Chapter XXIII: Act III: Lydus

Pandite atque aperite propere ianuam hanc Orci, obsecro.

(_wildly, inside Bacchis’s house_) Quick, quick, open up,
I beseech you, unclose this door of hell!
ENTER _Lydus_ HURRIEDLY.

nam equidem haud aliter esse duco, quippe quo nemo advenit,
nisi quem spes reliquere omnes, esse ut frugi possiet. 370
Bacchides non Bacchides, sed bacchae sunt acerrumae.
apage istas a me sorores, quae hominum sorbent sanguinem.
omnis ad perniciem instructa domus opime atque opipare--
quae ut aspexi, me continuo contuli protinam in pedes.

For I verily believe it is nothing else, a place where no
man enters save him who has lost all hopes of his capacity
for good. Bacchises! No Bacchises these, but the wildest of
Bacchantes. Avaunt, avaunt, ye sisters who suck the blood of
men! Their whole abode is tricked out as a gilded, gorgeous
lure to ruin--as soon as I perceived the nature of my
surroundings I fled, fled forthwith.

egone ut haec conclusa gestem clanculum? ut celem patrem,
Pistoclere, tua flagitia aut damna aut desidiabula?[11] (376)
neque mei neque te tui intus puditumst factis quae facis, (379)
quibus tuom patrem meque una, amicos, adfinis tuos 380
tua infamia fecisti gerulifigulos flagiti.[12]
de me hanc culpam demolibor iam et seni faciam palam, (383)
ut eum ex lutulento caeno propere hinc eliciat foras.

(_violently to those within_) Am I the man to carry this
shut up within me, to keep it secret? To conceal from your
father, Pistoclerus, your enormities, your extravagances,
your horrid resorts?[11] Neither in my sight, nor your own,
did you feel any shame at your actions, actions, you infamous
creature, that make your father, and me too, and your friends
and relatives accessories to your disgrace. (_making off_)
I am going to clear myself of blame in the matter this very
minute and inform his poor old father of it all, so that he
may hurry and draw him forth from this filthy slough.

III. 2.

Scene 2.

ENTER _Mnesilochus_, FOLLOWED AT SOME DISTANCE BY SLAVES
CARRYING HIS LUGGAGE.

_Mnes._

Multimodis meditatus egomet mecum sum, et ita esse arbitror
homini amico, qui est amicus ita uti nomen possidet,
nisi deos ei nil praestare, id opera expertus sum esse ita
nam ut in Ephesum hinc abii--hoc factumst ferme abhinc biennium--
ex Epheso huc ad Pistoclerum meum sodalem litteras
misi, amicam ut mi inveniret Bacchidem. illum intellego 390
invenisse, ut servos meus mi nuntiavit Chrysalus.

I’ve given the question careful consideration, and what I
believe is this: nothing but Heaven itself excels a friend
who is a friend in the full sense of the term; I’ve found
this is so from my own experience. After I went away from
here to Ephesus--almost two years ago, that was--I sent a
letter from there to my chum Pistoclerus asking him to find
my mistress, Bacchis, for me. And find her he did, it seems,
according to that fellow Chrysalus of mine.

condigne is quam techinam de auro advorsum meum fecit patrem,
ut mi amanti copia esset[13]
nam pol quidem meo animo ingrato homine nihil inpensiust,
malefactorem amitti satius quam relinqui beneficum;
nimio inpendiosum praestat te quam ingratum dicier;
illum laudabunt boni, hunc etiam ipsi culpabunt mali.

(_pauses_) Quite worthy of Chrysalus, that scheme of his
against my father to get the money, so that my amorous self
might have supplies. (_pauses_) Well, well, to my own mind
there’s nothing more expensive than being an ingrate.
Letting a malefactor off is better than turning your back on
a benefactor. The name of being too extravagant is a great
deal better for you than that of being ungrateful. Good men
will speak well of the first sort of fellow: even rascals
themselves will blame the second.

qua me causa magis cum cura esse aecum, obvigilatost opus.
nunc, Mnesiloche, specimen specitur, nunc certamen cernitur,
sisne necne ut esse oportet, malus, bonus quoivis modi, 400
iustus iniustus, malignus largus, comis incommodus.
cave sis te superare servom siris faciundo bene
utut eris, moneo, haud celabis. sed eccos video incedere
patrem sodalis et magistrum. hinc auscultabo quam rem agant.

I must take all the more care, then, how I act and keep
my eyes open. Here’s where you show a sample of yourself,
Mnesilochus; here’s where you’re put to the test whether
you’re the man you should be or not--bad or good, whatever
you are--just or unjust--mean or generous--gentleman or cad.
Mind you look out not to let your servant be your better in
doing the kindly thing. No matter what you’ll be, I warn you
you can’t conceal it. (_looking down street_) Hullo, though!
Here come my chum’s father and tutor ambling along. I’ll
listen to what they’re up to from over here. (_withdraws_)

III. 3.

Scene 3.

ENTER _Lydus_ AND _Philoxenus_.

_Lydus_

Nunc experiar, sitne aceto tibi cor acre in pectore.
sequere.

(_struggling to control himself_) Now we shall see
whether or no you have a heart of fiery feeling within you.
Follow me!

_Phil._

Quo sequar? quo ducis nunc me?

(_calmly_) Follow you where? Where are you taking me to now?

_Lydus_

Ad illam quae tuom
perdidit, pessum dedit tibi filium unice unicum

To the woman who has depraved, destroyed your one and only
son!

_Phil._

Heia, Lyde, leniter qui saeviunt sapiunt magis.
minus mirandumst, illaec aetas si quid illorum facit,
quam si non faciat. feci ego istaec itidem in adulescentia. 410

Gently, gently, Lydus! “Ire restrained is wisdom gained.”
It’s less surprising to have a youngster up to something of
that kind than not. I’ve done the same sort of thing myself
in my younger days.

_Lydus_

Ei mihi, ei mihi, istaec illum perdidit assentatio
nam absque te esset, ego illum haberem rectum ad ingenium bonum
nunc propter te tuamque pravos factus est fiduciam
Pistoclerus.

Oh-h-h dear, oh dear! It is that very tolerance that has
been his undoing. Why, but for you, I should have made a
good moral man of him: as it is, you and your support have
made a debauchee of Pistoclerus.

_Mnes._

Di immortales, meum sodalem hic nominat.
quid hoc negoti est, Pistoclerum Lydus quod erum tam ciet?

(_aside_) Good God! My chum’s name! What does this mean--
Lydus running down his master Pistoclerus so?

_Phil._

Paulisper, Lyde est libido homini suo animo obsequi;
iam aderit tempus, cum sese etiam ipse oderit. morem geras;
dum caveatur, praeter aequom ne quid delinquat, sine.

A man’s eager to have his fling for a little while, Lydus;
the time will soon come when he’ll actually loathe himself
for it. Give him rein; so long as he’s careful not to go too
far in his indiscretions, why, let him be.

_Lydus_

Non sino, neque equidem illum me vivo corrumpi sinam.
sed tu, qui pro tam corrupto dicis causam filio, 420
eademne erat haec disciplina tibi, cum tu adulescens eras?
nego tibi hoc annis viginti fuisse primis copiae,
digitum longe a paedagogo pedem ut efferres aedibus.

I will not let him be, no, nor let him be corrupted and live
to see it, never! But you--with your pleas for a son so
corrupted--was your own training of this same sort when you
were a young man? I say no, I say you never had a chance
during the first twenty years of your life to stir a single
finger’s breadth from the house without your tutor.

ante solem exorientem nisi in palaestram veneras,
gymnasi praefecto haud mediocris poenas penderes.
id quom optigerat, hoc etiam ad malum accersebatur malum:
et discipulus et magister perhibebantur improbi.
ibi cursu luctando hasta disco pugilatu pila
saliendo sese exercebant magis quam scorto aut saviis:
ibi suam aetatem extendebant, non in latebrosis locis. 430

Unless you had arrived at the athletic grounds before
sunrise, it was no slight penalty the Gymnasium Director
imposed on you. When this had happened, this further trouble
was added, that pupil and teacher too were held to be
disgraced. There it was by running, wrestling, throwing the
spear and discus, boxing, ball, jumping, they used to get
their exercise, rather than by means of wenches, or kisses:
it was there they used to spend their lives, not in dark
dens of vice.

inde de hippodromo et palaestra ubi revenisses domum,
cincticulo praecinctus in sella apud magistrum adsideres
cum libro: cum legeres, si unam peccavisses syllabam,
fieret corium tam maculosum quam est nutricis pallium.

Then when you had returned home from the track and field,
all neat and trim you would sit on your chair before your
teacher with your book: and while you were reading, if you
had missed a single syllable, your hide would be made as
spotted as a nurse’s gown.

_Mnes._

Propter me haec nunc meo sodali dici discrucior miser;
innocens suspicionem hanc sustinet causa mea.

(_aside_) It’s torment, hang it, to have my chum coming in
for all this on my account; it’s for my sake he’s shouldering
this suspicion, poor innocent.

_Phil._

Alii, Lyde, nunc sunt mores.

(_soothingly_) The customs of to-day are different, Lydus.

_Lydus_

Id equidem ego certo scio.
nam olim populi prius honorem capiebat suffragio,
quam magistro desinebat esse dicto oboediens;
at nunc, prius quam septuennis est, si attingas eum manu, 440
extemplo puer paedagogo tabula disrumpit caput.

Indeed they are! I realize the truth of that. Why, in the
old days a young man would be holding office, by popular
vote, before he had ceased to hearken to his teacher’s
precepts. But nowadays, before a youngster is seven years
old, if you lay a finger on him, he promptly takes his
writing tablet and smashes his tutor’s head with it.

cum patrem adeas postulatum, puero sic dicit pater:
“noster esto, dum te poteris defensare iniuria.”
provocatur paedagogus: “eho senex minimi preti,
ne attigas puerum istac causa, quando fecit strenue.”[14] (445)
itur illinc iure dicto. hocine hic pacto potest (447)
inhibere imperium magister, si ipsus primus vapulet?

When you go to his father with a protest, he talks to the
youngster in this strain: (_mimicking_) “You’re father’s own
boy so long as you can defend yourself against abuse.” Then
the tutor is summoned: “Hey, you worthless old baggage,
don’t you touch my boy merely for acting like a lad of
spirit!“ Judgment pronounced, the court adjourns. Can a
teacher exert authority here under such conditions, if he
is beaten first himself?

_Mnes._

Acris postulatio haec est. cum huius dicta intellego,
mira sunt ni Pistoclerus Lydum pugnis contudit. 450

(_aside_) Here’s a warm protest! Judging from his remarks,
it’s a wonder if Pistoclerus hasn’t been punching Lydus’s
head.

_Lydus_

Sed quis hic est, quem astantem video ante ostium? o Philoxene,
deos propitios me videre quam illum haud mavellem mihi.

(_looking in the direction of Mnesilochus_) But who is this
I see standing in front of the door? (_recognizing him_) Ah,
Philoxenus, that is a man whose support I should value no
less than that of the gods!

_Phil._

Quis illic est?

Who is it?

_Lydus_

Mnesilochus, gnati tui sodalis.[15]
haud consimili ingenio atque ille est qui in lupanari accubat.
fortunatum Nicobulum, qui illum produxit sibi.

Mnesilochus, your son’s chum. And a youth so, so different
from the one lolling in that vile house! (_pointing to
Bacchis’s_) Happy, happy Nicobulus to have brought up such
a lad!

_Phil._

Salvos sis, Mnesiloche, salvom te advenire gaudeo.

(_stepping forward_) How are you, Mnesilochus? I’m glad to
see you safely back.

_Mnes._

Di te ament, Philoxene.

(_heartily shaking hands_) God bless you, Philoxenus!

_Lydus_

Hic enim rite productust patri:
in mare it, rem familiarem curat, custodit domum,
obsequens oboediensque est mori atque imperiis patris.
hic sodalis Pistoclero iam puer puero fuit; 460
triduom non interest aetatis uter maior siet:
verum ingenium plus triginta annis maiust quam alteri.

Ah, yes, here is a son to rejoice a father’s heart: goes to
sea, attends to family affairs, is the bulwark of the home,
observes and obeys his father’s every wish and word. He was
Pistoclerus’s chum even when they were boys--not three days’
difference between them so far as age is concerned, but this
lad is more than thirty years his senior in native sense.

_Phil._

Cave malo et compesce in illum dicere iniuste.

(_angrily_) Look out for yourself, and stop speaking about
the lad unfairly!

_Lydus_

Tace.
stultus es qui illi male aegre patere dici qui facit.[16] (464)

Peace! fool that you are to be pained at hearing him badly
spoken of, when he is bad![16]

_Mnes._

Quid sodalem meum castigas, Lyde, discipulum tuom? (467)

(_innocently_) Why are you finding fault with my chum,
Lydus, your own pupil?

_Lydus_

Periit tibi sodalis.

(_tragically_) Your chum has perished!

_Mnes._

Ne di sirint.

God forbid!

_Lydus_

Sic est ut loquor.
quin ego cum peribat vidi, non ex audito arguo.

It’s just as I tell you. Ah yes, I myself beheld him in the
act: I am not accusing him on hearsay.

_Mnes._

Quid factum est?

What has happened?

_Lydus_

Meretricem indigne deperit.

He is shockingly infatuated with a courtesan.

_Mnes._

Non tu taces? 470

(_apparently scandalized_) Oh, don’t say such a thing!

_Lydus_

Atque acerrume aestuosam: absorbet ubi quemque attigit.

Yes, and a perfect maelstrom of a woman: she sucks down
every man who comes within her reach.

_Mnes._

Ubi ea mulier habitat?

Where does this woman live?

_Lydus_

Hic.

(_pointing_) Here.

_Mnes._

Unde esse eam aiunt?

Where do they say she is from?

_Lydus_

Ex Samo.

Samos.

_Mnes._

Quae vocatur?

What is her name?

_Lydus_

Bacchis.

Bacchis.

_Mnes._

Erras, Lyde: ego omnem rem scio
quem ad modumst. tu Pistoclerum falso atque insontem arguis.
nam ille amico et benevolenti suo sodali sedulo
rem mandatam exsequitur. ipsus neque amat nec tu creduas.

(_with an air of relief_) You’re mistaken, Lydus: I know all
about the matter, just how it stands. That’s a false charge
of yours, and Pistoclerus is innocent. Why, he’s fulfilling
a commission for a friend and well-wisher of his, a chum,
and doing it zealously. He doesn’t love her himself, and
you mustn’t think he does.

_Lydus_

Itane oportet rem mandatam gerere amici sedulo,
ut ipsus in gremio osculantem mulierem teneat sedens?
nullo pacto res mandata potest agi, nisi identidem
manus ferat ei ad papillas, labra a labris nusquam auferat? 480

(_sharply_) Does executing this commission for his friend,
and doing it zealously, call for his sitting down and
holding the girl in his lap while she kisses him? Is there
no way of his carrying out this commission save by his
embracing her time and again in unseemly fashion and never
taking his lips an inch from hers?

nam alia memorare quae illum facere vidi dispudet:
cum manum sub vestimenta ad corpus tetulit Bacchidi
me praesente, neque pudere quicquam. quid verbis opust?
mini discipulus, tibi sodalis periit, huic filius;
nam ego illum periisse dico quoi quidem periit pudor.[17] (485)

Why, I feel ashamed to mention other things I saw him do,
dreadful, dreadful things, in my presence--and never a trace
of shame about him. Why say more? My pupil, your chum, this
father’s son, has perished; for perished I say he has, when
his sense of shame has perished.[17]

_Mnes._

Perdidisti me, sodalis. egone ut illam mulierem (489)
capitis non perdam? perire me malis malim modis. 490
satin ut quem tu habeas fidelem tibi aut cui credas nescias?

You’ve wrecked my life, (_with special acrimony_) chum! Oh,
won’t I wreck that woman’s! I’d rather die a dog’s death
than not get even with her! Can it really be you don’t know
whom to think loyal to you, whom to trust?

_Lydus_

Viden ut aegre patitur gnatum esse corruptum tuom,
suom sodalem, ut ipsus sese cruciat aegritudine?

(_to Philoxenus_) Do you see how he suffers at your son, his
chum, being corrupted; how his very soul is tormented?

_Phil._

Mnesiloche, hoc tecum oro, ut illius animum atque ingenium regas;
serva tibi sodalem et mihi filium.

Mnesilochus, try to control the lad’s impulses and
disposition, I beg you. Save your chum for yourself and
my son for me.

_Mnes._

Factum volo.

(_vehemently_) I wish I might!

_Lydus_

Melius esset, me quoque una si cum illo relinqueres.

(_to Philoxenus_) It would be better for you to leave me
with him, too.

_Phil._

Adfatim est.

No, no, he’ll manage.

_Lydus_

Mnesiloche, cura, ei, concastiga hominem probe,
qui dedecorat te, me amicosque alios flagitiis suis.

Mnesilochus, take charge of him! Go, rate him well--for
degrading you, and me and his other friends with his
enormities.

_Phil._

In te ego hoc onus omne impono. Lyde, sequere
hac me.

I put the whole load on your shoulders. (_turns to go_)
This way, Lydus; come.

_Lydus_

Sequor.

(_gloomily_) Very well. [EXEUNT _Philoxenus_ AND _Lydus_.

III. 4.

Scene 4.

_Mnes._

Inimiciorem nunc utrum credam magis 500
sodalemne esse an Bacchidem, incertum admodumst.
ilium exoptavit potius? habeat. optumest.
ne illa illud hercle cum malo fecit suo;
nam mihi divini numquam quisquam creduat,
ni ego illam exemplis plurumis planeque--amo.
ego faxo hau dicet nactam quem derideat.

(_tempestuously_) I absolutely can’t tell which is my worse
enemy now, my chum or Bacchis. Hankered for him instead of
me, did she? Let her have him! All right, all right! By
heaven, she’ll certainly pay for this; for may no one ever
believe my sacred word again, if I don’t thoroughly and
utterly--(_wryly_) love her. She shan’t say she’s lighted
on a man she can laugh to scorn, I promise you.

nam iam domum ibo atque--aliquid surrupiam patri.
id isti dabo. ego istanc multis ulciscar modis.
adeo ego illam cogam usque ut mendicet--meus pater.
sed satine ego animum mente sincera gero,
qui ad hunc modum haec his quae futura fabulor? 510
amo hercle opinor, ut pote quod pro certo sciam.

For I’ll home this minute, and--steal something from my
father and give it to her. I’ll be revenged on her in all
sorts of ways. Yes indeed, I’ll bring her to such a pass
that--my father will have to beg his bread. But can I really
be in possession of my senses, babbling here in this fashion
about these futurities? Good Lord! I do believe I love her--
seeing I know it for certain.

verum quam illa umquam de mea pecunia
ramenta fiat plumea propensior,
mendicum malim mendicando vincere.
numquam edepol viva me inridebit. nam mihi
decretumst renumerare iam omne aurum patri.

But sooner than let any cash of mine make her a fraction
of a feather-weight the heavier, I’d outbeggar a beggar. By
gad, she shan’t give me the laugh in this world, never! My
mind’s made up--I’ll count out every bit of that gold to my
father this moment.

igitur mi inani atque inopi subblandibitur
tum quom blandiri nihilo pluris referet
quam si ad sepulcrum mortuo narres logos.[18] (519)
profecto stabilest me patri aurum reddere. 520

Then let her try her pretty wiles on me when I’m poverty
stricken and penniless, when it won’t do any more good to
coax than if you were to prattle to a dead man at his tomb.[18]
The money goes to my father, that’s final, absolutely final.

eadem exorabo, Chrysalo causa mea
pater ne noceat, neu quid ei suscenseat
mea causa de auro quod eum ludificatus est;
nam illi aequomst me consulere, qui causa mea
mendacium ei dixit. vos me sequimini.

At the same time I’ll persuade him to let Chrysalus off for
my sake and not to be at all angry with him on account of
his fooling him, for my sake, about the gold. Yes, it is
only right I should look out for the fellow that lied to him
for my sake. (_to slaves with luggage_) Follow me, you.
[EXEUNT INTO HOUSE OF _Nicobulus_.

III. 5.

Scene 5.

(_Fifteen minutes have elapsed_)

ENTER _Pistoclerus_ FROM _Bacchis’s_ HOUSE.

_Pistoc._

Rebus aliis antevortar, Bacchis, quae mandas mihi:
Mnesilochum ut requiram atque ut eum mecum ad te adducam simul.
nam illud animus meus miratur, si a me tetigit nuntius,
quid remoretur. ibo ut visam huc ad eum, si forte est domi.

(_to Bacchis within_) Everything else shall come second
to your commission, Bacchis,--to hunt up Mnesilochus and
bring him back with me. Why, I don’t know what to make of
his delay, if my message reached him. I’ll go look him up at
the house here, in case he happens to be at home.

III. 6.

Scene 6.

ENTER _Mnesilochus_ FROM HOUSE.

_Mnes._

Reddidi patri omne aurum. nunc ego illam me velim 530
convenire, postquam inanis sum, contemptricem meam.
sed veniam mihi quam gravate pater dedit de Chrysalo;
verum postremo impetravi, ut ne quid ei suscenseat.

I’ve handed over the whole sum to my father. Now’s the time
I should like her to meet me, now that I haven’t a sou--my
Lady Disdain! (_pausing_) But how father did hate to
pardon Chrysalus for me! However, I finally induced him to
swallow his wrath.

_Pistoc._

Estne hic meus sodalis?

(_approaching Nicobulus’s house_) Isn’t that my chum?

_Mnes._

Estne hic hostis, quem aspicio, meus?

Isn’t that my enemy I see?

_Pistoc._

Certe is est.

(_beaming_) It certainly is.

_Mnes._

Is est.

(_glowering_) It is.

_Pistoc._

Adibo contra et contollam gradum.
salvos sis, Mnesiloche.

I’ll step up and meet him. (_hurries to him_) Mnesilochus!
bless you!

_Mnes._

Salve.

(_gruffly_) Same to you.

_Pistoc._

Salvos quom peregre advenis,
cena detur.

(_enthusiastically_) We must have a dinner, now you’re safe
back from abroad.

_Mnes._

Non placet mi cena quae bilem movet.

I have no desire for a dinner that stirs my bile.

_Pistoc._

Numquae advenienti aegritudo obiecta est?

(_wonderingly_) You haven’t met with any trouble on your
return, have you?

_Mnes._

Atque acerruma.

Yes, of the worst sort.

_Pistoc._

Unde?

What caused it?

_Mnes._

Ab homine quem mi amicum esse arbitratus sum antidhac.

A man I always took for a friend till now.

_Pistoc._

Multi more isto atque exemplo vivont, quos cum censeas 540
esse amicos, reperiuntur falsi falsimoniis,
lingua factiosi, inertes opera, sublesta fide.
nullus est quoi non invideant rem secundam optingere;
sibi ne invideatur, ipsi ignavia recte cavent.

(_indignantly_) There are plenty of fellows amongst us
of that character and description, fellows you regard as
friends only to find ’em treacherous traitors--energetic
talkers, lazy doers, and ready deserters. There’s no one
they don’t envy his good luck. As for themselves, they take
proper care no one envies them--their own inertness looks
out for that.

_Mnes._

Edepol ne tu illorum mores perquam meditate tenes.
sed etiam unum hoc: ex ingenio malo malum inveniunt suo:
nulli amici sunt, inimicos ipsi in sese omnis habent.
ei se cum frustrantur, frustrari alios stolidi existumant.
sicut est his, quem esse amicum ratus sum atque ipsus sum mihi:
ille, quod in se fuit, accuratum habuit quod posset mali 550
faceret in me, inconciliaret copias omnis meas.

(_dryly_) Well, well! You certainly have a very intimate
acquaintance with their characteristics. But there’s this
one thing to add: they’re cursed by their own cursed
dispositions: friends to no man as they are, they themselves
have foes in all men. When they’re deceiving themselves the
fools fancy they are deceiving others. That’s the way with
this man I thought was as good a friend to me as I am to
myself: as far as in him lay he took pains to do me all the
harm he could, to defraud me of all I had.

_Pistoc._

Improbum istunc esse oportet hominem.

The fellow must be a perfect villain!

_Mnes._

Ego ita esse arbitror.

Precisely my own opinion.

_Pistoc._

Obsecro hercle loquere, quis is est?

(_more indignantly_) By Jove, now! Who is he? Tell me, tell
me.

_Mnes._

Benevolens vivit tibi.
nam ni ita esset, tecum orarem ut ei quod posses mali
facere faceres.

A man on good terms with you. Yes, but for that, I’d beg you
to do him any damage you could.

_Pistoc._

Dic modo hominem qui sit sit: non fecero
ei male aliquo pacto, me esse dicito ignavissimum.

Only tell me who the fellow is: if I don’t damage him
somehow, you can call me the most spiritless wretch on
earth.

_Mnes._

Nequam homost, verum hercle amicus est tibi.

He’s a scoundrel, but good Lord, he is a friend of yours!

_Pistoc._

Tanto magis
dic quis est; nequam hominis ego parvi pendo gratiam.

All the more reason for telling me who he is; it’s little I
care for the favour of a scoundrel.

_Mnes._

Video non potesse quin tibi eius nomen eloquar.
Pistoclere, perdidisti me sodalem funditus. 560

I see there is nothing for me to do but give you his name.
Pistoclerus, (_bitterly_) you have ruined me, your chum,
ruined me utterly.

_Pistoc._

Quid istuc est?

(_aghast_) Eh? What’s that?

_Mnes._

Quid est? misine ego ad te ex Epheso epistulam
super amica, ut mi invenires?

What’s that? Didn’t I send you a letter from Ephesus about
my mistress, asking you to find her for me?

_Pistoc._

Fateor factum, et repperi.

To be sure you did--and I did find her.

_Mnes._

Quid? tibi non erat meretricum aliarum Athenis copia
quibuscum haberes rem, nisi cum illa quam ego mandassem tibi
occiperes tute[19] amare et mi ires consultum male?

What? Weren’t there enough other women in Athens for you to
philander with, without beginning to make love to her, the
girl I had entrusted to you, and trying this underhand trick
on me?

_Pistoc._

Sanun es?

Are you sane?

_Mnes._

Rem repperi omnem ex tuo magistro. ne nega.
perdidisti me.

I have the whole story from your tutor. You needn’t deny it.
You have ruined me.

_Pistoc._

Etiamne ultro tuis me prolectas probris?

(_getting irritated_) Can it be you’re bent on provoking me
with this uncalled for abuse of yours?

_Mnes._

Quid? amas Bacchidem?

Eh? You do love Bacchis?

_Pistoc._

Duas ergo his intus eccas Bacchides.

Well, but look you, there are two Bacchises in here.

_Mnes._

Quid? duas?

(_astonished_) What? Two?

_Pistoc._

Atque ambas sorores.

And sisters, too.

_Mnes._

Loqueris nunc nugas sciens.

Now you’re talking rot, and you know it.

_Pistoc._

Postremo, si pergis parvam mihi fidem arbitrarier, 570
tollam ego ted in collum atque intro hinc auferam.

See here now, if you go on making light of my word, I’ll
perch you up on my neck and carry you off inside. (_seizes
him_)

_Mnes._

Immo ibo, mane.

No, no, I’ll go: wait.

_Pistoc._

Non maneo, neque tu me habebis falso suspectum.

I won’t wait, and I won’t have you suspecting me falsely,
either. (_pulls him toward door_)

_Mnes._

Sequor.

I’m coming. [EXEUNT INTO HOUSE.

ACTVS IV