Chapter XXVII: Prologue

_Tyndarus_ AND _Philocrates_ ARE CHAINED, IN AN
UNCOMFORTABLE POSITION, TO A PILLAR IN FRONT OF
_Hegio’s_ HOUSE

Hos quos videtis stare his captives duos,
illi qui astant,[1] hi stant ambo, non sedent;
hoc vos mihi testes estis me verum loqui.
senex qui his habitat Hegio est huius pater.

These two prisoners you see standing here, well, both of
those bystanders are men who are--standing, not sitting
down. (_Prologue laughs uproariously at his pleasantry_)
I leave it to you if so much is not true. The old man that
lives yonder--(_pointing to Hegio’s house_) Hegio, by name--
is this man’s (_pointing to Tyndarus_) father.

sed is quo pacto serviat suo sibi patri,
id ego hic apud vos proloquar, si operam datis.
seni huic fuerunt filii nati duo;
alterum quadrimum puerum servos surpuit
eumque hinc profugiens vendidit in Alide
patri huius. iam hoc tenetis?[2] optume est. 10

But how it happens that he is the slave of his own father
I shall (_jauntily_) here in your midst proclaim, with your
kind attention. This old gentleman had two sons. One of
them, when he was four years old, was stolen by a slave who
took to his heels and sold the boy in Elis to the father of
this worthy (_pointing to Philocrates_) here. Now you take
me? Very good!

negat hercle ille ultimus. accedito.
si non ubi sedeas locus est, est ubi ambules,
quando histrionem cogis mendicarier.
ego me tua causa, ne erres, non rupturus sum.
vos qui potestis ope vestra censerier,
accipite relicuom: alieno uti nil moror.

Bless my soul! That gentleman at the back says he does not.
Let him step this way--. (_no move in audience_) In case
there is no opportunity to take a seat, sir, you can take a
(_pointing to an exit_) stroll, seeing you insist on making
an actor turn beggar. I have no intention of bursting
myself, merely to keep you from misunderstanding the plot.
(_to rest of audience_) As for you gentlemen who do own
enough property to pay taxes on, let me discharge my debt--
none of the credit system for me.

fugitivos ille, ut dixeram ante, huius patri
domo quem profugiens dominum abstulerat vendidit.
is postquam hunc emit, dedit eum huic gnato suo
peculiarem, quia quasi una aetas erat. 20
hic nunc domi servit suo patri, nec scit pater;
enim vero di nos quasi pilas homines habent.

That runaway slave, as I said before, stole his young
master when he decamped and sold him to this (_indicating
Philocrates_) man’s father. This gentleman, on buying the
boy, gave him to this son of his for his very own, the two
being of about the same age. Now here he is, back home, his
own father’s slave without his father knowing it. Ah yes,
the gods use us mortals as footballs!

rationem habetis, quo modo unum amiserit.
postquam belligerant Aetoli cum Aleis,
ut fit in bello, capitur alter filius:
medicus Menarchus emit ibidem in Alide.
coepit captivos commercari hic Aleos,
si quem reperire possit qui mutet suom,
illum captivom: hunc suom esse nescit, qui domist.

Well, you comprehend the way in which he lost one son.
Later, when war broke out between the Aetolians and Eleans,
the other son was taken prisoner--a common occurrence in
times of war--and a doctor, Menarchus, in that same Elis,
bought the young man. Hegio then began to buy up Elean
captives, hoping to get hold of one that he could exchange
for his son--the captive son, that is: for he has no idea
that this man at his home is his own child.

et quoniam heri indaudivit, de summo loco 30
summoque genere captum esse equitem Aleum,
nil pretio parsit, filio dum parceret:
reconciliare ut facilius posset domum,
emit hosce e praeda ambos de quaestoribus.

And inasmuch as he heard it rumoured yesterday that an Elean
knight of the very highest rank and family connections had
been captured, he had no thought of saving money if only he
could save his son. So in the hope of getting that son back
home more readily he bought both of these prisoners from the
commissioners who were disposing of the spoils.

hisce autem inter sese hunc confinxerunt dolum.
quo pacto hic servos suom erum hinc amittat domum.
itaque inter se commutant vestem et nomina;
illic vocatur Philocrates, hic Tyndarus:
huius illic, hic illius hodie fert imaginem.

These same prisoners, however, have got together and laid
a scheme, as you can see, to the end that the slave here
(_indicating Tyndarus_) may send his master off home.
Accordingly, they have exchanged clothes and names with each
other. That one (_indicating Tyndarus_) is calling himself
Philocrates, and this one (_indicating Philocrates_)
Tyndarus: each is posing as the other for the time being.

et hic hodie expediet hanc docte fallaciam, 40
et suom erum faciet libertatis compotem,
eodemque pacto fratrem servabit suom
reducemque faciet liberum in patriam ad patrem,
imprudens: itidem ut saepe iam in multis locis
plus insciens quis fecit quam prudens boni.

And Tyndarus here is going to work out this trick to-day
like an artist, and set his master at liberty. By so
doing he will rescue his own brother, too, and enable
him to return home to his father a free man, all quite
unwittingly,--as in so many cases before now a man has
often done more good unconsciously than wittingly.

sed inscientes sua sibi fallacia
ita compararunt et confinxerunt dolum
itaque hi commenti, de sua sententia
ut in servitute hic ad suom maneat patrem:
ita nunc ignorans suo sibi servit patri; 50
homunculi quanti sunt, quom recogito!
haec res agetur nobis, vobis fabula.

But all unconsciously, in their trickery, they have so
planned and contrived and schemed, acting upon their own
ideas, that Tyndarus will stay here as his own father’s
slave. So now it is his father he is serving unawares. What
helpless creatures we mortals be, when I stop to reflect!
All this will be fact on the boards, fiction for the
benches.

sed etiam est, paucis vos quod monitos voluerim.
profecto expediet fabulae huic operam dare.
non pertractate facta est neque item ut ceterae:
neque spurcidici insunt versus, immemorabiles;
hic neque periurus leno est nec meretrix mala
neque miles gloriosus; ne vereamini,
quia bellum Aetolis esse dixi cum Aleis:
foris illic extra scaenam fient proelia. 60

About one thing more, though, I should like to offer a word
or two of suggestion. It will undeniably be to your profit
to pay attention to this play. It is not composed in the
hackneyed style, is quite unlike other plays; nor does it
contain filthy lines that one must not repeat. In this
comedy you will meet no perjured pimp, or unprincipled
courtesan, or braggart captain. Let not my statement that
the Aetolians and Eleans are at war alarm you: engagements
will take place off the stage yonder.

nam hoc paene iniquomst, comico choragio
conari desubito agere nos tragoediam.
proin si quis pugnam expectat, litis contrahat:
valentiorem nactus adversarium
si erit, ego faciam ut pugnam inspectet non bonam,
adeo ut spectare postea omnis oderit.

It would almost amount to imposition, you know, for us,
in our comedy get-up, to try to present a tragedy all of a
sudden. So if anyone is looking for a battle scene, let him
pick a quarrel: if he gets a good strong opponent, I promise
him a glimpse of a battle scene so unpleasant that hereafter
he will hate the very sight of one.

abeo. valete, iudices iustissimi
domi duellique duellatores optumi.

(_turning to go_) And so good-bye to you, most just of
judges here at home and doughtiest of fighters in the field.
[EXEUNT _Prologue_ AND _Captives_.

ACTVS I