whimper a bit, sir, the whole time: that’s how she bore
those boys, sir--never a pang, that’s plain.

_Amph._

Iam istuc gaudeo, 1100
utut erga me merita est.

(_heartily_) Well now, I’m glad of that, no matter what her
behaviour to me has been.

_Brom._

Mitte ista atque haec quae dicam accipe.
postquam peperit, pueros lavere iussit nos. occepimus.
sed puer ille quem ego lavi, ut magnust et multum valet!
neque eum quisquam colligare quivit incunabulis.

Do let that be, sir, and listen. After they were born she
told us to bathe them. We began. But that boy I bathed! How
big and strong he was! Not a soul of us could wrap him in
his swaddling clothes.

_Amph._

Nimia mira memoras; si istaec vera sunt, divinitus
non metuo quin meae uxori latae suppetiae sient.

A most astounding story! If it be true, there’s no doubt
that my wife received divine aid.

_Brom._

Magis iam faxo mira dices. postquam in cunas conditust,
devolant angues iubati deorsum in impluvium duo
maximi: continuo extollunt ambo capita.

You’ll call this more astounding still, sir, I warrant you.
After he was tucked in his cradle, two enormous crested
serpents came slipping down into the fountain basin: the
next second both of them were lifting up their heads.

_Amph._

Ei mihi.

Heavens and earth!

_Brom._

Ne pave. sed angues occulis omnis cirumvisere. 1110
postquam pueros conspicati, pergunt ad cunas citi.
ego cunas recessim rursum vorsum trahere et ducere,
metuens pueris, mihi formidans; tantoque angues acrius
persequi. postquam conspexit angues ille alter puer,
citus e cunis exilit, facit recta in anguis impetum:
alterum altera prehendit eos manu perniciter.

Don’t be scared. Well, the serpents glared around at all of
us. As soon as they spied the boys they made for the cradles
like a flash. I backed away, fearful for the boys and
frightened for myself, pulling and hauling the cradles along
after me with the serpents a-chasing us all the angrier. The
minute that boy I was telling of sets eyes on the serpents
he’s up and out of that cradle in a trice, rushing straight
for ’em and grabbing ’em one in each hand quick as a wink.

_Amph._

Mira memoras, nimis formidolosum facinus praedicas;
nam mihi horror membra misero percipit dictis tuis.
quid fit deinde? porro loquere.

Astounding! Astounding! A perfectly horrifying tale! Mercy
on us! why, your very words palsy me! What then? Go on, go
on!

_Brom._

Puer ambo angues enicat.
dum haec aguntur, voce clara exclamat uxorem tuam-- 1120

The boy chokes both serpents to death. While this is going
on, in a clear voice he calls out the name of your wife--

_Amph._

Quis homo?

Who does?

_Brom._

Summus imperator divom atque hominum Iuppiter.
is se dixit cum Alcumena clam consuetum cubitibus,
eumque filium suom esse qui illos angues vicerit;
alterum tuom esse dixit puerum.

The almighty ruler of gods and men, Jupiter. He said that he
himself had secretly shared Alcmena’s bed and that that was
his son who had crushed the serpents: the other one, he
said, was your own child.

_Amph._

Pol me haud paenitet,
si licet boni dimidium mihi dividere cum Iove.
abi domum, iube vasa pura actutum adornari mihi,
ut Iovis supremi multis hostiis pacem expetam.

Well, well, well! I make no complaint at being permitted to
have Jove as partner in my blessings. In with you, girl!
Have sacrificial vessels made ready for me instantly so that
I may seek the favour of omnipotent Jove with ample
offerings. [EXIT _Bromia_.

ego Teresiam coniectorem advocabo et consulam
quid faciundum censeat; simul hanc rem ut facta est eloquar.
sed quid hoc? quam valide tonuit. di, obsecro vostram fidem. 1130

I’ll summon Tiresias the prophet and consult with him as to
what he thinks should be done, and at the same time tell him
all that’s happened, (_thunder_) But what’s this? That awful
thunder peal! Heaven preserve us!

V. 2.

Scene 2.

_Jupiter_ APPEARS ABOVE.

_Iup._
_Jup._

Bono animo es, adsum auxilio, Amphitruo, tibi et tuis:
nihil est quod timeas. hariolos, haruspices
mitte omnes; quae futura et quae facta eloquar,
multo adeo melius quam illi, quom sum Iuppiter.
primum omnium Alcumenae usuram corporis
cepi, et concubitu gravidam feci filio.

Be of good cheer. I am here with aid, Amphitryon, for thee
and thine. Thou hast naught to fear. Seers, soothsayers--
have none of them. I will make known to thee future and past
alike, and better far than they, moreover, for I am Jupiter.
First of all, then, I took thy Alcmena to myself and by me
she was made a mother.

tu gravidam item fecisti, cum in exercitum
profectu’s: uno partu duos peperit simul.
eorum alter, nostro qui est susceptus semine,
suis factis te immortali adficiet gloria. 1140
tu cum Alcumena uxore antiquam in gratiam
redi: haud promeruit quam ob rem vitio vorteres;
mea vi subactast facere. ego in caelum migro.

By thee too was she with child when thou didst go forth to
war: at one birth she bore them both. The one begotten of my
seed shall win thee undying glory by his works. Live again
in fond concord as of old with thy wife Alcmena: she has
done naught to merit thy reproach: my power was on her.
I now depart to heaven. [EXIT _Jupiter_.

V. 3.

Scene 3.

_Amph._

Faciam ita ut iubes et te oro, promissa ut serves tua,
ibo ad uxorem intro, missum facio Teresiam senem.

(_reverently_) Thy will shall be done: and keep thy
word with me, I beg thee. (_after a pause_) I’ll in and
see my wife! No more of old Tiresias!

nunc, spectatores, Iovis summi causa clare plaudite.

(_to the audience_)
Now, spectators, for the sake of Jove almighty, give us some
loud applause.

[EXIT.

[Footnote 2: Corrupt (Leo): _Alcumena_ MSS: _illa_ Bothe.]

[Footnote 4: Leo brackets following v., 14:
_lucrum ut perenne vobis semper suppetat._]

[Footnote 5: Corrupt (Leo): _affero_ MSS:
_fero_ Acidalius, followed by Lindsay and others.]

[Footnote 6: Leo assumes lacuna here.]

[Footnote 7: _architectust_ Pareus: _architectus_ MSS.
Lambinus suggests that the actor who took the part of Jupiter
may have been a builder.]

[Footnote 8: Corrupt (Leo): _illi_ MSS:
_ille illi_ Ussing, followed by Lindsay.]

[Footnote 9: Leo brackets following v., 93:
_praeterea certo prodit in tragoedia._]

[Footnote 10: Leo brackets following v., 173:
_nec aequom anne iniquom imperet cogitabit._]

[Footnote 11: _vicimus vi_ MSS: Leo brackets _vicimus._]

[Footnote 12: Corrupt (Leo): “_Convertitur pro convertit_,”
Nonius 480.]

[Footnote 13: Corrupt (Leo): _neme esse_ MSS:
among the many emendations is _sane_ (Palmer).]

[Footnote 14: Leo brackets following v., 401:
_qui cum Amphitruone hinc una ieram in exercitum._]

[Footnote 15: Leo brackets following v., 489-90:
_et ne in suspicione ponatur stupri_
_et clandestina ut celetur consuetio._]

[Footnote 16: Corrupt (Leo): _si non id ita_ J.]

[Footnote 17: Leo notes slight _lacuna_ here:
_mirum_ MSS: _mirum mirum_ Spengel.]

[Footnote 18: Leo brackets following v., 629-632:

_sed vide ex navi efferantur quae imperavi iam omnia._
Sos.
_Et memor sum et diligens, ut quae imperes comparcant;_
_non ego cum vino simitu ebibi imperium tuom._
Amph.
_Vtinam di faxint, infecta dicta re eveniant tua._]

[Footnote 19: Corrupt (Leo): _quom te gravidam_ MSS:
_quom gravidam_ Pylades.]

[Footnote 20: Leo brackets following v., 685:
_atque me nunc proinde appellas quasi multo post videris?_]

[Footnote 21: _enim verbis probas_ Lachmann:
_probas_ vel _proba’s_ Lindsay: _in verbis probas_ MSS.]

[Footnote 22: Leo notes lacuna here. _Ita ingenium_ MSS:
_Ita ingeni ingenium_ Seyffert, followed by Lindsay.]

[Footnote 23: Corrupt (Leo): _duxero_ MSS: _adsero_ Leo

[Footnote 24: Leo notes lacuna here and suggests
_is a Mercurio impransus_.]

[Footnote 25: Corrupt (Leo): _nam iam_ MSS: _iam_ Gruter.]

* * * * *

[Transcriber’s Corrections: _Amphitryon_

Personae:
MERCVRIVS DEUS, SOSIA SERVUS...
spelling unchanged, as in _Captivi_

I. 1. l. 314
nam continuas has tris noctes pervigilavi
text reads _contiuas_

I. 1.
_Sos._ ...and my name is Sosia
text reads _my same is Sosia_ ]

II. 1. l. 580
_Sos._: Quid est negoti?
Latin text omits speaker’s name

V. 2. l. 1142
haud promeruit quam ob rem vitio vorteres
text reads _quam ob tem_ ]

* * * * *
* * * *
* * * * *

ASINARIA

THE COMEDY OF ASSES

* * * * *

ARGVMENTVM

ARGUMENT OF THE PLAY

*A*manti argento filio auxiliarier
*S*ub imperio vivens volt senex uxorio.
*I*taque ob asinos relatum pretium Saureae
*N*umerari iussit servolo Leonidae.
*A*d amicam id fertur. cedit noctem filius.
*R*ivalis amens ob praereptam mulierem,
*I*s rem omnem uxori per parasitum nuntiat.
*A*ccurrit uxor ac virum e lustris rapit.

An old gentleman, whose wife is the head of the household,
desires to give his son financial support in a love affair.
He therefore had some money, brought to Saurea in payment
for some asses, counted out to a certain rascally servant of
his own, Leonida. This money goes to the young fellow’s
mistress, and he concedes his father an evening with her.
A rival of his, beside himself at being deprived of the
girl, sends word, by a parasite, to the old gentleman’s
wife, of the whole matter. In rushes the wife and drags her
husband from the house of vice.

PERSONAE

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

LIBANVS SERVVS
DEMAENETVS SENEX
ARGYRIPPVS ADVLESCENS
CLEARETA LENA
LEONIDA SERVVS
MERCATOR
PHILAENIVM MERETRIX
DIABOLVS ADVLESCENS
PARASITVS
ARTEMONA MATRONA

LIBANUS, _slave of Demaenetus_.
DEMAENETUS, _an old gentleman of Athens_.
ARGYRIPPUS, _his son_.
CLEARETA, _a procuress_.
LEONIDA, _slave of Demaenetus_.
A TRADER.
PHILAENIUM, _a courtesan, daughter of Cleareta_.
DIABOLUS, _a young gentleman of Athens_.
A PARASITE.
ARTEMONA, _wife of Demaenetus_.

_Scene:--Athens. A street running in front of the houses
of Demaenetus and Cleareta: between the houses is a narrow
lane._

PROLOGVS