Chapter C: G. LELAND, Breitmann Ballads

"Oh! Pat; and what do you think will be your
feelings on the day of judgment when you
meet Mrs. Mahoney, and the pig you stole from
her, face to face?" "Does your reverence think the pig
will be there?" "Ay, indeed, will he; and what will ye
say then?" "I shall say, your reverence, 'Mrs. Mahoney,
dear, here's the pig that I borrowed of ye, and I'm
mighty glad to have this opportunity of restoring him!'"

_Life of Rev. W. Harness._

_In vino veritas!_--which means
A man's a very ass in liquor;
The "thief that slowly steals our brains"
Makes nothing but the temper quicker.
Next morning brings a train of woes,
But finds the passions much sedater--
Who was it, now, that pulled my nose?--
I'd better go and ask the waiter.

H. CHOLMONDELEY PENNELL, _Pegasus Resaddled_.

Jones, the tailor, was asked by a customer, who
thought much of his cut, to go down and have
some shooting with him in the country. Among
the party was the Duke of Northumberland. "Well,
Mr. Jones," observed his Grace, "I'm glad to see that
you are becoming a sportsman. What sort of gun do
you shoot with?" "Oh, with a double-breasted one,
your Grace," was the reply.

_Life of Rev. W. Harness._

Now wedlock is a sober thing,
No more of chains or forges!
A plain young man, a plain gold ring,
The curate, and St. George's.

EDWARD FITZGERALD.

The greatest advantage I know of being thought
a wit by the world, is, that it gives one the
greater freedom of playing the fool.

POPE, _Thoughts on Various Subjects_.

Conceive me, if you can,
An every-day young man:
A common-place type,
With a stick and a pipe,
And a half-bred black-and-tan;
Who thinks suburban "hops"
More fun than "Monday Pops";
Who's fond of his dinner,
And doesn't get thinner,
On bottled beer and chops;--
A common-place young man--
A matter-of-fact young man--
A steady and stolid-y, jolly Bank-holiday
Every-day young man!

_Grosvenor_, in W. S. GILBERT's _Patience_.

I do not so much want to avoid being cheated, as
to afford the expense of being so; the generality
of mankind being seldom in good humour but
whilst they are imposing upon you in some shape or
other.

SHENSTONE, _Essays_.

Only think, to have lords overrunning the nation,
As plenty as frogs in a Dutch inundation;
No shelter from barons, from earls no protection,
And tadpole young lords, too, in every direction,--
Things created in haste, just to make a court list of,
Two legs and a coronet all they consist of!

THOMAS MOORE.

Lo! the king, his footsteps this way bending,
His cogitative faculties immersed
In cogibundity of cogitation.

_Aldiborontiphoscophornio_, in CAREY's _Chrononhotonthologos_.

It is with narrow-souled people, as with narrow-necked
bottles: the less they have in them, the
more noise they make in pouring out.

POPE, _Thoughts on Various Subjects_.

One privilege to man is left--
The privilege of earning
The doss that pays the weekly bills.

H. CHOLMONDELEY PENNELL, _Pegasus Resaddled_.

_Happy thought._--"Fridoline!" I have her
permission to call her Fridoline.

Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts!! Happy
thoughts!!!

I think I am speaking: she speaks: we speak
together. A pause. Oh, for one happy thought, now.

"May I?" Her head is turned away from me:
slightly. She does not move. "I may?"

_Happy Thought._--I do.

F. C. BURNAND, _Happy Thoughts_.

INDEX.

A.

Absence an element of charm, 236

Actress, an inanimate, 59

_Adam Bede_, quoted, 11, _et seq._

Adam's language, 27

Advice, Pope on giving, 87

Agreeable person, an, 6

Ailing and ale-ing, 227

Albemarle, Lord, quoted, 32, _et seq._

Alderman, on an, 180

Alderson, Baron, on Lord Campbell, 194

Aldrich, Dean, quoted, 229

_Alice in Wonderland_, quoted, 7, _et seq._

"A little backer," 175

"All Gaul is quartered," 253

"All my eye," 41, 93

All Saints, 106

Allsopp's ale, 152

"All the souls that were," 97

Altruism, Mallock on, 167

Alvanley, Lord, _mot_ by, 67

"Always seem to be modest," 253

_Amours de Voyage_, quoted, 59

"Anecdotage," 43, 107

Animals, George Eliot on, 41, 102

_Anti-Jacobin, the_, quoted, 33

"Ape in the days that were earlier," 43

"Ape with pliable thumb," 17

Aristocracy, the, Phoebus on, 170

Aristocratic poets, 223

Arnold, Matthew, on, 123

_Art de Parvenir, L'_, quoted, 231

Art-Unions, Hood on, 3

Ashburton, Lady, _mots_ by, 30, _et seq._

Ashby-Sterry, J., quoted, 22, _et seq._

_Aspen Court_, quoted, 5

Atalanta, on, 188

Athanasian Creed, the, 89

Austin, Alfred, quoted, 19, _et seq._

B.

_Bab Ballads_, quoted, 105, _et seq._

Bagehot, Walter, _mots_ by, 84, _et seq._

Bailey, Philip James, quoted, 26

Balbus, 103

_Ballades in Blue China_, quoted, 20, _et seq._

Balls and operas, on, 239

Balzac, quoted, 4, _et seq._

Bancroft, Thomas, quoted, 228

Barham, R. H., quoted, 12, _et seq._

Barrington, Sir Jonah, quoted, 28

Barry, Redmond, _mot_ by, 36

Bass's beer, 125

Baxter, Rose, and Norton, 66

Beaconsfield, Lord, quoted, 6, _et seq._

Bean, the, Warner on, 184

Bears, Locker on, 23

"Beautiful soup," 238

Beazley, Samuel, _mots_ by, 51, _et seq._

"Beer, such power hath," 235

_Beppo_, quoted, 21

Berkeley, Grantley, quoted, 142

_Biglow Papers, the_, quoted, 30, _et seq._

_Billee Taylor_, quoted, 127, _et seq._

Bills, Christmas, 256

----, weekly, 202, 264

Bishops, Alvanley on, 129

"Bisness first," 15

Black, a great fact, 5

Blackie, Professor, quoted, 45, _et seq._

"Bloom of ugliness, the," 195

"Blossom of hawthorn," 25

Blows, George Eliot on, 137

Blue-stockings, on, 9

_Bon Gaultier Ballads_, quoted, 71, _et seq._

"Books are fatal," 52

Books, reading new, 221

Boredom, the secret of, 34

Bores, Lady Ashburton on, 30

_Boudoir Ballads_, quoted, 22, _et seq._

Boyd, Mark, quoted, 56, _et seq._

Bramston, John, quoted, 48

Braxfield, Lord, anecdote of, 133

"Break, break, break!" 213

_Breitmann Ballads_, quoted, 86, _et seq._

Bright, John, Professor Blackie on, 204

Brighton, Collins on, 84;
Ashby Sterry on, 211

_British Birds, the_, quoted, 21, _et seq._

Broad church, the, 36

"Broken English," 136

Brooks, Shirley, quoted, 5, _et seq._

Brown, to Lady, 214

Browne, C. F. _See_ Ward, Artemus.

----, J. Jemmett, quoted, 5, _et seq._

Brummell, _mot_ by, 69

Buckle, Professor Blackie on, 127

Burnand, F. C., quoted, 88, _et seq._

Busby, Dr., anecdote of, 150

Business, described, 8

Buxton, Charles, quoted, 27, _et seq._

Byron, H. J., quoted, 10, _et seq._

----, Lord, quoted, 7, _et seq._;
_mot_ by, 62

C.

Callender, Miss, _mot_ on, 1

Calverley, C. S., quoted, 5, _et seq._

Campbell, Thomas, quoted, 231;
Rogers on, 35

Candide, Byron on, 216

Cannon, _mot_ by, 135

"Cannot have everything," 63

Cappadocians, on the, 4

_Careless Husband, the_, quoted, 1

Carey, Henry, quoted, 11, _et seq._

Carlyle, on, 180

_Carols of Cockayne_, quoted, 44, _et seq._

Carroll, Lewis, quoted, 7, _et seq._

Castlereagh, Lord, _mot_ by, 34

Catch, light-fingered, 135

Cayley, G. J., quoted, 80, _et seq._

Celebrity, Chamfort on, 13

Cerberus, H. J. Byron on, 228

Ceremony, 149

Chambermaids, Mark Twain on, 124

Chamfort, quoted, 13, _et seq._

Character, on, 140

_Characteristics_, Hazlitt's, quoted, 15, _et seq._

Charron, quoted, 174

Chatterton, Lady, quoted, 93

Chelmsford, Lord, _mot_ by, 142

Chesterfield, Lord, quoted, 53, _et seq._

Children, Dudley Warner on, 154

China, blue, 149

China-buying, 240

Chloe, Mortimer Collins's, 216

Chloris, to, 240

Chorley, H. F., quoted, 2, _et seq._

Christ Church "Marriage," 193

_Chrononhotonthologos_, quoted, 11, _et seq._

Churches as dormitories, 236

Cibber, Colley, quoted, 1

Clergy, the, and hoeing, 200

Close-fist's subscription, 194

Clough, A. H., quoted, 6, _et seq._

"Coach, coach, coach!" 11

Cockney, the, 173

"Cognac," Byron on, 259

Coleridge, S. T., quoted, 76, _et seq._

_Collection of Epigrams_, quoted, 3, _et seq._

College life, 166

Collins, Mortimer, quoted, 21, _et seq._

_Comic Poets_, quoted, 57, _et seq._

Companies, Thurlow on, 72

Company, our own, 225

Compliments, 60, 188

Compton's _Life_, quoted, 14, _et seq._;
_mots_ by, 55, _et seq._

_Conceits, Clinches_, etc., quoted, 232, _et seq._

Congreve, William, quoted, 12, _et seq._

Conscience, Mallock on, 108;
Byron on, 116

Constancy, Vauvenargues on, 65

Constant, Benjamin, _mot_ by, 230

Contentment, Holmes on, 24

Cork, Lady, anecdote of, 131

"Cornet waltzes, a," 54

Cornopean, the amateur, 173

Courage, drunken, on, 228

Courthope, W. J., quoted, 153

Courtship and marriage, 178

Cowden Clarke, Mrs., quoted, 78

Crawley, Richard, quoted, 36

Critics, the, 202

Croly, George, quoted, 188

Croquet, advice on, 224

Cunningham, John, quoted, 180

Curiosity only vanity, 240

Curran, _mots_ by, 29, _et seq._

"Cursed be the whole concern," 191

D.

Daddy Longlegs, Whately on, 90

Damnation, preaching, 30

Darwin, on, 8, 180

Daughter, an obstinate, 37

Davies, Scrope, quoted, 130

Deshoulières, Madame, quoted, 37

_Devil's Walk, the_, quoted, 36

_Diary_, Crabb Robinson's, quoted, 24, _et seq._

---- Greville's, quoted, 129

----, Moore's, quoted, 9, _et seq._

----, W. C. Macready's, quoted, 75, _et seq._

----, Young's, quoted, 4, _et seq._

Dickens, Charles, quoted, 15, _et seq._

Dinner, after, 185

Dinner-bell, Lord Byron on the, 7

_Dipsychus_, quoted, 163

"Dirty-two," 82

"_Dis_contents, the," 21

Dobson, Austin, quoted, 11, _et seq._

Domestic woman, a, 198

Donaldson, Dr., _mots_ by, 24, _et seq._

_Don Juan_, quoted, 7, _et seq._

Donne, Dr., quoted, 48;
_mot_ by, 212

"Don't Care," Helps on, 13

D'Orsay, Count, _mots_ by, 184, _et seq._

_Double Dealer, the_, quoted, 12

Drake, Dr., _mot_ by, 36

"Draw it mild," 219

Drawing on wood, 7

Dress, Vigo on, 222

Drinking, reasons for, 229

Dudley, Lord, Castlereagh on, 34;
_mot_ by, 241

_Duenna, the_, quoted, 37

Dumas _fils_, quoted, 87

Dust and disease, 78

"Dust of an earthy to-day, the," 261

Duty, Clough on, 6

Dying boy, the, 251

E.

Early rising, Saxe on, 122;
Hood on, 195

Eater, on a small, 226

Edinburgh, Hannay on, 116

Eliot, George, quoted, 6, _et seq._

Ellenborough, Lord, _mot_ by, 84

Emerson, R. W., quoted, 47

_Endymion_, Lord Beaconsfield's, 80, _et seq._

_English Epigrams_, quoted, 10, _et seq._

---- language, the, 32, 60

"Entirely within their province," 244

_Epigram in Distich_, quoted, 85

Episcopal office, Sydney Smith on, 192

Equality, on, 45

_Eugene Aram_, quoted, 152

Evans, Anne, quoted, 49, _et seq._

Evening dress, on ladies', 174

---- newspapers, 241

"Every-day young man, an," 263

Eye-glass, on the, 164

F.

_Fable for critics, a_, quoted, 178

False love's quirk, 230

Fanshawe, Catherine M., quoted, 256

Fashion, Lytton on, 18

Feeding a cold, 42

_Felix Holt_, quoted, 26

Felons and their "innocent enjoyment," 241

_Festus_, quoted, 26

Fiddler, on a bad, 3

Fielding, Henry, quoted, 56

Fields, J. T., quoted, 14, _et seq._

_Fifty years of my life_, quoted, 32, _et seq._

Fine lady, a, Pope on, 42

"First men of the century," 185

Fitzgerald, Edward, quoted, 262

Flattery, Vauvenargues on, 95

_Fly-leaves_, quoted, 15, _et seq._

Fools, Hazlitt on, 143

Foote, _mots_ by, 211, _et seq._

"Forever," 142

Fortune, on, 251

Forty year, 197

"Forty years long," 156

"Found it advisable," 57

"Four by honours," 33

Franklin, Mark Twain on, 178

Fraser, Professor, quoted, 247

Free-thinking, 113

"Free to confess," 47

Freeman, Mr., on, 242

----, Thomas, quoted, 196

"Friend, go thy way," 155

Friends and ripe fruit, 79

----, Hazlitt on, 106

_---- in Council_, quoted, 13, _et seq._

----, Old, Selden on, 11

French, the, Harness on, 38

---- and English, 210

Froude and Kingsley, 111

Fuller, Francis, quoted, 173

Funny man, a, 30

G.

Galla, Haryngton on, 225

"Gardener's rule, this," 248

Garnett, Richard, quoted, 60, _et seq._

Gay, John, quoted, 240

Genus, 111

"Georgium Any-sidus," 99

German language, the, 237

"Gift of the gab," 74

Gilbert, W. S., quoted, 14, _et seq._

_Gilfil's love story_, quoted, 41

Gillon, Joseph, _mot_ by, 141

Good little girls, 115

"Good not the word," 55

Good people, Locker on, 204

Grapes and gripes, on, 155

Gratitude, popular, 189

Graves, Richard, quoted, 225

Greville, Charles, quoted, 129

Gronow's _Recollections_, quoted, 10, _et seq._

_Guesses at Truth_, quoted, 5, _et seq._

H.

"Halidame, by thy," 257

Hamilton, Sir John, _mot_ by, 28

Hannay, James, quoted, 23, _et seq._

_Happy Thoughts_, quoted, 88, _et seq._

Harness, William, _mot_ by, 38

Harrison, W. H., quoted, 38, _et seq._

Harte, Bret, quoted, 80, _et seq._

Haryngton, Sir John, quoted, 225

Hay, John, quoted, 13, _et seq._

Haydon, B. R., quoted, 4, _et seq._

Hayward, Abraham, quoted, 3, _et seq._

Hazlitt, William, quoted, 15, _et seq._

Heath, Robert, quoted, 201

"Hegel's modest formula," 53

Heine, Heinrich, quoted, 126, _et seq._

Helps, Sir Arthur, quoted, 13, _et seq._

_Heptalogia, the_, quoted, 250

"Heureux plafond," 85

Hicks, epigrams by, 2, _et seq._

_High Life Below Stairs_, quoted, 37

Hill, Aaron, quoted, 205

_H.M.S. Pinafore_, quoted, 56

Holmes, Oliver Wendell, quoted, 24, _et seq._

Holland, Lord, epigram by, 51

"Home they brought," 200

Hood, Thomas, quoted, 3, _et seq._;
anecdotes of, 155, _et seq._

Hook, Theodore, _mots_ by, 2, _et seq._

_Horace at Athens_, quoted, 32, _et seq._

_---- in London_, quoted, 34

_Horse and Foot_, quoted, 36

House of Commons, on, 160

"How doth the little crocodile," 118

Hugman, R., quoted, 92

Hugo, Victor, Heine on, 151

Humility, Selden on, 48

Hunt, Leigh, quoted, 228

_Hunting of the Snark, the_, quoted, 22, _et seq._

Husband, an intemperate, 65

----, the desire of a, 177

"Hyam to Moses," 19

_Hyperion_, quoted, 117

Hypocrite, a, 148

I.

"I and non-I," 246

"I loiter down," 162

"I make the butter fly," 32

_Idylls and Epigrams_, quoted, 60, _et seq._

Ignorance, blessed, 201

----, Felix Holt on, 199

Immorality, present day, 92

Impositions of mankind, 263

Incapable person, on an, 252

_Ingoldsby Lyrics_, quoted, 12, _et seq._

Insolence, 12

Intentions, good, 91

Irving, Washington, _mot_ by, 4

J.

Jabberwock, The, 220

_Janet's Repentance_, quoted, 96

Jeaffreson, J. C., quoted, 85

Jekyll, _mot_ by, 26

Jenkins, Mrs., quoted, 171

Jenner, lines on, 6

Jerdan, William, quoted, 135

Jerrold, Douglas, _mot_ by, 14

"John P. Robinson, he," 30

Johnson, Dr., quoted, 50

"Juliet was a fool," 53

"Jure mariti," 57

Juxtaposition, Clough on, 113

K.

Kean, B. Smith and, 9

"Keep all you have," 17

Kemble, Fanny, quoted, 1, _et seq._

_Kenelm Chillingly_, quoted, 39

Kenny, _mot_ by, 156

"Kill him where he is," 147

_King Arthur_, quoted, 17

Kingsley and Froude, 111

Knowles, Sheridan, anecdotes of, 9, _et seq._

L.

_Ladies in Parliament_, quoted, 13, _et seq._

Ladies' accomplishments, on, 132

_Lady of Lyons, the_, quoted, 130

Lafayette, Heine on, 227

Lake poets, the, 130

Lamb, Charles, _mots_ by, 22, _et seq._

Landor, Walter Savage, quoted, 64, _et seq._

Lang, Andrew, quoted, 20, _et seq._

La Rochefoucauld, quoted, 20, _et seq._

_Las Alforgas_, quoted, 160

Latest Decalogue, the, 218

_Latter-Day Lyrics_, quoted, 101

Laughter, Byron on, 96

"Lays of now-a-days," 67

Leigh, H. S., quoted, 44, _et seq._

Leland, C. G., quoted, 86, _et seq._

_Letters to Julia_, quoted, 39

Lettuce and conversation, 169

Life described, 203

Lindsay, Lady Charlotte, _mots_ by, 70, _et seq._

Lingendes, Jean de, quoted, 151

_Literary Gazette, the_, quoted, 97

"Literature suited to desolate islands", 178

"Little Billee," quoted, 217

"Little knowledge, a," 95

"Livy was Tacitus," 122

Locker, Frederick, quoted, 8, _et seq._

Lockhart, J. G., quoted, 141

London, Morris on, 4

_---- Lyrics_, quoted, 8, _et seq._

Longfellow, quoted, 117

"Look to settlements," 145

_Lothair_, quoted, 6, _et seq._

Lot's wife, Hicks on, 2

Love and marriage, 31, 99, 159, 168

---- and wisdom, 174

----, Chamfort on, 55

----, Corporal Bunting on, 152

----, first and second, 195

----, first, Bernal on, 112

_---- for Love_, quoted, 77

---- -letters, 158

"---- levels all," 239

---- -making, Balzac on, 4

----, manifestations of, 127

---- song, by H. Smith, 18

"Lovely woman, lump of folly," 184

"Love's but a dance," 27

Lowell, J. R., quoted, 30, _et seq._

Lucilius, quoted, 208

Luck, good and bad, 150

"Luke-warm," 117

Luttrell, Henry, _mots_ by, 23, _et seq._;
quoted, 39

Lying and good breeding, 77

_Lyra Urbanica_, quoted, 4, _et seq._

Lytton, Lord, quoted, 8, _et seq._

M.

"Macadamnable," 254

Macaulay, Lord, quoted, 2, _et seq._

MacCulloch, _mot_ by, 219

Mackay, Charles, quoted, 68

_Macmillan's Magazine_, quoted, 33, _et seq._

Macready, W. C., quoted, 75

Magnanimity, Hazlitt on, 15

"Maidens of the mart," 19

Mallock, W. H., quoted, 46, _et seq._

Man of business, the, 75

_---- of Taste, the_, quoted, 48

Man's end, 30

_Margaret Percival_, quoted, 15

Marie-Louise, 227

Marriage, Shirley Brooks on, 55;
Mrs. Steele on, 58;
Selden on, 71, 95;
Chamfort on, 79

Martial, in London, 169;
quoted, 221

Matrimony, Heine on, 171

Matter, the laws of, 46

_Maximes_, Chamfort's, quoted, 13, _et seq._

Men, George Eliot on, 249

Men's nature, Buxton on, 27

Mendelssohn, anecdote of, 133

Meredith, George, quoted, 31

Merit, how treated, 28

Merry Wives of Windsor, the, 186

_Middlemarch_, quoted, 21, _et seq._

Middleton, Lord, anecdote of, 172

_Mill on the Floss, the_, quoted, 17, _et seq._

Mind and Matter, Neaves on, 140

Minorities, the rights of, 208

_Mistura Curiosa_, quoted, 147, _et seq._

Mitford, Miss, quoted, 67, _et seq._

"Mixture as before, the," 244

_Modern Love_, quoted, 31

_Money_, quoted, 60

----, Clough on, 163

Monk Lewis, anecdote of, 54

Montrond, _mots_ by, 168, _et seq._

Moore, Thomas, quoted, 9, _et seq._

Morality, H. Smith on, 51

Mormons, on the, 197

Morris, Charles, quoted, 4, _et seq._

"Most music-hall," 243

Mothers-in-law, 146, 247

_Musa Burschicosa_, quoted, 45, _et seq._

"My Lord," 183

_My Summer in a Garden_, quoted, 47, _et seq._

N.

Narrow-souled people, 264

Neaves, Lord, quoted, 8, _et seq._

Neilson, Miss, on, 67

"Never read," 89

Newell, R. H., quoted, 26, _et seq._

Newgate Windows, on, 229

_New Paul and Virginia_, quoted, 46, _et seq._

_---- Republic, the_, quoted, 92, _et seq._

Newspapers, Lord Beaconsfield on, 152

Nice, on the word, 229

North, Lord, _mot_ by, 67

Northern lights, on, 58

_Notes of thought_, quoted, 27, _et seq._

"Nothing is, and nothing's not," 53

"---- new," 47

"---- particular on my mind," 40

Novel, A Nutshell, 119

----, a sensation, described, 93

November, Planché on, 203

Number One, Lytton on, 50

O.

O'Connell, Morgan John, _mot_ by, 70

_Old Bachelor, the_, quoted, 178

_Old Times and Distant Places_, quoted, 34

Oliphant, Lawrence, quoted. 35, _et seq._

_Once a Week_, quoted, 9, _et seq._

Onion, the, 47

"---- is strength," 105

Orange, the, 156

_Orpheus C. Kerr Papers_, quoted, 26, _et seq._

Original sin, 231

Outram, George, quoted, 179

Overbury, Sir Thomas, quoted, 104

_Owl, the_, quoted, 64

P.

Palladas, quoted, 59, _et seq._

_Pall Mall Gazette, the_, quoted, 53, _et seq._

Palmerston, Lord, _mot_ by, 85

_Paradise of Birds, the_, quoted, 153

"_Parcus_ deorum cultor," 73

Parr, Dr., Basil Montague on, 129

Pascal, quoted, 240

_Patchwork_, quoted, 45, _et seq._

_Patience_, quoted, 88, _et seq._

Patrons' promises, Lord Holland on, 51

_Paul Clifford_, quoted, 8

Peel, Sir Robert, _mot_ by, 111

_Pelham_, quoted, 18

Pennell, H. Cholmondeley, quoted, 16, _et seq._

_Pensées_, Pascal's, quoted, 240

Permissive Bill, the, 203

"Personal" and "real," 32

_Phantasmagoria_, quoted, 85, _et seq._

Phoebe, to, 187

Phryne, Donne on, 48

_Physiologie du Mariage_, quoted, 4, _et seq._

_Piccadilly_, quoted, 35, _et seq._

"Pickle your lordship!" 247

Picnic party, a, 15, 86

Pictures, seeing, 151

Piety and cooking, 112

_Pirates of Penzance, the_, quoted, 58

"Plain leg of mutton," 55

Planché, J. R., quoted, 9, _et seq._

Pleasing, the art of, 31

Pleasure of not going to church, the, 254

Pleasures of the people, the, 234

Plunket, _mots_ by, 32, _et seq._

_Poems and Music_, quoted, 49, _et seq._

_Poetical Farrago, the_, quoted, 154

Poets' meaning, Byron on, 21

Poisoners, social, 110

"Policeman's lot, the," 209

Pommery Gréno, 193

Poole, _mot_ by, 161

Poor relations, George Eliot on, 43

Pope, Alexander, quoted, 42, _et seq._

Popular man, a, 122

Positivists, the, Collins on, 108, 138

Poverty, on, 85;
the ancients on, 8

Practical man, a, 49

"Practising all night," 35

Praed, W. M., quoted, 128

Praise, La Rochefoucauld on, 20

Preaching, Baron Alderson on, 174

Preoccupied man, a, 129

Presbyterian singing, 215

Pride of talent, 73

"Priest's orders," 61

Prigs, 120

Prima donna, the, and stout, 5

Primitive man, Lang on, 20

---- tongue, the, 49

Princess-robe, the, 84

Privileged person, a, 250

"Pro conibus calidis," 68

Procter, Bryan Waller, quoted, 35

Property in England, 165

Prophecy, a mistake, 239

Prospectus, 41

_Proverbs in Porcelain_, quoted, 27, _et seq._

Public dinners, Helps on, 44

Public-house, on a, 90

_Puck on Pegasus_, quoted, 16, _et seq._

_Punch_, quoted, 228, _et seq._

Punsters, Lamb on, 246

Pygmalion, on, 5

Q.

_Question d'Argent, la_, quoted, 87

R.

Radical, on a certain, 215

---- reformer, on a, 23

Rank and trade, on, 5

Recognition, the, 183

_Recollections_, Berkeley's, quoted, 142

----, Gronow's, quoted, 10, _et seq._

----, Mackay's, quoted, 68, _et seq._

----, Planché's, quoted, 9, _et seq._

_Record of a Girlhood_, quoted, 1, _et seq._

Reece, Robert, quoted, 57, _et seq._

_Réflexions_, Deshoulières', quoted, 37

----, La Rochefoucauld's, 20, _et seq._

----, Vauvenargues', quoted, 65, _et seq._

Reliable, on the word, 170

Religion, Selden on, 176

---- of humanity, the, 242

_Reminiscences_, Boyd's, quoted, 56, _et seq._

----, Teignmouth's, 36, _et seq._

Repentance, La Rochefoucauld on, 59;
Hazlitt on, 60

Retz, Cardinal de, quoted, 96

Reynolds, Hamilton, _mot_ by, 133

_Richelieu_, quoted, 76

"Rise up, cold reverend," 83

Robinson, Crabb, quoted, 24, _et seq._

Rogers, Samuel, quoted, 1, _et seq._;
_mots_ by, 21, _et seq._

Romances, Byron on, 177

_Romola_, quoted, 6, _et seq._

"Rose kissed me to-day," 48

Rose, Sir George, _mots_ by, 33, _et seq._

Rossini, anecdotes of, 76, _et seq._

Routh, Dr., _mot_ by, 86

"Rum and true religion," 159

S.

"Saddest when I sing," 16

Safety in numbers, 98

Saints and sinners, 81

Salad, Mortimer Collins on, 236

Satan a blunderer, 225

Saunders and Otley, 94

Savile Clarke, H., quoted, 125, _et seq._

Sawyer, William, quoted, 65, _et seq._

Saxe, John Godfrey, quoted, 10, _et seq._

Scandal, on, 196

Scotch economy, 40

Scotch tunes, 152

Scotch weather, on, 205

_Season, the_, quoted, 19, _et seq._

Sègur, Comte de, quoted, 87

Selden, John, quoted, 11, _et seq._

Self-satisfaction, 235

Sensible men, the religion of, 146

Sermons, stolen, 258, 259

"Sermons and soda-water," 150

Sewell, Miss, quoted, 15

"Shade over, a," 226

Shakespeare, quoted, 10

Shelburne, Lord, _mot_ by, 159

Shenstone, William, quoted, 44, _et seq._

Sheridan, R. B., quoted, 37;
_mot_ by, 65

"Shickspur," 37

_Shotover Papers, the_, quoted, 83, _et seq._

Sidey, J. A., quoted, 147

Sinclair, Archdeacon, quoted, 34

"Sing for the garish eye," 14

Singer, on a bad, 76

"Singing singers, the," 87

_Sketches and Characters_, quoted, 23, _et seq._

Smith, Horace, quoted, 18, _et seq._;
_mot_ by, 25

----, James, _mot_ by, 213;
quoted, 34, _et seq._

----, Robert, _mots_ by, 2, _et seq._

----, Sydney, _mots_ by, 1, _et seq._

Societies, Chesterfield on, 208

Society, a state of war, 231

Society, two classes in, 120

_Songs and Poems_, Planché's, quoted, 75, _et seq._

_Songs and Verses_, Neaves's, quoted, 8, _et seq._

_---- of many Seasons_, quoted, 5, _et seq._

_---- of Singularity_, quoted, 32, _et seq._

_Sorcerer, the_, quoted, 61

Southesk, Lord, quoted, 230

Speculation, George Eliot on, 52

---- and peculation, 210

"Splendid shilling, the," 260

Squinted, on one who, 207

Steele, Mrs. A. C., quoted, 5, _et seq._

Stephens, H. P., quoted, 127, _et seq._

Stuart Mill on Mind and Matter, 140

Stupid people, on, 179

Stupidity, Heine on, 159

Suckling, Sir John, quoted, 98

Sunday dismality, 123

Swift, Jonathan, quoted, 49, _et seq._

T.

_Table Talk_, Selden's, quoted, 11, _et seq._

Tailors, Overbury on, 104

"Take him for half and half," 68

Talleyrand, _mot_ by, 10

Teignmouth, Lord, quoted, 36, _et seq._

Temper, on losing, 138

"Tender ten," 53

Tennyson, Alfred, quoted, 148;
anecdote of, 132

----, after, 260

Thackeray, _mots_ by, 46, _et seq._;
quoted, 55

Theatrical nuisance, on a, 220

Theophilus, Rogers on, 1

Theory, a favourite, 248

Thurlow, Lord, _mot_ by, 72

"Tide of time, the," 107

Tierney, _mot_ by, 136

Time, on, 253

_Tin Trumpet, the_, quoted, 18, _et seq._

"Tommy Onslow", 46

Tom Thumb, 258

_Tom Thumb_, quoted, 56

"Too much--too much," 136

"To sniggle or to dibble," 175

"To urn or not to urn," 65

Town and country, 128

Townshend, Henry, quoted, 130

Tradition, George Eliot on, 76

Tragedies and comedies, 124

Trapp, Dr., epigram on, 154

Traveller, the, and the gorilla, 60

Travelling, on, 180

Trevelyan, G. O., quoted, 13, _et seq._

_Trial by Jury_, quoted, 43

"Trifles," on, 214

Turner, Godfrey, quoted, 20

Turnips, Mark Twain on, 19

Twain, Mark, quoted, 19, _et seq._

'Twas ever thus, 198

Tweeddale, Lady, story of, 2

_Twelfth Night_, quoted, 10

"Twinkle, twinkle, little bat," 97

Tyndall, Professor, Collins on, 192

U.

Umbrellas, on, 240

_University Magazine, the_, quoted, 38

"Upper G., my," 139

V.

Vanity, 143, 116

Vauvenargues, quoted, 65, _et seq._

_Veiled Prophet, the_, parody on, 222

Veracity, George Eliot on, 68

_Verses and Translations_, quoted, 5, _et seq._

"Vexation of spirit," 35

_Vignettes in Rhyme_, quoted, 11, _et seq._

Virtutem, in, 196

"Voice of the lobster," 42

Voltaire, quoted, 34;
Charles Lamb on, 220

W.

Walpole, Horace, quoted, 2, _et seq._

Walrus and the Carpenter, the, 158

Ward, Artemus, quoted, 7, _et seq._

Warner, Charles Dudley, quoted, 47, _et seq._

Warrender, Sir George, story of, 239

Washington, George, Mark Twain on, 185

Water, Lord Neaves on, 181

Weather, the clerk of the, 249

Webbe, Egerton, quoted, 170

"Wedlock is a sober thing," 262

"Weed, the," Neaves on, 70

Welsh language, the, 238

Werther and Charlotte, 166

Whiting and the snail, the, 7

Whately, anecdotes of, 3, _et seq._

_What will he do with it?_ quoted, 89, _et seq._

"When other lips," 190

"Whims and oddities," 3, _et seq._

Whitings or shoeblacks, 256

"Why the Dickens," 16

Wife, a, 108

"Wife who preaches, a," 135

Wife's dress, a, 227

"Wife's a widdy, his," 101

"Wilcox or Gibbs?" 21

_Wit and Humour_, Brooks's, quoted, 6, _et seq._

Wit of a family, the, 257

_Within an Ace_, quoted, 171

Wives, on, 167

Woman, a, with babbies, 196

---- before marriage, 245

Woman's choice, 143

---- self-love, 163

Women and a secret, 76

---- and books, 217, 130

---- and degrees, 104

---- and fact, 41

---- and flattery, 114, 132

---- and insincerity, 163

----, and men's happiness, 126

----, and men's praise, 126

---- and revenge, 54

---- and spite, 107

---- and their lovers, 13, 77

---- and wills, 92

----, and young and old, 120

---- as unionists, 151

----, Bartle Massey on, 175

----, Congreve on, 243

---- in a garden, 247

----, management of, 39

---- matched with men, 160

----, talkativeness of, 131

----, the two passions of, 125

Women's conversation, 49

---- rights, 86

---- virtue, 135, 205

Working by the hour, 139

Working-man, the, 161

_World, the_, quoted, 76

Wraxall, Sir Nathaniel, quoted, 138

Writing-master, on a left-handed, 173

"Wus, ever wus," 78

Y.

Yates, Edmund, quoted, 106, _et seq._

_Yesterdays with authors_, quoted, 14, _et seq._

Young, Brigham, 157

----, J. C., quoted, 4, _et seq._

---- ladies of to-day, 137

---- men of to-day, 93

PRINTED BY WILLIAM CLOWES AND SONS, LIMITED, LONDON AND BECCLES.

End of Project Gutenberg's Quips and Quiddities, by William Davenport Adams